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Stay, I will Live, Leave, I will Die

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~ Karma POV~

So long as I can remember. I was always beaten by my father.
Getting low grades, Losing a competition, simply being different from others make my father hate me.
I always have bruises and bandages when I go to school the next day, that the students steered clear of me.
Not that I care what others think. They already think I'm a delinquent, I didn't say anything to affirm or deny the rumor. I just let them be.
I didn't mind how the students were afraid of me or how the teachers try to be in my good side, since they all know my father is a well-known businessman.
Since my father donate a sum of money to the school. The School board just let me off lightly. I hated the lot of them.
----
He got beaten up by his father, when he's dad came home drunk at the middle of the night.
karma signal his mother to hurry and go hide in the room, so that he's father wouldn't see her and be involved in one of he's father's fit.
He greeted his father, like the dutiful son he is, before he prepared himself for the pain that comes after.
He was beaten using the lamp shade at the living room, when he's father saw him.
He's dad must have another business deal that gone bad. he's dad would always goes home drunk whenever a business deal turned to be bad or a failure.
He cough out blood, he's father continued beating him with the lamp shade ,but he's whole body has gone numb, he could no longer feel the pain that covers his whole body.
When he's father calm down. he left karma sprawled on the floor. The next minute his mom quietly came to his side and dress his wound.
He heard his mother asking Karma to forgive he's father.
She keep asking for forgivenes against her muffled cry.
Karma could only nod. He was tired from it all. the next minute he black out.
---------- 5:30 am Monday
when he woke up. he was in his room. The sun has already risen.
He's body felt heavy, and he turn and turn before he could lift himself on bed. Or more like, he allow himself to fall off the bed and use it, to lift himself up.
He got up and felt a sharp pain on his head.
he touch it and felt a bandage .
He could feel his shirt soak with sweat and He was feeling hot and dizzy.
He could not remember how he ended up in his room.
It could be his mom, help him up to his room, or he unconsciously crawled to his room.

after taking a hot shower, applied the medicine on his bruises. Karma left the room and head downstairs. It seem that his father have already left for work.
his mom was at the kitchen, cleaning the plates.
' Oh Good morning karma- How are you feeling?', he's mother asked him, worry in her voice.
'Fine', he replied.
He grabbed the bento his mother prepared for him and quickly left the house.
He have to walk to the station and rode the train to get to his school. and at this time , the subway is gonna be packed with students and adults hurrying to go to school.
----------- 6:00 am Monday
~~ Karma POV~~
'Karma-kun', I heard a boy called my name.
I pretended I didn't hear my name being called and waited at the side.
Somebody tap me lightly on the shoulder and a boy appeared infront of me.
I frowned. Now I can't pretend I didn't hear or see him, since he's right infront of me now.
' Nagisa-kun'
'Karma-kun', the boy smiled cheerfully, ' I was calling your name a while ago, but since you didn't hear me, I decided to come closer', he explained
I wish you didn't.
'I see'
nagisa nodded.
What a bad day.

the 2 of us sometimes see each other in the subway since nagisa's house must be around the place.
Nagisa would always call my name, when the he sees me, that's why I sometimes have to hide or intentionally be late for school just so I don't bump into him. today was just an unlucky day.
Nagisa casual friendliness irritates me- I don't know why- I just do.

the other thing that bothered me, is that Nagisa always has a girl by his side, everytime I see him. It's not like it was just the same girl, but a different girl everytime. It just pissed me off. But Nagisa right now is alone, which is quite a surprise.
'I'm surprises to see you alone Nagisa-kun', I look at him, ' thought you were hanging out with your girlfriends', I said mockingly.
Nagisa just smiled, which irritates me more, he seemed to be unaffected by what I said just now.
' It's nice to see you too Karma-kun- did you wake up late too?', he asked cheerfully, totally ignoring what I said before.
I ignored him. I'm now pissed and my body felt hot. I don't have any energy to entertain this boy.
When he knew i was just ignoring him,
Nagisa just nodded, as if affirming the answer.
I focus my gaze anywhere as long as its not Nagisa. The boy didn't left my side and we just stood side by side in awkward silence.
Why is he not leaving me alone. Can't you just wuddle off to your girlfriends and ignore me.
When the train arrived at the station. Nagisa beamed happily.
He suddenly grabbed my arm. The sudden force and gripped made me winced and I quickly shook off nagisa's hand.
The bruise on my Right arm hasn't healed yet, but suddenly being grabbed like that made the pain start to throb.
When I notice Nagisa looking at me worriedly, I quickly put on my mask to hide my pained expression.
I saw Nagisa frowned as he stared at his hands, he then curled it into a fist.

'karma-kun', I heard nagisa say my name with a gentle voice.
I look up and Nagisa was extending a hand to me.
' the door is about to close so- if you don't want to wait here for another train and be late for school- then come on',Nagisa told me as he waited for karma to hold he's hand.
I studied nagisa's expression. There was no hidden objective or plan the boy is acting. He just smiled innocently. Does he really don't want me to be late for school? only that?
I furrowed my bro as I look at Nagisa's outstretch hand. I still hesitated hold Nagisa's hand.
the bell signalling the departure of the train sounded. I sighed in relief. Now he's bound to leave me since the train is about to leave. He wouldn't stay here and wait for a guy like me.

When suddenly, Nagisa grabbed my left hand and gently pulled me inside the train.
Everything happened so fast that by the time I reacted, the door behind me had already close.
I glared at Nagisa and the boy just beamed at me victoriously.

' Phew. A few minutes late and the door could have close before us', Nagisa exclaimed happily.
I didn't respond, I just continue staring at my hand which was held my Nagisa and the boy isn't planning of letting my hand go.
' Hey Karma. are you having a fever?', Nagisa asked me as the he notice the increase in temperature in my hand.
He lifted my hand and brought it to he's cheeks.
Nagisa acted as if it was the most natural thing to do.
The awkward action, made me quickly retract my hand and slipped it into my coat.
' I'm not. Just the change of weather perhaps', I lied. I was already feeling dizzy this morning and the thought taking a bath would make me feel better, clearly wasn't effective as I thought i would be. It only made me feel worse. Before I arrived at the station, I was already breathless and sweating, even against the cold weather. I put my mask on, but Nagisa still notice among the crowd. I blamed my red hair. My striking hair color which I inherited from my grandmother, was to blame and my mom refuse to let me dye my hair, since she find it adorable that I resemble my father.
I wasn't happy with that.
I wasn't intending for anyone to see me weak and helpless and Nagisa was at the top of my list, but Being together with Nagisa in my worse condition is truly unlucky. How I ended up with him, must be my worst luck yet.
-----
The train started to shake as it made a left. I felt my footing lost balance, I tried to hold the hand bars, but I didn't make it in time and I felt my body get pushed to side by sudden movement.
I braced myself for impact. the wounds on my back hasn't healed yet and the beating yesterday made my whole body ached.
Crashing on the side of the train at this speed, clearly isn't good.
I cursed mentally and expected the massive pain radiate through my body.
' Karma', I heard him call my name and strong arms caught me before I could crash to the side.
when the train stop shaking, as it steadied on a straight track. Nagisa help me up, as he supported my side.
I winced when he gripped my waist, and Nagisa slowly pulled away, giving me an apologetic looked. But he didn't move away and stayed closed to me, his hand holdng the pole, while he's other hand was slipped inside his jacket.
--------------

'you okay?', Nagisa asked me, his tone full of concern. Why do you care if I'm fine or not! is this just some false concern you're showing me.
'yeah-fine',Karma steeled his word. He moved away from nagisa and leaned on the side of the door.
nagisa smiled and nodded.
-----------7:00 am Monday
When the train slowed down, I looked to see if we have arrive in our station, when we did. I waited for the door to open, and quickly hastened my phase to get away from Nagisa and hurry to school.
I didn't look behind me to check if Nagisa was following along.

I passed through the school gate , there was a teacher standing there, who saw me and gave me an unimpressed look. I ignored him and continue walking, I didn't bother to bow and greet him. after all, most of their paychecks came from my father's donation. Why should I bow my head, like they were superior than me, when my family is paying them to do their job.
I run towards the entrance when i heard my name being called. I didn't hear anything
I thought as I hastened to reached the shoe locker.
Nagisa overtake me and he suddenly place his hand to my cheeks.
' Karma- you can't go to class like this', I was about to shook his hand when Nagisa grabbed it firmly but not strong enough to hurt me. I frowned.
' You're running a high fever and going to class will just make it worse', I by now was glaring at him. If looks could kill, then I bit my expression now might be able to do it.
Nagisa notice me glaring at him, but he didn't let go of my hand.
' leave me alone', I shouted and with all the force I could muster, pushed nagisa, when he loses his balance, he quickly let my hand go, and landed on his butt.

'Oww-', i heard nagisa complained.
But I was already speeding inside the entrance.
-------------
I quickly changed into my indoor shoes and head to the hallway. the 1st year class is on the 3rd floor and I have to take the stairs to get there.
I looked behind me, making sure Nagisa isn't following me. I turned and saw him come out from the shoe locker area.
When he saw me, he run towards me.
When I saw him running, I run as well. reflex maybe.
I dashed and hurried to the stairs, there is no elevator or escalator that would take me to the 3rd floor immediately, and the only means of getting there is through the stairs- so the stairs it is.
I manage to climb 3 flight of stairs when I find myself coughing badly, a dizzy spell hit me and I could only hold onto the railing, to prevent myself from falling.
I crouched down and leaned to the railings as I gripped it tightly as if my life depended on it.
I felt nauseous, I haven't eaten anything this morning and with all this running and coughing episodes. I felt my strength leaving my body.
I heard the sound of running footsteps down below and finally stop behind me.
----
'karma-kun', I heard nagisa shout my name .
' Stay away!', I shouted, not looking up.
Don't look at me.
'Karma-kun-Stop right there', I could hear his footsteps slowly advancing towards me.
Don't come near me. I don't want anyone to see me like this.
' I said stay away Nagisa', I shouted angrily, dropping the -kun.
Just leave me alone
I heard his footstep passed by me and stop infront.
'Karma-kun- with your condition-do you think you have the energy to go to class- ', he said the words slowly, ' let's-- let me take you to the nurse office--'
'NO-', I rejected strongly.
if i will end up in the nurse office, then its me bringing myself there, not you.
'Why are you so---', He took a step moving closer to me. I could feel a hand lightly touching my hair ,' stubborn'.
I was dead tired, I no longer has any energy to climb one more step and just gripped the railings take all of my strength. The hand on my hair is not planning to remove itself. I don't have the energy to slapped it away or push this boy aside.
Just go away. I don't want anyone to see me like this. ---weak ....GO away nagisa.
My vision was getting blurry, I could no longer see my hands or my feet or the stairs, everything is a blur.
I look up and tried my best to glare at Nagisa, even though all I could see is the boy's hazy features.
' Nagisa-', I felt my gripped on the railings loosened, the last bit of my strength leaving me.
I tried to steady my gaze but the the ground felt like jelly, I swayed and I felt myself falling.
'Karma', I heard my name from a scream and saw from my hazy vision the boy rushing towards me.
I felt strong arms embracing me tightly, and I black out.
--------------------------
5:00 am Monday
~~ Nagisa POV~~
I heard the sound of my alarm.
I rolled on my bed 3 times before i shut off the alarm.
I got up on my bed, and sleepily head towards the bathroom, knocking on walls and walls on the way.
I turn off the shower and let myself splashed with cold water.
I shiver from the cold. I was awake now.
I hurried and adjusted the temperature.

when i was done taking a shower, I dried my hair and quickly change to my uniform.
I remembered that I was not schedule to pick up any girls at the station, at least Kayano forgot to assign me my next escort duties that right now, I'm completely free from looking after any girl species on the way to school.
What a load off my shoulder.
I grabbed my bag and went downstairs to eat breakfast.
I already prepared everything last night and store them in the refrigerator.
Since my mom started was transferred to another pharmaceutical branch at Hokkaido 3 month ago. I decided to stay in tokyo and since I had already started school and I was lucky to get inside Kunugigaoka High School, which was one of the hardest to get in, I don't want to retake another test just to get in on another school. and I heard the graduates in Kuniogaku has a vast amount of jop offers after graduating so i really don't want to lose this great opportunity.
So right now, I'm the only staying at our house.
Kayano tend to visit sometime, but since we already became high school students. Kayano decided that we are already man and woman, and a singly woman like her, spending a night at a man's house might be bad for any girlfriend-to-be background.
I snorted at the idea. Any guy who would end up dating Kayano, must be in a lot of hell.
Now after 3 months, the house has become my man cave. Although I don't think anything have change since my mother left. I always make sure the house is speck and spam and every corner glistens with cleanliness.
I used to do the labor physically but since my mother isn't her to see me, I can just do it with a flick of my finger. ehheeee. How i do it, is a secret!
After eating breakfast, I wash the dishes and packed my bento.
I prepared one packed for kayano. I swear that woman just leech off me, she always talk about how she's gonna be a great girlfriend and a great wife, but I swear that woman should learn how to cook to impress the male species. man are all about their appetite, we may look like a pervert staring at girls boobs and skirt all day, but the only thing that makes us running is a delicious homemade meal. I swear on it.
I check my time 5:30. I quickly lock the house and head to the station.
The thought of seeing the red hair delinquent without having any girl to escort today delighted me.
---------6:00 am Monday

I was seating at one of the benches waiting for the train to arrive.
I check the time and its already 6:00 am. the gate closes at 7:30.
I missed the train schedule for 6:00 am so i have to take the next one.
If I could just fly to school, it would be better but at broad daylight, I would look like an alien, scavenging the earth, during rush hour. Still the thought comforts me.
should write it down in my notebook before i decide to have any weird ideas.
I took out my handy dandy notebook, which i filled with almost everything I come to mind, including my interest and observation in regular basis.
When I look up, I could see a tuft of red hair, coming down the escalator and standing on the side of the train track.
'Karma-kun', I called his name. The boy didn't turn around so he must have not heard me.
I hurried closer before a crowd of people block my path.
I tap him lightly on the shoulder to get his attention.
' Nagisa-kun', he said my name as soon as he notice me.
I smiled cheerfully. great, he still remember my name.
I spend every free time i have trying to befriend him. It's great to know that he still remembers my name after all this time.
Now that's a great accomplishment.
' Karma-kun- I was calling your name a while ago, but since you didn't hear me, with all this crowd, I decided to come closer', I explained.
I'm so glad i did
'I see', was his reply. I just nodded. Happy for the recognition and glad that he didn't told me to go away.
now accomplishment # 2. What an awesome day.

When I discovered that Karma and I, take the same train in going to and fro from school, I was delighted. I always look for him, when I got to the train station early morning. When i have my escort duties, i picked the girls up at 5:30 am, making a rule that if they're not ready yet, i would leave them behind. Just so I could be early and spot Karma in the station.
Although I could only exchange greeting from him, mostly me greeting him and him ignoring me. I wasn't affected, karma is just so detach and guarded from everyone, that it takes hard work just to gain his trust. But I really want him to be my friend, so i didn't let his cold treatment, disappoint me.
Its hard to approache him sometimes, since Kayano never give me a free time during my escort duties, that woman is making money out of me. So whenever I try to approach karma, the girls would pull me back, they're to scared of him, to see Karma's strong points.
what are they?hmmmm
*he has natural red hair
* he's eyes are the color of amber and they're so beautiful i sometimes stare at them secretly.
* He's skin is so smooth, even amidst he's bruises, i know this cause i accidentally saw him changing in the bathroom instead of the boys locker room and happen to see him with all his glory- just him- topless.
* he's smart enough to ace an exam
* he's Karma- I wouldn't try this hard just to be friendly with a boy, Karma just intrigues me
When I glanced at him, His eyes met mine.
'I'm surprise to see you alone Nagisa-kun', I look at him, ' thought you were hanging out with your girlfriends'.
Girlfriends. I studied karma's expressionless face. Did he thought that all those girls were my girlfriends. I smiled at the thought.
Now that's funny. Those girls only treat me as one of their species and just use me to ward off the perverts in the train. I doubt they ever considered me as on of the boyfriend candidates.
'It's nice to see you too Karma-kun- did you wake up late too?', I asked cheerfully, changing the topic.
Of course i woke up early today, but I wouldn't let him know that I woke up early everyday just to see him at the station. he might think I'm gay.
The boy already had a misconception that I had a different girlfriend everyday. No need to worsen his impression on me.
Karma didn't respond to my question, but seeing his tired eyes, I could only guess that he hadn't have a good night sleep.
I just nodded.
The silence afterwards was awkward. I don't really have any topic to discuss with him. I mean, I finally got a minute long conversation with him, but that's just it. I don't really know anything about Karma or anything that he and I could be in common with so I just stood there completely at a loss.
When the rain arrived, I beamed.
Finally, we can now head to school and I could just create some random conversation about school. Genius.
I excitedly grabbed his right arm and try to dragged him inside the train.
When Karma shook my hand off.
I turned around and saw Karma winced as he guarded his right arm with his left.
Karma furrowed his brow and his expression is one of that in pain. I hesitated to touch him.
I mentally slapped myself. I'm an idiot. I forgot in all my excitement that karma is always injured, and I didn't expect that his bruises on his arms might not be healed yet or may have gotten a new one.
I curled my hand into a fist.
I should refrain from touchng him or else i would just make the situation worse---- then I---.
I notice that there are less people on the station. Most have gotten inside the train.
I hesitated to touch Karma, but he seemed set on not moving from his position. I had no choice.

I called his name gently.
I carefully extended my hand hoping that he would hold it, voluntarily.
' The door is about to close so-- if you don't want to wait for another train & be late for school, then come on', I told him.
I could feel karma reading my intentions, but I smiled, reassuring him.
I have to assure him that I have no other intentions aside from this.
After a while, when Karma didn't hold my hand & just continue staring at it.
I heard the sound to signal the door closing.
I frowned. What am I gonna do? Wait for Karma until he hold my hand or hopped in the train & leave him behind?
when I notice that Karma is out of it.
I quickly grabbed his hand & pulled him inside the train.
He just got in , when the door closes behind him.
He took a step back when he realized I got him inside the train.
but only hit his back at the door . There was no escape.
I smiled when I saw how cute Karma looked whe he's cheeks and ears are as red as his hair. He look like a ripe tomato.

When we were inside the Train, I didn't let go of his hand.
' Phew. A few minutes late and the door could have close before us', I exclaimed happily.
I noticed how hot Karma's hand is. I forgot all the excitement before and ask him seriously if he has a fever, as i brought he' hand closer to my cheeks.
My mother used to do this when I got sick when i was a kid.
Karma blush and quickly shook off my hand. He slipped his hands inside his jacket to make sure I wouldn't touch it.
'I'm not. Just the change of weather perhaps', I knew he was lying.I know what's a fever when I felt one.
I frowned. Trying to be friends with Karma is a lot more challenging than I thought it would be. I thought that greeting him in the subway on the way to school everytime, would make him notice me and eventually would treat me as a friend. but I guessed expectation is so much farther than reality.
I noticed that the train is about to pass the left curve, so I gripped the pole and prepared for the sudden jolt in the train.
I turn to check on Karma, when he loses his balance, I reflexively caught him by the waist and tighten my gripped on him. I noticed him winced so I loosened my hold on him, but I still took care to hold him steadier.
When the train is back on the the straight. I let go of him, and gave him an apologetic look.
I waited for karma to voice out his discomfort but he didn't say anything, like that time in the station.
When I caught him earlier I could feel his upper torso wrapped in bandages.
I was expecting him to have wounds, since the rumors say that he always got into fights everyday. But even though karma look so intimidating, I don't find him to be the type to allow himself to be treated as a punching bag in a fight. or does he have such intense life and death matches to get him such severe bruises everytime.
--------- 7:00 Monday
Karma looked alert when we neared the station. I look at the time and it was 7 sharp.
The gate closes after 30 minutes, so we have to hurry.
When the door opened, Karma bolted out of the train and headed to the school direction.
I quietly followed behind him.
After 20 minutes of running, we safely passed through the school gate.
The teacher gave us a stern look, but more on Karma's direction rather than at me. I slowed down and bowed politely, while I greeted him.
then I run to chase after Karma.
'Karma-kun--Wait', I called after him. But Karma didn't look back and just run towards the shoe locker.
---------------
On the way to school, I noticed Karma acting odd and was running much slower. If I use full force I could outrun him, but I was concerned since I was sure he is running a fever so i slowed my pace and trudge behind him.
The school wasn't a far dstance from the station, just a few walks away, but Karma look exhausted just by running and stop a few times on the way.
The cold weather wasn't helping at all. The cold wind would hit us a few times while running, and Karma would stop again to pull his jacke closer.
I already decided to pay close attention to Karma. I'm sure he's feeling dizzy and exhausted, and running like this would just make it worse. he's just too stubborn to admit it.
#3 Karma is too stubborn.
I mentally listed it so that i wouldn't forget it and jot it down my notes later. for now, let's just focus on karma.
--------------
When he was running towards the shoe locker, I use my full strength and boost myself to sped up and overtake Karma.
he stopped on his tracks and i gently place my hand on his cheeks.
I swear If i was bringing an egg right now, it would be cooked just by placing it on karma's cheeks.
'Karma- you can't go to class like this', i told him. He tried to slapped my hand but before he can do it, I release my hold on his cheeks and caught his hand.
Even his hand is as Hot as he's face. This is bad.
' You're running a high fever and going to class will just make it worse', karma by now was glaring at me. If looks could kill, then I bit he's expression now might be able to do it.
But seeing he's pale face, I didn't let that bother me.
'Leave me alone', Karma suddenly shouted angrily which surprised me, I felt him shoving me down and I quckly let go of his hand, so i won't dragged him along. I luckily landed on my butt which freakin' hurts
' Owww', I muttered, trying to get up against my aching butt.
I looked up and saw Karma already inside the entrance.
-----------------
I got up and dusted myself. then I run and followed after Karma.
When I reached the shoe locker, Karma was already gone, probably at the hallway right now.
I quickly changed to my indoor shoes, shove my outdoor shoes messily inside the locker and dash off to the hallway.
When I reach the hallway, I saw Karma as he was looking behind him. When he saw me, he dashed off and headed to the stairs.
I cursed mentally. Why the heck is he running away from me?
Why am I even running after him? I'm not this desperate trying to be his friend. But him running away , just makes me want to run after him. URGGGH!
Why the heck is he using the stairs, does he intend to go to class in his condition instead of heading to the nurse office.
the 1st year class is on the 3rd floor-- Don't tell me---
I followed after him up the stairs, for a sick person, he sure can climb 3 flight of stairs.
I stopped when I saw him leaning on the railings. His head hidden between his arms, as he gripped the railings tightly, making his knuckles pale- or was it already pale at the beginning.
-------
'karma-kun', I shout he's name .
' Stay away!', Karma shouted back , not looking up.
How are you feeling?
'Karma-kun-Stop right there', I commanded him. I slowly climb towards him.
What are you so afraid of?
' I said stay away Nagisa', He shouted angrily, dropping the -kun.
Why won't you let me help you?
I climb the stairs and passed by him, I stop after 2 steps and turned back to face him.
'Karma-kun- with your condition-do you think you have the energy to go to class- ', I said the words slowly, ' let's-- let me take you to the nurse office--'
'NO-', he rejected strongly,
'Why are you so---', I took a step, moving closer to him. I reach out and lightly touch his head ,' stubborn'.
This stubborn boy.
he look up and tried he's best to glare at me, I notice he's eyes getting unfocus.
' Nagisa-', I heard him whisper my name before he's gripped on the railings loosened. I reach out to hold his waist but missed it by an inch. karma was already falling down the stairs.
'Karma', I screamed his name and jump to to catch him.
I embrace him tightly and use my ability to land lightly on the floor.
I check Karma's condition and he has already lost consciousness.
I could feel his body burning with fever. I slipped my arms under his knees and carried him, bridal style.
It was scary how Karma feels so light in my arms, even though I use my ability to make him lighter. Just holding he's feverish body, as light as a feather, scared the hell of me.

Time check = 7:50 am Monday

-----------------

~Nagisa POV~

I was seating at one of the benches waiting for the train to arrive.
I check the time and its already 6:00 am. the gate closes at 7:30.
I missed the train schedule for 6:00 am so i have to take the next one.
If I could just fly to school, it would be better but at broad daylight, I would look like an alien, scavenging the earth, during rush hour. Still the thought comforts me.
should write it down in my notebook before i decide to have any weird ideas.
I took out my handy dandy notebook, which i filled with almost everything I come to mind, including my interest and observation in regular basis.
When I look up, I could see a tuft of red hair, coming down the escalator and standing on the side of the train track.
'Karma-kun', I called his name. The boy didn't turn around so he must have not heard me.
I hurried closer before a crowd of people block my path.
I tap him lightly on the shoulder to get his attention.
' Nagisa-kun', he said my name as soon as he notice me.
I smiled cheerfully. great, he still remember my name.
I spend every free time i have trying to befriend him. It's great to know that he still remembers my name after all this time.
Now that's a great accomplishment.
' Karma-kun- I was calling your name a while ago, but since you didn't hear me, with all this crowd, I decided to come closer', I explained.
I'm so glad i did
'I see', was his reply. I just nodded. Happy for the recognition and glad that he didn't told me to go away.
now accomplishment # 2. What an awesome day.

When I discovered that Karma and I, take the same train in going to and fro from school, I was delighted. I always look for him, when I got to the train station early morning. When i have my escort duties, i picked the girls up at 5:30 am, making a rule that if they're not ready yet, i would leave them behind. Just so I could be early and spot Karma in the station.
Although I could only exchange greeting from him, mostly me greeting him and him ignoring me. I wasn't affected, karma is just so detach and guarded from everyone, that it takes hard work just to gain his trust. But I really want him to be my friend, so i didn't let his cold treatment, disappoint me.
Its hard to approache him sometimes, since Kayano never give me a free time during my escort duties, that woman is making money out of me. So whenever I try to approach karma, the girls would pull me back, they're to scared of him, to see Karma's strong points.
what are they?hmmmm
*he has natural red hair
* he's eyes are the color of amber and they're so beautiful i sometimes stare at them secretly.
* He's skin is so smooth, even amidst he's bruises, i know this cause i accidentally saw him changing in the bathroom instead of the boys locker room and happen to see him with all his glory- just him- topless.
* he's smart enough to ace an exam
* he's Karma- I wouldn't try this hard just to be friendly with a boy, Karma just intrigues me
When I glanced at him, His eyes met mine.
'I'm surprise to see you alone Nagisa-kun', I look at him, ' thought you were hanging out with your girlfriends'.
Girlfriends. I studied karma's expressionless face. Did he thought that all those girls were my girlfriends. I smiled at the thought.
Now that's funny. Those girls only treat me as one of their species and just use me to ward off the perverts in the train. I doubt they ever considered me as on of the boyfriend candidates.
'It's nice to see you too Karma-kun- did you wake up late too?', I asked cheerfully, changing the topic.
Of course i woke up early today, but I wouldn't let him know that I woke up early everyday just to see him at the station. he might think I'm gay.
The boy already had a misconception that I had a different girlfriend everyday. No need to worsen his impression on me.
Karma didn't respond to my question, but seeing his tired eyes, I could only guess that he hadn't have a good night sleep.
I just nodded.
The silence afterwards was awkward. I don't really have any topic to discuss with him. I mean, I finally got a minute long conversation with him, but that's just it. I don't really know anything about Karma or anything that he and I could be in common with so I just stood there completely at a loss.
When the rain arrived, I beamed.
Finally, we can now head to school and I could just create some random conversation about school. Genius.
I excitedly grabbed his right arm and try to dragged him inside the train.
When Karma shook my hand off.
I turned around and saw Karma winced as he guarded his right arm with his left.
Karma furrowed his brow and his expression is one of that in pain. I hesitated to touch him.
I mentally slapped myself. I'm an idiot. I forgot in all my excitement that karma is always injured, and I didn't expect that his bruises on his arms might not be healed yet or may have gotten a new one.
I curled my hand into a fist.
I should refrain from touchng him or else i would just make the situation worse---- then I---.
I notice that there are less people on the station. Most have gotten inside the train.
I hesitated to touch Karma, but he seemed set on not moving from his position. I had no choice.

I called his name gently.
I carefully extended my hand hoping that he would hold it, voluntarily.
' The door is about to close so-- if you don't want to wait for another train & be late for school, then come on', I told him.
I could feel karma reading my intentions, but I smiled, reassuring him.
I have to assure him that I have no other intentions aside from this.
After a while, when Karma didn't hold my hand & just continue staring at it.
I heard the sound to signal the door closing.
I frowned. What am I gonna do? Wait for Karma until he hold my hand or hopped in the train & leave him behind?
when I notice that Karma is out of it.
I quickly grabbed his hand & pulled him inside the train.
He just got in , when the door closes behind him.
He took a step back when he realized I got him inside the train.
but only hit his back at the door . There was no escape.
I smiled when I saw how cute Karma looked whe he's cheeks and ears are as red as his hair. He look like a ripe tomato.

When we were inside the Train, I didn't let go of his hand.
' Phew. A few minutes late and the door could have close before us', I exclaimed happily.
I noticed how hot Karma's hand is. I forgot all the excitement before and ask him seriously if he has a fever, as i brought he' hand closer to my cheeks.
My mother used to do this when I got sick when i was a kid.
Karma blush and quickly shook off my hand. He slipped his hands inside his jacket to make sure I wouldn't touch it.
'I'm not. Just the change of weather perhaps', I knew he was lying.I know what's a fever when I felt one.
I frowned. Trying to be friends with Karma is a lot more challenging than I thought it would be. I thought that greeting him in the subway on the way to school everytime, would make him notice me and eventually would treat me as a friend. but I guessed expectation is so much farther than reality.
I noticed that the train is about to pass the left curve, so I gripped the pole and prepared for the sudden jolt in the train.
I turn to check on Karma, when he loses his balance, I reflexively caught him by the waist and tighten my gripped on him. I noticed him winced so I loosened my hold on him, but I still took care to hold him steadier.
When the train is back on the the straight. I let go of him, and gave him an apologetic look.
I waited for karma to voice out his discomfort but he didn't say anything, like that time in the station.
When I caught him earlier I could feel his upper torso wrapped in bandages.
I was expecting him to have wounds, since the rumors say that he always got into fights everyday. But even though karma look so intimidating, I don't find him to be the type to allow himself to be treated as a punching bag in a fight. or does he have such intense life and death matches to get him such severe bruises everytime.
--------- 7:00 Monday
Karma looked alert when we neared the station. I look at the time and it was 7 sharp.
The gate closes after 30 minutes, so we have to hurry.
When the door opened, Karma bolted out of the train and headed to the school direction.
I quietly followed behind him.
After 20 minutes of running, we safely passed through the school gate.
The teacher gave us a stern look, but more on Karma's direction rather than at me. I slowed down and bowed politely, while I greeted him.
then I run to chase after Karma.
'Karma-kun--Wait', I called after him. But Karma didn't look back and just run towards the shoe locker.
---------------
On the way to school, I noticed Karma acting odd and was running much slower. If I use full force I could outrun him, but I was concerned since I was sure he is running a fever so i slowed my pace and trudge behind him.
The school wasn't a far dstance from the station, just a few walks away, but Karma look exhausted just by running and stop a few times on the way.
The cold weather wasn't helping at all. The cold wind would hit us a few times while running, and Karma would stop again to pull his jacke closer.
I already decided to pay close attention to Karma. I'm sure he's feeling dizzy and exhausted, and running like this would just make it worse. he's just too stubborn to admit it.
#3 Karma is too stubborn.
I mentally listed it so that i wouldn't forget it and jot it down my notes later. for now, let's just focus on karma.
--------------
When he was running towards the shoe locker, I use my full strength and boost myself to sped up and overtake Karma.
he stopped on his tracks and i gently place my hand on his cheeks.
I swear If i was bringing an egg right now, it would be cooked just by placing it on karma's cheeks.
'Karma- you can't go to class like this', i told him. He tried to slapped my hand but before he can do it, I release my hold on his cheeks and caught his hand.
Even his hand is as Hot as he's face. This is bad.
' You're running a high fever and going to class will just make it worse', karma by now was glaring at me. If looks could kill, then I bit he's expression now might be able to do it.
But seeing he's pale face, I didn't let that bother me.
'Leave me alone', Karma suddenly shouted angrily which surprised me, I felt him shoving me down and I quckly let go of his hand, so i won't dragged him along. I luckily landed on my butt which freakin' hurts
' Owww', I muttered, trying to get up against my aching butt.
I looked up and saw Karma already inside the entrance.
-----------------
I got up and dusted myself. then I run and followed after Karma.
When I reached the shoe locker, Karma was already gone, probably at the hallway right now.
I quickly changed to my indoor shoes, shove my outdoor shoes messily inside the locker and dash off to the hallway.
When I reach the hallway, I saw Karma as he was looking behind him. When he saw me, he dashed off and headed to the stairs.
I cursed mentally. Why the heck is he running away from me?
Why am I even running after him? I'm not this desperate trying to be his friend. But him running away , just makes me want to run after him. URGGGH!
Why the heck is he using the stairs, does he intend to go to class in his condition instead of heading to the nurse office.
the 1st year class is on the 3rd floor-- Don't tell me---
I followed after him up the stairs, for a sick person, he sure can climb 3 flight of stairs.
I stopped when I saw him leaning on the railings. His head hidden between his arms, as he gripped the railings tightly, making his knuckles pale- or was it already pale at the beginning.
-------
'karma-kun', I shout he's name .
' Stay away!', Karma shouted back , not looking up.
How are you feeling?
'Karma-kun-Stop right there', I commanded him. I slowly climb towards him.
What are you so afraid of?
' I said stay away Nagisa', He shouted angrily, dropping the -kun.
Why won't you let me help you?
I climb the stairs and passed by him, I stop after 2 steps and turned back to face him.
'Karma-kun- with your condition-do you think you have the energy to go to class- ', I said the words slowly, ' let's-- let me take you to the nurse office--'
'NO-', he rejected strongly,
'Why are you so---', I took a step, moving closer to him. I reach out and lightly touch his head ,' stubborn'.
This stubborn boy.
he look up and tried he's best to glare at me, I notice he's eyes getting unfocus.
' Nagisa-', I heard him whisper my name before he's gripped on the railings loosened. I reach out to hold his waist but missed it by an inch. karma was already falling down the stairs.
'Karma', I screamed his name and jump to to catch him.
I embrace him tightly and use my ability to land lightly on the floor.
I check Karma's condition and he has already lost consciousness.
I could feel his body burning with fever. I slipped my arms under his knees and carried him, bridal style.
It was scary how Karma feels so light in my arms, even though I use my ability to make him lighter. Just holding he's feverish body, as light as a feather, scared the hell of me.

Chapter Text

Intro:
Karma~

Everyone tries to win my favor. They all assume that because of my background. I always get into fights.
I acted the part. I look the part. So that no one will know.
Noone will discover my secret.
Until you came along and look at me differently.
I thought I finally found someone. Someone to- Love--me.
-----
I don't know when it started. I have no idea how to repress it.
All I know is-- All I can think about--
Nagisa --its you.
Can you stay by my side?

Nagisa~
I hated how I look.
Looking neither a man or a woman but both.
I despise this androgynity that I possess.
I hated the way men look at me, and I felt disgusted when the girls treat me just like they're own species.
But there's a certain someone I can't take my eyes off.
He shows off an air of superiority, and walk around the hall as if he owns it, even against all the bruises and bandages around his body.
He look so strong but I don't want to touch him, or he might break