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Stiles Stilinski, Boyfriend Extraordinaire

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As strange as it sounds, Stiles hadn’t really given much thought to what Derek Hale looked like.

He had heard ‘boyfriend’ and began his rapid, chaotic descent into freaking out about how to impress the Hales, and it never even crossed what this boyfriend would even look like.

But even if he did try to imagine him, there’s no way that Stiles would have even come close to the slice of physical perfection that walked through that front door.

‘Gorgeous’ was not descriptive enough to describe Derek Hale.

Derek was the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. He had sculpted cheekbones which led to a chiseled jawline and a well taken care of beard that just begged you to sit on his face. Behind his thick-framed black glasses, Derek had piercing green eyes and the most luscious pair of eyebrows Stiles had ever seen.

He didn’t even know eyebrows could be luscious!

Derek was only a few inches taller than Stiles and he walked with a cane, favoring his left leg a little as he moved. He wore gray slacks, and a white button down shirt beneath a burgundy cardigan that complimented his skin tone perfectly His first few shirt buttons were undone, and Stiles could see the faint curls of chest hair peeking out from under his shirt.

Who even is Derek Hale?!

Derek Hale was like a real life version of every single cover of every single smutty romance novel come to life. Or some kind of Porno Disney Prince sent to make everyone’s erotic fantasies become a reality.

Stiles hadn’t needed to put this much effort into not popping a random boner since high school.

It wasn’t until Stiles had taken in all the physical perfection that was Derek Hale, that he realized he was still wearing the cartoon-bikini apron that he had put on earlier. He ripped the apron off of his body ungracefully and tossed it onto the couch behind him.

Laura and Talia untangled themselves from Derek and stood back to let him properly step inside of the house. Derek moved into the room and shut the door behind him, eyes never leaving Stiles’. He picked up his bag from the floor and carried it into the room and set it on a chair.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked finally dragging his eyes away from Stiles to look at his mother and sister.

Laura was the first one to start talking. “Our flight got rescheduled to tomorrow, so we thought we’d surprise you.” She looked back to Stiles, “We ran into Stiles in the grocery store and convinced him to help us surprise you!”

She was so wrapped up in her excited retelling of the day’s events that she didn’t notice that all of the color had drained from Derek’s face.

He looked like he wanted to scream.

Or cry.

Or throw up.

Or some combination of the three.

“Oh my god.” Derek repeated. His panic filled gaze landed on Stiles a second time. Stiles gave a nervous wave.

“Welcome home….dear.” he offered weakly.

Talia laughed and looked back at Stiles “Derek, you never told us your boyfriend was such a cutie!”

“Oh my god!” Derek was raising his voice, his voice taking on a frantic edge.

“Uh, I’m going to go check on the dessert. Excuse me.” Stiles grabbed the apron from the couch and backed out of the living room, hurriedly making his way to the kitchen.

Behind him he heard the voices of Talia and Laura as they recapped their day more thoroughly from start to finish.

Stiles went back to his deep breathing exercises while folding up the apron and tucking it back inside the drawer.

My boyfriend is a Greek statue who came to life and then got lost in a GQ photoshoot on his way home.

Stiles ran his hand through his hair nervously. He bent to peek at his reflection in the microwave door, trying to tame it from all the abuse it has suffered in the last few hours.

He didn’t think he looked too bad. Although standing next to Porno Disney Prince, by comparison he couldn’t possibly look that great either. But, you know, he looked pretty alright.

Pretty alright?

This evening was going to hell in a handbasket.

After a few moments, he heard Derek excuse himself from his mother and his sister and make his way into the kitchen. Stiles could hear his footsteps and the tap of his cane on the wooden floor as he came closer to the kitchen.

“Let me just say hello to Stiles really quick and I’ll be there in a minute! You guys go ahead and sit down.” he shouted over his shoulder.

Stiles looked up from where he was standing, wringing his hands nervously, and was met with a very mortified Derek Hale standing there biting his lip.

Derek opened his mouth before closing it again and shaking his head, exhaling in defeat.

“I’m so embarrassed.” He said exasperatedly, furrowing his eyebrows. He looked up at Stiles. “I am so sorry.”

That was not exactly what Stiles had expected. For Mr. Hottest Mother Fucker In America And Possibly The Western Hemisphere to apologize to him. The guy who had just broken into his house. Derek was worried about Stiles’ feelings?

No. Just, no. How was this even fair?

“Really, you don’t have to apologize.” Stiles said waving his hand to cut Derek off. He actually managed to sound much more laid back than he actually felt inside.

“I don’t even know where to begin to explain.” Derek shook his head and cringed. “You must think-”

“Hey,” Stiles interrupted, moving forward to place his hand gently on Derek’s arm. “Look, we’ve got guests to entertain tonight, huh? We can talk about it later. So for now, let’s pull ourselves together and go out there and fake the best damn relationship that anyone has ever seen, huh?”

Stiles smiled what he hoped was his most winning smile, and Derek immediately relaxed returning a smile of his own.

Derek nodded to himself, and took a breath to center himself. “You’re right.”

Stiles turned around and grabbed the large serving spoon that was on the counter.

“Here, carry this,” Stiles handed the spoon and grabbed a four wine glasses from the cupboard. “Our dinner is getting cold.”

They walked into the dining room, where Laura and Talia smiled at the two of them. Derek and Stiles looked at each other one more time, before heading to the table.

“Phase Three: Wow the fuck out of Derek’s Family” He said under his breath. Then, turning on a winning smile, he began serving food while Derek poured them each a glass of wine.

 

Dinner went fantastically.

Stiles was funny. Like, funnier than usual.

He told anecdotes from work and recounted adolescent shenanigans that he and Scott got tangled up in during high school. Laura and Talia laughed along and offered up more stories about Derek in his youth, much to Derek’s displeasure, and overall everyone seemed to enjoy the light-hearted cheerful atmosphere.

The weirdness of this entire situation magically seemed to dissolve immediately, and Stiles went from being paranoid about being convincing, to actually managing to have a great time.

Stiles knew there wasn’t an award ceremony for this kind of thing. But if there was, he’d definitely go home with the Most Convincing Fake Boyfriend of the Year award.

Stiles kept his arm loosely draped around the back of Derek’s chair while they ate, reaching his hand up every now and then to play with the hair at the base of his neck. He made up romantic little anecdotes about the beginning stages of their relationship and waxed poetic about how special Derek was, earning blushes from Derek, and “aww!’s and “so cute!”s from Laura and Talia.

He used enough pet names to be endearing, but no too many to be nauseating. He touched Derek just enough to insinuate he couldn’t get enough, but no so much that it looked vulgar.

Stiles was rocking this boyfriend thing.

He’d never really done undercover work as a deputy, but he thought this might be the experience that has him taking up any offers that might come his way. Not that they really got many that required him to be a boyfriend.

But, you know. If they did. Stiles would rock that shit.

 

They finished eating dinner and Talia and Laura offered to do dishes since Stiles made all the food and Derek was probably tired from work.

Talia pulled Laura into the kitchen with a wink in Stiles’ direction, and it was then that he realized that she was trying to give them some alone time.

Alone Time.

Derek, who hadn’t missed the wink, stood up smiled awkwardly at Talia.

“Mom, if you’ll excuse us, I just want to talk to Stiles really fast in my room?”

“Sure honey,” She smiled mischievously while Laura pulled a horrified face.

Stiles set his napkin on the table and stood up from his seat. Derek tilted his head in the direction of his room, and Stiles followed Derek out of the room.

They walked down the hallway into his bedroom – Dear God he hoped this would not be the last time he took this trip—and Derek shut the door behind him. The tenseness from Derek’s shoulders returned, and he looked nervous.

“I think I owe you an explanation.”

Stiles sat down on the edge of the bed—which of course was fluffy and comfortable and perfect-- and waited for Derek to speak.

Derek reached up to scratch the back of his neck while the hand on his cane clinched and unclenched in obvious nervousness. Stiles could practically see Derek’s thoughts racing and he wanted to take some of the pressure off the situation.

“Look dude, no matter what it is you have to say, just keep in mind that I’m the one who broke into your house and made your sister and mom dinner. So no matter how awkward you feel, just imagine how I feel right now.”

Derek chuckled, his eyes crinkling as he smiled.

After a few more seconds, Stiles decided to help him out a little.

“So, uh, not that this evening hasn’t been wonderful so far, but… why does your family think we’re dating?”

Derek let out resigned—and thoroughly embarrassed—breath, and moved toward the bed to sit next to Stiles. (Stiles almost started crying at how glorious his cologne smelled.) Derek rested his cane against the side of the bed, and massaged his knee a bit.

“Well, it all started earlier this year.” He finally began, folding his hands and resting them on his lap. “I’m a professor at Cal State, and after last fall semester, I went on sabbatical so that I could finish a book I’m writing. Since I had more free time, I picked up a few more shifts volunteering with the fire department.”

Stiles nodded to show that he was listening.

“There was a call to the kids home, and it was pretty bad.” He let out a breath. “Most of the kids had made it out safely, but there was a little boy on one of the floors that no one could find. He’s hearing impaired, and even though we were calling his name as loudly as we could, he wasn’t able to hear us.”

Derek paused his hands wringing his lap. Stiles reached down and softly put his hand over Derek’s, cupping them supportively. Derek looked up at Stiles briefly and gave him a shy, thankful smile.

“My commander told us that the floors were no longer secure, and we were ordered to stay out, but I just couldn’t let—” he paused, shaking his head and looking down. “I went back in. Against orders. And by sheer chance, I came across the little guy on the third floor, and had just enough time to grab him and turn back and make my way out. The second floor collapsed as I was on the stairs, and I got trapped beneath a beam.”

He cleared his throat for a moment.

“Others could see us from in front of the house, and they came in to grab the boy and help free me. I was taken to the hospital in pretty bad condition. Alive, but in pretty rough shape.”

Derek slid his hand down to his left knee.

“I was in the hospital for weeks. Between the knee, which needed several surgeries, and severe smoke inhalation, I was in kind of a dark place.”

Stiles heart ached for Derek, who had suffered through not just one, but two traumatic fire-related incidents in his life.

“Because I disobeyed direct orders by my superior, I was let go from the volunteer fire group.” He shrugged softly. “I absolutely understand the reason. I could have been killed, and they can’t have people disobeying orders in times of crisis like that. I don’t have any hard feelings toward them, and the guys and I still talk. But, y’know.”

“It still stings.” Stiles said softly.

Derek nodded. “Yeah.”

Derek looked up at Stiles again. The room was dim, the last rays of the descending sun spilling through the blinds, and the soft quiet of a summer afternoon drenched the room in a silent intimacy.

In the distance, Stiles could hear Talia and Laura in the kitchen, and the sounds of a jingly collar and the pitter-patter of little cat feet playing around with something in the hallway, but Stiles felt as though he and Derek were the only one in the entire house.

It was nice, and it felt magical in a way that Stiles hadn’t experienced before with someone else.

Derek blushed and bit his lip, continuing with his explanation.

“Anyway, I spent a lot of time in the hospital feeling sorry for myself. My family lives mostly on the east coast and I didn’t get many visitors. But every day without fail, I did get one visitor.” He looked up at Stiles again. “Sheriff Stilinski.”

“My dad?” he asked incredulously.

Derek nodded, smiling to himself.

“I couldn’t really talk the first week that I was there because of the sore throat from the smoke inhalation, but your dad came just to keep me company. He would sit by my bed and talk and talk and talk, for hours. Making sure I wasn’t alone, making sure that I knew that someone was there for me.”

Stiles thought back, and he could remember his dad mentioning he had somewhere to be after his shifts, but Stiles always assumed it was to spend time with Melissa.

“He said he heard the story of what I’d done from one of the EMTs, and that he was very proud of the bravery I’d shown.” Derek shook his head and looked back at Stiles. “ I don’t know if you remember, but several years ago there was at the wolf sanctuary?”

Stiles nodded. “I remember.”

“Your dad drove me to the station and waited with me until my parents got there.” Derek shook his head, recalling the obviously upsetting memory. “My uncle was livid with me, understandably. The people who I thought were my friends had all abandoned me the second that things got really scary, and…” He trailed off.

“I know that the fire was practically my fault anyway since I’m the one who told them how to get into the sanctuary in the first place, but I was just so scared and sick with all of the ‘what-ifs’ and your dad stayed with me the whole time and made sure I didn’t have to be alone.”

That’s one of the reasons Stiles loved his father so much. There is just something about the man that oozes understanding and support and You’re Not Alone. In that moment, Stiles was so proud of his father for being who he was and for being with Derek for two horrible moments in his life.

“It meant a lot that he sat with me in the hospital too, and here he was telling me how proud of me he was. And it just--” Derek shrugged and smiled a small, shy smile. “It just felt good to hear it from him.”

Stiles hummed in confirmation.

“Anyway, after a day or so, he ran out of things to say,” Derek smiled. Stiles laughed, because, yeah, that sounded exactly like his dad too.

Stiles’ dad was a man of few interests, and a running joke in the Stilinski-McCall household was that Stiles did not inherit his loquaciousness from his dad’s side of the family.

“I guess he doesn’t really have that much time to gather stories to tell bedridden ex-volunteer fire fighters, so he told me about you.”

“Oh god.” Stiles cringed. Derek chuckled.

“He talked about you growing up, about some of the weird trouble you got into in high school, all the situations that nearly got him in trouble. He told me about some of the weird papers you’d write for a class.”

Stiles wanted to die. He half wondered if he could sneak out of the window while Derek was talking and drive off into the night, never to be seen again.

“But mostly he just told me about how proud he was of you for the man you’d become, and how brave you were, and how much he loved you.”

“Dad!” Stiles whined, burying his face in his hands.

“You sounded really interesting!” Derek laughed, bumping his shoulder against Stiles,’ “And I always thought it’d be nice to meet you. And your dad mentioned that you were gay,”

“This is it,” Stiles said from in between his palms. “This is how I die. I can feel it.”

Derek tilted his head back and laughed loudly.

“For a while my family had been pestering me about my dating life, and I mentioned that I was seeing someone just to get them out of my hair. One night, while I was on the phone with mom, I was looking through the paper and I saw your picture for that guy you caught.” Derek blushed again and brought a hand up to adjust his glasses. “I mentioned that I was dating someone, thank you very much, and I had to go because we were going out to dinner to celebrate your closing a huge case and making it on the front page of The Beacon.”

“I take it they looked me up?” Stiles sat back up and glanced at Derek, raising an eyebrow.

Derek smiled embarrassedly, his eyebrows rising in defense, “I didn’t think she’d actually look you up!”

“Your boyfriend is a hero of the community; of course she looked me up!” He blurted dramatically. “I’m fascinating!”

Derek laughed again, and Stiles was beginning to think that that sound was the thing that hopes and dreams were made of.

“Thank you for what you did out there.” Derek said, tilting his head in the direction of the kitchen.

Stiles winked at him, enjoying the way the tips of Derek’s ears reddened bashfully.

“Of course, man. I wouldn’t leave you hanging.”

This whole evening was a complete fluke, a complete statistical improbability, and such a giant fucking coincidence and Stiles wasn’t really the type to believe in destiny or the universe intervening, but….c’mon!

There was no way he could leave here tonight and not see where this thing went. There were some serious vibes going on between them. Plus, Derek’s family loved him too!

 

Eventually they made their way out of the bedroom and joined Derek’s mom and sister.

They all sat on the back porch chatting, and Derek served them homemade ice cream (who the hell even makes homemade ice cream? Seriously, Derek, you’re putting the rest of us to shame!) and before Stiles knew it, it was almost 9:30.

“I should probably head out,” he said rising from the deck chair, holding his empty ice cream bowl in his hands.

Talia looked down at her watch. Derek looked briefly at Stiles and Stiles could have sworn that he looked disappointed.

“Sorry we interrupted your evening,” Laura said, eyeing the two apologetically.

“No, it’s no problem!” Stiles smiled, “It was really great to meet you two.”

With one last bit of courage left over from an afternoon of bad decisions, Stiles used his last bit of bravery to look at Derek and ask: “Besides, if you’re not doing anything Saturday night, darling, maybe you’d like to get dinner. You know, for date night.”

Derek blushed so prettily and bit his lip. “Yeah.” He swallowed thickly. “Dinner would be great.”

“Awesome.” Stiles smiled so wide he thought he was going to strain a muscle. “It’s a date.” He winked.

“It was wonderful meeting you, Stiles sweetheart.” Talia rose from her chair and wrapped Stiles in a warm hug.

“Yeah!” Laura said, leaning around her mom to smile at Stiles. “Welcome to the family.”

“Take care of our Derek.” Talia said, leaning in to place a kiss on Stiles’ forehead.

“Mom!” Derek let out a pained groan of embarrassment.

“I expect to see you at Christmas this year!” Laura said to Stiles, but she gave Derek a pointed look afterward.

Stiles laughed. “We’ll see.” He untangled himself from Talia. “You know how things at the station are. There’s no guarantee I’ll be able to get the time off.”

 

Stiles was finally able to make his exit, and head toward the front door.

Derek excused himself from his mom and sister, and walked Stiles out front to his car.

Stiles unlocked the cruiser, but just juggled his keys in his hand before he turned back to face Derek.

Derek smiled at him, his eyes darting down to Stiles’ lips momentarily. “Stiles, thank you again for all that you did earlier.” In the stillness of the night, Derek’s voice felt much more private and sensual, and it was giving Stiles some seriously dirty thoughts.

“Derek, I meant it when I said it was no big deal.” Stiles reached out and took Derek’s free hand in his. “I also meant it when I asked you out. Just to be clear.”

Derek chuckled softly, a blush rising to his cheeks. “And I was serious when I said yes. Just to be clear.”

“And, hey, bonus; we won’t have the whole meeting the parent’s thing hanging over our heads!” Stiles shook his fists in a fake cheer, “Yipee!”

Derek’s eyes lit up as he laughed. “I guess we won’t.”

Stiles shoved his keys in his pocket and stepped forward so that he could take Derek’s face in his hands. Derek stilled, and his eyes darted down to Stiles’ lips again. He leaned in toward Stiles, closing a little more of the gap between them.

“Can I kiss you?” Stiles’ voice was barely above a whisper, but in the stillness of the night, Derek was able to hear him perfectly.

“Yes.” Derek breathed in a whisper of his own. He licked his bottom lip and gently leaned in the rest of the way toward Stiles.

And. This. This was Stiles’ favorite part about the whole day.

Hell, it was his favorite part about his entire year.

They continued kissing for a few minutes before behind them they heard,

“Oh shit, mom, they’re going at it in the front yard!”

followed by,

“Laura! Give them some privacy!”

Derek and Stiles broke apart, Stiles laughing, Derek sighing in exasperation and flipping the bird to the general direction of the house.

They moved away from each other and Stiles pulled his keys back out of his pocket.

“See you this weekend Derek.” Stiles smiled, getting in the cruiser. “Pick you up at seven?”

Derek nodded, smiling brightly. “Seven is perfect.”

Stiles started the cruiser and backed out of Derek Hales driveway, and off into the night.

 

And yeah, it was official.

 

Stiles Stilinski was the boyfriend extraordinaire.

 

 

-fin-

 

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