Chapter 1: What Do You Say
Stanley Hopkins didn’t really understand why he would want to go a summer camp, but Sherlock offered to pay and it was somewhere he could go instead of Seattle. Summer housing didn’t exactly pan out completely, but by the time he came back, he could move back to SACU and go back to Sherlock and Langdale and everyone. Plus, it would give him a chance to meet a few other queer kids and maybe help those who were like him.
He spent the bus ride up to Stone Mountain quietly deducing what he could about the campers around him in his notebook. When the bus stopped at the Atlanta airport, Stanley couldn’t see much but he did hear a voice from the front, even over his headphones.
“What’s good, southern people?!” Stanley rolled his eyes at the voice, which immediately started a singalong of freaking Lion King. Luckily there was only another half hour left on the ride. The bus pulled up and Stanley was the last off, ensuring he could get his bag with no hassle.
The camp actually was pretty great for Stanley. Everyone there was really accepting and didn’t mind if something was too much. He should have packed more bugspray though. About a week in, he established a routine. He spent most of his days writing in his notebook by the lake, watching people and talking to those who came up to him.
“Sebastian! Seeeaaaa-bassss!” a camper yelled towards him.
oh no, Stanley thought, another one.
He put his pen down.
“No I’m not Sebastian, my name is Stanley Hopkins! Hi!” He waved. The camper turned away. People still kept referring to him as Sebastian. He could deduce that there was someone who looked vaguely similar to him, that was simple, but he could never seem to find the person.
Until a pair of Chucks appeared in the grass next to him.
“Wait, you go SACU?” It was that voice again. Stanley looked up, squinting in the sunshine. The silhouette gasped. “So you’re the person that stole my fucking face! It’s mine!” It wasn’t until the person who Stanley inferred was Sebastian sat down next to him that he saw the resemblance. Sure enough, it was looking into a mirror. A very smiley, very loud mirror. It was eerie. Stanley didn’t know what to do.
“Um…I’m sorry…I’m Stanley Hopkins.”
Sebastian laughed. “Sebastian Messing. But gathering from what people have told me, you know that already.”
“Well, yeah, I didn’t mind, really. It’s an honest mistake. It’s a relief to see you really, I was afraid this infamous ‘Sebastian’ didn’t even exist”
“Well he does, so you can rest assured.”
“Oh, you use he/him pronouns? Me too! Wow it’s like we’re twins!” He looked at Sebastian closer. The resemblance was almost perfect. If Stanley had actually gotten a haircut when Wendy said he should, they would be identical.
Sebastian leaned back on his hands. "You're half right. I'm a twin, but I highly doubt you are as well. My twin sister’s home for the summer back with my moms in California.”
“You live in California! How cool! I live in Doyle, south of here.”
“I know. I asked you if you went to SACU.” Sebastian gestured to Stanley’s class t-shirt.
“Oh. yeah. I’ll be a sophomore in the fall.”
“My boyfriend is there! He’s on the swim team. Looks like Adonis and Prince Eric had a beautiful child.”
“SACU has a swim team? huh.” “Well, he’s there for summer training with the team. Not much of a jock?” Sebastian nodded at the notebook.
“Definitely not. I’m a criminology major! I like deducing.”
Sebastian blinked. “hm…what?”
Stanley turned to face him. “It's like, figuring out stuff about people. I’ve only been training for a semester but I think, and I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure you play football. Cornerback.”
Sebastian’s eyes grew wide. “What the fuck, dude?! How did you know that?”
Stanley looked back at his notebook. “you’ve got a tanline on your arms, but it’s not at normal t-shirt sleeve length, it’s longer, and like, blurrier, right? So that meant something looser and with longer sleeves. Like a football jersey.”
“But wait…how did you know I was a fucking cornerback?”
“oh oh oh so so Sherlock taught me all about football when we went to a SACU game! So, well, you look like, well, me, so that’s most of the positions out. Your arms are equally defined…”
“You mean Phineas and Ferb?” He flexed and kissed his biceps.
“Really? Phineas and…anyways, that means that you aren’t specialized in throwing, so it had to be something on a special team. I’m pretty fast, so I deduced you would be as well, and that means corner!”
“Dude. That’s like…fucking scary. But cool.”
“Oh. um. Thanks.” Stanley kinda regret going full deductive, but it wasn’t something he could help. He wished he could text Sherlock that he guessed right, and also to ask about the chances of doppelgangers, but alas, there was no wifi.
Stanley did like camp, he really did, but he was having trouble making friends. On one Wednesday, he was writing a letter to Langdale in his notebook during dinner and some campers bumped into him purposefully, causing his pen to drag a line straight up, through the page of hastily written words. Stanley didn’t make a sound, but the others (perpetrators, Stanley thought) laughed loud enough for Sebastian to pop his head up from another table. He marched right up to the table, raising his voice.
“REALLY? You want to mess with him? FIRST YOU GOTTA MESS WITH THE MESSING. AND I’M THE EVIL TWIN.” The campers dispersed within seconds and the laughter ceased. Seb sat next to Stanley.
“Dude, you okay?”
“Yeah…uh…how did you know how to do that?”
“Oh Viola and I had a system when were little. We looked out for each other. You didn’t have any siblings?”
Stanley shook his head. “I do but…they...I didn’t really have much of a home at all”
Sebastian scrunched up his nose. “Sorry, man. That fucking sucks.”
“It’s fine, I got a really great group of friends at college now.”
They talked until long after dinner. Sebastian told Stanley all about the fucked up system at West Balk and Viola and the moms, and Stanley told Sebastian all about Sherlock. Like, all about Sherlock. And some things about Jamie, Violet, Langdale, Wendy and everything else.
It was about ten o’clock by the time the conversation moved away from Sherlock and co. Stanley was talking about how he was at camp to avoid going back to Seattle.
“Wait…if you go to such a great school in California, why are you here?”, he asked Sebastian.
“Oh, somebody saw my vlogs and offered me a Queer Media scholarship here. Pretty neat, huh? I do miss home, though. And Tony. Mostly home.”
Stanley wondered what it would be like to miss a family home. Then he had a crazy idea that he couldn’t get out of his mouth quick enough.
“Dude but okay what if we traded places for the rest of the summer okay I could meet Viola and actual have a good family summer and you could see your boyfriend again and could meet Sherlock! and everything else oh my god you’d love it!!!!”
Sebastian sat for three seconds, trying to find a flaw in Stanley’s plan. Disguises hadn’t exactly turned out so smoothly in Sebastian’s past, needless to say. He grinned. “DUDE THIS COULD LIKE, ACTUALLY FUCKING WORK! OH MY GOD STANLEY YOU TERRIFYING GENIUS.”
The rest of camp was a serious study session for the lookalikes. They were eventually referred to by the other campers as a collective, either as “Sebastan” or “Sebastian Stan” (usually by the nerdier campers). Seb gave Stanley a floor plan of the Messing house, told him about the dogs (Puck and Bottom), and Viola and his secret handshake. Stanley told Sebastian about SACU and how to get from his room to Sherlock’s apartment. They swapped bags, and Stanley had to teach Seb how to wear his necklaces. Stanley wrote a letter to Langdale telling him the whole situation, and promising to video chat as soon as he got to California. Sebastian took Stanley’s phone and put his number in with the football emoji as the contact name. Stanley’s was logged into Seb’s phone as “Bruce Wayne.”
The boys spent the bus ride going through their index cards of inside jokes. When the bus pulled up into Hartsfield-Jackson, Sebastian punched Stanley in the arm. “Go get em, bro. Tell the moms and Vi that I love them. Well…don’t…Not yet. Well, do, but as you. me. You know what I mean.”
Stanley laughed. “Do the same to Sherlock and the gang. And try not to break my camera!”
Sebastian spent the rest of the ride texting Anthony the plan, with lots of capital letters and emoji and exclamation points. He was a bit nervous of getting caught, but the promise of seeing Anthony (and Anthony’s abs) again in person was worth it. Pulling up to SACU late at night, Seb referred to the map Stanley made for him, looking for the apartment. After a few screwups, he found Baker Dorm. Knocking on the door, he got into character. Giant grin, camera held tight.
“Well hello, Sebastian.”
Sebastian lowered his voice to a whisper.
“Wait…how do you know?”
Sherlock grabbed her Coke and took a seat on the couch. “Because I set it up, of course,” she said nonchalantly.
“You fucking did what?” Sebastian half whispered, half hissed.
“No need to whisper,” Sherlock said, “everyone’s asleep. Look, I knew I had to send Stanley somewhere since Seattle wasn’t an option, and the camp proved convenient. Your part proved to be a little more fortuitous. I was doing research for my sister, something about a doping scandal in the DC swim community. I stumbled upon your Mr. Capozzoli and his dark history, as well as his plans to spend the summer here. That brought me to your escapades together, as well as your sister’s. I couldn’t help but notice the similarity in your appearance, so I sent you an email with the information and financing for the camp.”
“Wait, so the Willa Scott Queer Media Foundation is you? Thank you, I guess,” Sebastian said, confusion still in his voice.
“I did my part and you did yours. I know Stanley, he’s a smart man, and considering how your sister kept up a false identity with…relative success”
“She got found out!”
“Love was involved, and that’s an… an unknown variable. Anyways, I assumed you two would come to the mutual decision. You get to spend time with your lover, and Stanley gets to have a real family, even if only for a few weeks.”
“But you won’t tell anyone?” Sebastian was surprised, but after what Stanley told him, he didn’t put it past Sherlock.
Sherlock shrugged. “I see nothing that would be harmed by this. I assume Langdale has been contacted.”
“Yup, Stanley wrote him a letter.”
“Good, good. It’s late, you should get some sleep. Can you get to your room from here?”
“I’m pretty sure I can. Sherlock, look….thank you.”
“I did what I did for Stanley, it just happened to be a mutually beneficial situation.”
“Oh my god just let me fucking thank you.”
“you’re welcome, Mr. Messing.”
Stanley loved airplanes. He loved looking at the clouds and the way the engines were a perfect white noise and the SkyMall catalog and everything. This time, however, he was more nervous than excited. He felt like he was about to go onstage, but his character was a more confident version of himself. Still, he was about to meet Viola, and he was excited for that. Judging by the videos he watched in the airport, they would get along.
Stanley negotiated his way to baggage claim, found Sebastian’s bag (which was altogether too heavy, for the record) and looked around for a familiar face.
Sure enough, there was Viola, running towards him. Stanley found himself wrapped in a tight hug. Normally, he would have an issue with this, but he remembered that he was related to her. Probably.
“Dude, how have you been? How was it?!”
Stanley grinned. “It was actually really great I met some really great people and I had a lot of fun and oh my goodness”
Viola grinned, punching him in the arm. That must be how the Messings showed affection.
The moms were so happy to see him, but not nearly as much as Stanley was to see them. He noticed how Helena looked just like the pictures of his mom. He made a mental note to send a text to Sherlock. It was late when he got home so he went straight to bed. He had a text from Sherlock and THREE texts from Sebastian, but those were mainly just “!!!!!” and “!!?!??!?”
Sherlock’s text read: “Call.”
Sherlock picked up after the first ring.
“Sherlock! You know! Did Sebastian give it away?”
Sherlock told Stanley how she planned all this. Stanley couldn’t help but smile the entire time. She did all this to give him a family.
“Thank you. I miss you.” “
You’re very welcome. I miss you too. Sebastian is…not you.”
Alright I don't have the time to give this fic the attention it deserves, but I'll make sure the next chapter has bullet points outlining the best parts of this AU.
Chapter 3: Let's Get Together (Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah)
The rest of the AU, bulleted bc I'm lazy
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
- Puck and Bottom don’t recognize him but he just says it’s because he still smells like camp
- is awful at football
- so bad
- in my head there is a montage of him failing ironically set to "I believe I can fly"
- Viola is like dude what happened
- says he’s going to go skype his boyfriend in Doyle when really he’s calling Seb or Sherlock
- is just SO SUPER HAPPY to be home
- the moms actually think he’s calmed down because he isn’t cursing as much.
- Stanley freaking Hopkins is the calmer one. Thats a first.
- Hermia: “He’s down from 110% to 100%”
- it’s just because Stanley is nervous about his new family so he isn’t his full self
- he gets there though
- Towards the end of the summer he asks Helena if she ever had a sister.
- “Yeah…Carey. Her husband didn’t approve of me and Hermia. Didn’t even let her show up to the wedding. All I heard was that she passed away a few years after.”
- “Did…did you know that she had kids?”
- “Yeah, two boys, I think.”
- “Three, actually. The youngest is my age. His name is Stanley.”
- “Yeah, that’s me.”
- The moms are still so happy they invite him to California for Winter Break.
- Viola is relieved her brother didn’t forget how to play football
- instantly calls liv to introduce her to her new cousin
- Stanley is!! really happy!!!
- is a super bad actor
- awful at being Stanley
- the worst
- luckily the Scooby Gang doesn’t blink an eye
- they’re like “oh Stanley is all of a sudden very confident! And he learned to swear! Good for him!”
- (these are the people who didnt recognize Sherlock in a hat after all)
- Seb’s like “hey motherfuckers it’s me Stanley Hopkins that’s my name don’t wear it out”
- The worst part of Sebastian’s acting is how he introduces Anthony to everyone.
- “Hey everyone this is Anthony he’s here swimming for the summer isn’t he cute look how cute he is LOOK AT THIS HOT SLICE OF MANCAKE”
- okay maybe not that exactly but then people start to get suspicious because these two are 1) ridiculously cute together, but 2) know way too much about each other to have met like…days ago
- surprise they’ve been dating for a year!
- the secret is revealed on their one year anniversary
- when Sebastian throws himself a “WELCOME SEBASTIAN AND ALSO GOOD JOB ON THE BOYFRIEND” party for the group
- what a dork
- Sebastian and Anthony become honorary SACU kids for the summer
- they all watch his vlogs and viola’s vlogs together, with Seb providing running commentary and Sherlock pointing out all the clear signs that were missed
- and then skype V and ask her a bunch of questions also Stanley is there and everyone's happy to see that he is alive and well and smiley.
-Everyone is Friends™
Did I mention how I am sorry?