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Dear Enemy

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Wednesday 14th December 2016


I'm trying to rereading Mr X's letters to calibrate exactly the right combination of Unforgiveables to unleash on Malfoy when I next see him. It's impossible to do without getting angry and I've got Lilly Luna and James this afternoon. Rather than disturb the kids I'm going to owl you every time I need to siphon off a bit of rage. Sound fair? I thought so.

Rules for how this is going to work.

1. You don't reply.

2. I get to be as pissed off about this as I want.

3. This doesn't mean I'm alright with you, or Ron.

Fuck you (and Ron) very much (but love to Rose and Hugo),



[The following owls were all delivered between 3pm and 7pm on Wednesday 14th December 2016]


Right. First letter, he called my glasses "grime encrusted" and talked about my "celebrity lifestyle". How. The. Fuck. Did. I. Miss. This. He wasn't even trying to hide who he was. He might as well of signed off with "Yours ferretly, Draco Twatfoy".


I thought he was a brunette! That must have been the week I ran into Oliver Wood at the Leaky. Shit. I talked to him about Oliver. Fuck.


Alright Ron told me about how the Schrijfinius Fidelius Agreement told you who he really was (fuck you, you should have told me, etc) but did you work it out before that? Rhetorical question, Rule 1 still applies.


Didn't realise how long my early letters to him were. Must have been killing him, sitting there having to read about what coffee I was drinking and my theories about the school central heating and not even being able to sneer back! Fuck, I referred to the office coffee as "sweet nectar", I am such a dick when I'm caffeinated - yet another thing you and Ron as my "best friends" should have told me. Joking, a bit.


Can't fucking breath thinking about Brian's Apparation Skid Marks sculpture series! Oh, and there's me suggesting Mr X come to the school to see it. Because why not, I can't even recognise the person I've been obsessed with hated for the majority of my life when he's right in front of me, Malfoy could probably have drawn on a mustache in fucking purple crayon and I would have been all "oh hello good sir, have we met before? I think not! allow me to introduce myself, I am Harry Pratter".

I am an idiot I am such an idiot I am so fucking stupid I just want to rip my own hair out and shove it down my own throat until I choke and die. Fuck.


Of course he actually turned up for the exhibition. Of fucking course. I even told Mr X about Malfoy showing up! I mentioned Malfoy to him. I called him a Rare Albino Ferret. I called him a dickhead. I called him a bigot. I called him a boil on my arse. WHERE IS MY FUCKING FILTER?? Fucking fucking fuck I talked about his fucking eyes.


Fucks sake. My first letter back from Mr X and it's Malfoy getting pissy about Puddlemere and calling my comments about his eyes "character assassinations, snide accusations, slander, gossip". He is so dramatic, how did I miss this? How? How? FUCKING HOW?


Oh. And there's good old Harry apologising, spilling all the plans about protesting Ollivanders' testing, and twatting lyrical about fucking Oliver Wood.


Forgot he was the one to suggest we watch Philomena. I should watch that again.


"There are some very moving scenes around the theme of forgiveness that seem particularly pertinent to our post-war world". Alright fucking forget it. I knew, I fucking knew, that Malfoy would have been using every opportunity to weasel his way in. Why just recommend a decent film when you can turn it into a dig?


Right. That anonymous tip we got about Ollivanders' testing was from Malfoy, wasn't it? Don't bother answering. Why couldn't he just fucking say that he wanted to help us? Don't answer.


And there's me going on about how much I loved Malfoy's article in The Prophet re. the testing. He must have loved that. From "boil on my arse" to "brilliant!" in less than a week. Fuck this is getting depressing. More depressing. You know I actually thought that Malfoy was just turning into a decent human being? Didn't realise that I was giving him a fucking checklist for how to do that. You think he would have written that column if I hadn't been writing to Mr X about how much Malfoy pissed me off? You can answer that.


Wednesday 14th December 2016

Dear Harry,

Yes I think he would have written that column anyway. He wouldn't have made the donation to the school in the first place if he didn't want to support Squib rights.




Wednesday 14th December 2016

Dear Harry,

I think Al needs to come home. He and Scorpius appear to have had a misunderstanding and both boys are in tears. I've tried owling Luna but there has been no response and Al does seem rather distressed. Would it be acceptable for me to Floo him over? His overnight bag is still packed so we shouldn't be more than 10 minutes.

Your Draco


Wednesday 14th December 2016

Dear Harry,

Is everything alright? I understand that you were worried about Al but you were rather nonverbal just now. I am sorry I couldn't stay after dropping Al off, Scorpius has cried himself to sleep without telling me what their fight was about, has Al said anything?

Your Draco

P.S. I appreciate your attempts to give me space, however I think it's time for us to talk through a few things. Theo Nott's trial has a January date, I may be called to testify, and there are some discussions that I would prefer to have with you face-to-face beforehand.


Wednesday 14th December 2016


I'll talk to Al.

Thanks for dropping him off.