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Dear Enemy

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Saturday 10th December 2016

Harry,

Hermione's in bits. She's really sorry about going along with the Mr X stuff, we both are, but she thought she was doing the right thing for the school and for you. Considering the pregnancy hormones, the fire crab infestation (Blaise is still trying to claim they weren't sent by that crab wrangler he hooked up with last year), and Draco logging around a million hours of babysitting maybe give her a break? Seriously mate, I came down at 3am to find her and Ginny drawing up plans to break into the Ministry and nab the last Time Turner. They were trying to decide if they should leave the kids with me or take them along as a distraction. We're all really sorry. Please don't make my wife and sister turn Hugo into a cat burglar before he can even hold his own head up unsupported.

Sorry,

Ron

P.S. What do you mean by "Hermione's a secret Puddlemere fan?"

 

Saturday 10th December 2016

She's been obsessed with the Puddles for months, ever since I started using her Rememberall to record the matches.

Should have known better than to trust someone who blackmailed the Sorting Hat.

Harry

 

Saturday 10th December 2016

Alright.

1. I don't believe you. She's got carrier bags of Canons merch stashed under the bed for Christmas and I know it's not all for me. If she was suddenly into Quidditch she'd never even look at the Puddles.

2. She wants me to say that she didn't blackmail the Sorting Hat. And if she did then it was an act of loyalty. Alright she's wandered off muttering about "Ravenbores" so onto point 3...

3. She blatantly blackmailed the Sorting Hat but you can't really think that she's not to be trusted.

4. She was keeping an eye on Draco the entire time.

You're in a snit and that's fine but it's nearly Christmas, the kids are already sick of having to be dropped off by Luna (and why is she the only one you're not pissed off with?), Mum is threatening to invite Draco's lot to Christmas dinner, and Albus has picked up on your mood and started calling Rose "Nose" again. Still got no idea why it upsets her so much.

Ron

 

Saturday 10th December 2016

Dear Luna,

I heard Albus is acting out, want me to take him tonight?

Love,

Harry

 

Saturday 10th December 2016

Dear Harry,

What a delightful idea. Albus does indeed appear to be struggling with the addition of Lily Luna and the loss of his best friend.

I am afraid that I will be unable to Floo him over this evening. Would you mind lowering the wards you've set against Ginny? As she is the mother of your children, one of your oldest friends, your adopted sister, and the only person who supported you during your suspenders phase, I assume that you were planning to do this anyway?

Yours with love, peace and wonder

Luna

 

Saturday 10th December 2016

Dear Luna,

Point taken, I've been a dick to her and I'll say sorry tonight.

Nice of you to say but I saw Albus 10 hours ago and I'm not sure that I'm his "best" friend, surely that's Scorpius? Is he really upset? Hermione cast Muffilato charms before we started yelling at each other and I thought the kids were all asleep?

Love,

Harry

P.S. It wasn't a suspender phase, they were braces. You know that, right? Tell me you haven't been telling people I used to wear "suspenders".

 

Saturday 10th December 2016

Dear Harry,

Did you know that the father-son relationship is like catnip for Snarkelwaffels? I one saw one react to a father teaching his son how to shoplift and it was such a beautiful sight. The Snarkelwaffel went bright pink and began to exude clouds of shimmering light. The Snarkelwaffels are always very excited when they catch sight of yourself and Albus, clearly your bond holds great strength and power.

But I was actually referring to Scorpius. Apparently the boys have noticed your less than cordial attitude when speaking of Draco and have decided to take sides. James sent Martin a Howler of himself belching Drake's Back to Back and Scorpius responded with a cutting note addresses to "Albutt".

In addition to clearing the air with Ginny, it seems prudent to examine your own feelings regarding Draco.

Yours with love and wonder,

Luna

 

Saturday 10th December 2016

Yeah alright, you and your glitter farting Snarfels make a convincing argument. I'll make sure that the boys know it's alright to be mates with the mini-Malfoys and I'll do something about Draco. Any suggestions for what that something should be?

Harry

 

Saturday 10th December 2016

Dear Harry,

Hermione mentioned that you might find it enlightening to reread the letters between yourself and Mr X before confronting Draco.

Love,

Luna