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Wednesday 3rd August 2016

Dreamy Draco,

Are you available to escort Daisy and I to Madame Malkins this afternoon? I know you are very busy with work but if you could be powerful and ruthless on the subject of cashmere vs. silk-cashmere blend I would be eternally grateful. Daisy has entered what I'm hoping will be a temporary naked phase and has rejected everything in her wardrobe. While I would love to be one of those bohemian mothers who dresses herself in hemp and refuses to give her children surnames but I must admit that my establishment roots are showing. I want her clothed.

Theo has already made all requisite jokes about my own disrobing throughout 5th, 6th and 8th year (they all boil down to: my wife, what a slut!! hur hur hur) so save yourself the trouble. Not that you couldn't snark him into the sea but I am pressed for time and could do with a quick answer.

Love love love,

Pans

 

Wednesday 3rd August 2016

Dear Mrs Nott,

I regret to inform you that Mr Malfoy will be unable to join you and Daisy at Madame Malkins this afternoon.

Yours sincerely,

Toby Higgsborn

Personal Assistant
Draco Malfoy
Malfoy & Associates

 

Wednesday 3rd August 2016

Dear Toby Jug,

Do stop being so dismally formal. You cannot sign off with "yours sincerely" when writing to a woman who has changed your nappies and did tequila shots off your mum's cleavage last New Years Eve.

What is wrong with Draco? Is he in a huff with me or have you staged an intervention?

Love and kisses for your peachy bum,

Pansy

 

Wednesday 3rd August 2016

Sorry Aunt Pansy.

It's an intervention.

Forget waking up on the wrong side of the bed, he must have woken up on the wrong side of the Veil this morning. We've already had two members of staff quit and one of the interns developed a chronic nosebleed after having to share the lift with him for 3 floors.

I'm checking all his incoming owls and he's off to the Wizengamot this afternoon. He was muttering something about people being ungrateful and how Latin should be taught in Muggle schools. I'm seriously considering slipping a Sweet Dreams into his tea - what do you think?

Tobs xx

 

Wednesday 3rd August 2016

Dear Toby,

Good call on the intervention although in my experience it's best to let him roar himself into a stupor, rather than drug him against his will. Did you find the owl that set him off? I'll drop by tomorrow to see if he's calmed down and get the gossip.

Love love love,

Pansy

 

Wednesday 3rd August 2016

Dear Aunt Pansy,

I found the owl but there's there must be a privacy Charm in place. It just looks like crumbled piece of parchment with lots of coffee stains. Although Mr Malfoy has annotated it a bit; "self-righteous son of a hedgehog", "burn in Fiendfyre", "more like boil on my arse", etc etc but I've seen him write practically the same thing in his Christmas cards so it's not much help.

Tobs xx