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Dear Enemy

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Sunday 31st July 2016

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!!!!!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday dear Harreeeeeee!!

Happy Birthday to you!

Woooooooooo! 3 cheers for the man who once managed to fit 27 chocolate frogs inside his own mouth and only vomited twice after! (also defeated an evil wizard, saved magical kind, etc etc, I don't know, you've been busy, it's difficult to keep track).

Squeezing you forever,

Gin xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (a kiss for every frog and 1 for you x)

 

Happy Birthday Dad. When will my broom get here? Love from James.

 

Happy Birthday Al xxx

 

Dear Harry,

Happy Birthday! Al and I have choreographed a new dance routine in honour of your birthday. It can be performed to either I Get Around by The Beach Boys or Roses by Outkast. Please do let me know which song you prefer.

I am writing this in the garden and a friendly dandelion has taken an interest in the proceedings. He has cosied up to my quill and every time I write the word "birthday" he nods wisely as if he is possession of some knowledge or foresight you and I are not privy to. He is such a cheery little thing, with his proud golden ruff, that I am convinced this will be an especially wonderful birthday and year for you.

Yours with love, peace and wonder,

Luna

 

Sunday 31st July 2016

Hi Harry,

Just wanted to say Happy Birthday. 36, when did we get so old? Sorry again that I can't make it tonight, Hannah's taking me midnight mushroom foraging in Brockwell Park. Enjoy the chocolate frogs (remember when Ginny dared you to eat an entire barrel on your 25th birthday and you were sick everywhere? Good times!).

Cheers!

Neville 

 

Sunday 31st July 2016

Dear Neville,

Cheers and same to you! Give Hannah my love and I'll drop by the Leaky next week with some birthday cake. Luna's theme this year is "Decadent Corruption" so should be interesting. She's also promised not to use toothpaste in this one after Hannah had that reaction last year. (Seriously though mate, how can someone be allergic to toothpaste?)

Best,

Harry

 

Sunday 31st July 2016

Dear Harry,

Happy Birthday! I'm helping Molly set up at The Burrow - so far this has involved making myself a cup of tea and answering Arthur's questions re. the differences between electric toothbrushes and vibrators (don't worry, I'm Obliviating both of us as soon as this letter is finished). George is already setting up the fireworks and Luna has arrived with the cake. It's in 15 different parts and I'm fairly sure she just fired up a blow torch.

Lots of love,

Hermione

P.S. I think Ginny and Luna have had a bit of a spat, maybe you can offer to take James and Al tomorrow night?

 

Sunday 31st July 2016

Dear Hermione,

Cheers and yes, I'll take the boys. That's not like them but Gin's been a bit off recently and I'm fairly sure Luna was crying at the exhibition. Wanted to check on her but Malfoy was twatting around with hankies and bottles of water and fucking hugs. Anything else you think we can do for them?

Love,

Harry

P.S. Surely if you Obliviate Arthur he'll just force you to have the entire conversation again?

P.P.S. A dandelion told Luna that this will be an especially good year for me. I'm taking it as a sign that Puddlemere will finally reclaim their rightful place at the top of the league, want to come over with Ron tonight and watch the match? Yeah that's right, Ginny told me you're a secret Puddle!

 

Sunday 31st July 2016

Dear Harry,

Short of overthrowing the patriarchal system that demands women takes responsibility for most of the childcare and housework (while simultaneously devaluing both roles) I'm fresh out of ideas. Maybe just a bit of extra babysitting when we can manage it?

Love,

Hermione

P.S. What conversation?

P.P.S. I'm putting my covert Puddle status down to a surge of pregnancy hormones, Ron cannot find out about it and if you tell him I will charm everything you eat to taste like Bubotuber pus and betrayal.

P.P.P.S. It. Is. Your. Birthday. Get. Out. Of. The. Office. You. Sad. Bastard.

 

Sunday 31st July 2016

Happy Birthday mate!

I've borrowed the office Pensieve and have got the memory of you eating all those chocolate frogs looping against the shed wall!

Ron

 

Sunday 31st July 2016

Ron

I should have left you at the bottom of that lake.

Harry