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In Which Bakugou Finds His One Tru Luv

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Bakugou Katsuki is a lot of things.

A lot of people will tell you he’s an asshole. Ball of rage. Probably knows profanity in fifty different languages and isn’t afraid to demonstrate. Absolutely no sense of teamwork. Lone wolf. Would fight himself given the chance. Probably screams at his reflection when he sees himself in the mirror every morning. Will die one day choking on his spit while yelling.

Kirishima Eijirou describes him as a tsundere, except without the nice parts.

Moral of the story: Bakugou Katsuki is not that pleasant being around. He can’t sit still through paperwork without getting agitated and yelling; unfortunately, since they are technically his subordinates, they are forced to endure through his daily fits—shitfits, they call them, since Bakugou himself had yelled that out one day and it had stuck. (They don’t ever say it to his face, though, besides maybe Kirishima, but the dude is basically a human shield, so that’s not fair.)

Bakugou Katsuki likes to battle. He will literally fight everything. Even if there is nothing to fight, he will go looking, whether it is a small mob, a pebble on the road, or Todoroki’s poor car. Unfortunately, since they are technically his subordinates, they are forced to endure his daily wreckage—exercise, Bakugou says, but that’s stupid, so no one calls it that.

He is the current leader of their hero agency. That’s because the real leader, All Might, is off in some faraway continent taking care of some super bad villains. He’s the reason they all applied for this hero agency in the first place; no one in their right minds would voluntarily want to work under Bakugou. He’s not what they signed up for.

There’s a couple of them, and they’ve bonded together as fellow victims and survivors of Bakugou’s daily shitfits. There’s Iida, who is called ‘Four-Eyes’ by Bakugou on a nice day, and ‘Stuck-Up Shit’ on bad ones. There’s Kirishima, who Bakugou seems to tolerate the most, so he only has one nickname—‘Shit-For-Brains’. There’s Todoroki, whose nicknames range from ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ to ‘Half-and-Half’ to ‘Stupid Fuckface I Hope You Shit Yourself and Die’. Todoroki doesn’t really care what he’s called; he just wants to sue his employer for the amount of times he has had his car totaled by Bakugou. There’s Uraraka, who is called ‘Round Face’ and ‘Chipmunk Cheeks’, and, on uncreative days, just ‘Chubby’, but none of Bakugou’s nicknames for her include any profanity, so she’s actually pretty high up on his ‘Nice List’. There’s also Mineta, but he’s known as ‘Purple Balls’ throughout the office, so he doesn’t really have a Bakugou-exclusive-profanity-laced-nickname.

It’s the five of them, and Bakugou, and they form quite a formidable hero agency, even without All Might. But they don’t actually get paid that much, because between all their building destruction costs—and there are a lot of building destruction costs—the total amount they make is barely enough for Todoroki to keep fixing his car every week after Bakugou wrecks it for no apparent reason.

He wants to wreck Bakugou’s face. But not really, because he still wants to get paid, and anything is better than working for his father, where he would get paid in not money, but in lectures about world domination and quirk marriages and he swears his dad tries to set him up with some girl every time they see each other.

So life at the now dubbed Explodo-kill agency is not that pleasant, but they are all poor college students, so at this point in their lives they’re just trying to scrape by. Bakugou wants to fire them and work solo, but even he isn’t foolish enough to go against All Might, so their steady diet of instant noodles is safe for another day.

The five of them call themselves ‘Explodo-kill minus Bakugou’, but Iida points out that since all the explodo-killing comes from Bakugou anyway, that nickname simple sums to zero. And so they settled for the less cool but more practical #StopBakugouShitfits2k30. Unfortunately, not many shitfits are stopped, but they are trying. Correction: Kirishima is trying. Todoroki likes to try, but he is no longer allowed to, because he just ends up provoking Bakugou more.

They all met Bakugou at different times. However, they all have one common point: destruction. That’s right, Bakugou’s quirk is not actually explosions; it’s the ability to annihilate everything in his path yet still somehow get hired for jobs, because people are apparently masochists and like watching their houses burn.

Life at the Explodo-kill agency is boring. When there are no villains around—and there have been less and less, because villains have seemingly learned that attacking in this town will get your feet frozen and your face exploded—they simply sit and fill out paperwork. There’s an absurd amount of paperwork for an agency that hasn’t gotten very many jobs. The amount doesn’t particularly matter though, since all the pages find themselves circling over to Iida’s desk. He is quite happy to fill them out.

Uraraka spends her time levitating cards on her desk. Kirishima is playing some sort of fighting game on his computer, which is basically just keyboard smashing at this point. Todoroki decides to open up one of the dating sites his dad sent him out of morbid curiosity, but then closes it quickly because there is too much sin. No one dares to go near Mineta’s computer.

Bakugou has his own private office. They can sometimes hear him yelling inside, but most of the time, it is surprisingly quiet. There has been a running theory about how he actually leaves the office during the workday via the window and escapes paperwork, but he and his scowl are always there when Kirishima opens the door asking him to join them for lunch.

There is a list of rules, hanging above Kirishima’s desk, about the times when you can ask Bakugou to spend time with the group without getting your face explodo-killed. Rule 1: He’s not a morning person, so anything before eleven will get you thrown out the window. Rule 2: Lunch is generally safe as long as you pick some place he likes. Rule 3: As long as paperwork is moving along, he will come along any time before five. Rule 4: Do not ask him to go out for dinner. Ever.

Dinner is on the Bakugou blacklist. Other words include: sweets, losing, friends, Todoroki. Todoroki wonders every day why his life is so hard.

Bakugou Katsuki is a lot of things, but he’s certainly not mellow and quiet.

It is a change that they all noticed, but none of them have voiced until Kirishima brings it up one rainy afternoon. It’s been two months and Bakugou has been clearly maturing. He has stopped stealing everyone’s food in the refrigerator. His building destruction costs are down low enough that Uraraka’s is higher. He only accidentally runs Todoroki over with his car once a week.

Puberty’, Kirishima suggests.

Bakugou still runs his mouth like it isn’t anyone’s business, but he doesn’t just yell at them for no reason anymore. They can actually maintain a proper conversation for ten seconds. He even said something to Kirishima the other day that sounded like a messed up form of encouragement.

One of the negatives to this newly reformed Bakugou, though, is that with his ascent past pubescent shitfits comes these really creepy smirks that Bakugou does that give everyone nightmares. They don’t know if he’s trying to smile or if he’s secretly plotting all of their deaths, but it’s scary enough that they all get together to file a complaint and send it to their boss—aka him.

Explodo-killing comes back after he reads it.

Speaking of the agency name, they have been thinking about changing it for a while. With Bakugou no longer blowing everything up, there is no one left here that explodes anything. (Besides the time when Mineta decided to jam one of his purple balls into Iida’s motors. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the process. However, the same cannot be said about the Bakugou aftermath that had happened afterwards.)

Needless to say, this new Bakugou is weird, and they assign their delegate Kirishima Eijirou to talk to him. They all end up blatantly eavesdropping anyway, so it doesn’t really matter who the delegate is.

“Hey man,” Kirishima greets, going into Bakugou’s office at four in the afternoon, aka one of the designated safe times. Bakugou is looking at his phone and he has a somewhat decent look on his face as he looks down at the screen. His trademark scowl comes back when he sees who comes in his office, though, and he puts his phone away.

“What do you want, Shit for Brains?” Bakugou grits out. His phone screen lights up, and he glances at it before flipping it over.

“You okay?” Kirishima asks, making himself comfortable on Bakugou’s desk despite the threats that come flying his way. There is a ‘no body parts but hands on the table—and yes, that includes your heads!’ rule that no one follows. “You seem to be under the weather recently, so I just thought I’d come and check up on you. Like a good friend.”

Todoroki and Mineta actually don’t care that Bakugou’s not acting like himself. They had wanted to leave this new brooding Bakugou alone, but they had gotten outnumbered and thus found themselves in this situation. Personally, Todoroki thought that his car should’ve gotten a vote as well. It was as much of a victim as they were.

Alas, Uraraka is one of the most stubborn person he knows, and even if his car could speak and had been bleeding and dying, she would’ve found some way to override the tie. Which is… actually quite heartless, both to his car and to his wallet.

“I’m fine,” Bakugou says, but is evidently not fine since he has not made any move to kick Kirishima off his desk. Todoroki notes that even his voice sounds a little less constipated. Just a little, though.

“You sure?” Kirishima says, and then Bakugou’s phone starts vibrating. They all glance over at it, but he clearly has no intention of picking it up. Not with all of them in the room and happy to eavesdrop, anyway.

“Did you have an actual reason for coming here, or are you trying to be my fucking counselor?” Bakugou sneers.

His phone vibrates again.

“Your phone’s ringing,” says Captain Obvious Kirishima.

“No shit,” Bakugou growls.

“Aren’t you gonna answer it?”


“Why not?”

Bakugou just stares at him. Kirishima briefly entertains the thought of the five of them overpowering Bakugou, but then decides the destruction costs aren’t worth the phone. For now, anyway.

He really wants to know who it could be that was calling him, though. None of the people at the agency has Bakugou’s phone number. Actually, there had been a wager going around that he didn’t even know how to use a mobile device. Nonetheless, Todoroki lost a lot of money on that day.

“What if it’s someone important?” Kirishima tries. “Family? Friends?” Bakugou opens his mouth angrily, no doubt offended that one of the words on the Bakugou blacklist was mentioned. Kirishima quickly blurts out, without thinking, “Lover?”

Uraraka is planning Kirishima’s funeral. Iida is wondering if he can get to the redhead in time before he becomes an explosion of guts and brains. Todoroki wonders if, since Kirishima’s screwed anyway, he can hand the guy an ice sword and tell him to stab Bakugou. Mineta has taken cover under the desk.

Surprisingly enough, however, Bakugou does not explodo-kill Kirishima. He doesn’t even maim him. Instead, the five of them of #StopBakugouShitfits2k30—which aren’t even happening anymore—are tossed out of the office and the door is slammed in their faces.

And just like that, they find out that the reason why Bakugou is being semi-tolerable to them is because of the power of love.

Bakugou Katsuki is a lot of things, and apparently he’s a boyfriend now.

They talk about this mysterious figure amongst themselves, but they don’t actually have that much to go on. They don’t know the person’s gender, or name, or interests. Todoroki brings up that Bakugou definitely prefers strength to cuteness, so they all agree that the mysterious person is probably ripped, large, has hell of patience and is probably insane to voluntarily sign themselves to Bakugou.

There are no pictures in Bakugou’s office, not that they expected any. No one stops by the agency and drops off bentos, no one waits in front of the building to walk him home. There are virtually no clues to who this person could be to the point where Mineta suggests that maybe Bakugou is a lonely, lonely person and made up his own significant other.

The five of them decided one day that there had clearly not been enough drama in the agency ever since Bakugou mellowed out due to his imaginary lover—which was still pretty damn impressive if that was true, Kirishima pointed out. So the #StopBakugouShitfits2k30 campaign launched their fourteenth mission together, which was basically to just distract Bakugou and steal his phone and run for their lives.

Unfortunately, the mission wasn’t all that successful. They did manage to get his phone after Kirishima pointed out the window and yelled, “Villain!” Iida had been the designated phone snatcher and while Bakugou was still distracted, managed to pass it off to Uraraka before hell in the form of Bakugou Katsuki descended upon all of them.

In the end, they all end up bloody and burned and the agency returns to its original state of complete demolishment. They don’t even learn anything of interest from this suicidal stealth-except-not-very-stealthy mission. All Uraraka saw on the lock screen before Bakugou introduced her face to the wall was one message from Bakugou’s mom, and one message from someone named ‘Fucking Deku’.

Needless to say, neither of those sounded like significant other material.

 After that, they simply speculated amongst themselves because it gives them an excuse not to do paperwork, and it also is relatively safe and not Bakugou-inclusive. So they change their campaign name to #FindBakugouOneTruLuv as they move from a hero agency to a gossip central.

They all have different ideas about what this one tru luv could be like. Iida thinks it’s some sort of older, professional woman. A teacher, perhaps? Someone with a strong quirk and a stoic personality. Uraraka thinks it’s someone like All Might—big and muscular and can beat up Bakugou if needed. Kirishima thinks it’s someone like Bakugou himself—full of rage and explosiveness and destructiveness. Todoroki goes a step further and says that he’s dating his own reflection. Mineta says that he doesn’t really care who Bakugou dates, but he hopes that they at least have a nice chest, because he still laments every day giving up the opportunity to work with Yaoyorozu Momo to come to this agency made up of almost entirely guys.

Bakugou eventually catches on to this gossip central, but he surprises them all by not putting a stop to it. In fact, he seems to take some kind of sick amusement whenever he comes out of his super-duper exclusive office that’s seriously wasted on him and sees them struggling outside. The jerk’s not even nice enough to drop any hints.

They do find out one day that it is a guy, however, when Bakugou accidentally slips up and absolutely crushes Mineta’s dreams.

Bakugou’s boyfriend. It’s weird just to say. Kirishima laments the fact that someone like Bakugou managed to get someone before he does. They all realize that despite there being five of them, the #FindBakugouOneTruLuv group has less dating experience than Bakugou alone.

It is a very sad day at the agency.

Mineta suggests that perhaps Bakugou is in a friends-with-benefits situation, and while Iida is scandalized by the proposition, they all agree that that seems more likely than Bakugou holding hands and buying gifts. But then they realize that in order to be friends-with-benefits you have to technically be friends with someone—after all, that’s what the name says, says Kirishima—and Bakugou’s friend is equally weird to say.

But then Uraraka remembers Fucking Deku on Bakugou’s phone.

They look him up, but the search engine yields no results. So at least Bakugou isn’t dating some famous actor or pro hero or something like that. It doesn’t make them feel any better, though, since they essentially have no leads now.

So Todoroki decides to ask one day, as Bakugou is storming past the office to disappear to who knows where he goes during dinnertime. “When do we get to meet Fucking Deku?”

The agency is silent. Bakugou slowly swivels around. “What?” he says, though it is very obvious that he heard exactly what was said.

“I said when—”

“Deku-kun!” Uraraka cuts in, because the way Bakugou is grinding his teeth makes it look like he wants to bite Todoroki’s face off. “Can we meet Deku-kun one day?”

Bakugou looks at her, and then turns away. “Hell no.”

“Why not?” Todoroki asks, because he has no filters and probably a death wish and Kirishima would pay good money to see him seriously fight against Bakugou.

“He’s not going near you fucking losers,” Bakugou mutters under his breath. It sounds possessive and oddly… fond? In a Bakugou sort of way. Kind of. If you were into that sort of thing.

Todoroki gets chastised later for ruining their super-secret element of surprise. Once again, he wonders why his life is so hard.

Bakugou Katsuki is a lot of things.

Like an absolute killjoy at parties.

All Might is coming back from his trip overseas, and the five of them are celebrating a little bit too hard at the return of their wages and worker rights. There are a lot of pro heroes there, and they try to get some networking in at first, but it becomes obvious very quickly that the adults are mostly there for the food and the drinks.

Bakugou stands in the corner and sulks. He’s wearing a suit, which looks oddly nice on him. Clearly even with his trademark scowl of doom on, he still attracts a lot of suitors, but he brushes them all off with some choice words and some rude gestures.

“Why do all the girls like the jackass?” Kirishima moans.

Todoroki is probably the most popular out of the five of them. Everyone recognizes him as Endeavor’s son, and soon women start to flock by his side. He is convinced that almost all of them are sent over by his dad, who seems to be discretely glancing over at Todoroki when he thinks he isn’t looking. Todorki thinks his dad should just retire from hero business and open up a matchmaking agency.

Speaking of Endeavor, he and All Might have spotted each other and now are in some sort of heated manly debate. Their relationship had deteriorated even more after Todoroki had chosen—the ultimate sin! Endeavor had said—to work at All Might’s hero agency instead of Endeavor’s.

“Don’t you have any sense of family?” Endeavor had asked, and it sounded so absurd coming from him that Todoroki had moved out and went to live with Kirishima.

The five of them stick together throughout the night, eating and complaining and generally keeping an eye out on Bakugou brooding in the corner. They renamed themselves #BakugouBabysitters a couple weeks ago because months of detective work on his tru luv from a certified detective—aka Iida because he wears glasses—turned up with no results.

Uraraka is in the middle of complaining about her parents’ business, because apparently her dad won’t let her help, when she accidentally bumps into someone behind her.

“Sorry!” She says, and then turns around and finds herself face to face with the sun.

“That’s okay,” the boy says, and all five of them just take the moment to stop and stare. He’s wearing formal clothing like the rest of them, but his hair is spoofy and not slicked down like most of the other pro heroes. His face still looks a little childish and freckles adorn his cheeks. A large earnest smile stretches across his face and his expression is so radiant that they’re all pretty sure they’re going to go blind if they stare for too long.

“I’m Uraraka Ochako,” she says, because she doesn’t want this ball of happiness to leave yet. His hand feels warm when they shake.

“I’m Midoriya Izuku,” he says sweetly. “It’s nice to meet you, Uraraka-san!” Uraraka swoons.

They all go around introducing themselves. When Todoroki mentions his name, recognition immediately flits across Midoriya’s face. “Todoroki?” he repeats, looking more and more like a boy about to open his Christmas present. “Are you Endeavor’s son?”

Todoroki nods, and before he knows it, the boy pulls out a notebook from nowhere and starts scribbling in it and muttering up a storm. The intense look on Midoriya’s face is a little scary, and it reminds them a little of Bakugou’s concentrated face before he explodes someone’s face into bits.

“Midoriya? Are you okay?” Kirishima asks once five minutes has passed and Midoriya shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon and is probably in danger of dying of asphyxiation.

Midoriya blinks and then looks up at them as if he forgot that they were there are all. Sheepishly, he tucks his notebook back into the jacket of his tuxedo. “Sorry,” he says. “I tend to get carried away when it comes to heroes.”

“Are you a journalist?” Iida asks.

“Sort of,” Midoriya smiles again. Seriously, that smile should be illegal. Uraraka just wants squeeze him to death. “I like documenting all kinds of details about heroes. Their appearances, strengths and weaknesses, special attacks, stuff like that.”

“Whoa, that’s cool, man!” Kirishima is the first to breach the Midoriya-barrier by patting the boy on the back. Todoroki feels a stab of jealousy. He doesn’t know why he feels jealous. He hasn’t felt jealous ever since his brother betrayed him and went outside to play ball while Endeavor dragged him back in the house.

“Thank you! I think it’s very interesting myself,” Midoriya says. He looks at Todoroki and looks like he wants to tell him about Endeavor. That is the last thing that Todoroki wants because Endeavor is already very good at talking about Endeavor on a daily basis.

Thankfully, Iida steps in and saves the day, and Midoriya launches into a rant about Ingenium, and Iida is happy to oblige.

It becomes a little too technical a bit later, so Kirishima cuts in and asks, “Is that your quirk? Profiling? That’s so cool, man. I bet the pro agencies are fighting over themselves to hire you.”

The five of them think of their own pro agency and collectively sigh.

Midoriya looks a little embarrassed. “Er, no, this is actually just a hobby of mine I’ve had since I was young.” He scratches the back of his head sheepishly, and the gesture is so endearing that even Todoroki wants to go and hug him. “Uh, I’m actually quirkless, haha.”

They all stare at him.

He fidgets a little bit under the attention. “Er, so it’s a rare condition and there aren’t a lot of people quirkless these days, and oh, both my parents have quirks! So it’s not genetic or anything. They just x-rayed my foot when I was young and then they found the double joint, so, um, yeah, I’m quirkless.”

None of them have any clue what he is talking about, but Midoriya is starting to look like a kicked puppy, so Kirishima moves to once again breach the holy Midoriya-barrier and pats the boy on the back. “It’s cool, man! Being quirkless doesn’t mean that you’re useless! I meant what I said before. Pro agencies are probably fighting over themselves to hire you!”

“That’s right!” Uraraka chimes in. “I think you’re amazing, Midoriya-kun! You’re much more attentive to detail than I ever am!”

Even Todoroki says, “You should join our agency.”

They all stare at him, and Todoroki realizes, too late, that he has indirectly subjected this wonderful ray of sunshine to the terror that is Bakugou Katsuki.

Midoriya blushes a little bit, and it looks kind of cute. Uraraka wonders if he’s single. “I’m, um, already working somewhere,” he murmurs.

“Ooh, where?” Uraraka asks. The Explodo-kill agency has taken jobs all across the city—mostly because of Bakugou and his inability to not fight everything he sees—so there’s a high chance that they have met somewhere before. If they have, though, Midoriya probably doesn’t have the best first impression of them.

Midoriya looks kind of embarrassed. He glances to the side and murmurs, “I… travel with him.”

They follow his gaze and sees… Endeavor? “You work under my father?” Todoroki asks, slightly scandalized, because who knows what that man does with people who are quirkless. Probably sits on them or something. Poor Midoriya doesn’t look like he can even handle his own weight sometimes, let alone the weight of the number two hero.

“Oh, no, the person he’s talking to.” Midoriya murmurs a lot, they find out. Sometimes he’s shy, and sometimes he just talks and talks to himself. “All Might,” he clarifies.

They all stare at him and start yelling all at once.

“You work with All Might?!” –Iida.

“Doesn’t that mean he’s our co-worker?” –Uraraka.

“Wait, no, that means he’s higher ranked than we are! He’s our boss!” –Kirishima.

“As long as he’s higher ranked than Bakugou.” –Todoroki.

“Hey, does that mean you’ve seen All Might in action?!” –Mineta.

Midoriya looks overwhelmed, but before he can say anything, a very scary—and sadly very familiar—voice yells over all their voices.

“There you are!”

There are collective groans throughout the group. Bakugou in the office was already bad enough. Bakugou at parties is a whole other animal. The thought of babysitting what could be drunk Bakugou for the rest of the night sounded like an absolutely terrible idea.

Kirishima, who is the leader of the designated #BakugouBabysitters, turns around to attempt to calm down the firey rage that is Bakugou Katsuki before the boy breaks something. But Bakugou doesn’t even notice him and walks past him without a second glance.

“Deku, you’re fucking late!” Bakugou yells, because clearly no one ever taught him to use his indoor voice.

They watch in astonishment as Midoriya smiles—he smiles—at Bakugou. No one has ever smiled at Bakugou before, let alone when he is screaming—which is always. “Sorry, Kacchan,” he apologizes. “The plane got delayed and then everyone wanted me to wear a suit, so we had to go buy one.”

Bakugou looks him over. “You look like shit,” he says, and if that’s not the most romantic line ever, then Todoroki doesn’t know what is. His dad used to use it a lot on his mom, after all.

“Thanks, I think you look great too!” Midoriya says, not missing a beat as he fixes Bakugou’s tie. Bakugou snarls, but once again, surprises them all by not slapping his hand away.

“We’re going to get takeout after this,” Bakugou growls. “And then I’m going to kick your ass in Mario Kart.”

“Kacchan, we’re tied, remember?” Midoriya argues, but he’s smiling.

“Not after I beat the hell out of you tonight,” Bakugou shoots back, and he’s actually kind of smiling, kind of, it looks a bit dysfunctional and all but it looks like that is what he’s attempting to do.

The whole conversation is just so weird and it looks like Bakugou’s seconds away from explodo-killing Midoriya’s face and they keep waiting for it to happen but it isn’t happening so Todoroki lets out a very intelligent “Um.”

Midoriya and Bakugou swivel around, as if realizing for the first time that they have an audience. “What the hell do you want, Halfie?”

Recognition flits across Midoriya’s face. “Oh, Todoroki-kun is Strawberry Shortcake?”

“No way! Does Bakugou talk about us?” Kirishima says easily, ignoring the glare that Bakugou shoots him.

“All the time!” Midoriya says cheerfully.

“Fucking Deku, when will you learn to shut your god damn mouth?!” Bakugou grits out. He looks kind of embarrassed. Probably. His cheeks are red, so he’s either blushing or about to explode with rage or both.

“But Kacchan, I told you that if you don’t talk to people, they won’t know what you’re trying to say! You always have this big scary smirk on,” Midoriya tries to imitate and it’s downright horrifying. It’s even worse than the Bakugou original. “So people always think you want to eat them or something!”

”Kacchan?” Todoroki says.

“We’ve been friends since childhood,” Midoriya says. “It’s my nickname for him and it’s stuck.”

“He’s Deku,” says Bakugou, clearly trying to salvage what’s left of his manliness. “Because he’s useless.”

“That’s not what you said last week!” Midoriya says, and the two of them glare at each other—with love, commentates Mineta.

“So,” Uraraka says, before they can start arguing again. “You’re childhood friends! How nice! It’s so great that the two of you are still in touch with each other.”

Midoriya looks at her, a serious look on his face. “Uraraka-san, we’re no longer childhood friends,” he says, so seriously as if he’s telling her about the world’s impending doom.

“Why not?” she asks, surprised.

“Deku, no,” Bakugou groans.

“Deku, yes,” Midoriya says, and then he plasters this horribly fake innocent look on his face. Bakugou looks like he’s about to spontaneously combust. “It’s because we’re boyfriends now.”

“Fuck you,” says Bakugou.

“Not here,” Midoriya shoots back, and then both of them start blushing like losers.

“I told you to keep your fucking mouth shut,” Bakugou says, but with his face suddenly metamorphosing into a tomato, it doesn’t have any of its usual effect.

“You were the one who yelled it at the airport before I left!” Midoriya says. “You said ‘Don’t you dare touch my boyfriend or I’ll fucking kill you!’” He covers his mouth quickly. “Look what you did, Kacchan! You made me say the f-word!”

Bakugou glares at him. “That’s because that bastard kept touching you!”

“He was only patting my shoulder! All Might does that all the time and you never complain!”

“That’s because you’re not going to leave me and go date All Might, are you?!” The two of them look at each other and start blushing like crazy again.

“Um,” Iida cuts in when the two of them finally take a couple minutes to stop yelling and catch their breaths. “Are you two okay?”

“Fucking peachy,” Bakugou grits out and stomps over to the food section.

“Get me some water, please!” Midoriya calls out, and gets the middle finger in return.

There is silence after Bakugou leaves. They cannot remember the last time Bakugou managed to last so long in a conversation—note: conversation, not a one-sided rage fit—without throwing any punches. Midoriya’s somehow still smiling as he watches Bakugou head toward the concession tables.

“Lover’s spat?” Mineta asks when the silence becomes too much for him.

Midoriya blinks at him. “No, why would you think that?”

“Because you were screaming at each other,” Todoroki says.

“Oh, that was nothing. Kacchan’s in a good mood today,” Midoriya says cheerfully, and then gives them a big toothy grin.

They all grimace.

That was Bakugou on a good day?

That was Bakugou on a good day to his boyfriend?!

Midoriya smiles at them. “Introduce yourselves to me. I only know Kacchan’s descriptions of you, and since we’re going to be working together, we should get to know each other better.”

“You’re going to work at the Explodo—I mean, All Might’s agency?” Iida asks.

“Yep! All Might took me on his travels this time for work experience.” His eyes positively shines when he talks about the number one hero. “I learned a lot of things! So even though I don’t have a quirk, I still hope I can help you guys in other ways!”

By this point, Uraraka really just wants to adopt him.

Todoroki is amazed the Bakugou is willing to date someone who is quirkless, though he’s not entirely convinced they’re dating yet. The whole display kind of just reeks of BDSM, which he only knows about because once again, the great old number two hero Endeavor took it upon himself to teach his son everything that could possibly arise out of quirk marriages. Everything.

They talk for a little bit more, introduce themselves and get to know this cheerful adorable boy that is known is Midoriya Izuku. They learn that he was born on July 15th. They learn that his favorite food is katsudon. They learn that he and Bakugou met in the park when they were very young.

They learn that the reason why Bakugou never goes out with them to dinner is because he is too busy ordering shitty takeout and skyping with Midoriya. They learn that Bakugou sometimes falls asleep during their late night phone calls which is why he’s so irritated in the morning. They learn that Bakugou is actually a really nice person—though they have a hard time believing that that is not almost entirely biased.

They would have learned a lot more, too, if Bakugou hadn’t returned with two cups of water. He thrusts one into Midoriya’s hands and says, “We’re leaving, you nerd.”

“Eh? But Kacchan, we just got here! We didn’t even get to eat anything yet!”

“If I survived six months with shitty takeout, you can survive one night,” Bakugou scowls, and proceeds to drag his boyfriend toward the door.

“It was nice to meet you all!” Midoriya calls out, despite being manhandled. He is still smiling despite everything, so they have all deduced that he is either Jesus or a masochist. “I look forward to working with you all on Monday!”

The door slams behind them.

“Well,” Todoroki says, and that just about sums up all of their thoughts perfectly.


“Kacchan, you got the crappy pizza again!” Midoriya pouts as he attempts to bite into the rock-hard crust to no avail. “There was Chinese right across the street! We could be consuming edible food right now!”

“Shut up, Deku! My wallet’s already suffering because I had to pay for your honeymoon with All Might these past six months!”

“Eh? Are you jealous, Kacchan? Don’t be jealous. Here, have some pizza. It’ll cheer you up.”

“Get that shit away from me!”

“So you do admit it’s shit!”

Katsuki Bakugou is a lot of things.

A lot of people will tell you he’s an asshole. Ball of rage. Probably knows profanity in fifty different languages and isn’t afraid to demonstrate. Absolutely no sense of teamwork. Lone wolf. Would fight himself given the chance. Probably screams at his reflection when he sees himself in the mirror every morning. Will die one day choking on his spit while yelling.

He is also, somehow, they don’t really know how it happened, Midoriya Izuku’s boyfriend.