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Stiles Stilinski's Guide on How to Hatch an Egg and Snag a Werewolf too

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So they dealt with harpies last week, so you really can't blame Stiles for freaking the fuck out when he first saw the egg. It was about as big as a softball (Hey! He likes softball! Don't judge! He might have preferred girl's softball over boy's baseball any day! And why the hell are they separated by gender!?! How messed up is that!) and he almost tripped over the thing while he was walking through the woods behind the ruins of the Hale house.

(Derek really needs to do something with it. It'd be a badass place to rebuild. Stiles can do his Emissary in-training thing and protect the shit out of it. He really needs to talk to Derek about that.)

So anyway, Stiles almost stepped on the egg, because that's all it could be. It was brown in color, almost coppery and it blended in with the forest floor till the copper distracted him. (Yes he was distracted by something shiny! You know you get distracted too!)

So he thinks it's a harpy egg for a minute till he remembers reading in the beastarity that harpy eggs are larger, bigger than a human baby actually and a deep blue, red, and purple. So this isn’t a harpy egg, thank God!

So this leaves Stiles squatting in the forest looking at an egg.

Stiles pokes it.

Nothing happens.

He pokes it again.

Nothing happens.

Stiles shrugs and picks it up.

It’s cold in his hands and he can feel a weak pulse coming from it.

His eyes go wide; that cold temperature and weak pulse probably don’t mean anything good, so of course he puts the thing in his hoodie pocket, cupping it in his hands trying to keep it warm. Stiles decides to go home with his find.

***

Sheriff Stilinski is doing his sheriff thing, so Stiles gets upstairs without a hitch.

Stiles sits on his bed with the egg still in his hands inside his hoodie. It’s winter with Christmas in two weeks or so, so he knows he’s got to keep the egg warm.

He’s contemplating about what the pack is doing right now as he sits with his egg.

Scott is with Allison and Isaac doing their thing. Boyd and Erica are most likely having sex right now. Jackson and Lydia are on a date. So that leaves Derek, who is most likely all alone right now sitting in his loft in the dark. Or he’s in the woods terrorizing some defenseless woodland creatures that aren’t hibernating.

God his pack. They are so weird, but he loves them anyway, even Derek.

Especially Derek, he just hasn’t made a move yet.

***

Stiles is sleeping with his egg in a blanket cocoon, oblivious to the world when Derek comes through his window like he always does.

He nudges Stiles to wake him up.

Stiles just grunts, rolling away, clutching his egg in his arms. With his back to Derek, he tries to sleep.

Derek shoves him in the back.

Stiles groans like a dying whale before mumbling, “Go ‘way!”

Derek growls under his breath, not knowing that Stiles has an egg, but knowing he smells a dragon in the room. “Stiles! Get up!”

Stiles rolls back over, glaring. “What Sourwolf.” (Yeah, he can make questions statements too!)

“What did you do.”

Stiles raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Derek rolls his eyes. “I smell dragon. What did you do.”

Stiles looks at the lump under the covers, which Derek just thinks is Stiles limbs or something.

“Uhhh…”Stiles scrunches up his face. “Uhh. So you see-”

“Stiles.”

“I found an egg. Did you say dragon? Holy shit! I found a dragon egg! Oh my God! What if the mom wants it back!? But wait! I found him in the middle of the forest! She is a horrible mother! She can’t have him! He’s mine!”

“Stiles!” Derek stops Stiles’ rant. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, I found an egg in the forest.” He takes the egg out from underneath the covers to show Derek.

Derek’s eyes widen a bit, “That’s a dwarf dragon’s egg. A male one.”

Stiles looks at Derek in interest, “How do you know that? How do you know any of that?”

Derek rolls his eyes, sitting on the edge of Stiles’ bed while Stiles cuddles with the egg again.

Stiles can feel that its pulse is stronger than before, and it’s definitely warmer now.

“I know about stuff like that from my family. They know a lot of stuff like that.”

“So it’s a boy dragon?" Stiles knows to distract Derek when he starts talking about family, especially his own.

Derek nods, "Males have copper accents while females have gold or silver."

Stiles nods. "So would you know why he's alone?"

Derek looks sad. "Dwarf dragons tend to get eaten in the wild if there isn't something bigger to protect them. The females are about the size of a small dog not including the tail while the males are smaller. The one that will hatch there will be about the size of a kitten when he hatches and a cat full grown."

Stiles grins at the egg he's cuddling. "Can I keep him?"

Derek shrugs, smiling a little. "I don't care, but how are you going to explain a dragon to your dad?"

Stiles' eyes go wide. "Oh shit. Yeah." Stiles thinks for a minute, Derek looking at him fondly, before Stiles looks at Derek with a shit eating grin.

Derek knows that look.

It's not a good look.

"Can you help me with him till I tell my dad?"

Derek rolls his eyes. "Stiles."

"Please! The Big Bad Alpha can't leave the baby alone!" Stiles holds up the egg like it's talking, "Yep." He nods, "He says he'll die without his Alpha watching out for him."

Derek rolls his eyes.

"Please!"

And that's how Derek ended up with Stiles staying with him in the loft with a dragon egg that they had to keep warm.

When Stiles wasn't keeping the egg warm ("His name is Eggward Derek!" "If you call him that, I'm calling him Eggwich." "Gasp! Derek! How could you! You can't eat Eggward!"), Derek is forced to keep him warm.

***

When the pack first found out about Eggward, everyone had different reactions.

Scott shouts when he first sees the egg. "Dude! What the fuck is that?!?"

"It's a dragon egg! His name is Eggward." Stiles grins up at Scott from his position on Derek's couch with Eggward in his lap.

"A dragon's egg? Where did you find that?" Scott moves to sit next to Stiles, but decides to keep his distance, subtly hiding behind Allison and Isaac, and Isaac looks like a kid in a candy store.

"Is it going to be huge? Can we ride it?" Isaac's eyes are huge as he looks at the small coppery egg in between Stiles' thighs.

Derek rolls his eyes, watching as Stiles tells Scott he is Eggwich's godfather and the two "bro hug". Derek's eyes flick over toward Isaac, "No. He's a dwarf dragon. He'll be the size of a cat full grown."

Isaac pouts, but he still keeps looking at the egg like a giant dragon is going to burst through it any second.

Lydia gets that gleam in her eye, her curiosity hounding her to interrogate Derek for answers about dwarf dragons.

Stiles has a fond look in his eyes as he watches Derek try to answer Lydia to the best of his ability, only for her not to be satisfied and grab her laptop. She searches through the beastarity for answers.

Stiles can't help but notice Jackson pouting, trying to get Lydia's attention, only for her to ignore him. Stiles laughs, only for Scott to look at him funny, Jackson to glare, and Derek's got that weird look on his face every time he looks at Stiles, but it's not the "I want to rip your throat out. With my teeth." look.

Erica comes bouncing toward Stiles, breasts and all.

"Can I hold him?" She asks as she cocks her head to side, looking down at Eggward.

Stiles clutches the egg toward his chest, "No!"

At the shocked and hurt looks, Stiles smiles a bit.

"I'm just not sure what your strength could do to him. Besides, you can hold him when he's here. I bet he'd be more fun that way anyway Catwoman."

Erica grins, leaning against Boyd. "Alright, as long as I'm the godmother."

Lydia looks up at that, murder in her eyes.

Stiles can only think, 'Oh shit.'

***

So of course within about a week of finding Eggward, and about the time when they believed for him to hatch, Stiles decides it's time to figure out an official name for Eggward.

"Derek what should we name him?"

"We?"

Stiles nods, "You are his dad, you have a say in his name. More like you can say yes or no to a name." Stiles shrugs.

Derek rolls his eyes, but doesn't tell Stiles otherwise.

"Robin."

"No."

Stiles pouts but keeps naming names, "Bane?"

"We are not naming him after a Batman supervillain."

Stiles grins at Derek saying 'we', but continues, "Han Solo?"

"No."

"Drago?"

"No."

After maybe an hour of Stiles naming random superheros and supervillains (both Marvel and DC), Star Wars characters, and fire related names. Derek denies them all.

Then Stiles gets an idea.

"Thorin!"

"What?"

"Thorin! Because he's a dwarf dragon! Get it?"

Derek rolls his eyes. "Stiles."

"If you say no, I"ll kiss you." Stiles doesn't even know where that came from. (Okay, he so did. He's been in love with Derek forever.)

Derek actually smiles at him. "No." He emphasizes on the word.

Stiles eyes go wide before he swallows and leans forward, kissing Derek.

Derek grins against Stiles' mouth, grabbing the back of his head and slipping his tongue in his mouth.

Thorin is still an egg in between them, both their chests brushing against him as they kiss.

The egg in Stiles' hands starts to crack, ruining the kiss.

"Oh shit!" Stiles eyes go wide, "Did we crush him?" Stiles looks like he's about to cry.

"No. He's hatching."

Stiles sets the egg down on the coffee table, both squatting down in front of the egg as it starts to break apart.

"I can't help but think of that part in the first Jurassic Park movie."

Derek rolls his eyes at Stiles' comment. "If you start quoting John Hammond from that part, I will punch you."

Stiles laughs as a little coppery head breaks out of the shell, squeaking.

Gold eyes with slit pupils blink up at them. Thorin squeaks again, slowly getting the rest of the way out of his shell. He's a little wet from the fluids from inside his shell; Thorin shakes out translucent wings on his back, all four limbs and tail wiggling out.

Stiles grins at the little dragon about the size of a newborn kitten. "Hello Thorin."

The dragon yawns at him, tiny teeth flashing.

Stiles and Derek watch as the little dragon eats the shell. (Something about getting the nutrients it needs.)

"We're together right?" Stiles asks, letting the content little dragon crawl all over him.

Derek nods, kissing his temple.

***

“Derek.”

Derek looks up from making burgers for lunch.

Stiles is standing at the entrance to the kitchen, Thorin curled up against his neck under the wrinkles of fabric of Stiles’ hood.

Derek hums in acknowledgement.

“Since Thorin was born yesterday and I slept here, again, I should probably tell my dad about him and you.” Stiles is too busy looking at his feet, watching them scuff up Derek’s kitchen tiles.

Derek remains quiet for a moment before saying, “Okay.”

Stiles looks up startled, “Seriously? I thought the whole ‘you and me’ thing might make you say no.”

“Stiles, we aren’t lying to him about werewolves and the supernatural, so why should we lie to him about our relationship?”

Stiles grins at him, “You called it a relationship.”

Derek rolls his eyes at him, but he’s still fond none the less. “Yes I did.”

Stiles grins, coming over and giving Derek a kiss. “But I won’t leave until you’re done with those burgers! I’m starving!”

Thorin squeaks in agreement.

***

Stiles may be on the verge of a panic attack. Just a little one.

He's got Thorin in his hoodie sleeping. (Lucky bastard. He just gets to sleep through this while Stiles has to deal with it.)

He gets out of his jeep, parking next to his dad's cruiser.

Getting inside, his dad smiles at him, though he looks tired. It's Christmas next week so Stiles knows his dad's already stressed about that, but Stiles needs to tell him this stuff.

"So how's the werewolf business that's taken all your time this past week?"

Stiles grins sheepishly. "Uh. It's handled. It's just," Stiles sighs. "Okay. I'm just going to tell you."

Sheriff Stilinski looks worried.

"I hatched a dwarf dragon egg. His name's Thorin and I’m his mom while Derek is his dad. Speaking of Derek, we’re dating as of yesterday."

The Sheriff looks surprised, taking in all of Stiles' words.

"A dwarf dragon? And dating Derek?"

"Yes and yes." Stiles nods each time.

"So why are you telling me about...Thorin, was it?"

Stiles nods again. "Yeah, uhm... I was wondering if I could keep him."

"Thorin or Derek?"

"Ha ha Dad. Both."

Sheriff Stilinski grins. "What does this dragon look like?"

"Oh," Stiles reaches into his pocket (The Sheriff is expecting Stiles to show him a picture on his phone), and pulls out Thorin, who is just waking up from his nap.

"Holy shit!" The Sheriff jumps back a bit. "Stiles! I thought you had a picture!"

"Relax Dad! He's harmless. He's just a baby anyway, born yesterday. And anyway, he's imprinted on me, so he's got to be with me for bonding for the next few weeks. It'll be fine because he can stay with Derek when I start school again."

"Okay," the Sheriff nods. "Speaking of Derek, you know you are barely 17, and he’s 23."

Stiles grins, "Don't worry Dad. It's Derek, he's totally cool."

"And an accused murderer."

"Hey! You were fine with him being the Big Bad Alpha werewolf and putting my life in his hands!"

"Stiles! Stiles! I was kidding! Relax. I trust Derek, and I'll trust you with your own decisions. But I have wolfsbane bullets now. And also. Use protection."

"Dad!"

***

"He is Thorin, the king of all dwarf dragons Derek! He needs his company!"

"Stiles. We are not getting thirteen more dwarf dragons."

"But Derek!"

"No."

"Derek," Stiles whines. He starts bouncing to a random tune, "There's Dwalin, Balin, Kili, Fili, -"

"Are you seriously naming them all?"

Stiles continues unperturbed, "-Dori, Nori, Ori, Gloin, Oin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, and~"

Derek glares, saying flatly, "Thorin."

The dragon's head lifts up, looking at Derek in question.

Stiles laughs, "There you go Sourwolf! Loosening up a bit! Oh, and Dad wants you over for Christmas."

"What."

How to Terrorize Your Son's New Boyfriend: A Sheriff's Story

Stiles is in the kitchen finishing up making their Christmas dinner with Thorin on his shoulder stealing pieces of food when he can reach, while Sheriff Stilinski is sitting in his recliner watching Derek Hale, the twenty-three year old dating his son.

He looks relaxed, and the Sheriff can't have that.

"So Derek."

Derek looks up at the Sheriff much like a dog called to attention; he has to repress his smirk.

"You're an adult and my son is not. I just want to make sure this is serious and not just a fling on your part, because if it is." The Sheriff leans forward dropping his voice so only the werewolf in the room can hear. "If you break his heart or hurt him, I will find you no matter where you go or where you hide. I. Will. Find. You. And no one will ever know what happened to you or find the body. I've done it before, and I will do it again. Understand?"

Derek nods, looking strangely calm for just receiving a death threat. “Yes sir.”

The Sheriff leans back in his chair, eyes squinting in suspicion for a moment. "Okay. Good. Now baseball?"

When Stiles walks in to tell them that dinner is officially ready, little Thorin spreading his wings from on top of Stiles' head looking like he's going to take flight, giving his son an interesting pair of antlers before thinking better of it and settling down.

Stiles is none the wiser as they all sit down to eat. He watches as his father keeps giving Derek questioning looks and Derek looks completely calm.

Derek thinks, 'If only they both knew that threats of death are an every day thing in his family. It should be expected, especially if you knew his whole name.'