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City of angels

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I always wondered what death feels like.Or if it feels like anything at all.Now I know. I feel no pain.I'm calm and peaceful. I wish I could tell my parents that I'm okay,that I'm not alone or haven't lost my way.You see, my mom always said that when we die our souls lift up and become eternal lights.I know now that she was right.

Mom ,I wish I could hug you one last time.I wish I could remember your smell or your eyes.They way you held me everytime I was in pain.All I can hear now is your agonising screams as you linger over my dead body ,trying to keep me alive ,even though you can see it ....I'm gone.

Mom,I was scared for a while.I wasn't brave and I cried.But who wouldn't ? I don't want you to cry but I know you won't stop till the day we meet again.Mom ill be waiting for you.But please take your time .Enjoy what's left of life and ill be here patiently waiting.

Mom,I'm sorry I'm gone.I'm sorry I caused you to lose your son.I miss you.I can hear you but you can't hear me.Mom this is my hand.I'm reaching out to you,but you can't feel it ,can you?

Grandpa and grandma are both here.They were waiting for me so I wouldn't lose my way.They were sad when they saw me.They wanted me to live a long happy life.Maybe it wasnt long ,but it was happy.

Mom, I'm holding you as we speak.I'm wiping your tears away.I'm letting you know that I'm in no pain.Can you hear me?Can you feel me?

Mom ,I remember how I woke up every Sunday morning to find you cooking in the kitchen. I remember observing you,memorising every detail of your movements.Of your smile.Looking at you I realised what poetry is.What love is.

Mom , dad is crying too.He tries not to show it,but he's hurting like you do.

Dad ,I'm sorry for causing your son to die on fathers day.I'm sorry we won't get to share a drink again,at least not for a while .I'm sorry we won't get to grill together in the backyard while mom watches us proudly.I'm sorry I won't get to see you in the crowd ,watching me perform,while giving a standing ovation with tears in your eyes.I'm sorry I won't get to hug you or tell you how much I love you.I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye.

Mom,dad ....Be strong and know that I'm loved and safe here.There are lots of people my age and lots of kids.

Mom,dad I know you'll never forget me as Ill never forget you.I won't say goodbye ,for now I know that death is but the window to another life.

I'll be waiting.Take your time.Live.Love.
Mom and dad ,I miss you.

Your son ,Anton.