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The Most Beautiful Man in the World

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The Most Beautiful Man in the World lives in Castiel’s building. Nobody seems to know his name. He moved in to Castiel’s building at the beginning of the summer after he graduated college. The first time Castiel ran into The Man was on the bus to his, their, building. He smiled, an honest-to-god, wide smile because he couldn’t believe how gorgeous this man was. It was like his heart lit up, and for a second he thought, Oh, I must know him. But, no. He was just The Most Beautiful Man in the World. People have asked Castiel to describe The Most Beautiful Man in the World. His responses include:

“Like the way the sun spills over water at dusk.”

“Like the way food smells when you’re hungry.”

“Like the sound that angels make when they do folk covers of pop songs on their heavenly harps.”

“Kinda like the guy that played Eric Brady on Days of Our Lives, if the guy that played Eric in Days of Our Lives was The Most Beautiful Man in the World.” He got a lot of weird looks for the last one. Especially when he said it to strangers or his coworkers. They always thought he told them to brag about having The Most Beautiful Man in the World living in his building, but it was mainly because he needed help.

“Help with what?” Gabe clunked his heels against the solid front of Castiel’s desk.

“Stop that. I need help making him see that I’m a normal person.” Castiel moved some papers out of Gabe’s way.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be a challenge. Kinda hard to make a tax accountant look like a normal person.” Gabe teased and Castiel rolled his eyes.

“No, I mean that every time I see him, I always look like some sort of dumpster troll that just crawled out of its garbage house in search of free wifi and a slurpee.” Gabe almost choked on the lollipop in his mouth. “I just don’t get why I can’t ever seem to just be cool with him when I end up sharing an elevator with him!”

“Ahhh, then he’s seen you first thing in the mornings before you’ve had your coffee.” Castiel levelled him with a glare.

No. He saw me in that maxi dress I wore to Casual Friday last week as a protest when I had to bike back home because my car broke down, and that was, like, the hottest day of the year, so I was a literal sweat monster for no apparent reason, and I couldn’t stand to look at him, so I just glared at my phone the whole time. I swear, Gabe, he probably thinks I just came from a crime scene!” Gabe laughed.

“Awwww, come on little bro, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh, really? The last time I saw him, I was wearing a white shirt that I had spilled salsa down the front of like a kindergartener a few seconds earlier while carrying two armfuls of enormous bags of popcorn with a Three Musketeers bar in my mouth, and I heard him laugh when I had to tell the doorman that no, I wasn’t throwing a party, that those were all for me. And then, I dropped my backpack while I was getting my mail and I said to it, ‘Why? Why did you do that when I explicitly told you not to? Do you like being on the floor?’ And then I turned around, and there he was. Staring right at me. And then, I fell into the elevator.”


“And then I fell off of the elevator.” Castiel waited for Gabriel to catch his breath from laughing.

“Oh, bro, you’ve got it bad.” Castiel buried his face in his hands.

“I know. What kind of vengeful god has orchestrated it so that the only times, the only times, that I ever run into The Most Beautiful Man in the World are when I could easily be mistaken for a child’s doll that was put into the washing machine by accident, or a dollar bill that’s been stained by years of being in people’s sweaty palms, or a mop with eyes?

“Sounds like my kind of vengeful god. Ow!” Gabe complained as Castiel shoved him off the desk.


Castiel sloshed into the building and nodded blandly at the doorman. His assbutt car had broken down again, just a few miles from his apartment building and, because Castiel literally had the worst luck in the world, it started pouring when he decided to walk the rest of the way home. So he was exhausted and wet, and he wanted nothing more than to get to his apartment and take a nice hot shower.

He tried to steer clear of the carpets on his way to the elevator and limit his dripping to the vinyl floors, but he wasn’t a hundred percent successful. He’d managed to keep his phone mostly dry and was staring intently at it as he turned the corner towards the elevators and smacked into a solid chest.

“Whoa, careful there, buddy.” And, of course, it was him. The Most Beautiful Man in the World. And he was gripping Castiel’s biceps to keep him from falling over. “You alright, man?” Castiel’s mouth gaped open and shut like a fish, then his brain caught up.

“Y-yeah, I’m good, thanks. Just, uh, had a shitty day.” The Most Beautiful Man in the World chuckled, and God, he was gorgeous.

“I guessed.” He leaned over and hit the elevator button. When the doors slid open he stepped in and held the door for Castiel. “You comin’?” Castiel hurried into the elevator and the doors slid closed behind him.

“Wait, didn’t you just get off the elevator?” The Man nodded. “Why would you get right back on?” The Man blushed and ducked his eyes.

“I figured since we ran into each other, the least I can do is make sure you get to your apartment safe. Y’know, make sure you don’t run into anybody else.” Castiel hummed.

Now he was wet, exhausted, and in an elevator with The Most Beautiful Man in the World. And of course he looked like a disaster.

“I look nice!” Castiel blurted out, then instantly regretted any time he ever opened his mouth ever in his life. “I-I mean that when I need to, I can wear clothes like a normal person and actually look attractive!” The Most Beautiful Man in the World stared at Castiel for what had to be the longest seconds ever recorded, then burst out laughing.

“Y’know, that had to be the best laugh I’ve had all year, man, thanks.” The elevator dinged and they were on Castiel’s floor. They both stepped into the hallway and Castiel almost had a heart attack when The Most Beautiful Man in the World clapped a hand on his back and left it there on the short walk to Castiel’s door.

“Well, this it is.” Castiel gestured haplessly to his door. He slid his key into the lock and opened the door. He glanced over his shoulder and waved at The Most Beautiful Man in the World and was about to close the door when…

“Hey, wait!” Castiel held the door open and stared. “Hey, uh, this might sound weird because this is the first time that we’ve ever actually, y’know, talked, but maybe…ugh, God, I sound like such a girl. Do you wanna go out with me sometime?” Castiel couldn’t help it. He gaped. Again. Apparently for too long because The Man dropped his eyes to look at his shoes and began to retreat. “I get it. Sorry, if I made you uncomfortable.”

“Wait, no, that’s not it!” Castiel called out. “You wanna go out? On a date? With me? But you’re…” He gestured ineffectually with his hands at The Man, “And I’m…”

“What? No, you’re…really attractive, and I really like you.” Castiel had to grab the doorframe to keep himself from passing out.

“Oh. Wow. Holy shit, and I don’t even know your name!” The Most Beautiful Man in the World stuck out his hand.

“Dean.” Castiel took his perfect hand and covered it with his own.

“Castiel.” Dean grinned.

“Pleased to meet you, Cas.” Castiel shivered at the way Dean said his name.

“Would you, uh, wanna come in? I have lasagna in the fridge, but I can make something else.” Dean brushed his thumb against the back of Castiel’s hand.

“You had me at lasagna.”