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I Love Almost Everything About You. Almost.

Chapter Text

Your feet carried your exhausted body down the long hallway. You'd just completed a test that was far more difficult than it should've been. When you thought of how complicated the questions seemed, you really just wanted to pull your hair out strand-by-strand.

Truth be told, you simply were not in the mood to deal with absolutely anyone.

You really just wanted to cry like a baby. Still, it was just one test. It shouldn't be too big a deal if you didn't do your greatest on it.


Regardless, you weren't in the mood to even look at another person. You settled on the decision to ignore the rest of the world as you leaned your forehead against a nearby wall.


The cold, dead silence was nice.

"...cuse me-"

Or it was. You jerked your head up and looked around. Was someone talking to you or had you finally cracked?

Then you heard it. You really thought you heard your name.

Instead of reacting the way you should have, you decided to go down a very fast-paced list of all the people you may have made enemies of over the years.

You didn't really know how to speak with others without making a fool of yourself ... so there were at least five people who probably didn't like you.

"...Excuse me?"

This time, you were positive you weren't hearing things. You jerked your head in multiple directions like a deer in the woods and no matter how much you searched, you couldn't find the source of the sound.


...Until it happened.
A very cold hand touched your arm.

"Excuse me? I think you drop-"

You let out an unusual (probably racist-sounding) battle-cry, pivoted on your heel as you whirled around with your fist, and came in contact with something that made a faint "crack" noise.


After panting heavily, you soon realized what you had done as you looked down to the floor.

You had punched your classmate, Tetsuya Kuroko, square in the nose.

He was lying on his side (in a pool of his own blood; was he unconscious??) and when you began to properly comprehend the situation, he was already standing back up.

Much to your surprise, he only uttered a single phrase:
"Ah. That hurt."

You panicked and grabbed at his face, watching the water fountain of blood gush from his nose.

Instead of being a normal person, you squawked but a single phrase:
"I'm sorry for punching you, so please don't sue me for this!"

* * *

"That's when I realized you were the one for me," a short, blue-haired young man calmly stated, glancing down at the white gown embroidered in flowers before meeting your eyes once more. "You look very beautiful in your wedding dress, by the way."

You were staring in shock (you almost didn't catch the compliment he gave you). Of all the things he could have said as his own, personal vows to you, this was what popped out of his mouth.

He gave you a gentle smile and you did your very best to ignore how his groomsman, Aomine, was leaning against a nearby pillar, coughing his lungs out from laughing too hard.

"Ah, um, Tetsuya? I'm not sure that's a, uh, normal time to fall in love with someone."

He simply shook his head, disagreeing with your statement.

"You were the only girl in my life to notice my presence so soon. When you were worried about my injury, you looked so lovely to me," he said, obvious affection filling his eyes despite his (seemingly) emotionless stare.


You couldn't hide the blush as it was forming.

Aomine was on the floor and clutching his stomach at this point.

This. This was going to be your new life with the man you chose to marry.

Chapter Text

You'd just decided you were in the mood to switch into sweatpants after wearing a knee-length skirt all day. After wandering to your bedroom, you picked up the clothes you placed (and left) atop the bed earlier that morning.

Lifting up your favorite pair of sweatpants, you grinned at the thought of wearing something more comfortable ... until you saw what was on them.

With your blood running cold, a loud (what was meant to be a) scream escaped your lips as you threw the pants onto the floor. Much like a dog, your husband rushed into the room, calling out your name.

"What's wrong?!" he asked, panic filling his tone.

You ignored him and watched as the menace crawled and made its way to the bathroom connected to your bedroom.

"Ryōta, there's a spider the size of a hand in our house!"

He looked at you as though you were on drugs.

"Oh, come on. We don't live somewhere where spiders can even be that big," he commented, laughing off your fear.

"If you think so, then go kill it! I don't want to die at a young age, Ryōta," you said, pointing directly to the spider's new home.

He laughed again, walking to the bathroom and ignoring your worries.

"See, there's nothing to wor- OH MY GO-" In almost the blink of an eye, Ryōta took his wallet out of his pocket, threw it into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut. "Just take whatever you need and get out!"

You face-palmed.

"Ryōta, in absolutely ANY situation you hear about that's like this, the husband goes and kills the spider! Also, it's a spider, not a burglar! Why in the world did you throw your wallet at it? Wait, even if it WAS a burglar, THAT'S the first thing you would do?!"

"I panicked, okay?! I'm not going near that thing! It might lunge at me and lay eggs in my mouth or ears!" He shuddered at the apparent thought. You were at your wit's end. (He also ignored your last question.)

"Can't you just use your copying ability on it?! The one you use in basketball?"

"And do what?! Crawl just like a spider and show my dominance?!"

You thrust your arms into the air.
"Well, you need to do something! We can't live like this forever!"

Ryōta sighed, nodding in agreement. He walked over to your shared nightstand and pulled out papers.

He looked directly at you.

"We're going to have to move out," he stated, a stupidly serious expression overrunning his features. You were certain you had been staring at him as though he just said the dumbest thing you'd ever heard. Oh, wait. He did just say the dumbest thing you'd ever heard. You almost reached up and pulled at his ear like characters would do to one another in old cartoons.

"You know what I actually meant, you dummy." He laughed sheepishly at your comment and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

You nearly slammed your head against the wall at what he did next.

"Kurokocchiiiii!! Help us!"

* * *

Within five minutes, your savior had entered the bathroom and exited. The only tool he brought with him was an empty shoe box. He approached both you and Ryōta after the job was finished (box in hand).

You nodded toward him, pride written across your features.

"Good job. Just another day for the Kuro-copter, huh?" you asked, giving him a thumbs up.

"Please don't call me that." He looked at you, then at Ryōta. "You do realize it was just a tarantula, right? It's quite harmless. Well, unless you're allergic to it." He looked at you, then at Ryōta once more. Even though he had a blank look on his face, you couldn't trust what he'd say or do next. "Did you two want to pet it?" he asked, reaching to remove the lid of the box.

You and Ryōta both screamed (and you were fairly certain your husband actually fainted).

Chapter Text

"So... You called us here to help cook something for Kagami?" Aomine asked, stretching his body across your couch as though he owned it.

You sighed, nodding your head.

"As you both know, I can't cook complicated dishes to save a life. Taiga is always cooking something delicious for me and I thought it would be a perfect time to return the favor." Aomine let out a stuck-up scoffing noise and you ignored him, continuing your explanation. "I figured even though all three of us aren't the greatest at cooking on our own, if we came together, we could figure something out." Even as you said it aloud, that idea sounded like the dumbest thought you ever had.

"Wouldn't it just be easier if you just wore an apron and sat on the counter when he got home from work? 'Are you hungry for dinner or dessert? Because I can give you both at once.'" He looked awfully proud of himself at the idea.

"Shut up, Aomine. You watch too much porn," you said, looking him straight in the eye. Your blue-headed friend who stood by the entrance to the kitchen nodded in response to your words.

"Are you really taking her side, Tetsu?"

"Yes. I think it's a nice idea to prepare a special dinner." Tetsuya was smiling somewhat at the thought. He was just given his own, special scoff from Aomine.

"Whatever. I don't really care either way. What were you making anyway?"

You braced yourself and (after practically prying Aomine off the couch) led them to the kitchen.

* * *

"...How do you even pronounce that?"

Of course, there had to be one bad apple in the bunch. That apple happened to be Aomine. The moment you showed him the recipe you found on the Internet (after you brought your personal laptop to the kitchen), all he did was glare at the name.

"It's a French dish. I thought we would start with dessert since it'd probably take the longest to make."

"......So how do you pronounce it?" He wasn't giving up on that, was he?

"It's pronounced kre-... [insert you shrugging your shoulders as you made a ridiculous face in attempts to pronounce just one foreign word] It's French, so, you know how it is. It's called ... kreeeehhh-"  You sounded like you were gagging.

"Do you mean Crème Brûlée?" You and Aomine both turned to your quiet friend as he stood beside you two, reading off the name of the recipe with relative ease.

"Tetsu, how do you even know that?" All Aomine received was a stare.

"I think I heard it on TV once." You and Aomine both nodded, accepting the answer. There was no way Tetsuya knew how to cook, anyway. That was an impossible wish.

And so was getting the three of you to cook this French dish, apparently.

All three of you were gathered at the island counter, staring at all the ingredients as they lay in their own, respective places.

It sure looked intimidating when you were the one cooking. Where did you even start??

"It looks like we need heavy cream," Tetsuya read, looking up at the two of you. "Do you have any heavy cream?" He asked this by looking in your direction. Apparently, having eggs, salt, and butter on the counter wasn't good enough.

"...I don't know, actually. Taiga has a weird system in the kitchen. Would milk work?"

Aomine gave a silent answer by walking to the fridge, grabbing the milk, and dropping it on the counter as if it were a basketball.

You and Tetsuya both flinched at the sound. Thankfully, the gallon didn't burst.

...Moving on?

"Well, it looks like we pour it onto a hot pan. Oh, I should heat one up then, huh?" you asked rhetorically, walking over to the pan cabinet and grabbing the nearest pan you could find. You placed it on the stove and set the temperature to medium-low before walking back to the duo (AKA the duo trying to understand the recipe by staring at it even harder than before).

"Now we need vanilla extract to mix with the heavy cream - or in this case, milk. Would you happen to know if you have any vanilla extract?" This time, you looked up to the ceiling and let out a drawn out "hmmmm" noise to match your thoughts.

"I think Taiga actually used the rest of it the other day to make something," you said, clicking your tongue in disappointment afterward. Then an idea hit you. "Oh! Wouldn't vanilla ice cream work? We just need the vanilla taste, right?!" Aomine shrugged. Tetsuya seemed to be considering the idea.

"The ice cream should be thick enough to make up for the cream. I believe it would work," he finally said, nodding in approval.

You grabbed the vanilla ice cream from the freezer and retrieved the milk, making your way to the stove. After distributing what you thought was enough of each, you let them sit to heat up together. It was simply a large scoop of ice cream in a (probably) sauce pan filled with milk.

"Next, we need eggs." Tetsuya reached for the carton of eggs you'd gotten out with the first ingredients and grabbed one. "Do you want me to boil it? I can boil an egg like a professional chef." Now it was Tetsuya's turn to look proud of himself.

"Ah, no, I don't think we boil it, Tetsuya." Rather than appear disappointed, he simply nodded.

"...It looks like we will need to use almost the whole carton." At his words, you paled. Preparing food was definitely more intimidating than you thought.

That's when a signature groan/sigh/almost a scoff filled your ears.

"If you're that worried about screwing up, let me do it. It's just cracking eggs, right?" Your lazy savior, Aomine, stepped in front of you, muttering something along the lines of "move over."

You and Tetsuya stood at the sides of the counter (even though it was an island, you were all on the same side for whatever reason) and watched as Aomine moved the carton of eggs closer to his frame. Retrieving an empty bowl you hadn't used yet, he placed that in front of himself as well.

Letting out a breath of air, a smirk covered his previous expression. Witnessing a blue-like aura surround the man before you, both you and Tetsuya knew what it meant. After watching him on the court for so long, it wasn't hard to understand: Aomine was entering the Zone.

Grabbing five or six eggs from the carton (you didn't count each one), you watched in awe as you waited patiently, as though you were waiting for a show similar to ones performed in those fancy restaraunts where chefs cook before the eyes of the hungry customers.

Instead, all you saw was Aomine crushing those five or six eggs with his bare hands.

"What was THAT?! You got eggs all over the kitchen floor, Aomine! Oh, geez, they're on your stupid shirt too!" Without a care in the world (and ignoring your angry voice), Aomine tore his shirt off of his body.

You looked over and noticed Aomine pointing at Tetsuya's shirt too, as eggs exploded on him as well.

"Tetsu, there are eggs all over your clothes," Aomine said almost obliviously as if he hadn't been the one to cause the mess. In his mind, an angry chicken probably just ran in the room and shot eggs out of its rear at you three like a machine gun. "Take it off unless you wanna smell like a barn."

Tetsuya simply looked down at his clothes. He seemed to be considering the idea.

"I'm fine; I like eggs."

Aomine shrugged and turned toward you.

"You got eggs on your clothes too. And in your hair." He reached toward your head and you were this close to having to kill the man.

Then things got even better.


You looked toward the red-head now standing in the kitchen.

"Uhhhh... What are you guys doing? Why's Aomine shirtless in my house?"

You sighed and accepted defeat. Instead of even trying to explain yourself, you just smiled and waved your arms lazily.

"Happy Anniversary, Taiga. You're home early."

He sighed and rolled up his sleaves as he walked toward the three of you, retrieving a mop from the nearby pantry.

"I'd say the same but..." You stared at him, realization suddenly hitting you like a train. "...our anniversary isn't until next week, isn't it?"



(Later, when Taiga asked about the pan on the stove, you told him what it was supposed to be.  All he said then was "How do you burn milk and ice cream?" and that's when you remembered you left the burner on.)

Chapter Text

The wedding he had with you was a pretty important day to him (even though he would never be caught dead saying that). When you stepped down the aisle in your white, flowing gown, he was at a loss for words. You were more than beautiful and he didn't once regret the decision to accept your proposal.

Not that he would EVER tell anyone he was the one to be proposed to by his GIRLFRIEND. (That was another story entirely though.) Anyway, even though he didn't regret choosing to marry you, he didn't expect to find himself in this ... predicament. When he sat with you at some table after the wedding ceremony, he didn't think he'd be surrounded by all these people who suddenly needed to know how the two of you even met.

...It wasn't like the story was anything special. Because it wasn't. Sometimes, he wished it was.  Tuning everyone out, he could think back to that day.

That day all those years ago. (He was actually a pretty cool kid though, if he had to say so himself.)

* * *

Daiki Aomine was sitting on his butt during lunch time, ignoring his blonde, bubbly friend who seemed to be going on and on about being super awesome at everything (all he did was copy what others did, so what?). Instead of listening to his friend, he sipped on his box of juice and the look on his face showed he was nothing short of being bored out of his mind.

Just about ten minutes ago, he dunked a basketball into a net. The basketball net was taller than his teacher's height in size. It was pretty freaking awesome. He was five-years-old and he could kill a man if he wanted to.

Even though he knew his skills would always surpass the world's, he didn't feel like doing anything. That being said, he was just so bored.

That was when you bounced in front of him, donning a cute, little yellow uniform for the girls in his class.

You two had never really spoken to one another outside of class. Even so, here you were.

"Hey, Aomine." He raised his eyes toward you almost automatically. For a five-year-old, he remembered how you had an awfully dominating stance. "If I needed help burying a body and offered to pay you, would you help me out?" He lazily stared as he held onto his box of juice. That was when the blonde boy, Ryōta Kise, tried getting your attention. You didn't say anything to him.

...You definitely ignored Kise.

Oh, well.

"Ehhhh?! Buwy a bawdy??? What is she tawking abowt, Owminecchi??" Scratch the previous comment. You and Aomine were BOTH ignoring him.

"How much are we talking here?" Aomine responded bluntly, sounding awfully tough for a little kid. The blonde child beside him just shrieked and burst into tears.

"Owminecchi is gonna go to jailll!" Kise kept sobbing, his tears combining with his snot. Instead of trying to make him feel better, Aomine could remember how he smacked his friend across the back of the head. Repeatedly.

"If you're a man, stop crying!" he yelled, still smacking the blonde on the back of the head. It just made the crying worse.

You blinked, staring at the two of them. One of the teachers for the class approached the three of you in a hurry, trying to stop Kise from crying any louder.

"What's going on here?!" the teacher cried out. Amidst the sobs, you all three gave different answers.

"Owminecchi is gonna to go to pwison!!"

"Kise won't stop being a wuss."

"I think Kise is worried Aomine's gonna drop the soap."

All three of them turned your way. The teacher's eyes seemed to bug out to the size of dinner plates.

"What's that even mean?" Aomine asked you. You just shrugged your shoulders.

"I dunno. I heard my dad say it once."

Aomine nodded your way, giving his approval.


* * *

.........When he thought back to it, that probably wasn't the best introduction. As he blinked, he realized everyone was staring at him.

"So? How'd you two meet, Daiki?" Oh.

"...Oh, yeah," he said, acting as though he'd only just remembered. "I met her at a strip club."


(After you two found yourselves alone long enough, you kicked him in the crotch and left him for dead.)

Chapter Text

"I need you more than anything!" were the first words you said to Oikawa when you stopped him in the hall. Girls gasped, guys more-or-less didn't care, and Iwaizumi walked ahead because he thought you were just another nutjob fangirl.

"Ehhhh?" Oikawa responded, delicately(?) placing a finger against his own chin. He looked you up and down, obviously checking you out.

"Please!" you begged, tilting your head upward. Your face was red and the crack of your breasts were showing due to your shirt hanging down from bowing.

"Hmm... Those will do," Oikawa muttered. You shot your head up.

"Excuse me?" Oikawa blinked in surprise at your words, shaking his hand in front of his face like he wasn't being a pervert.

"Oh, don't worry about me! You said you..." he started as he gulped, licking his lips like a hungry lizard. "...needed me?"

With a strong nod, you stood upright.

"Yes! I need you to do me a favor, Tooru!" He tilted his head at your statement.

"And what would that be?" He questioned, a bit confused. You were asking him out, right?

"Please pretend to be my boyfriend!"

* * *

Oikawa was nice. He was gorgeous, and he was perfect.

Of course he couldn't turn you down. Still, he was surprised at what your reasoning was.

"I'm in love with Hajime Iwaizumi," you had said, staring at your feet. "I know it's wrong to ask the best friend for help but I just didn't know how to approach him without him thinking I was a freak..."

Anyway, he'd agreed to help you and that's how you got to this point. The very next day.

"I'll introduce you as my girlfriend. If that doesn't get him jealous, I don't know what will," Oikawa had said, pulling you along as he approached Iwaizumi outside. You nodded in agreement, your heartbeat racing in your ears.

"I'll do my best," you muttered to Oikawa. He smiled. You were strangely adorable and you would be perfect for his bestie.

"Iwaaaa-channnnnn~!!!" Oikawa screeched called out, waving toward Iwaizumi. You could've sworn for a second that Iwaizumi glanced around to make sure no one else was there before he looked at Oikawa. "I want you to meet someone important to me!"

"Okay," Iwaizumi said, and you almost melted at his voice.

Tugging you forward, Oikawa nudged you a bit and you gave your name, shaking hands with Iwaizumi. Your heart nearly exploded then and there.

"I-It's nice to meet you, Hajime," you sputtered out, almost swearing to never wash your hand again.


You could have lived in this moment of peace forever.

Except you couldn't.

Insert Oikawa butting in and ruining the moment. He wrapped his arms around your body like an octopus and pulled you close.

"No, you can't have her, Iwa-chan! She's my girlfriend and I love her!" Your eyes widened and Iwaizumi just stared at his friend like he was crazy.

"...Isn't she the girl who pulled you aside yesterday?" Iwaizumi asked.

The only answer he got was Oikawa caressing your hand with his own.

"We have something special and you wouldn't understand, Iwa-chan," Oikawa said, practically dragging out each syllable.

"Riiiighhhht," Iwaizumi said, probably pretending his friend wasn't insane.

* * *

"That didn't work, Tooru!" you cried out, frantically walking around the empty room where you and Oikawa stood.

"Hmmm... I have another idea though!" he said, pounding his right fist into his open left palm. You turned toward him.

"What would that be?"

"Well, this is Iwa-chan we're talking about; Hajime Iwaizumi! He actually loves really flashy things, believe it or not!" You were skeptical at his words.

"...Isn't that you, not him?"

"Just trust me on this! Why else would he hang out with someone as popular as me?"


You didn't want to disagree with him.

...You really didn't.


...................But part of you really wanted to.

Because you were standing outside of the gym right after volleyball practice for the men's team and you felt like a fool.

Ahhhh, what was the plan again?

"If this doesn't work, we'll break up right in front of Iwa-chan! Then you can cry on his shoulder and he can comfort you and realize you were both made for each other!"


Throwing all worries aside, you threw open the door to the gym, squeezing yourself through the entryway.

All eyes turned on you and the sound of a volleyball hitting the floor echoed in your ears.

You were wearing a grand peacock costume, the indigo feathers beautifully jutting out around your frame and colorful feathers popping from your back. You approached Iwaizumi and his eyes only grew wider with each step you took (out of the corner of your eye, you saw Oikawa give a thumbs up).

Imitating the steps Oikawa taught you perfectly, you walked like a bird, swaying your hips around the young man.

"D-D-D-D-Do you love me y-yet?!" you cried out, feeling your IQ drop a few points by each passing second.

He blinked.

"Wait, aren't you wearing a male peacock costume?"

You dropped on the floor and Oikawa ran up to you with a sports drink bottle in hand.

"I can't do this!" he cried, dropping to his knees like he just heard really traumatic news. He looked up at you and you could tell he was trying to sound distraught. Trying. "I can't date you if you're going to try and mate with other guys!" He sprayed some of the drink over his eyes in an almost discreet manner and slammed a fist on the floor (muttering a quiet "ow").

Was he ... trying to make it look like he was crying? His eyes were red all right, but for a totally different reason.

"Oh, uh, okay. I'm sorry, Tooru," you said, jumping up and leaving the room. You stopped in the hall outside the gym and could still hear Oikawa's voice echo. He ... was really loud. And overly dramatic.

"Oh, no! I loved her so much! If only I was blunt and rude enough to win her back!" You glanced in the room and saw Oikawa on his knees with his arms in the air, totally ignoring everyone else. "I wish I was a kind of a douche!"

Iwaizumi sighed.  "Oikawa, you two just started dating the day before yesterday."

* * *

"......................................"  You looked at your hands on the table and refused to look up. The wedding band on your left ring finger was the only thing you could see.

".......Is that why Oikawa sent me after you?"

You finally lifted your head and nodded.

"It's why I 'dated' Tooru in the first place," you quietly responded.

Iwaizumi sighed and leaned back in his seat at your kitchen table.

"That makes sense, I guess; even if it is Oikawa."

"You're not mad?" you asked. He shook his head.

"Nah, he meant well. I think." You nodded in agreement with his words.

"I'm thankful for what he did. Even if his methods were ... unorthodox," you said, smiling.

Iwaizumi smiled too, eyes glancing over at the wedding picture of you, him, and Oikawa jumping in the background with happy tears in his eyes.

"Yeah," he said, pausing for a moment right after.  Then it suddenly hit him. "Wait. Was he calling me a douche?!"

Chapter Text

With a small bump of the shoulders and a smile given to him while being paired with an apology, Kageyama was beyond flustered. He couldn't understand how you - this, ah, older lady (were you in your 20s? 30s? he was bad with ages but you looked fairly young regardless.) he accidentally bumped into could impact his life the way you did.

That was a bit corny (or at least according to Kageyama), so here was another way to look at it:
He was at about that age, so Kageyama had to prepare for deciding what college he would enroll in once he finished high school. Insert a bus ride into a foreign town and an accidental bump of the shoulders when jumping on the bus on his way back home and Kageyama almost painted the bus floor with the lunch he had hours before.

During the moment you apologized to him, he didn't really know what was going on with his emotions. His hands were shaking, his throat squeezing itself shut, and he felt like throwing up when he finally managed to try speaking.

In his mind, those reactions easily could have been just because he was talking to a girl.

"No, don't worry about it," Kageyama said cooly.


Well, that's what he tried to tell you.


"I, uh- My shoulder isn't broken. Yeah." That was what he actually fumbled out while his heart hammered in his chest.


The key word was that he was TRYING to tell you he didn't need an apology. Of course, Kageyama was the prime candidate for the "Great with Talking to Others" award. It's why he got along so well with his middle school classmates and volleyball teammates. (That was all a joke, of course.)

Anyway, to slam this love story closed shut, you'd walked away and hopped off the bus before you could hear him choke on his tongue and hear his heart drop. The end.

That's how Tobio Kageyama died alone in his front yard without even cats to keep him company in his old, old age.

The last thing he saw just before kicking the bucket was Kei Tsukishima (this rude titan on his high school volleyball team) pass by his house, chuckling at how alone Kageyama had been in his dying days (even though Tsukishima himself died on the spot from rupturing some organ because he was laughing too hard at Kageyama's misery).

...Just kidding.


At this rate though, Kageyama could definitely see that happening while he wallowed in self-pity. He couldn't talk to anyone - let alone someone who caught his eye like you did - without hurting himself.

He'd be lying if he didn't have the desire to fall into a hole as he tried to go to bed that night. That wasn't the point of the story though; the point was how Kageyama became so interested in you. At first sight.

Truth be told, as he tossed around in bed, he paused for a moment. When he thought back to your face as you apologized to him, everything seemed to slow down. The first thought to cross his mind was something short and simple:

"She was kind of pretty."

His heart hammered in his chest once more, and he honestly thought that was what having a heart attack was like.

Fast-forward a few days later and up to the point where Kageyama was waiting at the bus stop to go back home from that same town as before. Did he need to go back to the college there? Conveniently, yes. He had other reasons for wanting to be in this town though. But--

Things weren't always that convenient.

Unfortunately, he had to take Tsukishima, the aforementioned titan, with him to see the campus through a tour. The tour was painful, as Tsukishima spent most of the time either listening to music while tuning out the tour guide or making everything awkwardly uncomfortable by making fun of Kageyama in some fashion. That was usually done by calling him a "king" for the slightest thing he did.

And that wasn't even the worst part.

The worst part would be the bus ride back home, the time Kageyama was looking forward to the most. The only problem was the giant, headphones-wearing, blonde anchor he had tied to his ankles.

Still, it wasn't all that bad. The moment Kageyama sat down on the bus beside a window (with Tsukishima purposefully plopping next to him just to kill his mood), you'd actually stepped on as well. His heart hammered in his chest as he eyeballed every move you made. Once you actually sat in the seat behind him, he gulped out of nervousness.

Unfortunately, he forgot about the blonde anchor beside him. The one that was staring at Kageyama with a look of obvious disgust on his face.

"Are you actually blushing? Gross," Tsukishima mockingly said. Well, if the titan-sized parasite spoke in any other tone, it would probably be out of character for him. And that, in of itself, would be kind of "gross."

While trying to ignore Tsukishima's remarks and comments, Kageyama decided to stare at the window beside him, glancing toward your own reflection on occasion. Yeah, he decided. You were definitely kind of pretty to him.

He could hear your voice echo behind him; apparently, you were with a friend and were now conversing about something or another.

"Since classes just finished, should we stop by that cafe you were telling me about the other day? Uhh, what was it called again?" This voice wasn't yours but it also had a feminine quality to it.

"I was hoping you'd want to! I get too nervous to eat there when I'm on my own," you'd responded, and paused momentarily. "It's called 'Cafe Dreamland' because they're supposed to 'make your dreams come true'."

You changed your voice to a goofy tone with the way you said both "Cafe Dreamland" and "make your dreams come true" and Kageyama did everything in his abilities to keep himself from grinning (or, well, giving a "Kageyama grin"), especially when you giggled after describing the place.

"Oh, wow, really?" Tsukishima said (in monotone while somehow imitating an excited way of speaking) to himself.

Kageyama almost fell out of his seat. If he had a volleyball on him, he would have already thrown it at Tsukishima for that comment.

Not that he could take a titan down without attacking it on the back of its neck.

"The uniforms for the employees that work there are pretty cute too!" you said cheerfully.

Tsukishima was playing on his phone (probably while eavesdropping), snickering to himself. Kageyama ignored him.

"I think you'll really like it th- Oh, there it is! It's right by the bus stop. You see the building with the red-ish roof? That's it," you'd said, gesturing to your friend apparently. The bus stopped and you and your friend exited quickly. Kageyama watched as you walked further and further away from the bus to this aforementioned cafe.

"Hey," Tsukishima said (rudely, as usual). He almost sounded like he was trying not to laugh. When Kageyama turned toward him, Tsukishima held his phone up, the words, "NOW HIRING" written in cute, colorful letters on the screen. "Maybe you could get a job at that cafe and stalk her? You're already halfway there since you stared at her reflection during the whole ride here." Then Tsukishima laughed, a smug look on his face. "Not that a king like yourself could work at a 'commoner' cafe."

Almost out of spite and to just prove a point, Kageyama aimed to prove Tsukishima wrong.


And that's how he got a job at this cafe full of cakes, frilly uniforms, and stuffed teddybears in every corner.

"Now... Tobio, was it? Smile for your employee photo!" the manager called out.

Kageyama forced the corners of his mouth to lift; it was an innocent gesture. Still, after he saw the photo, even he could agree with everyone else.

"...That smile is nothing short of terrifying."

Still, he got the job. He was proud of himself. What he wasn't proud of, however, was when he started his first day at the cafe. And the weird, frilly uniform he was wearing.

He just-so-happened to be standing near the entrance while Tsukishima "just-so-happened" to be standing in the doorway with this obnoxious, "I can't believe you actually took a job here" grin on his face.

And when Tsukishima held his phone up and an obvious, loud camera sound effect echoed in the building, Kageyama's blood ran cold.

"Pfft," Tsukishima wriggled out while holding back laughter. "This was worth the long trip out here."

Kageyama wanted to kill him.

And even though he applied for this job out of spite toward Tsukishima, that was when he realized he fell right into the titan-anchor's trap.


Still, life wasn't that terrible for the boy.

On more than one occasion following that day, you actually showed up in the cafe, usually dragging the same friend with you in tow.

And when you said "Hello!" to Kageyama (though it was only as you entered the cafe), he wouldn't have cared if the floor opened a hole up beneath him; he was that ecstatic.


He didn't mind that he kept almost getting fired for not knowing how to smile at the customers in the beginning.

Actually, the manager eventually told him that even if he couldn't smile, the cafe would keep him because he gave a "mysterious" feeling to the restaraunt.

Even though he didn't really get what that meant, Kageyama didn't mind. He was able to see you wander into the cafe on a semi-frequent basis - especially on weekends - and it made his day more often than not.


Fast forward a few weeks later after finally getting used to welcoming customers with the phrase, "Welcome to the most desired parts of your dreams!" and Kageyama knew life was going to be harsh on him.

"We decided to change up the theme of the cafe a little bit because spring is coming up. With that being said, here, put this on," Kageyama's manager insisted.

A pitiful, regretful "but why" was all Kageyama could muster as he hesitantly slipped on the blue rabbit costume in the employee's locker room.

After changing clothes, he exited the locker room and immediately realized a problem with the rabbit costume (aside from the most obvious issue): every step he made emitted an ungodly, cute "squeak" noise.

He wanted to cry. His face was shown to the world from the inside of a rabbit's mouth and he just couldn't see the appeal in that.

Until he heard the most amazing sound in the world.

...You giggled. Somehow, he knew it was your laugh. He immediately turned his eyes in your direction and felt his face flush.

You were laughing at him. You were laughing at him but he didn't mind at all. Why, oh, whyyyyy didn't he mind?

"It's probably hot under there but I really like that costume," you'd let out after your laughter subsided, biting into the macaron in your hand.

And this was it.

This was how Kageyama could regain his self-esteem from that accident on the bus when he first bumped into you. All he had to do was thank you while showing you that he can look masculine in a big, blue rabbit costume.




"...You're so cute." Unfortunately, his mouth didn't seem to listen to his brain.

And there was silence.

You went quiet, Kageyama went quiet, and the only thing Kageyama could do was freeze on the spot as he imagined Tsukishima keeling over in laughter at the awkwardness filling the room instantly.

But then you smiled.

"Um... Thank you," you practically whispered while looking away.

And then he screwed things up again.

"...W-Will you marry me?" His mouth really did have a mind of its own.

Of course, you rejected his proposal.



And then you accepted it two years later.



(Kageyama almost made Tsukishima his best man at the wedding because he was the reason Kageyama was able to talk to you. Well, until he saw the look of disdain on Tsukishima's face. That, and the "ew, no" that spilled from Tsukishima's mouth not even seconds after asking.)

Chapter Text

"Hey, uh... I'm thinking of..." Aomine started as he slid a small box on the table in front of Kise. "Uh... Yeah." Maybe he'd get the hint so he wouldn't have to say it?

Kise's eyes simply stared at the box. The two were sitting in a booth at a fastfood restaurant they frequented. This said fastfood joint was by the local basketball courts near their college. Aomine decided to share the big news with Kise and... Well...

"What's that for, Aominecchi?" Kise grabbed it, twisting and turning it in between his fingers as though investigation had actually been remotely necessary. "It's kinda cute. Is something in it?"

Talking to a dog would've given Aomine a better response. If he were to be frank about it.

Aomine almost let out a sigh. He also almost wanted to kick Kise from under the table for being so airheaded sometimes.

"Kise, it's an engagement ring. Geez," Aomine finally said, his embarrassment almost overwhelming him. He ran a hand through his hair and practically strangled the poor, plastic cup in his other hand.

He wasn't good at this. How could anyone even be comfortable with this kind of situation?

It didn't matter if Kise was one of his closest friends; this topic was unbearably uncomfortable to bring up in general.

Leaning back, he waited for Kise to say something. And he waited some more. Kise was awfully quiet in spite of having a motor for a mouth.

He glanced over and saw Kise on the verge of tears.

"Hang on, what's wrong now?!" Aomine let out. What was wrong with Kise this time?

"A-Aominecchi..." Sniff, sniff.

"Uh... Yeah?" Gulp. Why does Kise have to cry so much at the worst times?

"I... I..." More sniffling.

Sigh. Run hands through hair again.

"Kise. What is it?"

Kise wiped his eyes and kind of made his face ugly with all the tears and bubbling snot.

"Aominecchi..." Kise began and Aomine waited. "I didn't know you thought of me that way..."

"Wha-?!" Kise sniffled and Aomine almost jumped from his seat.

"I thought you were giving me the eye lately and I... I don't know, I just never thought of you that way... I always thought if I were to give guys a chance, it'd be with Kur-"

"Too much information, Kise! I'm not proposing to you, come on!" Veins were popping up here and there and Aomine's temper was about to go on a rampage.

don't punch kise don't punch kise don't punch kise don't punch

"Oh? Then what's it for, Aominecchi?" He instantly stopped crying. Wow. Kise was just so irritatingly emotional sometimes. His emotions were like a light switch that had juice spilt on it.

"I... I want to ask HER..." He avoided using your name. Somehow, his masculinity felt like it'd be on the line if he said anything else.

Kise nodded, smile on his face.

"That's great! When were you gonna do it? And where?"

Aomine sighed, rubbing his eyes with his index finger and thumb attempting to grind any built-up irritation out of place.

"I wasn't too sure. She likes the way the ocean looks, so maybe there? I don't even know if she wants other people around or not when I finally pop the question."

Kise leaned back, lost in thought. Then he shot forward in his seat, smacking his hands on the poor table in front of him (which seemed to startle some other people around them).

"Let's ask some of our buddies!" Kise pulled his phone out of his pocket and began making phone calls before Aomine could get a word in, edge-wise.

Fast-forward half an hour later and Kagami was the only one who showed up. Wow, Aomine's friends kinda sucked, didn't they?

"Sorry, Aominecchi, he was the only one not busy!" Kise cried out.

"Uh, no... It's fine, Kise. Just... don't cry again," Aomine said without even bothering to cover his exhaustion.

Kagami was sitting with them at the booth. He didn't want to sit by Aomine (or by Kise, really) so he'd pulled up a chair at the end of the table. The chair was backwards so the back was hitting the tabletop and honestly, Kagami looked pretty lame trying to pull that off (though Aomine wouldn't begin to mention how he would probably sit in the exact same position if he weren't already in the booth). Oh, and don't forget about the ten burgers sitting in front of him.

"So, what'd you call me for? Kise said you had some big news?" Kagami started immediately after unwrapping his first burger. "And ten of these couldn't feed a starving family. Is that all you could get?"

Aomine scoffed.

"If you want more, buy them yourself," Aomine said, irritation growing all over again. Kagami shrugged at his words and Aomine reached back into his pocket and pulled the box back out. He set it on the table in front Kagami, leaning back in his seat and pretending he didn't feel uncomfortable with this situation all over again.

Kagami stared at the box. Then he looked at Aomine. Then back at the box. He swallowed the chewed up burger in his mouth.

"I ain't interested, dude."

Oh, come ON.

"Wha- I'm not even asking you to-" Aomine gave up and kicked Kagami's chair back, knocking the redhead out of his seat. His temper got the best of him. Oh, well. Kagami deserved it.

That aside, why were his friends so stupid? He ignored Kagami after he started stomping around, yelling at Aomine in the process.

Aomine and Kise then left the restaraunt with an angry Kagami and his nine burgers in tow while he thought about making better friends. Literally anyone other than these two would be great.

"Oh, I got a message from your sweetie, Aominecchi!!" Kise shrieked.

"Huh. So did I," Kagami replied.

Aomine tuned both of them out because he was already looking at his own phone. He found a message from you.

"Hey Daiki, could you meet me on the roof of your dorm? I want to talk to you."

You always typed so properly in your messages; you changed a bit since you were little and you were very polite in general. Along with how you typed and your overall nature, you were a lot like Tetsu.

......Okay, so he's going to pretend that thought never crossed his mind.

Moving on, he wasn't sure what you wanted to talk about... but you weren't the type to angrily push him off the roof. So that was a good thing, at least.

Typing with one hand, he still responded fairly quickly.

"sure, give me 15 minutes to get there"

Aomine slipped his phone back into his pocket and turned around.

"Hey, I have to meet with-" and he stopped. Where did Kise and Kagami go? He looked around briefly and came to the conclusion that they must have left. Hopefully he didn't see a news broadcast about their bodies being cut apart the next day. That'd kinda suck.

With that, he made his way back to his dorm.

He wasn't really sure what you wanted to meet with him about.

After what felt like forever, Aomine checked his phone when he arrived at the front doors of his dorm building. Almost right on the dot, he took 15 minutes to get there. He must have spent a long time with Kise because it was already starting to get dark.

With a tired sigh, he thought about taking a nap later as he made his way up to the roof.


When he finally reached the top floor and gripped the doorknob to the roof's entrance, he thought his ears were playing tricks on him. Was that giggling he just heard?

As he opened the door, he was welcomed to the sight of you standing there and a bouquet of roses in your hands.

"Hey, Daiki." A smile was on your face and Aomine was a bit confused. You handed him the bouquet and the expression you wore only seemed to brighten when he took the flowers from your hands. "I got these for you."

Why flowers??? He couldn't even think of a witty remark at the thought of him receiving flowers because he was tired and was still trying to process everything that was going on here.

"Uh... Thanks?" He didn't meant to sound rude. That's just how he was.

"You're welcome," you said in response. You didn't seem to mind his rudeness and he was thankful for that.

He wasn't sure why he did it but he had an urge to glance down at the roses in his hands. Almost instantly, he found a card hidden between the flowers.

Etched in your handwriting were the words "please say 'yes'." He blinked.

"What's this mea-" and as he looked up, he froze in place. You were kneeled before Aomine, holding a ring up in one hand.

"D... Daiki. I love everything about you. I... I'm not always very good with words or with expressing myself... but I hope you'll say 'yes'. Because you're the only one I've ever felt this way about," you said. You stared Aomine in the eye. Your voice was shaking somewhat.

Aomine would be lying if he said he wasn't getting a little moved by you doing this.

With a gruff "of course I will, you idiot" and an obvious flush to his face, you smiled so happily that all Aomine could do was hug you the moment you stood up straight off the floor.

Thankfully no one else saw how embarrassing everything was for him.

"Awwwwwwwww!! Our Aominecchi is getting married!"

And Aomine let you go and turned around, finding everyone - from Tetsu to Kagami to everyone else from the Generation of Miracles - standing right by the entrance, watching. And then Aomine felt his skin start to crawl at the thought of them watching this whole scene unfold.

You gripped his hand tightly and he somehow turned back toward you.

"I may not be your shadow like Tetsuya was... but I hope you're okay with that, Daiki."

He paused. Everything paused.

Why did everyone think he was into guys?!


(Still, he was happy, so it wasn't all that bad. Even though Kise started crying again.)

Chapter Text

With birds singing and cats meowing, Makoto Tachibana was happily married. He really did love every day of his life with you.

He had talked with you beforehand about what the two of you wanted in a relationship. He loved the idea of becoming a father while you weren't sure if you even wanted to add a new member to the family.

Still, while he may have been slightly bothered by the idea of not having children, it wasn't the end of the world for him. Even with your differences, he knew he could make it work; after all, he married you because he loved you. It wasn't because he needed to create offspring for his family, or that he felt the uncontrollable need to have kids.

Still. Maybe the two of you could get a pet? There could still be a new member to the family and it didn't necessarily have to be human!

When Makoto asked you about what you thought, you had paused for just a moment. Almost immediately after, you nodded your head in agreement.

"A pet would be nice, Makoto," you told him with a smile.

He had hope in his heart. What would you two get? A puppy? A kitten?

...Then again, he didn't take into account your unique personality when he asked you about a getting a pet.

And, ah, it definitely showed.

Makoto's voice and body shook.

"Ah. Um. What... um, is that?" he questioned, his nerves prickling across his skin.

You blinked and then looked down toward your hands, which held a cage.

"Oh. Makoto, do you not like him?" you asked, concerned tone showing in your words.

"Well, uh... It's not that exactly..." he said, trailing off.

It'd be one thing if you got a dog or a cat.

But instead you got a parrot that looked like it had been through battle.

"He was on sale. And he talks!" you chirped. You sounded so happy as you spoke. "I was told to not be alarmed if he said anything strange though."

Makoto gulped.


You nodded.

"I'll let you get acquainted with him. Oh, and I decided to name him 'Burrito'," you said, placing the cage gently on a nearby table. Makoto moved and sat across from the parrot nervously as you stepped into the bedroom you two shared.

And Makoto stared at Burrito. He was as nervous as he could possibly be as he made eye contact with the evil-looking bird.

May as well try and talk to him, he decided.

"Good afternoon, Burrito," Makoto began, smiling. "I hope we get along."

Suddenly, Burrito let out a squawk.

Makoto flinched. More than he'd care to admit as a full-grown man.

"S-Sorry!" Makoto cried out.

"I'll cut out your kidneys and eat them BAWWWWK!"

Soon after, you stepped back into the room.

"Makoto? What's wrong? ...Are you crying, Makoto???"

Chapter Text

Makoto's heart was dancing; it was carrying a rhythm he couldn't quite get used to feeling. At the same time, he couldn't get enough of it.

It'd be far from an exaggeration if he said he was floating on cloud nine. His heart was singing and he was more than willing to give out free tickets for its performance.

Why was he so ecstatic? There was a girl he met at an aquarium the other day while with his younger siblings. She was quiet and actually quite ordinary in appearance. But the moment Ran and Ren crashed into her from playing around just a little too much, she offered a smile that made him weak in the knees. Almost quite literally; he actually leaned against the tank glass out of pure astonishment (despite the sign next to the tank clearly saying not to touch the glass).

Of course, Makoto's joy was also mixed with a gigantic mix of nervousness. While jogging through a park near his home, he almost immediately caught a glimpse of the girl - of you - walking toward town.

And Makoto being Makoto, he really wanted to see you smile again. The idea of you smiling toward him kicked his heartbeat into overdrive and that only helped to put a spring in his step as he made his way in your direction.

This ... wasn't that creepy, right??

Slowing his pace down, Makoto opted to walk while formulating his plan on talking to you.

"Nice weather we're having today, huh?"
No, that's too boring.

"My name is Makoto; what's yours? I saw you the other day at the aquarium and remembered you."
That'd be too sudden, for one. Plus, it would only level up his creepy factor, wouldn't it?

Crooking a finger against his chin, Makoto continued to ponder different scenarios.

Well, until he saw you walk into a small building, which looked like a corner shop. With a couple of blinks and a small pout, Makoto stopped in his tracks. What would he do now?

With his arms crossed and a couple taps from his foot, he let out a "hmm" as he stared at the building.

It wouldn't hurt to take a look, would it? Plus, he could just use it as an excuse to get something for his siblings or himself. With a quick and discreet sniff of his arm, he could only hope he didn't smell too much like sweat; as much as he wanted to shower, there were no guarantees he'd get this chance later. Nodding his head, Makoto hurried to the small store. A cute, tiny "OPEN" sign greeted him as he pulled the handle.

Smile on his face, Makoto definitely didn't expect to be greeted by a bunch of creepy dolls that lined the shelf. Which caused his smile to freeze in place as a shiver went up his spine.

"Welcome. How may I help you today?" a voice said, causing Makoto's attention to be redirected. There you were, typing an apron around yourself as you greeted him.

You smiled and his knees wobbled again. He was really weak to that, wasn't he? That was when he remembered his surroundings.

"Um," he began. "I'm looking for a, um... gift?"

Ball-jointed dolls were everywhere he looked, some bigger than others. And their faces? No. No. No. NO. He really didn't like scary stuff and this was making his blood run cold.

"Oh, who did you want to get the gift for? Girlfriend? Wife? Or perhaps a friend or family member?" you asked, offering a small smile with a tilt of your head.

Annnnd Makoto's chest was doing that fast "ba-dump"ing again.

"I don't have a girlfriend! Or a wife!" he shakily spouted. He was this close to adding "the position is open though," and that would've been the quickest way to destroy his dignity. You had a surprised look on your face and before he could do more damage, he immediately spoke. "I'm wanting to get something for my younger sister!"

With a blink and a pause, you smiled after and began speaking about... something or other. Truth be told, Makoto could only stare as he watched you speak about your recommendations. You picked up a large doll and his heart bounced as he watched you grab the price tag and frown slightly as you looked at it.

Oh, no. You were frowning.

"...can be a bit expensive though, so I'd personally recommend-"

"I'll take five," Makoto hurriedly spoke as he whipped his wallet out of his pocket while pretending to clear his throat. "...Five, please. My sister l-likes dolls."

You hesitantly nodded your head and rang up his payment as he absently paid more money than he could afford.

On his way out the door, it suddenly occurred to Makoto just how much money he spent on creepy dolls. He looked down at the bags in his hands with a both a scared shiver and a sad sigh.

Walking along the pavement to his home, another thought occurred to him.

"I-I forgot to ask for her name!"


That's when he heard footsteps hurrying behind him.

"Excuse me...! S-Sir, you forgot your wallet!"

When Makoto turned around, rather than offer a word of thanks, he nearly dropped the dolls as he called out with a flustered voice:
"Could you tell me your name, please?!"

Though you were out of breath and surprised, you laughed at his sudden question.

"I see you jogging around this area a lot and almost asked you the same question," you finally said, laughing some more.


Makoto almost confessed to you on the spot.

And when you blink and an embarrassed look appears on your face, he then realizes he just might have.


why when and how

Chapter Text

He brought his hand up to his nose.

"Ah. That hurt."

It didn't take much for him to realize he was having a nosebleed.


That was unfortunate.

"I'm sorry for punching you, so please don't sue me for this!"

Glancing up from his hand, he made eye contact with a girl in his class. Of course he knew who she was. He was just... a bit light-headed.

From the way she was panicking, it didn't take long for him to realize she might have just punched him in the face.


Even as he passed out from (what was likely) blood loss, he almost had a smile on his face.

It was a bit nice having someone notice he was there for a change.

And as he blacked out, he thought to himself:

She's lovely.


After being shaken awake, he sluggishly sat up in a bed. Taking in his surroundings, he realized he was in his room.

And that Kagami shook him awake.

"Hey, you all right?" Kagami asked, slight panic in his voice. "Thought you died there."

Letting out a small sigh, he looked toward Kagami, voicing the question on his mind.

"How did I get home?"

Kagami stretched his back like a cat and shrugged his shoulders.

"Some girl in your class carried you, apparently. Don't know how though. You live pretty far from school." Then he remembered, tuning out the rest of what Kagami was saying. He could feel his face heating up as he gently touched his nose. "Hey, uh, dude... You probably shouldn't- Hey, wait, is your face red??"

All he could do was nod. Now that he wasn't light-headed, he quietly voiced her name - your name - and smiled.

"Oh, yeah, I think that's the name of the girl who brought you home! Do you know her?"

His blue eyes twinkled as he nodded.

"Yes, I do."

"Well, that's cool, I guess."

"I want to marry her someday."


* * *

You sat across from him and he fidgeted slightly. Very slightly. Almost-unnoticeable-slightly.

It was his way of saying he was a bit uncomfortable as you just... stared at him.

"You know..." you started, drawing in his attention.

"Yes?" he asked, a bit curious.

You just slid down in your seat, looking a bit exhausted.

"Maybe you should've just sued me."

He looked down and opened his mouth, then paused.

"...I love you."

You sighed, red creeping up on your cheeks.

"I love you too, Tetsuya."

Chapter Text

You pinched at your sides and scowled at your reflection in the mirror as you gauged yourself in your wedding gown. With an immediate tilt of the head you focused your eyes on the reflection of your friend who sat there, quietly judging your actions.

Well, you thought he was judging you anyway.

"Kuro-bot, I don't have good feelings about this dress. It makes my side fat stick out," you began, not trying too hard to hide your whines.

With a bit of a pause before responding, your buddy-bear looked your way.

"I believe you've said that about every dress you've tried on so far. Also, please don't call me that."

Still, you pouted, staring at the mirror with disdain clearly written across your features.

"But... my side fat... I've even been exercising so these dresses would fit better."

You could've sworn you heard a sigh come from your blue-haired friend.

"You look fine. I'm sure your fiance will be more than happy with how you look," he answered, trying to cheer you up a bit.

It somehow worked, as you were smiling again as you stared at your reflection with two thumbs up (no matter how weird or outdated your pose was).

"You're right! Thanks, Kuro-bike! You're the best Maid of Honor I could ask for!"

"...Excuse me?"

* * *

Fast forward through what felt like eternity and you found yourself walking down the aisle of a colorful garden wedding.

There Ryōta stood, his face beaming at the sight of you. This was it. The two of you started the journey of your new life together.

Until you remembered.


As the two of you stood in your hotel room after the reception.




You forgot to shave your legs.


Your honeymoon was seriously the last thing you thought about as you helped Ryōta plan the wedding. The only thing on your mind was the start of your new life together, not bumping uglies. How were you supposed to remember to cut down the forests when you were too distracted with everything else going on??

The worst part was the loving look he gave you as he gently took your hand and led you to the bed.


You stopped walking, causing him to tug your arm in confusion.

"...Is something wrong?" he asked.

"......Ryōta. I can't," you began. "I just can't."

And then he looked crestfallen.

"D-Do you hate me now?"

You blanked for a couple of seconds.

"What?! No, of course not!"

Then he looked confused again.

"So what's wrong?" he asked once more.

You sighed.

You really, really sighed.

"You're not going to laugh when I tell you, right?" You made sure to look him dead in the eye. "Right?"

Still, he could be kinda stupid sometimes, so he just nodded with an extremely serious look on his face.

"...I forgot to shave my legs."

He blinked and, because he's your precious, kinda stupid husband now, broke into a happy smile.

"Oh, is that all? Don't worry! I'll still love you even though you're my hairy blueberry."

Did he just.

"H-Hairy blueberry?"

He nodded, eyes shut, happy smile. Why.

"R-Ryōta! That's like me calling you a skinless lemon!"

And now he was pouting.

"A skinless lemon? Lemons are sour though!"

"That's what bothered you??"

"Well, you could've picked a sweeter fruit! Something like a banana. I'm a peeled banana. I'm a model and bananas are curvy like models."

"What ... does that even mean?"

With a suave look on his face as his slid his right hand over his bangs, he pulled what you could only describe as a pretentious pose men do over social media.

"It means I've got the skills to pay the bills," he said.


You paused. He stayed in that pose.

"I think I'm gonna sleep in the bathtub tonight. Good night, my husband."

"...Wait! I'm sorry, I won't do that again!"

You slowly turned and stared at him.


"I promise!"

You stayed quiet. Too quiet.

"...Want me to call and invite Kurokocchi up here to play video games or watch an overpriced hotel movie?"

You simply nodded.

"...Are we not going to do the deed?"

You shook your head.

"...Okay." He looked a bit sad. Still. You did love him and him being sad made you sad.

"Maybe tomorrow after I become a hairless blueberry," you stated.

He clapped his hands together excitedly as he hurriedly grabbed his cell phone.


You could tell your blue-haired friend looked very unsurprised when you opened the door for him. He almost seemed like he was expecting one of you two to call him; after all, his apartment was just down the road from this hotel.

He had more answers than questions when he noticed you were still in a dress and your husband still in an crinkle-free tuxedo.

He held up a plastic bag.

"I brought vanilla ice cream."

You looked excited and he glanced past your shoulder to his blonde friend who was giving a thumbs up.

...He needed new friends.

Chapter Text

Taiga Kagami started attending college knowing 100% how he wanted to study the culinary arts. He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to do after college, exactly... but he knew he wanted to cook and really, that was as good a starting point as any.

On his first day of a cooking class (this one simply being a basic, beginner class), he was - needless to say - more nervous than he looked. At his classroom desk for two sat a pleasant-looking girl who looked to be a bit older than him by a couple years. Either that or she was just tired. Or both? He wasn't exactly knowledgeable on guessing age.

Still. It wasn't that big a deal. Something else was more important.

That was, in fact, how he had met you.


See, he was still a little nervous around girls. It wasn't too overwhelming but it had definitely been enough to make his pulse skyrocket just from saying his greetings of "morning" or "hey." It was mostly an inward reaction at this point rather than an obviously physical one.

Things weren't too bad though because you turned out to be fairly friendly. It made things easier when you two were assigned your first practice assignment on the first day; having to team up with the person you sat next to at your table made things better than they could've been.

Or so he thought. It all went downhill when he asked what you like to cook.

"I'm really good with a deep fryer," you said, sounding eerily similar to someone he knows who claims to be the best at boiling eggs. He might've liked to eat burgers but a part of him still died just then.

"I... I see," he responds.

"I don't only eat fried food," you added, laughing while fanning your hand sheepishly.

He sighed, choosing to believe you.

"That's good to know," he said, shoulders almost sagging from the image of someone double-fisting french fries and chicken nuggets into their mouth.

In an almost conceitedly aristocratic-like way, you giggled, commenting on how you're a lady of cultured taste.

He  wasn't sure what that meant exactly but he chose not push the conversation any further. 

"But really! My favorite things to cook are eggs!" you responded, still pushing the conversation with a smile on your face. He almost flinched. The similarities were showing more. All you needed was blue hair and a monotone voice and you'd be almost a weird, bootleg clone of Kuroko.


Things got better after that though. You, uh, immediately revealed how cooking wasn't your best skill because you managed to forget to add ingrediants more often than not.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I thought I added onions already," you had said once, shyly looking at your feet. So you weren't the best cook. That wasn't the worst thing in the world.

It didn't help that after each day passed, he just kept thinking over and over how cute you were.

You tried hard and while it was frustrating to fix your mistakes, but he really did enjoy your clumsy company; you also really tried your hardest at cooking. You just... sucked at it, is all.

Actually, that wasn't true.


When he got to know you more, you deep-fried french fries for him and they were, in fact, very good. Thankfully you didn't eat like that too often.


"And that, kids, is how I met your mother."

Aomine looked somewhat irritated and insulted.

"Do I have to start calling you 'Daddy' now?" he muttered, scooting away from Kagami.

Kuroko nodded.

"Yes, I would prefer to not do that either. Also, your fascination with details about my appearance and behavior worry me. Have you considered therapy?"

Kagami grumbled and smacked a hand against his face. Why tell them the story when they were the ones who asked?

"I kinda hate you guys."

Chapter Text

Rewinding a bit to a point in time before his marriage to you, Tobio Kageyama was somehow able to work up the nerve to ask you out on a date.

"Hey, you mind if we take things slow?" were his dream words. Sadly, what escaped his mouth was something along the lines of, "Date. Uh- um, please."

He still has no idea why you agreed to it. Not that he was going to complain about that.

The date the two of you had planned was set on his day off; you were free that day too (...obviously, he thought to himself) so it all worked out. The... kinda weird thing though was how he set the date three weeks from the day he asked you out. Was it that weird? He didn't think it was.

At least not until Tsukishima made fun of him for it.

"She'll probably get sick of you because you're too controlling," Tsukishima said one day on their way to class. He had no idea whatsoever why the giant had to follow him like this. Especially because he was so arrogant about how he behaved around Kageyama. "Also, who even waits that long for a date?"

Scratch that, that was probably why he followed him. (Did Tsukishima even date? Probably not.)

Kageyama can't really remember what he said to Tsukishima after that but he's embarrassed to say he probably got huffy and stomped off to class without the blonde. It frustrated him how they were always around one another these days.

Also, he was really getting better about the "controlling" part of his personality.


Time actually passes fairly quickly for him and as the day of his date with you gets closer, Kageyama has since felt the butterflies in his gut multiply. What do you wear on a date? Where were you going to go? To a park? Go see a movie?

For all he knew, you wanted to go play volleyball with him. Though that probably wasn't likely.

He pondered and questioned what to do. His phone was slowly filling up with embarassing search histories he never cleared, all of them revolving around the idea of what to wear and do on a date.

Then it occured to him: what if you were expecting something classy? You seemed like a classy lady! Maybe? What was classy, exactly? He had no idea what to even do.

Which is why he just jumped in with both feet.

He didn't own a suit to be classy. He didn't have fancy dress pants.

That's why when you showed up on the day of your date at your meeting spot, Tsukishima somehow found himself there with a phone in hand to record a video, and you stood there kind of stupefied to find Kageyama wearing his high school uniform.

* * *

The two of you awkwardly sit in a movie theater, the film for some reason being a child's story about adventure and murder without actually showing any death.

No, he has absolutely no idea why he picked this movie either. Honestly, he pribably just picked the first name he saw in the movie list.

He feels his phone vibrate in his blazer's pocket and tries to discreetly check his phone.

"Nice date idea," the message reads. "The movie was a good pick too. 10/10 date"

Kageyama clenches his teeth. Tsukishima was either creepily playing the fairy godmother or he was just psychic. He lets a deep breath in, trying to relax his muscles as he glances toward you.

He isn't really sure why he looked over; he has no real idea on how to read expressions.

Flopping his head back, he blankly stares at the screen. What was he even supposed to do?

With a roll of his wrist and shoulder, he absent-mindedly lowered this hand down onto the arm of the theater chair. It felt different from usual, he thought, as he flexed his fingers against the texture of it.

And he froze.

You looked nervous or upset, and he was somehow able to figure that out.

He was fondling your hand in the strangest way possible and

"You... You could have asked me if you wanted to... um, hold my hand, you know," you said, looking away with the back of your non-violated hand pressed against your mouth.

why did this always happen to him

Add to that how he just wanted to apologize for the misunderstanding. He didn't want you to be disgusted by him.

"I- I'll take responsibility."

You stared at him almost dumbly.

He had the exact same expression on his face.


And that's what led to an awkward conversation of you asking him what he meant by that, and him vehemently denying the conversation ever happened.

He didn't really mean to look angry with you then; it was kinda... the face he was born with?

You'd been sweet enough to not comment too harshly on his awkward attempts at being a good date. You' would only ask the occasional, "Is something on your mind?" and he, in turn, would die on the inside a little bit. Just a little. The other part of him was absolutely ecstatic that you cared so much.

All good things had to end at some point though. (Well... He personally wanted to believe this was good.)

Choosing to wait with you despite it not being his stop, the two of you quietly chose to stand at the sun-dyed bus stop. He could feel his muscles tense, then relax in a repeated pattern. He could at least admit now that he was even more nervous then before; it was a combination of wanting the date to be better and a desire to not let it all end already.

He glances your way, his heartbeat thumping in his chest. Almost flinching, he saw you staring his way, an expression on your face being something he had no idea how to pinpoint. He definiteoy couldn't read facial reactions that well but something didn't seem the same regardless.

What should he even say to you staring at him? He opened his mouth, any train of thought crashing before leaving his mind.

"Y-Yeah?" he sputtered. Even his brain wouldn't keep up with his mouth.

You only stare at him for a second, glancing downward at something. He looks down as well, finding your hand reaching toward him. It grasped his own and your fingers gently interlaced with his, and each finger that came in contact with yours felt like it was burning.

He heart was going to stop with how fast it was drumming. He jerks his head up, face twisted into some probably monstrous mess. His hand is pulled toward you, the connection between your fingers not lessening.

"I had a good time today," you say. As the back of his wrist is turned toward your frame, it hovers before your strange expression. As his fingers bend slightly, he notices your eyes looking at him once more as something soft presses against his hand.

Did you just

Kiss the back of his hand


You almost seemed proud of yourself, he noted, before he passed out.

Chapter Text

"Tooru! I really need your help!"

The smell of a somehow spicy barbeque filled the nose of one Tooru Oikawa. He didn't think much of it other than the fact that he knew his stomach was very quickly about to start growling. As he stood outside the weird wedding dress business, he thought on and on about how he didn't really know what he wanted to eat for lunch. You'd approached him for his help and while he defintiely didn't think this was what you had in mind, he didn't complain!

Still, he was getting hungry.


You'd made a couple of stops to try on dresses, and when you would timidly ask for Oikawa's opinion, he would only filter out compliments for you, whether he thought you actually looked nice or not. His brain was slightly turned off for this, he had to say.

"Iwa-chan would love this one," Oikawa added, flipping out a deep blue dress demolished by a peacock feather design. "Our tragic relationship is what made him love you."

You stared at him. Rather than speak, you only lifted your hand and gave a thumbs down in response.


And then Oikawa's stomach growled. Thankfully, you left the store right after,


"Tooru, thanks for coming with me," your voice began, tugging him out of his already-wandering thoughts as he stood by the sidewalk. Yeah, he'd agreed to help you out for your wedding plan mostly because you said you would even treat him to lunch since you were friends now (not that he'd eaten yet).

Too bad how despite being friends, he had trouble remembering your name! In his mind, you were labeled as "Iwa-chan's GF (now Fiancé) and My Ex." Not that you'd technically been dating? Eh. Details, details!

Still, he was wanting to be a good temporary date while you were shopping. He held his elbow in your general direction, wanting you to wrap your arm around it. Iwa-chan knew it was harmless! In fact, Oikawa could try to make out with you and Iwa-chan would just stare with jealous pride ("No. I just think you're kind of stupid," he could imagine his friend saying in his own, really defensive manner.).

You giggled at his gesture. Of course he made you shy about how flirty he was being and all!

"You remind me of my grandmother, Tooru!"



Say what, now


"...O-oh?" The young man had no idea how to respond to that.

Did he look old? Did he dress weird? Was it his hair? Please don't let it be his hair, he had to style it a lot.

Still, you took his arm and began walking in whatever direction you led him. After noticing you poke at your phone for a short time, you looked his way and beamed.

"Hajime said he'll join us at the café we'll be eating at!" You were happy. It was kinda contagious.



Too bad he was just some grandma who would dry up soon. (He really tried not to hold a grudge.)

He tried to be more positive. At least he was getting food in his belly! He licked his lips, not realizing you were staring and mentally comparing him to a hungry lizard.

* * *

Iwaizumi sat at an empty café and looked lonely until he looked up and noticed the Oikawa (and you) walking in. Oikawa smiled, opening his arms out - no longer letting you hold onto him - and walked toward his friend for a hug.

He got smacked in the face instead, watching his dear friend hug you.

Um, what.

"I-Iwa-chan?! Why not me?!" He tried not to let his voice crack with his frantic words.

"She's my girlfriend. You're just..." he looked Oikawa up and down faster than Oikawa could react. "...uhh, you." He looked almost unimpressed and Oikawa couldn't wipe the shock off his own face.

"Iwa-chan! What in the [REDACTED] does that mean?!"


Iwaizumi blanked.


"...Are you serious," Iwaizumi stated. He couldn't bother making it a question.


Oikawa couldn't take it.

"Iwa-chan, you suck! I hope you get hemorrhoids and an ear infection!"


Still, Iwa-chan didn't budge.


"Why is that so specific? Is this just because I didn't hug you? ...Are you a kid?"

"No, I'm a shriveled-up grandma!" Iwa-chan wouldn't understand his plight. Iwa-chan had a girlfriend and Oikawa had his left hand if he sat on it to make it numb.

Iwaizumi sighed and held out his arms reluctantly, almost T-posing for Oikawa. "I haven't got all day, Oikawa."

Within seconds, Oikawa launched himself toward his friend, wrapping his limbs across everything he can reach. Even his legs founs themselves wrapped around Iwaizumi too.

Iwa-chan sighed (again, this time in even more defeat). Oikawa leaned into his collarbone and breathed him in in a long, drawn out, vacuum-esque way.

"What are you doing," Iwaizumi stated. Again, not a question. "Are you inhaling my smell? ...Really?"

"I'm trying to remember your smell before I die of old age," Oikawa added.

He's dropped on the ground by Iwaizumi and you stand there, pondering on if the young man was really that upset about what you'd said earlier. You meant it as a compliment but he apparently took a lot of offense to it?


You grinned, a thought bubbling in your mind.

After you compared him to some young, handsome athlete you barely knew the name of, the wavy-haired brunette's smile bloomed and no more complaints about being an old, "shriveled up grandmother" popped up after that.

You laughed at the thought of his mood swing(s), catching your fiancé's attention (and small grin, you note). At least his best friend was lively enough to keep things interesting, no matter how crazy he could be (though you bleached out the memory of that peacock costume incident).

If you marry someone, sometimes you kinda/sorta reluctantly marry their best friends too.