Actions

Work Header

Oreo's And Pussy....Cats (In That Order)

Work Text:

“It seems like you’ve come back for another treatment,” Said the dismembered voice.

“Yeah. I guess you could say that” Bo answered enviously.

“What seems to be your symptoms this time?”

“Well, I seem to blush for no reason and I feel jumpy all of the time.”

“You Right Brain seems to have romantic feelings toward your Left Brain.”

“My brain is falling in love with itself. Perfect” Bo said as he facepalmed himself. He sighed. "There’s only one thing left to do, right? So are we doing the extraction thing or-“

“Extracting in 5 4 3 2 1 0. Begin extraction.”

Bo knew the terrible pain that was coming and forced himself to stay calm as it coursed through his head. His vision became very blurry and ringing started in his ears. He opened his eyes and saw that he was floating above a room. It seemed to be a blinding white space except for two people. One was red and one was blue. The blue one was focused on a clipboard, scribbling down notes with a sharp pencil and a spare pencil tucked between his ear. Bo floated down until he was behind the blue one, staring over his shoulder at the clipboard with a bunch of numbers and other data written on it. The red one was standing a little farther from the blue one and was twittering his fingers as he nervously stole glances at the blue one from time to time. He finally took a breath and started to walk toward the blue one.

“Um, Left Brain.”

“Yes Right Brain what is it.”

“I have to tell you something.”

Left Brain sighed and hoped it wasn’t another one of Right Brains annoying questions like “When is dinner?” Or “When is that one TV show I like on?” He asked that question every single day and had to be reminded what day the show aired on.

A breath on his face pulled him out of his revelry as he realized that Right Brain had managed to crawl underneath his clipboard and was standing really close to him.
Maybe a little bit too close.

“It’s really important.”

Left Brain and rolled his eyes as he tried to concentrate on his data, instead of Right Brain, which was very hard when he had to stand on his tippy toes to even look at his clipboard.

“What have I said about my personal space?” said Left Brain now glaring down at what was in between him and his work.

“I’m sorry but it’s a super-duper important question.”

Left Brain sighed defeated and Right Brain ducked out of his personal space as Left Brain put down his clipboard and pencil.

Left Brain crossed his arms waiting. “Well?”

Right Brain looked down at the ground and then looked at Left Brain in the eyes as he said, “Why can’t you say I love you. I mean I know you love me but you never say it.”

“I’m analytical and using that phrase is so sentimental. I’m not the feeling sort.”

“So you don’t care about me?”

“Right Brain-“

“You don’t love me?” Right Brain began to cry

“No Right Brain, I do but-“

“But what Left Brain. You’re not cold and emotionless. I know you have feelings too. Why can’t you say it?” Right Brain yelled frustrated.

“It’s just hard for me to express my feelings,” said Left Brain taking Right Brains in his own.

“Then I wanna help you express your feelings. Just repeat after me I…..love…..you.”

“I know what to say Right Brain" Left Brain laughed.

“Then say it.”

“But the meaning of love is different to both of us.” Left Brain took a step back and the connection broke apart.

“You don’t even know what love is.”

“I do.”

“Oh yeah, this is what you said and I quote, “Love is for procreation so we must analyze the data and if she might be a possible mate.”

“Oh and what about you with your, “I want to sit on your face and put my penis in your mouth.”

“I get straight to the point unlike you who like to beat around the bush.”
“You end up embarrassing us in front of a girl.”

“By telling the truth.” Right Brain crossed his arms.

“Honesty isn’t the best policy.”

“Yes it is.”

“Then tell me why they keep leaving after I let you take control.”

“I guess they’re not into someone who tells the honest truth.”

“That’s been every girl so far.”

“I’ll find someone.”

“When.”

“Soon.”

“You don’t even know how to talk with a girl. How can we even find him a girlfriend with you around?”

That was the last straw as Right Brain finally burst into tears as he walked away sobbing.

“He won’t find a girlfriend with me around because I’m not in love with a girl.” Right Brain sat down cried into his hands.

“Then who are you in love with?” Left Brain walked toward Right Brain and put a hand on his shoulder. Right Brain shifted away from his hand and brought his hands down from his eyes.

“Why would I tell you? You don’t care about me.” Right Brain looked up from the ground and glared up at Left Brain.

“I do Right Brain. I care about you so much” said Right Brain as Left Brain repeated his comforting gesture again.

“Then say the words.” Right brain looked down at the ground again
Left Brain sighed.

“I love you Right Brain.”

Right Brain seemed to perk up on hearing those words and hugged Left Brain tightly.

“Who are you in love with?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Oh no,” Bo said as he watched the scene with horror. “I love myself. This can’t be happening.”

“Yeah.” Right Brain sniffed as he wiped the last remaining tears from his eyes. “So can I kiss you?”

“Sure.”

They shared a passionate kiss and when they broke apart Right Brian said,

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Yeah.”

“Can we have sex?”

“Right after I finish with this data,” said Left Brain walking back to his discarded clipboard.

“But Left Brain I need you right now.”

“I’m almost done. Can you wait a little bit?”

“No, now.”

“All right ok we can do it now. But first, before I forget…

Left Brain seemed to make a box of Oreos magically appear.

“I heard you like Oreos. You be the crackers and I’ll be the filling.”

Right Brains eyes were like saucers as he nodded his head as a bed suddenly appeared.

“Oh boy. This is gonna get really weird” Bo said as his Left Brain began to get undressed.