Jason knows he should learn to mind his own business.
But in his defense he had thought it was important. An integral experience that to of missed out on was inexcusable, reprehensible as far as Jason was concerned.
He had just wanted to do good by Dick and make up for it.
Jason realizes now that the saying ‘no good deed goes unpunished’ isn’t a saying for nothing.
It starts with a phone call.
“What do you mean you’ve never seen Star Wars?” Jason pauses from cleaning his gun, his cell held awkwardly between his ear and his shoulder.
“I don’t know, I’ve just never gotten around to it,” Dick says nonchalantly, like its nothing. Like he hasn’t just admitted to being a complete heathen.
Jason doesn’t even know how to respond.“But...how?”
“I grew up in a circus, Jason. I’ve been fighting crime since I was like ten. Forgive me if I haven’t had a lot free time to watch some movie,” Dick says a tad defensive.
“Some movie...” Jason can’t breathe.
“Are you choking, you sound like you’re choking?” Dick replies slightly alarmed.
This cannot stand. Jason can’t in good conscience let Dick walk around in the world with that big of a pop cultural gap.
“Come over,” Jason orders.
“What?” Dick asks confused.
“Come over, we’re watching motherfucking Star Wars.” Jason does’t wait for Dick to reply before hanging up.
“So what did you think?” Jason asks seven hours later.
Dick yawns, “It was alright.”
Jason cannot believe this. “Alright? Just alright?” and yes he’s yelling but this is a situation that calls for it.
Dick makes it worse by laughing. That is stone cold.
"I hope you know that we’re never speaking again.”
It doesn’t come up again until two nights later.
The whole gang is spread out trying to deal with a group of escaped Blackgate prisoners who seem pretty intent on wreaking havoc all over the city.
Its the kind of mayhem that Jason enjoys fucking up.
Dick and him pair off, tracking an inmate all the way down to the docks. An inmate who somehow has managed to find a monster sized hammer to go with his huge body.
Jason hits the ground hard, and a few seconds later Dick lands right next to him.
“This is impossible,” Jason gasps while getting to his feet.
The goon growls as he lumbers toward them. Jason doesn’t know what the hell he has to be pissed about, he isn’t the one that just got pummeled like a fucking whack-a-mole.
Jason holds out the gun that he’s so far kept holstered, “Maybe a little maiming is in order?”
“No,” Dick says firmly. He cocks his head then smiles at Jason, “I got an idea.”
Dick pulls out a wing ding, and Jason still can’t believe he calls them that, and attaches a thin cable to it. He starts to sprint, flanking the guy before hurling the wing ding around his ankles and pulling.
The guy wobbles but doesn’t fall. Jason moves the proceedings along by kicking him in the chest.
He hears a distant splash as the guy tumbles off the dock into the water.
They both peak over the edge.
“I don’t think he can swim,” Jason observes calmly as the guy flails toward a buoy.
Dick shrugs and says “Sith happens.” And Jason really wants to believe that Dick has just developed a lisp but no. Dick has just made a pun, a horrible horrible pun.
“Please don’t ever do that again,” Jason says.
Dick looks way too pleased with himself and Jason realizes that he’s made a huge mistake.
A day passes and Jason stupidly lets his guard down.
He wakes up to find his apartment empty. He vaguely remembers Dick getting up mentioning something about going for coffee.
He stretches in bed languorously and glances absently around the room taking in Dick’s discarded jacket on the chair, a few of his books on the table. All over the place there is evidence of Dick’s presence. He wonders how that happened, how Dick managed to creep into his life so completely before Jason could even get indignant about it.
Jason thinks maybe he loves him a little. Maybe. Not that he’s gonna say anything. Against all odds they somehow have a good thing going and he’s not gonna risk it.
He’s startled from his thoughts by the sound of the front door opening.
He ignores it. He is so comfortable, he is never getting up. Not even for coffee.
“Jason,” Dick calls from the other room. Oh god he can smell it, ok maybe he’ll get up for coffee.
He walks into the living room to find Dick drinking something that looks like it came from a dentist’s worst nightmare.
“The hell is that?” Jason asks, grabbing his own cup from Dick’s outstretched hand.
There is a very long pause and suddenly Jason knows what’s coming.
“Its a fraaaaap,” Dick yells.
Jason has terrible taste in men.
It only gets worse from there.
They’re running across the city just for the hell of it.
And of course it turns into a competition that leaves Jason leaning on his knees winded. He definitely needs to add more cardio to his workout routine, jesus.
“You are such a showoff,” he gripes.
Dick, the asshole, looks completely fine as he waits patiently for Jason to catch his breath.
“Well I mean I did do the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs so I think I’ve earned a little showing off,” Dick replies.
“What, no. That doesn’t - a parsec is like 3 lightyears in a ship, that doesn’t even make contextual sense -”
The next night on a stakeout.
“What’s the internal temperature of a tauntaun?”
They’ve just busted up an attempted robbery and Jason can see Dick about to open his mouth.
“Don’t. Don’t even think about it.”
“Don’t what?” Dick asks innocently.
“You know what I’m talking about. Of all the stupid shit I like and you give me a hard time about Star Wars. Not cool.”
Dick looks at him from the corner of his eye and grins, “I’m sorry, you’re just so easy to wind up. But you’re right, I’m done. It is officially out of my system.”
“Well...good,” Jason says stiltedly. That was surprisingly easy.
“We can let Qui Gons be Qui Gons.”
And there it is.
A few days later and Jason thinks maybe that’s it.
Its a good evening. They stop a trafficking ring, follow it with some celebratory beers, before eventually ending up in Dick’s insanely expensive and comfortable bed.
The world is hazy and soft and Jason feels strangely content. They’re both moving lazily like they have the whole night, and they do.
Jason twists his hand in a way that he know Dick loves, and Dick makes this sound that drives Jason over the edge. And for a moment everything is quiet save for the sounds of their mingled breaths.
“You’re are so good at that, like the best,” Dick says still sprawled out underneath him.
Jason looks down at him smirking, “Oh yeah? You must've been having some pretty crap sex before me.”
Dick pushes some fallen hair away from Jason’s face and gives a smirk of his own.
And Jason thinks, oh no, right before Dick says, “Maybe I was just looking for love in Alderaan places.”
Jason groans dropping his head onto Dick’s chest.
“That was terrible,” he looks up, “Did you just find all of these on the internet?”
“No.” Oh that is Dick’s guilty face if Jason ever saw it.
Dick's eyes crinkle, “Only about some things.”
“Are you saying...did you just confess your love for me using a star wars pun?” Jason is incredulous, but he feels warm too.
“Hey you made me watch it, you get to deal with the consequences.”
And Jason can’t help it, he laughs.