Work Header


Work Text:

Less than a week into the new school year and Subaru already wishes it were time for graduation.

'Yashio-senpai, please go die in a ditch,' he messages on Twipo, not the first time since the Pres and him left the Robotics Club and, by extension, Koujiro, in his care.

Now, the Robotics Club wasn't so bad, seeing as there was barely anything to do since he was the only one there, but Koujiro was an entirely different matter. For all her genius, apparently it never occurred to her to eat regularly, or bathe, or do anything other than sit in her room all day and wallow in her depravity. With Yashio-senpai gone off to greener pastures, it was now up to him to remind her to act a little more like a civilized member of society every once in a while—a job easier said than done, considering he could barely stand to be in the same room as her for more than five minutes without wanting the ground to swallow him whole.

"We'll be counting on you," Yashio-senpai had said, ever the sadist. Subaru wishes he were strong enough to resist the way the Pres had followed it up with, "Don't let us down!" and had just said, "No thank you. Now if you'll excuse I'd like to not have to deal with all of you ever again," instead of "I'll do my best," and thus sealing his miserable fate forever.

'I love you too,' Yashio-senpai messaged back, probably laughing at him all the way from university.

Subaru lets his head fall to his desk and contemplates the feasibility of switching schools at this point in time.




frau 4s ago

@subaru glasses

frau 3s ago

@subaru how long have you been going out with yashio-senpai??

have you done it yet

i need pics plz



are you at his place rn

i'm going to call you

pls answer so i can watch

Subaru stares at the string of messages coming down his feed, and feels something like dread settling in the pit of his stomach.

'What on earth are you talking about,' he tries to reply, cut off by an incoming call. "Answer it," he says, reluctantly, and is greeted by Koujiro's face, as disheveled and insane-looking as usual.

"Have I missed anything," she asks, panting slightly.

"No," Subaru says, before finally doing the right thing and hanging up, reporting Koujiro for spam and harassment and blocking her calls forever.




"You replied to that message publicly, didn't you."

Yashio-senpai doesn't even have the decency to look ashamed at the accusation. "There's a possibility I may have pressed the wrong button."

"Please jump off a cliff," Subaru says, hanging up before he could witness Yashio-senpai delighting in his torment further.

Why is this my life, Subaru wonders, burying his face in his hands and turning off his phone so he can sulk in peace.




"Why are you here."

"The teachers were all worried I had died or something lol," Koujiro explains, deadpan. If only it were actually true, Subaru wishes. "But more importantly, w-why haven't you been replying to my messages?? I mean I know you must be busy with Yashio-senpai, but you could at least take some pics for me to look at."

"I'm not going out with Yashio-senpai," Subaru says, exasperated. God, what has his life come to that he has to actually explain this to someone. "And even if I were, why in the world would I give you pictures?"

"To fap to," Koujiro replies, unashamed. "Duh."

Subaru weeps for the future of his generation. If Koujiro is this bad, he doesn't even want to imagine what the rest of Tokyo is like. "Please don't say things like that out loud," Subaru tries, clinging to what scrap of dignity he has left, keenly aware of the number of students loitering around them growing.

"Videos are fine too, if you want, dufufu," Koujiro continues, ignoring him.

The whispers and odd stares follow him all the way to homeroom. Subaru resists the urge to slam his head against the wall; it wouldn't be good to have destruction of school property on his permanent record.




"Here," Subaru says, pulling a seat toward the other side of Koujiro's desk against his better judgment and placing the bento he'd bought earlier. "You probably haven't eaten anything other than Pocky for the past few days, right? You should have a proper meal every once in a while."

At Koujiro's lack of a response, Subaru clears his throat. "Koujiro-san," he tries again.

When that doesn't work, he brings down his palm to Koujiro's desk, the sound of which attracts onlookers like moths to a flame. Why am I even doing this, Subaru despairs. "I don't even like you."

"Ah," Koujiro responds at last, looking up from her phone and tilting her head at him in confusion. "Who are you?"

Subaru's hand clenches into a fist, because seriously, how can one person be so difficult, and by now the other students have forgone subtlety altogether, opting to ogle and gossip among themselves openly. What have I done to deserve this, Subaru wonders, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"It's Hidaka Subaru," he says, and at Koujiro's blank stare, he adds, "Glasses?"

"Ah," Koujiro says, eyes widening a fraction, as if having had some sort of epiphany. "Have you come to give the pictures?" she asks a little too eagerly, leaning over her desk and into his personal space.

"No," Subaru says, recoiling. "I came to make sure you ate something that didn't come out of a convenience store."

Koujiro eyes the bento on her desk. "Are you going to feed me?" she asks, a wicked grin blooming on her face. Subaru can feel his a chill run down his spine, his feet restless and eager to leave. Karma must really hate him. "What kind of eroge is this," Koujiro says, not even bothering to hide the crazed look in her eyes, "dufufu."

Subaru uses the opportunity to shut her up by stuffing a chopstickful of rice into her mouth.




"I heard you got Frau to come to school today," Yashio-senpai says, later, when Subaru is home and burying himself in schoolwork to prevent himself from thinking too much about his horrible life choices as of late.

"I claim no responsibility in affecting her actions," Subaru replies.

"You finally agreed to do that naked photo shoot, didn't you," Yashio-senpai sneers, and even without looking at the video, Subaru can feel Yashio-senpai looking at him with layers upon layers of judgment and thinly-veiled amusement.

"I hate you," Subaru replies, hanging up and frowning when the ink of his pen seeps through the next page. he should really get around to blocking Yashio-senpai too at some point.




Koujiro doesn't come to school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Or the day after that, and Subaru allows himself to have some peace of mind, some normalcy back in his life, despite lingering looks from some of his classmates, and the nagging sensation tugging at his conscience.




From: Yashio Kaito

Title: (no title)

have you been taking care of frau? she's been posting nonstop these past few days.

Subaru closes the message, not bothering to reply. He'd already brought an extra lunch just for that anyway.




Koujiro's house is as desolate and as pathetic-looking as ever, unsurprising considering who's inside. How do people live like this, Subaru wonders, clutching the bento in his hand and kicking at a nearby rock. He wrinkles his nose, tells himself he can still walk away from this farce, but his finger's already at the buzzer, and the screen crackles to life with static.

"Who's there," comes Koujiro's voice.

"It's Subaru," he replies. "And no more passwords."

"Password pls," Koujiro asks anyway. Subaru has half a mind to just throw the damn bento at her door, see how she likes it.

He doesn't though, and sighs at himself for it, "I already told you, I don't know."

"Go home," Koujiro says, and the screen turns black.

"I brought food," Subaru tries again.

Through the speaker, Koujiro's stomach grumbles, as if on cue. "Naked sushi?" she asks, sounding slightly breathless. Subaru doesn't even want to know.

"No," he says, now only slightly disturbed at the conclusion Koujiro draws. This must be a bad sign.

"Then go home," Koujiro repeats, even as her stomach grumbles again.

"Fine," Subaru replies, frowning at Koujiro's door, agreeing with her for once. And if Koujiro happens upon a bento at her doorstep later, well, Subaru was full and just didn't want the food to go to waste—there are a lot of stray cats around, you know.




From: Frau Koujiro

Title: (no title)


From: Frau Koujiro

Title: (no title)


Subaru smiles, despite himself. Maybe the rest of the year won't be so bad after all.