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Lost in this role

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Alycia's POV


I read over and over again the script for season 3 episode 7 of the 100. I just can't believe it's already the end for Lexa. I'm waiting in my trailer for Eliza to arrive, it's still very early and she's always late.


-Leeshy-loo ? I'm so sorry I'm late but you know how long it takes to make my hair look horrible !


A smile comes to my lips as I hear her voice. I turn around to face her and see her Clarke dreads and her fake wound on her face and laugh at her comment. 'No worries, should we get to it straight away?'


She comes and sits next to me; she puts her hand on my thigh gently and stares at me. She tells me that she prefers to improvise on set and 'go with the flow'. We promised each other that we had to put everything into this final day, let go of all our emotions and be as true as possible.


As we arrive on set, all the cameras are placed around Lexa's room. I let Eliza with the makeup crew and I wait in my spot. I feel so nervous, I’m usually not but this time it's different. After this I'm done, I have to say goodbye to this show and... to Eliza.

Lost in my thoughts I nearly forget that 'Action' has been called. I walk in the room and act my best, I let go of everything I'm feeling and I can feel tears filling up my eyes. I know it isn't scripted but I can't hold them in.


-Cut! It's a wrap for today!


My assistant is searching for a tissue so I can wipe away my tears but she's too late. Eliza is wiping them away with her soft hands.


-Leeshy please stop crying, I'm barely keeping it together


I let go of a laugh trying to come back to the real me but tears just can't stop as I think it was the last time I will be acting this relationship. Eliza has to run to her trailer for an interview but we have plans to meet later for a wrap dinner party. I go back to my hotel, still very emotional, in the bathroom I look at myself and close my eyes for a second as I try to get it back together but I still can't. The final kiss was so intense, deep and felt so real... I open my eyes and realize that my fingers where caressing my lips as I remembered it. I start to blush thinking about Eliza. What's going on with me?


Eliza's POV


The hair stylist is nearly done with my hair. I read again the script but I just can't handle it, I'm so mad about this. Leeshy and I have only grown closer on this season 3 and I'm just upset she's leaving the show. As I walk across the lot I'm trying to calm my nerves and feelings, I don't want Alycia to think I'm crazy or something. I knock on her trailer and enter apologizing for the delay. She gives me a cute smile and want's to get straight to the reading.


-I think we should pass for this time. The scene is going to be really emotional and I think we should give everything on set and go with the flow.


As I say 'go with the flow' I add a wave movement with my hands that makes Alycia smile even more and I can even hear a small laugh that died just before she opened her lips. We go straight to set, both of us focused on our characters. The makeup artist is doing touch ups on my forehead wound as I try to think about my lines. I can hear the director yell 'Action'.

As she appears in the light of the room I completely forget my lines, I'm stoked by her beauty. I know she is a good-looking woman but I never thought that it would let me voiceless. I get myself together and get all my lines out. I can't hear the director's instruction; I actually can't hear anyone but her. I see her eyes filling up with tears as my arms touches hers. For the first time I don't feel nervous about kissing her, It feels right.


-Cut! It's a wrap for today!


I help Alycia back up of the bed and see her face wet with tears. I instantly wipe them away with my hands. Leeshy please stop crying, I'm barely keeping it together.

I look at her beautiful green eyes and feel knot in my throat, I have to leave before I brake down. I leave Alycia at her trailer and rush to my interview; I hope it's going to get my mind of things.

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Eliza's POV


I'm late again this interview took forever. I rush into my room and dress casual for this dinner, black t-shirt and jeans. My hair is still a bit messy from Clarke's look, so I try to make it look cool but I think I failed. I join the cast in the hotel lobby but I can't see Alycia yet, I’m maybe not that late after all.


'Heya Mate!'


I turn around and see Lindz trying to impersonate me like always. I laugh and walk to our table with her. She's telling me everything about how her day went and as we sit next to each other I feel eyes staring at me. I look up and see across the table Alycia. She's natural and casual but still looking stunning, Lindsey asks her to come and sit next to us.


'I guess I was not the latest one this time?' 


Alycia glances at me amusingly and let Lindsey go on with her story. The dinner is fun, we all share our memories of this season, even though we are all going to Vancouver to shoot the finale later this year we are celebrating the end now. Some of the cast and crew have to leave early in the morning so Lindsey, Alycia, Devon and me are quickly the last one there.


'Guys I think I'm going to head to my bed, the wine and emotions today have got the last of me'

'Already Alycia? I get it don't worry, I think we should all go to bed' answers Lindz with a smirk.


Alycia get's ups, I follow her to her room. On our way there an awkward silence takes place. I don't know why but something is different between us, I don't know if she feels it too. We arrive in front of her door. She opens it: 'Do you want to come in a bit?'. I follow her inside.


'I don't want to bother you if you are tired Leeshy'

'I'm going to miss this so much...'


She takes her heels off, grab the bottle of champagne in her mini-bar and sits on the floor, her back leaning against her bed. She indicates me to sit next to her. I drink after her and think about how stupid we were on set.


'What is funny?'

'I was just thinking about how we used to dance between takes, I'm going to miss that.'


Alycia laughs. God her laugh is so cute, I'm going to miss her so much. Her laughs stop slowly as she hankers her eyes into mine. I can feel this weird connection again, like earlier on set. Silence fills the room. I can feel her hand covering mine on the ground; the touch of our hands brings us back to reality. We both get up at the same time and stammer around our words confused about what happen.


'I think I should go, my flight is quite early tomorrow'

'Yes, me... mine too. I leave straight for Baja. '


I walk to the door and before I leave I turn around to face her one last time. I can't keep my lips from smiling to her as she says 'I guess this is goodbye then' like Lexa did. She closes the door and shortly after I'm still there, my back against her door trying to figure out what just happen.


Alycia's POV


I decide to take a nap before preparing myself for the dinner. The problem is I can't find sleep. When I close my eyes Eliza is there in my thoughts, her lips against mine felt so good, her stare. I have to stop thinking about her because it was Lexa and Clarke not Alycia and Eliza. After desperately trying to sleep for sometime I look at my phone and realize I'm going to be late.


I enter the restaurant trying to catch my breath from running across the hotel lobby to be in time. As my poor eyes try to focus on the room, I see Eliza sitting next to Lindsey. I can see her hair is still a bit messy from set but it looks cute on her.


'Alycia come and sit here!'


I listen to Lindsey and sit next to Eliza. The dinner goes by and I listen to everyone's fun stories. Most of the dinner I accidently get lost in my mind, only the soft touch of Eliza on my thigh or arm brings me back to reality. This time I realize that most of the cast and crew have disappeared without me noticing. We all decide it's time to go to bed. Lindsey and Devon leave the elevator on floor 7, leaving Eliza alone with me. She follows me to my room; I can feel something is strange and I don't want to say goodbye feeling this way.


'Do you want to come in a bit?'


She walks by me before I close the door; I decide to open a bottle of champagne to end the night as I sit on the floor. Eliza comes next to me she seems in her thoughts; I keep my eyes on her before drinking some champagne and handing the bottle to her. She breaks the silence with an unexpected laugh.


'What is funny?'

'I was just thinking about how we used to dance between takes, I'm going to miss that.'


Those were the best moments on set. Singing and dancing to the spies girls or whatever music we had in our heads between takes. We have the exact same sense of humour and I was really going to miss that also. I quickly realize my eyes are locked in hers, a knot is bursting in my stomach and I feel my heart pounding in my chest. I put the bottle down and cover Eliza's hand with mine unintentionally. The soft feeling of her hand underneath mind is quickly cut short because we both get up awkwardly. We sure did have something confusing going on... I take her back to the door trying to act as normal as possible. And I really don't know why but my last words where Lexa's. I quickly close the door and lay my back against it ashamed and blushing.

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I'm sure you are wondering where the rest of this story's been? Well because of the little success I had here I've decided to make it better, to improve my writing and style and I've turned this Fan Fiction into a novel! It's now available on amazon, kindle and paperback. Just type "Lost in this role Alison Lawrence" and you'll find it. I hope you will follow the story and support my choice :)