levi + eren, a levi and eren fanfic.
hi ma name is levi ackermen, and i am a realy smirt investigater person. dats wut i do for a livin 2 bc ma stripper career didnt quite werk out, lol. so anywayz, 1 day i was doing sum stuff. liek investegating sum crime things idek im not qualified 2 do dis job i just do it lawls butt yeah i wuz investieagating.
der wuz a MURDER MystERY becauz sum p30p13 got MURDERIZED. WIZ MA BOW. AND MA AXE!!!!! *crack of thunda*
so yeah. i also relized a lil sumthin sumthin bout ma self, wink wink.
dat wuz da second mystory. i wuz a pure virgin girl man i mean. i am a man. MANZ. i has man parts. so da question remanes: who dun it?? who got me PREGNNAT?
obvs dis mysstery wuz WAAAY moar importnant than da murder mystory, so i needed sum bakcup.
back up number uno: erin. idk his last name cuz i just got dis job donut judge me IM NOT YET QUALIFIED.
back up number deux: erwiener. he wuz not a wizard, he wuz just erwin wid dem biggass eyebrows. he haz bootiful eyebrows <3.
back up number drei (dats jewish for 3): ma neighber ben and his annying sun jackson frum got7.
dis brings meh 2 da suspects (both 4 da murderz and da mpreg!!!)
susp#1: eren. dats rite. EREN.
sups#2: erwin. erwin is susp af, hmmm?
susp#3: betcha thot i wuz gonna say neighbor ben,didn't cha? well u b rite him and jackson frum got7 are alzo susp.
so dat wuz ma mission. to find out da mpregger and mayb da murdere if i found tiem lol. ma three buddis (and jackson fron got7) wood surely b der 2 helps!!
"ben ben ben ben ben ben ben ben," eren i mean ben sed.
"stahp in da name of justice!" i replyed. ben was soooooo annoying smh i b bout to blame him just so he go 2 jale lol who cares if he actually murderd at least dat gets rid ov 1 ov ma problesm.
"Oi small fry, u under da arrest!" said a popo, biting in2 a donut. cuz dats all popo do. arerst peeps and eat donuuuts.
"aw man ya cot meh~~!!" ben SCREAMED.
k well now dat dats dealed dun wid, lets fined out da utter mystory: "whitch 1 ov u fuckbois got meh mpregged, mmm??" i sed, puttin a hand on ma hip liek a sssassy cowgurl.
"twas me," sed erwhen and aaron at DA SAME TIME OMG WUUUUT I WAS gETTING BUSY WID BOTH OV DEM?? AT DA SAMe timE!
"no," eren answered ma thots wow he cann red minDs! "it really wuz just me, lee boi, cuz ily <3 bby cum here!! hug me!"
erwen be liek, "he rite, butt if u b wid me, i gotta bag ov tastey hamburgerz in da back ov ma white pedo van, just 4 u bby<<<<3"
i wuz confliceted. who do i go wid? ma bby's daddie, or da man wid da tastey burgersz?
***A/N: YOU DECIDE SQUidWARD! if you want levi2 stay with his baby daddy, read after the ~KYA~ symbol! if you want him to chase those juicy hamburgers, read normally***
(continued normal reading/option 2)
u iz wrung reader i wood NEVR IN MA LYFE abandanon da second half of ma OTP! SCREW U!!!!!1!!1
"DAM U eyebrows U NO Im ON A DIET HOW CULD U!!!" leivi i mean me sed 2 erwlose, throwin a baby whale at his face.
"cum on, levi-heichou, lets ried away in da sun!" erenz cryed. "bbaby i know i havent always been da best fuckboi, and ill probs loose our bby wen u births itte, butt i;ll try, bby. ill try 2 chang 4 u bby, i can change i sware."
"STFU EREN im going int0 lab0r!!!" i SCREAMEDDD!!!
i gave birf. to a hotdogg bun. i thut 4 sure it woulda been a chkicken nugget, but nope man it wuz 4sureizies a bun. no doubt bout dat.
"let's named it jakcsun frum got7." sugtgestsed ma new husbanda/fuckboi aren.
"ew no wut r u a kpoopper?" i screched. "were naming it rawrXD cuz its a scene bun. nizzles!~~~"
sudenlee tho a eagle (murican bald 1 wth we in englend) swooped n and beak snatched rawrXD da bby bun frum me hand. wtf dat wuz ma bby bun knot da eagles! dum ol murica.
"dam i wanted to eat it!" i admiteed oops.
"gurl bye if u aint got da bby no moar nuttin iz holdin me 2 ya!" eren luahged.
haha it wuz kind ov funnie.
eren jumped. into a warphole. he ded lol.
dats ma storie.
da story of levi ackermoan. da fuckboi whom lived.