“I have such doubt.” Sister Aloysius admitted as a sob caught in her throat.
Sister James laid her head in the older nun’s lap. A gesture which was meant to reassure her but which Sister James quickly realized was her own need for reassurances. Aloysius was the calm in the storm; she’d been Sister James’s moral compass and it pained her to see the woman with so much hopelessness.
Sister Aloysius’s chest wracked as she struggled to hold back her tears. Sister James squeezed her eyes shut, wrapping her arms around Aloysius’s legs, holding her tightly. She couldn’t watch Aloysius fall apart but she would remain as long as she needed; she could never walk away from her.
A knock came on her door and Aloysius beckoned the knocker to enter. She looked up to see Sister James and her big, pleading eyes. “Sister James.” She said softly, sitting on the bed and patting the spot next to her. “Sit.”
Sister James did as she was asked.
“I should never have put you in the position that I did earlier. I should not have burdened you - ”
Sister James threw her arms around Aloysius’s neck, pulling her close and holding her tight. Sister Aloysius wrapped her arms around the young woman’s waist. They remained in the embrace for several minutes before Sister James pulled back, cupping Aloysius’s cheeks and planting kisses on her lips.
Sister Aloysius’s surprise must have been evident because Sister James pulled back, blushing, trying to apologize. Aloysius captured her lips, deepening the kiss; Sister James whimpered desperately, clutching at the fabric of Aloysius’s habit.
The girl’s frantic fumbling briefly reminded Aloysius of Sister James’s youth and inexperience but her boldness and eagerness spurred her on. Sister James laid on the bed, pulling Aloysius with her and Aloysius covered her body with her own.
Some days it seemed that her sexual life was a lifetime ago but, as Sister James’s curious hands groped along, her body was alight with desire. When Sister James’s hands first made contact with the skin beneath her robes, Sister Aloysius knew that she should stop her but she couldn’t bring herself to deny the girl.
“Can I stay here tonight?” Sister James whispered against Aloysius’s throat.
Aloysius could only swallow, though her mouth had gone dry, and nod. Aloysius tipped her head back and Sister James peppered her exposed neck with kisses.