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“I told you it was a bad idea, Octavia. I told you that coming to the middle of nowhere to clear my mind or whatever was a fucked up plan. But of course you didn’t listen to me.” She raises her head, glaring at the brunette and sighing deeply before burying her head in her hands one more time, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders and her next words coming out muffled and broken. “I really hate you right now, O. And not like in the other times I said it to you. This time I really meant it.”

Octavia rolls her eyes at Clarke’s antics, quickly forcing them to move back to the empty dirt road next to them and sighing exasperatedly when she confirms that they are, indeed, in the middle of nowhere.

A quick glance at her phone confirms that they don’t have cell phone reception, and when she admits defeat and lets the frustration take over her body she storms towards the car they rented at the Denver airport, kicking its wheel and yelping at the pain that spreads across her foot.

Ignoring Clarke’s pointed look, she squints her eyes at the horizon, barely able to spot the mountains outline in the increasing darkness. Soon booth of her elbows are pressed against the hood of the useless rented car and her head is buried in her hands, and she forces herself to take deep breathes, hoping they will help her to keep her rage at bay.

The tactic isn’t effective.

“It is an awesome plan, and if you were thinking about anything other than your own misery you would be able to acknowledge that.” She sighs deeply before turning to Clarke, spotting the wide blue orbs staring at her through the darkness. “We wer-, no, we are going to have twenty one days of peace and happiness. Plus, it’s not my fault if the car you chose at the car rental stopped working in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the fucking night.” Clarke grunts loudly, hiding her face in her palms another time, and Octavia breathes deeply again, stepping towards her, doing her best to gather some patience and mentally listing all the bad things that had happened to Clarke in the past months. Or years. “Come on Griffin. Don’t be a spoiled brat. Talk to me. It’s not like we have anything to do here, anyway.” Nothing. When she is about to admit defeat and sit next to her friend with her mouth shut the memory of something that Lincoln had told her about his childhood crosses her mind. “If I were you I would be grumpy on my feet. I heard that snakes and grass have a thing for each other.”

Clarke stands up quickly, wide eyes scanning her surroundings, and walks hurriedly towards the middle of the road. She grunts loudly, her eyes landing on the spot she was occupying a few seconds ago.

“I hate you, Octavia.” She steps back, creating some distance between them and letting her eyes wander around one more time. “If you don’t come up with an idea to fix up this situation I swear to –“

Patience has limits, and Clarke just crossed Octavia’s.

“I’m not your fucking punching bag, Clarke.” She steps forward, pointing a finger at Clarke and gazing at her with piercing eyes and a clenched jaw, raising considerably her own voice. “I know you’ve been going through some shit lately but none of those things were my fault so lower your fucking voice.”  

She speaks the last word in a low, paused voice, and another groan leaves Clarke’s lips, whose own jaw is also clenched now.

“Why didn’t you let me enjoy my bad mood in the comfort of my house, Octavia? Why you’re always coming up with crazy ideas?” She steps back again, her voice shaky and husky, low. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Because I care about you, you ungrateful idiot. You’re my best friend and I care about you more than I’d like to admit and kills me seeing you walking around with red rimmed eyes and without a single drop of creativity in your body.” She closes her eyes for a brief second, sighing deeply to try to control her increasing rage. “It isn’t just a bad mood, Clarke. You’ve been fucking mess for ages. Your anxiety is gushing out of your ears and everyone can see that you’re completely lost and absolutely miserable. I thought being far from everything and everyone could help you.” She takes a deep breath, shaking her head and snorting. “But you know what? Nothing will help you now because you don’t wan-“

The sound of a car cuts Octavia off and she turns to look at the source of the noise, moaning contentedly when she spots two bright lights dancing through the darkness and coming towards them.

She glances quickly at Clarke, nodding inquisitively at her, and she shrugs nonchalantly. And just like that their decision is made, in an apparently temporary truce.

Possibly being murdered is a better probability than certain death eaten by a snake while having a yelling match.”

Octavia rolls her eyes, but smile.

“I’m glad to see that your sense of humor wasn’t amongst the things you lost in these past months.” She turns to face the road, raising both arms in the air and waving them vigorously, yelling like a damsel in distress. Clarke winces at her tone and roll her eyes at the absurd of the situation, but steps aside, standing closer to Octavia and hopping her display of energy will be enough to catch the driver’s attention.

It’s just when the headlights flash towards them that Octavia lowers her arms and exhales deeply before going quiet, turning her head to look at Clarke with pleading and tired eyes.

“Don’t be a jerk to the driver, right Princess? They are our only option now.”

Clarke nods at her quickly, having the decency to look somewhat ashamed, and stepping behind Octavia as soon as the old car stops next to them.

Immediately the passenger window is lowering and a pair of deep green eyes is staring at them.

“Good night.” A brunette woman is leaning towards the passenger seat, oil smudged on her cheeks and above one of her eyebrows, and a stoic, almost cold expression on her face. “Do you need some help?”

Octavia leans against the window, locking eyes with the stranger and sighing tiredly.

“Considering the fact we need to go to this ranch near McCoy and our rented car stopped working and our phones aren’t working as well, I’d say the answer to your question is yes. A ride to McCoy would be much appreciated, thank you so much.”

The woman nods shortly, hesitating only for a split second before unbuckling her seatbelt.

“I suppose you’re heading for the Woods’ land.” Octavia nods promptly and she opens her door, exiting the pickup. Octavia frowns slightly before glancing quickly at Clarke, and then she walks towards the front of the vehicle, closely followed by her. “I can do better than driving you to McCoy, then.”

The frown on Octavia’s forehead deepens and suddenly her eyes are widening.

“Holy shit, you’re Lexa Woods. Lincoln’s mysterious cousin.”

She nods shortly, her eyes locked with Octavia’s, so she misses the way Clarke’s head tilts towards her and the mumbled the author that leaves her lips.

“In the flesh.” She glances at the pickup, placing a hand over its hood. “I already needed to stop twice to fix its engine, so I can’t promise you we will experience an uneventful ride. But I can help you.”

“And what about our car?”

Octavia’s head snaps towards Clarke, her teeth gritted.

“Clarke, it –“

“Someone will come here in the morning to winch it. The Woods are, basically, the only ones who use this dirty road, so you don’t need to worry about it.” If Lexa was bothered by Clarke’s bitter tone it doesn’t show, and Octavia releases a small but relieved sigh. “Will you accept my offer, Octavia?”

“You know who I am.”

Lexa nods shortly again, clearly unfazed by Octavia’s excited tone.

“Anya is expecting you. Of course I know who you are.”

Octavia refrains herself for rolling her eyes at her and for pointing out how great a friendship between Lexa and Clarke would be, settling for nodding instead.

“Yes. We are accepting your offer.” She turns, walking towards their car. “It’s a good thing I recognized you. No way I would have jumped on your passenger seat if I hadn’t. You’re all stoic and your lines are sharp and very well defined and if I didn’t know you’re an author I’d think you’re a serial killer.” She opens the driver’s door, opening the trunk before walking towards it. “What, to be fair, it’s almost the same thing. I mean, you kill characters not to kill people, right?” She pulls a suitcase from the trunk, and Lexa watches her struggling with the task for a few seconds before walking towards her. “But, to be fair again, I never read your books, so I don’t know if you are the kind of psycho writer who kills lots of characters. You know, the ones also known as Shonda Rhymes’s pupils.” She chuckles at her own joke, accepting Lexa’s help before reaching for another suitcase. “Anyway, hm, thank you. For gently offering us a ride.” Lexa nods at her one more time, still unfazed by the shorter brunette’s behavior and already heading for the pickup. Octavia closes the trunk of their car before following her, dragging the other suitcase with her. “Oh, and by the way, the woman after your own heart is Clarke. I promise you she will make Abby proud by having some good manners eventually.

Clarke rolls her eyes when Lexa glances at her, folding her arms in front of her chest and staring defiantly at her.

“Can we leave now or you intend to keep bounding here, really far from any trace of civilization?”

Octavia glares at her but she just keeps staring at Lexa, who tucks both of their suitcases into the trunk of her pickup before closing its rear door and cleaning her palms on her jeans.

“Of course we can. Bounding would be a waste of time when only one of us seems to be really interested on it.”

Octavia roll her eyes hard, walking towards their car another time and gathering all their personal items before locking it.

“Okay, grumpy ladies. Let’s go home.”

Lexa nods before walking towards the passenger’s door, pulling it fiercely until it opens with a loud crack.

“How old is this thing?”

“I don’t think Raven would appreciate you calling her baby a thing, so refrain to do that in front of her. Also, it’s not polite asking a lady her age.” Octavia snorts, mumbling my apologies before entering the vehicle. Lexa waits for Clarke to do the same and then slams the door, walking slowly towards the other side of the pickup. “This is a Chevy 54.” She doesn’t add anything, and Clarke and Octavia stare at her hand attentively while she turns the key, hearing the engine choking a few times before starting. “A Chevy 54 that is having such a bad day.” She sighs tiredly, glancing at the rearview mirror by habit before turning the wheel. “I spent almost three hours trying to understand what is wrong with it but mechanics isn’t my strongest skill.”

Octavia snorts at that, glancing at Lexa and smirking.

“Well, based on the amount of oil that you have on your face, shirt and pants I would dare to say that mechanics isn’t a skill of yours at all.”

Lexa’s lips curl into a small smile and when she glances at Octavia her eyes lock with Clarke’s for a split second.

When blonde looks away she already knows that Octavia’s idea may not be that bad after all.

Chapter Text

“I didn’t know you would be here.”

Octavia gives up on her attempt to turn on the radio before glancing at Lexa, and she doesn’t miss the way her grip on the steering wheel tightens.

“That is not of your concern.” Octavia’s eyes widen, and even Clarke stops staring through the mirror to glance at Lexa. “That was totally out of line. I apolo –“

“No.” Octavia shakes her head quickly, her fingers reaching for the radio again. “You are right. It is none of my business, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

Lexa nods shortly, and they go back to the tense silence they were sharing since the pickup started to move.

But it doesn’t last long.

“I went through some things and Anya and Raven decided I needed to clear my mind. So here I am.”

Clarke scoffs, the corners of her lips turning into a grin.

“I’m starting to think we have more in common than our hotness, Lexa.” Octavia’s eyes widen again, and she glances at a blushing Lexa before glaring at Clarke, who just shrugs, no trace of guilty in her expression. “So, it helps?”

A few seconds pass before Lexa nods, her eyes never leaving the road.

“It does. If you’re ready to receive the help.”

A frown forms on Clarke’s forehead, but before she could say anything Octavia is turning to face Lexa, her tone forcedly cheerful.

“Lincoln is always babbling about the Ranch and its awesomeness. Is his opinion biased or I’ll not be disappointed at all?”

“You will not be disappointed.” She glances at her right, her eyes searching for Clarke’s, despite her words being directed to Octavia. “My great-grandfather built it in 1939, and when he died in an accident, in 1952, my grandfather took command of it. He was only seventeen, but despite his lack of experience, he did a great job with the Ranch, and in 1956 it was open to the public.”

“Oh, so it’s a resort kind of ranch. I didn’t know that.”

Lexa shakes her head, her focus back on the road.

“Not anymore. My grandfather hired some people who ended stealing a large amount of money from him. He trusted on the wrong people and soon he was broken and the ranch slowly turned into ruins.”

“Oh. But you said I wouldn’t be disappointed.”

“And you will not.” She glances at Octavia, who is staring at her curiously. “Gustus loved the farm life, and when my grandfather gave up he became the head of the family business. He did an amazing job rebuilding the Ranch, but decided not to open it to the public again.” Octavia is staring attentively at Lexa, who has caught Clarke’s attention too. “Indra, Niko and my father left the ranch when they were very young. They all graduated and became successful on their careers. And despite not wanting to live here, all of them invested some money to rebuild it.”

“Got it. So it’s just a fancy home, nowadays?”

A small smile form on Lexa’s lips, and Octavia is sure she would giggle, if she was the giggling kind.

“Yes and no. Since Gustus died Anya is the one running the business, and she found other ways to earn money with the ranch.” She glances at the other women one more time, quickly. “Anya was six when Indra moved to England to become the head of a very powerful law firm, and she was sent to the ranch to live with Gustus. I already lived there with him and they thought it would be better for us growing up together. Lincoln usually joined us during his school breaks.”

Octavia nods, but before she has the change to say anything Clarke is speaking.

“For someone who doesn’t like to talk, you talk a lot.”

Octavia’s head snaps towards the blonde, whose eyes are focused on Lexa.

“For someone who appreciates civilization so much, you have the manners of a barbarian.”

Octavia’s eyes go wide, and she stares worriedly at Clarke, ready to clamp a hand over her mouth if necessary. But the blonde just snorts, shrugging.

“Fair enough.” Octavia looks back at Lexa, whose fingers loosen the grip around the steering wheel, and a low sigh of relief leaves her lips. “Anyway, keep going. The story of the ranch is very interesting.”

Several seconds pass before Lexa nods.

“So, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” Clarke scoffs loudly, but Lexa doesn’t seem to be bothered by it “Anya runs the place now, and she rents it as a location for movies and TV shows. It’s a very lucrative business.” She glances quickly at Clarke, the hint of a smile on her lips. “And the ranch is also a place which people visit when they need to clear their minds, apparently.”

A small grin form on Clarke’s lips, and Lexa’s own expression relaxes slightly.

“Netflix is producing a lot of cool stuff lately, you know. I bet they would love to add a TV show about the thrilling story about all the efforts to save the ranch to their catalogue.” Her eyes wander to the window, her smile widening. “The Woods.”

“It would probably be a success, to be fair.” Lexa shrugs, her eyes fixed on the road. “It has angst, lots of stubborn and good looking people and tons of dirty secrets. Everything the audience wants.”

Clarke’s eyebrow arches suggestively when she turns to look at Lexa, the tip of her tongue poking out of her teeth.

“Dirty secrets, huh?”

Octavia rolls her eyes at the conversation, her presence clearly forgotten by the other women.

 “Dirtier than you would be able to imagine.”

Clarke snorts loudly, but the smile remains on her lips.

“Shut up, Lexa. Just drive.”

“You what?”

Lexa ignore Raven’s pointedly look, doing her best to keep her eyes on the pickup’s engine.

“I told her the Ranch’s story.”

“But you don’t tell the story of your family to anyone, Lexa!” Raven shakes her head, snorting loudly. “Damn, I’m sure even I don’t know the juicy parts of it yet and we have been friends for more than a decade.”

“I didn’t tell her the juicy details, Raven. I didn’t even told her about my parents.” She shrugs, seeming a little unsure. “I gave her the short version, which you already know by heart. No need to be jealous. Or to threaten me with this screwdriver.”

Ravens snorts lowly before turning to the open hood again, handing the tool for Lexa.

“It’s a wrench, you idiot.”

She grabs the wrench, shrugging, distress barely noticeable on her expression.

“You’re the Mechanic Engineer here, Rae. Knowing these incredible difficult things is your job, not mine.” Raven rolls her eyes, but doesn’t stop working on the engine.”

“It’s just –“ she stops for a minute, shrugging one more time. “They asked about the reason for me to be here, Rae. I’d rather to tell the length version of my family’s story on Jimmy Kimmel’s than answering this question.”

“Nope. I’m not accepting this lame excuse. Both of us know you would have avoided their questions with you wanted too.”

Lexa sighs before leaning against the side of the pickup, folding her arms in front of her chest.

“She kept staring at me with those fierce, honest blue eyes, and I –“

“I didn’t think anyone but Anya could make you afraid.” She snorts, still focused on her task. “Indra’s glares make me shit my paints and you barely acknowledge them, but here you are, pissing your boy shorts because of a blonde bimbo.”

“You don’t know anything about her intelligence, Raven. You shouldn’t make assumptions based on idiot stereotypes.” Raven scoffs, mumbling whatever, and Lexa rolls her eyes. “Moreover, I’m not afraid of her. But she challenged me –“ she hands Raven the wrench which is still on her hand when she outstretches her arm, shrugging “I mean, everything about her was saucy. The glares, the questions, the answers. Her posture, the way she kept her chin lifted even when her eyes were telling me she wasn’t so sure about the words which were leaving her mouth. She teased me, just to watch me squirm.” She shrugs again, doing her best for the gesture to seem nonchalant. “I’m not used to be challenged, so I’m intrigued by her behavior. That’s all.”

Raven nods, but when she glances at Lexa a smirk is on her lips.

“So you didn’t notice her amazing breasts?”

“Raven, it’s not polite to stare at a woman’s cleavage.”

“Good thing I’m not a polite person, then.” Lexa rolls her eyes, snorting. “Come on Lex, you’re telling me you didn’t notice how bangable she is? Seriously?”

“Raven, rude.”

“Okay, then. I’ll stop being rude. But I need to let you know that you don’t fool me, missy. I know very well that you’re way more than just intrigued by her behavior. But if you want to live in denial, I’ll allow you tha-”

“Hey.” They turn to look at Octavia, who is entering the barn with a small, sheepish smile on her lips. “Anya told me you would be here and I feel like I should apologize for Clarke’s beha-“

“Don’t.” She arches one eyebrow at Raven, who is smiling gently at her. “Don’t ever apologize for things other people have done, hot stuff. If it wasn’t, somehow, your fault, don’t apologize for it.”

She stares curiously at Raven for a few seconds before glancing at Lexa, who just nods shortly at her.

“Oh, hm. Okay then. But I’d like to let you know this grumpy, sarcastic woman who is traveling with me isn’t my best friend at all.” She shrugs with one shoulder, gesturing explanatively with her right hand. “I mean, Clarke is a smartass most of the time, but her sarcasm is usually the funny kind of sarcasm. But now she has been just mean. And rude.” She sighs dejectedly. “She has been going through some bad shit lately and I thought that being far from home for a while would help her to find her way. But I don’t know if she is willing to find it, which makes things incredibly harder.” She sighs deeply before waving a hand dismissively in front of her chest. “Anyway, it doesn’t even matter anymore. She is talking about leaving tomorrow, so maybe our vacation will be over before its proper start.”

“Maybe she isn’t ready to receive help.”

Raven nods promptly at Lexa’s words, glancing at her before looking at Octavia.

“But if that’s the case, we have a specialist on the matter here, and I heard she is willing to help blondie. So don’t worry, Hotavia.”

Lexa snorts loudly, rolling her eyes, but Octavia grins widely.

“You know I’m in a relationship with Lincoln, right?”

“Well, if some harmless flirting is threatening your relationship, maybe you shouldn’t be in one at all. And if that’s the case, you can have my phone number.”

Octavia’s grin widens, stepping closer to places a hand over Raven’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

“I already can tell we are going to be great friend, Reyes.”

If the I’m just intrigued by her behavior thing wasn’t good enough to fool Raven, it isn’t enough to fool herself too.

Because she knows all about façades.

She spent the majority of the recent years building very strong ones, which only Anya and Raven – and Lincoln, on a good day – are able to spot – and to tear down.

And that’s the reason why she knows Clarke’s petulance isn’t more than a coping mechanism, a defense mechanism.

When she excuses herself from the dinner table and heads to the kitchen, it’s because she understands the pain she spots on Clarke’s eyes.

When she grabs a plate from the cabinet and turns to the stove, peeking into the pans, it’s because she went through the hell and survived, and it makes her the best person t

It doesn’t matter Clarke is a virtual stranger – well, Lincoln cares about Octavia, and Octavia cares about Clarke, so she isn’t really a stranger -, and that she doesn’t even know why she needs to clear her mind. She has to help her, even if helping people she doesn’t know very well isn’t her thing.

And that is the only reason she is heading towards the room Clarke is occupying with a plate of food and a glass of orange juice on her hands.

At least it is what she tells herself.

She opens her eyes when she hears the door opening slowly, squinting them at Lexa, whose head is peeking through the crack.

“Anya sent me to check on you.”

She rubs her eyes, sitting on the bed and yawning.

“Hello to you too, Anya’s puppy.” Lexa fights against the urge to roll her eyes, mentally cursing her sudden and almost inexplicable urgency to help Clarke. “Tell Anya I’m fine.”

“Your message will be delivered.” She steps inside the room, a plate on her hands and the stoic expression on her face. “She also asked me to bring you something to eat, since you didn’t leave the room all day.”

She stares blankly at Lexa for several seconds before sighing deeply.

“Well, thank you. But I’m not hungry.”

Lexa nods shortly, placing the plate on the dresser.

“I’ll just leave it here, then.”

She walks towards the door, closing it behind her, and Clarke lets her body fall on the mattress again, groaning and already regretting her bad attitude, because something about Lexa – maybe the evidence that she is damaged goods too, maybe her adoration for silence and her ability to give great answers to her naughty questions, maybe the fact she makes Clarke want to scream and punch her incredibly beautiful face - gives her the hint they could be great friends.

If she wasn’t a jerk who hides in a room because she is too stubborn to admit she was a jerk.

Because somewhere between leaving Los Angeles with Octavia and hiding in this very comfortable and spacious room , her need to be alone started to be less about being angry at everything and everybody and more about being very self-aware about her behavior.

But she is too stubborn to deliver the apologies she owes, so she hides.

After a few minutes of staring at the timber walls she gives up her attempt to starve herself to death, and when the plate Lexa brought her is empty she sighs and swallows two sleeping pills, burying her face on the pillow again.

When Octavia enters the room, more than an hour later, she smiles at the sleeping girl and at the empty plate placed on the nightstand, hoping Lexa got the subtle hints she gave her at dinner and manages to convince Clarke to go outside eventually.

She raises her head to look at the door when she hears the knocks, biting the interior of her cheeks to not laugh at Lexa’s outfit.

“Hey, fisherwoman.” She grins, her eyes shining in amusement. “I already knew you were planning on hooking me, Lexa. The outfit wasn’t necessary.”

She watches attentively a stoic Lexa refraining from rolling her eyes, her smile widening.

“Good morning, Clarke. You still didn’t leave the room and it means you haven’t seen the beautiful view yet, so I thought I’d be cool inviting you for a walk.”

Clarke shakes her head, amused at the way Lexa ignored her teasing. She stares blankly at her for a couple of seconds, wondering why she is feeling this sudden urge to let her guard down. Then she sighs deeply.

“I don’t like the outdoors. And I hate walking.”

“Gustus and I used to go fishing in the river all the time, and it really helps me to clean my mind when I’m too overwhelmed.” She shrugs, her eyes locked with Clarke’s attentive ones. “It’s the perfect activity for that, sort of solitary and silent, and it would be perfect if I could go all by myself, but I almost drowned one ti-“

“So the fishes don’t like noise?” Lexa shakes her head twice. “And that means we can’t talk while you’re fishing?” The brunette nods shortly, and Clarke sighs while throwing her legs to the side, putting on her Converse before standing up. “I’m only going with you to laugh at you if you almost drown again.”

After walking for almost twenty minutes – in a comfortable silent that surprises Clarke, since the last silence they shared wasn’t comfortable at all – they stop near a huge flat rock, and Lexa drops her fishing equipment and a colorful backpack to the ground, leaning towards it. After a few moments she is handing Clarke a worn blanket, two packages of M&M’s and a copy of a biography of Monet. Clarke accepts the items with a raised eyebrow and she shrugs, diverting her eyes to the river.

“I know you are an artist, what probably means you already know everything about Monet, but I couldn’t find other books you would like, since I don’t know your taste for literature.” She seems slightly uncomfortable and Clarke smiles, clearly amused at the sight. “I’ll be fishing from this bank.” She looks back at the blonde, pulling absentmindedly at the chest wader’s suspenders, and nods towards the rock. “Make yourself comfortable.” She pulls a vest and two bottles of water off of the backpack and closes the zipper before handing it to Clarke, along with one of the bottles of water. “You can use it as a pillow if you want.”

Clarke nods at her, the tip of her tongue pocking out of her teeth, a little taken aback for what just happened, because despite the fact that she already had a hint that Lexa’s stoicism and dry answers were a façade, she wasn’t expecting this level of kindness.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” She nods towards the river, stepping back. “Let me know if you need something.”

She nods and then Lexa is walking towards the river, the net and the creel on one hand and the fishing pole on the other, the fishing vest covering a part of her chest wader, and Clarke smiles at the scene before throwing the blanket on the rock and taking a seat on it.

Inhaling deeply, she closes her eyes, letting the clean air fill her lungs. She only hears the noise of the wind messing with the treetops and of the running water, and if she didn’t know better she would think Lexa had left, leaving her all alone. When she opens her eyes she is greeted by the view of the other side of the river and smiles at the treetops, which are colored with uncountable tones of with yellow, orange, red and green.

If only my inspiration decided to come back.

Lexa is already into the river, the water reaching her knees, and Clarke decides to follow John Keating’s advice and just seize the day.

Maybe it’s what I need. Some time without thinking. At all.

She arranges the backpack over the blanket and rests her head over it, opening the book and wondering, briefly, why she didn’t think of a joke to let Lexa’s know that she doesn’t like Monet at all.

A small smile is on her lips when she starts to read.

The corner of Lexa’s lips curl into an almost imperceptible smiles when she comes back at the rock and notices that Clarke is sleeping peacefully, the book and the chocolate wrapper next to her. She smiles wider when Clarke’s nose crinkles in her sleep, happy that she managed to use wisely the hints Octavia gave her, not so subtly, in the night before. Because despite barely talking to Clarke at all – or maybe because of that - having her around was good.

Feeling comfortable around someone who isn’t her cousins or best friend is refreshing.  

She does her best to not look at Clarke’s leg, which looks stunning in her shorts, and glances at the sun setting on the horizon before leaning forward and poking her arm gently.

“Clarke, wake up.”

Clarke blinks twice before opening her eyes, frowning when she notices the daylight is almost gone. She rubs her eyes, sitting up.

“What time is it?”

“Almost six.” She removes the vest, letting it fall next to her feet, and starts removing the chest wader, doing her best to avoid staring at a very cute sleepy Clarke. “I think we should head back before it’s too dark.”

Clarke nods, standing up and collecting her things, and offers to carry the backpack on their way back. They had been walking for almost ten minutes when she finally decides to break the silence.

“Isn’t this backpack to colorful to be yours?”

“And who says it is mine?” Clarke smiles, mumbling good point, and Lexa turns to face her, offering her a small smile. “Raven gave it to me the day after she found out I am gay. Something about celebrating our queerness.” She shrugs, her cheeks slightly pink. “She has a matching one, so I guess they are our own version of friendship bracelets.”

Clarke laughs loudly, shaking her head amusedly.

“You don’t look so badass now, Lexa.” The brunette rolls her eyes, the light tone of pink still coloring her cheeks, and Clarke smiles widely. “Anyway, did you catch something?”

Lexa nods, showing her the inside of the creel, where Clarke spots three trouts which don’t seem to be bigger than her hand. She snorts at her proud expression, shaking her head in amusement, and the blush on Lexa’s cheeks intensify. It’s just when they reach the porch that one of them speaks again.

“Eat with us tonight. I’ll make fish.”

She bites her bottom lip, staring into green, honest eyes, and doesn’t fight against the urge to agree.

The small smile that forms on Lexa’s lips makes she mentally pats her own back for agreeing, and she smiles back at her before entering the house.

“I’m starting to think that your idea isn’t that bad.”

Octavia smirks, her back to Clarke, and forces a neutral expression onto her face before turning to her bed, a towel in her hands.

“Yeah?”

Clarke nods at her, biting her bottom lip and looking slightly distressed.

“Yeah. Maybe staying away from Los Angeles will be good for me.” Octavia doesn’t fight against the urge to make a happy dance in the middle of the room, and Clarke snorts loudly, shaking her head. “Don’t make me regret those first words, Blake.”

It takes a while for Octavia to stop dancing and singing I told you so, and when she does she claps her hands excitedly, staring at Clarke.

“Well?”

Clarke arches one eyebrow inquisitively, tilting her head a little.

“Well what?” Octavia just arches an eyebrow, a pointed look on her face, and Clarke sighs deeply, letting her back fall against the headboard.

“I was a massive bitch to you.”

She doesn’t clarify that she isn’t talking only about the incident on the road because she knows that Octavia, somehow, knows it.

Octavia picks a change of clothes from her bed before turning to fully face Clarke, a huge grin on her lips.

“Well, I can’t deny that.”

“I’m sorry, O.”

Octavia nods, the grin still on her lips.

“I know you are, Griff. I would be very sorry if I had treated someone as cool as me that bad too.”

She winks at her, smiling wider before leaving the room, and Clarke lets out a deep breath, closing her eyes and letting her head drop against the headboard too.

After a couple of minutes – when the walls stopped being interesting - she lies fully on the bed, wondering if Lexa would be willing to do something  with her the next day, and pulls a light sheet over her body, nudging her head against the pillow. She falls asleep a few seconds after closing her eyes, the sleeping pills long forgotten over the nightstand.

Octavia isn’t in the room when she wakes up and after wearing a denim shorts and a black loose tank top – which almost cover the entire shorts -, she slips on her Adidas sneakers.

When she reaches the kitchen she finds a table full of food and a handwritten note.

Clarke,

Raven and Octavia are at the barn working on the pickup’s engine and Anya went to McCoy to run some errands.

I still don’t know what I’ll do today, but if you want to find me you should be able to – I’m never too far from the house.

Lexa.

She smiles at the note, pouring coffee into a mug and deciding that after eating she will walk around – and finding Lexa wouldn’t be more than an awesome causality.

“Fuck.” She stops walking when she hears Lexa’s voice, way louder than usual, and leans forward to peek through the barn door. “Fucking fuck.”

Lexa is shaking her left hand vigorously, the right one wrapped around her thumb and a hammer fallen next to her feet. She bites the inside of her cheeks not to laugh at the pout on Lexa’s lips and turns, walking slowly towards her.

“I guess you nailed the nailing my thumb thing??”

Lexa raises her head to look at her, rolling her eyes.

“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke.”

 Clarke laughs loudly, stepping closer to her and opening the bottle of water she grabbed before leaving the house.

“Here, let me apologize for my manners.” She grabs Lexa hand gently, pouring some cold water over her already swollen thumb. “It helps?”

Lexa moans contentedly, nodding shortly at Clarke, who smiles at her.

“It does.” Clarke pours more water over the injured finger, and after a few seconds Lexa raises her hand to take a better look at it, groaning when she notices the skin under the nail is already getting purple. “Raven will laugh her ass off when she hears about this. And Anya will look at me with that I told you so expression, remembering me not so gently to stay away from any work that involves hand-eye coordination.”

“I think I can help you with that.” She glances at the outside, squeezing the now almost empty bottle between her hands. “I was going to the lake. Want to join me?”

Lexa nods at her, smiling.

“I’d appreciate the walk.”  

“And why were you embarrassed to leave your room, if you don’t mind me asking?”

They are sitting on sandy ground, their feet into the crystal clear water, and Clarke’s eyes are focused on the beautiful view.

Everything about the moment is so nice that neither the fact she is about to pour her heart to Lexa - who she barely knows, but already makes her, surprisingly, feel incredibly comfortable – is making her too anxious.

“Because I was an ass to Octavia. Before you appeared on the road.” She sighs, closing her eyes briefly. “And also a couple of times before that.” Lexa nods silently and Clarke turns her head to look at her. “I was embarrassed and also angry at myself because she is the one that is always by my side and recently I started to act as if she were the source of all my problems.”

Lexa nods again, and Clarke is already starting to think this is the way she express all her emotions.

“Yelling at people who don’t deserve to be yelled at when we are feeling bad is a terrible habit, but also a very common one.” She shrugs, her attention still focused on the middle of the lake. “I’m sure Octavia wasn’t mad at you due to your behavior. Every time Raven’s or Anya yell at me I think why is she feeling the need to yell at me?” Another shrug, this time accompanied for a chuckle. “Well, to be fair I think that after spending a few hours thinking that I did something to deserve to be yelled at because of my guilt complex.” She turns her head to give Clarke a small, reassuring smile. “But the real deal is: every time we yell at someone who doesn’t deserve to be yelled at, something is wrong with us. Not with them.”

Clarke nods tiredly, her eyes wandering to the lake again.

“A lot of things have been wrong with me lately.”

Lexa shrugs, her eyes following the path traced by Clarke’s.

“Sharing comfortable silences with almost strangers is a skill of mine, but Anya and Raven would be proud to let you know that I’m also a good listener, so if you feel like sharing, I’d try my best to nod supportively at you at the right times.”

Clarke snorts, shaking her head amusedly, and the fact she really wants to share her story with Lexa barely surprises her.

“Well, it would be great seeing you nodding supportively at me. It would be a new kind of nod, at least.”

Lexa rolls her eyes and Clarke laughs lowly, but soon she is taking a deep breath and letting all her walls fall to the ground.

“Five years ago I met a guy. He had an easy, kind smile, and we kind of instantly connected. I was heartbroken back that time because my College girlfriend had break up with me out of the blue and he was good looking, so when he made a move on me I just accepted it. I went with the flow and everything happened so fast. One day we were just kissing and then, suddenly, we were in a relationship, fully committed to each other.” She takes a deep breath, her eyes still on the horizon. “We had fun together, he was kind and usually made me feel cared for, and the sex was good. But eventually I discovered I wasn’t truly in love with him. I didn’t feel butterflies in my stomach every time I was going to see him, I didn’t care too much if we had to spend some time apart from each other and I also didn’t mind when we didn’t have sex for a while. But everybody used to tell us we made a great couple and I really wanted to believe in it, so throwing all the good things into the bin just because I didn’t feel like a part of a goddamn romantic comedy was stupid.” She sighs again, letting her hand rest on the dirty ground, carefully avoiding placing it too close to Lexa’s. “Every damn time I thought about ending our relationship I forced myself to think about the pain I was going to cause him or about all the good things I was going to lose. I always forced myself to come to the conclusion I could and should learn how to love him in a romantic way, because he was a person who was worth the effort.” Lexa nods silently, more to reassure Clarke she is following the story, and after a few seconds the blonde is speaking again. “Two years into the relationship I was unhappy as fuck and he was talking about the names of our future kids.” She snorts loudly, shaking her head. “I started to feel really guilty about not being happy. I remember thinking that none but him would love me, broken, wrong me, so I forced myself to suck up my sadness. And I did it so many times that I eventually lost count. And then I worked hard to make him feel loved, even if I didn’t love him in a romantic way, because he was one of my best friends and I loved him as such, and I didn’t want to cause him any pain.” She moves to adjust her position to a more comfortable one and her pinky finger brushes against Lexa’s, and she smiles when she doesn’t moves her hand. “Eventually I couldn’t deal with it anymore so I decided I would break up with him. He had just come back from one of his long trips and I told him I wasn’t happy, that the things between us weren’t working anymore. He cried, promised me she would spend more time in Los Angeles, that he would be a better person for me. He reassured me he loved me.  And despite the but I don’t love you being on the tip of my tongue the entire time I couldn’t say it, I couldn’t force myself to say those words looking at his teary eyes.” Another tired sigh. “We were still a couple when he left and I’m pretty sure he misunderstood what I was cowardly trying to convey because three days later he proposed.” A strangled laugh leaves Clarke’s lip and suddenly Lexa’s hand is squeezing her knee, and the moment she removes it Clarke already misses its warmness. “I didn’t say eyes, but I clearly didn’t say no either, because suddenly we were looking for a place to live together. But at that moment I was feeling really dirty for being a coward and not spilling the beans to him, and being with him made me feel physically ill, so we started to spend more and more time apart. We stopped having sex at all. We started to fight more but I still couldn’t say what I needed to say so being the big coward I am I decided to wait for him to put an end on our relationship. Because I was treating him like shit, and that was the logical thing for him to do. But he never did it.” She shakes her head again, sighing. “I stopped eating and sleeping. Working was incredibly hard. And then one day everything became too much for me, so I went to Octavia’s place, in the middle of the night, and told her how I was feeling. She already knew it, of course, because she is the Yang of my Meredith, but I never had told her all those things.”

Lexa nods in understanding.

“And then it became real.”

Clarke nods too, sighing again.

“She was so supportive. She told me I needed to end our thing, but that I should do that on my way. But I still couldn’t do that.” Lexa lets her pinky finger caress the back of Clarke’s hand and the blonde smiles gratefully at her. “I was clearly miserable. I stopped to paint at all. So one day Octavia decided to drag me outside the house, alleging a walk on Santa Monica would do me some good. And when we were walking on the pier with Linc we saw Finn holding hands with a girl. Kissing her. I honestly didn’t care that much, because I wasn’t in love with him for a long time and that could be an easy way out of the relationship. But Octavia went insane.” She laughs lowly, shaking her head. “If Lincoln had not dragged her to his car she would have beat the crap out of him.” Lexa nods at her affirmation and something on her expression tells Clarke she would have beat the crap out Finn too. “Two days later a very serious Octavia Blake knocked on my door with a folder on her hands.” She is fully grinning now, and Lexa arches one eyebrow at her. “She told me she did some research after seeing Finn with the new girl, because something seemed a little off to her. Turns out that Finn and the girl had started a relationship six months before the break up. He also had an affair in New York, where he often travelled to, and he was an avid patron at strip clubs.”

“What a bastard.”

She giggles at the mumbled words, smiling at Lexa’s clenched jaw and trying to dry her sweaty palms on her shorts.

“What a bastard indeed. Anyway, knowing he was cheating on me was kind of cool, because as I said before, it gave me an easy way out of the relationship. So I was finally able to have the conversation with him. I managed to break up with him, despite his tears and apologies and promises.”

“Was the day you broke up that the last time you saw him?”

Clarke shakes her head, a sad expression on her face.

“I wish.” Now Lexa’s hand is above Clarke’s, holding it tight. “He started to follow me. To beg for another chance. He went after my mom and dad. He tried to break into my apartment. And I was just sort of letting it pass. Until the day the things got physical.” Lexa’s grip on Clarke’s hand tightens, but she doesn’t say anything. “My dad, Lincoln and Bellamy confronted him after that day. They swore they would kick his ass in a pretty bad way if he dared to even breathe the same air as me again.”

“Did it work?”

She sighs, turning her hand and interlacing her fingers with Lexa’s, smiling when her thumb starts to move over the back of her hand.

 “Yes. And then I was feeling euphoric. I was free and single and I’d finally be able to work again, I’d be inspired again. But after a few days of happiness and freedom I started to feel like crap because I noticed that I had ignored myself, my wishes and my needs for a really long time, and the reason I did that wasn’t even a good one. I noticed that I always focused on other people’s needs and wishes. And then, just like that, I find out that I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know what to do.” She sighs, and for the first time since she started talking that she sounds defeated, sad. “I don’t know what makes me happy because I spent the last four years of my life so busy trying to make others happy that I became unhappy as fuck”   

She goes silent and notices that Lexa is struggling with the words, desperately searching for the right thing to say. She squeezes her hand, than, hopping it tells her that the silence doesn’t bothers her.

That she doesn’t need to say anything to help.

That she already did it.

Lexa squeezes her hand back, her eyes on the horizon and her free hand picking a stone from the ground. They go back to a comfortable silence for a few minutes, just staring at the beautiful, huge lake.

Until Clarke sighs deeply.

“I think I need to start over. I need to find out who I am. I just don’t know how to do that.”

Lexar nods, turning the stone between her fingers.

“I understand what you’re saying.” Her voice sounds unsure, what surprises Clarke, but she doesn’t say anything, waiting for Lexa to continue. “I had to do it myself, recently. It was very scary.”

Clarke turns her head to look at Lexa with curious blue eyes.

“And how did you do it? God, I never feel so lost in my life.”

Lexa hesitates for a moment before throwing the flat stone across the water and making it bounce off the surface six times. 

“It wasn’t easy. I was feeling lost too, and the fact that everyone had something to say about my situation and what I should do about it didn’t help. But neither of my friends overstepped boundaries, they were very respectful about my time. They allowed me to feel miserable. And then, one day, the fact that I was the one with the power to decide what to do hit me. That for the first time in years I would be able to do what I wanted to do, rather than doing what was imposed to. And since that day I talk to myself every single night, after going to bed. It’s something like you decided to start a new chapter of the book of your life. You have a blank page in front of you and because of your past experiences you know all the best ways to fill it. You have this amazing new opportunity to do greater, better things. Things that will make you feel happier. So appreciate it. Be enthusiastic about it. ”

Clarke giggles at the solemn tone she uses to tell her such thing, her eyes locked with Lexa’s.

“And this self-help bullshit helps you?”

“I guess it does. But as I said, it was pretty hard at the beginning. I was out of my comfort zone for the first time in ages. I was on my own.” She shrugs, the hint of a smile appearing on her lips. “Well, I still am. But slowly I started to accept that starting over is a process, and like any process it will take some time and a lot of effort to happen. That I don’t need everything figured out now, I just need to be brave enough to go with my gut.”

“Makes sense.” Lexa nods at her, and she smiles at the brunette. “But I’m pretty sure it’s easier said than done. Also -” she shoves Lexa’s shoulder with her own “- why you’re insanely good at stone skipping?”

Lexa shrugs, blushing slightly.

“It was another thing that Gustus taught me how to do. He was a very good teacher.”

“May you share your wicked techniques with me? I always thought that being able to make stones skip above the water is a really cool thing.”

She grins at Lexa, who just stares at her for a couple of seconds. And then she stands up, reaching out to Clarke and helping her to stand up before leaning to pick two stones, handing one of them to the blonde.

“First of all, you need to choose a flat stone. Then bounce your knees and throw it. Like this.” She throws the stone successfully and nods towards Clarke. “Now you do it.” The rock goes straight to the bottom of the lake. “No, you need to –“ she steps behind the blonde, pulling at her arms lightly “- bend your knees and lean your upper body slightly.” Clarke lets Lexa position her body, doing her best to ignore the warmth that spreads across her body because of the proximity, her eyes forcefully fixed on the lake. “And then you throw it in a horizontal way, because if the stone hits the water vertically it will sink very fast.” Clarke nods, glancing very quickly at the spot where Lexa’s hand is wrapping her forearm, and throwing the stone with her help. It bounces off the surface twice and she looks at Lexa over her shoulder. She has a small but proud smile on her lips. “You did it.”

“Yeah! I did it.”

“Here.” She leans to pick another stone, handing it to Clarke before stepping away from her. “Try again.”

Clarke nods and repeats her earlier movements, and this time the stone skips on the water three times. She turns to look at Lexa, raising her hand to high-five her.

“Yes!” But of course Lexa isn’t planning on high-fiving her, and her hand ends hitting the brunette’s face. Hard. “Oh my God. Fuck.” She grabs Lexa’s chin very gently, cursing again when she winces and one more time when she notices the thin trickle of blood above Lexa’s eyebrow. “Stupid ring.”

Lexa places a hand over Clarke’s, squeezing it gently and locking eyes with hers.

“Breathe, Clarke. It was an accident, it happens.”

Clarke groans, stepping closer to Lexa and running her thumb near the injured area.

“No, it doesn’t happen. Unless you’re very clumsy.”

This time Lexa squeezes her hand harder, interlacing their fingers.

“It happens. I’m okay.”

Clarke nods at her, the tip of her tongue pocking outside her teeth, and the honesty of Lexa’s eyes and the proximity of their bodies must be doing something to her, because the next thing she does is kissing her. And then, after just a second, she is releasing a deep sigh, because Lexa is kissing her back.

Soon her hand is holding the back of Lexa’s neck, and her hands are cupping very gently Clarke’s cheek. Someone – Clarke is too focused on the softness of Lexa’s lips to acknowledge who – steps closer, and the blonde immediately tilts her head, running her tongue on Lexa’s bottom lip before deepening the kiss.

Lexa’s nose is pressing against her cheek in the best way possible, and one of her hands is now tangled on her blonde locks, and Clarke presses their lips harder to prevent a moan from escaping from her lips. Because she can’t remember the last time one kiss made her feel cared for and also on fire.

Their lips disconnect for a couple of seconds, Lexa’s nose bumping gently against hers, and when they meet again something about the angle of the kiss change and now Lexa isn’t being that gentle anymore and one of her hands -

The sound of a car approaching makes they jump apart and they do their best to look like they were just innocently hanging out before Anya’s Range Rover sport pickup stops next to them a few minutes later.

“Hey weirdos.” Raven is smiling at them and Octavia is grinning next to her. “Do you wanna go to McCoy with us? Anya needs a ride.”

Lexa steps forward, a small smile on her lips.

“And you aren’t using the Chevy because it doesn’t withstands the trip?”

Raven snorts loudly, to Octavia’s amusement.

She could make this trip easily, Lex. We just needed more room.”

Clarke follows Lexa, and they stop next to the driver’s door. Raven squints her eyes, her mouth opening slightly when she spots the injury on Lexa’s face. “What happened to your face?”

Clarke bites her lip, her cheeks burning red.

I happened to her face.”

She shrugs, looking extremely ashamed, and Octavia starts to laugh loudly.

“Of course Griff happened to her face.”

“It was -“

“An accident.” Lexa shrugs, looking away. “We were skipping stones and something went wrong during our celebrations.”

A new fit of laugh leaves Octavia’s lips and Raven snorts, grinning.

“Well, take a seat. I’ll hand the felonious the first aid kit. The wound needs to be cleaned.”

Lexa shakes her head, reaching for the door.

“It’s barely a wound, Reyes.”

Raven opens the glove compartment to pick the kit, turning to the back seat to hand it to Clarke.

“And cleaning it will not kill you, Commander. Don’t be such a baby.”

“I would like to hear more about this nickname eventually, Raven.”

The tip of Lexa’s ears go red at Clarke’s teasing, but when she closes the door and turns to look at her, the smile makes she feel at easy.

When Lexa looks away, replying to something Octavia asked, Clarke’s smile gets wider.

Because now she is almost sure that spending sometime far from Los Angeles is a good idea after all.

 

Chapter Text

Octavia - the energetic, athletic one in their friendship, and who is always extra pumped every time they are on a vacation – isn’t in the room when she opens her eyes, blinking twice to adjust them to the light.

She hums contentedly before searching for her phone, which is lost somewhere in between the sheets, her eyes widening slightly when she finally reaches it and finds out it’s almost one p.m.

Keeping it in mind, she spends just a little more than half an hour going through her messages and answering them before dragging her surprisingly still sleepy self out of the warm blankets.

The temperature is a little lower than the day before and she chooses to wear a not so short pair of shorts and a baseball tee, pulling her hair up in a messy bun and putting on another pair of sneakers before leaving the room.

A new handwritten note is waiting for her over the kitchen table.

Clarke,

I made waffles. Lemon blueberry vegan ones.

Octavia didn’t want to save any for you. According to her you don’t like healthy food – or anything healthy -, but I managed to hide some of them for you.

Blake stuffed her face with them and then said I’m a damn mothafucka – or something like that, I’m not even sure how to spell it - and begged me to marry her, what made Raven snort loudly and Anya beg for her not to feed my swollen ego, but I have no idea what she was talking about).

What I’m trying to say it is that they are healthy but tasty, so you can eat them. If you want to.

We should be harvesting pumpkins at the field near the barn when you get up. You’re welcomed to join us. Hanging out with Raven and Anya can be fun sometimes.

Lexa.  

P.S.: hey, the amazing RR here. Taste them. I promise you will like them BERRY much (get it? Blueberry, BERRY much… ). AND DON’T LET GRUMPY LEXA FOOL YOU. Hanging out with us is ALWAYS cool.

She is fully grinning when she glances at the inviting pile of waffles.

“Look! The sleeping beauty decided to leave her cave.”

Octavia is grinning at her, and soon she notices Raven waving excitedly on her direction. Lexa is staring at her too, a small smile on her lips, and Anya glances quickly on her direction before looking back at the pumpkins.

“Morning, Griffin.”

She raises her hand in a static wave, walking towards them and trying not to stumble in any pumpkin or smash its beautiful blossoms.

“Morning.”

She yawns loudly as soon as the word leaves her lips and Octavia snorts at it, what makes Raven laugh loudly and Lexa’s smile goes bigger.

“Morning? It’s like two p.m., Princess.” She shakes her head, clearly amused. “Also, I’m sure you aren’t supposed to be yawning after sleeping for more than twelve hours.”

“Well, I just had breakfast so I guess morning is the appropriated greeting.” She turns her head, smiling at Lexa. “Thank you for the waffles, by the way. Rae was right. They were berry good.” 

“I can’t believe you steal some waffles for her, Lexa!” Octavia’s eyes are wide, and Lexa just shrugs at her. “It’s your fault that I’m starving now.”

Anya scoffs loudly, raising her head to glance at Octavia. 

“No one would be starving after eating enough waffles to feed a small army.”

Raven nods at that, and Octavia rolls her eyes.

“Whatever.”

“Anyway, -“ Clarke steps closer to her friend, throwing an arm over her shoulders, a huge smile on her lips. “- what I was trying to say is that I can understand why O proposed to you, Lexa.”

Octavia turns her head to look at Clarke, squeezing playfully her arm and making her squirm.

“Of course you can. It’s only our fourth day here and she already cooked for me more times than you have in ages, Griff. You’re begging to be replaced, wifey.”

Clarke snorts, rolling her eyes.

“As if you would eat something I had cooked.” She shakes her head, smiling at Lexa and Raven and ignoring Octavia’s playful glare and Anya’s disinterest. “Anyway, how can I help you guys?”

“This blossom tastes amazing, Octavia.” She bites one of the fried blossoms, humming at its taste. “What did you use to coat them?”

“Garbanzo bean flour, water, salt, cashew cheese and basil. And sunflower oil for frying.” She smiles proudly at Lexa. “You could do it using normal flour and eggs, adding grated cheese to the flour if it seems appealing to you. I just make them this way because sometimes Linc is a freaky about getting fat.”

Lexa nods shortly, grabbing another fried blossom from the plate.

“I didn’t even know we could eat flowers.”

Raven snorts, rolling her eyes and grinning.

“And you call yourself sophisticated.” She shakes her head, ignoring the glare Lexa is sending on her way. “I don’t trust your culinary knowledge anymore.”

“Also –“ Anya stands up after reaching for her plate, a smirk on her lips. “- I’m pretty sure that these weren’t the first flowers you ate, Lex.”

Lexa’s eyes go wide and Raven and Octavia laughs loudly at her surprised and outraged expression, and Clarke shakes her head, giggling and smiling at Lexa’s blushing cheeks.

“Hm, -“ she stands up too, reaching for her plate before turning to the sink. “The pumpkin blossoms were delicious, Octavia. Thank you for cooking for us.”

Octavia mumbles no problem, throwing the rest of her own blossom into her mouth, chewing and swallowing before sucking her fingers clean, and Clarke shakes her head at her best friend’s antics before picking her plate and standing up.

Lexa is already doing the dishes and she approaches, intending to help, and she can’t avoid noticing how the blush on her cheeks when their hands brush against each other.

She can’t say the light tone of pink surprise her.

“Clarke?” The blonde woman raises her head, offering Lexa a small smile, her eyes wandering back to the lake when she takes a seat right next to her. “It’s just nine a.m. What are you doing up so early?”

Clarke shrugs, feeling Lexa attentive – almost concerned – gaze on her.

“Don’t even know why I woke up at some ungodly hour, but once I was awake I couldn’t sleep again.” She shrugs, again, turning her head to look at Lexa. “And it’s not like I can sleep the entire morning every day. It doesn’t seem fair to sleep while someone makes breakfast for me.”

Lexa offers her the signature smile, shrugging.

“Well, you were sleeping when I was cooking, despite waking up at some ungodly hour. Your tactics are ineffective. Case closed.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, shoving her shoulder against Lexa’s.

“Don’t be a smartass, Woods. And thank you for the French toasts, by the way. And for the note.”

Lexa nods once, shortly, and their ways wander to the lake.

Clarke inhales deeply, and somehow that fills her lungs with Lexa’s scent, and somehow it makes her think about their kiss – for the thousandth time in the day and a half since it.

And she is starting to notice that despite not being bothered by the fact they still didn’t bring it up, she is bothered by the fact they didn’t repeat it.

 “What are you thinking about?”

The question startles her, and her head snap towards Lexa, whose eyes are on Clarke again. Those deep green eyes, filled with concern and care, which make Clarke want to send her walls to the ground one more time.

But it’s not like she can talk about how much she wants to understand why kissing Lexa felt so good and natural, or why she isn’t feeling awkward if they didn’t talk about what happened. She doesn’t want to put this kind of pressure on herself now. She doesn’t want to damage whatever may happen between them – because something will happen, if she has some say in the situation.

 So she chooses the easier route. 

“That it is a shame that my inspiration abandoned me, because all these colors would look good on a canvas.”

Lexa nods at her, once.

“The scenario is breathtaking. Even I, who am not a big art connoisseur, can understand what you’re talking about.”

Clarke smiles widely, tilting her head slightly.

“And I thought you were a sophisticated one.”

She notices the way Lexa refrains for rolling her eyes, and bumps against her shoulder again, a short laugh leaving her lips.

A comfortable silence follows the exchange, and Clarke is sure she would prefer it to last the whole day than answering Lexa’s next question.

“Why did you stop painting?”

She wishes she knew more about Lexa, the author, right now. She wishes Lincoln had told her more than she writes under a moniker before refusing to tell them anything about her books because this way she could be her sarcastic usual self and dodge the question with a work related remark capable of making her inquisitor squirm uncomfortably.

But she can’t, because despite knowing Lexa is at her family’s ranch for the same reason she is – to clear her mind – she doesn’t know if its work related. To be fair, she doesn’t know a thing about Lexa.

What she does know is that a part of her wants to answer the question. Honestly. But she usually doesn’t does that, and she isn’t even sure about -

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t my place to ask you such personal question.”

Lexa’s discomfort is evident by the way she looks away, and Clarke doesn’t think twice before covering her hand with her own and giving it a light squeeze.

“No.” She takes a deep breathe, and if her next words would manage to scare her three days before – and they really would – they don’t have this effect now. “I want to tell you. I just don’t know what to say because I always dodge this question like a pro.”

Lexa nods again, surprisingly turning her hand and interlacing their fingers.

“I have my share of unanswerable questions too.” She squeezes Clarke’s hand gently, their eyes locked. “We don’t need to talk –“

“It’s been a year or so.” She sighs deeply, enjoying the warmth of Lexa’s hand on hers. “For me painting was always about emotions. About being able to get rid of them, to process them in a healthy way or to capture the ones I saw in things, places, people. But –“ she sighs again, fighting against the urge to look away from the eyes that are stripping her soul naked “- when life swallowed me I started to avoid thinking about my own emotions, until I reached the point where I wasn’t even able to distinguish them anymore.” She shrugs, doing her best for the gesture to seem nonchalant. “I stopped being able to understand emotions, so I stopped being able to paint.” Lexa nods shortly one more time, as if intending to let Clarke know she is following her story, that she understands it, but it’s not like Clarke needs it. She can see it all on Lexa’s eyes. “Being far from art started to bother me after a few months so I accepted a job as an art gallery curator. But I was fired a few months ago. I think I became too emotionless to even talk about art. To have the right to be around it.” She laughs lowly, and it feels bitter, painful. “Finn used to tell me that I was lucky to work selling other people’s art. That I should be grateful for the opportunity to be surrounded of art created by really talented peo-“

“You’re incredibly talented.” Clarke frowns deeply, and Lexa squeezes her hand lightly before looking away. “I visited Lincoln a few months ago, right after New Year’s eve. I wasn’t in a good place because of the ending of a long time relationship and everything that followed it so I decided to spend a few weeks away from home.” She sighs deeply, and this time Clarke is the one squeezing her hand. “I saw these paintings on his place and they caught my attention. They made me feel again, after so many months of numbness.” She looks back at Clarke, whose eyes are wet, and offers her a small smile. “I asked about the painter. He told me she was an incredibly talented local artist who happened to be friends with Octavia.” She shrugs one more time, her eyes still locked with Clarke’s. “I may have begged him to take one of them home with me.”

“Which one?”

“Frozen Woods.” A small chuckle leaves Clarke’s lips and Lexa nods, her smile getting slightly bigger. “But it didn’t catch my attention only because of this irony. It caught my attention because it is breathtaking. Everything about it.” She shrugs, and the gesture is small, almost doubtful. “The paintings you created for him, the commissioned ones? I was the buyer.” Clarke’s jaw drops and a single tear stream down her cheeks. Lexa is quick to bring a hand to her face, wiping it with her thumb, and Clarke tilts her head into her hand, closing her eyes with a sigh. “I’m sure the emotions are still inside of you, Clarke, as is the power to be able to spot them and translate them beautifully into a canvas. You just need to truly search for them.”

When Clarke opens her eyes again she offers Lexa a small but genuine smile.

“Thank you.”

She hopes Lexa understand she isn’t referring only to her advices.

“Hey, mom.”

“Hi, Clarke. How are things in Colorado? Are you and Octavia having a good time?”

She smiles at the sound of her mom’s voice, nodding absentmindedly.

“Yes. Actually, I’d dare to say we are having a great time.”

“And I’d believe in you. You sound lighter, happier.”

She grins, sighing deeply.

“And I am. I think I’m feeling peaceful. Everything here is stunning, it’s like life has another pace. I’m enjoying being a little disconnected, less worried about life and how everything will turn out.”

“It was about time, Clarke.”

She giggles at her mom’s gentle scouting before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

“It was.” She sighs again, taking another deep breath, letting the clean air fill her lungs. “I think that for the first time in years I’m accepting the fact that I really need a break from my life. From myself. So I’m allowing myself to take my damn time and waiting for my brain to figure everything out.” Abby hums in agreement and she opens her eyes. “I also met a girl here who has her way with words. I think she is helping me to put things in perspective. To see things by another perspective. I’m even sleeping without the pills.”

“This is amazing. I’m very happy for you, Clarke. You deserve this break. Also, is she hot?”

“Mom!” She rolls her eyes at her mom’s loud laugh, sighing when she hears someone calling for her in a loud voice. “Do you have to go?”

“Yes. Thelonious and I were waiting for the family of a patient. We need to discuss transplant’s options with them.”

“Okay, I’ll not keep you, then. Tell Thelenious I said hi and tell dad I love him when you get home tonight. I’ll call him soon.”

“Will do that. Oh, and Clarke? I’m very happy you have Octavia in your life. She is the best best friend I could wish for you.”

She grins, nodding at the words.

“Yeah, she is. She is pretty damn wonderful. I hope she knows that.”

“We are talking about Octavia Blake, Clarke. I’m sure she knows that. But saying it to her sometimes wouldn’t cause any damage.” Clarke laughs loudly, throwing her head backwards. “I need to go. Tell O I love her. And I love you too, Clarke.”

“Same here. Bye, mom.”

She ends the call, placing the phone on the ground and smiling when she notices a small flat stone next to it. She picks it up, turning it between her fingers a couple of times and remembering how good she felt having Lexa’s body close to hers while learning how to skip stones.

The fact is she doesn’t know why having Lexa close to her, any time and to do anything, feels so good. She doesn’t remember the last time she clicked so quickly with one person in such a deep level. Hell, she doesn’t even click with people in such a deep level, Octavia aside.

Well, of course she needs to consider the connection she had with Finn back in the beginning, but even this connection seem almost meaningless when she thinks about the way being closer and closer to the brunette seems right. Almost like it’s the logical thing to do.

She is ready to enjoy the ride.    

“Hey.”

She jumps, almost dropping the bottle of water from her hand and quickly turning to look at the source of the voice.

“Fuck you, Lexa. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry.” She can barely spot her sitting on the couch in the dim light and walks towards her slowly, the bottle of water clutched on her hands. “You stepped on one of the loose floorboards. It woke me up.”

“Oh.” She takes a seat on the other edge of the couch, smiling apologetically at Lexa. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I lay to rest for a couple of seconds after dinner, when you and Octavia went to your room, but I only woke up when I heard the noise.” She sighs, rubbing her eyes, and Clarke bites the tip of her tongue at her cuteness. “I guess I was too tired to move my sore body to my bed.”

Clarke laughs lowly, nodding.

“I get it. I’m pretty beat up myself. Who knew doing things could be so tiring, huh?”

Lexa nods lazily, suppressing a yawn, her eyes a little darker than usual.

“And you? Why are you awake?”

She shrugs, smiling shyly.

“My neck is sore and I couldn’t lie still. In fact, all my muscles are aching. I don’t think I’ll help to harvest pumpkins ever again.”

“Do you think a massage would help?” Before she can reply Lexa is sitting next to her, one leg tucked under her body. “Turn. I’ve heard that I’m very talented with my hands.” Clarke is barely able to swallow the gasp that leave her lips at Lexa’s suddenly husky, flirtatious tone, before her hands are placed on her shoulders. The brunette starts to squeeze them slowly and gently but firmly, and she can’t fight against the way her shoulders lift. “You’re tense.” She nods after a few seconds, begging to her brain to keep functioning properly despite the current setting and a new gasp is swallowed when she feels Lexa’s thumb tracing circular patterns above her shirt. The brunette lets her hands slid towards her collarbone, almost touching the hem of her collar, and then brings them back to her shoulders, repeating the motion a couple of times. And it would be great and relaxing, if it wasn’t turning Clarke on. “You’re surprisingly tenser now, Clarke.” Lexa’s is close enough for her to feel the whispered words against her skin and she lets out a snort that almost becomes a moan when Lexa’s finger brush against the soft skin of her neck, pressing in a gently way. “We must be doing this wrong. This massage should be relaxing.” Clarke snorts again, mumbling tell it to my body, and suddenly she can feel Lexa’s lips brushing on her earlobe. “And would your body listen to me?”

This Lexa isn’t the same Lexa who is usually around her, she is sure. But more than surprised by her sudden change of demeanor, she is amused by it, and the shiver that runs down her spine is enough to make her turn her body quickly, connecting her lips to Lexa’s. Fiercely.

The brunette immediately kisses her back, grabbing her neck and bringing their torsos closer, and Clarke places a hand on the back of her neck too, trying to understand how kissing her can be so easy and wonderful. Because it doesn’t feel like they kissed just one time. It feels like they have been doing this since forever because the kiss is so good and hot in the exact measure and their lips fit perfectly together. And then Lexa is pressing forward, gently forcing her back against the couch, and the only thought on her mind is yes, please.

“Griff, are you still in the kitchen? I want some water.”

She mumbles fuck against Lexa’s lips, closing her eyes briefly and missing Lexa’s warmth the second their chests disconnect. She takes a deep breath before replying, hoping this will be enough for her to sound normal. If it is possible.

“Yeah. I’ll grab some for you.”

Lexa is staring at her, deeply, and whoa, who knew being looked at could be such a big turn on.

“Great, Princess. I owe you one.”

She bites the corner of her bottom lip, lowering her voice again.

“I’m sorry ‘bout that.”

“No problem.” The contained Lexa is back, and if Clarke didn’t know better she would swear she seems a little embarrassed and even surprised. “Curiously the energy came back to my body. I think I’ll be able to go to bed now.” She licks her bottom lip absentmindedly and it makes Clarke want to lean forward and resume their activity so badly. “I hope you have a good rest, Clarke.”

She stands up, tiptoeing towards her room, and Clarke closes her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath before reaching for the bottle of the water on the floor and already planning a particularly painful way to kill her best friend.

“So he managed to buy the air ticket.”

Octavia nods excitedly at her, sipping her coffee.

“Yes. He will arrive tomorrow night.”

“Great.” Anya smiles at her, grabbing her mug and sipping the rest of her own coffee. “Expending some time with Lincoln will be great. I miss having him around.”

Octavia grins widely, her green eyes shining in excitement.

“He is really excited about it too. He keeps messaging me about the horses in capital letters and he never uses capital letters. They are kind of my thing.” She shrugs, sipping her beverage again. “If I didn’t know better I’d say he is more excited to see the horses than he is to see me. Our any of you.”

Raven giggles, biting a piece of bread.

“If he is he is a dumbass. But anyway, Lexa and I are gonna fix the arena’s fence this morning. We’ll be able to ride the horses.” 

“And I’ll go with Anya to McCoy to deliver the pumpkins. Then I will make us some lunch.”

Raven nods and Octavia stands up, placing her mug into the sink. She glances at the door of the bedroom she has been sharing with Clarke, sighing.

“Yesterday was a miracle.” She shakes her head slowly. “Of course the Princess is still sleeping.”

Raven laughs loudly, an amused smirk on her lips.

“Let the girl sleep. This way she will be very well rested for our little get together tonight.”

“Hell yeah.”

She smiles at the handwritten note she finds on the table – for the fourth day in a roll.

Clarke,

I had some troubles sleeping, and when I finally woke up Anya and Octavia were already in the kitchen. I’m not the one to blame if the banana bread which is into the stove isn't good enough.

Lexa.

She smiles at the stove, wondering if the reason why Lexa had troubles to fall asleep was the same one which kept her awake until the dawn.

“Do you think it’d be wrong making a move on Lexa?”

Octavia raises her head to look at Clarke, who is staring blatantly at the taller brunette, and smirks widely.

“Clarke Griffin! The mountains’ air is making you feel wild?” She punches the air, the amused and proud smirk still on her lips. “Hell yeah. Party Animal Griffin is back, bitches.”

“Shiiiii.” She clamps a mouth over Octavia’s mouth, looking away quickly when Lexa and Raven glance at their direction with curious looks on their eyes. “Shut up, your idiot.” She removes her hand from her mouth, wiping it on her shorts. “But yeah. Maybe.”

Octavia smirks wider before looking back at the drink on her hand.

“Of course it isn’t wrong, Princess. You’re just feeling this way because you’re far from the dating scene for a while.” She shrugs, bringing the olive to her mouth. “But if you wanna kiss Sexy Lexy, do it.”

“Hm.” She lets her eyes wander to the beer on her hand, a sheepish smile on her lips “I already did that.”

Octavia’s raises her head again, quicker this time, and stares open-mouthed at Clarkes’ reddening face.

“And why I’m only hearing about it now?” Clarke shrugs, her cheeks reddening. “Fuck you, Griff. But also, tell me everything about how it happened.”

“Her face was really close to mine and she was staring at me with those deep and honest green eyes.” She bites her bottom lip, glancing at her friend. “It was inevitable. And it made me feel funny things, so doing it again was the logical thing -“

“Oh, so you two are kissing in a regular basis? Well done, Griffin.” She pats Clarke’s shoulder affectionately before sipping her drink. “I’m very proud of you, even if I’m feeling incredibly betra- oh!” Her eyes widen one more time before narrowing. “If you already kissed Lexa and you asked me about making a move, were you talking about seducing her into your bed?”

Clarke looks around quickly, checking if someone was close enough to hear Octavia’s words.

“Shush, O.” She shrugs, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. “It’s more like seducing her into her bed, but yeah. I was talking about sex.”

She lowers her voice at the last word and Octavia shakes her head, amused.

“Good Lord. And I always thought I was the sassy one.” She busies herself with the drink on her hand, forcing a nonchalant tone onto her voice. “Are you ready to have a one night stand?”

“It wouldn’t be a one night stand. I mean, best case scenario we still have fourteen days before going home.”   

“Oh, so you’re thinking about having a summer love during the Fall.” Clarke nods and she places her empty glass over a table before looking at her again, seeming slightly hesitant. “Go for it, Griff. If Lexa is game and you’re okay with the idea of a Fall love, go for it.” Clarke nods at her and Octavia worries about her bottom lip, which is still firmly stuck between her teeth. Then, suddenly, Clarke brings the bottle of beer to her lips, drowning its contents, and the brunette arches one eyebrow at her. “And that was for?”

“Liquid courage.” She shrugs, grabbing the bottle of vodka that is near them and pouring it into Octavia’s empty glass. “I need some to be able to make the proposal.”

One hour, a beer and two glasses of pure vodka later she gathers courage to approach Lexa, who is standing at the porch and leaning against the fence.

“Hey.”

Lexa turns to her, nodding shortly, and Clarke stands next to her, their arms almost touching. She leans against the fence when Lexa looks back at the spot she was staring before her arrival, and a few more moments pass before the brunette breaking the silence.

“It’s a nice night.”

She nods, feeling the palm of her hands getting sweaty.

“Yeah.” She swallows silently before moving closer to Lexa and deciding to take it out of her chest before this awkwardness that is inexplicably sinking in it gets the best of her. “It’s very clear that we enjoyed kissing each other.”

What a way to start the conversation.

Lexa turns her face to look at her, slowly. Then she nods.

“You’re right. And I believe it’s also clear we’re sexually attracted to each other.” She brings the bottle of water which is on her hand to her lips slowly, taking a sip of it before placing the bottle over the fence. “But it doesn’t change the fact we are parting ways in fourteen days.”

Clarke nods, consciously ignoring the idea of Lexa wanting a longer relationship with her. She bites her bottom lip, her arm now fully pressed against Lexa’s.

“That means we have fourteen days.”

Lexa nods again, studying her expression for a split second. Then she moves forward, bringing her lips closer to Clarke’s ear.

“And how do you feel about having an affair with a date to end?”

“Based on our kisses I feel like we could have a lot of fun.”

A small smirk is on Lexa’s lips now, her breathing warming the side of Clarke’s face.

“Only for fourteen days?” Clarke nods her head in agreement, the tip of her tongue peeking outside of her lips, and Lexa places a hand on her back, moving closer and whispering huskily into her ear. “May we have some fun, then.”

Anya has already retreated to her room when they take advantage of the fact Octavia and Raven are animatedly and half drunkenly chatting at the porch to sneak into Lexa’s room.

Clarke is pinned against the door as soon it slams closed and less than a second later Lexa’s lips are skillfully working on her neck and she doesn’t even try to keep quiet, because it has been a while since she joined this kind of activity and she doesn’t mind letting Lexa know the exact effect she has on her body.

Suddenly Lexa’s lips are pressing on hers, a low, husky shush is being mumbled directly onto them – but who could blame her for forgetting that their friends are on the other side of these wall when a hot woman is ravaging her neck, really? - and a split second later their tongues are meeting in a heated dance.

She bites at Lexa’s lips at the same time she lets her hands slip under her t-shirt, scratching her back lightly and feeling the goosebumps forming under her fingertips.

The idea of evoking this kind of response from the always collected brunette is arousing and addicting, as much as is feeling of skin on skin, and soon she is shamelessly tugging on the hem of the t-shirt, and Lexa seems to be as eager as her to get more of all of it, since she doesn’t waste any time before raising her arms, allowing Clarke to take it off of her.

When their fronts meet again two perky nipples are pressing against her chest, right above the cup of her bra, and her hands quickly cross the distance between Lexa’s waist and her breasts, cupping them eagerly and moaning at the sound that leave Lexa’s lips.

She flips them over, pressing Lexa against the door, one of her thighs slipping between her thighs, and somehow now what their mouths are doing seem less like kissing and more like trying to catch a glimpse of air.

A hard nipple is rolled between eager, precise fingers and a neck is bitten is response, and Clarke fights against the loud moan that try to force its way out of Clarke’s mouth.

But a strangled noise leaves her lips and suddenly Lexa is detaching her mouth from Clarke’s neck and pressing the side of her head against her, hot, ragged breathes hitting her ear.

“It will not become humping on each other against a door, Clarke.” She leans back, staring at the blonde with blow, dark pupils and almost swollen lips. “I have better plans for our night.”

Clarke wants to object. She wants to tell Lexa that their night is only beginning, that they can hump on each other against a door first, that she is sure they will have time to step it up later.

But Lexa’s hands are tracing their way under her shirt now and she doesn’t have coherency enough to formulate full sentences – and neither will to stop anything that may happen away from the door.

When Clarke’s legs hit the edge of Lexa’s bed she is wearing only her panties and the brunette strips both of them her naked before their bodies get tangled in the middle of her bed in a heated making out session.

“You’re stunning, Clarke.” She sucks hard at one of her nipples and Clarke’s fingers bury on her scalp, tugging on it desperately. “Breathtakingly beautiful.”

She thinks she may orgasm without even being touched if Lexa keeps sucking, biting and then running her tongue over her breasts and then doing all those things again. But despite being curious about being able to hit the climax just with breast playing she is aching to be touched, so she begs.

“Lexa, please.” She feels a smirk forming against one of her nipples and shamelessly tugs on Lexa’s hair harder, trying to force her head downwards. “Do me.”

Her nipple is bitten one last time, and the path Lexa’s lips and teeth and tongue trace through her navel let her squirming – and almost embarrassingly wet.

When Lexa’s tongue swirls over her clit her back arches and the tug on Lexa’s hair tightens.

Fuck.”

A low moan leaves Lexa’s lips when Clarke’s back hit the mattress again and she pushes her head against her center hard, and soon Lexa’s tongue is venturing lower, briefly slipping into Clarke, and she is grateful for the way Lexa’s arms wrap around her thighs, because she isn’t sure she would manage to keep her hips pressed against the mattress other way.

She can feel her clit throbbing, and she is sure Lexa can feel it too, since she is dedicatedly devoting undivided attention to it, and her eyes shut closed when she feels soft lips wrapping around it and sucking it hard.

“Good Lord.” She bites hard her bottom lip when Lexa licks lower than before, letting her back disconnect from the mattress again. “Goddammit. So good.” The words are being slurred between heavy breathes, and she knows their friends may be listening to the whole thing, but she can’t force herself to worry about how loud she is becoming. “Oh.”

Lexa smirks at the sequence of words, and when Clarke’s back is almost hitting the bed again she rakes her teeth over her clit and that’s it, she is gone.

She is still panting and trembling when Lexa’s lips find hers, and the kiss is too heated to help her to calm down. But she wouldn’t dare to complain, not when Lexa’s fingers are already gently forcing their way into her.

“Fuck.” Lexa’s pace isn’t frantic, as if she knows Clarke would struggle too much if it was, and Clarke brings one of her hands to her hair, tugging her closer. “Oh God, you feel so good inside of me.” Lexa moans directly into her lips, pressing her thigh over her hand and making her fingers go deliciously deeper. “And I –“ she bites Lexa’s lower lip before running her tongue over it, hopping it will help to sooth the pain “- taste so good on you.”

The way Lexa’s curls her fingers inside of Clarke and the warm wetness that her center is spreading over her thigh would be enough to throw her over the edge again.

But it’s Lexa’s thumb caressing her clit what make her eyes go wide one more time, her breasts press against Lexa’s and her mouth curl into a perfect o.

She rides her orgasm with Lexa’s helps, and when the brunette withdraws her fingers and stop to grind against her thigh she opens her mouth, ready to complain and inform her lover that she wouldn’t be opposed to orgasming in Lexa’s turn too.

But ragged pants are all what leave her swollen lips, and an amused smile is on Lexa’s lips when she sits up, straddling Clarke’s thigh.

“Tired much?”

Clarke does her best to scoff in outrage, but the way Lexa’s eyes lighten up tell her she is still too worked out for it to seem believable. So she just slips her hands to Lexa’s hips, squeezing them and pulling Lexa’s lower half towards hers, and the pressure of the brunette’s thigh against the right spot of her still wet and slightly sore center is enough to make her moan.

“Very much.” She bites her lower lip when Lexa starts to move again, sliding her hands towards her chest and smirking amused at the trail of goosebumps caused by them. “But too curious to see what you look like when you come to stop it now.”

A low moan leaves Lexa’s lips and her eyes close, and Clarke gropes her breasts hard, swallowing when Lexa’s thigh hit her swollen clit in a particularly dreamily way.

She knows another orgasm is approaching quickly, and that’s the reason she sends a hand downwards, letting two fingers slid through Lexa’s wetness and penetrating her without warn.

Lexa’s eyes widen and for a split second she worries she crossed a line there, that the brunette doesn’t like penetration, but then Lexa is grinding her with more intent, ragged breathes leaving her lips, and Clarke stares at her in awe, amused by the way their bodies fit, by the fact they seem to be able to create friction over the right spots even if they didn’t have a hint about personal right spots until a few minutes before.

“That’s it, Lexa. Ride my fingers.” A loud moan leave Lexa’s lips and she lets her body fall forward, placing both hands behind Clarke’s shoulders. “You’re so sexy, Woods.”

The guttural sound that leaves Lexa’s mouth startles her, and she moans loudly herself when teeth sink into the soft flesh of her neck, and suddenly Lexa’s walls are constricting around her fingers and she is grinding on Clarke’s thigh widely, and knowing Lexa is orgasming above her, around her, is enough to send her over the tip again.

It takes a while for Lexa to stop moving, and when she does Clarke removes her fingers from her slowly, pecking the tip of her nose before bringing the wet fingers to her mouth, humming at Lexa’s taste.

Lexa’s ragged breathing is caressing her neck, their sweaty bodies tangled over tossed sheets, and the way the brunette’s eyes widen at her action make Clarke smirk.

“What?” She removes the fingers her mouth with a pop, bending her head to kiss Lexa and happily letting her tongue explore her mouth. A shiver runs through her body when Lexa brings one hand on the back of her neck, bringing them closer, and she squeezes her ass, evoking a new moan from her. She is still smirking when their lips part. “I needed to know what to expect before I take the plunge.”

And with that she is flipping them over – again -, and Lexa’s blown pupils are sight enough that she wants what is about to happen as much as Clarke.

And then she is just happy that she has been sleeping very well lately, because she is sure she isn’t getting any sleep tonight. 

Chapter Text

She opens the door slowly, trying to make the minimum amount of noise in case she didn’t wake Clarke up when she left the bed to go to the bathroom and she is still sleeping.

And she is, lying on her stomach, her skin shining under the first sunrays. The cream sheets are bunched around her hips, barely covering any skin, her legs spread lazily over the bed and one of her arms wrapped around Lexa’s pillow, where her face is buried.

Smiling goofily – and thanking all the Gods neither Raven or Anya is there to see it and tease her mercilessly because of her weakness -, she closes the door slowly, leaning against it and sighing happily.

“I can feel you staring at me.” Clarke muffled, husky words make her blush, and soon a pair of sleepy blue eyes is locked with hers. The blonde turns slowly, lying on her back and not minding to cover her chest, and Lexa does her best to not stare at her large breasts, blushing harder at the memory of what she had done to them a few hours ago. Laughing huskily at Lexa’s evident discomfort, Clarke raises her torso, pressing both hands against the mattress and staring at her with a huge, blatantly amused smirk on her lips. “You already did way more than looking at them, Woods. No reason to be shy.”

Lexa nods at that, her cheeks slightly pink.

“I did. It’s just -“

“Not fair you’re fully clothed when I’m completely naked?” Her smirk gets wider. “I agree.”

She motions for Lexa to come closer and she obeys promptly, climbing onto the bed and crawling slowly towards the blonde, a determined look on her eyes and her uneasiness long forgotten.

“And what are you planning to do about it?”

Clarke reaches for Lexa’s brown locks, tangling her fingers in them before placing her free hand behind her neck and bringing her lips closer to hers. Before their lips can connect she lets her body fall backwards, bringing the brunette with her.

“I have a few ideas.” Lexa lifts slightly her torso and Clarke pecks her lips, letting her hands run towards the hem of her tank top. “Do you wanna hear them?”

Lexa straddles Clarke’s hips briefly, letting her take off her tank top, and moaning lowly when she runs her hands over already turgid nipples.

“Or you could show me.”

Clarke smiles before pulling Lexa’s body towards hers one more time and connecting their lips in a heated kiss. When the brunette bites her bottom lip she moans loudly, disconnecting their mouths and bringing her lips closer to her ear, whispering at the same time her hands grip the hem of her boy shorts.

“I think I’ll do both.”

“It was about time.” Octavia is looking at her from the kitchen table, a mug wrapped between her hands and a smug smile on her lips. “Took you long enough to find your way out of Lexa’s bedroom, Princess.”

Clarke’s eyes go wide and she nods almost imperceptibly towards the kitchen door. Because despite the fact that Lexa - who is a few steps behind her – and her aren’t hiding their affair, she doesn’t know how the usually contained brunette would receive her best friend’s teasing.

 

Octavia rolls her eyes, but mumbles Morning, Lexa when the brunette comes into sight, and Clarke smiles gratefully at her.

 

“Good morning, Octavia.” She offers the shorter brunette a small smile, what makes Octavia stare amusedly at Clarke, who is now blushing. “We are going to the barn after breakfast. Clarke wants to learn how to milk a cow. You can join us if you want to.”

“Ew, gross.” She shakes her head, and slowly her expression of disgust turns into a teasing one. “You will give it a try because you lady lovers worship all the kind of titties, Griff?”

Lexa’s eyes widen at the joke and Clarke snorts loudly, rolling her eyes and leaning forward to slap the back of her friend’s head.

“Don’t mind her, Lexa.” She takes a seat next to a complaining Octavia, already grabbing the coffee pot. “She is too crude to be true.” Octavia just rolls her eyes again, taking a sip of her coffee, and Lexa takes a seat at her other side, crossing two slices of melon with her fork. “Correcting Lexa’s statement, you can join us if you manage to behave.”

“Of course I’ll go with you. I’m sure this time watching you playing with breasts will be way less terrifying than that other ti-”

“Octavia!”

Lexa swallows her tea accidentally, getting immediately lost in a fit of coughs, and Octavia pats her back twice, glancing at Clarke with an expression of fake innocence.

“What?” She glances at Lexa, smirking widely. “You’re best friends with Raven Reyes and Anya Woods, Lexa. I’m pretty sure you should be used to this kind of jokes. No reasons for you to go abruptly swallowing hot stuff around the house.” She stares pensively at the still coughing brunette for a couple of seconds, then the smirk is back. “And it’s a shame you aren’t a gay boy because it’d give me the perfect opportunity for another joke.”

“Octavia!”

The day was long and tiring, but Clarke wouldn’t dare to complain about it.

The majority of her morning was spent pushing her sweaty, naked body against Lexa’s equally worked up one. And then she got to stare at her skilled fingers and to hear her complex but completely entrancing explanations about milking cows and it wasn’t the worst way to spend time, definitively.

In the afternoon she got busy staring a sweaty and toned Lexa stretching and contracting her muscles in order to fix a fence, and this way she learned that walking around with wet underpants is very uncomfortable. And when she wasn’t busy staring at Lexa she was laughing at Anya’s and Raven’s bickering and pretending not to notice the small smiles turning the corners of those usually neutral lips each time one of them smashed a hand against the back of the other’s head.

Of course she had managed to nail her thumb – gratefully the left one, because she has exciting plans for the right one – when trying to make herself useful, but the way Lexa had freaked out for a split second, as if Clarke’s life was in danger, and then had held her hand gently and taken care of her worth the pain – and Octavia’s loud laugh and unfindable teasing about her surprisingly clumsy hands.

Then Lincoln had arrived and hugged her tight, kissing her temple, and they had spent the next hours catching up on the porch with cold lemonades on their hands, laughing at the amazing childhood stories the Woods’ cousins are telling – and the blush that appeared on Lexa’s cheeks every time her cousins ganged up to tell embarrassing stories about mini-Lexa was enough to make her giggle, and the glares the brunette had sent on her direction each time it happened didn’t make her regret the giggles.

It was her best day in years, and her fingers were starting to itch for brushes and blank canvas.

They are finishing dinner when Lincoln is finally defeated by the yawn he has been suppressing for half an hour, making Raven laugh lowly.

“I guess it’s time for some people to go to bed.”

Octavia nods at her, caressing his shoulder gently.

“I guess this traveler is tired as fuck.” She turns to look at her boyfriend, smiling. “You can go to our bedroom, babe. I’ll just help with the dishes and then I’ll join you.”

“We can handle the dishes, O. Go help your boyfriend to relax.”

Raven nods at Clarke’s words, smiling.

“Yeah. You two can go be gross at your room. Just try not to be too loud.”

Octavia stands up, placing a hand over Lincoln’s shoulder.

“I don’t make promises I do not intend to keep, Reyes.”

It’s just after a laughing Octavia drags a blushing Lincoln to their room, when Anya and Raven are bickering about something near the sink, that Lexa approaches Clarke, who is picking some plates from the table.   

“I was -“ her eyes are fixed on the table and she has one thumb pointed awkwardly at her room’s door “- wondering if you’d like to join me tonight.”

Her cheeks are slightly pink and Clarke fights the urge to lean forward and kiss her, mumbling against her lips nonsenses about how cute she is when she isn’t trying to look terrifying. But she knows the gesture may not be well received, not when her best friend and her cousin are right next to them, so she only smiles at her, biting the corner of her lip lightly.

 

“If that’s okay with you.”

Lexa nods promptly.

“I’d like that.”

…            

Lexa opens her eyes, trying to control her ragged breathing and disentangling her fingers from blonde locks, letting her arms relax beside her body. She lets out a deep breath, closing her eyes again.

“Someone woke up feeling very energetic this morning.”

Clarke laughs loudly, licking her lips slowly and pecking Lexa’s thigh before finding her way to her lips. When she lies next to her, the brunette’s breathing is still a little ragged and she smirks, biting her lower lip and trying to remember why she didn’t think morning sex was a great deal before Lexa.

“I think I was mistaken about being a morning person.”

Lexa nods, turning her head and pressing her lips against Clarke’s lightly.

“Or you just like the incentive I offer you to open your eyes.” She giggles again, louder this time, throwing one arm over her torso and letting her fingers trace random patterns on Lexa’s tanned stomach, smiling wider when she starts to massage her scalp in retribution. After a few minutes Lexa tilts her head slightly, pecking Clarke’s forehead and whispering directly on her wild sex hair. “I’m meeting Anya and Lincoln at the arena this morning.”

Clarke does her best not to pout.

“So you’re leaving the bed now?”

Lexa shakes her head before rolling over Clarke’s body and whispering into her ear.

“It would be very rude of me leaving the bed before returning the favor.”  

“They are so beautiful now, Anya.”

She smiles at him, nodding proudly.

“Yeah.” She pats the brown horse’s back affectionately. “They were sick last time you saw them. Lexa and I had just picked them at the abandoned ranch. They were thin. But now they are healthy and not so skittish anymore.” She looks at a smiling Lincoln again, a pensive expression on her face. “I think you shouldn’t mount Khaleesi, because you’re too tall and heavy for her. But good look trying to mount Drogo.” She turns to face the brunette next to them, who has a surprising smirk on her lips. “He is Lexa’s pet. She is the only one he allows to mount him.”

Lincoln glances at the beautiful white horse near them, staring at him smugly.

“I’m sure it will be easy.”

A small scoff leaves Lexa’s lips and he glances at her, a defiant expression on his eyes. “What? Are you, the one who broke her arm falling from a pony’s back, suggesting you’re better at this thing than I am?” He rolls his eyes, already stepping forward and stretching his hand towards Drogo. “Pff. Please, Lex. I will -”

Drogo huffs when Lincoln’s hand touches him, walking backwards, and Lexa steps closer to him, running her hand on his neck with a smirk on her lips.

“Were you saying?”

Anya laughs loudly, patting Lincoln’s back.

“I’ll lend you one of my horses, Linc. No problem.”

Lexa is already mounting Drogo when he nods, and she winks at him when she starts to trot slowly. He shakes her head, defeated, and Anya starts to drag him towards the barn, Khaleesi’s reigns on her hand.

“Morning, weirdos.”

She turns to look at the source of the voice, nodding at Raven, Clarke and Octavia, who are standing at the other side of the fence.

“Good Morning.” She trots towards them, glancing at Raven, who is already climbing on the fence. “Are you planning to ride too?”

Raven jumps from the fence, turning to look at Clarke and Octavia.

“Yeah. These lovely ladies wanna learn how to ride so I thought we should join the class.”

Lexa nods, bringing Drogo to a stop and unmounting him easily.

“I think we can manage it.” She reaches for Octavia’s hand, and the brunette gives her a curious look before accepting the help to climb off of the fence. When she is standing safe and sound next to Lexa the taller brunette turn to Clarke, whose hand is already searching for hers. “Khaleesi is a great horse, it will make learning how to ride very easy.” Clarke glances at Drogo wonderingly, and Lexa holds her hand, tugging her towards the majestic horse. “I’m the only one who can mount him, but maybe he allows you to do it if I’m also on his back.”

Clarke nods hesitantly, allowing Lexa to bring their interlaced hands to his fur.

“Are you sure? Suddenly I can’t take Christopher Reeve out of my mind.”

Lexa nods reassuringly at her, squeezing her hand gently.

“I wouldn’t put you in danger.”

A small smile appears on Clarke’s lips and she nods, the smile widening when the horse allows her to come closer.

They are so absorbed by the moment that they don’t notice Raven and Octavia walking towards the barn neither hear their teasing comments about weird horses’ names and disgustingly cute fuck buddies.

Lexa leans over Raven to hand the s’more to Clarke, chocolate and marshmallow streaming down her fingers. The blonde grabs it under Octavia’s attentive gaze, mumbling thanks before throwing it into her mouth and licking her fingers clean.

“Lexa? Don’t you think something was missing in that s’more?”

Lexa looks at her over the bonfire, a puzzled expression on her face.

“Clarke mentioned earlier she thinks that crackers are boring, so I thought she would like them better without it.” She glances at Clarke, visibly uncomfortable. “I can make the next one with crackers if you prefer them this way.”

“No.” The blonde shakes her head promptly, still swallowing the candy. “It was perfect this way.”

Octavia smirks, ignoring the pointed look Clarke is giving her from the tree stump near hers.

“Look at you, Lexa. Being all cute.”

Lexa shrugs shyly, looking at the pot full of marshmallows and reaching for it.

“I was just being a good host.” She picks a marshmallow, raising her head. “Someone wants one?”

“I do.” Raven shoves her shoulder playfully, winking discreetly at an uncomfortable Clarke. “With the crackers, ple- Oh, look who is coming back.” Raven pokes Clarke’s ribs and she looks ahead, spotting Lincoln and Anya walking towards them with a guitar and a few blankets. “Now this is a properly reunion around a bonfire.”

“You’re damn right.”

Lincoln smiles at Raven, taking a seat next to Octavia, and Anya occupies the empty space right next to him.

“And after singing and stuffing our faces with candies we can tell horror stories.” Octavia smiles widely. “Oh, and then Linc leaves to pee into the woods and gets killed.” She lowers her voice for dramatic reasons, bringing her face closer to the bonfire. “Or Linc and I move away from you to have sex and get killed. You know the drill.”

Anya and Raven laugh loudly, the last one shaking her head, visibly amused.

“Have you ever thought about being a screenplay writer, hot stuff?”

They laugh even harder and suddenly Lincoln is streaming the guitar.

“Let’s get this party started.”

Octavia’s eyes widen as soon as she approaches Clarke, who is sitting in front of the lake, a piece of charcoal over a sketchbook next to her.

“Are you drawing again?”

Clarke glances at her, offering her a small smile as a greeting

“Not really. I just woke up feeling like maybe drawing, so I brought it with me. Just in case.”

Maybe is great, Griff.” A huge, genuine smile is on Octavia’s lips when she takes a seat next to her friend. “I’m glad you’re feeling like being all artsy again.”

She shrugs, her smile getting a little bigger.

“I’m starting to feel like going back.”

She nods, her smile getting bigger, and then arches an eyebrow.

“So, what’s the deal between you and Lexa?”

She shrugs again, looking away and praying she isn’t blushing too hard.

“She is a great person.”

“Oh, I bet she is. And by your tiredness at this time of the morning, I bet she is great in certain things too.”

She smirks at Clarke’s uneasy expression, laughing loudly.

“Hm, yeah, she is great at these certain things.” She is blushing harder now, her gaze on the lake. “We’re just having a good time.”

“You two seem really close, despite not acting couple-y around us. Which reminds me to ask you: why aren’t you acting all cute around us, by the way? You know every single person on this ranch knows you’re doing the nasty, right?”

She nods, shrugging hesitantly.

“We aren’t acting like a couple because we aren’t a couple. We just noticed we have a great chemistry and decided to enjoy it for fourteen days. Acting too couple-y could mess up the things, and I’m sure neither of us is aiming that.”

“Oh yeah. I’m sure the breakfast and sweet slash funny notes thing is already enough for that.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, but shrugs again.

“She is a great person and I like talking to her about life and stuff. It helps me to think and to see things by another perspective.” She shrugs one more time, seeming less uncomfortable with the questioning. “But it’s just a developing friendship accompanied by a really great sexual chemistry. No more than that. I don’t even know much about her.” She looks at Octavia again, an almost pleading look in her eyes. “It can’t be more than that, O. I’m not ready.”

Octavia nods promptly, bumping her shoulder against Clarke’s.

“And how great is this sexual chemistry you’re talking about?”

Clarke sighs, visibly relieved for the change of subject, her cheeks displaying a dark tone of pink now.

“Do you know how we were wondering if a girl could hit the edge only with breast playing a while ago?” She smirks at Octavia’s widened eyes. “Well, let’s just say that now I know as a fact that it’s possible.”   

“Fuck you, you lucky bastard.”

She nods at Octavia and soon they are laughing. Hard.

She walks towards the living room, standing at the doorstep and smiling at the scene which greets her.

Lexa and Clarke are sitting on the couch, and the blonde, who has her phone tucked on her hand, is clearly showing something to the brunette. Lexa is leaning over Clarke shoulder and staring attentively at the screen, and nodding at something Clarke is saying.

She hates herself for interrupting such a cute moment but does it anyway, because priorities.

“Yo, Lex, we are gonna bake some pies tomorrow.” Lexa turns to look at her, arching one eyebrow. “We have no more flour.” She smiles guiltily at Lexa, who sighs audibly, already anticipating her next words. “Would you mind going to McCoy to buy some?”

“Why me?”

Raven shrugs, making her best whoops expression.

“Anya is in the same mood that someone who will lead a loud army into a dangerous war would be. I know better than asking anything to her when she is into warrior mode. And Linctavia is screwing somewhere.”

Clarke arches one eyebrow at Raven, staring curiously at her.

“Linctavia?”

“It’s so much easier and quicker than saying Lincon and Octavia, Griff.” Clarke laughs lowly, nodding, and Raven turns her attention back to Lexa. “So, will you save us from starving?”

Clarke giggles at Lexa’s almost pout, standing up from the couch and tugging on her sleeve.

“The pics of my paintings will still be here –“ she wiggles the phone in front of Lexa’s face “- when we come back. Octavia has been talking about these damn pies for days. I’m sure she would kick both of our asses if she found out about the flour issue.”

Raven gives her a thumbs up, smiling.

“Thank you, Clarke.”

Lexa huffs but stands up, catching the Chevy’s keys Raven threw on her direction in the air.

“Do you expect me to drive the Chevy?”

“If you wants to drive anything else, you will need to talk to your cousin. Good luck with that.” Lexa sighs before heading to the door, and Raven grins widely. “Thought so.”

“We are here for almost two hours now.” She glances at Lexa, who is staring at the engine with a death glare. “Two fucking hours, Woods. And I’m sure will start raining soon. I mean, look at the -”

Fuck.” She turns her head to glare at Clarke, who is staring at her with wide eyes. “Why don’t you stop talking for at least five seconds? Give me just five seconds of silence, please.”

Clarke’s jaw drops at her words but she recomposes quickly, snorting loudly and folding her arms in front of her chest, staring defiantly at Lexa.

“Because what you’re doing isn’t working and you refuse to accept -“

Lexa snorts, cleaning her hand on her pants, angrily.

“And you, suddenly, become a professional mechanic and know what to do? So why don’t you go ahead and fix it?” She stares at Clarke, who doesn’t move, and nods smugly after a few seconds. “Thought so.”

She stretches her arms, grabbing the hem of the hood and slamming it closed. When she is turns to walk towards the driver’s door Clarke grabs her wrist fiercely, stopping her.

“You’re being a jerk.”

She snorts again, shaking her head helplessly.

I am being a -” She sighs deeply, shaking her head one more time. “You know what? Just shut the fuck up.”

“Make me.”

Clarke is staring at her with dark blue eyes and a smirk on her lips and she closes the distance between them with one step, placing one hand on the back of Clarke’s neck and the other one on her hips, immediately bringing their bodies closer and kissing her fiercely. Clarke’s hands find their way to her waist in a split second and soon she is being pushed against the hood and Lexa is sucking particularly hard at her bottom lip.

“Ou- Fuck.”

She grips Clarke’s thighs, lifting her body just enough to place her on the edge of the hood. Their lips disconnect for a second but when they kiss again it’s hotter, more frantic. Lexa finds her way between Clarke’s legs before slipping her hands into her shorts, scratching her thighs harder than she should.

And Clarke isn’t sure if Lexa’s roughness is caused by anger or something else, but the wet warmth between her legs makes her sure she’s really into it, whatever it is.

“Fuck, Lexa.”

She pulls at brown hair fiercely, evoking a moan from Lexa, and the brunette leans back, their blown pupils locking.

“How are you this hot, Clarke?” She leans forward again, immediately attaching her lips to Clarke’s neck and sucking on it harshly, her hands almost touching Clarke’s groins under the shorts. “I could spend all day fucking you, every day, and never get tired of your body.”

Shivers spread across Clarke’s body at the harsh, dirty-ish sentence, because Lexa has been fucking her senseless since their first time, but she is usually quiet while doing it and the change on the brunette’s behavior is doing wonders to Clarke’s arousal – and her loud moans make it clear.

Clarke is brought back from her trance by strong hands grabbing both of her thighs and pulling at her legs, and she doesn’t have another choice but leaning backwards and pressing her elbows against the hood, moaning loudly at the sensation caused by Lexa’s hands slipping off of her shorts.

The inquisitive look Lexa gives her when she places both of her hands on the hem of her shorts melts her heart a little, because only the brunette could manage being harsh and respectful at the same time, and she nods frantically at Lexa, silently begging her to strip her naked. And she does it quickly and precisely, immediately grabbing Clarke’s thighs with more intent and hooking them over her shoulders.

And then she leans forwards and good Lord.

A panted curse word leaves Clarke’s parted lips and she lets her fingers slip between blond locks, pulling at them harshly because Lexa isn’t wasting any time and is working her tongue skillfully on her slit. But when Lexa sucks hard on her clit she relents, lying fully against the hood and resting her head against the window.

“So good Lex.” She bites her lip fiercely, trying to control her breathing and moaning louder when Lexa spreads her legs wider, letting her tongue slip inside the blonde for a moment. “Fuck.” Lexa’s fingers are buried on her thighs and she brings one of her hands to her own breasts, squeezing it hard over the shirt and moaning even louder. And then, suddenly, the sound of a thunder echoes and thick drops of rain start to fall over them and she presses Lexa’s head harder against her center with a shaking hand. “Don’t you dare to stop.”

She feels Lexa smirking against her skin before feeling the bite on her clit and she doesn’t know if it’s the roughness of the gesture, the adrenaline that is running through her veins or Lexa’s ability - or everything combined - that makes her hit the edge, but she slams her hand hard against the hood and arches her back, closing her eyes, moaning loudly and throbbing between Lexa’s swollen lips. The same lips which help her to ride the orgasm so dutifully.

When Lexa finally leans back she smiles at a panting Clarke, pushing some strays of wet hair off of her own forehead and putting the blonde’s panties and shorts back before reaching for her hand. Clarke smiles tiredly at her, letting out a deep breath before accepting the help to sit up.

Her hair is glued to her head now and she glances once at the wet white shirt glued to Lexa’s chest before jumping out of the hood, happy that Lexa keeps her precise hands on her waist for a second because she doesn’t trust her legs now.

They go back inside the pickup, water dripping from their hairs and clothes, and Lexa grips the wheel before trying to start the engine, looking at Clarke with wide eyes when it starts normally.

“Oh, thank God.” She smirks at Lexa before resting her head against the seat and closing her eyes. “I really hope it doesn’t stop again because I heard that wearing wet clothes for too long isn’t good for our health and I wouldn’t mind helping you to take yours off.”

Lexa doesn’t reply, but she really hopes the pickup doesn’t stop again too. 

Chapter Text

She wakes up feeling cold and a little weird, and the first thought that crosses her mind is how nice would be if Clarke and I were already on the spooning-after-sex phase of our almost relationship?

 She scowls lowly at the thought and quickly presses a hand against her mouth, glancing at Clarke to see if her sounds had woken her up and frowning immediately.

“Hey –” she turns on her side to look more easily at her, who is staring at the middle of the room and pouting “- what’s wrong?”

 She turns her head slowly, locking eyes with Lexa’s, the pout still on her lips.

“My clothes are on that gross wet pile over there and I don’t wanna put them back on to go to my room and grab my stuff.” She sighs, closing her eyes, pouting harder and moving closer to Lexa. “Why we thought ripping our wet clothes off and throwing them all over the place was a good idea?”

“Because we were in a hurry.” She smiles at Clarke’s grumpy expression, nodding in apparent understanding. “Now I get what Octavia was saying when comparing you to the Grumpy Cat.” She laughs at Clarke’s annoyed growl. “Come on, Griffin. I’ll pick some clothes for you, right? No need to pout adorably at me.” Acting on impulse she pecks the blonde’s lips before rolling off of the bed. She throws quickly an oversized shirt and some shorts on and opens the door just a crack, peeking outside before looking back at her bed. “Nobody is up yet, you can go to the bathroom. I’ll meet you there.”

 Clarke nods happily at her, the pout gone, and wraps the sheets firmly around her body. She giggles at the way Lexa’s eyes widen when she steals a kiss from her before leaving the room and tiptoeing towards the bathroom, and Lexa is left smiling at the scene. She shakes her head amusedly before going to Clarke’s room also on her tiptoes, carefully avoiding making any sound to not wake Raven – or, worst, Anya - up.

She walks straight towards Clarke’s suitcase, peeking into it and searching for something for the blonde to wear. She sighs a few moments later, straightening her body and staring at the suitcase with a tilted head. She glances at the closed window before nodding at herself and picking Clarke’s shoes from the floor, throwing them very silently into the bag before picking it and carrying it carefully to her room. She places it next to her bed, open her windows, and with the daylight helping her she manages to find an outfit very easily.

Walking towards the bathroom with some pieces of clothing in her hands, she smiles. Because Clarke has been sleeping in her bed for four nights, and keeping all her things in another room doesn’t seem logical at all.

 …

“Clarke wants learn how to fix the Chevy’s engine. Could you teach her, Rae?”

Clarke’s head turns very quickly, her eyebrows arched and her mouth slightly open.

“You didn’t.”

Lexa shrugs with one shoulder, sniffling before sipping her tea.

“I did. Next time you will think twice before complaining that much.”

Octavia and Lincoln laugh loudly, and Raven smiles at Clarke, seeming a little puzzled.

“Of course I can teach some things to her, I am a certified genius. But may I ask why you’re asking for it?”

“The Chevy broke again last night. We spend some time stuck on the road and she complained so much about it that I almost didn’t drive her back when the engine finally worked again.”

“Oh, so that was the reason everybody was already sleeping when you came back.” Raven fights against a smirk, glancing at Lexa with an amused expression. “And how did you fix it?”

Lexa shrugs, fighting against the blush that is forming on her cheeks, all her focus suddenly on her tea.

“I don’t really know. But hood was hit a few times. Maybe it was that.”

Rae snorts, shaking her head and standing up.

“So it just started working again, out of the blue?” At Lexa’s nod she scoffs, shaking her head one more it. “Okay, then. Anyway, are y’all ready to gos? I guess Anya is already waiting for us at the barn. We have quite a lot to do today.”

“I will make you some tea. Suck it up.”

“But you don’t need to. I can do it myself.” She shrugs, her droopy eyes locked with Clarkes’s, and opens her mouth widely, squinting her eyes before sneezing.

“I apologize. Also, it’s not like you’re sleeping in my room to make me tea.”

Clarke snorts, leaning forward to press a hand against Lexa’s forehead and frowning immediately.

“I don’t wanna make out with your germs, silly. Also, I’m sure you have a fever.” She tilts her head, smiling pleadingly at a scoffing Lexa. “You spent the entire day sniffling and sneezing, Lex. The rain made you sick. Let me take care of you tonight.” She stares at Lexa, who mumbles I don’t get sick before covering under her stare and nodding, earning a wide smile from the blonde. “Great. So hang in there. I’ll be right back.”

“I’m happy you’re feeling better today, Lexa.”

Raven smiles at her and she nods briefly at him, and Clarke fights against the urge to tell the world how happy she is now Lexa is feeling better and energetic again. Instead she chooses to learn new things about her new friend.

“How did you meet each other?”

Raven smiles at her before glancing at Lexa, who is a few steps ahead, between Lincoln and Octavia.

“Lex and I met at college. At an elective we both took in our first year. But we really bonded when I convinced her to join me as a camp counselor.”

“What?”

Lexa turns her head to look at Clarke, who is staring at Raven, evidently puzzled.

“I went some through -“ she looks ahead again, visibly uncomfortable “- rough things on my first year of college and I thought being a camp counselor could be a good thing for me, to help me to find my way. So Raven suggested I joined her so we spent our first summer break as camp counselors.”

Raven nods, smiling widely.

“We spent two months together and since then we are even better friends. So when Lexa decided to have a sabbatical and came here, I decided I need a sabbatical too.” She throws a small rock on Lexa’s back, who turns to glare at her. “What friendship bracelets put together life can’t bring apart, y’know?” She winks at Lexa, who is rolling her eyes. “Bros for life.”

Clarke smiles at Raven, nodding.

“It’s a good one.” She glances at Octavia, quickly. “Way more poetical than mine and O’s, which involves bloody noses and stolen food.” She grins widely, making air quotes and laughing at her friends confused gazes. “Octavia kept forgetting to put her food on her lunch bag, but somehow she decided 5 years old me was” she makes air quotes again “stealing for her and that the way to fix it was punching my nose. Her aunt made she apologize the other day and she gave me some Hershey’s, my fave chocolate, so I decided we could be best friend. Even if she accused me of being a criminal. Because I have my priorities straight.”

Octavia scoffs loudly, rolling her eyes.

“It’s the only straight thing about you.”

They laugh loudly and Clarke flips Octavia off, whose grin widens. “Also, did you just learned how to use air quotes or are you needing to exercise your carpal tunnel.” She wiggles her eyebrows at Clarke. “Are you using it too much, Griff?”

Clarke stares at her wide-eyed and open-mouthed, the “you didn’t” look in her eyes, and everybody but Lexa – whose face is painfully red now – laughs at her. It goes for a few seconds, then Lexa cleans her throat lowly before shushing them.

“We are almost arriving at the bank. The fishes like silence.”

Anya snorts loudly but whispers back at her.

“You’re annoying, kiddo.”

Lexa turns to glare at her, an outraged expression on her face.

“Stop calling me that. You are barely an year old. And stop complaining, you old lady. You wanted to learn how to fish. I must teach you how to do it right.”

Lincoln laughs lowly, placing one hand on Lexa’s shoulder.

“Don’t mind her. Being deprived of her right to say sassy things to us is too hard for An.”

Anya snorts again but gives up her attempt to deny it when she spots Raven nodding enthusiastically at Lincoln.

“Okay, maybe I have some issues with it, but I’ll prove to you I can be completely mute.” She stops, nodding towards the river and dropping the creel and the net onto the floor. “May the best fisher win.”

It just makes me kind of sad, y’know? She thinks she needs to leave the room to answer a call about work because of me. And she doesn’t.” She sighs deeply, seeming a little tired. “It sucks I was fired at the same day she was promoted. It really does. But she is my best friend and I’m very happy for her. The promotion was so well deserved.”

Lexa nods slowly, glancing around before looking back at Clarke.

“I’m sure she knows you’re happy for her, Clarke. But she seems to be very protective towards you.” She offers the blonde a little, encouraging smile. “I’m sure she is just trying to protect your feelings, even if you don’t need it anymore. It’s kind of what we do to our best friends.” Clarke nods hesitantly, and Lexa’s smile gets bigger. “How did your friendship developed after the whole food debacle?”

“Oh, we became inseparable. Specially because her aunt, who raised her and her brother, moved to the house next to ours two months after that.” She smiles and Lexa nods happily at her, the smile still on her face. “I never had a female friend before Octavia. I was too introverted to make friends and I grew up with Murphy and Wells, who where our neighbors too. But she was a very energetic and determined child so we became best friends very fast.”

They enter the barn and Lexa motions at a pile of hay bales.

“Want to take a seat? The walk almost killed me.”

Clarke snorts but takes a seat, patting the empty space next to her.

“Come have a seat then, you big baby.”

Lexa rolls her eyes, taking a seat next to Clarke and sighing.

“Are you this annoying all the time?”

“No. Only half of it.” Lexa snorts, shoving Clarke’s shoulder playfully and Clarke shoves her back, grinning. “Anyway, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me because of your tiredness, Octavia was my first friend, with a capital F. She was the one who stood up for me when I was being mocked on school for being a weird nerd, the one who held my hand when I started to struggle with my sexuality. She made me the drinks and then rubbed my back and pulled my hair up when I was throwing up.” She shrugs, smiling wider. “She was my favorite person, my role model, my reference.” Lexa nods attentively, taking a sip of water before handing the bottle to Clarke. “We grew up in New Jersey, and when she decided she wanted to go to College in New York I didn’t even applied to Colleges that where in other cities. We went to the same University. I even joined her gym to spend more time with her. Back at time my main goal was to become a doctor. And I was doing a good job, I was happy. But something was a little off, you know? Something was missing. And then I decided to turn my hobby into my work.” She takes a sip of water, sighing loudly. “I graduated and soon I had lots of people wanted to display my art, to buy them. And I was happy painting but people had a lot to say about it. About the non-traditional career I had chosen, about how I should work harder if I wanted to be able to make a living out of it. And even with Octavia and my parents telling me it was okay doing the things on my pace, on my way, I felt compelled to try harder into the right direction.” She snorts lowly, turning to look at Lexa. “Finn used to tell me I was too good to be only a painter. He was always telling me I could do better, bigger, even when I accomplished cool things. So when I was chose as the curator of a big art gallery he was so happy that I thought I was doing the right thing, spending less time trying to paint and more time selling real art.”

“How is it possible for me hating someone I don’t even know?”

Clarke shrugs, biting the corner of her lip, where a small smile forms.

“I think it is cute you hating him. I mean, you seem to be very loyal and protective when we are talking about your people. So it fits.”

“Maybe that’s the reason, then.” She glances at Clarke, her expression sobering  “Anyway, I get what you were saying. Our society has some shitty standards and likes to elect a right way to do everything. We have to follow the right way to love, the right way to dress, to speak, to do whatever we try to do. And this pattern is very present when we talk about careers too. We need to have everything figured out when we are like eighteen and God forbid us to find out we were wrong or to want to do things a little different.” She smiles sadly at Clarke and its evident that was a struggle during her life too. “If you don’t fit into this crazy and messed-up scheme you’re truly fucked because the ones who decide the right and wrong and the ones who follow this bipartite scheme are also pretty judgmental. And angry.” She glances at Clarke again, shrugging. “People say we are raised to be followers and that just a few of us will be leaders and that it’s a pretty brave thing to do. Leading. But I think this is bullshit. Because the majority of our leaders aren’t defying the system, are they? They are only reproducing it and that’s not really brave of them.” She shrugs one more time. “I think the brave ones are those who decide to follow their paths. Ignoring what the world thinks about right or wrong, you know? They just do what will make them happy at the end of the day. And even if they are doing what society thinks it is right, they are doing it for themselves. For their happiness. This is braveness.” She looks at Clarke, shrugging again, a light tone of pink coloring her cheeks. “Choosing to be happy is a brave thing to do, Clarke. You’re one of the brave ones.”

Clarke shakes her head quickly, blushing widely, and leaning to pick a twig from the floor. 

“I’m not so sure about it. I mean, I don’t think I’m that brave. Not when I’m feeling so lost and shitting my pants constantly about my future. And yeah, maybe I tried to pursuit my happiness, even if in a twisted way. But I failed. Hard.”

“And trying and failing is succeeding at trying.” She grins widely at Clarke’s roll of eyes. “It really is!.You could have chosen to do a different thing. Or not to even trying. But you put yourself out there. You tried and you learned. Success.”

“Oh God, I think you really are a self-help guru.” She shakes her head, smirking. “What a shame.” She giggles when Lexa rolls her eyes and shoves her lightly. “Really, though. I’ve realizing a couple of things here.” She waves vaguely, her eyes focused on anything but Lexa. “It’s just – sometimes we get so caught up in work or whatever, on our own problems or situations of the world that we forget that simple things are really great sometimes if you just allow yourself to see beauty in then.” She smiles at the brunette, a light tone of pink covering her cheeks. “I was really caught up in my uncountable problems. I wasn’t really seeing beauty in simple things.” She snorts, shaking her head. “I mean, not at all. But since I arrived here I feel like I’m allowing myself to do it again, y’know? To take a deep breath and just let the universe and all its good things fill my lungs.”

Lexa nods at her, a small smile on her lips.

“This is great. Really great. I’m happy you’re seeing beauty on simple things again because at the end of the day that is what really counts. I mean, for me being happy is more about enjoying these little cool things. It’s not every day something incredible will happen, and if we look just for the big and supposedly important things we will be unhappy ninety percent of the time. And then, when something incredible happens, we will not even be able to acknowledge it anymore.”

“I guess you’re right. And here I’m really noticing it now. The beauty of the small things.” She smiles back at Lexa before sighing deeply. “I’m a little worried about going back to LA, though. About going back to my life. What if I also go back to my old habits?”

Lexa reaches blindly for her hand, holding it her expression sobering.

“It’s a possibility. But the knowledge, the realizations, the sensations, they will be with you.” She squeezes Clarke’s hand before letting go and smiling wider at her. “I’m sure you will know how to use this fact in your favor.”  

“You have too much faith on me, Lexa Woods.”

Lexa shrugs before standing up and starting to walk again.

“Or maybe you have very little faith on yourself, Clarke Griffin.”

She turns to look at Clarke over her shoulder, winking at her before walking away, and the blonde grins wider before following her.

Because maybe Lexa is right.

And she is really okay with being wrong this time.