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Feel This Moment

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They don’t really talk about it.

Well, not really anyway.

“Ronan. Touch me.”

Those were the first words that really started it all.

They had kissed before and made out with each other countless times, but this new thing between them hadn’t progressed any further. They didn’t put a label on it. Mostly for the fact that Ronan hated labels and he didn’t want to freak Adam out by slapping one on what they were to each other now. Labels were meant to keep people in separate little boxes; Ronan didn’t think either of them belonged in a box.

So, there was kissing and rolling around with each other. They slept in the same bed on most nights, either at St. Agnes, Monmouth, or the Barns. Some clothes were shed almost every time they were together. But their pants usually stayed on, for the most part.

It usually started out like this: Some soft touches of affection or burning desire in one’s eyes led to them kissing, which led to shirts coming off and hands roaming bare chests. It depended on the mood, but usually Adam was the one in charge. Ronan was the one who couldn’t control his breathing, still couldn’t believe that Adam Parrish was kissing him, half naked. Ronan secretly liked it when Adam was in control too.

Ronan would never hurt Adam; that much was obvious. So when things would get a little rough like, hands grabbing and small bites on necks here and there, Ronan would always pull back to look into Adams eyes, make sure this was okay, that he wanted this. Ronan knew of the abusive from Adams father all too well. He would punch his fucking lights out if he ever had the chance again, of course, only if that was what Adam wanted.

So Ronan was careful with Adam. Always asked what he wanted from him, never tried to rush things. He was completely happy with Adam, even though there was no touching below waist level. Ronan wasn’t concerned about it at all really. Of course he thought about it, every time he was with Adam he was hard up for him, and he was pretty sure that Adam was too. But Ronan figured the physical stuff would come later in their relationship, after all this was new to the both of them.

Adam wanted to be more physical too, he just didn’t know how to bring it up. They hadn’t talked about it, but Adam was pretty sure that Ronan hadn’t done anything sexual with anyone else either. In the back of his mind, he knew all he had to do was ask Ronan if they could try something new, but it was just too embarrassing.

Finally, when they were under the covers in Ronans bed at Monmouth, Adam said those words that he could not take back.

“Ronan. Touch me.”

After he said it, he realized they should’ve talked about it first, rather than Adam springing this request on him in the heat of the moment. He couldn’t help it though, he’s been thinking about it a lot lately and he’s really horny and-

Ronan is starting to unbutton his jeans. Adam just blinks at him, can’t believe this is really happening. When Ronan glances back up at him, he has a slight smile on his lips. Adam rolls over so he can properly kick his jeans off and drop them over the side of the bed. When Adam turns back, Ronan has his own pants unbuttoned, but pauses when he catches Adams eye.

“Is this okay?” He asks Adam.

I’m nervous. “Yeah.” Adam answers. He feels almost rude for not helping Ronan with his pants but, he figures there will be another time for that.

Now, they’re both in just boxers and Ronan still hasn’t touched him yet like he asked. Instead, he reaches out to Adam. Theyre both on their sides, facing each other. Ronan puts a hand on Adams hip, pulling him closer, while leaning onto his bent elbow with the other arm, slightly leaning over Adam. Adams not totally sure where Ronan is going with this, until their clothed erections brush each other. He gasps, louder than he will admit, and Ronan laughs a little breathlessly. They’re grinding together, Ronan controlling the movements, being half on top of Adam. But, it’s nice. Adam likes seeing him up there. His dick really likes it, and he pushes his hips forward and leaves them there, hoping Ronan will just kept pushing their hips together. It’s an incredible feeling that Adam can’t really put into words, much less make sense of in his head. A few months ago he never even considered that he would be in this position right now.

They stay that way for a little while, grinding against each other with open mouthed kisses. Ronans hands in Adams hair, Adams hands attached to Ronans back, as if he can actually feel Ronans tattoo. They’re panting hard into each others mouths, each of them trying to cover up the soft moans coming out of their mouths.

Just when Adam thinks he can’t take it anymore, Ronan kisses him firmly on the mouth and pulls back. He puts his hand on Adams cheek and the other running up and down Adams side. Ronan doesn’t think he’s ever seen Adam look so beautiful.

Ronan doesn’t want to ask Adam what he wants next, doesn’t want to talk and ruin the moment. He’s afraid if he speaks it’ll all disappear, that he’ll wake up from a wonderful dream. So instead he grabs Adams hand and places it on his stomach, moving it downward until it reaches his boxer briefs. The two boys are both flushed, still breathing hard, staring at each other.

Ronan stares into Adams eyes, asking, no, begging Adam to take the next step. And Adam does. He sits up on the bed and starts tugging Ronans waistband down with both hands; his eyes never leave Ronans face, until he tosses the boxers off the side of the bed. He pauses in his movements, hesitates getting back under the covers with Ronan. For a split second, Ronan thinks that Adam might run, start putting his clothes on and saying something like ‘this was a mistake’. Ronans surprised to find that he does the exact opposite. He turns so he’s facing away from Ronan and takes off his boxers hastily, before quickly getting back under the sheets. Now they’re both naked, separated by about an arm’s length on the bed. All Ronan can do is stare at Adam, mouth hanging open. He’s shocked by the overwhelming feeling of love he has for this boy. Adam smiles and leans in to kiss Ronan, pushing his tongue into his open mouth.

It’s a shock again, when their erections touch, no clothes separating them. They both gasp and pull apart to look at each other, then crush their mouths together again.

Ronan is the first to break away, gently pushing Adam to lay on his back. He runs his hand down Adams chest, pausing at his navel. He looks up at Adam, who gives him a shaky nod. Ronan wraps his hand around Adams cock, memorizing the sound that slips out of his mouth. It’s less of a groan, and more of a whimper, or a purr. He moves his hand slowly along Adams shaft, up and down, over the head, and all the way to the base. He’s memorizing every movement Adam makes. Adams trying to move his hips in a rhythm with Ronan’s hand, but Ronan doesn’t have a rhythm, he’s just feeling. He’s feeling the most intimate part of Adam, finding the most sensitive parts of him, what makes his breath hitch, what makes his muscles spasm. Ronan’s hand moves lower and he starts to caress Adams balls, slowly feeling the smooth skin. He’s not really aware of anything else right now, but he knows he’s making noises. He can sense Adam looking at him when a groan slips out of his mouth when he fully cups Adams balls.

Adam doesn’t even know what planet he’s on right now, everything just feels so fucking fantastic, but he’s starting to feel guilty that he hasn’t given Ronan any of the attention he’s been giving him. He manages to find the feeling in his arms and starts to push himself to sit up. Just as he’s reaching for Ronans dick, Ronan grabs his hand. He brings it to his mouth, kissing his fingers, his palm. In a quick movement, he’s flipping them over, putting Adam on top, with his hands on his hips. Adam laughs and smiles down at Ronan, a blush rising on his fair skin. He kisses Ronan with a new passion stiring in his chest. They’re groaning as they grind their hard cocks together. Adams vagely aware of Ronans hand leaving his hip and moving somewhere else until- oh.

Ronan somehow manages to get his hand around both of their erections, holding them against each other and stroking them both. Adam thinks his brain has just melted into liquid or something; he never knew this was something he was missing out on.

“That… feels so good.” Adam breaths out.

“Fuck.” Is the only response Ronan can come up with. He's breathing hard and moaning just as much as Adam is.

“Your turn.” Ronan says. Adam is momentarily confused until Ronan releases them, grabbing Adams hand to stroke them again.

“Oh shit.” Adam says, continuing to stroke them together. He’s moving his hips too, trying to get the tiniest bit of more friction. One of his hands is touching their cocks while his other is grabbing Ronans shoulder so hard he’s probably leaving hail marks on him.

Adam continues his rhythm for awhile until he starts to notice that Ronan is shaking. He’s a little taken aback, thinking maybe he’s doing something wrong. He lets go of them and leans back to look at him. Ronans breathing hard, possibly harder than before, and he’s not even being touched right now. Adam swears that he sees tears in Ronans eyes, but he could be mistaken.


But Ronan is still shaking, opening and closing his mouth like he wants to say something, but ultimately gives up. He pushs his face into the side of Adams neck, letting his forehead rest on Adams shoulder. His hands frantically clutch at Adams back, fighting to keep them close together, almost as if he’s afraid that Adam will disappear on him. Adam has no idea what is going on right now, but he holds Ronan as tight as he can. He realizes that he doesn’t ever want to let Ronan go, wants to stay like this holding him for as long as he can. Adam feels a slight tightness in his chest at the thought of never feeling this moment again. He pulls and tugs at Ronans shoulder until he finally falls back on the bed and reveals his face to Adam. His eyes are read and theres a single tear falling down the left side of his face. Adam gently brushes the tear away with his thumb.

“You’re beautiful.” Adam says. “All of you.”

Adam feels the intensity of this moment and kisses Ronan, trying to make him feel what he’s feeling, how tight his chest is. All too quickly, Adam is pulling away and his face goes out of Ronans line of view. When he looks down, he sees Adam licking his lips before closing them around Ronans dick. Ronan falls back down on the bed with a low moan.

It doesn’t take long for Ronan to come, he was already close before. Adam experiments on Ronans cock a little at first, small licks and open mouthed kisses until he swallows it down, as much as he can at least.

“Adam, I’m-“ That’s all the warning Ronans able to give before Adams pulls off and strokes him a few times before he’s coming, grabbing Adams free hand with his own as he rides out his orgasm.

Adam falls down next to Ronan on the bed, letting their hands fall apart from each other. Ronan is still coming down from his high, but Adams so horny he has to do something. He never thought he could get so turned on by watching Ronan come undone under his own hands.

Ronan opens his eyes when he feels the bed begin to shake beside him. He looks over and his cock is instantly trying to get hard again at the sight of Adam Parrish touching himself.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Ronan asks. But it’s not in his normal voice when he asks Adam something, it’s a teasing tone, laced with arousal. “You’re doing so good on your own.”

“Fuck, Ronan. Touch me.” Adam groans at Ronans words, just wanting to come already. He’s starting to get there, taking on a faster rythum when Ronan takes his hand and removes it. Adam is about to protest this, but before he can, Ronans hot mouth is on him, going all the way down his shaft in one slide. He’s only able to bob his head about five times before Adam is coming. Ronan swallows his orgasm, kissing his thigh lightly after he’s done.

Ronan gets off the bed to find a bottle of water in his bedroom. When he finds one, he swishes it around in his mouth a little before he swallows a few more sips. He hops back on the bed and starts kissing a blissed-out Adam Parrish. He’s putting everything he has into this kiss, all the emotions that were spilling out earlier, everything he wants this relationship to be. He hopes Adam can tell how much he wants this; not just the sex, but him, here. He wants Adam, always has, and he knows that this isn’t a dream this time.