It was late. Drink had happened.
Ni~ya stifled a yawn and nuzzled closer into Yomi’s shoulder, trying to walk his feet up the side of the bed and underneath Sakito’s covers. He opened his eyes momentarily as a square of chocolate hit him on the ear.
“And as I was saying”, continued Sakito, glaring tipsily at him, “minor details not withstanding, that was a fine performance. It’ll be a great dvd.”
“Yeah, we know why you two thought it was great”, retorted Ni~ya snarkily, raising an eyebrow in the direction of Hitsugi, who blushed and looked out of the window.
“Look, can we go to sleep now Saki?” begged Ruka, who was getting a terrible cramp in his leg from supporting both Ni~ya and a slumbering Yomi. They were all gathered on Sakito’s bed for the traditional post-live minute by minute dissection; Sakito still in half his stage clothes, bright eyes glowing with success and alcohol, and the others slumped around him in various stages of snooze; except Hitsugi, who was perched on the end of the bed and staring very intently at the floor and the ceiling, alternately.
Sakito raised his eyes to heaven, but nodded.
“Go on then. Ruka, please leave Yomi alone tonight, he has a lot to do tomorrow.”
Ruka looked pointedly at his snoring little companion. “You’ve no worries there.” He grabbed both of his sleeping friends by the ear. “Come on you bastards.” They stood up amidst complaints and grumbles.
“See you two tomorrow”, grinned Ruka as they exited. Ni~ya managed an unsubtle, sleepy wink at them.
Sakito watched them go with a fond, exasperated expression. Then, as usual, it was just the two of them. Sakito normally liked Hitsugi to stay longer, as it gave him someone to nitpick to and Hitsugi was the only one who would stand it for a decent amount of time, in Sakito’s opinion.
Now he watched Hitsugi’s tense, uncomfortable stance with both desire and pity. Normally the younger guitarist would loll across the bed and listen placidly, able to drape himself anywhere like the cat he so closely resembled sometimes. At present, however, Hitsugi was sitting primly on the edge of the bed like a Victorian school-mistress, apparently oblivious to Sakito’s hungry expression.
What’s he so frightened of? wondered Sakito musingly. It wasn’t as though Hitsugi had never had a girlfriend before. He reached out slowly and softly stroked his fingers along the nape of Hitsugi’s neck.
The general reaction to this normally led Sakito to expect a knowing smile, a returning caress, or even a quick pounce. What he did not expect was for Hitsugi to leap into the air as though he’d been electrified, stumble to his feet and stammer,
“I’m, um, really tired now Saki, I think I drank too much. Let’s talk about the live in the morning”, then back out of the room so fast you’d think there was a prize at the other end. Yet this is just what he did.
“Hey…!” called Sakito after him. When Hitsugi did not reappear as normal, Sakito flowed upright and stared out the door at the empty hallway. He stood there, perplexed, then slid the door shut and went back to bed to wait. He waited while he changed into his pyjamas. He waited while he removed his makeup. He waited while he brushed his teeth. He turned off the light and lay down, and tried waiting like that, but it wasn’t any better. He sat up indignantly.
He can’t have changed his mind, he thought firmly. He had felt how Hitsugi had reacted to his kisses, sure that he had felt the same jolt of attraction and emotion. But… Sakito had never experienced rejection before, yet there had to be a first time for everything. He bit his perfect lip worriedly.
He must be just nervous, he told himself. He was aware how childlike the youngest member of his band could be in certain odd situations. He sighed. That must be it. And in that case, a firm hand was needed. His dark eyes narrowed. When Sakito set his sights on a target, it didn’t stand a chance.
He picked up the phone receiver, then put it down, fumbled in his trouser pocket till he found Hitsugi’s extension and picked it up again. Then he put it down and tried to figure out what he was going to say. He picked it up and got so far as dialling the number before he put it down again.
Screw this, he thought as the image of rejection flitted through his mind. He mentally slapped himself, picked up the receiver and firmly dialled the number. He heard it begin to ring and gripped the phone until his knuckles whitened.
Hitsugi groaned, gathered his energy, and without opening his eyes flopped over to the other side of the bed. He flailed in the general direction of the bedside table until his hand connected with the receiver, and fumbled it up to his ear.
“Hitsugi.” The guitarist’s eyes snapped open, pulse increasing noticeably. “Get in here.”
“Wha? But -”
“No buts. Now.” Hitsugi winced as Sakito slammed the phone down in his ear, then concentrated on trying to stop his knees knocking together. He sat up and chewed on his thumb for a minute, half wishing he was sharing a room with Yomi again, incessant chattering notwithstanding, so that he’d have an excuse not to go.
Still, any number of excuses weren’t enough to ignore a summons from Sakito. Obeying years of subconscious habit and yearning, Hitsugi swung his legs out of bed, pulled his socks up and shuffled out of his room and off down the corridor.
He counted down the doors, goosebumps raising on his arms from cold and nervousness, finally stopping. He took a breath and steeled himself, knocking firmly. There was some muffled grumbling, then the door was pulled back.
“Do you have any idea what t - who the hell are you?!” A handsome middle-aged woman glared out, long hair braided and wearing a yukata and an expression of sleepy annoyance.
“Ahh! Oh god, I, er, I, sorry! I mean… sorry!” Hitsugi flapped his hands frantically at her in confusion and bowed profusely before setting back off down the hall at a near-run.
This is impossible, he thought to himself, nerves strung out on a wire. I should have just pretended to be asleep. He carried on walking, now meticulously checking the room numbers, heart going at what he felt sure must be an unhealthy speed.
He hovered outside Sakito’s room in the dark, biting his nails, until the door slid open and a shapely hand stuck out, latching on to his t-shirt and pulling him into the room. The door slammed behind him, leaving nowhere to go but forward into Sakito’s arms. He was tugged further into the room until Sakito’s face became visible, ethereally beautiful in the dim light.
“Well? Were you just going to wait out there all night?” murmured Sakito, releasing Hitsugi and prodding him in the chest with a slim finger.
“Er… er…what?” blustered the shorter guitarist, still with a niggling feeling that he might be misunderstanding the entire situation.
“Don’t you ‘what’ me”, whispered Sakito, emphasising each word with a stab of his finger. He raised his hand and fondly stroked Hitsugi’s still crazy hair, while the younger man looked down at his feet, blushing inanely. Suddenly impatient with Hitsugi’s shilly-shallying, Sakito swept him into a kiss. Hitsugi, of course, immediately caved in and lost himself in the soft sensations of his friend’s advance, until he smashed his head inadvertently on the doorframe, bringing him back to reality. He grabbed Sakito’s perfect shoulders and pushed him away to arm’s length, at the same time revelling in the smooth loveliness of Sakito’s skin beneath his hands.
“Stop, stop, ok?!”
Sakito looked at him doubtfully out of unbearably beautiful, hurt eyes.
“This isn’t going to work!” Hitsugi told him earnestly, trying desperately to concentrate on what he was saying.
“What?” asked Sakito in a small, upset voice that Hitsugi was almost sure was fake.
“All this!” Hitsugi waved one arm around emphatically, incidentally keeping his grip on Sakito with the other. “You! Me! This sort of thing isn’t meant to happen!”
Sakito frowned his small frown, looking so delightfully attractive that Hitsugi could barely keep himself from smothering him with kisses.
“Why not? I do love you.”
Hitsugi almost swooned at this admission, but managed to retain his sense of deep foreboding.
“Saki, people like me aren’t supposed to be able to get someone like you. It goes against all the laws of nature!”
Raising one delicate eyebrow, Sakito looked at him quizzically.
“You’re being paranoid now, Hitsu. Stop it.”
Hitsugi shook his head solemnly, and with an expression of deeply confidential doom intoned,
“Something’s going to go horribly wrong.”
Sakito rolled his lovely eyes and batted his friend’s hand away before sliding in to his personal space and grabbing his chin firmly, not letting him look away.
“If I can’t have you…don’t look at the floor when I’m talking to you!… If I can’t have you, I shan’t have anybody”, he told Hitsugi firmly, murmuring the final words against his lips. He could feel the desire and fear coming off him in waves, how he shifted to meet Sakito’s mouth but pulled back at the final second.
“You’re making mountains out of molehills again, Hitsu”, he told the feline man. He took Hitsugi by the hand and pulled him over to the bed. Hitsugi glumly watched his friend walking gracefully ahead of him, pyjama trousers slung low on his hips, hems bagging around his feet, and tried to figure out whether Sakito had been listening to a word he was saying.
“Now you have a sit down and don’t worry about a thing”, Sakito continued in a motherly tone, pushing Hitsugi down onto the covers, reclining luxuriously against the headboard himself.
Hitsugi sat there, looking down at his hands, unsure if he’d be able to put up with five more minutes of this kind of behaviour before all his moral defences crumbled. What are you talking about? he thought. You don’t have any moral issues, this is pure fear of rejection. He continued to sit quietly, darting little glances at Sakito, afraid to meet his hypnotic gaze.
Sakito waited patiently for the flame-haired man to work through whatever was bothering him. After a while he wondered if Hitsugi had actually gone back to sleep before he noticed movement.
“Hitsu?” The slender guitarist could feel the bed shiver imperceptibly beneath him. He laid a hand gently on Hitsugi’s. “You’re trembling”, he murmured, moving his lips closer to Hitsugi’s ear and feeling him start back.
“I -” Hitsugi broke off, dark eyes opening wide as Sakito’s delicate mouth brushed his skin before slim fingers grabbed him by the collar, pulling him down over the bed. By the time he had panicked enough to tug himself back so that he wasn’t lying sprawled over Sakito, Sakito’s eyes had locked firmly with his. He felt the familiar, terrifying impact of the beautiful guitarist’s gaze, exacerbated by the fingernails softly caressing the back of his neck.
“Er - but - I -”, he gibbered.
“Don’t start again”, Sakito whispered fiercely, not about to let his friend dither his way out another time; he leaned up and kissed Hitsugi hard on the mouth, suddenly breathless as he felt the stab of cold metal against his lower lip. After a moment of tense stillness the other man began to kiss him back, and he felt the pressure increase until it was almost pain. He tangled his hands in Hitsugi’s wild hair, letting out a quiet sigh of pleasure.
“Sakito”, Hitsugi breathed against his friend’s exquisite mouth, fingers tracing wonderingly along his cheekbone, “I - don’t want to hurt you”. Sakito yanked Hitsugi’s head up, licking his lips impatiently as the young guitarist winced.
“You’re not hurting me”, he informed Hitsugi tersely, pulling him down again and kissing him, but gently, mouth barely brushing his.
Hitsugi, beginning to realise that this was real and that he wasn’t about to be ambushed by a Candid Camera presenter, finally de-tensed and allowed himself to slide his arms around Sakito tentatively. Sakito relaxed into his embrace, slim legs wrapping around his hips, and tilted his head back happily, allowing Hitsugi to kiss his throat. He drew in his breath sharply as a spike left a dent in his pale skin, and shut his eyes, wriggling downwards until he was lying back comfortably amid the pillows.
Hitsugi, who was somewhat lost in the delights of having Sakito resting so closely against him, jumped at his friend’s movement, which was suddenly causing some rather pressing urges throughout his body. He sat up abruptly and began to crawl backwards down the bed.
“Hey!” exclaimed Sakito, justifiably irritated and breathing a good deal faster than normal. “Where are you going?!”
Hitsugi darted back down momentarily and kissed him firmly, almost giddy at his own daring, then continued his reverse journey over the covers.
He planted himself firmly between Sakito’s knees and anxiously set one hand on his perfectly flat stomach. Sakito gave a satisfied little smirk, covering the hand with his own and sliding it beneath his cotton tank top, pushing the soft fabric up and exposing his willowy torso. Hitsugi gulped as his friend’s dark eyes smiled up into his, then pulled himself together, leaned down and set his lips gently against Sakito’s collarbone, feeling Sakito shiver as he began to kiss his way experimentally across the guitarist’s chest, and hoped he wasn’t going too spectacularly wrong.
Apparently divining what he was thinking by way of some amazing psychic talent, Sakito tugged his head up and fixed him with an amused glare.
“Hitsugi. You’re doing good. Stop worrying.”
Hitsugi nodded and went back to work, hands sliding along Sakito’s tiny waist covetously, mouth tasting the faint salt tang of his pale skin. He was still slightly unsure that this was actually happening, and half expected to be rudely awakened by Yomi any moment with a pillow in the face; but decided to make the most of it while it lasted.
Sakito, eyes closed blissfully at his friend’s unhurried exploration of his body, gasped and tightened his grip on Hitsugi’s hair as what felt like a ball of metal rolled across one nipple, and suddenly remembered Hitsugi’s tongue piercing. Hitsugi, evidently taking this to be a good thing, repeated the action. Sakito took a fraction of a second to wonder how Hitsugi, who was reduced to terrified trembling at the mere mention of a flu jab, could stand to have at least nine bits of metal inserted in his face; then completely lost the thought as the younger man moved downwards and pressed his mouth lovingly against Sakito’s stomach.
“Saki”, Hitsugi murmured, voice muffled slightly by Sakito’s smooth skin, “how long… have you known that I love you?”
The other man smiled breathlessly, only listening vaguely.
“About… a month. You know you can’t hide things from me, Hitsu”. He stroked his hair absently.
“Oh.” Hitsugi reflected that he shouldn’t be surprised. He took Sakito’s navel piercing between his teeth and tugged on it gently. Sakito let out a tiny moan and Hitsugi grinned, the diamond cold and smooth on his tongue.
“You shouldn’t wear this, you know”, he stated as he released it. “It’s not fair to have to sit there and watch you looking so beautiful and know that I can’t have you…”
Sakito leaned up on his elbows, trying to clear his head.
“But you can have me”.
“Don’t split hairs”, Hitsugi whispered, crawling back up Sakito’s body to kiss him again, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as Sakito rolled his eyes and pushed him away playfully, yanking his own tank top off in one smooth movement. Finally seeing a spark in his friend’s eye, Sakito fixed him with his most seductive gaze, hands slipping under his own waistband and slowly, slowly sliding his pyjama trousers down his hips. He watched as Hitsugi turned white, then, apparently deciding that he liked where this was going, tugged Sakito towards him and kissed him fiercely, piercing scraping deliciously against Sakito’s tongue. Sakito wrapped one arm around his neck and clung to him.
Some relatively undignified squirming ensued as Sakito tried to remove his trousers with one hand and his eyes closed, but eventually he managed it and triumphantly flung them across the room. He looked sideways at Hitsugi, and was unsurprised to see him blushing furiously.
“Oh, come on, how old are you?!” he whispered, an irrepressible grin spreading across his features.
Hitsugi fidgeted uncomfortably but didn’t let him go, Sakito noticed.
“You know I can’t help it. I can’t control it!”
Sakito nodded in mock concern, then pulled his friend into a tight hug, pressing their bodies together. He rested his head on Hitsugi’s shoulder, murmuring soothingly into his ear, and slyly slid one hand over his chest and down past his stomach. He couldn’t see Hitsugi’s face, but was fairly sure he was creating the intended reaction when the younger man let out a faint yelp of surprise and stiffened up, in all meanings of the word, thought Sakito, sniggering to himself.
Nibbling thoughtfully on Hitsugi’s ear, Sakito noticed after a while that he seemed to be frozen. He hoped his friend wasn’t too nervous to be enjoying himself.
“Oh Hitsu…” he sang into his ear, and shivered with both relief and pleasure as Hitsugi came back to life and began to kiss the nape of his neck. Sakito sighed at the sensation of metal on his sensitive skin.
“Well you’re not going to get very far with all those clothes on, now are you”, he whispered, embarrassed at the excited tremor in his voice.
At these words, Hitsugi pulled away from him and stared at him very hard, hands cupping his cheeks. Sakito felt himself start to blush slightly under the intensity of the gaze, and dropped his eyes from Hitsugi’s, unable to remember an occasion when anyone had looked at him like that before.
“Sakito”, said Hitsugi seriously, trying to form a coherent sentence and not just throw himself at his friend like some throwback to Prehistoric Man, “do you really mean this? ‘Cause… if you don’t…” He fidgeted nervously, trying to articulate what he meant, “well, that would… really, er, suck.”
Sakito raised his gaze and smiled reassuringly.
“Is that all?” He reached out and stroked Hitsugi’s face fondly. “Honestly, you are such a worry-wart, Hitsu”. Hitsugi opened his mouth to object, but Sakito cut him off.
“I. Love. You. How can I make it any clearer?”
Hitsugi nodded, ducking his head and smiling adorably.
“I get it.”
“Good. Now get on with it.”
Hitsugi raised a drawn-on eyebrow at Sakito’s emphatic tone, but got on with it.
He allowed Sakito to yank off his t-shirt impatiently and push him down on the bed, pressing heated kisses along his shoulder and down his chest. He bit his lip and didn’t object when Sakito’s assured fingers undid his shorts and pulled them off rapidly, not giving him a chance to act embarrassed.
And once they were separated by nothing but skin, Hitsugi felt his inhibitions (such as they were) slip away at the feel of Sakito in his arms, felt that he could never get enough of the taste of Sakito’s skin, the sound of his pleased whimpers. Sakito whispered to him reassuringly, leading him forward into a state of semi-confidence and complete arousal, and when he finally entered Sakito he thought he might just pass out from the overwhelming mixture of pleasure and adoration he felt for the slender man beneath him.
Sakito squeezed his eyes shut and dug his perfectly even nails into Hitsugi’s shoulders, unable to make a sound as they kissed, tantalised by his friend’s gentle movements. Hitsugi’s soft weight pushed him down into the covers, his slim legs curled around Hitsugi’s waist, suddenly unsure how they’d got there, unable to count all the places they touched; utterly unable to think straight, it felt as though his brain had packed up and gone on holiday, and when the other man pulled away from his mouth to kiss his neck, steel stabbing gently into damp skin, he thought he would lose it completely.
“Hitsugi… please…” he managed, arching himself up into the young guitarist’s caress, the sensations almost too much to bear.
Hitsugi peeled Sakito’s hands away from his shoulders, barely noticing the deep red marks they left, and entwined their fingers together.
“Calm down”, he chided breathlessly, words vibrating against Sakito’s skin and causing the beautiful guitarist to let out a low moan of frustration.
“I love you so much”, he confided and, unable to deny Sakito anything as ever, increased the pace slightly and heard him gasp sharply in response.
Sakito wrapped his arms around Hitsugi’s neck and held on, eyes beginning to water with the frustration of not getting what he wanted immediately. As they began to move more intensely he pulled Hitsugi down to meet his mouth again, not letting either of them take a breath until he was dizzy and the dark ceiling was spinning above him, until he felt the climax build up inside him and tugged his friend even closer, kissing him passionately to muffle the sounds, until it was finished. Then he broke away from Hitsugi’s lips, breathing heavily, feeling Hitsugi sink down beside him, shivering.
Pulse slowing, he took the younger man gently in his arms, face buried in his fiery hair. They lay there for a long time, until eventually Sakito felt moisture against his neck. He chuckled tiredly, too sated to move.
“Haven’t you had enough crying for one night, Hitsu?”
He heard a low rumble of laughter from Hitsugi, and held him closer.
“You know I will”. Hitsugi lay against his lover’s warm frame, mind swimming with disbelieving happiness. Sakito kissed him softly, then disentangled himself from the sheets and padded - somehow still elegantly - towards the bathroom. He paused in the doorway, skin faintly luminescent in the dim moonlight, hair mussed and damp. He grinned.
“Better get to sleep, now.”
Hitsugi looked enquiringly at him, and the beautiful smile deepened into one of amusement.
“You know perfectly well you’ll be expected to give a horrifyingly graphic, blow-by-blow account to Ni~ya tomorrow, little pervert that he is. Better make up some suave lies!”
Hitsugi groaned at the thought, then turned over and dropped into blissful sleep.
Sakito watched him from the doorway. He congratulated himself silently. My plans are truly first rate. Then he limped off to leap into a cold cold bath.
Best live ever.