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Chapter Nineteen

Killian picks up his hook and sticks it in the inside pocket of his jacket before he makes his way down to the diner where Emma and Henry are waiting. When she suggested they meet up with the Charming’s and Regina for breakfast to introduce them to Henry, he just shrugged.

“As you wish,” he answered her.

She stared at him for a couple seconds before she continued to get ready. He wants to hold her, he wants to tell her that he still loves her, that just because they have their memories back doesn’t change anything, but she’s so cold and closed off to him, it’s like no matter what he says won’t make a difference.

But he’ll put on a brave face, he’ll keep moving forward, because it’s the right thing to do. He can’t worry about his feelings while the town is under attack.

He walks into the diner to see the group seated at a table in the front with the little babe in a chair on the end. There’s an empty seat in between Henry and Emma and it’s strange but familiar to him. Before they left, he would have just sat in the back of the diner and watched from afar at their happy family breakfast, wishing he could have joined them, now, he knows they are waiting for him and even though the circumstances aren’t ideal at the moment, it brings a sense of happiness to him.

Walking up to the table, a genuine smile comes to his face when Henry brightens at the sight of him.

“There you are! We were wondering what was taking you so long.”

“Sorry, lad. Lost track of time.”

“It’s okay. Mom got you an omelet. This is Mary Margaret, her husband, David, and their son, Leo. Mary Margaret was mom’s cell mate in Phoenix!” Killian’s eyes go wide and he has to bite his lip to keep from laughing. “And this is Regina, she’s the Mayor here! Regina, this is my stepdad, Killian.”

Regina blinks before her eyes snap up to him. He gives her a tight lipped smile and she shakes her head.

“Uh, yes, of course. Killian, it’s nice to see you again.”

“You guys all know each other?” Henry asks in confusion.

Killian reaches up to scratch his ear. “Aye. I spent some time in Storybrooke before moving to New York. Met everyone then.”

“Huh,” Henry starts with an amazed expression. “What a small world.”

Emma sighs before she stands to let him into the seat next to her. He can feel Henry’s eyes on them and he already knows what the lad is waiting for. He holds back his curse and takes a step forward.

“Morning, love,” he mumbles before his lips brush against her temple.

Killian hears her breath catch as he moves to sit down in the empty seat. She mumbles back a reply and sits down next to him. He ignores the sad looks from her parents and busies himself with pouring a cup of coffee.

“Mom got a milkshake for breakfast,” Henry whispers to him.

His eyebrow goes up and he looks over a her. Her cheeks tint but her lips press together.

“You know,” Snow cuts in. “Sometimes it’s nice to have dessert for breakfast. It makes the whole day seem better.”

Snow looks to Regina who speaks up next.

“That’s true. It could change the day.”

He watches as the three women exchange a look and he knows they are hiding something. Killian looks to David who just shrugs while Henry bounces in his seat.

“Does that mean I can have chocolate milk in my cereal?”

Killian chuckles along with Snow and David while Regina and Emma gasp.

“Afraid not, lad. Best if you stick with your pancakes.”

Henry’s shoulders sag but he doesn’t argue. Their food arrives a short time later and Killian keeps quiet while everyone around him talks. He doesn’t really have much to say and isn’t in the mood for fake pleasantries. He just focuses on helping Henry with his breakfast, something that comes natural to him since he’s done it every day for the past year, and he barely notices the three adults watching him as he does it.

“That’s enough syrup, Henry,” he whispers when he tries to drown his breakfast.

Regina asks Henry about his schooling and he gets so excited he knocks his fork on the ground. Killian immediately gives him his own as a replacement and when the waitress walks up, Emma asks for another while she lifts his cup to be refilled. He’s picking the fork up from the ground and telling Henry not to talk with his mouth open when he sees Emma putting a new cup of coffee in front of him.

It almost feels like it did back in New York, the three of them having breakfast together, always aware of each other’s needs, he almost forgets that they are in Storybrooke. It’s out of habit they work like this, so in sync with one another, and he yearns for more of it. Emma even picks off his plate like she always does and when he’s finished, he offers her the rest of his bacon before he leans back and rests his left arm on the back of her chair.

Killian feels Henry tap him on the shoulder and he leans down so he can whisper in his ear.

“Where’s the bathroom?”

He points it out to him while Emma stands. Instead of getting up himself, he picks Henry up from underneath his arms and lifts him over his lap before placing him down on the ground.

“You’re good with him,” Regina mumbles as the boy runs off.

Emma goes stiff as she sits down and Killian just takes a sip of his coffee.

“Is that a bad thing?” David asks.

Regina sighs. “I just never thought I would see the day where Captain Hook is taking care of my son while I have to sit back and watch.”

Killian lets out a huff and sits back. “He’s been my son for the last year, Regina.”

Her face goes hard.

“I made it so you were close, Captain. But I never made it so he was your son.”

He clenches his jaw and cracks his neck. He understands where Regina is coming from, he can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to watch your child be close with another adult he considers a parent while he has no memory of you. But no matter what happens, he’s never going to stop looking at Henry as his son.

“I get that this is hard for you, Regina, I’m sorry for that, really I am. But right now, as far as Henry knows, Hook is his step father, and you’re just Madam Mayor, that’s it.”

He looks over at Emma and gives her a small smile of gratitude.

“I’m well aware of how Henry sees me, Miss Swan.”

David clears his throat and sits forward. “For what it’s worth Regina, I think you are very strong for doing this.”

She lets out a dry chuckle.

“Yeah, why is that?”

“I couldn’t,” he explains. “When Hook got his memories back, I asked him to go himself to give Emma the potion. I couldn’t bear having my daughter look at me like I was a stranger.”

Killian looks up and David gives him an appreciative nod while Snow takes her husband’s hand in her own. Emma gives him a small smile and Regina presses her lips together.

There’s silence for a couple seconds before Henry comes running back to the table.

“Can I go up to our room and get my Gameboy?”

Emma looks over at his plate while Killian goes into his pocket and takes out the keys.

“Aye. But you have to finish your breakfast before you start playing.”

Henry promises that he will before he takes the keys and runs off. He sees Regina sit back in her seat, her face masked in a blank stare, but her eyes filled with sorrow.

“Were you able to make anything of the vial we gave you?”

She shakes her head. “I must have missed an ingredient.”

“Can you try again?” Snow asks as she feeds Leo some dry cereal.

“I’ve already used up what was left of the potion we gave to Emma. There’s nothing left to applicate,” she leans forward and puts her head in her hands. “I can’t live in this town if Henry doesn’t remember me. It’s worse than any curse I ever could have cast.”

“Well then, let’s find the person who cursed the town,” David explains.

Regina snaps up and throws a glare at him.

“Haven’t you been paying attention? I can’t make any more potion!”

Emma sits up. “No, wait. He’s right. I have a better idea. You don’t have to make anything, and we can still catch the person.”


“Well,” she starts. “Killian was right last night. I’m not going to figure out who’s behind this curse by talking to people one by one.”

“What are you going to do?” Killian asks her.

“I’m going to talk to everybody.”

Before anyone can respond, Henry comes running back up. But instead of waiting for his mother, he climbs over the booth behind them and sits in his seat. David and Killian both chuckle while Emma and Regina sigh.

“So what are we doing today?”

They all look at each other when Henry speaks before Emma pushes her empty milk shake glass away.

“Actually, Regina here has offered to give you a tour of the town. How does that sound?”

Regina sits up in surprise as Henry’s brow goes together before he turns to Killian.

“What are you going to be doing?”

“Uh, Dave and I are going to meet up with some old friends see if they know anything that could help with your mother’s case while she finally goes to the doctor.”

“I just thought you might like to be shown around,” Regina says with a small smile. “Maybe we can stop for ice cream when we’re finished.”

Henry’s eyes light up before he express just how much he likes that idea. They finish up their breakfast and stand. Emma is saying goodbye to her father when Henry walks up to him and gives him a hug.

“Have fun, lad. Be good for Regina, aye?”

Henry nods and gives him a smile.

“Can we go down to the docks later if it’s not too late? I want to see some of the boats down there.”

“If it’s not too late.”

Killian rubs his back as he gives him a small smile and kisses the crown of his head. When he looks up he sees Regina staring at them in sorrow. He can tell the Queen wants nothing more than to be able to do the same with the boy, but she can’t.

“I have to get going or we’re going to be late. We’ll all meet back at Mary Margaret and David’s loft later?” Emma says as she walks up to him.

“Aye. We’ll let you know if anything turns up.”

Emma gives a nod before she leans in. His breath catches and she’s only inches away from him when her eyes go wide and she stops. She was about to kiss him goodbye but stopped. Killian’s eyes move to Henry who is staring at them with a smile. He looks back at Emma and makes the decision for her.

He takes a determined step forward and plants his lips on hers. Words can’t describe how it feels to kiss her again, his insides melt with happiness and it takes everything in him to pull away.

“I’ll see you later, love.”

A smile forms on his face when he sees her lips twitch before she nods.

He’s still walking on air as he and the Prince head out of the diner. She was going to kiss him and it wasn’t for their son’s benefit, it was because she wanted too.

“Did you take my advice?” David asks as they climb into his truck.

Shaking his head, his happy thoughts immediately go away at the cold reality that slaps him in the face by the simple question. “You know, mate, you’re worse than a town crier trying to get information.”

David chuckles and shakes his head.

“Or I’m just worried about my daughter’s future.”

Killian sighs and puts his hook in place.

“We haven’t had a chance. Been a little busy…”

“And you’re worried?”

He chuckles dryly. “Of course I’m bloody worried. Not all of us are as optimistic as you and your wife.”

David shrugs as they turn on the back road. “You just have to believe in your love.”

Killian opens his mouth to respond but stops when they he looks up to see a group of men crowded in the middle of the road.

“Bloody hell.”

He and David dart from the truck as the words finish leaving his lips.

“What happened?”

Someone Killian doesn’t know, calls out, “Little John! He was taken, right here!”

The man points to the town line as he moves and Killian takes a step forward.

“I wouldn’t step over that line, mate.”

He looks back at Killian with a glare as David takes a step up, “Robin this is Hook, Hook, meet Robin Hood.”

The two men give each other a nod before Robin points back to the town line.

“You think Little John was carried away because he attempted to cross that line?”

David looks at him before he turns back to Robin.

“Makes sense. The dwarves were out checking the line to see if anyone was coming or going when they disappeared. What exactly took Little John?”

Robin rubs his through his hair and shakes his head. “We didn’t get a good look. Some manner of a beast with wings.”

Killian and David both go stiff.

“What?” Robin takes a step toward them. “Have you heard of this monster?”

“Sounds like the monster that attacked us in New York,” David mumbles.


Killian lets out a sigh. “He changed into what you’re describing, we had to kill him before we got a chance to question him.”

Robin looks like he’s getting more worried with each passing second. “We need to find Little John!”

David nods. “Let’s all do a search, see if we can find any trace of your missing guy.”

Emma sits in her car staring out into the night.

She’s pregnant.

There’s no doubt about it. Whale told her given her symptoms, she’s probably four or five weeks along. He offered to do a sonogram so she could be certain, but she declined. It just didn’t feel… right without Killian.

She hasn’t had much time to think about it since right after her and Regina decided to fake the town out, but now as she sits in her car and waits, she has all the time in the world.

Emma is pregnant with Killian’s baby.

She tries to tell herself that it’s going to be okay, but she just can’t. They aren’t even together anymore, are they? Her fingers reach for the lifeline around her neck, he hasn’t asked for it back, and that makes her feel somewhat better, but it could all be an act. He thinks their engagement is irrelevant and has agreed to pretend. She hates herself for coming up with the idea of pretending, she was just so desperate to keep a part of him for as long as possible that she didn’t know what else to do.

Her hand goes to her stomach. Now she’ll always have a part of him, even after he leaves. Which he no doubt will, they are back in Storybrooke, from what Snow told her earlier his ship is back as well, so is his crew, it’s only a matter of time before he’ll want to get back on the sea. He is a pirate and the Jolly has been his home a lot longer than a year and a half. She knows that matters more than a home with her.

Tears prick her eyes and the interior light in her bug starts to flicker and she forces herself to calm down. She doesn’t know much about her magic, but she has to learn to control it, especially now that her emotions are all over the place.

She wonders how she’s going to tell everyone. She knows that the only people that matter are her family but this is a small town, all it took was a little sentence earlier to Leroy and he told the whole town exactly what her and Regina wanted him to tell them. Once they get wind of her pregnancy it’ll spread like wildfire. Snow had to threaten Whale with the fear of Regina for him to keep his mouth shut.

Thank god he takes the doctor/patient confidentiality thing seriously.

Her thoughts are interrupted when the door to her bug opens and Regina sits down.

“Sorry, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t being followed.”

Emma gives her a small smile before she turns back to office to keep watch.

After a few moments of silence, she finally says, “Regina, I wanted to ask you something.”


“The memory spell you put on us… you say that you didn’t do anything with me and Hook to make us--”

“No. I wiped your memories clean of each other.”

Emma shakes her head and her brow goes together.

“It’s just… some of the things we did, or, said to each other… we said them before. I mean, we didn’t know then, but now that I’m thinking about it, there are things that played out the same way. Why would that happen?”

Regina shrugs. “History has a way of repeating itself. From what you’re saying it sounds like you two were just going down the road you were always meant to go down.”

She blinks at Regina’s answer before she turns back to the office to keep watch. They stay silent for a few moments before Regina sighs.

“Are you going to tell me what happened at the doctors?”

She looks down at her hot cocoa. She wishes it was coffee but now she has to be careful about what she drinks.

“What’s to tell? I’m pregnant. Whale says about four or five weeks.”

Regina nods. “When are you going to tell him?”

Emma stays silent and sips her drink. She knows that she has to tell him, but when she will she has no idea.


She sighs and runs her hand through her hair. “I don’t know. Right now we have more important things to worry about and we need his help.”

Regina turns in the seat and looks at her. “Do you think he’s going to leave when you tell him?”

When Emma stays silent, Regina’s eyes go wide.

“You know who you’re talking about, right? Tall man, dark hair, love for leather and guyliner? The same man that refused to leave your side almost since the moment you two met.” She rolls her eyes but stays silent. “He gave up his life, his memories, to follow you to New York, and now you think because you’re pregnant he’s going to decide ‘well, it’s been fun.’?”

Emma locks her jaw and throws a glare her way. “Don’t judge me, Regina. I’ve been through this before.”

“No. You’ve been through this with Neal before, not Hook. Not every man is going to leave you.”

“He didn’t just leave. He set me up to take the fall for his crime and left me in jail.”

“Then he came back, too.”

She looks at her like she’s crazy. “Only because I was forced to go get him by Gold when I didn’t know it was him. He made it very clear he wasn’t going to come looking for me even though he knew the curse had been broken. If I had never gone, he would have never known about Henry.”

“Well there’s your answer right there. Hook has never left you, you left him. Multiple times and he always came back. I think the question isn’t whether he’s going to leave or not, it doesn’t have anything to do with him, it all has to do with you and what you want.”

Emma looks at her with her brow together.

“Do you want him, Emma?”

Before she can answer, there's movement from inside Regina’s office, “We got them.”

Emma closes the door to their room and leans her forehead against it. Whoever put the curse on the town got through her and Regina’s trap and they still are no closer to finding out who it is.

After their trap was a bust, Emma told Regina she would meet her at her parent’s loft, she wanted to go back to the Inn to hide the paperwork Whale gave her after her appointment before Henry or Killian saw it in her car.

She lets out a sigh and hangs her coat on the back of a chair before she takes the paperwork into their bedroom and lifts the mattress. They are mostly doctor talk, she hardly understands what any of it says, but there is one sentence on there that’s clear to anyone that will read it.

Positive for pregnancy.

The mattress drops back down just as she hears the door open. Her eyes go wide and she scrambles to stand before she rushes out of the bedroom to see Killian walk in.

“Oh,” he stops when he sees her. “I didn’t know you would be here.”

Her eyes move back to the room before she looks at him and shakes her head.

“Yeah, I, uh, I just wanted to put my phone on charge.”

He eyes her for a second and she can tell he knows she’s lying, but he doesn’t call her on it. He just nods and scratches the back of his head.

“Right. Well, I was just going to clean myself up before your father comes back to get me.” It’s then she sees the dirt and mud on his clothes. They stay quiet for a couple moments before he takes a step forward. “How did it go at the doctors?”

Oh, just fine, he just confirmed what I already knew...

She looks away and presses her lips together as she walks past him to the kitchen area. She takes her phone out of her coat pocket to busy herself and avoids his gaze.


When he doesn’t respond she finally chances a look up at him. He’s staring at her so intently, it starts to make her nervous.

“Did he say what was wrong?”

I’m pregnant.

She looks back down at her phone and shrugs. “It’s just a bug. It’ll go away on its own.”

“Swan you’ve been sick for almost a week. I think it’s a little more than a bug.”

I’m pregnant.

Letting out a sigh, she places her phone back on the table, “Well, I don’t know what you want to me to tell you.”

She’s about to go for her jacket when he reaches out to grab her arm. She stares at his hand before her eyes slowly make their way up to his face.

“What aren’t you telling me, Emma?”

I’m pregnant.

Her breath hitches for a quick second before she forces herself to show indifference, pulling her arm back, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His jaw ticks. “So we’re lying to each other now?”

Her muscles twitch but she stays locked into place. She could tell him now, she should tell him now, but they have to get back to her parent’s loft and she’s just not ready yet.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she repeats.

He huffs and runs his hand through his hair. “If there is something wrong with you, I deserve to know.”


She watches as his mouth falls about and he hesitates before he says, “You might be pushing my away, Swan, but what we had in your world wasn’t a lie.”

The tone of his voice kills her but she keeps her face masked, even if all she wants to do is fall into his arms. He’s standing right in front of her but he might as well be in a different state. She misses him, misses them, he always knew how to make her feel better, but he can’t anymore.

Tears prick her eyes and she averts them in hopes that he won’t see.

“What did you think was going to happen, Hook? That we could just come back here and everything would be the same? I’m the Savior and you’re a pirate! New York doesn’t change that, it’s not that easy.”

His jaw clenches and she can tell she’s made him angry. If she pushes him hard enough, he’ll let the anger wash over him and he’ll never have to know how much not being with him kills her. But that’s good, because anger is always better than hurt.

At least she hopes…

“Aye,” he hisses through gritted teeth. “Just a pirate. That you cared for. That you wanted to spend your life with.”

Her face stays blank while her insides crumble. She hates this, hates all of it. Can’t he see that she’s lying? She doesn’t think of him as a pirate, she hasn’t in a long while. She loves him, he’s everything to her, but if he knows that now, he’s sure to break her.

“A life that wasn’t real,” she doesn’t even recognize her own voice and she absolutely loathes herself.

“Wasn’t… re…” he stutters as he blinks slowly. “Wasn’t real? That’s what this is about?”

Her brows pinch together. What else would it be about? Since the second she’s got her memories back, he’s been doing nothing but giving her signals that it wasn’t real, so why is he questioning it?

Before she can answer, he steps forward, anger radiating off of his entire body.

“You truly believe what I felt for you wasn’t real?” His eyes move back and forth. “Swan, how I felt, how I still feel for you, is the most real thing I know.”

Her heart starts hammering in her chest at his closeness and no matter how much she tries to deny it, her body is reacting to him.

She doesn’t want to have this conversation now, she can’t handle him rejecting her once she tells him the truth, but she knows him… knew him. He would never back down, never let her walk out. So she goes for the one thing that she knows he won’t reject.

Inhaling deeply, she takes her own step forward, invading his space, the tips of her boots brushing against his own.

“How you feel about me? Don’t mistake love for lust, Hook.” Her eyes move to his down to his lips before her voice drops. “What we had, was flickering remnants of tension from a life we didn’t remember.”

His lips draw into a thin line as she speaks. Honestly, she has no idea why she’s doing this. She set out to make him angry and now all she can think about is kissing him.

She hasn’t kissed him in so long, those brief moments earlier in the day when he kissed her goodbye in front of their son not counting. It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough.

“Just lust,” he growls, leaning forward to stop an inch from her lips and letting his breath fall hot on them, “that’s all you felt every time I praised your body, worshipped every part of your flesh?” He shifts his mouth to her ear, his voice lowering to a whisper. “Well, you’re wrong.”

A stuttering breath escapes her and her eyes close at the feel of his lips on the shell of her ear. Flashes of all their times together playing in her mind, making her choke out a whimper when his warm breath hits her skin.

Her nipples go hard and her core heats up. He’s trying to seduce her into telling him the truth, something he’s done plenty of times back in New York.

One feel of his lips and she would spill all her dirty secrets to him.

Determined to get the upper hand of the situation, she moves her face closer to his again.

Mad, he needs to be mad, I can’t handle anything else, it’s too much.

“Get a grip,” she hisses, the tip of her nose ghosting across his. “Like your gods gift.”

His eyes blaze with anger as he fixes his gaze on her. The last time she saw him this angry was when she left him on that beanstalk, chained and abandoned.

Just like he’ll do to you once he finds out you're pregnant.

His lips curl into a sneer. “You forget yourself, love,” he pushes his chin forward, just brushing her lips with his while he continues. “I still remember every moan and whimper I drew from your beautiful mouth. I still remember you crying out my name, begging me for more.”

His hook rises to her waist, his hips shifting forward to meet hers making her stumble back, but the table keeps her from moving very far. He lowers his head to brush his mouth against her jaw and her entire body starts to shake with want as his voice sends jolts down her body.

Harder, Killian,” he mimics in a vague facsimile of her voice. “Come inside me, oh God, please.” He lets his stubble scratch her cheek as he smiles. “Don’t you recall, my darling?”

Of course she remembers, each time is burned into her memory, she couldn’t forget if she tried.

But he’s not that person anymore, he’s a pirate, he’s always been a pirate. New York, their engagement, her pregnancy… nothing will change that. No matter how much she wants it to.

Swallowing, her eyes move back and forth between his own before she stands up fully, her bottom lip brushing against his own, “You’re so full of yourself, aren’t you? The way I remember it is you begging me.

She lifts her shaking hand to walk her fingers up his chest, her eyes moving down to the sliver of his chest that’s peeking out.

More, Emma,” she groans in a deep voice. “Bloody hell, you’re squeezing me so tight.”

Looking back up at him, her face hardens and she spits out, “What kind of pirate does that?”

That’s right, Emma, keep reminding yourself it’s what he is, maybe it’ll hurt less…

Her heart hammers in her chest as he asks, “What more do you want from me, Swan?”

What more does she want? She wants him and the life they promised to have together. She wants to tell him about the baby and not have him leave…

Opening her mouth, she’s a second from spilling everything out to him because of the sound of his voice…


But she can’t, he’ll break her the second he knows the truth, she’s sure of it.

She searches his eyes from some kind of sign that things aren’t different, but she knows it’s a useless effort. Needing to feel something other than the ache in her chest, she does the only thing she can think of.

Pushing herself the last inch forward, her lips fuse to his while her hands grip at his waist. The kiss is angry and harsh because that’s what she deserves, it’s what she craves.

He hesitates for a second, and another wave of fear washes over her.

He’s going to reject me.

But then he kisses her back and it’s almost as if he wants it just as much as she does, like he misses her as much as she misses him.

So she pours all her feelings into the kiss and everything she wants to say to him.

I love you.

I miss you.

I want you.

I’m pregnant.

Please don’t leave.

She pulls back to take a breath and he murmurs against her skin, “Why are y-“ but she presses her mouth back to him before he can finish. Whatever he wants to say, she can’t hear it, because she knows no matter what it is, she’ll believe him, she’s too weak not too. She’ll believe him and then he’ll leave. There’s no doubt in her mind, once he finds out she’s pregnant, he’s going to leave.

It’s the story of her life.

He’s not the Killian that lived in New York anymore, she isn’t enough to keep him. He’s Captain Hook, and the Jolly Roger is his home.

His lips relax as he slips his tongue against hers in a fight for dominance making her whimper softly. She’s overwhelmed with such feelings that it makes her pause, it’s all too much, too soft. When he pulls back, he looks down at her with his brow pinched together, but before he can open his mouth to attempt to speak again, her hands make their way up his chest, gripping the open part of his shirt and ripping it open, along with his waistcoat.

Buttons fly across the room while her fingers scratch down his chest, the fine hair tickling her, as she grips the charms on his necklace and pulls, forcing him to take another step closer.

His hips bump into her and she feels the all too familiar bulge press against her.

With her hands shaking, she fumbles with his belt buckle, making it known exactly what she wants.

“Swan,” he growls in a warning tone, lightly touching her hips with his hand and hook and pushing his nose into her neck. “Tell me what you need,” he says against her skin with a sigh. “Say it.”

Her chin starts to quiver and she squeezes her eyes shut to keep her tears at bay.

I need you, I need you to stay with me, I need you to not leave, I need you to still love me.

But she knows it’s different and she’ll just end up alone in the end.

She always ends up alone.

Taking a deep breath, she pulls back. He may not be able to give her what she really needs, but it doesn’t mean he can’t give her something else, something that will make the constant feeling of dread and fear wash away even if it’s just for a little while.

Pressing her lips together, she forces her face to turn to stone again as she unbuckles his belt.

“I want you to fuck me, Hook.”

A low hiss escapes the back of his throat as she tugs at his clothes, purposely pulling the fabric of his pants against his hardness. His grip on her hips lightens and he pushes her back against the table to dislodge her hands from his waistband.

“Then you will behave, love,” he growls, lip curling into a snarl as he pins her back.

Her hands land on the table behind her, his hook and hand around her wrists while she pants. She’s never seen that look in his eyes before, or his voice drip with such dominance.

They’ve had rough sex, she’s actually a big fan of the way he speaks during sex, it’s not something that’s new, but this- before it was roughness usually brought on by too much rum and teasing- this is different.

The person in front of her isn’t Killian and fuck if doesn’t instantly make her wet, because right now she can’t handle more memories of their past. She needs hard, she needs fast.

She doesn’t want Killian… she wants Hook.

With her chest heaving, her lips tug into a disobedient grin before she pushes her face to his and breathes into his mouth, “Make me.”

He lets out a sexy growl before he puts his hand and hook on her waist. Her breath catches when he twists her around and forces her to bend over the table.

She cries out in pleasure when he bites the curve of her neck as he yanks her jeans down her legs.

“You want the pirate, Emma, I’ll give you the pirate.”

The cold metal of his hook on her skin makes her shiver before sound of ripping echoes throughout the room. Wetness leaks out of her as she realizes he’s used his hook to tear her panties away and when he finally pushes himself into her, she screams out.

“That’s it, love. Let me hear you.”.

His hips rock into her from behind and her nails dig into the table. He licks and nips at the back of her neck while his right hand tightens on her hip. Their moans are loud and the table scrapes against the floor, but she doesn’t care, he’s taking her just the way she wants and it’s making her see heaven.

“So wet, so tight,” he grunts. “Is this what you wanted, Emma?”

“Yes!” she cries out.

Her head slams back against his shoulder and her eyes watch as his hook scratches into the wood. The edge of the table digs into the front of her thighs and she’s standing on her toes, but the pleasure he’s giving her makes it unnoticeable.

She pushes herself up more and he groans at the new angle. His hand leaves her hip to move her hair over her shoulder before he reaches into her bra cup and palms her breast.

“God, Killian, harder!”

He grunts and slams into her harder than he ever has before and she comes undone. Her eyes squeeze shut as her cries fill the room while he sucks on her neck, neither one of them paying any attention to the bulb that shatters across the room. She feels dizzy and lightheaded, it’s one of the best orgasms she’s ever had and she can do nothing but reach up to grip his wrist and pant loudly.

His lips move up to her ear and she shivers when she feels him lick her lobe before he whispers, “I’m not even close to being done.”

Her eyes pop open when he wraps his hooked arm around her and pulls out. He reaches up with his hand and forces her to turn her head until he devours her mouth with his own while he moves them to their bedroom, she moans when he bites her bottom lip. Before she can even catch her breath, he’s flipping her over, pushing her down onto the bed and plunging back into her.

“Fuck!” she hollers out.

“Such foul language for a princess,” he groans into her ear.

Their skin slaps together and her back arches up off of the bed. Her body is still feeling the aftershocks of her first orgasm and her face feels numb as her nails rake down his chest, but it only makes him growl and pump even harder.

“This is getting you off isn’t it, Emma?” he pants into her ear. “Getting fucked by a pirate?” She moans and her thighs tighten around his waist. “Your quim has never been so wet, gods, you’re burning me alive.”

His words are making her dizzy and she can feel herself climbing close to the edge again. He suddenly lifts up and throws her leg over his shoulder. She tries to reach out to him but he snags her wrists in his hook and pins them up above her head while her eyes slam shut and she moans loudly.

“You’re going to come for me again, aren’t you? That’s a good girl.”

Her hands move slightly until she can wrap her fingers around his hook while he pushes himself even deeper into her. Her thigh is pressed against her chest and he leans down to lick her lips.

“My name. I want to hear it,” he demands.

She whimpers and lets out an ‘oompf’ when he thrusts back into her. He’s torturing her and he knows it, bringing her right to the edge but stopping before she can fall over. He grinds his hips against hers quickly before he pulls out and slams back in.

“Say it.”

Her left hand stays wrapped around his hook while her right one wiggles free and shoots out to grab the back of his head. He groans as she pulls him down and forces his lips onto hers.

“Oh my… Hook!”

A snarled growl escapes him as his hips move at lightning speed and she screams out her second orgasm. Her entire body shakes, or maybe it’s the bed, she’s not sure, and her mind goes blank. He gives one final pump before he groans out his own release and collapses on top of her.

Their skin is covered in a layer of sweat and she can feel her thighs shaking. He’s still twitching inside of her while his face is buried in her neck. She doesn’t know how long they stay like that before he finally pushes himself up. Her fingers unwrap from around his hook and they actually cramp from how hard she was holding it. They both hiss when he pulls out and flops down onto the bed next to her.

They lay there, chests heaving, staring at the ceiling in silence and she has to bite her lip to keep from sobbing. The weight of what they just did slams down on her like a tidal wave, because no matter how much she wants it too, it doesn’t change a thing, it only makes it worse.