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give me a taste (of what it's like to be next to you)

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The first thing Bellamy had been planning on when he got home was to crash in his nice, warm bed and not leave for the next 36 hours. Being a TA was great for his resume and definitely gave him good experience for his own future in teaching but he was exhausted from having to hold extended office hours for finals next week while also struggling to finish the final draft of his own thesis for the semester so his advisor could review it before departing for the summer. He noticed the lights were off in Octavia’s room meaning she was likely spending the night at Lincoln’s; while the thought would normally sour his mood, he was too exhausted to pay it much attention.

Which is why he was very surprised when he hit something that was not his mattress when he flopped down on his bed. Scrambling back up, he reached for the light switch on the nearby wall and was face to face with what he assumed was one of Octavia’s friends.

“Ow,” the intruder said, rubbing their head and pouting before pulling the blankets back up over their head.

Noticing a few messy tendrils of blonde hair strewn across the pillow that didn’t make it under the covers with her, Bellamy sighed and crossed his arms across his chest. “Clarke,” he said, mostly to himself as he toed off his shoes and started rustling through the discarded clothes on his floor to find something to change into.

“Bell-my,” she responded, tongue stumbling over his name.

“Any reason you’re in my bed?” he asked, aiming for nonchalant and not annoyed. When he received no response, he assumed she’d just fallen back asleep and let out another short breath before changing quickly.

Just as he was about to switch the light back off and crash on the couch, he heard a sniffle from beneath the covers. Immediately, his annoyance was replaced with worry; in the five or so years in which he’d known his little sister’s best friend, he’d seen her cry approximately once and it was only because she’d been laughing so hard. He made his way over to the body now curled up in a ball and sat on the edge of the bed next to her, placing a gentle hand on what he hoped was her shoulder. “Clarke, what’s wrong?”

She sniffled again but refused to come out from under the covers. “‘m fine, Bell-my,” she said, the ball moving slightly to (he assumed) wipe her tears. “D’you want me t’leave?”

Gingerly, he pulled the covers back, unsure of what would await him. He was aware of the discarded dress in a puddle on his floor but he’d never heard her sound quite so small and knew he needed to check on her. Her normally curly hair was in a hasty braid and she appeared to be wearing an old shirt of his; however, her normally bright eyes were glossy with tears and he couldn’t bring himself to care. “What happened?”

She closed her eyes and tried to curl in on herself again, only resulting in her curling around him. “Finn had another girlfriend,” she whispered.

Bellamy felt his anger spike; he’d met the kid a couple times during the biweekly game nights the group held and he always seemed to be distracted by something, making a half-assed effort at befriending the people she’d come to care for as family while always trying to get her to do something else with just him instead. They’d been dating for around four months at this point and Clarke had started bailing pretty regularly on her friends to hang out with him, still in the honeymoon phase. He was the first serious relationship after her disastrous end with Lexa just over two years ago and while Bellamy had tried to be happy for her, Octavia would just roll her eyes and make a flippant comment about Clarke’s new beau before changing the conversation.

Clarke had been slurring through an explanation while Bellamy had been distracted by thoughts of punching the boy in the face before he realized why she wasn’t curled up with Octavia like she would normally be. “So Raven grabbed me and ‘tavia and we just did a million shots of ‘quila and so she said I could sleep here since we thought you would be out late with Roma or something.”

“It’s okay, I can just crash on the couch,” Bellamy told her, starting to stand up so he could make his way out, the anger that had been thrumming through his veins starting to fade and leaving him tired again.

Clarke grabbed his hand and used it to pull herself up, pulling too hard and having to hold herself against his shoulder so the world could stop spinning. “No, stay,” she asked, mouthing the words against his shoulder.

The corners of his mouth quirked up slightly, secretly grateful he might not have to sleep on the lumpy couch. “You sure?”

Instead of speaking, Clarke just threw herself back on the bed, scooting over as best as she could and using the hold she still had on his wrist to pull him back with her. Laughing quietly, he got up to turn off the light and slipped in beside her, leaving a few inches of space between them.

Clarke had no such hesitations, rolling over and tucking herself into his side. “Bell’my,” she whispered, small. “What if no one e’er loves me and stays?”

He adjusted himself and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her more firmly against him. “You’ve got a lot of people who love you,” he reminded her, just as quiet as she’d been.

“But what if no one stays?” she repeated, moving her head so her chin was resting on his shoulder. 

He smiled and placed a quick kiss on her forehead. “Just try and get rid of us,” he told her, pulling the covers up around them and wrapping his other arm around her, using the sound of her slowing breaths to help him fall asleep.