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Hercules was confused. In all honesty, he rarely wasn’t. But today, he wanted to change that. As he half-heartedly watched a movie with Lafayette curled in his arm, and John and Alex in a similar position on the other side of the room, he turned to his smaller friend.

“Alex…” Herc said hesitantly.

“Hello.” Alex turned to face him.

“How does, you know, like…”


“All that shit… work?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mon ami, I believe what our dearest Hercules is attempting to ask is ‘What the fuck is a vagina?’” Lafayette chimed in.

“Oh,” Alex giggled.

“Like why does it bleed all the time? Where does it come from?”

“Well firstly, it’s not all the time, that’s the point. Basically, your body gets all ready to have a baby, so fills your uterus with blood and stuff to look after the baby. But then you don’t get pregnant, and your uterus gets sad, and throws out all that shit in violent explosions over several days to a week. Then it all starts again.”

“That’s so weird.”

“I know, you should try it.”

“So, it’s like constant?”


“Non-stop for like a week?”


“How do you get anything done?”

“Honestly, I’m not quite sure.”

“How does it not get all over your towels?”

“It does.”

“Jesus Christ. Does it hurt?”

“It feels like you’re being stabbed repeatedly in the stomach.” Alex sighed.

If anything, as Alex explained Hercules felt as if he knew less than when he started. Soon, the four of them found themselves sitting on the floor, with Alex and John drawing diagrams.

 “Okay, so there are three holes…” John started.

“Wait, three? What the fuck? Where?”

John patiently showed Hercules on his diagram while the other two laughed.

“Shut up, how am I meant to know?”

“One at the back, which you’re already acquainted with.” Herc’s laugh was a little too proud in response to this.

“Hmm, he really is.” Lafayette added, receiving a mix of laughs and groans.

“One for pee, and one for everything else.”

“Mon Dieu, I never knew that.” Lafayette admitted.

“Honestly, nor did I before Alex.”

After almost an hour more of discussions, Herc got up and headed to the kitchen, Alex following him.

“Thank you, Hercules.” Alex said.

Herc turned around. “What for?” He asked, face quizzical.

“For understanding, well, trying to.” He giggled. “For knowing that I’m different and not making me an outcast because of it. I always feel safe with you guys. I don’t really anywhere else.” Alexander looked small, shy even.

Hercules wrapped him in a tight hug. “Alex, we love you and we just want you to be happy. I’m always here for you, even if I have no clue how to help, I’ll always try.”

“Thanks Herc. Love you.”

“Anytime. Love you too."