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Hard Times

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Sam was grouchy and rude for a whole week before John decided to knock it out of the seventeen year old. He took Sam out to a deserted forest to train in hand to hand combat. He kept putting Sam on his ass and making the boy more and more frustrated.

“Come on Sam! You cannot keep failing like this!” John barked crossly.

Sam rounded on his with a hard punch straight to the face. “I’m not doing it on purpose! I’m sorry I can’t fight, or hunt, or obey orders or keep a freaking-! Urrg!!!!” Sam shouted angrily at his father, obviously frustrated and thinking about something else.

John slowly approached Sam and clapped him lightly on the shoulder. “You’re gonna sit on that log and we’re gonna talk.”

Sam nodded shortly and did as told, John sitting beside him.

“What’s going on Sam?”

Sam shrugged and scowled a his shoes. “Nothing you care about.”

“When it affects your attitude this bad, it does concern me. What’s up?”

Sam sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest. “You’ll laugh.”

“No I won’t...try me kiddo.” John said gently.

Sam took a deep breath and started explaining. “Remember my date on Saturday?”

John nodded to show he did and Sam continued.

“Well we….don’t tell Dean….but we kinda tried to have sex in the backseat of the impala, since he’d lent it to me for the night and all.” Sam shifted awkwardly.

John was staring at Sam like he’d grown an extra head, his baby wasn’t supposed to be doing things like that; Dean was the only one allowed to do that stuff. John couldn’t help but wonder how long his baby had been giving it up to girls. He never had to talk to Dean about girls really, the boy had a knack for them and all the older hunter had to do was warn him to keep his sexual exploits away from Sam.

“How- how many times have you been with a girl?” John asked slowly, hoping his nerves weren’t showing in his voice.

Sam gave him a look. “That’s the problem, the keyword in my explanation was ‘tried’ dad.”

John sighed in relief. “Oh good-!” He saw Sam’s annoyed face and pulled back on himself a bit. “I-uh….what happened?”

Sam picked up a stone and threw it at a nearby tree. “I couldn’t do it.”

“You realised you’re not ready?” John asked uncertainly.

“No dad I couldn’t-....” Sam looked away and mumbled the rest. “I couldn’t stay hard.”

John wasn’t sure he’d heard right but one look at Sam’s unhappy face was all he needed to confirm. His son was having performance issues, and was talking to him about it.

“Oh Sam...that’s nothing to worry about, everyone has trouble performing every once in a while. I’m sure next time you’ll get it right.”

Sam snorted in disbelief. “Yea that’s what Sophia said the first five times we tried. Do you know what she thinks?”

John shook his head slowly.

“She thinks I’m not attracted to her, she thinks I’m gay.” Sam sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not true though! I’ve been with Sophia for weeks dad, I want to do this with her. I just-I get so nervous that I’m gonna screw it up….and then that first time I kept thinking she deserves someone like Dean, who’s perfect and handsome and good in bed. Now I can’ stop thinking about that. Everytime I get hard something happens and it just…..”

John smiled at Sam and put an arm around his shoulders, hugging his son close to comfort him.

“Sam I get how it feels to be nervous with a woman, I know you like this girl. What I don’t get is how you don’t see how perfect you are. You’re every bit as handsome as Dean, so what if you have no experience? Experimenting with each other is half the fun Sammy. Sex is about messing up, that’s why it’s called messing around.” John pressed a kiss to his sons temple. “What’s the worst that could happen if you have sex with her? In my opinion the worst is if her cunt clamps down on you, that’ll be the most exciting ER trip of your life; believe me.”

Sam snorted a laugh of disbelief and amusement while he peered curiously up at John. “You had a girl’s special place latch onto you?”

John nodded. “Yea, I was off sex for a long time after that. My point is, you can’t do any worse than other guys, the fact that you’re even trying to have sex with her puts you one step ahead.”

Sam sighed and nodded sadly. “I just want to be able to do it you know? Without panicking and stuff. I’m seventeen and I’ve never…..”

“I know...” John said gently, he took a moment to think before continuing. “You know, I was older than you my first time?”

Sam looked at him in surprise. “You were? You’re always with women though? Why’d you take so long?”

“I was waiting for your momma to be ready.” John smiled at the look of amazement in Sam’s eyes. “She wanted to wait until we were married, so we did.”

“So you didn’t have sex until your wedding night with mom?” Sam asked curiously.

“Oh no, it was a fair way into our marriage before we had sex. I was nervous too.”

Sam gave him a disbelieving look and the older hunter laughed at his son softly.

“Yea I got nervous, so sue me, everyone gets nervous Sam. Your momma was patient, she was nervous too, we loved each other so much that it didn’t matter.”

Sam sighed softly and leaned against his father. “I wish I could have that with someone.”

“You don’t think you have it with Sophia?” John asked lightly.

Sam shrugged. “I guess.”

John waited but Sam didn’t elaborate and John took the opportunity to suggest something he knew Sam may not like.

“You have no reason to be nervous Sam, if she cares about you she’ll understand that you’re nervous and she’ll get you through. If she doesn’t understand that then...maybe you shouldn’t be having sex with her in the first place.”

Sam nodded slowly and tentatively put his arms around his father’s middle. “Thanks dad.”

It was said so quietly that John almost missed it. Almost. He smiled and wrapped both arms around Sam’s shoulders, he pressed a kiss to Sam’s hair.

“You’re welcome kiddo.”

They drew back to look at each other.

“So you gonna go try it one more time?” John asked Sam with a smile.

Sam shook his head. “No, I’m leaving Sophia, not like we’re gonna be around here for long anyway; I’d rather not have a deep attachment to her.”

“You sure?” John asked seriously. “I meant it when I said you have nothing to worry about Sam.”

Sam grinned slyly at him. “Except for her lady parts holding onto my prick.”

John gave Sam a mock stern look. “Don’t sass me Sam Winchester.”

Sam grinned and stood up, nudging John roughly as he did. “Come on old man, you brought me out here to beat respect into me; you gonna let me sass you?”

John grinned and took up the challenge, glad that his son was calmer and they’d sorted out a problem; hopefully his remedy would be permanent.