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The Odd Couple...s

Chapter Text

Siobhan looked out of the kitchen window to where the soft light of evening was giving way to dusk. A lone figure sat on the lounger by the hot-tub, watching the sun go down. Siobhan sighed. Then, the silent tableau was spoiled by growing sounds of passion coming from the direction of Roxie’s room. Siobhan rolled her eyes and made a decision. She walked to the fridge and took out two beers before heading out to the backyard.

She approached the lounger silently. Not actually knowing what she was going to say when she got there.

“Hey.”

Andrea looked up, startled by Siobhan’s presence.

“Hey,” she replied, a little hesitantly.

Siobhan held out a bottle of beer to Andrea, which she eyed suspiciously. Siobhan rolled her eyes.

“I come in peace. Take the damn beer and move over.”

Andrea took the bottle and made room for Siobhan to sit down next to her on the sun-lounger. They twisted the caps off and tipped the bottles back, both taking a longer drink than strictly necessary so as to avoid having to speak to each other for a little longer.

“So…” Siobhan began.

“So…” Andrea echoed.

They fell into awkward silence again. Andrea started to pick at the label on her beer bottle. Siobhan watched her for a few moments.

“OK, so... I came out here to say that I’m…I don’t know if sorry is the right word? I mean, I sympathise with you over what’s happened here.”

Andrea’s concentration remained on the bottle of beer.

“Doesn’t that violate the ‘best-friend code’ or something?” she asked, casually.

“Probably, but Roxie’s ethics aren’t exactly unblemished these days, are they?”

Andrea smiled sadly and Siobhan, involuntarily, reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. They both froze at the unfamiliar contact. Siobhan, unsure of how to undo the action, made do with squeezing Andrea’s shoulder briefly before letting go. They both stared straight ahead.

“I’ve got most of my stuff packed up. I’ll be gone tomorrow.” Andrea said.

“Andrea, you don’t have to go…you’re not in the wrong here.”

“You gonna throw Roxie out in the street and keep me, huh?” Andrea asked, turning an amused smile on Siobhan.

“Well…no…but we can work something out. You shouldn’t have to be homeless after dealing with…what happened.”

“Let’s just get it out in the open, Siobhan. I walked in on my girlfriend getting head from another woman.”

Siobhan winced at the thought. Andrea wasn’t done.

”Not only another woman, no, the fucking ex-girlfriend who she so kindly took into our home. We put a roof over her head, gave her food and warmth…and how does she repay me?”

Siobhan refrained from saying that, in the strictest terms, it was not Andrea’s roof, food or warmth to give away in the first place.

“She fucks my girlfriend behind my back!” Andrea shouted, spilling a little of her beer as she gestured towards the house with the bottle. “I knew we should never have given her a drawer…it was just getting way too cozy.”

“It must have been upsetting to see them…” Siobhan couldn’t quite finish her sentence.

“Damn right it was upsetting! How would you like to walk into your bedroom and the first thing you see is Geri’s ass? Which is bad enough, but then you realise that the reason you’re not seeing her face is because it’s between your girlfriend’s thighs.”

Siobhan tipped back her head and drank the remainder of her beer, trying to drink away the mental picture of Geri’s naked ass. Andrea raised an eyebrow at the empty bottle.

“You want another?”

*

Siobhan stretched to place her empty beer bottle on the side of the hot-tub, in doing so, she knocked down several others already sitting there, resulting in a symphony of breaking glass.

“Shit.”

“I think that was a strike,” Andrea commented from the far corner of the tub.

Siobhan settled back down, pulling her shoulders under the water to escape the slight chill of the air. She shivered.

“You wanna go inside? I’m prunified,” Siobhan said, lifting a foot out of the water and wiggling her toes.

Andrea caught hold of the foot and tickled it lightly. Siobhan shrieked and tried to pull free of her grasp but Andrea held on.

“No, Andrea, no, please, I’m really ticklish, no!”

Andrea just grinned and held on tighter, her hand sliding up Siobhan’s leg and ticking behind her knee. Siobhan jerked her leg in an attempt to free herself. However, Andrea, clumsy from too much beer, wasn’t ready for the action and fell forward. She managed to get her hands on either side of Siobhan’s hips, but her body was pressed against the other woman’s in some very suggestive places.

Siobhan looked into Andrea’s eyes, dark and dangerous in the pool lights. She dropped her gaze to Andrea’s lips, which she knew from personal experience to be impossibly soft. And without further thought on the matter, Siobhan leaned forward and kissed Andrea.

Andrea responded, gently applying pressure, dragging her bottom lip over Siobhan’s. Siobhan ran her hands up Andrea’s back, unhooking her bikini top and letting the weight of the water take it off for her. She moved her hands around to cup Andrea’s full breasts. Andrea pulled away from the kiss, her palms firmly on Siobhan’s hips, she reversed their positions so that she was seated with Siobhan straddling her.

Siobhan used the change of position to start kissing her way down Andrea’s neck, her hands still teasing her nipples. Andrea laid her head back against the side of the hot-tub, giving Siobhan plenty of access.

“I knew you two crazy kids would get together sooner or later!”

Both Siobhan and Andrea turned to the source of the unwelcome observation. Geri was hovering by the hot tub, grinning widely.

Siobhan shook her head in disgust and leaned back in to capture Andrea’s lips in another kiss.

“OK, I can see you guys want to be left alone. That’s cool,” Geri said, carefully stepping over broken glass on her way back to the house.

Andrea thoroughly ignored her, sliding her hand down Siobhan’s abdomen and roughly pushing aside her bikini bottoms, earning a delighted gasp from Siobhan.

“I just wanna throw something out there, ya know…let you guys mull it over,” Geri continued.

Andrea caught Siobhan’s lip between her teeth and tugged lightly, her hand moving in a slow, torturous motion under the water.

“OK, I’m just gonna say it…Foursome.”

Andrea took her free hand and extended the middle finger in Geri’s direction.

“Give it some thought, get back to me,” Geri said, opening the back door.

She was answered in unison.

“Fuck off, Geri!”

Chapter Text

Siobhan: I suppose it was bound to happen at some point. I live in a house full of lesbians. I’m constantly bombarded with lesbian culture…

Andrea: Look, I was vulnerable. And kinda drunk. And let’s face it, she’s easy on the eyes.

Siobhan: I mean, if I have to watch one more fucking episode of Xena…

Roxie: I’m really glad that Andrea is helping Siobhan get in touch with her inner vagina. I’ve heard words coming through that wall that I don’t even understand. I’m really happy for them and their healthy, fulfilling and…regular sex life. Really, it’s great. [Fake smile, gradually fading to a sad smile]

Andrea: The sex is pretty great, considering she’s a newbie.

Siobhan: The sex? [giggles and looks down, embarrassed] I can’t talk about the sex. [looks around and moves forward, towards the camera] But I will say this…I have learned exactly what all this ‘Gold Star’ stuff is about. And it’s nothing to do with store loyalty cards. [sits back and fans herself] Wow.

Geri: They have sex a lot. In Siobhan’s bedroom. In the bathroom. Siobhan’s car. The hot-tub. The kitchen. The kitchen is the one place I object to. I don’t want their bodily fluids messing with my meat. That’s just not hygienic. Makes it taste funny too. But mostly I’m happy for them. Cuz I’ve got my Roxie back and that’s all I can ask for. 

Roxie: Being back with Geri…hmmmmm. [thinks for a very long time] It’s uh…not that different to the first time we were together. Probably less sex.

Geri: We do it about once a month. Unless it’s her birthday month…then we don’t do it at all.

Roxie: Do I miss being with Andrea?

Geri: I don’t think she misses being with Andrea at all.

Roxie: Yeah. Yeah I do. Especially when I hear Siobhan’s voice get all high and squeaky right before she kind of makes this really deep, guttural moaning sound. I have a pretty good idea of what ‘Drea is doing to her. And I miss her doing that to me. [looks wistfully into the distance]

Siobhan: We haven’t actually…talked…all that much. Mostly because of all the sex we’ve been having.

Andrea: I’m kinda surprised that Siobhan doesn’t really seem to be one of those chicks who has to over-analyse everything and talk about her feelings every five minutes. So that’s cool.

Siobhan: But I’m sure that eventually we’ll get around to talking and doing stuff other than…sex.

Roxie: I like that I can talk to Geri. You know, really talk. She's a great listener.

Geri: Yeah, we have these deep, meaningful talks about...life and shit. I don't really understand most of 'em, but I nod and smile. And picture Roxie naked.

Andrea: [looks around to make sure no-one is listening] I’m gonna say this once and it better not get back to anyone. I…actually kinda like her.

Siobhan: She’s…not as bad as I first thought she was. She’s actually pretty great. In fact…I think I might go see what she's doing now... [gets up and walks off-camera]

Geri: [nods and smiles...then gets a faraway look on her face]

Roxie: [looks at camera and sighs deeply]

Andrea: [gives camera a meaningful look before picking up her coffee and taking a drink. Her attention is drawn to someone approaching from the right. 

Siobhan: [off-camera] Morning darling. [walks into frame]

Andrea: Morning

[Siobhan leans down and kisses Andrea softly on the lips. They smile at each other.

Siobhan: Morning [Straddles Andrea’s lap]

Andrea: Morning.

[They continue to kiss, heatedly, Andrea runs her hands over Siobhan’s torso while Siobhan tangles her hands in Andrea’s hair. Siobhan turns to face the camera as Andrea smiles against her neck. Siobhan winks and then gets back to some serious kissing]

FADE