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The Odd Couple...s

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Siobhan: I suppose it was bound to happen at some point. I live in a house full of lesbians. I’m constantly bombarded with lesbian culture…

Andrea: Look, I was vulnerable. And kinda drunk. And let’s face it, she’s easy on the eyes.

Siobhan: I mean, if I have to watch one more fucking episode of Xena…

Roxie: I’m really glad that Andrea is helping Siobhan get in touch with her inner vagina. I’ve heard words coming through that wall that I don’t even understand. I’m really happy for them and their healthy, fulfilling and…regular sex life. Really, it’s great. [Fake smile, gradually fading to a sad smile]

Andrea: The sex is pretty great, considering she’s a newbie.

Siobhan: The sex? [giggles and looks down, embarrassed] I can’t talk about the sex. [looks around and moves forward, towards the camera] But I will say this…I have learned exactly what all this ‘Gold Star’ stuff is about. And it’s nothing to do with store loyalty cards. [sits back and fans herself] Wow.

Geri: They have sex a lot. In Siobhan’s bedroom. In the bathroom. Siobhan’s car. The hot-tub. The kitchen. The kitchen is the one place I object to. I don’t want their bodily fluids messing with my meat. That’s just not hygienic. Makes it taste funny too. But mostly I’m happy for them. Cuz I’ve got my Roxie back and that’s all I can ask for. 

Roxie: Being back with Geri…hmmmmm. [thinks for a very long time] It’s uh…not that different to the first time we were together. Probably less sex.

Geri: We do it about once a month. Unless it’s her birthday month…then we don’t do it at all.

Roxie: Do I miss being with Andrea?

Geri: I don’t think she misses being with Andrea at all.

Roxie: Yeah. Yeah I do. Especially when I hear Siobhan’s voice get all high and squeaky right before she kind of makes this really deep, guttural moaning sound. I have a pretty good idea of what ‘Drea is doing to her. And I miss her doing that to me. [looks wistfully into the distance]

Siobhan: We haven’t actually…talked…all that much. Mostly because of all the sex we’ve been having.

Andrea: I’m kinda surprised that Siobhan doesn’t really seem to be one of those chicks who has to over-analyse everything and talk about her feelings every five minutes. So that’s cool.

Siobhan: But I’m sure that eventually we’ll get around to talking and doing stuff other than…sex.

Roxie: I like that I can talk to Geri. You know, really talk. She's a great listener.

Geri: Yeah, we have these deep, meaningful talks about...life and shit. I don't really understand most of 'em, but I nod and smile. And picture Roxie naked.

Andrea: [looks around to make sure no-one is listening] I’m gonna say this once and it better not get back to anyone. I…actually kinda like her.

Siobhan: She’s…not as bad as I first thought she was. She’s actually pretty great. In fact…I think I might go see what she's doing now... [gets up and walks off-camera]

Geri: [nods and smiles...then gets a faraway look on her face]

Roxie: [looks at camera and sighs deeply]

Andrea: [gives camera a meaningful look before picking up her coffee and taking a drink. Her attention is drawn to someone approaching from the right. 

Siobhan: [off-camera] Morning darling. [walks into frame]

Andrea: Morning

[Siobhan leans down and kisses Andrea softly on the lips. They smile at each other.

Siobhan: Morning [Straddles Andrea’s lap]

Andrea: Morning.

[They continue to kiss, heatedly, Andrea runs her hands over Siobhan’s torso while Siobhan tangles her hands in Andrea’s hair. Siobhan turns to face the camera as Andrea smiles against her neck. Siobhan winks and then gets back to some serious kissing]

FADE