Actions

Work Header

Monologue

Work Text:

"Finn," Poe murmured to the curled up mass he was cradling in his arms. As much as Poe hated to admit it, Finn was heavy and he was already feeling a bit weak. Blood and sweat matted his curly brown hair to his forehead, having barely escaped the vornskr that had been pursuing them as its next meal.

The reason the two men were sent to Myrkr was to map out the area and make an attempt at constructing a relationship with the humans currently inhabiting the forest planet. Myrkr had been neutral for sometime between the First Order and the Resistance, and General Leia had suggested trying to convince the humans there to allow them to set up a Resistance base there, due to the overwhelming amount of flora with high metal content, which confused the radars and sensors of ships passing, leaving the planet relatively unbothered.

Usually Rey would be sent on missions like this due to her affinity for chaparral planets, but Poe and Finn were chosen to take her place due to the Force being hindered by the native ysalamiri's Force-neutralising abilities and vornskr creatures who preyed on Force-sensitive beings. Despite this safety precaution, it seemed the two had managed to land themselves in some hot water nonetheless when they became a target of a hungry vornskr. Luckily, Finn was highly skilled with his lightsaber, but in the end they were left to simply outrun the creature, both Poe and his boyfriend sustaining injuries from the attack, but managing to evade the creature.

Now, Poe held Finn tight against his chest, gasping in deep breaths to try and steady his hyperventilating. He clung to the sweating male crushing him, appreciating the warmth even in the sticky humidity. He always appreciated Finn's contact. The pilot laid his head back, slumping against a rock, rubbing Finn's back softly for a moment.

"That was one nasty creature, huh, buddy?" Poe mused with a forced laugh, still seeming to be coming down from his adrenaline high. He doubled down to lay a kiss to Finn's temple, quickly returning to wear he sat. It hurt his back to lean forward, he was sore all over.

"I'm glad at least one of us knows how to use a lightsaber. If it weren't for you, we'd've both ended up as lunch," he chuckled softly, taking another deep breath, continuing to chatter dully to quell the silence. Poe did this a lot. Silence was so uncomfortable to him; he liked talking to Finn and he knew Finn liked to be talked to, even when he didn't have anything to say in return. Despite this, he still wished the conversation wasn't so one-sided right now. Poe tried to stay quiet for a moment, but found it impossible, piping up once again.

"You know, I do kind of wish Rey was here. She'd've kicked that awful beast's ass. But, on the other hand, she always gets mad at us for kissing, you know?" Dameron grinned to himself, laying back a bit more, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his side. "Rey's a good girl, though. If it weren't for her, we wouldn't be together, I guess." He sounded slightly chagrined by that, a warm smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He brought his hand down in a smooth stroke over his boyfriend's muscular back, able to feel the sweat and blood seeping through his shirt, wondering if it was his own, Poe's, or the vornskr's. The pilot's eyes flickered up to the sky, seeing that night was seeping through the pastel daylight. He smiled more.

"It's almost night..." Poe observed, blinking slowly. He was exhausted. "It's been a while since we didn't sleep in our own bed, huh?" He gave a crooked smile, cocking his head a bit. "Now there's no blankets for you to steal anyway," Poe teased, hoping that would make Finn smile.

Dameron closed his eyes for a moment, wanting to rest them just for a second before he continued chattering on. He thought maybe Finn could use a break from listening to him absentmindedly babble, anyway. It didn't last long, Poe's eyes snapping open with an apparently important message he needed to relay to his beloved.

"Finn?" He asked, as if to make sure his boyfriend hadn't absented himself; the presence of the weight on his legs and torso answered that question for him.
"I love you so much," Poe announced, voice sounding so thoughtful, as if he was admitting this for the first time. He told Finn this nearly 30 times a day, though. Dameron shook his head with a soft smile in return. "You're probably tired of hearing that, huh?" Finn didn't respond to that question, as Poe expected.
"Yeah, I would be, too." He answered on Finn's behalf. "... But, it's true. I love you so, so, so much. I'm so in love with you it's ridiculous. You're ridiculous. You're so amazing at everything and you're so handsome," Poe babbled, voice pitched with absolute adoration. "It's impossible not to love you... But nobody loves you as much as me. Nobody in the entire galaxy, Finn-" He paused to cough a bit, able to taste some blood but ignoring it. "Ech, sorry about the sappy romantic stuff. I know it's annoying," Dameron admitted, returning his eyes now to the sky once again, carding his fingers through Finn's hair and stroking his face lovingly.

"Mm... Finn, the stars," Poe pointed out with a slightly dreamy inflection, his voice sounding a bit hushed with something other than overwhelming amour. He was thinking about all the nights he and Finn had spent on D'Qar or on a ship gazing out at the stars. Finn loved pointing out the colourful bursts of nebulae, and Poe loved seeing the look of utter amazement and wonder across his boyfriend's face. "I love looking at the stars with you, you know? I love holding you like this, Finn... I love you so much.." Poe bit into his tongue hard at the last word, the stars he stared at blossoming into blurred spots as his eyes began to sting. He sucked in a shuddering breath, pulling Finn closer.

"I love you so much, Finn," Poe repeated, his chest feeling tight. He blinked away the tears, feeling them roll down his cheeks as his hands gripped at Finn's body. The empty weight felt so, so heavy now. Poe knew the last slash of the vornskr's venomous tail had killed Finn; he knew his beloved had been dead long before he dragged his corpse back into this secluded pocket and clung to him, still talking away. As the stars bled into the night sky, the fact those stars were his only company now began to settle fully in his mind.

"I love you more than anything."

Poe buried his face into the curve of Finn's neck, taking a shaky breath and pulling him tight against his body. His boyfriend was dead. Long dead, at that. He was alone now, with just the stars and this feeling of guilt, utter emptiness. Finn's weight felt so light compared to the anguish that was bearing down on him now. Now, Poe's entire world was reduced to just a dead weight he would cling to until someone forced him to let go. He had promised Finn long ago he would never let go; not after all Finn had been through. Not after all they had both been through. Poe drew in a deep, weak breath, tears streaming steadily down his face, holding his beloved tight, struggling to grasp this thought that this adoring embrace would never be returned.

"I love you, Finn."