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never really thought we would make it

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The moment that the smell of scrambled eggs hits Louis’ nostrils and makes him sick, he knows. He knows as he empties last night’s dinner into the toilet, as Harry rubs a soothing hand against his back. Louis has a feeling that Harry knows too by the way Harry is chewing on his bottom lip worryingly.

“Don’t suppose we have any tests around here?” Harry murmurs, and no. They don’t have any tests around because they weren’t expecting to get pregnant any time soon. Even though their kids had grown, Elias six and Hazel four, they still wanted to wait a bit longer to try for another. Apparently fate had different plans for them.

Louis wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and ignores the way Harry grimaces at the gesture. He brushes his teeth quickly and Harry gives him a soft smile.

“What do you think you could hold down, then?” Harry asks. Not eggs, Louis thinks, but returns a smile.

“Toast, maybe? And lots of tea?” Louis bats his eyelashes at Harry because he knows it works like a charm. A kiss is pressed to Louis’ cheek and he beams.

“Why don’t you go take a shower real quick and I’ll have that ready for you.” And a shower sounds wonderful.

So Louis trudges up the stairs slowly, trying not to make himself sick again. He stands in the shower for a long while, letting the hot water trickle down his back while he thinks. They can handle another baby. They switched out their flat for a nice house around the time of Hazel’s second birthday, one with a big yard and lots of space for their babies to play. Another kid is no big deal.

Louis steps out of the en-suite dressed in a pair of joggers and one of Harry’s sweaters to find Saint and Hazel on the bed. He smiles at the two of them and goes to lay down as well. Hazel cuddles into him instantly, her tiny hand rubbing at his tummy.

“Papa said you got sick.” Hazel frowns, and it’s almost identical to Harry’s.

Papa was something they started with Hazel and had to teach Elias, because both he and Harry being called Dad confused everyone. Elias picked up on it right away, recognized who was Daddy and who was Papa almost instantly. The change of names made it a whole lot easier to differentiate who the kids wanted at any certain time. 

“Yeah, love, I did get a little sick. I’m alright now.” Louis promises. He tries to run his hands through his daughter’s curls but his fingers keep getting stuck, her hair a mess from the previous night’s sleep.

“Good.” Hazel hums. The way she nuzzles into his chest makes his heart melt. Louis hears pounding up the stairs and knows Elias is coming to join, as if he can sense a cuddle session that’s happening without him. What surprises Louis is that Harry is right behind him, a tray of food in his hand.

“What’s all this?” Louis wonders as Elias jumps on the bed, sitting near his father’s legs.

“I asked Papa if we could get you breakfast in bed because you were feeling icky.” Elias beams and his smile is brighter than the sun. He’s got a single dimple carved into his left cheek, and Louis loves to poke at it the way he pokes at Harry’s.

“Here, babe.” Harry says as he passes over the tray, “Toast, tea, and some fruit. You don’t have to eat the fruit if you don’t think you can stomach it.”

The way Harry looks at him still makes his heart pound in his chest and he needs to feel Harry’s lips against his. So he purses his lips, eyes gleaming as Harry leans down to connect their mouths. Elias and Hazel make their sounds of disgust that make Harry giggle against Louis’ lips, but it’s all spectacular.

After Louis is done eating as much as he can they all lay in bed to watch cartoons. Louis lets out a quiet laugh as soon as he hears the bell of Yves’ collar, and the cat dashes into the room. He makes his way on the bed and into Hazel’s lap, purring as her fingers run down his back.

 Louis’ got all he needs right here in this bed, but he doesn’t think he would mind a third kid cuddled up with them.

~*~

Harry goes out that day to buy some pregnancy tests and Louis takes three of them. They all come out positive.

He schedules a doctor’s appointment the following week.

~*~

The next Saturday Louis and Harry drop the kids off at their Nana Anne’s, barely receiving goodbyes from Hazel and Elias. Anne had mentioned something about baking cookies and once the little ones heard that, they were as good as gone.

The drive to the doctor’s office is short and Harry has to place a hand on Louis’ thigh. As soon as the car is parked Harry leans over the gear to kiss Louis’ temple sweetly.

 “Hey.” Harry says, hooking his fingers under Louis’ chin to make Louis look at him.

“I love you, so, so much. Our kids love you, and if there is one hundred percent another baby they are going to love you too. We’re gonna be okay, Lou, and there’s no point in stressing out over this.” Louis nods and kisses Harry gently.

“You’re right, let’s go see if there’s gonna be a Tommo number three.”

They fill out all the necessary paper work and only have to wait about ten minutes until their doctor is ready for them. Doctor Elise Connor was a sweetheart, and Louis and Harry were probably her favorite patients. So the couple follows her back to a room, closing the door behind them. Louis sits on the examining table and Harry in the chair next to him, their hands clasped tight together.

“How are the kids?” Elise asks, beaming at the two men.

“Incredible, honestly. Hazel is already reading.” Harry gloats.

“How lovely! So are you two here for what I think you are?” She asks, eyes moving to Louis’ stomach. Louis flushes and nods, patting at his tummy.

“I’ve taken three tests and they were all positive.” He tells her and she hums.

“Symptoms?”

“Haz was making eggs one morning and as soon as I smelled them I got sick. I took the tests later that day. I’ve been sick a few times since then but also really tired.” Louis says.

“Well it sounds like you might have another little one on the way. I’m going to have to take a urine sample, as you know, and then an ultrasound from there depending on the outcome.” Louis knows all of this. He’s just disgusted by having to pee in a cup. He does his business and hands it over to Elise with bright red cheeks, the process never less embarrassing. It takes a little bit for the testing to go through and once it does, Elise comes back with a smile. Pregnant.

Harry grins and surges to kiss Louis’ who wraps his arms tight around Harry, smiling into his shoulder.

“So should we do the ultrasound?” Louis nods and lays back on the table as Elise rolls in the machine, setting it up. Harry runs his fingers over Louis’ arm as Elise squirts the gel on his abdomen. Louis isn’t sure how far along he is, but he can’t really notice any sign of a bump, due to the little pouch of his stomach he’s had since after Hazel was born.

The way the wand glides over Louis’ tummy makes him giggle and Elise smiles down at him. She looks back to the screen and stops as soon as she turns the wand a certain way. Her mouth drops open slightly before she composes herself with a smirk.

“It looks like your about eight weeks along, which explains the morning sickness and fatigue.” Louis nods and watches Elise’s face closely.

“I’m actually surprised you’re this small for being this far along.” She comments and it makes Louis furrow his brows. Harry must be confused as well because he speaks up.

“And why’s that?” He wonders. Elise turns the screen so the two men can see and instead of seeing the usual one sack, there’s two.

“Looks like that is Baby A,” she points at the screen, “And that is Baby B. Congratulations, guys. It looks like you’re having twins.”

Had Louis been drinking something he would’ve spit it out. Twins?

“Twins?” Harry asks, eyes bright like the moon. Elise nods and presses a few button, and two loud, fast, heartbeats fill the room. The sounds knock all the air out of Louis’ lungs and he chokes up a bit.

“We’re having twins?” Louis asks again, just to be sure. Elise hums and presses a few buttons.

“Have any in the family?” She questions and Harry barks out a laugh.

“His mum has two sets of twins. One identical, one fraternal.” Louis can’t be bothered by their conversation, because he’s too busy staring at the screen. Twins. Two more babies. At the same time.

“Don’t twins usually skip a generation though?” Louis wonders out loud. Elise shrugs.

“Technically yes, but it can happen randomly as well.” Louis nods.

Eventually their doctor wipes Louis clean and prints off a few copies of the ultrasound. They schedule another appointment for a few weeks later, and the couple walks out of the office hand in hand. The moment they get into the car Louis lets out a shaky breath.

“I can’t believe we’re having twins.” Harry says, and Louis nods slowly.

“How are we going to do it?” Louis’ voice cracks and Harry grabs is hand instantly, leaning over to press sweet kisses to his husband’s cheek.

“We’re going to do it just like we did it with El and Hazel. Sure, two new born babies are going to be a little rough but we’ve got our families that will be more than willing to help us out. Plus I’m sure Jay is going to have plenty of tips to make everything a bit simpler. We’ve been through hell and back, Lou, we’ll get through this too.” Harry tells him, and Louis believes every word.

~*~

At their twelve week scan, Louis and Harry are given the okay to start telling people about the pregnancy. They debate over who to tell first, their mothers or their kids, and ultimately decide that their kids wouldn’t be able to keep the secret. So they begin with Anne and Jay.

Louis, Harry, Anne, and Jay are at a small café one Sunday afternoon when they find out.

“Not that I don’t love seeing all of you,” Jay looks pointedly at Louis and Harry, “But there is a reason we’re here, right?” Louis giggles and nods his head excitedly.

“A few weeks ago Harry was making breakfast and the very second I got a whiff of the eggs, I got sick.” Anne and Jay both gasp, already knowing.

“What?!” Anne exclaims, trying to peer at Louis’ stomach. Harry places a hand on it and rubs it gently.

“So we go to the doctors to confirm it, right, and it turns out that we are having twins.” Louis beams at his husband and Harry laughs as Jay and Anne squeal like teenage girls.

“I want to see the bump!” Jay says, and moves to lift Louis’ shirt.

“Mum,” Louis groans, “We’re in public, no!”

Jay ignores him completely and her hands instantly fly to his stomach, feeling around.

“Oh my god. I cannot believe you guys are having twins.” She murmurs, completely mesmerized.

“Do you want to find out the sexes?” Anne asks, and of course they do. Both Harry and Louis are too impatient to hold off on knowing, even though they already have a kid of each sex.

“I can’t wait to know.” Louis exclaims, grinning at his own stomach.

“Well you know that whenever you need us, we’ll be there to help.” Jay promises, and Louis feels on top of the world.

~*~

Telling Elias and Hazel is a little more complicated. They’re both old enough to ask questions. When Louis got pregnant with Hazel, Elias was too young to ask how babies were made or where they came from. Now, with the kids being six and four, they were bound to be curious.

“Hey, loves?” Harry asks one night when he’s cuddled up on the couch with Louis as the kids are on the floor coloring.

“Yes, Papa?” Hazel responds, kicking her legs behind her. Elias is still concentrated on coloring, moving his marker slowly against the paper.

“El, babe.” Elias’ head snaps up, “We need to talk to you about something.” Elias nods and drops his colors, giving Louis his full attention.

“How would you guys feel about having more siblings?” Harry asks slowly, hoping they catch on right away.

“I don’t really care,” Elias shrugs, “Matthew in my class just got a new brother, and he said he just cries a lot and poops.”

Hazel’s eyes widen.

“Is that all babies do?” She sounds exasperated.

“That’s all you did.” Louis replies, making Hazel and Elias grimace.

“Hey, serious now.” Harry says and everyone nods.

“The reason we’re asking, is because Daddy is pregnant. You are going to get two new siblings very soon!” Hazel and Elias blink at them. Hazel quirks an eyebrow up the way she’s seen Louis do it a million times.

“’Kay. So, like, can I color now?” Louis bites back a grin and turns to Harry, whose jaw is hung in shock.

“That’s it? You don’t have any questions?” Elias, who has already gone back to his picture, just hums. Louis actually laughs at that, leaning over to kiss Harry’s cheek a few times.

“You’re gonna catch flies, love.” Louis giggles.

“I thought they we’re going to ask us things! Like, I thought we were going to have the talk, right now!” Harry exclaims. Louis just rolls his eyes and cuddles into Harry’s side.

“Maybe it’s a good thing that they aren’t really bothered. It means we won’t get harassed every day about when the babies will be born.” And Louis makes a good point. So all Harry does is nod, and let out a huge sigh of release that he doesn’t have to go into what happens when two people love each other very much.

~*~

That night, Louis finds himself reading in bed while Harry takes a quick shower. Yves and Saint are sprawled out in the space Harry usually lays, and Louis reaches out a hand to scratch both of their chins.

“You guys will be alright with two more babies, right?” Louis whispers. Yves seems to be on the verge of sleep and Saint just yawns up at her owner.

“I’m kinda scared, you know?” Louis then says, not noticing Harry’s presence in the room.

“H keeps telling me that we’ll be fine, and so does mum, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle all of this.” Louis tells Saint, sighing and picking her up to cuddle her close.

“I just don’t want to screw this up for everyone.” Louis murmurs into her fur, and she responds by licking his face.

“Babe.” Louis hears, and looks up to see Harry standing at the bathroom door, tears welled in his eyes. Louis’ own eyes water up then too, because no one was supposed to hear that. He didn’t want anyone knowing he was insecure and doubtful of his parenting skills.

“Baby, we’re going to be fine.” Harry assures as he slides into the bed. Louis doesn’t even have to ask before Harry’s pulling him closer and peppering his head with kisses. Louis rests his face against his spouse’s bare shoulder and gives out a shaky breath.

“How can you be so sure?” Louis whimpers.

“Because you’re the best dad and person I know, and you can do anything. You’re invincible.” Harry tells him. It’s not quite enough for Louis to forget all his worries, but it is enough to get him to fall asleep for the night.

~*~

Hazel and Elias finally get excited when they find out the sexes of the babies around week 20. They’re having both a boy and a girl. Almost everyone cries at the news, and Hazel and Elias are both ecstatic to have both a new baby brother and sister. Louis thinks that things are really starting to look up.

~*~

Harry and Louis get into a fight about the baby names. Naturally, Louis wanted to have the boys middle name be Edward, because it was only fair. Elias was named after him and he wanted their next son to be named after Harry. However, Harry didn’t feel the same.

“It’s not our obligation to name our children after us, you know.” Harry comments and Louis might be seeing red.

“Shut up, Harry.” Louis snaps, “I like the name Edward, so that’s what his middle name will be.”

“I don’t think it works like that, considering he’s not just your baby.” Harry replies, and he himself is getting a little irritated.

“Well you’re not the one carrying them, are you?” Louis exclaims.

“Just because you’re carrying them doesn’t make me any less of their father! Jesus, Lou, get your head out of your ass so damn stubborn all the time.” Harry stands up and grabs his pillow from the bed and Louis instantly knows he’s messed up.

“H..” Louis whimpers, but Harry shakes his head.

“No, Louis, that’s not going to work. I don’t appreciate the things you’ve said to me. I’m trying my best to keep you happy, healthy, and give you everything you want and deserve. I’d just like to see a little bit of appreciation once in a while.” Harry walks out of the room then, probably going to retire to the couch. This is only the second time one of them has decided to sleep on the couch, the first being about a year into their relationship.

Louis hates himself for how he’s treated the love of his life, and only falls asleep when he’s become too exhausted from all the tears he’s cried.

~*~
When Louis wakes up the next morning his first instinct is to get some food in his stomach. Upon entering the kitchen he spots a huge bouquet of roses and a card propped up on the counter.

‘Off to work. Even though these roses are beautiful, I think you’ve got them beaten. I’m sorry for last night, and I think Edward will be a wonderful middle name. I love you lots and I’ll miss you. See you later, sunshine. –H’

Louis grins and leans down to smell the roses.

All is most definitely forgiven.

~*~
Louis is at 37 weeks and he’s about ready to pop. He’s not expected to make it to term, and if he has the babies now, they’ll be as happy as healthy as any other baby. The want to get the babies out of him is real, so Louis is trying everything in his power to have the twins as soon as possible.

He’s tried going on walks, eating spicy foods, and he even made Harry drive him down the bumpiest roads they could find. No such luck. Louis’ miserable, feels like a fucking whale, and cannot wait to just get the twins out of his body.

~*~
Louis has the final straw during week 38. He’s tired and sore and so, so ready not to be pregnant again for years.

He comes to wits end one Friday night in August, when he’s too hot and two big to fall asleep comfortable. It’s just past eleven at night, and Harry’s snoring loudly beside him, not helping his current situation. He makes a decision then, one he swore wasn’t going to make, and kicks Harry hard in the shin.

“Lou.” Harry groans, reaching down to rub at his leg. His eyes are still closed, and that just won’t do.

“I need you to fuck me.” Louis whispers, and he’s never seen Harry wake up faster.

“Yes.” Is all Harry says, before his lips are on Louis’. They kiss hungrily for a few minutes, just to work themselves up before Harry pulls away.

“I thought we weren’t gonna do this.” He pants. Louis tugs at the curls at the back of his neck.

“Can’t help it. Have to get these babies out of here.” The grin Harry has on his face is blinding, and he goes down to kiss at Louis’ neck.

To Louis’ complete joy, he goes into labor not twenty minutes after they’ve finished.

~*~

The babies are born just after four in the morning, and Louis has never felt so relieved. Eloise Johannah and Hudson Edward are absolutely beautiful, both with soft whips of light hair and the cutest noses and the chubbiest cheeks. Louis never wants to take his eyes off of them, because he carried them and they are perfect and healthy. He’s now convinced that he’ll be able to hand things just fine.

~*~

Anne shows up to bring Elias and Hazel around ten that morning, and the two are eager to see their baby brother and sister. Louis has Eloise in his arms while Harry has Hudson, rocking him slightly. Hazel falls in love with both of them, kissing them a million times while Elias is a little more wary, not sure he wants to hold them quite yet because he doesn’t want them to poop in his arms. Louis and Harry have to laugh at that. They are awed by their perfect family, and cant’ wait to settle into the new life they have.

~*~

When they get to take the twins home, Yves is so thrilled to have babies back in the house that he has a hard time choosing which one he wants to sleep on and be with. Saint is still sent running every time a baby wails, but that was to be expected.

~*~

It’s around a month later, when Harry is sitting on the couch while the all the kids nap-a miracle- that Louis comes home absolutely grinning. In his hand’s he’s carrying a pet carrier, and Harry can’t help but bark out a laugh.

“I cannot believe you.” Harry chuckles. Louis shrugs and sets the carrier down, opening the cage. Harry shouldn’t really be surprised when not one, but two, small black and white kittens venture out of the crate.

“You said we would get a cat every time we had a kid.” Louis points out, picking up one of them and handing it to Harry.

“What are we going to name them?” Harry asks, scratching at the kittens head.

“They’ve already got names,” Louis’ eyes sparkle, “Gatsby and Atticus.”

Harry rolls his eyes because of course his English nerd of a husband would name their pets after book characters.

“Well what about Laurent?” Harry asks, and it’s more of a joke than anything else. Louis smirks.

“Try not to get me knocked up with twins next time and you’ve got yourself a kitten named Laurent.”