Lucifer paced back and forth in front of the group that had gathered in the Lower Tadfield Airbase. In all honestly why he was so surprised at his own sons actions was a surprise in itself. I mean, he was kicked out of Heaven for being the rebellious one, so naturally, sure, his son would be just as rebellious if not even more now that he was entering those dreaded teenage years. But come on, really, it wasn't that hard. Bring about the apocalypse for daddy dearest, that wasn't asking to much. Was it?
Then the little brat had the audacity to try and avert his arrival. That could also be blamed on him, long distant parenting was harder then it look. Those idiots upstairs were probably laughing their angelic asses off at him right now. And Michael, oh Father, he'd hate to see him right now. If that were to happen someone would be decked, hard. That Warlock kid was a brat sure, but his kid was a brat with archangelic powers.
Lucifer stopped pacing back and forth. Adam wasn't even looking at him anymore, The Morningstar resisted the urge to face-palm, oh no the little brat was too busy discussing with his friends the next bout of trouble they'd be getting into. He nipped that one in the butt right then and there.
"Really Adam? First you pull out of the apocalypse at the last minute but then you go and completely ignore me?"
Adam was a bright child. He was much much more then a simple eleven year old. He truly didn't seem to care that his biological father had been pacing back and forth in front of the weary looking Crowley and Aziraphale, shocked and silent Anathema and Newt, and well Shadwell being Shadwell. His friends couldn't stop staring ahead at the ex-archangel turned Satan as he paced back and forth muttering under his breath about insubordination and petulant brats. Adam briefly wondered if he was a little crazed in the head. But then an idea hit the eleven your old preteen and his attention snapped back to his friends who in all pretenses looked back at him as they started the plan for their next big shebang.
Adam spun around eyes wide. Around them everyone's eyes widened at the brief but to the point statement. Adam for his part completely ignored everyone else as he stared at his father with unbelieving eyes. Did he really just say that? Sure when his adoptive father tried to ground him he usually got out of it one way or another but this was different. This was Satan and beside the fact he had just the humanest statement any creature that wasn't human could say, Adam was eleven years old and his first thought was 'That's not fair'.
"What! You can't do that!"
"Oh ho ho! I can and did! Your grounded mister!"
"Nope I don't think so! Dog (seriously?) Here!"
Dog looked between his master and his master's father. He was torn here, at a crossroad per say. He wanted to stay with his Master, but then he didn't want to get in trouble with his Master's Father either. So he made his decision and Dog gave Adam a sorrowful look before trotting over the Lucifer's side. Adam sputtered out things like 'that's not fair' and 'oh come on'.
"Oh and it was fair for you to question ineffable plans! No. So now your grounded!"
Adam stopped protesting and simply stuck to glaring, but come on, this was Satan he was glaring at. Even if his glare unnerved most people it didn't unnerve Lucifer. He simply snapped his fingers and everyone started to go back to their everyday lives like nothing had just happened not only five minutes ago.
Adam crossed his arms as Lucifer smirked down at him. Still wasn't fair.
Really, Adam saying no was one thing but Sam Winchester was being a downright asshole. Lucifer only wants to use him to bring about the apocalypse that Adam had so blatantly turned down all those years ago. Sure he was the Antichrist, Spawn of Satan who was the embodiment of rebellion pretty much.
But come on! Adam was asking for it, so yes the kid was till grounded and being still grounded Lucifer had been forced to bring him when he was trying to get Nick. Sure it wasn't the best laid out plan but there was only certain things he was willing to let his forever eleven year old son to be apart of. Apocalypse, sure. Death to Michael, sure. Antagonize souls in Hell, sure. But seeing a depressed drunk man, even he had his lines.
"Ok so your going to stay put while I do this then we go. Got it? Any questions?"
Adam got this look on his face as if he was thinking about said questions, "Can we go to McDonald's when we're done here?"
"Maybe. If you behave."
With that being said Lucifer disappeared fora few moments and Adam watched from the shadows as his father reappeared moments later in the drunk mans room. To be completely honest seeing his dad as a women almost made Adam snicker. But something invisible smack him upside the head stopping any laughter from actually spilling out of his mouth.
Nick, that's what Adam thanks he heard when his dad had explained this to him, to be honest he wasn't really listening because well he really wanted McDonald's, but he's going to call him Nick anyway. Nick was ind of pathetic really, sure he had lost his wife and baby. But Adam had lost people he really loved and didn't go about drinking his sorrows away. Even if it had something to do with the fact that he was still grounded, eleven years old, and didn't find the drink very appetizing (although he will admit nothing on how he knows that).
"If I help you... can you bring back my family?"
"Do you think he can bring back your family?"
Adam knows he should have stayed quite and in the shadows but the temptation was just too much. This man was an idiot. Adam simply loved messing with idiotic people.
But Adam ignored his fathers roar and plopped himself down on the bed beside Nick in his stead.
"I'm sorry man but your family's dead. Long gone. Six Feet Under. Walked off into the Light. Taking a dirt nap. "
Lucifer didn't resist it this time, he face-palmed. Only his son would have all those death euphemisms just laying around in his mind. To be truthful here, cause he doesn't lie for he doesn't need to, he actually found it quite amusing. Wait what? What was happening to him? Why did he find it amusing? WHAT?
"Kicked the can, At room temperature, Danced the last Dance, Dead meat, Cold, Conked, Croaked, Ceased to exist, Erased, Expired, Extinct, Bi-"
"Adam he gets it"
Adam moped and quietly added a couple more. Nick had gone silent and round eyed. This as going to be easy.
"Just say yes"
"If I say 'yes' will he stop?"
Adam had kept going apparently. This kid was simply full of wonders.
Adam looked away as he changed bodies. His blue eyes settled back on his dad after the body changing was done.
"So... McDonald's then?"
Lucifer rolled his eyes and snapped them there. He got his vessel and Adam got his chicken nuggets.
All was good.
Once again his dad was dressed up as a women and Adam was once again finding it very had to not laugh at the entire thing. Sadly though his dad had placed a spell on him so he couldn't interrupt like last time. Lucifer's ideal was that Adam was supposed to be grounded until the next century, the fact that he got McDonald's when asked for was pushing it.
So Adam did what Adam does best, made comments about the entire situation from the side lines and watched as his dad had to resist laughing at some of them. His new goal for the month was to get the ma to laugh. He'd heard a chuckle every now and then, a snicker even. But never a laugh. Don't judge ok, he's the freaking Antichrist, he can do what he wants.
Sam had said something, "A riddle wrapped inside an enigma wrapped inside a taco"
Adam rubbed his stomach as if it had talked to him.
"I agree tummy.."
Bright blue eyes looked back up at the scene around him, "DAD! CAN WE GET TACOS!"
"NOT NOW ADAM!"
Adam had a bone to pick with those stupid Winchesters. They had to go and shot his dad! Seriously! Just because those women died and they were all mopey and angry as usually and his dad had killed all the women and children (ok, not every child in town) to summon death they decided to shot him. What is it with these trigger happy hunter types. They shoot at anything that moves funny!
He didn't move though, like the two dunderheads in front of his invisible self. His eyes were wide just like theirs. Lucifer's last words he spoke had been 'ADAM!' and then he was gone. Adam didn't consider himself the crying type but he had just lost his only father so he let the tears fall from his eyes. He thought being grounded wasn't fair, but, but this wasn't fair.
Everything went past in a blur for Adam in the next couple minutes. His dad popped back into the picture with his trademark smirk.
"There are only five things the Colt can't kill- And I just happen to be one of them"
Adam had no idea how he had broken the spell Lucifer had placed on him, but he had, and he flung himself at the blonde man. His dad wrapped his arms around him, either to steady them or out of surprise, but Adam buried himself in his fathers scent and bawled.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you"
"Lucifer... You are my brother, and I love you. But your a great big bag of dicks"
"What did you say to me"
Now that was absolutely made Adam's day. HA!
"HA HE CALLED YOU A DICK!"
Both archangels, or archangel and ex-archangel, spun around towards the voice that turned out to be a young man around eleven years old sticking his finger into the chocolate fountain on the table next to the left wall. Lucifer face-palmed like he usually does with Adam's uncanny timing while Gabriel stared at the boy intently.
"Is he... Am I... NEPHEW!"
"I HAVE AN UNCLE!"
"You have three Adam"
"HIS NAMES ADAM! HE'S SOOO CUTE!"
Adam's face darkened at being called 'cute'. He hated that word. He was not cute!
"AND HE LOVES CHOCOLATE!"
Lucifer face-palmed again. Great, as if one Gabriel wasn't enough!
Adam laughed at the irony in this entire situation. Well, dad had finally gotten his true vessel and one again Adam had to ruin even taht for him.
"DAD GET OUT OF THAT THING! YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN!"
"CAN I HAVE DOG BACK NOW!"
Michael was laughing at him. Why was his son's main goal in life to make his a living Hell? I mean he's been to Hell, and that is not as bad as Adam!