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Kanye Fuckers

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Daddy Shrek added AmazingPhil, sleep lord, frnkiero, spooky jim, tj and kanye west.

 

Daddy Shrek changed the name to Favourite Accounts ✨

 

Daddy Shrek: hey guys! you’re my favourite accounts but we’ve never rlly spoken so i’d love to say hi
Daddy Shrek: in case you didn’t know i’m dan :)

sleep lord: Hey Dan! I love your account :)
sleep lord: I’m Gerard !

Daddy Shrek: i know
Daddy Shrek: oops
Daddy Shrek: i mean like i’ve followed you ages so i know your name aha
Daddy Shrek: but like
Daddy Shrek: thanks
Daddy Shrek: you’re my fave

AmazingPhil: Obviously you know my name, Dan. But for everyone else, I’m Phil!

spooky jim: hello i’m josh

AmazingPhil: Hi Josh!

Daddy Shrek: hey josh!
Daddy Shrek: of course phil

sleep lord: Thanks so much Dan!
sleep lord: Hey Phil! Hey Josh!
sleep lord: Nice to meet you all.

frnkiero: it’s rat’s ass am the fuck do you want

sleep lord: frANK
sleep lord: Frank and I live in New Jersey so it’s currently 6:52am over here

Daddy Shrek: omg it’s midday here i’m typing under the desk at school

sleep lord: Be careful!

frnkiero: this chat’s beeping woke me up

Daddy Shrek: im so sorry omg

sleep lord: It’s fine, he’ll live.

frnkiero: easy for you to say ‘sleep lord’

sleep lord: Actually I haven’t done any sleeping whatsoever in the past 32 hours.

frnkiero: at least you have the fucking choice

sleep lord: Hey you will soon Frank, hang in there x

frnkiero: pm me

 

Daddy Shrek: gerard how come you’re up??

 

sleep lord: Sleep is for the weak.

AmazingPhil: Why do you have sleep in your name then ?

 

sleep lord: disguise

Daddy Shrek: xD

AmazingPhil removed Daddy Shrek

 

spooky jim added Daddy Shrek

Daddy Shrek: thanks josh

spooky jim: I gotchu

spooky jim: Gerard, Frank, I feel your pain I’m in ohio it’s 7am, I gotta get ready for school

tj: i’m in ohio too

spooky jim: AWESOME
spooky jim: Where abouts?

tj: i’ll pm u

 

frnkiero: wait who the fuck added kanye west

Daddy Shrek: me

frnkiero: how the fuck??

Daddy Shrek: a friend hacked it so I can dm him

frnkiero: i call bullshit

Daddy Shrek: srsly

frnkiero: i would not be dming the real kanye west with a name like ‘Daddy Shrek’

Daddy Shrek: SHIT

Daddy Shrek changed his name to Daniel Howell ☺

frnkiero changed his name to Frank Iero ☺

sleep lord: Interesting name change Frank ...

Frank Iero ☺: what??

sleep lord: I didn't expect it to be so easy for you to give up your beloved no vowels aesthetic.
sleep lord: You changed your name for some mediocre pop star?
sleep lord: I'm shocked

Daniel Howell ☺: ‘mediocre popstar’
Daniel Howell ☺: What the fuck did you just fucking say about Kanye West, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about Kanye West over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

sleep lord: woah

Frank Iero ☺: don't send that shit

Daniel Howell ☺: why?

Frank Iero ☺: it’s not nice

Daniel Howell ☺: it’s a fucking meme

Frank Iero ☺: I don't give shit what it is the themes and imagery are still the same

sleep lord: It’s fine

spooky jim: they spelt guerrilla warfare as gorilla warfare lmao don't take it seriously

Daniel Howell ☺: fuck im so sorry if i offended, upset or triggered anyone i didn't mean to it was just a joke im sorry

sleep lord: Dan
sleep lord: It’s okay
sleep lord: You’re fine
sleep lord: Don't worry about it
sleep lord: Please
sleep lord: :::```°≈≈≈✨sparkles✨§∞′°~```

AmazingPhil: Hey that reminds me, does anyone here have any triggers?

Frank Iero ☺: animal abuse

sleep lord: ^^^

Frank Iero ☺: meat and shit, animal gore and also gore in general isn't particularly pleasant

tj: i have a few but to tell you would be to tell you my weak spots, which is the most dangerous thing in the world

sleep lord: I understand completely
sleep lord: Frank you run a gore tumblr??

Frank Iero ☺: it’s different

sleep lord: Yeah the death just has a nice filter on it

Frank Iero ☺: it’s not just random real gore suddenly rted into my feed tho

sleep lord: mhmm
sleep lord: I must admit, from an artistic standpoint, I’m open minded and can sorta get the appeal, but from a human standpoint I’m gonna be sick

Daniel Howell ☺: yeah
Daniel Howell ☺: tag your gore/pomegranates asswipe

Frank Iero ☺: who are you calling an asswipe??

sleep lord: Who are you telling to tag their pomegranates??

 

tj: i like pomegranates

 

spooky jim: About the triggers: I have anxiety so just like don’t deliberately make me anxious

AmazingPhil: We would never!
AmazingPhil: I don’t have any :)

Daniel Howell ☺: just self harm and related stuff (e.g. blades, blood etc) for me

tj: ^

Daniel Howell ☺: gerard, do you have any?

sleep lord: Oh boy
sleep lord: I sure do
sleep lord: Some include:
sleep lord: - Living
sleep lord: - Existing
sleep lord: - Breathing

Daniel Howell ☺: no but seriously

sleep lord: Too many to list
sleep lord: And a bunch of obscure everyday things that’re impossible to tag
sleep lord: Like a temperature between 3 and 6 degrees
sleep lord: Or a heavy italian accents
sleep lord: And a bunch more I haven’t worked out yet, and can’t try to because otherwise I’ll get triggered by the triggers
sleep lord: And some I know and can’t list because typing them would do the same

sleep lord: I just don’t like violence and stuff

Daniel Howell ☺: shit im so sorry for sending the war thing fml

sleep lord: It’s fine seriously, it made me laugh
sleep lord: I only read the first sentence anyway

spooky jim: I just got outta school I am blessed

Frank Iero ☺: I’m on the bus home and it’s taking all the self control I don’t have to not throw myself in front of it

sleep lord: don’t do that
sleep lord: I would cry

Frank Iero ☺: you cry at everything g

sleep lord: tru
sleep lord: But I’d cry extra hard if you ended up under a bus
sleep lord: I don’t think I’d ever stop

Frank Iero ☺: hmm

 

Daniel Howell ☺: don’t do it because anyone who likes Kanye is automatically amazing

Frank Iero ☺: tru

 

sleep lord: I’m shocked and confused by these revelations

Frank Iero ☺ changed the group name to Kanye Fuckers

sleep lord: Please no

Frank Iero ☺: yes

Daniel Howell ☺: yes

tj changed his name to Tyler Joseph ☺

Tyler Joseph ☺: yes

spooky jim: TYLER NO

sleep lord: no

AmazingPhil: no

Daniel Howell ☺: fight me

AmazingPhil: no I have revision to do
AmazingPhil: and you have that physics homework due tomorrow

Daniel Howell ☺: SHIT

spooky jim: I have homework but that’s for 10pm me to deal with
spooky jim: tyler since when did you like kanye

Tyler Joseph ☺: i did all my homework at the weekend
Tyler Joseph ☺: since forever jishwa

Frank Iero ☺: don’t fucking remind me I have a detention tomorrow for the homework I didn’t do due today and I have finals coming up

sleep lord: Wait how old is everyone here?
sleep lord: Or what grade?
sleep lord: Because apparently everyone’s at school

Frank Iero ☺: 18 and senior year
Frank Iero ☺: you knew that g

spooky jim: wow tyler

AmazingPhil: I’m 16 and in year 11 but I’m not sure what american grade that is

spooky jim: Frank I thought you were younger than that woah

Tyler Joseph ☺: i’m 15 and freshman year

spooky jim: I’m 15 and in sophomore year

Tyler Joseph ☺: u got a problem josh?

Daniel Howell ☺: I’m 14 and year 10 which is like freshman year

spooky jim: none at all

sleep lord: SMOLS
sleep lord: SO SMOL

Daniel Howell ☺: how old are you then?

sleep lord: 20

Daniel Howell ☺: MUM

Frank Iero ☺: MOM

sleep lord: CHILDREN

Tyler Joseph ☺: sleep lord have u slept yet

sleep lord: nope

Tyler Joseph ☺: sleep

sleep lord: I’m enjoying getting to know you guys too much
sleep lord: What’s everyone’s pronouns / sexualities because I should probably put it out there, I’m not exactly cis nor straight.

AmazingPhil: I’m cis, bisexual and he/him pronouns

Frank Iero ☺: ew cis

spooky jim: I’m cishet lmao

Frank Iero ☺: I’m a bisexual transboy so he/him

Daniel Howell ☺: i’m bisexual and cis so he/him

Frank Iero ☺: EW CISHET

Daniel Howell ☺: gerard what are your pronouns I think I’ve been misgendering you this whole time D:

Frank Iero ☺: are me and G really the only trans people here?

sleep lord: I really don’t mind so any are fine, most people use he/they and I’m cool with that

Tyler Joseph ☺: i’ve never told anyone this before but i think i’m agender

Daniel Howell ☺: that’s good

Frank Iero ☺: rad

Tyler Joseph ☺: i am very boyish but i kinda don’t feel like i have a gender and i found the term and i think it fits especially as i’m asexual and aromantic

sleep lord: that’s amazing!

spooky jim: !!!!!!!
spooky jim: I’m so happy for you

Frank Iero ☺: are you all the a’s then?
Frank Iero ☺: triple a is the new tri bi

Tyler Joseph ☺: i still feel :// about it because i like he pronouns and stuff

sleep lord: Pronouns =/= gender
sleep lord: Besides I think you can be an agender boy

Tyler Joseph ☺: yeah
Tyler Joseph ☺: i think that’s me

sleep lord: Amazing <3

 

Daniel Howell ☺: does anyone like shrek?

Tyler Joseph ☺: no

sleep lord: no

Frank Iero ☺: no

spooky jim: no

AmazingPhil: no

 

Kanye West left the group

Daniel Howell ☺: F

Daniel Howell ☺: OHG MNHGOD

Daniel Howell ☺: IM SDCXREAM

Frank Iero ☺: HOLY FDUCKUG SHIT

sleep lord: WOW OK

Tyler Joseph ☺: WOAH

Frank Iero ☺: I SHAT NMYHSD

spooky jim: what the hecky

sleep lord: FRANK

AmazingPhil: omg

Daniel Howell ☺: DFSSASDFDGBKERJG

spooky jim: Did the real Kanye West just leave our gc??

AmazingPhil: Yes??

sleep lord: I think so

Tyler Joseph ☺: i cant belie ve

sleep lord: For real ?

AmazingPhil: Yes!

spooky jim: That can’t have been the legit account

AmazingPhil: It was

sleep lord: It’s verified

Tyler Joseph ☺: it w as actuak y him

spooky jim: You ok there?

Tyler Joseph ☺: y esh

sleep lord: It can’t have been him, it must’ve been his management or something

Tyler Joseph ☺: n o he rins hu s acco unt

AmazingPhil: I’m putting this on my cv

sleep lord: Where did Frank go?

AmazingPhil: and Dan?

spooky jim: I think they died

AmazingPhil: RIP

Chapter Text

Daniel Howell changed his name to Force Choke Me Dad™

Frank Iero ☺: you have a fucking daddy kink don’t you?

Force Choke Me Dad™: no

AmazingPhil: He does

Tyler Joseph ☺: phil how do u know

Frank Iero ☺: omg

spooky jim: I ship it

Frank Iero ☺: who doesn’t?

Tyler Joseph ☺: i’m ace and i do

spooky jim: i’m gonna write some phan fanfiction
spooky jim: PHANFICTION

Force Choke Me Dad™: if you think you are the only person who has come up with that pun you are sorely mistaken

Tyler Joseph ☺: josh doesn’t need ur negativity daniel

spooky jim: lets phan rp

Frank Iero ☺: i’m dan

spooky jim: I’m phil

Tyler Joseph ☺: im jish

Force Choke Me Dad™: i’m kanye

spooky jim: who’s gonna start?

Frank Iero ☺: me
Frank Iero ☺: Daddy I love you fuck me daddy phil, let’s have a shrek/kanye/dan/phil foursome daddy please

Tyler Joseph ☺: i cant believe you made me read that
Tyler Joseph ☺: wait im in character im josh
Tyler Joseph ☺: [sunshines profusely] what the heck

spooky jim: aw thanks ty you’re the cutest I swear
spooky jim: I mean I will fuck you baby boy dan I love you

Frank Iero ☺: ugh daddy feels so good

spooky jim: baby please

Frank Iero ☺: daddy can i have Cummies™?

spooky jim: yes baby boy

Frank Iero ☺: thank you daddy

Force Choke Me Dad™: i’m running for president in 2020

AmazingPhil: I leave for 2 minutes I swear

spooky jim: what even was that?

Frank Iero ☺: one of the reasons i’m going to hell

Tyler Joseph ☺: i need to rinse my eyes out with bleach

Frank Iero ☺: i need to bathe in bleach

Force Choke Me Dad™: kinky

 

sleep lord: GAYS
sleep lord: guys
sleep lord: I just slept for 27 hours.

sleep lord: And what the fuck happened to this chat

Force Choke Me Dad™: goals

Tyler Joseph ☺: i have no idea

Frank Iero ☺: g i thought you’d died

sleep lord: Nah just in a fucking coma

spooky jim: “GAYS”
spooky jim: me:

 

sleep lord: Are you sure you’re straight?

spooky jim: yeah, why?

sleep lord: You just took part in a kinky gay role play?

spooky jim: you have a compelling argument
spooky jim: but i am in fact straight

Frank Iero ☺: sure jan

sleep lord: As if you can talk Frank
sleep lord: Acting like you’re a bottom

Force Choke Me Dad™: how do you know he isn’t?

sleep lord: I know things, remember.

Force Choke Me Dad™: i ship it

sleep lord: No stop omg
sleep lord: I’m Frank’s mom it’d be incest

Force Choke Me Dad™: not nessacarily
Force Choke Me Dad™: haven’t u heard of dd/lg?

Frank Iero ☺: fucking stop dan

sleep lord: Don’t talk to me or my son ever again

Force Choke Me Dad™: i’m sorry oops

sleep lord: I’m only taking the piss dw <3

AmazingPhil: How did you manage to typo ‘guys’ as ‘gays’?

Tyler Joseph ☺: are you actually frank’s mom?

spooky jim: yeah the ‘a’ and the ‘u’ are at opposite ends of the keyboard?

sleep lord: I wish

Frank Iero ☺: lmao i’d sell my mom to be just a few miles closer to g

sleep lord: who said it was a typo?
sleep lord: I will pass my driving test one day and then I can rescue you hold on

Frank Iero ☺: you’ll pass your driving test when i’m six feet under

sleep lord: I have another one in 3 months this will be the one

Frank Iero ☺: you say for the 6th fucking time

Force Choke Me Dad™: don’t you live in the same state? can’t you get public transport or smth?

Frank Iero ☺: i’m not allowed

sleep lord: It’s a 2 hour drive or a 4 hour train ride
sleep lord: I used to live in newark which is really near belleville but then a few years back I moved right down near philadelphia 3

sleep lord: I went to college round here but I dropped out and now I plan on passing my driving test, getting into the sva in nyc then whisking Frank away and getting a flat together in the city

Force Choke Me Dad™: sounds romantic

 

sleep lord: Hey can I add my little brother to this chat?
sleep lord: He’s cool I swear

Force Choke Me Dad™: sure

sleep lord added mw4y20

sleep lord: Kanye Fuckers meet Mikey, Mikey meet the Kanye Fuckers.

mw4y20: nice 2 meet u

Frank Iero ☺: hey bro

mw4y20: hi frank r u the dude my brothers fucking

Frank Iero ☺: i wish

mw4y20: not sayin anything

sleep lord:

Force Choke Me Dad™: omg

mw4y20: look @ the d8

Tyler Joseph ☺: what?

mw4y20: 4/20
mw4y20: blaze

sleep lord: Mikey no I’m telling mom

mw4y20: g no

sleep lord: I just came downstairs and my fucking basement reeks of weed you asshole

 

spooky jim: omg
spooky jim: 420

spooky jim changed his name to smoky jim 420

Tyler Joseph ☺ changed his name to tj420

AmazingPhil changed his name to (A)blazing(Phil)

Force Choke Me Dad™: phil no

Frank Iero ☺ changed his name to 420✌frnk✌420

tj420: my joints are unlit

mw4y20: lmao my r’nt

smoky jim 420: huh?

mw4y20: my joints r lit af

Force Choke Me Dad™: how old are u?

mw4y20: 17

Force Choke Me Dad™: oh i was gonna be like PUT THOSE JOINTS OUT UR 12 but fair dos i guess

mw4y20: im not 12

sleep lord: He;s 12

mw4y20: i hate u g

sleep lord: Ikm= love you

mw4y20: endlessly

Force Choke Me Dad™: this is adorable

smoky jim 420: AW

420✌frnk✌420: g way are you stoned already?

sleep lord: A curl
sleep lord: Ducking autocorrect

mw4y20: he’s sich a lughtwegt he wpn’t stop laughing bc hethinks u stole my glssses from harry potte

tj420: omg

Force Choke Me Dad™: amazing

420✌frnk✌420: skype me g i need to see this

Force Choke Me Dad™: send us updates frank
Force Choke Me Dad™: gerard getting high is the most eventful thing that’s happened since phil got bitten by a squirrel

(A)blazing(Phil): It hurt!! All it’s little teeth dug right in

Force Choke Me Dad™: :((

420✌frnk✌420: me and g are skyping and he’s talking to the glasses now

Force Choke Me Dad™: amazing

mw4y20: gsrea beat me t the chubby fucking bunny chakenge

sleep lord: I am a cgyvy ducking bonnet

Force Choke Me Dad™: bonnet

sleep lord changed his name to bonnet

mw4y20: cn i add petre ti thua chat h hhere 2

Force Choke Me Dad™: if you want i guess

mw4y20 added pweezy420

Force Choke Me Dad™: hello petre

smoky jim 420: hey Petre

(A)blazing(Phil): Hi Petre

tj420: petre

pweezy420: who tge fuck is petre

mw4y20: dat boi!!!!

Force Choke Me Dad™: omg

pweezy420: o shit waddup!

bonnet: okmnbgh

420✌frnk✌420: stoners update: gerards been calling pete ‘petre’ for the last 10 minutes

bonnet: ri

Force Choke Me Dad™: Typing !

bonnet: Hazah pitter’s blonde

420✌frnk✌420: stoners update: he means harry potter’s blind but autocorrect except now he’s tryna theorize who hazah pitter is anyway

tj420: this is entertaining
tj420: stay safe

420✌frnk✌420: stoners update: now they’re going to the shops to get food so i had to hang up rip

 

bonnet: You bring veubn washes
bonnet: they wont

 

bonnet left the chat

mw4y20 left the chat

smokey jim 420: :((

tj420: what

 

420✌frnk✌420: this was funny but now i’m worried
420✌frnk✌420: pete what’s happening?

pweezy420: idk i went home

smokey jim 420: ://

420✌frnk✌420: i called g and no answer

tj420: maybe they fell asleep now

smokey jim 420: ^
smokey jim 420: I’m tired I might join them

420✌frnk✌420: no what the fucks happening to them ??

pweezy420: idk prolly nothing i mean they seemed fine earlier

420✌frnk✌420: ???

smokey jim 420: goodnight guys

tj420: yeah goodnight frens
tj420: get some sleep if you can

Chapter Text

tyler joseph: hi strangers. it’s been a while but sometimes i get lonely and i think about how close we all used to be, and how much it sucks that friendships just … slip away. if this chat is meant to be revived, i have faith it will be, and if it isn't i have faith it won't be, but i just want to ask how you are?
spooky jim: Same tyler, how are you all?
Daniel Howell: cringing into the next century reading through this conversation. WHY did i think daddy shrek was a good username?
AmazingPhil: Don't worry dan, it was funny at the time. How are you guys?
Daniel Howell: yeah cause yanno my life’s a joke
spooky jim: a bit less straight than i thought i was
spooky jim: HAHAHA same.
AmazingPhil: No it’s not Dan, keep telling yourself that.
tyler joseph: phil’s right. is there something up?
Daniel Howell: just depression. it’s gotten really bad since we last spoke. i feel really low about myself.
Daniel Howell: this sounds weird but do you ever feel like you might not exist at all. or like, you’re a character or a sim. and then god or the creator just gets fucking bored with writing your life. and just like that, all the colours drain away and suddenly all the pages are a bit more frayed and all the typos are left in, and all the future you thought you had fizzles into nothing and you’re not sure your past ever happened at all. it’s like whoever's writing your story loses interest, and suddenly you’re stuck in this one rubbish moment without the page ever turning again. and then, ironically, everything you’re working on, all the stories you’ve written, all the characters you’ve created gets left behind too, because that energy you once had has gone. and you don't know if you’ll ever get it back.
spooky jim: it doesn’t sound weird, i know exactly the feeling.
tyler joseph: existence is in the mind. if you believe you have a future and you can find a purpose and believe it, both those things are real. if you imagine something hard enough, and it makes people laugh or feel less alone, is it really fiction? even if the energy isn't there that doesn't mean it’s worthless. create something, make it mean something to you and maybe others will give it their own meaning, and you might’ve found your purpose. even if you outgrow it, the things you create will still run wild in people's mind. lots of people love you, dan.
AmazingPhil: Tyler's right. Maybe try writing your story yourself, you’re in control of it, and I know it sucks now, but this doesn't have to be your life.
Daniel Howell: sorry, i'm an emotional drunk.
Daniel Howell: i think it’d just be easier to kill myself.
mikeyway: Don't do that.
tyler joseph: stay alive dan |-/
Daniel Howell: thank you
Daniel Howell: mikey! how are you, gerard and frank?
mikeyway: I’m coping as best I can. I have a girlfriend who I love. Gerard went offline. He’s struggling to cope and isn't finding what he’s looking for on social media. Frank’s in hospital. He threw himself out a window, because he couldn't cope with transphobic parents any longer. He fractured his spine, skull, ribs, legs, and some bones in his hands. He also had lots of internal bleeding, a collapsed lung and swelling to the brain. It’s been a few weeks since it happened, so he’s much more stable and seems to be quite alert, but it’s impossible to know at this stage if he’ll make a full recovery or not. We’re devastated.
Daniel Howell: fuckkkkkkkk. i'm so sorry. he’s so loved and talented, he doesn’t deserve this.
tyler joseph: i'm praying for him.
mw4y20: Neither do you Dan. Stay safe.