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The Dates of the Doctor

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“Okay, so, the Queen of England is now a Zygon but never mind that, why are we all together? Why are we all here?” Ten asked the War Doctor suspiciously. Eleven watched the scene unfolding from the corner of his eye. “Me and…Chinny  were surprised but you came looking for us. Who told you to?”

The War Doctor saw the Moment lurking behind Ten, watching over his shoulder. She gave him a smile and a nod.

“Bad Wolf Girl,” he whispered.

“Did you say Bad Wolf?” Ten twirled around to face the War Doctor and Clara could practically see his ears pricking up like a lost puppy dog.

“Yes, Bad Wolf Girl. She’s the one who brought me here. The Moment has a conscious and it took the form of someone from my past or future. I don’t recognise her so I imagine she’s something to do with one of you boys?”

“Blonde hair? About yay high?” asked Ten, indicating to his shoulder with his hand. The War Doctor nodded. “She’s…she’s Rose. Rose Tyler. My…err…” He rubbed the back of his head nervously. “My…well, she’s my—“

“She’s his girlfriend ,” Eleven finished teasingly, rolling his eyes. Clara smiled, amused at his childishness. She knew her Doctor secretly missed the effect he’d had on women during his tenth incarnation.

She was your girlfriend ?!?” the War Doctor asked incredulously, turning to look at the Moment inquisitively. The Moment shrugged nonchalantly.

“Well, he’s got great hair,” she told him, through way of explanation.

“Yes, my girlfriend! Is that so difficult to believe?” Ten was indignant.

“Well…yes. Him,” the War Doctor gestured at Eleven, “I’d understand. He’s young, pretty and smartly dressed.” Eleven straightened his bow-tie smugly. “But you, you’re wearing sandshoes!”

“Him? Have you seen his chin? He couldn’t kiss anyone, he’d have an eye out!” Ten exclaimed.

“Are you forgetting that I’m the one who married our wife?” Eleven puffed out his chest.

“Good grief! A girlfriend that pretty and a wife as well? How do you boys get anything done? Do you ever even leave 21 st century London?” the War Doctor grilled them. Ten and Eleven exchanged a guilty look.

“Why would he leave? It’s his favourite place to pick up girls,” Eleven mocked.

“Oh will you please stop, Rose was… it wasn’t like that and you know it.” Ten looked at the War Doctor. “She saved my life, saved the universe, over and over.  Now she’s saving us once again.” The Moment tossed her messy hair, fanning herself.

“Why, a girl could get a big head,” she said to the War Doctor.

My girlfriend Clara, has saved me hundreds of times…she’s saved both of you too.” Eleven muttered.

“Umm, No. No, no, no. Not your girlfriend sunshine. Just friends,” Clara interjected.

“Clara, can you—just—shh! Okay?” Eleven flushed. Ten covered a smirk with his hand.

“Just wanted to make that clear,” Clara said, with a wink in Ten’s direction. Ten smiled back.

“Oh for God’s sake,” the War Doctor exclaimed.

“Well I can’t help it,” Ten said defensively. “It’s not like I go out of my way to be a hit with the ladies. It just…happens.”

“Oh, please. You’re not exactly Cassanova ,” said Eleven.

“You literally just saw me kissing Queen Elizabeth I. Twice!”

“One of those was an alien … with suckers !” Eleven argued.

“Still, they were snogging me , not you . I’m gonna be king.”

“Well…well, at least I’m better than the Northern one!” Eleven huffed. “Those ears… the closest thing to a woman he ever pulled was Jack.”

“You’re forgetting Jackie Tyler,” Ten added.

“That wasn’t forgetting. It was repression,” Eleven wrinkled his nose.

“Oi, that’s my mum!” said the Moment, her upper-class accent slipping. “No-one upsets my mum!”

“Boys!” shouted the War Doctor. “If you can please get your testosterone levels back in check, there are pressing matters to attend to.”

“Yes, right, of course. Sorry,” said Ten.

“Sorry . , ” apologised Eleven. The War Doctor turned away, huffing out of the prison door. Clara shook her head at the two older doctors before following after him.

“Grandad,” whispered Ten, so only Eleven could hear.

“He’s just upset there’s no Grandma,” Eleven joked. With one last snicker, they left the room.