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House of Sans

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Okay, there were two things you hadn’t been aware of when she sent the message; one, the shopping would take up most of the day, and two, it was today. You needed at least a day’s notice before meeting someone new on terms that weren’t your own, especially if they were human. Given your past and what you’d seen from your own race you were naturally skeptical and skittish when it came to meeting a new person of your own species. So right now you were getting yourself worked up.

Once you had explained to YanYan and Brassberry that today was the day you were shopping they both seemed surprised, but okay with it, hell YanYan seemed to be overjoyed with the idea of it being as soon as possible. “You’ve got to let me help you with your makeup Mommy!” He let the term of endearment slip out easily, and the way he was looking at you you couldn’t say no to him.

You smile and reply, “Alight, but nothing too show-offy, I’m not looking to attract anyone on this trip. Just something simple and nice would suffice.”

YanYan rolled his eyes and huffed, “Fine. Next time you go out though I’m pulling all the stops with your look.” His voice told you that he wouldn’t take no for an answer so instead you just go to the closet and grab some new clothes, which were practically identical to the ones you were wearing now, same white fluffy sweater and black jogging pants, only difference being they were a little bit bigger. If you were meeting someone knew you were going to feel as comfortable as possible dammit.

By the time you’d changed and put on your shoes YanYan had assembled everything he deemed necessary for your non-show-offy makeover; mascara, eyeliner, light smokey blue eyeshadow, and some light shade of lipstick that complimented your skin tone rather well. You must admit that you were impressed at the bitties ability to orchestrate such things in such a small amount of time. “Okay Mommy, sit here, and do what I tell you! I’ll have you looking almost as fabulous as me in not time!~” YanYan exclaimed happily.

YanYan was so cute when he was in his element, if only he was this cute all the time. Actually he reminded you a lot of a cat, very sassy and demanding a lot of the time but cute and adorable in his own way and even sweet at times. You wouldn’t even doubt that he’d hesitate to use his claws either whenever he deemed necessary.

It took twenty minutes for a ‘quick’ touch-up. YanYan was very fussy when it came to makeup, and everything had to be absolutely perfect otherwise he’d start from scratch. Not to mention you had a thing about things near your eyes so that made the whole eyeliner bit a living hell. “Mother, I swear if you make me mess up one more time I’m going to use my magic to fucking hold you still!” He exclaimed frustratedly after you had jerked in response to the eyeliner once again.

You had no doubt he wouldn’t either so you did your absolute best to keep still through the remainder of the torture. “Annnd there we go!” He proclaims happily. “You look simply stunning Mother! That wasn’t so bad was it?”

You decide to just smile back as your ‘reply’ and look into the mirror. You really did look nice, not too flashy, but the makeup helped bring out your natural beauty and features. “Thank you YanYan. It looks lovely!” You praise as he finishes placing the makeup back into its respective places.

He blushes an orange-red color and replies, “it was my pleasure Mommy.”

You turn to Brassberry with a bright smile. “What do you think Brassberry?”

He turns a shade of teal and sputters a bit before answering. “It’s, uh, I mean you look… really pretty Momma,” he manages to say.

Beaming you offer him your hand and he climbs up without hesitation. You bring him to your face and give him a small kiss on his little cheek, careful not to use to much force or hurt the little guy. “That’s very sweet of you, Brassberry, now I believe it’s getting around the time we’re supposed to be meeting Alphys. YanYan?” You call out, not noticing the completely enamored skeleton in your palm.

“Over here, where you left me,” he huffs from the vanity. You quickly apologize and pick him up as well.

“Now there’s the problem of where to put you. I don’t want you on my shoulder because you can fall, and I don’t want you in my pocket because you can be squished,” you think a moment before realizing a safe place you could put them, though it might be a little embarrassing for them. “How about here?”

Using your unoccupied hand you fix your sweater’s neckline in such a way that it exposes a decent amount of cleavage, which wasn’t too hard considering this one was fair deal larger than the other. Both bitties blushed their respective colors and looked away, but they hesitantly nodded. “Don’t worry you’ll get used to it, besides think about it like this, you’re protecting me from any perverts who might try and cup a feel while we’re out shopping,” you tell them enthusiastically, trying to get them to be more comfortable with the idea.

“Cup a WHAT?!” Brassberry shouts from his breast perch, almost growling.

“Cup a feel, y’know try and touch me in places, like my tits, without my permission. It happens more often than people would like to admit,” You respond.

“Not while I’m with you!” They both asserted. Okay, listen learned, bitties are territorial over ‘Mommy’ and will get overly protective when a threat is mentioned.

You decided to drop that conversation for now and head downstairs. The Sans’s were all still asleep, Alphys had wanted to get an early start, so you left a note explaining everything, including the bitties just in case they wandered out of your room. After grabbing a random magnet you stuck it to the fridge and then proceeded to walk out the door.

It was a somewhat crisp morning, not cold but not yet warm either, you liked it. The bitties nuzzled closer to your breasts, whether to get warm or just because they wanted to be closer to you you could not discern. You stand just outside the house twiddling your fingers nervously. Now, you may think it’s stupid to be so worried about today’s confrontation, but your last human interaction didn’t go so well.

You were just nervous to try having any type of relationship with another one of your kind after what had happened. Still, if Alphys thought they were okay then you supposed the least you could do is try… despite the fear you feel inside. You owed at least that much to her.

You weren’t sure how long you waited, minutes, hours? It felt like it. Wallowing in your fears and self-doubt of ever being able to make friends with a human because of your awkwardness and social ineptitude brought on you by your years of abuse and lack of contact with the outside world. Even so the time did eventually come when you saw Alphys’ vehicle coming towards you slowly, and dread ran through your veins.

You did your best to keep smiling and will away all of your doubt and pessimism as the vehicle pulled to a stop in the driveway. You began to breath in and out slowly, you could do this, you’d done worse! Just keep calm and don’t let your fear take control of you!

After your mental pep talk you step forwards a bit and Alphys notices you with a smile and a wave. “Hello, ----! Climb in, we’ve got to get to Mettaton before he gets impatient,” she says looking down at the time on the dash. You then notice the other person in the car who is looking at you with an interested stare, but they're smiling warmly and waving as well… you’re not sure how to feel about them yet.

Understanding the hurry you do a quick wave back and, not wanting to cause further delay, you rush to the car and get in as quick as possible. As you catch your breath you notice the features of the person sitting with you in the back. They are wearing a hoodie with a tank top underneath from what you can tell, a pair of jeans that has been worn often, and older scuffed sneakers. The whole ensemble seems to say ‘fuck your fashion, I’ll keep my comfort’, you could respect that.

Now came the part you were dreading most, conversation. You decide to instigate it, because this would work out so well. Your entire persona gives off a confusing and conflicting aura of anxiety and happiness as you smile warmly and begin to speak. “So I’m ----, but I guess you already know that from Alphys shouting it out the window,” you laugh nervously before continuing, “and these two lovely gentlemen here,” you point to your bosom and the two little skellies currently residing there, “are my escorts for this evening. Oh, and if you’re wondering why they are riding the “booby express” I didn’t want to stick them in my pocket and this seemed like the safest option….. Don’t judge me,” you begin to realize that this ‘conversation’ has entirely consisted of you spewing out random gibberish and gives an awkward smile. “Sorry, I’ve been rambling, I’ll just shut up now and let you talk…… uhhhh I’m sorry I don’t even know your name.”

YanYan shakes his head at his socially inept Owner… well what she lacked in that area she made up for in determination and sheer stubbornness that was for certain. Still he was embarrassed to be apart of this situation.

Brassberry isn’t really paying attention to what’s being said he is more focused on protecting ----, he kept his eyes on this new person from his, very comfortable, position, he is on edge but also happy to be this close to ----… especially this part of her…. His pervert levels increase by one.

The person responds kindly enough. “Well, in an ironic turn of events, you and I share the same name. People just call me Wheatley, though. This is Al,” they say pointing at her v-neck, “Curly and Teacup,” gestures at both shoulders, “and Violet,” they say with a thumb to her hood. “I’m going to guess that heart eyes McPervert is a Brassberry, and the other one is… I think a Yanyan. I looked all the bitty stuff up this morning over breakfast, so…” They trail off a bit, their voice held a light tone to it to show they meant no harm by the teasing. “Anyways, how are the Sans-- Sans-es-- how are the skeletons treating you? I’ll have to deal with Underlust Sans’s Papyrus sometime in the next few days… that should be fun.”

You smile at their sarcastic attitude and giggle at their teasing, you might just like this Wheatley. Just then Al spoke up in a calm tone. “The folder said tomorrow, for all three of them.” While his tone is calm you can tell that he is clearly sizing everyone up, so to speak, though you don’t blame him, you didn’t trust strangers easily either.

All their other bitties seemed to be forcing themselves, except Violet who was just asleep, to remain quiet and mostly restrained, possibly another trust issue? You could understand that, you were feeling a little overwhelmed by all of this yourself to be perfectly honest, but you were a little more excited about things now.

“The Sans’s are very nice to me, well more than nice actually, they’re a lot like highschool boys around their crush. They all have vastly different personalities and nicknames to match them! Red- like the color he’s passionate, dangerous, fiery, Blue- cool, calm, lazy, Blueberry- sweet, adorable, innocent but not completely, Science- smart, loves to do experiments, easily flustered, Actor- passionate, gentlemanly, old-fashioned, loves Shakespeare, like a LOT, G- which doesn’t say much, when he does it’s always very… well sensual and flirtatious,  Hip Hop- shy, loves to dance, sweet, Daddy- Underlust Sans, he’s very outspoken and rude, and Skullface- he’s got a tough exterior, likes to observe things, he likes singing and dancing though not as much as Hip Hop, and he only just got interested in me recently after watching me during a late night instant noodle musical number,” you giggle a bit at that memory. “So overall things have been great! Oh sorry, I got off on a tangent there without introducing my bitties, it’s been awhile since I’ve had an interaction with a decent human being so you’ll have to pardon my awkwardness,” you rub the back of your neck and smile softly. “These two are indeed Brassberry and YanYan, from what I know Brassberry can be a bit possessive, and YanYan is as well, but these guys seem comfortable enough right now. Though, I am not responsible for anything YanYan might say-”

Without any warning, YanYan decided to prove your point right then and there with his attitude problem. He looks at Wheatley’s clothes before making a gagging sound and motion with his hand, and in the most bitchiest tone he could possibly manage he starts his little outburst. “UGH! Did you even look in a mirror before coming out this morning? Not like my owner is much better, but at least I gave her a hand and made sure she put on some makeup to make up for her lack-luster fashion choices! But don’t worry honey, that’s what this trip is for after all, to update those things you call clothes,” he gave a cute smile that screamed passive-aggressive bitch.

Your face flushes and you immediately regret your decision to allow him to come. Wheatley was bound to hate you now, your odds at friendship zero percent. Friend train derailed by a couple inches of bitchiness.

Brassberry had hid his face after the whole ‘McPervert’ thing, but now he popped back up to growl at his brother, a clear warning to behave or he would make him behave, this kind of behavior was not unusual of his sibling, but it was causing ---- distress which was something he would NOT tolerate.

Curley and Teacup both seem pretty peeved at the insults just hurled at their caretaker. While Curley was better at keeping his protests hidden, Teacup seemed ready to have an all out bitch-out with YanYan. The only thing that held him back was Al who glanced at him in warning. Hell, even Al seemed fairly on-edge in comparison to what you’d seen a few seconds prior, but he was doing very well at hiding it, in fact you probably wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t so observant to the small details.

Wheatley snorts, seemingly amused by YanYan’s snark. “Oh, believe me honey, I did. I go by a strict rule of “I don’t give a fuck as long as it’s comfy,” so you can take two steps back into your sassy little self,” they deadpan before turning their attention back to you. “Don’t worry; all bitties are sentient, so if they talk shit they’ll have to deal with whatever happens afterwards. Luckily for Sassy McSmall, I don’t give half a fuck what he thinks about my outfit.”

You breath a sigh of relief, friendship chances are still good you can salvage this! “Don’t think it’s just you either, he’s a bit of a drama queen. I think he lives to start shit, but he’s nice? In his own way, I mean he tries to help, even if he is a bitch about it,” you tell them.

In response to all of this YanYan huffs indignantly and pouts, well then he’d just keep quiet the rest of this ride, not like he wanted to talk to Trashy McBitchtits anyway, for extra measure he stuck his tongue out before looking away and refusing to look in their direction. Meanwhile Brassberry laughs at how YanYan was outsassed by this new human and decides almost immediately afterwards that he likes them. He wouldn’t mind ----- hanging around them for awhile.

Wheatley smiles warmly and nods their agreement. “Sounds like me in High School, freshman year. College is where it’s at, though; you actually meet folks with the same mindset. It’s fantastic, I’d definitely recommend it,” they say jovially.

Teacup appears to want to say something but is shot down once again by Al. You tried to ignore it but it bothered you, you didn’t like seeing others being influenced even if it was for their protection. Maybe Al would trust you at some point and this wouldn’t be a problem? You hoped so… it reminded you to much of…. You didn’t want to finish that thought.

Before anyone else says anything Alphys interrupts. “S-so, i-i-is everyone buckled up now?” She sounds nervous and is glancing at the dash while fidgeting around. She clearly doesn’t want to be late.

Fuck, that’s right a buckle, the thing that keeps you from dying, you needed to do that still. You buckle, making sure not to squish either bitty by the shoulder strap. “I think we’re all good now, if we have a wreck my boobs should soften the blow for Brassy and YanYan,” you say jokingly with a smile and a wink.

Well, if we die we die happy at least, they both think to themselves. They are fine with this situation, though YanYan is still pissy.

Wheatley snorts. “They’re gonna get boobed to death if we crash,” they remark, voice showing their amusement.

Whether Alphys hears this or not she doesn’t react to it. “A-alright, let’s go!!!” With that she takes the car out of park and peels out of the driveway and off towards the mall.