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House of Sans

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“Um…. I can explain,” you begin timidly, feeling like a deer caught in headlights.

Skullface chuckles deeply and walks over next to you, can a person’s heart explode out of their chests? “Nothin’ to explain, kitten,” he replies, “ya thought ya were alone, but your siren was just too tempting for this button man to ignore.”

While you weren’t quite sure what a ‘button man’ was you could easily conclude that it was probably mob lingo and most likely meant his job. He was pretty close now and you could feel the air getting thicker between the two of you. Was it getting hotter in here?                                                                                                                                          
“Nothin’ ta be ashamed about neither, beautiful. That was nothing short of amazin’,” he praises.

God if you were embarrassed before you were fucking devastated now! His tone was so debonair, it sent chills down your spine and heat to your core. Fuck, if you didn’t find a way to turn this situation away from where it was inevitably heading should he be allowed to continue, you would find yourself with another skeleton inside you a hell of a lot sooner than anticipated! “Uh, thank you,” you respond wriggling your hands together nervously trying to think on the spot.

He was close to you now and you felt your legs turn to jello as they refused to move. Please, dear whatever being may be listening, don’t let this be the part where you fall, you weren’t ready for this yet! “L-listen Skullface I’m flattered but-” “Shh.” He places a boney finger to your lips stopping you mid-sentence. “I ain’t gonna do nothin’ just yet sweetheart. I’m more of a gentlebones, myself and want to win your affections before doing anything off-color.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding up til now, when he takes your hand delicately, as one might take a fragile flower, and brings it to his teeth, his magic forming lips to kiss it for a brief moment before releasing it. This guy was so fucking smooth he could probably make panties drop just with a look. “G’night doll, I’ll leave ya to it. Sweet dreams an’ all that,” he says with a wink before walking off.

“Uh… you too,” you reply rather awkwardly, still flustered about the entire situation.

He stops and turns to respond with a grin. “Oh, babe, I will certainly have sweet dreams tonight,” he winked before continuing up the stairs and out of sight.

Did he just, oh my god he did! He basically came out and said he was going to be having those kinds of dreams about you! Your cheeks flush red and your heart pounds like a drum inside your chest, how could a guy you just met make you this flustered so easily!?

You mumble under your breath words that should never be said by anyone, much less a young lady. You head on over to your noodles and notice that a good two-thirds of the cup is missing. “What the hell!?” You exclaim angrily. “I just made those who the fuck ate my fucking noodles fucking motherfucker!”

You face-palm and drag your hand slowly across your face in frustration. “UGH! Fine, whatever, don’t need to eat this late at night anyway,” you grumble tossing the remaining noodles in the trash and the fork in the sink. Like hell were you going to eat them after somebody else touched it!

You head upstairs stomach grumbling and you pat it in a half-hearted attempt to appease it. “I know you’re hungry bud, but somebody ate our food, so beddy-bye time for us.”

It growls almost as if in complaint, “well sorry pal, but that’s how the cookie crumble’s.”

You make it to your room and open the door, sauntering over to bed, taking off your clothes and tossing them aside, save for your underwear. You set your phone on the stand beside the bed and flop down. You pull the sheets up over you, ignoring the protests of your tummy. “The sooner I get to bed the sooner I can wake up and make myself breakfast,” you mumble closing your eyes.

Sleep did not come easily, but you would be damned if you were going to open your eyes or move and make things even harder on yourself. Why was it when you were happy and content sleep came like a thief in the night, but when you needed it most it was elusive as a handful of sand, whatever the fuck that meant, it was something your granny used to say. You guessed it had something to do with how sand always slips between your fingers and so you can never really have a handful of it, but you could be wrong, fuck knows you have been wrong before. At any rate you hated sand, it was coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere! Crotch sand was the worst! God, you cringe at the memory of your first trip to the beach when a wave pushed you ashore and filled your bikini bottom with the stuff.

Your weird train of thought was derailed by a sudden sound, a soft pitter-patter, much like that of something very small moving about. You weren’t new to rats or mice so you could recognize the soft noises their pads make as they skitter across the floor. You wonder if you should invest in non-kill traps, even if there are pests in the house you still didn’t feel right about killing a living creature, they could feel just the same as you could after all.

More noises followed, sounded like there could be a family, there were hushed sounds that almost sounded like whispering, maybe it was sniffing or grunting… do mice grunt? You weren’t a fucking biologist, how the hell should you know?! You really want to get up and try and sneak a peek to see how many mice you were dealing with, but you really didn’t feel like it, besides you were almost asleep.

Sleep finally overtook you and you were thankful that you could no longer feel the hunger pains from your stomach. You were going to beat the shit out of whoever took your noodles!



“Shhh, guys!” A gruff voice whispers harshly. “Poppy, can you please handle Punny and Pumpkin while YanYan and I get something soft for us to lay on?”

One of the taller ones of the group nodded and went over to the smallest two. He seemed to have a natural talent for handling the smaller ones as they almost immediately calmed by his presence. He sat down on the floor and let the smallest, a small male skeleton in an orange parka and black shorts with white stripes and snow booties, lay his head in his lap. He stroked his hood gently, “C’mon we’ll be okay, you know Brassberry will always look out for us right?”                                                                                     
The little head in his lap nodded, but continued to whimper ever so slightly. The other small one, a purple-pink bunny dressed in brown booties and blue pants, his torso was a light brown color making it appear as though he were wearing a sweater. His little nose twitched as he scampered over to sit beside the smallest one. While he was unable to speak he could think and form cohesive thoughts as well as any of the others.
“Look, even Punny is looking out for you,” Poppy says cheerfully.

Poppy was wearing a long purple sweater and pink and purple striped pattern scarf that was nearly as long as he was tall. He wore long blue pants and had some nice black winter boots on. The little one only nodded, but his whimpering had quieted to nearly inaudible levels. “I promise things will get better Pumpkin,” Poppy reassures gently.

A few feet away, but what may have well been several yards away for them, was Brassberry and YanYan. “Look a vanity!” YanYan exclaims.

Brassberry rolls his eyes, leave it to his fashionista of a brother to find a vanity within the first few minutes of being in a room. Hell, he had his custom made minx coat on top of his silk pajamas, YanYan had been sleeping when Brassberry had woken him up to go check out a weird portal thing that a couple of smaller bitties had managed to get themselves sucked into. It took some convincing, but ultimately his brother agreed once Brassberry brought up the fact that ‘mom’ might give them a reward for being so good. YanYan could never turn down material objects, especially shiny ones. “That’s real cool bro, now help me figure out how we’re going to sleep tonight,” Brassberry responds trying to be patient.

YanYan sighs at his brother’s stupidity. “No, simpleton, the vanity is the answer!”

“I don’t see how makeup and lipstick is gonna help here,” Brassberry replies.

YanYan makes a shrill noise of frustration, sometimes his brother was so thick-skulled it amazed even him! Not that it was hard to imagine anyway, the way he dressed, like a freaking homeless biker, in an old leather jacket and white t-shirt with leather pants and black biker boots, blegh, disgusting! “Not the makeup! The makeup accessories!” YanYan tries to explain as he teleports up to the top of the vanity.

His brother follows suit, though still confused, “What, you mean like jewelry?”

“No!” YanYan let’s out an exasperated sigh as he uses his magic to open the drawers. “Any true makeup artist will have more than just your ordinary blush and eyeliner! Some of the makeup requires a special tool, a sponge, AHA!”

Just like that YanYan levitated a large rectangular sponge out of the drawer before closing it. “This will be good enough to lay on, it’s no custom bed, but it will have to do. You know, I think I wouldn’t mind having this new lady as our new mother. She sings pretty well, has a clear love for beautiful things, and she clearly needs help with her wardrobe and I I could definitely help her out there!” YanYan said smiling.

Brassberry was more wary and cautious when it came to trusting new people, he didn’t give it out easily. “I don’t know, maybe, but I want to get to know her a bit before making any decisions.” He says rubbing the back off his skull.

His head wound needed to be cleaned, and YanYan seemed to notice this as he reopened the drawer and found some alcohol and cotton swabs, stating that some makeup was really stubborn. Whatever the case, it was much appreciated as Brassberry couldn’t get the cap off the bottle quickly enough. He had to break the seal as well, apparently this was a brand new bottle, but it was well worth it once he got the swab soaked in it and cleaned out his wound. He’d have to re-use the bandage for now but at least his wound would be clean!
“I’ll take this down to the others. You just put that up when you’re done, don’t need her to get suspicious. We’ll be under the vanity, it’s easier to hide under there,” YanYan told his brother as he grabbed the sponge and teleported.

After a long session of scrubbing, Brassberry replaced the items in the drawer and shut it once again. He was about to go to the others when he heard a vibrating noise and saw a light across the room on a table beside the bed, a phone?

The sleeping form of the woman stirred but didn’t wake as the phone quieted, Brassberry fiddled with his hands for a bit before gathering up the courage to go over and investigate. This would be a good opportunity to learn more about her. He would be lying if he didn’t say he was the least bit curious. The way she sang, the way she interacted with monsters, the way she moved, there was just something about her.                                                                                                                                                
As he appeared next to the phone and touched the screen he saw that it was a text message, throwing caution to the win he checked it.


Hello, -----, it’s me. Look, we both know that what happened was a long time coming, you should have seen the signs. I mean, me, the guy with like what, fucking three close friends, going out every night with the guys? No. I was with her 90% of the time, but can you blame me? I’m a guy, and I have needs like every other man on this fucking planet, but where you meetin’ ‘em? No. You were a goddamn prude, the most I ever got from you was a blow job, and that got real old real fast. Look, I like ya, you know that, that’s why I’m being upfront about all this, if you don’t start puttin’ out you’ll never find a man that’ll want ya. That bein’ said I still care about ya, I care about ya a lot. And I don’t like what I’ve been hearing about you through the grapevine.

----,----,---- working for monsters? That is low, but I know it’s ‘cuz ya had nowhere else to go, and I’ll be the bigger person here and admit that might be my fault. So, I’ve been talking with Decymber about it, and we’ve decided we’d be willing to add you as a third. You’d be living with me again and I’d take care of ya like I used to, but in return you’d have to participate in our late night activities.

But, isn’t that a better alternative than what you are in now? I mean, you can’t possibly enjoy your current situation. Could you? Because, y’know bad things happen to people who keep close company with monsters, especially when they’ve been warned to stay away.

I’ll give you a few days to think it over, but if I don’t hear back within a week… well I’m not responsible for anything that might happen to your lovely person.

Brassberry could feel his anger boiling over. What the fuck was this guy’s problem?! He was threatening her into sex because what, she was working with, and being genuinely nice to, monsters?! He had to learn more about this guy.


Please, darling, let’s just talk this through! I’m not mad at you for cheating, I’m not mad at you at all. Please, let me back in the house Bel.




It’s not that i even care about whether or not you are mad ----. It’s that I am DONE with this relationship. I can’t keep coming home every night to to some prude who for years now hasn’t let me touch her sexually! It’s frustrating and I don’t give a shit about whether or not you want to ‘save yourself’ until you feel like the moment is right or whatever other bullshit you pull out of your ass! I AM DONE! Decymber is coming over in an hour to move in her stuff and so help me if you’re still out there crying outside in the hall I’m going to fucking beat you! I don’t care where you go, I just want you to get the fuck away from my goddamn apartment and stop causing a scene! You already have your damn phone and I fucking paid the bill for it this month, so shove off! Or I can always call the boys to come and take you and show you around town?!




No. I’ll go, I’m sorry, Bel.

That was the last messages that were saved in the phone’s memory, and Brassberry was gritting his teeth so hard he feared he might break them. “Shit. Looks like she’s gone through some tough shit in her life too,” he says returning the phone to the home screen and turning it off.

Maybe it was because she’d gone through a lot in her short time as well that made Brassberry feel closer to the sleeping human before him. “Man, to think I actually thought she could have some ulterior motive,” Brassberry said as he rubbed his skull. “I feel like a real jerk.”

Brassberry sighs and shakes his head. He couldn’t change the past, but he could alter the future. “Don’t worry, nothing bad’s goin’ to happen to ya, not if I have anyhing to say about it.” He wasn’t much for promises, but for some reason, he was going to make an exception for her.

“G’night, -----, see ya in the mornin’,” Brassberry whispered under his breath before teleporting down to the floor.

For the first time in a long time, Brassberry was excited for what the future might hold.