Darkness. One day Ichimatsu wakes up feeling nothing but darkness inside him. His former self no longer there, having been swallowed up by this new person who he doesn’t recognize, doesn’t bring himself to see. He wonders when this started, could this change have been caused by the sudden change brought up by their high school debut. His brothers were growing apart, each of them searching for individualism in a copy-coded world. And Ichimatsu hates it. Hates not being able to sit with all of his brothers around the lunch table like they’d done all through elementary and middle school. Osomatsu’s with the loud obnoxious group, Karamatsu with the drama club, Choromatsu with the idol lovers, and Todomatsu was with the “popular” kids. The only things he still has were his beloved stray cats, baseball, and Jyuushimatsu.
Jyuushimatsu is sunshine incarnated. He’s the motivation that keeps Ichimatsu from just wallowing in bed, not getting up, not doing anything. He wonders where he’d be without Jyuushimatsu giving his life meaning, hope.
Today is one of those days when he has to pry his eyes open as the light from the window affects his sensitive eyes even behind their protective lids. He opens them and is even more blinded by the smiling face in front of him. Some people would think being awoken by wide, unblinking eyes and a face-splitting smile is a little terrifying, but Ichimatsu can only release a sigh of relief. He’s still here. He’d had a dream that something terrible had happened to Jyuushimatsu and he’d lost that beautiful smile on his face. The last thing he’d ever want is to see Jyuushimatsu in the position he’d seen in his dreams. Arms wrapped around bent knees, smacking his head against the wall, blood and tears running down his face, sobs like nails clawing at his heart.
“Good morning, Nii-san!” His voice is a little too loud for such an early hour but to Ichimatsu it’s the best part of waking up.
“Morning.” He mumbles and rubs at the sleepiness in his eye before Jyuushimatsu throws himself at him.
“We have a game today! Our very first game!!”
“Yeah, yeah. I know. Make sure you don’t forget your uniform.” He pulls himself into a sitting position, Jyuushimatsu still slung over him haphazardly.
“I already have it on!” He says proudly as he unbuttons a bit of his school uniform to reveal the bright yellow fabric. “Aren’t you proud, Nii-san?! I remembered all on my own.”
“Of course.” He gently pets his head and moves to stand, Jyuushimatsu quickly getting the message, rolling off him and springing onto his feet to offer his hand.
“Let’s get you ready!” The younger moves to pull the other’s sleeping garment, but a firm hand on his wrist stops him immediately.
“Who’s the younger one here? Go eat your breakfast while I get changed.” His voice was assertive to keep no room for argument and Jyuushimatsu only salutes in understanding before swaying out of the room.
As soon as he leaves the room, Ichimatsu feels the change instantly. The previously bright room is now a dull counterfeit. The warmth dissipates without a trace, leaving only cold emptiness in its wake. The fluttering butterflies in his heart have become a rampant swarm of wasps agitating him from the inside out. He falls almost lifelessly onto the ground, motivation completely drained from him until he hears the younger brother’s voice once more.
“Hurry up, Nii-san! Morning practice will start soon!!” He struggles back up this time and begins to remove his pajamas. The linger of Jyuushimatsu’s hands still there and he shivers without realizing it. This tiny memento is enough to get him through this morning at least.
As soon as they step into school, Ichimatsu is called away by one of the few teachers who arrives at this early hour. His math teacher needs to speak to him about a concern so Ichimatsu is forced to pry himself away from his brother and waves a slightly less energetic Jyuushimatsu off as he follows his teacher to the office.
He knows what this is about before the teacher even opens his mouth. He’s failing math. It’s the only subject he’s absolutely terrible with, and even with countless tutoring sessions from his other brothers, he’s never been able to grasp the concept. He listens to the teacher ramble about how he’s ruining his future by not trying to bring up his grade and Ichimatsu almost laughs, if it wasn’t for the fact that the teacher would probably give him a tongue lashing and maybe have him sit out for tonight’s game. He doesn’t think about the future, doesn’t have any hopes or dreams to speak of. Getting kicked out of school or anything of the sort would only rid him of one less burden.
“Well, Matsuno. That’s it. Go find your brother before he’s late for class.” He’s dismissed and moves faster than the teacher expects from him. If he hurries, he should be able to reach Jyuushimatsu just as the other steps out of the club room. He makes it to the door as the other’s are filing out, completely ignoring him. Not that he cares. He didn’t join the team for the lifelong comradery. He joined for Jyuushimatsu.
The last person to walk out actually stops before Ichimatsu. The guy isn’t particularly memorable to Ichimatsu so he can’t even ask what he wants. Thankfully the other teammate speaks first.
“Matsuno, Jyuushi isn’t in there.” His voice is low and curt. No to sound rude but like he’s keeping a dark secret and Ichimatsu feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention.
“Did he already go to class?” He rasps out. His throat is dry from the sudden panic, and also the disuse since leaving his brother’s side.
The other only shakes his head. He keeps his line of sight away from Ichimatsu as he continues to speak again. “The guys. I told them not to. But they threatened me too.” His voice begins to shake as his eyes glisten. Ichimatsu doesn’t care about his feelings just about what he’s insinuated. He grabs his collar to get the other to face him.
“Where. Is. He?” His voice cracks several time within that small question and his hands are starting to shake from lack of answer, so he tightens his hold on the guy in front of him to get him to focus.
“By the dugout.” Ichimatsu releases him right away and sprints to the baseball field. He hears the other shout a, “sorry” but doesn’t go out of his way to acknowledge him. There’s only one thing on his mind and it’s Jyuushimatsu. There’s a million different situations of what they could have done to his younger brother. Did they just tease him, rough him up a little, got physical, did they ra- No. Ichimatsu shook his head as he made it to his destination, calling out to his brother though he was out of breath. He hears whimpering and makes his way over to the source of the noise.
Jyuushimatsu is on his side, huddled up into a ball, pristine yellow uniform slightly stained of dirt and blood, helmet just as ruined by his side. He fell onto his knees and pulled his younger brother close to him. The other allowed himself to be moved, though there were tiny noises of disagreement as his stiff body was moved and he was able to feel the freshness of his bruises. He also let go of the items in his hand. Ichimatsu instantly recognized the items as his own mitt and baseball bat.
“I didn’t let them get to Nii-san’s bat and mitt, but I couldn’t save the helmet. I’m sorry.” His voice’s so tiny and frail, a complete one-eighty from this morning. The helmet had all kind of slurs and insults scratched and written on it but the bat seemed to be in good condition.
“It’s fine. Who cares about a stupid helmet and bat.” As long as you’re okay. He begins to pet Jyuushimatsu’s head and notices the blood. “We need to get you to the nurse’s office and have them call mom and dad.” He doesn’t have his phone with him because he never made a habit of using it since he was usually with Jyuushimatsu or one of his brothers. He shifts the younger a bit and heaves him up with Jyuushimatsu securely in his arms. His pace is quick as he makes it to the school building and into the nurse’s office. Classes have started so thankfully the halls are empty of people who would ogle and start rumors.
The nurse gives a gasp of shock when the two walk in. She’s a nice person and one of the few Ichimatsu would trust his brother with in this moment.
“Ichimatsu-kun, what happened?” She leads Ichimatsu to the empty bed and as soon as he can place his brother down, she begins to inspect him.
“That’s not important right now.” He huffs, breathing erratic and body sweating profusely. He’s not exactly strong and Jyuushimatsu has never been light with all of the exercising he does.
“Of course it is. Was he jumped? Is this a case of bullying?”
“It doesn’t matter!” His voice is loud and sharp, ringing through the empty room and startling the nurse and himself. He regains his composure and begins again. “Just make sure he gets help and call our parents.” He begins to walk away, however reluctant because there’s some business that needs to be handle .
“And where are you going?” She asks, though doesn’t try to stop him. Most of her focus has turned to the ailing brother.
“To finish what they started.”
I realized this was in the present tense after I'd already finished it so I decided to leave it lol
Let me know what you think!
I'm on twitter @understadingm
“I'm not asking you to love me back.”
I worked really hard to get this chapter out today because I start my hell semester tomorrow and I made it with 15 minutes to spare woo-hoo!! I had the idea of this replaying in my mind and the quote was actually what started this whole story lol
I wrote this in an hour and a half maybe? And my only beta is myself so I hope it's not too bad since I'm exhausted right now
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
He goes to the club room because he believes it’ll call less attention for what he has planned. He finds Jyuushimatsu’s bag and rummages through it to find his brother’s phone. Feeling impatient, he tips the bag over and dumps out all of the contents. The phone clatters as it hits the floor and he unlocks it quickly to open the group chat.
“SOS meet in the clubroom”
There’s a bing almost instantly. Karamatsu. Of course he would be the first to reply
K: What’s wrong, brother?
O: Got yrself stuck while jerkin off, Jyuushi? Ask Ichi for help.
T: How scandalous! (ʘᗩʘ’)
C: Stop texting during class!
O: Y’d you answr then (≧∇≦)/
J: Not jyuushi. Ichi. The team jumped him and they need to pay.
O: WTFFFFFFF omw
K: My dearest Jyuushimatsu has been injured. See you soon.
T: OMG, I’ll be right there
C: Shit. I’m coming too
As Ichimatsu waits for his brother so they can come up with some sort of plan, he begins to pick up all of the things that had fallen from his brother’s bag. Jyuushimatsu sure had a lot of junk in here. There are books, his clothes, sneakers, a few snacks, school supplies, and several crumpled papers. Ichimatsu is suspicious of them, so he careful opens one up, careful not to rip it and is disgusted by the contents. In big, bold letters are the words “FAG”. He moves on to another paper and then another, all having a slur similar to those on his helmet.
He crumples the paper and brings it close to him. This is all his fault. If it hadn’t been for him, this wouldn’t have happened. He’s known he’s gay for a while now. Girls never called his attention and he wasn’t good at faking, even to fit in with the team members, but he didn’t think they would think the same of Jyuushimatsu. He was too good for those kinds of things.
He sits there silently fuming. He stands as the door jingles open, bat in hand, just in case its not one of his brothers. Thankfully it is them. All of them show up together, catching their breaths, Totty and Osomatsu bending over from the exertion.
“Tell me exactly what the fuck happened.” Osomatsu orders with a snarl. Ichimatsu knows instantly that he means business.
“The guys on the team found out I’m gay and Jyuushimatsu tried to protect my shit from vandalism. They beat him until he was almost unconscious.” He grabs on tightly to the two items. Jyuushimatsu should have just left them and run away. But he knew, knew how much he’d saved to get them. He’s had both since he was a middle schooler. He feels sick because this is all his fault. For being gay. For thinking that people wouldn’t care. For putting Jyuushimatsu’s life in danger.
“Who gives a fuck if you’re gay.” Osomatsu breaks the awkward silence. “You’re still as anti-social as ever. You’re still the same person. You’re still our brother.” He places his hands on Ichimatsu’s shoulders and gives him a wide grin. Ichi feels genuinely touched, especially when he looks behind the oldest to see three identical, accepting expressions.
“Y-you guys…” His voice wavers and feels like he can break down at any moment. He’d never realized how loved he actually is.
A reassuring squeeze on the shoulder is all the confirmation he needs to know his feelings to got across. He takes a deep breath and Osomatsu backs away, facing all of them with a determined expression. “Let’s go fuck up some assholes!” His brothers shout in agreement and they plan out their attack.
They wait inside the club room until lunch starts. Choromatsu received a call from their parents asking if he knew of the incident, but he was able to honesty deny any involvement of any other brothers. Although their mother was worried, she seemed to calm knowing that her other children were left unscathed and promised to update Jyuushimatsu’s condition as soon as it became known to her.
The door opens and this time Ichimatsu is more prepared, makeshift weapon in hand as he waits for the perpetrators to enter the room. There are 14 players on the team, not including himself or his brother. Half of the team are second years, 5 other first years and 7 third years. The captain, a kind brother type had been absent recently due to a family illness, and the guy who had warned Ichimatsu of the incident never spent any free time with the other seniors.
That leaves 5 guys, the 5 Ichimatsu knows were involved in what happen to Jyuushimatsu, from the bullying to the physical assault. They were evenly matched. However, the one thing the brothers had going for them is that they’ve known each other for so long, they would be able to read each other’s moves and use them to their advantage. Which is exactly what happens when the group starts walking into the room, vice captain, the obvious ring leader entering first, followed by 2 random third years who were promptly tripped by a line that Choromatsu and Todomatsu held up at just the right moment. With the two falling, it made room for Karamatsu and Osomatsu to attack the final surprised pair with well-timed tackles.
The leader startles and sees the mess caused to his teammates. The two oldest keep their targets pinned to the ground while Todomatsu and Choromatsu work on tying the pair together with rope they found laying around.
The leader tries backing away but that’s when Ichimatsu pops up out of nowhere and swings his bat against the back of his knees. Not enough to break, but enough to disable. His control is impressive to all of the brothers since they’re all witnesses of the bloodthirst radiating the fourth’s eyes.
These guys were going to pay. And they would regret ever laying a filthy finger on his brother.
The five brothers make the trip from their school to the hospital in relative silence. They decided to forgo the rest of their classes to visit their brother who would be fine, they were told by their mother. They took care of their brother’s attacker with threats and well-placed attacks. The others surrendered to their demands once one of them had been knocked out by Todomatsu's slaps, he was trying to undo his knot and accidentally kicked the sixth brother who had been by his side guarding him. They agreed to leave the team, if it meant they would be left unharmed. And eventually, after a special type of convincing, the ring leader swore he would change schools and no one would know of his disgusting display of human ignorance.
Ichimatsu shudders as he again notices his sweatshirt which had been splattered by the guy’s filthy blood.
Choromatsu notices, and being the worry wart that he is, decides to point it out.
“Why don't you just change?” He questions like it should be the most obvious thing.
“I left my bag with Jyuushimatsu and mom said she got it when we talked earlier.” He explains, again wiping at the stain with his bare hands, almost neurotic as if the friction alone would make the dried matter disappear like an eraser, removing the memory of the the day’s awful memories along with the stain.
“You have Jyuushimatsu’s bag right there, just put on his sweater.” Osomatsu points at the bag at his side and Ichimatsu’s face blooms into a bright pink blush.
“He’s more fit. His clothes would never fit me.” He knows he’s the heaviest brother. Even with baseball a part of his life, he’s never been as active as he should have been, having been a bench warmer through his whole middle school career.
“His sweater is huge though. It’s Jyuushimatsu nii-san’s style.” Todomatsu counters without even looking up from where his fingers slide across his phone’s screen.
Before he can argue, Karamatsu throws his hat into the conversation; or more accurately, his sweatshirt, into the center of a busy afternoon train. Thankfully he had a shirt on. Sadly it was a tank top with his face on it. Where the hell did he get that?
“Dearest brother, it would not only be an honor, but also a pleasure to give the clothes quite literally off my back in order to soothe your aching mind!” He thrusts the sweater with one hand, using the other to hold his face by the fingertips in a dramatic gesture. “And do not worry. The sweatshirt will keep you warm as it has been heated up by their hot-blooded body of mine!!”
The other three groan and Ichimatsu accepts the offered item…only to throw it harshly at his brother’s face. He hits his mark and begins to rummage through his younger brother's bag again, and easily enough finds the bright yellow fabric. He discards his sweater as if we’re on fire and then moves to put on the “borrowed” piece of clothing. This time, he savors the moment. Slowly slipping he material over his head and inhaling the scent that is Jyuushimatsu’s trademark. Soil, sweat, and a warmth that can only come from the sun's rays and landing on its human counterpart.
When he sticks his head out, he sees his other brothers staring at him and he feels his face heat again and promptly turns towards the window and away from their knowing looks. So he sniffed his brother's sweater. What’s the big deal? Jyuushimatsu’s scent has always brought him comfort and he especially needed it right now.
The rest of the trip is silent and when they arrive at the hospital they find out that visiting hours are almost over for the day and only one of them would be able to see him for the allotted amount of time.
Ichimatsu doesn’t speak up since he thinks he’s the least deserving, having been the cause of his brother’s hospitalization. However, his brothers disagree, as he is the unanimous winner, having excluded his null vote, making it one of the few instances all of the brothers have agreed on something.
He reluctantly leaves his family’s side and follows the directions given by the nurse to find his younger brother.
When he steps into the room, it is completely silent. The sensation is foreign to Ichimatsu as he approaches his brother. The warmth is gone, bitter chills nipping at his exposed skin. He tucks his hands into the stretched out sleeves. There are no bright colors, everything being blocked by the white everything. And Jyuushimatsu’s big presence is practically nonexistent as he’s snuggly tucked into the hospital bed.
Ichimatsu moves slowly, methodically; almost afraid this is some elaborate illusion that will shatter the second he gets too close. If he even dares to touch his brother.
When he finally reaches the bed, he frees a hand from its yellow constraint and cups Jyuushimatsu’s identical one. That alone causes Ichimatsu to break down. His wails are loud, harsh as his usually unused vocal cords are strained by the pain Ichimatsu cannot keep from expressing,
This is all my fault. Because we’re too close. Because I’m broken, because I’m gay. Because I’m—
“I’m in love with you.” He croaks out. Finally admitting the heavy thought that had been plaguing his mind for months now, since this darkness tried to consume him whole.
“I love you.” This feeling that tore through him like a violent storm, causing a mess on his insides and his mind but somehow saving him from an even worse disaster.
A tremor passes through his body almost as if he’d been punched in the stomach by the force of these surfacing feelings. “I want you.” He’d never craved anything so much. He’d given up on yearning anything because of his personality. Friends, lovers, happiness, peace. They were all out the question. But nothing could stop his desire, his need for his brother. To be beside him, to laugh with him, cry with him, hold him…
“I'm not asking you to love me back.” There are tears, snot and saliva streaming down his face, dripping down his chin, pooling together on his brother’s hand as he closes the gap and places the smallest of kisses. His hopes and dreams attached to it.
“Just don’t leave me.”
I'm not actually good with fighting and all that so I just skipped it xD
And can someone explain to me why visiting hours would be over in the middle of the day? lol
I'm going to be super busy for the next couple of months with school and work, I have no off days, so I'll try to write if I ever have a couple of hours of free time
I cant give an exact estimate of when this will update, but I'm guessing eventually? Lol
Gonna go see if I can finish the KaraTodo chap up real quick on the other story too for those who are keeping up with it! And if not, well I'll delete this part later
Again, tell me what you think! I'm either too awkward or busy to answer the comments right now but I get so overjoyed reading them
I'm on twitter @understadingm
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’ll never let you suffer alone again.”
There's progress, but not much
Omg I didn't mean to be gone for so long, but stress and anxiety always work against my creative process. I had this chapter done and I thought I might as well share it because it's...something? So yeah, here goes nothing
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
This can not be happening. This cannot be happening.
Ichimatsu continues to repeat this mantra absentmindedly as he pulls at the already stretched out sleeves. He keeps replaying the scene over and over and over again, his stupid display of weakness has put him in a sticky situation. As he rides in the back of the van with his family, he drowns them out as he involuntarily remembers the exact moment where he screwed himself over.
“Just don’t leave me.” He whispers as he pulls away from Jyuushimatsu’s hand, the peaceful look on his brother’s face is too much for him in that moment, so before he notices, he’s already leaning into his brother’s space once more, the face that’s so much like his own, yet so different all together is facing him, so tantalizing that he can’t resist getting closer and closer…until his lips are pressed against chapped, closed lips.
He pulls away after a moment of pressure, but is still close enough that he can feel the smooth exhale of his brother as he himself releases a sigh of relief. That is until bright brown eyes open before him, full of wonder and confusion and he yelps as he falls back on his butt from his own surprise.
“Nii-san?” Jyushimatsu’s voice is still tinged with curiosity even through the grogginess. Ichimatsu, however, finds himself unable to answer all of the implications of that simple question, and his arms are lifting him up and his legs are carrying him outside of the room. He only stops once he reaches his family, and even though he’s exhausted and out of breath, he still suggests that they leave now and with the agreement of both his parents, they all walk to where their parents parked the car.
They all hop in and once they’re all settled and driving off, all of the other brothers begin to bombard Ichimatsu with questions.
“How is our dear brozzah?!”
“Did he wake up at all while you were there?”
“How did he look?”
“Was he all fucked up?”
It was just too much for him. He wasn’t used to being the center of attention to such aggressively annoying people. Usually if his brothers began to gang up on him, he’d have Jyuushimatsu by his side to diffuse the situation by either answering the questions or completely changing the subject and diverting the attention to himself. Now he just feels like he’s suffocating, he can’t tell them about the events that transpired in the hospital room because then he’ll have to relive the, the…
Choromatsu seems to be the one to notice his anxious behavior and takes it upon himself to back everyone off of his younger brother.
“Guys, it’s been a difficult day, especially for Ichimatsu. Let’s give him a break and let him tell us how Jyuushimatsu was once we’re back home.” The other brothers all agree and move their focuses to something else and Choromatsu throws Ichimatsu a sympathetic look and he’s both thankful and even more anxious as he sits in the crowded, stuffy-feeling vehicle.
He’s the first one in the bathroom when they get home, gently removing the sweater he borrowed and folding it up before placing it on top of the hamper and unceremoniously throws off the rest of his clothes. When he sits down to clean himself up, he continues to scrub at his skin, the repetitive motion seems to calm him down, even as his skin begins to redden and sting. He needs to focus on something, he can’t focus on his feelings, that’s really the last thing he needs, but he does need to distract himself, so he focuses on the changing color of his skin, from a light tan, from hours in the sun spent on baseball, to a soft pinkish hue, to a dark red. He finds the color fascinating, it’s almost the exact color of Jyuushimatsu’s cheeks when he’s been in the sun too long or in that rare moment when Ichimatsu is able to embarrass him.
He feels a warmth in his stomach and when he looks down, he notices that he’s hard and he feels his face burn with disgust. He’s a disgusting person, loving his brother, wanting him physically like this. He ignores his stiffening member and walks over to the awaiting bath. He may be disgusting, but he will not succumb to this temptation, he does not want to soil Jyuushimatsu with something like this. He dips himself into the bath and contemplates just sinking down completely into the bottom of the tub. He usually takes baths with Jyuushimatsu, but now that he’s alone, he notices how big it is, how easy it is to disappear beneath the surface.
A knock on the door breaks his weird moment, and he hears Osomatsu’s loud voice from behind the door. “It’s time to get out of the bath!! There’s like a million other people in this house!”
Ichimatsu gives a defeated huff instead of a response and slowly steps out of the bath, wrapping a towel around his waist and walks out, barely acknowledging his brother as he goes to change in their room. He chooses not to eat, simply setting out the large futon and slipping inside, ignoring Totty’s complaints of making sure to dry his hair properly. He just places his towel over his pillow and plops down onto it. The youngest simply clicks his tongue and makes the off-handed comment that at least Jyuushimatsu wouldn’t have to deal with the wet spot tonight.
Ichimatsu feels a cold emptiness at the thought. Jyuushimatsu is not here even though he needs him. He needs him so selfishly, like he needs air, even when his younger brother can’t be that for him, he’d never ask that of him. Especially because that’s not something that Jyuushimatsu would ever want either, he knows that.
He falls asleep while ignoring the tears streaming down his face.
Of course he wakes up with a fever. The emotional turmoil as well as the lack of taking care of himself physically took too much of a toll on his body. His head hurts, he feels like he’s overheating, and his body feels like it weighs a ton. His brothers joke that he’s faking, but after his mom checks up on him, he’s excused from going to school. Osomatsu begs that he coughs on his face a couple of times, but Choromatsu drags him out by the collar. Everyone else hopes that he gets better, though Karamatsu is too dramatic and gets bonked on the head by the youngest brother and dragged out as well.
Ichimatsu is too tired to really pay attention to any of them, only concentrating enough to take the medicine his mother is offering him, eating the tiniest bit, and going back to falling asleep almost instantly.
He wakes up feeling better than how he went to sleep, he till feels warm, but it’s pleasant, familiar. He doesn’t open his eyes until he feels a pressure around his waist and a content sigh. His eyes are wide open in an instant as he takes in a sharp inhale of breath and tries to move away because he knows exactly the situation he’s in. However, he can’t even move, trapped between a hard, yet comfortable, body and strong arms.
“Don’t get up yet, niisan; this is so comfortable.” Jyuushimatsu sighs as he buries is face in Ichimatsu’s back. “It’s so nice to be home. I missed niisan so much I couldn’t sleep in the hospital after you left.”
Ichimatsu sighs and rubs the hands around his waist. “Same here.” He feels the pressure of his brother’s arm lessen, signaling him to turn around, which he does so automatically. When he faces Jyuushimatsu, he can feel himself become at ease instantly. He can breath again, looking into these beautiful brown eyes full of unconditional love and acceptance. He feels himself leaning into Jyuushimatsu even more than he thought possible until their foreheads are touching.
They stay quiet for a second, inhaling each other’s exhales, which to most would be kind of disgusting with the addition of morning breath, but to Ichimatsu, it was all he needed, just him and Jyuushimatsu, with nothing else in the world. Eventually, the younger decided to break the silence.
“Mom told me you were sick. Are you feeling better?” Before answering, Ichimatsu rests his head against Jyuushimatsu’s shoulder, inhaling his brother’s comforting scent, his own personal safety blanket.
“I am now.” He feels guilty for having Jyuushimatsu comfort him when the younger brother had just gone through something horrific just the day before. “How are you?”
“With niisan around, I couldn’t be better!” He throws his arms around Jyuushimatsu and pulls him close.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’ll never let you suffer alone again.” He whispers quietly, more to reassure himself.
“It’s alright, niisan. It’s not your fault.” Jyuushimatsu pets his hair, a habit that is known to relax him in an instant.
The silence is comfortable enough that Ichimatsu finds himself asleep once more, in the sweet embrace of the person he loves most.
He wakes up the second time to a much louder scene. It’s late enough that his brothers have arrived from school and even with Jyuushimatsu still wrapped around him, it’s not enough to keep himself from getting annoyed at his brothers’ rambunctiousness.
“Will you guys just shut up?!” His voice is raw and he just wants something to drink.
His brothers offer half-hearted apologies or rude comments, but he only hears Jyuushimatsu’s sincere words of “sorry, niisan! I just got too excited!!” followed by a cute squeeze to his sides.
His cheeks grow warm but he just buries his face in Jyuushimatsu’s chest and mumbles for them to shut up. It felt like things could go back to normal like this.
I think it's alright, but let me know what you think!
Don't know when I'll update, but I'm hoping soon-ish
Come talk to me on Twitter @bonniecanwrite :D