“Ugh, crap!” Ann shouted. They were only 3 miles away from Indianapolis, but her old, beat up car was not making it the rest of the way.
“What’s happening?!” Leslie exclaimed. “Do I need to get out and push?”
“No, I’ll just call someone.” Ann sighed. She pulled to the side of the road and put the car in park, sunk down into her seat as far as the seatbelt would let her go, and gave out a long, deep sigh.
“Aww, Ann, that’s expensive!” Leslie said. “We can fix it! Is it the gas?” She paused. “Ann, did you put gas in your car before we left?” She looked at her warningly.
“Yes, it’s just a piece of crap!” She hit the steering wheel as if to punish the car. It gave out a tiny honk in protest. She sat up, undoing her seatbelt and picking up her phone. “I guess I’ll call a tow truck. They’ll take us to a mechanic in Indy, right?”
“Well, I dunno much about the boys at AAA, but with a body like that, Ann, I’m not sure there’s a place in Indiana they won’t take you!”
Ann rolled her eyes at Leslie and dialed AAA. She had them on speed dial.
Two hours later, Ann and Leslie were still on the side of the road, waiting for AAA to come and take them to Indianapolis.
“Leslie, I’m really sorry I ruined our date. I feel terrible.”
“It’s okay, Ann, it wasn’t your fault.” She took Ann’s hand in her own and gave her a comforting smile.
“I’ll totally make it up to you. When we get there, we’ll go to the best restaurant in Indianapolis and I’ll buy you dinner. Then we’ll go and see Lincoln.”
“Ooh, Lincoln!” Leslie exclaimed. “Ann, you know me so well.” She leaned in to give her a peck on the lips, but Ann decided to take it further by letting go of her hand, tangling her fingers in Leslie’s hair instead. She pulled her closer, and pushed against the car door with her foot, so that she could be closer to Leslie. In response, Leslie sprinkled kisses all over ann’s jawbone and neck, causing her to moan.
By the time Leslie had made her way back to Ann’s lips, there was a knock on the window. The couple jumped at the sound. Leslie brushed her fingers through her hair, attempting to make it more presentable. Ann did the same while rolling down the window.
“Hi!” She said cheerily. The person was a man, named Bill according to his name tag. Also according to his name tag, he was with AAA.
“Uh, hi. Got a call from a woman named…” He paused, looking at his clipboard. “Ann Porkins?”
“Perkins, yes, that’s me.”
“Alright, young lady, step out of the vehicle while we get it hooked up.”
Ann and Leslie waited another 30 minutes while they hooked the car up to the tow truck. Once it was hooked up, they rode to the nearest mechanic.
“Alright, I’ll go inside and talk to them. Are you gonna wait out here?” Ann asked Leslie.
“Yeah, sure! Have fun in there!” She called after her. Realizing what Ann might have gotten out of that statement, she corrected herself. “But not too much fun!”
As Leslie was standing outside the mechanic, she began to take in all of Indianapolis. The different smells, the trees. Even the grass looked a little different! Not as green as Pawnee’s, of course, but still pretty green.
They were a little far away from everything, but she did notice one thing: A car dealership.
“Ann!” She exclaimed when she saw her coming out of the building. “Look! It’s a car dealership!”
“We can buy you a new car! Or we can buy a car together, like our little—“ She stopped because Ann was looking at her weirdly “—no? Right, just yours! Let’s go!” She grabbed her hand and attempted to run.
Ann pulled her back. “Leslie, it’s okay, it’s just the starter in my car. It won’t take very long at all to fix, and we can get back to our date.”
“Aww, Ann, you’re so boring and beautiful.” She gave her a sympathetic smile.
“Thanks?” Ann smiled back, still unsure if her “compliments” were ever actually compliments.
“Can we at least test drive some?” Leslie’s face was lit up with excitement. “Pleeeeeaaase Ann? One?”
Ann couldn’t resist her, she was too innocent. “Fine.” She smiled, and they set off.
“Ooh!” Leslie shouted from across the parking lot. “This one looks fun!”
She had said the same thing about ten cars already. Ann was looking carefully at each one, assessing the price vs. mileage vs. efficiency. She wasn’t sure why, though, because it wasn’t like she was going to buy a new car. She could never afford it on her own.
“Look, Ann! This one is the color of your couch!” She was pointing at a blue Volkswagen Bug”
Ann smiled at her, which was all the encouragement Leslie needed to keep looking.
“This one is the color of whipped cream, Ann!” She was standing beside a white Prius. “Let’s drive this one!”
Well, it was a sensible car, and very good on gas mileage. “Okay, I’ll go get the dealer!” She shouted back at her, smiling.
Oddly enough, the dealer was standing right behind her when she turned around. “Looking to test drive a car?” He asked in a chipper voice. The man was no taller than Ann, probably shorter, wore glasses, and was very skinny. His black, curly hair bounced with every syllable.
Before Ann could even answer, he was talking again.
“I just need to get a copy of your license!”
She handed it to him and went to wait beside Leslie, who was bouncing with excitement.
When he came back, he handed Ann her license and the keys. “take all the time you need! But not too long!” He wagged his finger at them.
Leslie paused, and a disgusted look overcame her face. “Are you insinuating that we’re going to have sex in the car?” Leslie whispered, loudly, to the dealer.
“Oh, no! Heavens, no!” He gave a hearty chuckle.
“Oh, good, cause we’re definitely not going to kiss each other’s faces off when we go on this drive, right Ann?” She looked at her, waiting for her confirmation.
“Uh, right.” Ann said, a bewildered look on her face.
The dealer was still laughing as he walked away.
“What a weirdo,” Leslie whispered. A smile broke out on her face as she darted off for the passenger side door. “Come on, Ann! It’s not every day you get to drive a whipped cream car!”
“We should probably find a hotel for tonight.” Ann said. they had been driving for a few minutes now. Leslie, was of course, scoping out the restaurants, hoping there was at least a Waffle Hut nearby.
“Right! Hotel, then waffles. You’re so smart Ann. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Ann smiled. She glanced at Leslie, who was beaming at the window.
“Look! A Holiday Inn!”
There was indeed a Holiday Inn nearby, but when they went to the door, there was no one inside. Instead, there was an “out for lunch” sign, and the time they’d be back said 1:15. An hour ago.
“Ugh, what do we do, Ann?”
“We find another hotel, I guess.”
“What if we can’t find one? Where will we make out with each other after a romantic night of waffles and Lincoln?” She had a genuinely terrified expression on her face.
“Well, we could always do that in the whipped cream car.” She smiled at Leslie, moving closer to her and taking both of her hands in her own.
“But, Ann,” She moved even closer, still sporting the scared face, and whispered, “we told the dealer guy we wouldn’t”
“What’s life without risk?”
Leslie bit her bottom lip and contemplated it. “Okay!” She smiled and took off, dragging Ann along behind her.
When they both got into the car, Ann took Leslie’s face in her hands and pulled her lips to her own. She flicked her tongue along Leslie’s lower lip, which always made Leslie giggle, which always made Ann smile.
Ann kissed Leslie’s neck, taking in her sweet scent. She always managed to smell like syrup, and sometimes cherries.
Leslie knotted her hands in Ann’s hair as she shivered from the neck kisses.
Ann came back up and found Leslie’s lips again. She wanted to pull her close, push her down and straddle her while she kissed her entire torso, but the Prius wasn’t allowing it.
“Backseat?” Ann asked.
Leslie agreed by climbing back there, grabbing Ann’s face in her hands as she climbed over too. They resumed kissing. Leslie made a path with her lips from Ann’s mouth, down her neck, and to her collarbone. God, Ann’s collarbones were sexy.
Leslie had to kiss more of her, so she peeled Ann’s tight v-neck sweater off of her body, pulling it over her head. Ann giggled when it got caught on her nose, but immediately traded the giggle for a moan when she felt Leslie kissing her collarbone, and nibbling at her breast. Ann tangled her fingers in Leslie’s hair, pulling on it gently but still managing to tangle her fingers in it.
Leslie continued to focus on kissing Ann’s collarbones for a few more seconds before the need to kiss the rest of Ann’s body overtook her. She pushed on Ann’s chest as a way to tell her to lie down on the backseat. Ann did so, propping her head on the car door.
Leslie moved down from Ann’s collarbones, kissing her breast, and then her nipple, nibbling it and flicking it with her tongue as she continued to move down the length of her body. When she reached Ann’s pants, she continued still, kissing all the way down her leg as she unbuttoned her jeans.
Once Ann’s jeans were unbuttoned, Leslie took her time coming back up to the button. Ann grabbed her hair and pulled her up, needing her way closer than she already was. Leslie gave her a sly smile, and teased her still, fighting Ann’s protesting and pleading, by biting her inner thigh and kissing her hipbones. Leslie moved her hands along Ann’s waist, to her breasts, and down her arms, stopping to squeeze her nipples along the way.
Leslie began kissing just above Ann’s underwear. By now, Ann was begging her, moaning “fuck,” “oh, god,” and “ugh, Leslie.” Ann clawed at Leslie's hair, pulling it harder with every kiss she felt.
Leslie stopped. As if she weren’t already teasing Ann enough. But, this time, she decided she’d wait to go down on her. Tonight, in their hotel room, like the grand finale to their weirdly perfect day. She was already imagining it: Ann’s naked, tan body, sprawled out on the crisp, rarely used sheets of the hotel bed, tugging on them as she begged Leslie to make her come.
She smiled at the thought, and made her way back up to Ann’s face, planting a gentle kiss on her jawline.
“Are you okay?” Ann whispered, out of breath. She opened her eyes to look at Leslie, who was wedging herself in between Ann and the car’s backseat.
She let her hands answer that, trailing her fingers along Ann’s soft stomach. She made circles on her chest, giving her left breast a gentle squeeze before finally making her way into her underwear. Ann groaned.
She was so wet.
Leslie made a fist, leaving only her middle and ring fingers out, and slowly inserted them into Ann. God, she was wet, and so warm.
Ann turned her head and buried it into Leslie’s neck. Leslie could feel her hot, quick breaths on her ear and it made her shiver.
She moved in and out of Ann, deliberately slow, alternating between circling her clit and moving in and out of her. As Ann’s breaths got shorter and her moans got louder, Leslie focused on her clit, rubbing it gently, but quickly.
Ann moved her hand down Leslie’s arm, and onto her hand. She felt how wet Leslie’s hand was just from touching her underwear. It turned her on so much more. She pushed Leslie’s hand further down, needing her to just fuck her, hard.
Leslie obeyed. She moved her fingers back inside of Ann, this time opting for three rather than two. She pushed them as deep inside of Ann as they would go, and circled them in an attempt to stimulate her g-spot. She moved in and out of her as quick as she could.
Leslie moved Ann’s head the other way, and began nibbling her neck. They were both breathing hard now, and Leslie could smell Ann’s shampoo. It smelled like vanilla and hair spray.
Leslie bit Ann’s neck, and then her ear, and then her neck again, all while moving in and out of her quickly. She could hear how close Ann was just by the way she was breathing. Oh, and the way she was screaming “dear god” and “ugh, fuck,” and the top of her lungs.
Ann turned her head so that she was buried in Leslie’s neck again, and grabbed her arm, pulling her tight. Her moans became high pitched, and finally, she came. Leslie lingered on her clit, barely putting any pressure on it, so that Ann’s orgasm would last longer.
When Ann protested because she was getting too sensitive, Leslie pulled her fingers out of Ann and zipped her jeans up for her. She watched her put her shirt back on. God, she’s beautiful.
“You’re so beautiful, Ann.”
Despite having heard that 3,875 times in the past, it still gave her butterflies. She hugged Leslie, hard, and lingered there for a solid 30 seconds. When they pulled apart, Leslie held Ann’s hand.
“Can we buy the whipped cream car?”
“Together, I mean.”
Ann paused, thinking about it. Leslie stared at her fingers, mesmerized by the way the looked intertwined with Ann’s.
“Yeah, we can get the whipped cream car.” Ann finally answered.
She watched Ann as they walked. She liked watching people when they walked, but especially Ann. Ann did it differently. Her hair always bounced and danced on her shoulders even if the wind wasn’t blowing, as if it had a mind of its own. She walked in a different way than most people did, with an air about her, as if she had just eaten a really good waffle. Or salad, because Ann really likes salad.
They walked into the restaurant together. No, it wasn’t a waffle house, but it was really fancy, and the only thing better for a date than waffles is fancy.
They ordered two White Merlots and then Ann ordered the bottle. Leslie watched her as she smiled, talking about the uniqueness of Indianapolis and the niceness of the people. It was nice to have adventures, just to get away from the sameness of Pawnee every once in awhile. It was even better hearing Ann’s voice and staring at her beautiful face while doing so.
Ann grabbed her hand from across the table, and gave it a squeeze. “I love you. So much.”
Leslie smiled. “I love you more.”