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Have I found you, flightless bird?

Chapter Text

I had given up, I didn't know who to trust
So I designed a shell, kept me from heaven and hell
And I had hit a low, was all I let myself know
Yeah I had locked my heart, I was imprisoned by dark
Sia- Dressed in Black

Wendy Darling tapped her fingers nervously at the bars of her cage. She did not know how long she had been on the island. Days had turned into weeks and weeks into months. Sometimes it felt like yesterday when she was in the nursery with her brothers in London and sometimes it felt like another lifetime. Everyday her heart filled with sorrow and sadness when she thought of her parents and her brothers. How she wished she could see them just once more. See them smile, see them laugh. Once in a while she would get angry too, furiously angry and shouted and screamed though she knew it was useless. She was held hostage and she still did not know why. It was frustrating because there was absolutely nothing she could do. Escaping was impossible because even if she could escape the cage, which she had tried, there was absolutely no way to leave Neverland. So all she could do was sit there day for day hoping for change. She sighed, looking at her dirty fingernails and tugged at her ragged-looking beige nightgown, which she changed for a blue one when she was allowed out of the cage.
Humans have the extraordinary ability to adapt to all circumstances but the worst thing for Wendy was the loneliness. With no one to share her thoughts with, she had lost her smile. Everyday three different lost boys brought her food. Porridge for breakfast, bread with cheese for lunch and dinner, occasionally a soup. Peter Pan forbade them to talk to her and no one wanted to break his rules so she rarely exchanged words with the lost boys. With absolutely no one to talk to, she became more depressed day by day. It was hard trying to imagine a better future when nothing new ever happened. Bored, she ripped off the horrid bottom of her nightgown so that it was cropped just over her knees. She felt more agile now, if only she could move freely. The cage barely left enough room for her to stand, yet she tried to get up and bumped her head a little but continued to admire her new nightgown. The ripped dress was proof that she could still make a change, no matter how small it was. A new spark of hope rose in her, powerful enough to make her believe that she could one day escape this prison. She decided she would give this escape mission her all, for there was nothing more to lose. Confident, she watched a blue bird hopping from one branch to the next, further up a great tree until he flew above the trees away from the island. Wendy did not know when or how but she was certain that she would someday fly away from Neverland as a free bird.

Every few days Peter Pan came by the cage. It was hung up rather high in a tree and when he wanted to talk to Wendy he simply raised his hand and lowered the cage with his magical abilities. They fascinated Wendy. He never let her out of the cage when he talked to her, perhaps he wanted to maintain his status as the capturer. No one dared to come close to the cage when he was there, which meant they had complete privacy. At first she was reluctant to talk to him, after all, he had captured her and he was the reason she was away from her family for so long. The first few weeks on Neverland, she refused to talk to him until he would set her free. That did not happen and after weeks it was the lack of human interaction that almost made her go mad. She was in desperate need of talking to someone, anyone and when Peter appeared at her cage one day again asking rather joyfully: "How are you, Wendy bird?'' , she answered to his surprise: "Not very good, given the scum food you are serving me." He laughed dryly. ,,This is certainly no aristocratic house is London. You should get used to the food since you will stay here for a very long time.'' Wendy's lips quivered at the notion of her home. She was suddenly afraid she would never return to London. She lifted herself up and grasped the bars of the cage and loudly demanded: "How long do you intend to keep me here?" ,"As long as I desire.", he turned away and grinned devilishly. All that was left of Wendy's courage disappeared in a second and she sat down on the cold metal again. She had lost her hope. Her imprisonment had changed her. She was no longer the happy, caring sister. In her despair, she cried herself to sleep again, like every other night, when the images of her family kept flickering in front of her closed eyes.
A few days later, Peter Pan visited her again. Wendy was wide awake and somehow eager to talk to him. She remembered that she had once felt sympathy for this boy, even admired him. So had her brothers as they had all visited Neverland for the first time together. There wasn't a moment she had regretted that decision. Her only and biggest regret was just that she had come back again without her brothers and had never been able to leave the island since. She knew what had attracted her to Peter and the island. The scent of adventure, of freedom and fun. There was no way she could have known then, that everything was about to change. That Peter would lure her into a cage and show his true face. That Neverland would become a place of howling shadows at night. That freedom was in London, not here. She had to learn these things painfully. Nevertheless, today was a new day and she decided to ignore the past just for a few minutes as she smiled at Peter Pan happily and greeted him cheerfully: "How are things going in Neverland?" He was irritated and even frowned for a second but he regained his straight expression almost instantly. "Neverland is prospering as always. As I can see, you are getting accomodated with your cage now." "Well, it is not comfortable but I can manage." She decided, just for a day, to talk to him as if he was still the mysterious and fun boy, she had once admired. For a moment, it felt like they were just two normal teenagers talking with eachother. And she desperately needed to cling to any piece of normality, so she kept the conversation going. "How does Neverland really look? Is the mermaid lagoon still there? I can't remember, it's been so long." She thought this was quite the subtle hint to Peter. He seemed quite irritated by the seemingly normal conversation but tried to play along. "Yes, the lagoon is still there, of course. Everything is still the same. There is a quite lovely treehouse nearby, I usually sleep there, but I am thinking of making an exception. I will allow you to sleep there as a change to your cage. This is quite the treat, Wendy, I must admit. I hope you appreciate it." She was surprised and answered truthfully: "I do appreciate it Peter." "Very well.", he glanced at her curiously, then turned around and disappeared in the woods. Wendy was surprised at this turn of events. Within one conversation, Peter Pan had admitted her a night outside of the cage. Maybe wonders were still possible!

Chapter Text

Please don't see
just a boy caught up in dreams in fantasies
Please see me
reaching out for someone I can't see
Lost stars- Adam Levine

 

Peter Pan wandered through the forest aimlessly. That girl never failed to astonish him. He thought about his recent dicision to let Wendy sleep in his treehouse for a night. It was a completely spontaneous decision. There was something about her, probably that hopeful gaze of hers that had made him alter his plans. He tried to push the thought of her aside but failed miserably. After some time he arrived at the tree house, his favorite and most sacred place on Neverland, climbed up the ladder swiftly and paced around the small room. He always came up here when he needed to think. None of the lost boys were allowed up here, not even his most loyal companion Felix had ever set foot in the treehouse. And now he had allowed this girl to spend a night here! What was he thinking?! He did not understand himself, it was as if a part of him that was long lost had made that decision. Confused, he flew to the roof of the house and settled there, watching the lost boys prepare the evening campfire. Sometimes the gathering of the group would make him feel a bit sentimental, which was why he needed time alone to think. He always left Felix in charge of the boys when he was absent, because he also commanded with a cruel harshness that was satisfying to watch from above. Pan stared into the flickering flames of the campfire and thought about the connection he had felt between himself and Wendy all those years ago at her window where they had met. He had instantly taken a liking to her and he knew that she was also intrigued by him, or else she would not have followed him to Neverland. But now, their attitude towards each other had shifted visibly in every aspect. Peter Pan's cruelty had destroyed their friendship beyond repair. Though he had never intended to hurt her in the beginning, his approach had changed dramatically. It seemed like they could never go back to the beginning, it seemed impossible to ignore all the bad that had happened between them. In spite of everything, today had somehow felt like a new beginning, mainly because of Wendy's hopefulness.
Peter Pan reflected on his behavior regarding Wendy in the last weeks. Mostly he would avoid seeing Wendy throughout the day because when he did, her beauty struck him every time, which was why he did not look into her eyes that often. Eventually, he would talk to her and and she sometimes she even seemed genuinely interested in him and his words, her eyes were glowing and her lips curved into a smile. After all, he was the only human she really interacted with. Peter Pan was genuinely interested in her too although he would never show it. The ruler of Neverland stayed serious during their conversations, only a dry smile or a boyish smirk left his lips once in a while. A strong feeling of guilt always haunted him after talking to her, he felt like he was betraying himself. Talking to Wendy made him in a way feel good and he tried to shake that feeling off as quickly as possible because he thought that just was not him. The result of that guilt was that he often avoided her for days after they talked. The longer the conversation, the longer his absence. Those were the days when she crept into his consciousness at the most unexpected times and he fiercely tried to push those thoughts as far away as possible. He often became grumpy and vile: The lost boys feared him most in that state. When something didn't go his way, he punished the boys immensely. When Wendy's voice became to loud in his head, he could simply not resist anymore and visited her again. The vicious cycle began anew.
Now he found himself breaking the cycle, changing things and doing something new. It frightened him, though it had been his decision, he felt like he was not in control of the situation. 'I still have time until tomorrow to think this through. I'm still in control.', he thought, trying to calm himself. Usually, reserved and cunning, this worry was not something he was familiar with. The thought of letting Wendy invade his most private place, the treehouse, was worrying him greatly. He was not in the mood to join the evening gathering at the fire. Instead, he took out his pan flute and played a mysterious melody while gazing up at the half moon.

Chapter Text

[...] You disregard the mess while I try to control the world
Don't leave me, stay here and frighten me
don't leave me, come now enlighten me [...]
So go and challenge me, take the reins and see,
watch me squirm baby, but you are just what I need

Sia-Fair Game

 

The next day in Neverland was the usual boredom for Wendy. She spent her time staring up into the cloudy sky and slurping the broth a lost boy had brought her. It wasn't until dusk when Wendy realized that Pan had promised her to sleep in his treehouse for the night. Suddenly she was excited and began to sit straight in her cage. This change was exactly what she needed. But then she remembered that she could never trust Pan to keep any promise whatsoever. He made the rules and he could change them just as easily. Neverland was an entire game for him. She hadn't seen any sign of him the whole day, maybe he simply forgot. Wendy pushed the thought away and accepted that she had to spend yet another night in this horrible cage. Just in that moment she heard a rustle in the branches and saw someone moving through the forest. Anxiously, she looked until she saw Peter Pan coming straight to her cage. "You'd thought I'd forget, didn't you?", he asked loudly. Intimidated, she answered honestly: "Well, actually, I did." "You were right. I did forget. I just remembered now and thought, why not give it a chance?", he sounded almost cheerful. She was surprised by this casual Peter Pan. His face hardened again as he lifted his hand and the cage fell to the ground with a thud. The cage door swung open.
Peter Pan hesitated for a few moments, then offered Wendy his hand to help her out of the cage. She looked into his eyes and her fingers trembled as she took his hand and he pulled her out. After a long time, she finally stood up in her full height and streched briefly. She wasn't that much shorter than him. "Well, follow me.", he began to walk off through the forest quickly, pushing some branches aside and leading the way confidently. Wendy followed him closely and felt the leaves brush her legs where she had ripped her gown yesterday.
"It's so lovely to walk.", she said dreamily. He turned and looked at her while walking: "I prefer flying.", he grinned. She grinned too. From what she remembered, she preferred flying too, but right now she was just happy to walk again. "We're almost there now." He stopped suddenly and and turned to stand behind Wendy. "No one knows where the treehouse is. I'd like to keep it that way." He put his hands over Wendy's eyes and she gasped from his sudden closeness. Then he led her towards the treehouse. When her feet touched the ladder, he spoke clearly: "Climb up the ladder slowly. Keep your eyes closed. You won't fall, I'm behind you." She nodded as he took his hands from her eyes. Blind, she climbed up the wooden ladder very slowly until she reached the top where she opened her eyes. Wendy found herself standing in a small room with wooden furniture. Through a window she could see that it was rather high up in the trees and she also saw that it was getting darker. There was a small nook at the window with a green pillow and a dark brown carved wooden bed with a small table next to it. A closet with drawers was also there and a gas lamp was dangling from the ceiling. A part of the blank wall was covered with a large, apparently self-drawn map of Neverland. There were drawings of a cave and the lagoon and many markings all over the map. Wendy was curious what their meaning was. The small room seemed surprisingly cozy, but maybe that was just because she was used to the cold cage for so long. "It's rather comfortable here.", Wendy remarked. He scoffed. "You didn't actually expect me to sleep in a hammock in the forest like the lost boys. Being the King of Neverland does come with its privileges." Wendy rolled her eyes. He was just as cocky as he had been when she met him. It seemed unbelievable to her that he hadn't changed a bit, while she felt like a completely different person at times.
She moved towards the map on the wall and traced her fingers along the black lines. Apparently, most of it was drawn with coal. She was surprised when she saw a scraggly cage drawing with the word 'WendyBird' underneath it. Pan tried to distract her from the map when he asked: "Why did you cut off your gown?" She looked at the torn edges, then answered: "I just needed more space to move." He frowned as he thought about her words. Then he continued: "Is there anything else you desire?" "Well, it may seem odd, but it would be wonderful if I had a brush.", she looked at him cautiously, expecting him to laugh. His reaction was the opposite. With a flick of his hand a brush appeared and he gave it to Wendy. "Thank you.", she uttered, surprised. She began brushing through her hair carefully, finally able to remove small twigs and other dirt from her hair. While brushing she walked towards the window and peered outside onto the treetops. The evening sounds of Neverland were refreshing. Birds chirping, lost boys shouting and water splashing. Wendy closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh air. After a very long time, she saw Neverland again as a place of freedom and not as an island of terror. "It's actually wonderful. Neverland, I mean.", she spoke more to herself than to Peter. "Of course it is.", Pan replied softly.
Wendy finished brushing through her long, dark blonde hair. "I'm a little bit tired.", she said. "Well, you can sleep in my bed.", he gestured towards the beautifully carved wooden bed. She wondered why he was being so nice to to her. Why now? After all this time in captivity? Why did this change come so suddenly? Wendy was confused by his change of mind but didn't want to question it, since she profited from it. "Thanks. But where will you sleep?" "Oh. On the roof, I guess. I like sleeping under the stars." She smiled. A sudden sleepiness came over her and she laid the brush on the table next to the bed and climbed into the bed with its brown blanket.
"Good night, then.", Pan said and closed his right hand. The light vanished from the gas lamp. Wendy snuggled under the soft cover and was happy to sleep in a real bed instead of a cage. She tried to clear her mind from everything in order to fall asleep but had trouble doing so. The sound of Pan's feet pacing the floor echoed loudly in her mind. The wooden floor creaked. "I can't sleep.", she muttered quietly but loud enough for him to hear it. The gas lamp flickered and lightened up. Peter Pan approached her very fast and then sat down on the bed next to her. He pushed a strand of hair from her eyes and they looked into each others eyes. Shadows flickered on the walls. "I'm tired but I can't fall asleep.", Wendy repeated quietly. She felt a little bit intimidated but also safe with him by her side. Pan, on the other hand, looked at her very curiously. "Think lovely thoughts. Then you'll fall asleep." He pulled up the cover and tucked her in softly. With another flick of his hand the light went out again. Wendy heard how he jumped on the window's edge where he repeated: "Think lovely thoughts." Then he climbed up onto the roof and settled there. They both fell asleep fast with a smile on their faces.

And I've never played a fair game, I've always had the upper hand
But what good is intellect and airplay, if I can't respect anyone
Oh I want to play a fair game, yeah I want to play a fair game

You terrify me, we've still not kissed and yet I've cried
You got to close and I pushed and pushed hoping you'd bite [...]
Sia- Fair game

Chapter Text

 

 

So don't worry, don't worry, I'm here by your side
by your side, by your side, we're letting go tonight!
[Chorus]
Yesterday is gone and you will be ok,
place your past into a book,
burn the pages, let 'em cook, oh
Yesterday is dead and gone and so today,
place your past into a book,
burn the pages, let 'em cook
Sia- Burn the Pages

 

Bright sun rays woke Wendy the next morning in Neverland. She blinked, opened her eyes and smiled as she saw green treetops and a blue cloudless sky through the small window in the treehouse. Only now, she realized that she was in a comfortable bed with soft covers and pillows and not in the cold cage she was used to. Wendy got out of the bed and looked out of the window. So this was why Peter Pan felt like the King of Neverland, she understood suddenly. The beautiful view made her fall in love with Neverland again, just for a moment. There was the waterfall with the lagoon in the distance and the lively jungle just beneath her. She remembered her first visit to the island with her brothers and the painful sting in her heart reminded her that she was still a prisoner here. But where was her capturer?                                                                                       Her gaze shifted towards the wooden drawer where she spotted a new dress. Excitedly, she grabbed it and looked at it in its full length. She squealed when she saw it wasn't a night gown but a flowy spring dress made of silk. The upper part was light green with short sleeves that covered the shoulders, at hip-length the green slowly faded into a light blue and the dress was cleanly cropped at knee length. A small piece of paper fell out of the dress and onto the floor. Wendy picked it up and read what was written in smeared coal letters: "Since you're so tired of the old nightgown, I got you a new dress." Wendy changed into the new dress quickly, happy to get out of the nightgown she was sick of. She was still trying to comprehend the impossible. Peter Pan had given her a gift. A new dress which was actually quite beautiful. She was absolutely stunned as she twirled around in the green-blue dress, admiring it and feeling fresh and renewed. He wanted her to look good and more importantly, to feel good. It was as if he had changed into a new person. Wendy noticed a delicious smell coming from the lost boys camp and realized she was very hungry. Since there was no sign of Peter Pan anywhere and she was feeling adventurous, she decided to go over to the camp to eat. If she was with the boys, she wouldn't feel like an isolated prisoner anymore. Just as she walked towards the opening in the floor with the ladder, a plate appeared on the ground in front of her and she almost stepped on it. With a gasp, she saw that it was her breakfast: fried eggs and bread, along with fork and knife. She thought that Pan must have been watching her from somewhere, nevertheless, she took her meal and sat down at the nook by the window, overlooking Neverland. Wendy smiled to herself, feeling peaceful and at ease.
There was a thud and Wendy turned to see Peter Pan appear in the room. "I see that you finished your breakfast. How was it?" "Good morning.", Wendy said politely. Now that she wasn't in her cage anymore, she thought she could make use of her London manners again. "I enjoyed the food. Thank you very much for the dress. It's absolutely wonderful!" She stood up and turned to show the dress. Peter smiled briefly. "I'm glad you like it. You look quite pretty in it.", he murmured quietly, almost inaudible. A compliment. Something she hadn't heard in years. Something that was like honey to her soul. A compliment from the most unexpected source. Wendy's lips curved into a smile and she was again, surprised by his, was it shyness? Peter Pan turned his back to to Wendy and cleared his throat loudly, suggesting a change of topic. "Now that you've had a meal, I hope you're ready to go outside." "Sure. Where are we going?", she asked curiously. He faced her again and smirked as he said: "Exploring."

Half an hour later, the pair of them where walking through the seemingly endless forest of Neverland. The warm sun rays tingled their skin and the cloudless blue sky lay ahead of them. Wendy enjoyed the moist earth beneath her feet and the screeching birds above her. At daytime, the forest did not seem threatening at all, it felt like the most peaceful place on earth, with all kinds of animals, magical and non-magical, living in harmony. Pan led the way, knowing every rock and plant on his island and loved showing his knowledge. Every now and then he pointed out something interesting to Wendy, such as: "That a jaguz. It can fly, swim, walk and jump." or the occasional warning: "Don't touch these ferns, it takes months to get rid of the rash." Wendy asked a few times: "Where are you taking me?" The answer was always the same: "You'll see when we get there." At last, Pan pushed aside a few branches to reveal a mesmerizing view. There it was: The mermaid lagoon with its shimmering rocks and the iridescent rainbow over the waterfall. Peter Pan stopped and turned to Wendy: "You wanted to see the lagoon. I hope it's still the way you remember it." "No. Not at all. It's better!", she laughed and stepped out into the sun. The water surface glittered in the sunlight and Wendy noticed what was missing: "It's perfect. But where are the mermaids?" Pan scoffed: "They don't belong to Neverland, they're just visitors. And that's a good thing." "Why?" "They're such a nuisance.", he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. The good weather apparently didn't lift his usual broody mood. Wendy shrugged: "I thought they were a lot of fun." Changing the topic, he replied: "Anyway, since you love it here so much, I thought you could stay here. I still have things to do." "And you don't want me to come along.", Wendy added. "I didn't say that. But I'll come back and you'll get food." He nodded and left immediately.        

Once again, Wendy was left to her own devices and decided to use her new found freedom to swim in the lagoon. A few seconds later, she was splashing in the warm water, the new dress laying neatly by the riverbank. Swimming was truly freedom. Her body moved gracefully and felt incredibly light in the water. Wendy laughed to herself, savoring the moment. Soon, three mermaids joined her in the lagoon. One was blonde, another brunette and the third had flaming red hair. They were all astoundingly beautiful and giggled merrily until they the saw the stranger in front of them. Their facial expressions changed instantly and the brunette asked skeptically: "Who are you?" Wendy stuttered: "I ...live here." The blonde mermaid disappeared under the water surface and reappeared again. "She's...a human.", the mermaid scoffed. They all chuckled and their faces softened. The red-haired mermaid spoke now: "I've never seen a girl around here. I thought only boys lived here." "Well, I'm the exception!", Wendy said. The mermaids mood lightened again and soon the four of them splashed around, laughing delighted. The three inspected Wendy's legs and she was fascinated by their tail. Wendy was happy to speak to girls again, after Peter Pan had been her only conversational partner for so long. The mermaids told of their adventures in other realms and Wendy Darling listened attentively, since she thought she had nothing interesting to share. Later, a plate with green beans and potatoes appeared by the river and Wendy got out of the water and ate hungrily after swimming for a while. Pan had promised her food and there it was. She had long accepted not to question his methods and instead enjoyed the food. The day passed quickly and Wendy was diving with the mermaids now, though she had to surface in order to keep breathing, of course. After the initial confusion they all got along well with each other now and Wendy treasured the lagoon of Neverland as one of her favorite places on the island already.

In the late afternoon, Wendy jumped as she heard a rustle from the forest and knew it must be Pan. Quickly, she got out of the water and put on her dress, she definitely did not want him to see her naked. Seconds later, Peter Pan emerged from the jungle and was greeted by Wendy's bright smile. "Back from the days work? How are the boys? I didn't see them yet.", she asked eagerly. "They're just fine.", he answered and frowned when he saw the mermaids splashing behind Wendy. They caught sight of him too and the blonde shouted: "Hey look! It's Peter Pan!" The three swam towards the riverbank with a look on their faces Wendy had never seen before. "Come in and play with us! The water is lovely!", the brunette exclaimed and splashed water on his feet and legs. Pan jumped back and growled: "Watch it! Darned mermaids..." Wendy giggled. Then she grabbed his wrist and tried to pull him towards the water. "The water is great. You should enjoy the lagoon. A swim is so relaxing." He grumbled even more and didn't budge. The red haired mermaid leaned her head on the grass dreamily and spoke: "He's sooo pretty. But he never wants to play with us." "Yes. So handsome...", the blonde braided her long hair and smiled at him seductively.

Peter Pan took Wendy's hand and dragged her into the forest, away from the lagoon. All she could do was mouth a quick goodbye to the mermaids. She could still hear one speaking angrily: "Why does she get to play with the handsome boy?" Wendy had to giggle again. Handsome? Peter Pan? She hadn't thought about that yet but reconsidered it. He stopped abruptly and turned to look at her, still frowning. She looked at his chestnut brown hair and took a closer look at his face. Yes, he was handsome, when he smiled. "What's wrong?", she asked. "They're so annoying. Now you know why I don't like mermaids." "I think they just want to have fun. I had fun with them." Peter Pan noticed Wendy's wet hair, dripping water onto the ground and their feet. "Whatever. I can't stand them.", he murmured. Wendy rolled her eyes. "I feel like you love and hate Neverland at the same time." He looked thoughtful for a second then agreed: "Guess that's true. I want to show you another beach- without mermaids." Then he stalked off and Wendy followed through the jungle. Both remained quiet while walking but Wendy sensed that Peter Pan was somehow... different.

At last the jungle was brightened by the last few sun rays of the day as they reached another beach. The sky was radiant, like a painting, colored in red, orange and purple. "This is it. This is my favorite beach.", Peter Pan turned to Wendy and smiled. "Wow, it's... stunning.", she was baffled by the sight of it. The water was darker now but they both heard the waves crash loudly and felt the ocean breeze in their hair. Wendy Darling inhaled and exhaled loudly, closing her eyes. "What are you doing?", Pan asked irritated. "Breathing.", now looking directly into his eyes she continued, "Thank you. For this. For letting me breath the ocean air. I needed it." She smiled softly, but genuinely. He shifted his feet in the sand, an almost nervous gesture, his face was darkened. Looking at the ground and speaking very quietly, he uttered: "Don't you ever think it was foolish of you to come here, to Neverland?" Suddenly Wendy knew what was different about him. He seemed almost vulnerable. She had never experienced him like this but somehow, in his insecurity she found her confidence. "It was foolish of me, for sure. But I would have followed you everywhere." Surprised he looked her with a pained expression. "Why?" Wendy smiled. "You charmed me." Pan scoffed and kicked a rock into the water. "Well, now you know I'm a monster." "But I also know that's not all you are."                                    

This emotional Peter Pan was new and surprising to Wendy but she found liking in him. Whatever he was, he was still human and to her it seemed like he was very lonely. "I can't understand how you can be so kind to me, after what I've done. I will never understand." "Well I don't understand myself. I believe that people change. You can change too, if you want to." Pan's forehead wrinkled, he thought hard about what she just said. He stepped away from Wendy, his feet touching the water. Then he turned back to her, regaining his posture. "It's curious, I've never been much around girls. In fact, barely ever. That is why I'm never sure how to act around you. The only piece of advice I've ever gotten about women is that one should act as a gentleman. But given my reputation and everything that I've done, I think that's hardly possible." He looked somewhat sad about the fact that he couldn't be a gentleman. That was odd. He was always happy to be the villain, right? "That's not important. Just try your best. You don't have to be a gentleman for me to like you. You've already noticed that.", Wendy said. The answer surprised him. He always knew what to expect from everyone. But he did not expect this answer. Wendy continued: "I can't say the same, I've always been much around boys...my brothers..." She looked very sad when she thought of them and it pained her heart to be separated from them for such a long time. "Do you miss them much?" , he asked, almost softly. "Yes, of course! I think of them everyday! Why are you still keeping me here?" , her sadness turned into anger and she spat out the words with a demanding tone. After a few moments of staring at Pan angrily, her anger dissolved and the sadness returned. She didn't want him to see her cry and desperately tried to hold back the tears. Eventually, she gave up and let the salty tears roll down her cheeks, even dripping onto the sand as they fell from her face. All the pain of the last months washed away with her tears. She knew it would come back but it felt good to let the pain go for at least a few minutes.


Peter stood there confused, for he had never seen a girl cry before and was unsure how to react. He chose to simply answer her question, why he was still keeping her here. He took a step forward, now standing so close to the crying Wendy that their faces were only inches away from each other. He slowly put his hand on her cheek and wiped away the tears, touching her soft cheek over and over again. Pan's own soft voice surprised him as he said: "I'm keeping you here because I need you. More than you could ever know. I need your humanity. You're the only thing keeping me sane." He wasn't used to speaking the truth, but here it was. Unfiltered and raw and above all: true. She lifted her head and stopped crying suddenly. She looked him in the eyes, unbelieving. Peter returned her gaze and continued: "Your presence makes me feel....good. Like I don't have to be myself anymore. Like I could be someone else....with you."                                                                                                                                                                        

Amazed by the beauty of his words, words she never thought he could express, she leaned closer to him. She could feel his warm breath on her nose now. Then she leaned in even closer and pressed her lips on his. Astonished by her kiss, Peter jumped back a little, breaking the liplock. But he regretted his reflex immediately and kissed her back again, keeping his one hand on her cheek and letting the other hand wander over her shoulders and back. Crack! Fireworks in their hearts, dancing behind their closed eyes. Never had they both been kissed and the surprise and happiness showed through their kisses which got more and more passionate. Like standing at an edge and looking down, they felt the rush in their bodies. Mortality and Immortality were close by. Wendy never wanted to stop. An unknown wave of happiness surged through Peter and he was amazed at this new feeling. He never thought that Wendy's lips would feel so good. His heart raced and so did hers, pumping through her chest hard. Fading in, fading out, the intensity of their kisses was still building, for both did not want to stop this heaven. After several minutes of intense kissing, Peter slowly broke the kiss and they gazed into each others eyes, an astonished smile on their lips at what had happened.
It was dark now at the beach and the stars were out, glinting far away in the universe. The breeze was colder now and a gust of wind tangled Wendy's hair and blew it into Peter's face. He touched a strand of her hair, tucked it behind her ear and closed his arms around her. Being nearly the same height, they looked into each other eyes while embracing. Their thoughts were running wild. 'She has the most beautiful eyes. Blue as the sea, no they're as blue as the sky. No, they can't be compared to anything else. They're unique.' Wendy was thinking similar thoughts: 'His eyes are of the most beautiful green I've ever seen. Emerald green. But much more precious than an emerald.' The admiration in their eyes was proof enough that something exceptional had happened.

See the flames inside my eyes,
It burns so bright, I wanna feel your love
Easy baby, maybe I'm a liar
But for tonight I wanna fall in love
Ed Sheeran-I'm a Mess

Chapter Text

You found me dressed in black, hiding way up at the back

Life had broken my heart into pieces

You took my hand in yours, you started breaking down my walls

and you covered my heart in kisses


I thought life passed me by,

missed my tears, ignored my cries

Life had broken my heart, my spirit

And then you crossed my path,

you quelled my fears, you made me laugh

then you covered my heart in kisses
Sia- Dressed in Black

 

The sound of chirping birds woke Wendy the next morning. Lights and shadows danced on the ceiling, leaving her in a dream-like state. The images of the past night were still flickering in front of her inner eye. She and Peter by the beach, standing close to each other, kissing. Peter flying back to the treehouse and Wendy holding onto him tightly. Wendy Darling was convinced this was a dream until she opened her eyes. The impressions and feelings from last night flooded her brain and she knew, she immediately knew it had really happened. Smiling, she stood up and put her new blue-green dress on.

A thump from the window made her twirl and she grinned when she saw it was Peter. "Already up, Wendy-Bird?", he asked and grinned. She laughed and walked towards him. "Oh, so now I'm your bird?" Pan touched her waist softly, his right hand caressing her cheek. "You have always been." And his lips were on hers again, the pair of them kissing passionately in the hidden treehouse. Unconsciously they both moved closer towards the narrow bed until Wendy fell backwards into the bed, laughing and exclaimed: "I just got up!" Peter smirked. The feel of skin, the closeness of another person. Things they had been deprived of so long, human desires that were surfacing now. Still kissing, Peter's hand touched her arms over and over, then moving to her legs. He loved the feeling of Wendy running her hands through his hair. For a brief moment they broke the kiss, only to laugh and Peter caressed her neck with soft, small kisses, making her giggle even more. He held her head in his hands now, kissing her lips again with an intense passion. Suddenly Peter Pan jumped up, leaving Wendy startled on the bed. "What's wrong?", she gasped. "Nothing, it's time for breakfast. You have to meet the lost boys." Pan smiled at her sincerely and reached out his arm, helping her up. Wendy chuckled. He was still a boy after all and changed his mind with the wind. She was mesmerized by his aura today, light and cheerful, yet adventurous. He was beginning to resemble the boy she had met all those years ago at her window again. Maybe what had happened between that first day and yesterday had all just been a bad dream.


The smell of fried eggs filled the air and the earth seemed to be vibrating with the thumping of many feet. Peter was making his way through the jungle to the camp of the lost boys, holding Wendy's hand beside him, who was excited but also anxious about being in a larger group of people again. She had known the lost boys well until her imprisonment yet now she found herself struggling to remember their names. The noises of the camp became louder until the forest grew lighter and revealed a large and round plaza, filled with almost 15 boys. In the center of the circle was a big campfire where a boy was cooking. The hammocks in which some boys were still sleeping, were located at the edge of the camp, almost growing into the jungle. As soon as the boys caught sight of Peter Pan, they went silent and the camp noises disappeared instantly, except the eggs still sizzling in the pan. Peter raised his voice: "Attention everyone! Today we welcome back Wendy Darling, not as a prisoner but as our guest again!" He took her hand and raised it triumphantly, signaling a success to the boys. Very surprised they looked at each other but started clapping.          

Wendy smiled and immediately knew what being in a group felt like again. She felt more human than when she was isolated, more complete. Peter Pan grinned childishly and shouted: "And now breakfast for all of us!" The boys scrambled again and hurried to get everything ready for the morning meal. Pan enjoyed his power over them, being the leader felt normal to him, it was in his nature. Soon all the Lost boys were settled around the campfire on logs of wood and munched on fried eggs and bread, washed down with a special Neverland juice, its ingredients were unknown but it was delicious nevertheless. The lot of them were chatting happily, maybe because a girl was with them again, an exciting change for most of them. Wendy noticed that there were new faces she hadn't seen yet, boys that had come to the island recently and they eyed her very cautious and curiously. While eating, she met eyes with Felix, Pan's most loyal devotee. He glared at her angrily and she looked away quickly. Wendy remembered him as the cruelest and vowed to herself to avoid him at all terms. Peter's hand touched her fingers on the log of wood they were sitting on and they smiled at each other briefly. Never had Wendy thought that her return to the group would be like this, with Peter close by her side. The touch of his hand caused excited tingles in her stomach and suddenly she wanted to be alone with him again. But for now, she was happy to be with the Lost Boys around the campfire, in a safe place, almost a home.

After breakfast, the group split up: Some of the boys left the camp, some stayed and some were unsure what to do. Peter was content, glaring at Wendy almost every second, a happy smirk in his face. "What is it?", she laughed, noticing his gaze. "Nothing, you're just so beautiful, Darling.", he grinned and stroked a dark blonde hair strand of hers and tucked it behind her ear softly. A wide smile spread over her face and her blue eyes gleamed. "I'm your darling now?" "That's your name. You've always been my Darling and you know that." He chuckled. Yes, he was very handsome, Wendy admitted to herself. Even more so when he was happy. Then he had that glow from the inside, that made it impossible not to smile. He's charmed me once again. Peter spoke again, a little quicker this time: "I just remembered something I have to do. I have to go now, but it won't be long, I promise." He looked around to check that no one was watching and then planted a quick but soft kiss on Wendy's cheek. Then he left for the forest but changed his mind and simply began to rise off the ground, glancing at Wendy one last time before he flew off. Wendy stood there, starstruck by the King of Neverland, the boy that could fly.


 


Peter Pan had finished renewing Neverlands invisible protection borders, a duty he was forced to do every once in a while. It drained his powers a little, but was necessary so that no one could invade or leave his realm without his permission. He stood on a rocky shore now, watching the enormous Skull Rock in the water in front of him. Unable to resist, he flew to the top of Skull Rock and settled there, it was one of his favorite places on the island because he was high up and could see his green paradise. Maybe, he thought, I can bring Wendy up here some time. She'd like it. Yesterday and today were so different. Kissing her...it had brought out a part of him that was buried deep in his soul. A part that had nothing to do with magic. I don't feel like myself, but I feel good so it can't be wrong. She's so different from the Lost Boys. Maybe that's what I need. Pan noticed a tiny blue flower blooming on top of Skull Rock next to him. It was an absolutely impossible place for a flower to grow, yet it was there. He picked it and decided to give it to Wendy. Then he rose from the rock and flew into the jungle, walking his way back to the camp.


Just as Peter wanted to go back to Wendy, he crossed ways with Felix. Ignoring him, Peter kept walking but Felix spoke to him, making Pan stop to listen. Felix spoke quickly, as if there wasn't much time: "Should I put the girl back into her cage?", Felix asked. "She has a name.", Peter snorted angrily. How did he dare to speak of her like that? Felix rolled his eyes: " Fine. Shall I put Wendy back in her cage?" "No. She can sleep in the treehouse tonight.", Peter answered. "Extending her time out of the cage? That is not how we planned it. Don't tell me you've fallen for the girl.", Felix scoffed. He turned his head in disbelief. Shocked, Peter could not quite comprehend that his most loyal supporter Felix had actually dared to tell him this. Had Felix forgotten Pan's authority? Had he forgotten his power? But Peter was too confused to punish Felix. So he spoke clearly and loud: "I haven't fallen for her." Even though he felt a certain way about Wendy, a way he thought was impossible, he chose denial. Never would her tell anyone about his feelings. Besides, he was so much better at lying.

"I'm sorry Pan, it just felt like you're going soft." A fury rose inside Pan, quickly taking over his body and mind. Going soft? Him? He was Peter Pan, the boy that everyone feared, the boy that had done more evil things than anyone could possibly do in a lifetime! He was definitely not going soft, especially not because of a helpless, pathetic girl. He was not that weak. In his anger, he raised his hand and closed it slowly, clutching something invisible in the air. There was a certain pressure but he was strong enough to overcome it, his fingertips were almost touching his thumb. Felix breathed and coughed heavily, then he began to choke, sinking to his knees, his head turning red. His hands were at his throat, trying to remove the invisible grip, but Peter was stronger. Peter Pan smiled devilishly and enjoyed the pain he was causing Felix. He deserved every bit of it. After a minute or so, when Felix was choking so much he could not breath anymore, Peter realized he would die the next second. He also knew that somehow he depended on his loyalty. Felix got the dirty work done, things that Pan himself would never bother to do but were vital. He was more useful that the whole lot of the lost boys together. So he released his grip, not all at once, but slowly. Then Felix fell to the ground, coughing heavily and gasping for air at the same time. He was despicable. Peter smiled wickedly, satisfied with himself. Felix had to be reminded of Pan's power. That Felix was a guest on his island. And that he could end his life just with a wink of his hand. Pan squatted next to him while Felix was still choking and spoke very clearly: "I hope that you won't forget who's in charge here. Neither am I going soft, nor are you allowed to question my authority, my decisions and my power. You will always do exactly as I say. You may have a better position here than the rest of the lot, but don't get cocky, you're just a lost boy like the rest of them." He spat those words out with scorn. He stood up and kicked Felix. "Now get up!", he cried very loud and angrily. Slowly, Felix began to retreat, his lip bleeding from the kick and his throat swollen from the choking. His eyes were dark and angry, but he belonged to Pan, so he could do nothing but look at him with hate gleaming in his eyes. Peter looked at him disgusted and despised him completly. He screamed at Felix: "Now go! Get out of my sight! And lock the girl in her cage!"