Maura Isles sat down on the side of her bed. She was physically and mentally drained. It felt as if she hadn’t slept in over a week. As a doctor she knew the signs, she was starting to crash. Her body needed both sleep. If it hadn’t been for Angela she doubt that she would have lasted this long. Angela. Maura smiled thinking about Jane’s mother fondly. Trust her to start cooking in a crisis and ensuring that everyone was fed. Maura sighed and fell back unto the bed. Promising herself that she would just rest a minute before taking a shower.
She woke with a start. She felt confused and her mind was sluggish to start functioning normally. Slowly reality started to filter through:
Jane's been shot.
She nearly died.
She did die.
She flat lined.
Two minutes. One hundred and twenty seconds.
She was dead for at least two minutes before the doctors in the ER could bring her back. Never in her life had Maura Isles ever been so scared before. All the knowledge she had accumulated could not prepare her for the panic and helplessness that engulfed her during those two minutes. They say that a person’s life flashes before their eyes when experiencing near death situations. Being a scientist Maura had always believed it was just a mere expression, but when Jane died…
Every moment spent with her flashed through her mind. Minute details of Jane Rizzoli were etched into her mind’s eye for eternity it seems. That exasperating eye roll, the trademarked Rizzoli stare, the dimple in her chin, her smile, her laughter and her voice.
Jane's cries filtered through Maura's awareness. She sat up dragging a hand through her hair. Then reality came flooding back. Jane was calling her. She rushed out of the main bedroom down the hall to the guest bedroom.
“No, leave her alone!”
Maura rushed to her bedside and realised that Jane was having a nightmare. She was trashing around on the bed wildly. Moaning loudly her hands clenched into tight balls on the sheets. Still breathing heavily from the mad dash into the room, Maura sat down on the side of the bed.
“Jane… it’s ok. I’m here. You’re having a bad dream.” Maura whispered and ran a hand lightly across Jane’s forehead. Smoothing the brown curls away from Jane’s furrowed brow. Jane seemed to calm at her touch. Maura continued to whisper her name while tracing her fingers over the worried line on Jane’s forehead. Suddenly Jane sat up straight startling Maura. Her eyes were open, but unfocussed. “Maura…” she moaned again.
“I’m right here Jane”, Maura said a little louder this time. Fingers dug into her shoulder as Jane roughly pulled her closer. “It’s ok, you were just having a…” The hand on her shoulder snaked to her neck and possessively pulled her closer. Maura gasped as Jane’s mouth met hers and her tongue found its way into her parted lips.
Maura became aware of the way Jane’s fingers were tracing along her jawline. Her breathing became ragged and a slow fire started to form in the pit of her stomach. She found herself kissing back. Running her hand through Jane’s curls. “Jane…” she tried to say but it came out as a low guttural moan. At the sound Jane’s hand tilted her head back and her mouth made its way down her throat. While her other hand grabbed at her jaw her thumb rubbing hard against Maura’s lips. Maura couldn’t help herself. Her lips parted and she ran her tongue over Jane’s thumb before biting down lightly on the digit. A moan escaped Jane’s lips and her breathing caught slightly at the light pressure.
Their mouths found each other again and Maura felt like she was on fire. Arousal clouded her mind and she leaned against Jane. Jane’s hands dropped away and she flinched as another moan escaped her lips, not in pleasure but in pain. Her head hit the pillows and she flailed from side to side. It took Maura a minute to realize that Jane was still asleep. That she had never really woken up in the first place. Placing a steading hand on her chest Maura willed herself to calm down. She was breathing deeply to get as much oxygen as possible into her lungs and body. As her breathing steadied she reached over to the night stand. Grabbing the pain pills prescribed to Jane.
Gently shaking Jane’s shoulder she woke Jane. “Jane, Jane. You need to wake up. It’s time for your medicine.”
It is not often that Maura Isles loses her composure. As she leans against the wall in the hallway she holds up her hands and watches them tremble uncontrollably. She wills them to stop, but to no avail. Finally she drags herself up straight and gives herself a mental shake. It was the medicine combined with pain and sleep, that’s all. She tries to convince herself again. Jane is straight. She has never looked at any woman, including herself, in a way that could be seen as inappropriate. Jane is straight.
Slowly walking towards the kitchen Maura sighed. She knew herself. She would be unable to sleep tonight. Might as well put the kettle on and brew herself a pot of tea. The familiarity of the task settles her nerves. Rationality slowly returns. As she leans over the counter and takes the first sip of the soothing liquid, Maura turns the events of the last two weeks over in her mind.