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How Deep Is Your Love

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It was an early monday morning in the Clark´s residence. Maddison Clark, a forty five year old high school counselor, was roaming around impatiently waiting for her daughter, who´s five more minutes of sleep turned out to be thirty and meant both of them would be, again, late for school.

"Lex.. come on, come on!," Maddy hurried her daughter while knocking on the bathroom door. "We have to go!".

"Give me two minutes!," Lexa answered from the other side.

"You should´ve been ready thirty minutes ago, now let´s go!". Maddy said heading to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.

"Done!, I fixed it!," Travis, Maddy´s boyfriend, said standing from under the sink. He´s been trying to fix the plumbing for two etire days. "We just saved two hundred dollars, how awsome am I?," He hugged the blonde woman and kissed her lips.

"Mmm, we´ll see about that.." She shook her head and returned the kiss with a smile.

Travis recently moved in with them. They have been dating for a little over a year and both felt it was the right move since they loved each other. Though they still had trouble convincing her teenage children that they could become a happy family.

Soon they were interrupted by the sound of the telephone. Maddy removed herself from his arms and took the call. "Hello?,"
Travis watched the interaction closely. "Yes, I´m Maddison Clark.... you did?.....Where is him again?.... ok, thank you. I´m on my way". She ended the call sighing deeply.

"Everything ok?," Travis asked concerned.

"They found Nick, he´s at the hospital..." Maddy replied, a mix of relief and worry written in her face.

Lexa appeared in the room, standing at the door, fully clothed, hair towel in hand. She remained quiet, expecting her mother´s explaination. Nick, her older brother, had been gone for almost two weeks with no news of his whereabouts. Due to his drug addiction and his incapability of overcoming his dependency Nick started suffering some depression. It has kept the family on edge, not knowing where he´s been or if he´s ok. Maddison had signed him into different recovery center over the last two years, but with no positive outcome whatsoever, since he escaped from every single one of them.

"Apparently he was in some sort of accident... We´ll get more information when we get there." The blonde expressed. "Please Lex, get your things so we can go" The blonde woman pleaded.

"Sure mom" The girl complied and walked past the couple.

A few seconds of silence took place. "Everything will be alright babe," Travis then said conforting his lover.

Maddy hid her face on his chest. "I hope so".

 

 

Twenty minutes later they arrived to the hospital and rushed to the front desk. Soon a nurse led them to Nick´s room, where they found him strapped to the hospital bed, covered in cuts and bruises and still under the effects of drugs. Two police officers where standing next to the bed, one of them holding a notebook, aparently doing some sort of interrogation. They were startled by Maddy´s intrusion, who angrily force them out of the room claiming her son was in no condition of doing any stament, not with a lack of a formal accusation.

Lexa remained in the background watching the interaction between her mother and brother. She had seen this a dozen times before, it always ended the same way. Nick would touch bottom, ask for help, making promises of doing better in the future only to fall back again on the same unhealthy track. Lexa loved her brother, but she did no longer trusted his word. And as this topic would bring yet another disagreement with her mother, Lexa decided to wait for her outside the room. She had problems of her own, she didn´t need to add more to the list.

Almost an hour later Madison walked out of her son´s room. The boy had to remain under medical observation for a couple of days, he needed to get rid of the toxins and then get evaluated by a psychiatrist before his release since he´s been rambling inconsistently about dead people, blood and more nonsense. "Let´s go Lex," The blonde woman led the girl toward the exit. "Travis will stay while we are at school."

"Wow, bonding with the step son?," Lexa chuckled walking beside her mother "Gotta take advantage while he´s drugged and bound to the bed."

Maddy glare at the girl. "Don´t be mean!," she said giving a light push to her daughter, who laughed. "He´s trying, ok?. You could give him a chance". Maddy never pushed any of her children on pretending to like Travis, but her biggest desire was for them to get along.

"He has to earn it," Lexa replied trying to sound serious, she sometimes liked to work her mother up for fun.

Maddy eyed her incredulous. "How?, you don´t give him the time of day..."

Lexa laughed at that "well.. for starters he should stop imposing his man of the house actitud.. I mean, since when does he know how to fix a sink?" She questioned her mother. "He´s just showing off for you... I dont like that"

Maddy laughed out loud "Now you sound like a jealous little kid... You´re not jealous are you?," She eyed her daughter mocking her.

"Of course I´m not," Lexa feigned desinterest while looking away. "but someone´s gotta look out for you ". She picked up her pace as she exited the building, implying her intention of finishing the topic.

The older woman shook her head at her daugther´s actitud "well, even though you deny it, I still notice a little hint of jealousy there and it is very sweet of you..." She said with a smile.

"God mom, stop." Lexa grunted and opened the passenger door of the car, she was definitely not sweet. "Get in the car.... and stop smiling like that". She finished closing the door.

At that Maddy couldn´t help but burst out laughing again. "ok, I´m sorry," She sat in the drivers side and started the engine. "I love you baby," She said looking at Lexa, who just rolled her eyes. "ok, ok... I´m done!. Let´s get out of here."

 

Coming to school has been a burden for Lexa lately. She´s a good student, getting good grades was not hard for her. Some people would say she was a bit of a nerd, on her opinion she just liked to read a lot. The brunette liked to keep a low profile at school even though a lot of people knew her for her involvement in sports. It was not her intention to have such participation, but since the athetics coach saw her , a few years ago, running around school grounds trying to get to a class she was an hour late for, he convinced her she could be a great asset to the schools track team. And after seeing her beat the male´s team in her first tryout he was more than eager to recruit her. It never crossed her mind that she had these sort of skills, but after a while of training she found running a great stress relief way and at the end she learned to love it. Lexa was not very good at showing or expressing her feelings, so every time she felt overwhelmed or needed to get away from everyone she ran to clear her head.
So yeah, most of the time Lexa did enjoy coming to school and the main reason was that she got to spend time with her favorite person in the world and love of her life: Clarke Griffin. But these last two weeks hadn´t been the best for Lexa, since they were going through a rough patch. A lot of things hapened in a short amount of time, things they both were trying to figure out. And the hardest part was having to stay away, since Clarke told her she needed time to process things.

Lexa parted ways with her mother, she was supposed to be in English at the moment but she was already late so she decided to skip and try her luck and find her girlfriend.

Clarke Griffin and Lexa met when they were children, they grew up in the same neighborhood and became best friends, just like their mothers. They went to the same elementary school and shared the same groups of friends, they used to live in each other houses growing up so it was no surprise when they finally got toghether romanticly. It didn´t happen so easily though, cause just as they were discovering these feelings at their early teenage years, Clarke´s family had to move half across the country due to her mother´s career. So they were left with too many unclear feelings to reveal, a lot of things left to say and not enough time.
Lexa was mad at the whole situation and in the course of six months they lost touch and Lexa ended up convincing herself it was better to move on cause probably they wouldn´t see each other again. She thought it wasn´t worth relying on false hope.
She dated a few girls at the time, nothing serious, until at fifteen she met the girl who became her first girlfriend. Costia Matheson, beautiful blue-eyed brunette, with a smile that could light up a room, was the first girl to steal Lexa´s atention. Lexa often found herself distracted watching the girl walk through the schools corridors, she had a mesmerizing personality. One day, at her brother´s seventeenth birthday party, Lexa finally got the courage (after a few drinks of motivation) to speak to Costia. The girl was Nick´s classmate and he had invited her so Lexa could make her move. It was awkward at first since Lexa was a nervous wreck and didn´t seem to form a coherent sentence and probably would have ran away if Costia had not turned out to be melted by the Lexa´s sweet approach. After two dates Lexa decided to act on her feelings and ask Costia to be her girlfriend, who accepted without a doubt. They were happily together for almost two years, but the relationship was affected by an unexpected turn of events, or to be more exact, because of someone´s comeback.

 

*Flashback*

The sun was high, shining strongly that saturday morning. A thick sheen of sweat covered her skin as Lexa raced fast through the familiar neighbourhood. There was a light breeze that helped cool down the high temperature that ran through her burning muscles, that only encouraged her to pick up her pace. She passed the last few houses until hers came into view. It was pretty quiet at that hour of day, and Lexa enjoyed the tranquility it provided. She knew most kids her age would call her crazy to be up that early on a weekend but she really needed to mantain her strength and resistance and keep her good physical condition. Wich actually became amazingly fit with the new training her coach was putting her through, lifting weight had increased her body structure exponentially in little time (she had to keep up with the boy´s level to stay on the team).
Lexa stopped in front of her house, hands on her hips, taking a minute to catch her breath. She then walked into the kitchen and spotted her mother pouring coffee in a few cups. "Hey, I´m glad you´re back!" The woman said excited.

Lexa raised a finger and hummed in response heading for the fridge. She could not talk with a dry throat. She grabbed a water bottle and inmediatly emptied half of it in a gulp. "I´m gonna take a shower," She informed passing a hand through her hair as she started walking out of the room.

"No, no ,no!" The blonde rapidly stopped her by the arm "come here, there´s something I wan-" She was suddenly cut by someone´s appearance at the kitchen entrance.

"Oh my god!" Abigail Griffin gasped placing a hand over her mouth, while inspecting the young girl in front of her "Lexa, look at you!"

Lexa turned toward the intruders and froze in the spot. Her breath was caught in her throat as the time seemed to stop it´s course when she focused on the young blonde standing next to Abby.
Holly shit! she thought. In front of her was the most beautiful creature she had ever laid eyes on. Her heart started beating out of her chest and Lexa was sure it could be heard in the entire house.

In the absence of response from her daughter and noticing the shock on her face, Maddy interceded "Honey, aren´t you going to say hi?"

Lexa forced herself out of her trance when she noticed three pair of eyes on her, -"huh?, I´m not- uhm" Her face turned bright red at her sudden stuttering. She turned to her mother begging for help.

"We sure catch you off guard, huh?" Maddy said rubbing the girls arm. "You remember Abby and Clarke, right?".

Off course I remember, Lexa thought...

"I´m sorry we surprised you like that, Lexa." Abby said in advance with a kind smile on her face. "But we really wanted to see you guys after all this time, right honey?" She finished giving Clarke a nod of encouragement.

"Yes, it´s really good to be back..." Clarke said looking straight to Lexa´s eyes after scanning the taller girl´s toned body. "I´m happy to see you again Lexa" she said biting her lip while smiling.

Clarke experienced her fair share of detachment feelings years ago too but the truth was she started to facebook stalk Lexa when her parents told her they were moving back to her hometown and she was not against being part of Lexa´s life again, as a matter of fact Clarke was very much looking foward to claim her taken right into Lexa´s heart, and there was nothing and no one who would get in her way.

Lexa found herself unconsciously staring at the girls lips before averting her eyes. She chastised herself mentally while trying to voice her mind "uhmm- yeah it´s g- hmm- I mean, it´s good...". What an idiot!,. She could´t believe how childish she was acting. It was embarrassing the state a girl (and not just any girl, it was Clarke, childhood friend Clarke!) had manage to put her in.

Noticing the discomfort on the brunette Clarke couldn´t help but let out a small laugh "I see you still stutter when you´re nervous," she smirked walking closer to the other girl, who just remained still, mouth half open. When they were close enough Clarke stood on the tip of her toes and sweetly kissed her cheek. "some things just never change..." she finished with half a whisper, blue intently fixated on green eyes.

Lexa seemed to get lost in the blonde´s closeness and intoxicating perfume, because she definitely missed the knowing looks that were exchanged between the older women standing in the room.

"So... about that coffee?" Maddy broke the silence inviting the guests to take a seat around the kitchen table and Lexa took this chance to distance herself from Clarke, remembering her clothes were drenched with sweat.

"Yes, please!" Abby agreed following her friend.

Lexa excused herself to freshen up, joining back minutes later. Only to be struck by the news that the Griffin family was back for good. Apparently they were not able to settle in the other city, so after discussing the matter properly and encouraged by the fact that their old house would be available, they decided to move back.
Throughout the conversation Lexa kept stealing glances of her old friend, trying to decide if these were or not good news. Even though Lexa was glad that Clarke was back, she just couldn´t shake the thought that it could mean trouble for her, cause with only minutes into being in her presence she was already a disfunctional mess (and it was unacceptable, she had a girlfriend). Lexa couldn´t deny Clarke was beautiful, she always had been, but now, years later, they were no longer little kids and the atraction was undeniable.
Lexa let out a deafeated sigh. She was indeed in deep trouble...

 

*End of flashback*

 

As she arrived at the school´s football field bleachers she spoted the blonde locks from afar. Clarke was working on a art project for her senior year. It consisted on painting a mural along the wall next to the bleachers stairs. The girl was standing over a ladder, hands holding a painting gun.

"Hey there," Lexa said calling the girl´s attention as she took a look at the blonde´s work. "it looks great".

Clarke stared back at the brunette and then back at her work. "Not my favourite one so far... but I´ll be happy as soon as I´m done with it"

"Well, I still think it look´s great." Lexa shoved her hands inside her pockets and averted her eyes thinking what else to say. Lately their relationship was full of these uncomfortable silent moments. Where neither one of them knew what to say. Lexa agreed to Clarke´s request of space but she knew sooner or later they would have to stop avoiding the subject and talk but she still didn´t like the idea of pushing Clarke about it. Lexa turned around a took a seat on the bleachers focusing her eyes on the kids playing on the field.

Clarke discarded her tools and taking deep breath she walked over to Lexa. She hated to see Lexa so down and vulnerable. She hated being away from her. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around her and kiss her senseless. But Clarke felt they needed to solve a few things before it came to that. Because that´s what grown ups do, right?.
She took a seat next to Lexa and found herself admiring her beautiful features. "How are you?"

"Been better..." Lexa started but then corrected herself as she didn´t want to make Clarke feel guilty about anything. "I´m ok..." She nodded. "and you?"

"Fine" The blonde affirmed but it sounded more like a question. After a few seconds of silence Clarke tried to change the subject. "Shouldn´t you be in class?"

"I was too late to go in"

Clarked let out a chuckle. "It´s the third time in two weeks!"

"Mhm, I know, but today it wasn´t my fault" She sighed. "They found Nick..."

"Oh, really?" The blonde asked hopeful.

"Yeah... the hospital called home this morning to inform that they admited Nick after he was hit by a car. Apparently he was running in the streets under the effects of drugs." Lexa explained, sad smile on her face and eyes stuck on the ground. "doctors had to restrain him cause he had a psychotic outbreak and was hurting himself or something..." .

Clarke was able to feel Lexa´s pain in her voice. It was heartbreaking and she could no longer bear the distance between them so she place a soothing hand on the girl´s cheek. "I´m so sorry Lex...". The brunette girl leaned on the touch as she closed her eyes. Blue eyes softened at Lexa´s response as she removed her hand, the conection ending way to soon. "How long does he has to stay there?".

"I´m not sure. I guess until he´s clean and after he gets evaluated by a psychiatric... Mom said he kept talking about how his friend killed a man. Well, not just killed him, he said she ate him," Lexa looked at Clarke, who remained quiet as urging her to continue. "Mom is actually concerned that he´s losing his mind." She gave a light chucke. "Who knows... maybe he is".

"You can´t think like that. Nick has an addiction that´s really hard for him to overcome. But he is a good guy and he needs our support. He will get through this Lex" She affirmed rubbing Lexa´s arm affectionately. "Don´t give up on him..."

Lexa nodded and turned to look into those blue orbes she deeply loved. It was incredible how easy she could get lost in them. "I miss you..." The words slipped out of her mouth but denying the truth was hard when they were so close to each other, and especially when they had almost no contact in two weeks.

And truth be told, Clarke had no more willpower to keep this situation going. She missed Lexa too and being away from her has been a nightmare. There has never been a doubt in her that Lexa was her true love, her forever and there was nothing in the world that could tear them apart. She was ready to try and fix things. "I miss you too," She said sincerely. "I´m ready to talk things out..."

Lexa´s face brightened. "You are?"

"Yeah, if you´re up to it"

"Yeah!.. sure- I mean, yes. I´m up for it". She answered tumbling over her words, clearly excited.

Clarke smiled lovingly at the girl, delighted by her cuteness. "Okay, how about tomorrow after school?"

"Tomorrow after school it is then."

"We could meet at the skate park on the beach. Maybe take a walk by the shore?"

"Yeah, that sounds great"

"Okay, then... Now I really should get back to work," Clarke said standing up gesturing to her unfinished project. "and you definitely should go back to class." She scolded.

"Sure, I´ll go." The green-eyed girl stood up and started walking backwards as she fastened the straps of her backback. A small grin on her face. "See you tomorrow.". She would be waiting impatiently for tomorrow.

 

In her way to her next class, Clarke was intercepted by her friend, who seemed anxiouss about something. "Hey Griff!" Octavia Blake called, once she catched the blonde she glanced both ways of the hall before speaking, almost in a whisper. "I have what you asked for..."

Clarke came to a halt and dragged her friend to a corner. "You brought it to school?" She asked alarmed.

"No!. Of course not" She defended herself. "I left it at home... Wanna go do it after school?"

"Yeah, I can´t waste any more time"

"Okay, Bellamy will pick us up after school" She said referring to her brother. "I´ll see you later". She gave the blonde a quick hug and started walking to her next subject.

"Thanks O!" Clarke said before parting ways.

 

Later on, at the Blake´s home, an anxious Clarke paced the short path of her friend´s bedroom, her hands clasped tightly over her chest. Octavia just sat on her bed observing the blonde´s behaviour trying to figure a way to intercede without agravating the situation. "Clarke, drink the water" the young Blake sibling tried.

Clarke let out a labored sigh. "I can´t do it, O..." She shook her head rapidly.

"Yes, you can..." She stated. "where is the brave, fearless girl I know, huh?". Octavia standed from her spot and walked to her friend, water bottle in hand. "Come on, drink this." She offered.

"I´m not brave..." She mutered while she accepted the bottle. "What am I going to do, O?". She asked with glassy eyes, searching reassurance in her best friend.

"Hey, hey, it´s okay" She rubbed the blonde´s arm. "First things first. You need to know for sure before you start freaking out without a reason. You are going to drink the water and then you are going to the bathroom and take the test". She observed as Clarke nodded. "Come sit with me" She dragged the blonde to the bed and both sat facing each other. "I´m gonna guess you haven´t talked to Lexa about this yet, right?"

Clarke shook her head before answering. "No... but we agreed to meet tomorrow after school". She remained silent for a minute remembering her earlier encounter with the green-eyed girl. "I´m going to tell her tomorrow". The statement felt more like self encouragement.

"That´s good. She needs to know..." Octavia stayed silent for a few seconds, battling in her head if she should voice her doubt. "What I don't understand is why you waited this long to talk to her about it. If there's one understanting human being in the world, that's Lexa. That girl would stand beside you even in the worst scenario you could possibly imagine." She poked the girl playfully, trying to lighten the mood. "Theres nothing that could tear you guys apart. You are meant for each other. Wich is disgusting by the way..." She faked a gagging noise as a laugh escaped Clarke's lips.

It has always been easy being around Octavia. The girl was like a fresh wave of energy, able to transmit joy to people without even trying. She liked to speak her mind, most times she did it unconsciously, but honesty was her biggest virtue. Octavia was formerly Lexa's friend, soon after Clarke moved back to the city and was introduced to the girl, they hit it off right away. Octavia became her confident and personal counselor. There was nothing they didn't know about each other.

"Ok... I think I´m ready to do this" Clarke said taking a deep breath.

"Go, go, you can do this!. We´ll see the result together". Octavia pushed her friend towards her bathroom. "I´ll wait right here..."

Clarke gave the brunette one last look before closing the bathroom door, ready to face her destiny.

Chapter Text

Something was definitely off. Starting by the fact that finding a clear spot to park the car, at the hospital parking lot, was getting surprisingly difficult that morning. Twenty five minutes, to be exact, took them to find one after circling the place over and over. If the irritated demeanor coming from Lexa was an indicator of how that day was going to be, then it would be a really hard one.
Not a second passed since Travis turned the engine off that Lexa was long gone to entering the building. With a huff Travis mentally told himself to be pacient and followed the girl.

 

"Wow!". Travis halted at the entrance when two nurses pushed a gurney in front of him at full speed, going toward the emergency room. "What the hell?" He asked taking a look at the sea of people roaming in the inside. People with masks on their faces sitting on the waiting room, some other argueing with the hospital workers, the place was pure caos.
Without wasting another minute Travis urged Lexa toward her brother´s room.

 

"Maddy, what is going on here?". Travis walked to the woman and hugged her. "this place is way to crowded"

 

"I´m not sure, but people have been coming nonestop since last night. Apparently there´s some virus going around"

 

"Doctor checked Nick already?"

 

"No, not yet. They are overwhelmed with the new pacients." Maddy informed as she greeted her daughter with a hug. "Good morning baby. Can you keep him company for a minute?". She said to Lexa referring the boy.

 

"Sure" Lexa hugged the woman back and then walked over to her brother as Travis and Madison left the room. Nick smiled at Lexa when she placed a table with hospital food close to him. "You hungry?"

 

"Yum.." Nick said amused.

 

Lexa sat next to him, on the bed, and tasted the jelly before feeding Nick with a spoon.

 

"How is my baby sis doing?" Nick asked after swallowing the content.

 

"Oh, you know... just perfect"

 

"Yeah?, tell that to your face then". Noticing the girl had no intention of explaining he continued. "Is everything okay with Clarke?". He knew he touched a soft spot when Lexa´s features changed at the question.

 

Lexa tried to ignore the subject by shoving the spoon into Nick´s mouth.

 

"Dude!. Are you trying to choke me?". Nick joked but Lexa kept her straight face. They have always been good friends, they even got closer after their father´s death. Lexa was complex, she could be the most lovable and stubborn person at the same time. She could be the most amazing, loyal friend you could ask for, if you were on her right side that is. If not it would be like fighting an unwinnable battle. And Nick knew her well, something was bothering her but the hardest part would be extracting it from her, because at that moment she was as closed as a shell. He knew he wasn´t perfect but he always did his best trying to protect his little sister. One of the things Nick wanted the most was to repair that bond with Lexa. He was really going to try this time. "What did you do this time?" He kept joking.

 

Lexa glared at him. "Why is it always ME the one-"

 

"Because your last name is Clark... It means trouble, little sister" Nick said with a smirk. "Na-uh.." He turned his head before Lexa could put the spoon back in his mouth. "What happened?"

 

Lexa dropped the cup and spoon on the table. She lowered her head, deep in thought. A long time passed since the last time she
had a conversation like this with her brother. Should she lower her guard and share her problems or keep dealing with them by herself?. When Lexa was about to open her mouth to start her speech Maddy entered back into the room with Travis.

 

"Honey, you think you can manage two hours by yourself?. Travis has to give a class and then he´ll come back here to make you company while I´m at work". Maddy said combing Nick´s hair with her fingers.

 

"Yeah, mom. I´ll be fine"

 

"I love you" She kissed Nick goodbye.

 

"And I love you." Nick then turned his atention back to Lexa. "We´ll talk later, okay?"

 

Lexa gave a small nod and joined the couple on the way out.

 

Parallely, as the hospital was exceeded with people, the school was deserted. Lots of students called in sick. The situation was agravating as the hours went by and authorities kept downplaying the issue regarding the new epidemic, almost denying it´s existence, so some people were wary and some other paranoid. The news were full with stories of gunfires in diferent parts of the city. Police were forced to reduce group of individuals for their aggressive behaviour wich was pressumed to be an effect of the virus that was going around.

 

"Oh my god" Mady gasped as she joined a group of coworkers in front of a tv in the teachers lounge. The news were showing how police shot down a homeless man and how he kept getting back up, walking menacingly toward them. "How is that possible?. He´s been shot at least a dozen times"

 

"There´s more cases like this all around the country. People are somehow getting infected by this virus but they are not giving further information" A coworker said.

 

"I know... a lot of people started coming in to the hospital since last night. There´s not enough room for everyone" Madison added. She then turned to Travis. "Maybe we shouldn´t have left Nick alone. What if something like that-" She pointed to the tv screen. "happens and we are not there to help him" Maddy said with anguish.

 

Travis set Maddy aside. "You know what this means, right? Nick´s story might be truth. Things are getting out of control and it´s only a matter of time before something really bad happens. I think we should go get Nick and go home until things are clarified. It´s not safe out there"

 

The school´s principal walked to the couple and informed them they were suspending classes until further notice. Kids would be taken home in buses to guarantee their safety.

 

Lexa sat in class when her mother appeared in her classroom asking the teacher permission to speak with her daughter. Lexa noticed right away something was up because it was unusual for Maddy to drag her out of class. When they stood in the hallway a voice broke through the speakers announcing the suspension of classes.

 

"What is going on, mom?"

 

"I need you to get in the bus and go home" Maddy said with a serious tone.

 

"Why?"

 

"Something serious is happening. I´ll explain when we get home but first me and Travis are going to get Nick"

 

"Does this has something to do with what they are showing in the news?"

 

Maddy took a look at the passing students then back at her daughter. In a hushed voice she continued. " Yes, but there´s no time to speak about it right now. Please, go straight home baby. I´ll see you later". She kissed her forehead and when the girl nodded Maddy walked away.

 

She needed to find Clarke. Lexa could not miss her chance to have her conversation with the girl. Lexa walked through the hallway, dodging the students that were coming out of classes. Room 606, that´s were Clarke was supposed to be, so Lexa waited at the door until she spotted Octavia in the sea of people. Both girls shared several classes together, so if Octavia was here then so should the blonde.

 

"Hey, O!" Lexa rushed to the girl. "Where´s Clarke?"

 

"Hey, Lex. She´s not here. We were supposed to have this class together but she texted saying she was delayed. Do you know why they are sending us home?" Octavia asked in a hurry as they were led out the building.

 

"Not exactly but I think is related with what is being shown in the news. I´m sure things will go back to normal in no time. But right now it´s not safe to be out there alone. Go home, okay?"

 

"You are not coming?" Octavia asked when she realized Lexa had no intention of boarding the bus in front of them.

 

"I have to find Clarke first. Then I´ll go home."

 

"Ok... I´m sure she´s fine. Still, let me know when you find her"

 

"Sure, bye O". Lexa stood next to the bus watching her friend go. Then she dialed Clarke´s number. After a few seconds said girl answered the call. "Clarke, where are you?"

 

"Hey, mom was driving me to school before she went to work but we got stuck on the highway. There was an accident and we had to wait until they cleared a path. I guess I´ll be the one late for school today". Clarke joked.

 

"Don´t come to school. They suspended classes and are sending everyone home"

 

"Oh, ok. Should we meet at the park where we agreed yesterday then?. I can ask my mom to drop me there."

 

Lexa paused to think if it was a good idea to hang in public areas at the moment. She decided they would catch a cab home as soon as they met. "Sure, I´ll wait for you there and then we´ll go home together".

 

 

Lexa leant on one of the park railings as she observed some kids practicing tricks on their bikes and skates. Her mind somewhere else. The nerves started to affect the rhythm of her heart as she ran different situations in her head regarding her encounter with Clarke. She rehearsed a speech, what to say and what not, things were cloudy between them already and she didn´t want to make them worse. She knew the moment Clarke stood in front of her, words would be hard to choose. The mere thought that a small chance of losing Clarke existed had Lexa on edge of crumbling. But it was all her fault they were in this situation, Lexa kept thinking. There was nothing she could do to change things, Clarke had the ultimate decision regarding their relationship.

 

Lexa raised her eyes, them landing on the beautiful girl that filled each and every single one of her thoughts. An odd fluttering sensation started up in her ribcage as time once again stopped, just like every time Clarke walked her way. If perfection had to be defined by Lexa, Clarke would be the exact description. There is no way in the world Lexa would flirt with the idea of losing this woman or hurt her, not willingly, she was her soulmate.

 

Clarke took her place close to Lexa, the brunette looked at her with a concerned expression, too tense as if not wanting to overstep by making the wrong move. Lexa was clearly unsure of where they stood. And God, did the brunette wanted to launch herself at Clarke after all this time and just forget about the rest of the world if even for a minute.

 

So Clarke reached closer and planted a soft kiss on the mute girl´s cheek.

 

"Did I made you wait too much?" . Clarke broke the silence.

 

It took a moment for Lexa´s brain to catch up to her mouth. "Yes" Lexa blurted, trying to joke but her restlessness made it sound too serious. She could not even banter at that point. " No, you didn´t. You wanna walk for a bit?" . Lexa offered motioning with her hand receiving a nod as response from Clarke.

 

They slow paced along the beach trail, side to side. The inner need of holding hands pushed back. They talked trivial topics as ice breaker and fleeting distraction.

 

Clarke felt no different from Lexa. She had her own insecurities on edge, so she appreciated Lexa´s patience. Their relationship has always been like this, patience and understanding as main factor.

 

"So..." Clarke started. "First of all I want to say thank you for the time you gave me. For not making me feel pressured..."

 

Lexa nodded in appreciation. Her full attention was on the blonde´s features until the device in her pocket started vibrating. She ignored it by pressing the divert call button.

 

"I had time to think properly about us and what is about to come..." Clarke notice Lexa´s hand fidgeting inside her pocket. "Wanna answer that?" Clarke said gesturing the cellphone.

 

"Definitely not" Lexa assured.

 

Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Not even gonna look who´s calling you?". The phone kept vibrating nonstop.

 

Lexa looked at the screen of her cellphone reading her mother´s name on it and she huffed. "It´s my mom" . She said like it was nothing and put her cell back in her pocket.

 

Clarke looked at her amused. "You can answer, I don´t mind"

 

"No, I don´t want to interrupt our conversation. I´ll call her later"

 

"Ok... as I was saying, In this last two weeks-" Clarke lost the thread of conversation as the anoying buzz in Lexa´s pocket returned.

 

"Fuck" Lexa said under her breath.

 

"Just take the call. It might be important" Clarke said with an understanding smile.

 

"Sorry..." Lexa said before answering the call.

 

Clarke stood watching closely as Lexa took a few steps aside to talk to her mother. She observed Lexa´s body language and chuckled to herself when she saw her get so worked up over trying to get rid of her mother. But soon Clarke´s amusement turned more serious when Lexa fixed her eyes on her portraying a worried look.

 

Lexa finished the call and before making her way back to the blonde, she took a long breath while closing her eyes for a moment as if regretting what was about to happen.

 

"I´m so sorry Clarke. Fuck- ..." Lexa looked both sides, exasperated. Shaking her head she continued. "I can´t do this right now. My mom just told me Nick is missing, again. He left the hospital without notice and now they are out looking for him. She want´s me home right now in case he goes there. This is bullshit..." She finished looking at the floor, clearly irritated.

 

"Hey, hey. It´s okay. We can talk some other time. Right now it´s more important to find Nick" Clarke tried to comfort the green-eyed girl, who shook her head in disagreement. "I know we are not in the best terms right now and that we owe ourselves a deep-serious conversation. We have a lot of things to talk about. And we will, ok? . But right now your mom and brother need you-"

 

"I need YOU... I need- I need US to be okay" Lexa interrupted the blonde.

 

That statement broke Clarke´s heart. She herself knew she needed Lexa just as bad, if not even more in her current situation. She also knew they would get to being together eventually but first they really needed to have said conversation. Important matters were are stake, there were things Lexa had the right to know and some others that had to be set under discussion.

 

"I know. We are going to be fine" She offered certainty. "Come here". She threw her arms around Lexa´s neck bringing them close in a tight hug, offering a much needed comfort. This closeness, with not an inch of space between them, felt like a fresh wave of reassurance. Like this simple action confirmed what she already knew, Lexa and her were meant for each other.

 

Lexa´s strong arms around her waist forced her to relay control and surrender to their inner longing. Clarke allowed herself to immerse in Lexa´s scent and warmth, and tried to retain, in her strong grip, every detail of this feeling hoping it would get her going for another day.

 

The separation came too soon, Clarke forced herself away before she could lose the little will she possessed, otherwise she would seize the opportunity to prolong the embrace. But the image she came to face was no better and a feeling of disappointment stirred in her chest. Those grey-green eyes turned dark and cold, clear sample of Lexa´s discomfort, frigid silent exasperation in every following movement.

 

It wasn´t often Lexa lowered her guard and showed herself this vulnerable. Some experiences in Lexa´s life have been overwhelming, like how the sudden death of her father send her spiraling down to a dark place turning her into a cold hearted asshole for a while and eventually resulting in the volatile close-off, pragmatic self sometimes and a lovable, sweet and caring different other when a catalyst, like Clarke, permitted her to open. Her family´s fragmentation after that forced the girl to come up with ways to protect herself and create this strong exterior Clarke despised so much but yet understood. The blonde knew that the sum of concerns Lexa was facing at the moment required strength, she just wished Lexa did not close this much.

 

After leaving Clarke at her own house, Lexa grabbed some food and then found herself dozing off in the couch. Later in the evening she woke up startled by the loud noise the front door made as it was being closed. Sitting up while removing the sleep out of her eyes, Lexa catched her brother scurrying urgently toward the bathroom. Not a second later the front door closed shut again, but this time Lexa´s mother appeared, face white pale.

 

"Mom? .. " Lexa started but Maddy cut her off.

 

"Can you check on your brother, please?" Maddy asked before turning to go back outside with no further explanation.

 

Lexa ignored the request and followed the woman. "What happened, mom?". Outside she saw Travis standing in front of his truck, holding a hose and washing away a blood stain from the hood. "What the hell.. Can someone tell me what the fuck happened?"

 

Travis exchanged a look with Madison. "You should tell her. I have to go get Chris but I´ll be back as soon as I can, ok?". He kissed Maddy on the forehead and then climbed the truck. Chris was Travis´s fifteen year old son, who lived with his mother.

 

Madison remained standing in place till Travis´s truck was out of sight. "Let´s get inside, baby. I´ll explain everything." Maddy said dragging Lexa inside the house.

 

Earlier, when Madison and Travis arrived at the hospital with the intention to sign Nick´s release, they found out that the boy was missing. He managed to free himself out of his restrains, taking advantage of the nurse´s distraction, and after stealing some man´s clothes he left the hospital.
Because of the recent events around the city, they knew they had to find Nick soon, he wasn´t safe out on his own. So after calling the police to report his disappearance Maddy and Travis drove through the places they suspected Nick could have gone to. One of those places was the house of his friend Calvin. Nick and Calvin went to school together and became good friends along the years until Nick started straying off because of his drug addiction. Calvin assured Maddy he hasn´t seen Nick in a while but he would make everything in his power to beg him to return home. Not even two hours later Maddison received a call from Nick, asking her to pick him up at some strange address near a bridge. When they got there Maddy enveloped him in a bruising hug as the boy tried to explain in a panicked ramble how he, unintentionally, killed his friend Calvin, the very same friend she visited prior hours.

 

Nick told her how he arranged a meeting with his drug dealer to ask him about the drugs he baught before the accident. Nick needed to know if those drugs were altered and if them were the cause of his lunatic outbreak. Calvin must´ve freaked out by the visit Nick´s parent paid him and hearing the police was involved set him off to take care of any trouble that could compromise his business so he agreed to meet with Nick when the boy called him. Calvin picked Nick up in his car and drove him toward a secluded area with the promise of proving him the drugs were clean but secretly Calvin intended to use a gun hidden in the back of his waist to erase any threat that could jeopardize his business. When Nick saw the gun he guessed Calvin´s intention and tried to defend himself, so they struggled and the gun went off accidentally resulting in Calvin´s death.

 

"Ok... that still doesn´t explain the blood on Travis´s truck". Lexa said following her mother into the kitchen.

 

Maddy turned her back on her daughter as she tried to hide her trembling hands. She took a minute to find the right words to explain what happened with Calvin. Everything seemed so surreal, like a bad dream that just kept getting worse as the minutes went by.
Taking a deep breath Madison turned around and faced the girl. "When Nick took us to the place where Calvin´s body was supposed to be... He- He wasn´t-..." She shook her head, insecure of her next words.

 

"He what, mom?" Lexa pressured.

 

"He wasn´t dead..." Maddy frowned and clenched her jaw. "It was exactly like what they show in the news. I- I didn´t want to believe it but..."

 

"What are you saying?. That- dead people are coming back?. You know that sounds crazy, right?" Lexa said in disbelief.

 

"It´s real Lex. Calvin- He-- He was coming right at me. And he would have hurt me if Nick didn´t run him over with the truck. He kept coming back up so we got out of there. We think it´s not safe to be in the city right now, that´s why we are leaving as soon as Travis is back with Chris-"

 

"Leaving?. Where?!"

 

"I don´t know. Somewhere far from people. The desert maybe. Just until things go back to normal." The woman informed and walked around the room looking for her car keys. Lexa was about to retort but Maddy interrupted her. "I need you to stay with your brother while I get him some medicine to get him by. It´s dangerous to cut him off the drugs so suddenly". She explained walking toward the front door.

 

"Mom, just wait a second!. Listen, if what you just told me is truth then you are not going out there on your own. I´m coming with you". Lexa said with no place for persuasion.

 

"We can´t leave Nick on his own"

 

"Then I´ll ask Clarke to look after him. I´ll feel better knowing she´s here"

 

After Clarke kindly accepted to watch over Nick and with the promise of an explanation of the last events on their return, Maddy and Lexa headed toward the car. Lexa didn´t found appropiate to drop a bomb on Clarke and overwhelm her with sensitive information so she promised her they would talk calmly on their return.

 

Maddison ran in her head different ways to get Nick´s medications, but she knew that without a prescription the pharmacy would reject her request. Her last resource was a locker stuffed with items subtracted from high school students. Said locker was constantly stocked with illegal substances, pills and small sharp knives and according to Maddy it shouldn´t have been emptied yet.

 

"I can believe I´m sneaking inside the school with my mother..."

 

"It is not sneaking if you have the key". Maddy defended while holding the door open for her daughter to get in.

 

The place was empty and the only sound heard was their footsteps echoing through the hallways.

 

When they reached their destination Maddy smiled at her luck when she found the locker hasn´t been cleared empty yet. With a little to no fight she managed to force it open and stash her purse with all the pills she found.

 

"This just keeps getting better and better. Not everyone can say their mother is a badass" Lexa joked surprised at her mother´s abilities.

 

"Should have seen me in my twenties..." Maddy joked back. "Ok, I got what we need, it should be enough to get him by". She said hanging her purse over her shoulder.

 

As they were heading for the stairs, they stopped suddenly startled by a sound coming from one of the offices.

 

"What was that?" Lexa asked. "There´s someone else here"

 

"Stay right here baby. I´ll go take a look. It may just be one of the clerks". Maddy walked toward the office door and opened it carefully.

 

Lexa warily watched her mother walk inside the room. It was strange that there was still someone inside the school when all the doors have been locked. Lexa knew something was odd when she felt her senses intesify. A second later a loud crash was heard and in a swift motion Lexa found herself rushing towards the loud noise but suddenly stopped in her tracks when the image of her mother struggling with a large man came into view. The man had his hands around Maddy´s neck while the woman tried vainly to push him away. Without a second thought Lexa jumped on the man and yanked him back by his neck throwing him on the floor. Immediately the man tried to get back up and head toward Maddy again. "Stay away from her!". Lexa threatened standing in front of her mother trying to shield her. She realized any effort to hold a dialogue was pointless, these people didn´t listen, they didn´t think, so Lexa knew she had to act before it was too late. It took her a second to scan the room swiftly, her eyes finally landing on a copper sculpture placed on the desk. As the man was blocking the doorway the only way to get out was through him. Lexa didn´t have enough time to think, she needed to act quickly, so in a rush of adrenalin the girl tackled the large man sending them both to the ground. When she tried to stand back up and reach for the object on the desk the man grabbed her by the collar of her t-shirt pulling her back down. Between his grunts and her mother´s anguish pleads she managed to throw a hard punch to his face, giving her a chance to stand while the man clumsily tried to resume his attack.

 

Lexa moved toward the wooden desk and grasped the heavy object in her right hand. She turned in her place and with a efficient hard blow she hit him in the head, splashing blood all over his face in the process. But that didn´t seemed to be enough cause it didn´t stop him. So Lexa walked to him again and placed her knee over his chest holding him down against the floor and ferociously kept striking hit after hit over his head until no only him but also herself ended covered in thick blood.

 

The brunette had to be stopped by her mother, who placed a hand on her shoulder trying to gain her attention. "That´s enough, baby. Let go...". The man was no longer moving. She removed the stained object from the girls hand and left it on the floor and then placed a hand on Lexa´s cheek, forcing her to look at her.

 

It took Lexa a few seconds to focus her eyes on her mother´s, she was a little disoriented, she still had the rush feeling running through her veins, her muscles were extremely tense and her rapid breathing only increased her difficulties to form words. "We- we have to get out of here...". Lexa finally said standing up. "I´m okay. Let´s go home" She continued before her mother had the chance to express any concern.

 

In the car Maddy kept stealing glances of her daughter, who remained silent and maintained a collected appearance all the journey back home. The woman decided to agree to the silent request of not being asked questions at the moment, she would talk to Lexa about what happened later.

 

Despite of what she just went through, Lexa was worried about other issues. The moment she got in the car all she did was try to contact someone on her cellphone with no such luck of getting an answer. Lexa had the impression the person she was trying to call was ignoring her since every call went to voicemail. The disturbing feeling in her gut seemed determined to stay, the day just kept getting more and more intense as the minutes went by, she just hoped this person was safe.

 

As soon as her mother parked the car in the driveway Lexa stepped out of the it urgently.

 

Ignoring the looks from Nick and Clarke, she walked inside the house and stalked straight to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She leaned her back on the door and looking to the ceiling she let out a heavy sigh. It was not the moment to crumble, not just yet, she had to keep a strong mind and protect the people she loved. There was no space for weakness at the moment.

 

After taking a minute to compose herself and figure her next move Lexa walked to the sink and washed her bloody hands and face with disgust. She gave one last look to herself on the mirror, breathed in deeply and then walked out.

There was something she needed to do and the only person who could cover for her was her brother. Nick was sprawled on the couch. Lexa approached and took him aside as she notice her mother and Clarke were talking in the kitchen.

 

"Listen, I have to go somewhere-"

 

"What?- Where? You can´t go out there Lexa!". Nick interrupted giving her a serious look. "It´s too dangerous..."

 

"Can you tone it down, please?". Lexa scolded looking back making sure the women in the kitchen haven´t heard them. "I need you to cover for me. There´s something I have to do but I´ll be back soon."

 

"What am I supposed to say to them if they ask me where you are?"

 

"I don´t know... just tell them I´ll be back soon".

 

Nick let out a defeated sigh, he knew there was no way of convincing his sister when she had her mind set on something. "Can you at least tell me where you´re going?"

 

Lexa shook her head no. "Please, you have to trust me on this. I´ll be okay. I just need you to distract them while I take dad´s bike from the garage. Mom will notice if I take her car keys."

 

"Okay, whatever it is you need to do, be careful." He said with a pointed look and placing a hand on her shoulder.

 

She knew her mother would soon notice her absence and would most definitely be pissed about it. She just needed a few minutes of distraction to sneak out. Nick could manage the task.

 

Lexa nodded and gave one last look toward the kitchen. "Make sure they don´t leave the house. I trust you can keep it under control until I get back". She said with a little smile before making her way out quietly, Nick´s eyes glued to her back.

Chapter Text

The moment Clarke saw the tense expression on Lexa´s face when the girl walked in the house with Maddy following closely behind, she knew something had happened. Clarke was about to follow the distressed girl to the bathroom but was soon intercepted by Madison, who asked to give her daughter a moment. The woman saw the concern on Clarke´s face and it warmed her heart to know Lexa had a person who sincerely cared for her.

 

Maddy led Clarke to the kitchen and began explaining everything thet ocurred through that day. Clarke was a little incredulous at the beginning but then everything started to make sense as every detailed description Maddison gave coincide with what she earlier heard in the news. Every word that came out of the woman´s mouth sent a cold shiver down her spine. It all sounded like a bad dream, it was terrifying.
Her heart constricted when she heard what Lexa had to do earlier in the school in order to protect her mother. She was not surprised though, in fact it was pretty much something Lexa would be selflessly willing to do to protect someone she loved but still, it increased Clarke's need to comfort her.

 

They briefly discussed the plan of getting out of the city. They would call Clarke´s mother, explain the situation and wait for her return so they could travel together. There was absolutely no way Lexa was leaving without the Griffins.

 

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?". Nick rounded the kitchen counter and joined the women. He was a man on a mission, and that was to gain Lexa some time to leave the house. "Did you tell my mom how good I behaved while she was out?". He joked and when neither of his companions followed his banter his expression fell.

 

"You can tell her yourself" Clarke replied to the boy. "I´ll go check on Lexa real quick and then I'll call my mom" . She addressed the other woman and started to walk out of the room but was soon blocked by Nick.

 

"So... you and your mom will tag along in our little field trip. That gonna be fun, huh?". Nick said with a big grin.

 

"Nick, I really admire your capacity to see the bright side on this messed up situation but right now I need you to move out of my way, please". Clarke said impatient. She had a soft spot for Nick but sometimes he could be a little too much.

 

"Rude!". He mocked being hurt by her words while placing a hand on his heart. "And here I was, always saying you were my favourite sister in law..."

 

"I´m your only sister in law. And the best you´ll ever get". Clarke interrupted, before he got carried away. Noticing he had no intention of steping aside she suspected there was a reason he was keeping her from leaving. Another fact that made her suspect he was hiding something was the way he looked down to his feet a couple of times while rubbing the back of his neck. It was a trait she recognized from Lexa. The green-eyed girl acted the same way when nervous. When Clarke was about to throw another snarky remark Maddy interceded.

 

"Nick, why don´t you grab a glass of water so you can take your pills?". Maddy dragged her son toward the fridge, allowing Clarke to walk out of the room.

 

Clarke gave the woman an appreciative smile as she passed her by and made her way to the bathroom. She knocked softly on the door while she rested her other hand against it, waiting for a response. When she got none she tried calling louder. "Lex, can I come in?". Then again nothing. "Lexa?". She decided to step in and when she glanced through the half open door she found it empty.

 

A strange feeling grew at the pit of her stomach, something was off. Clarke gave a swift look around the house but Lexa was nowhere in sight.

 

"Where is she?". Clarke asked standing in front of Nick. "Tell me where she is, Nick". She insisted when the boy averted his gaze.

 

"I don´t know-". The boy started but was soon was interrupted by his mother.

 

"What is going on?". Madison stepped in, noticing Clarke and Nick´s staring contest. "Where´s Lexa?".

 

Knowing Lexa was already gone, Nick grunted and decided to tell the truth as there was no point in trying to deceive his mother, also his job was already done, Lexa did left unnoticed. "I don´t know where she is..."

 

"But you saw her leave, didn´t you?. And you didn´t stop her!". Clarke said raising her voice. A million thoughts ran through her mind as to where Lexa might have gone to. She just found out the girl killed someone, and that was a heavy load on someone´s conscience. Lexa should not be alone at the moment.

 

"She´s not picking up... " Maddy informed after trying to get a hold of Lexa on the phone.

 

"Well, she won´t be able to if she´s driving..." Nick mumbled while fidgeting with a thread of his shirt.

 

"She took my car? ". Maddy asked alarmed while looking out the window, and sighed gratefully when she saw the car still parked outside.

 

"Dad´s old bike..." Nick clarified. "But I´m sure she took the helmet, ". He tried to ease the sharp look his mother gave him. "and before you keep asking... no, I don´t know where she went. She just said she would be back soon and not to worry". Nick shrugged downplaying the situation.

 

***

 

Clarke´s heart shrank in her chest as the light of day slowly faded outside. With those dangerous people roaming around and being aware Lexa was out there did not please her at all. She lost count of how many times her fingers dialed Lexa´s number on her phone. She had a vague idea of where Lexa could be and the fact that the girl was not answering her calls got her pretty irritated. The suspicion sat cold and bitter in her mind.
Clarke paced anxiously in front of the window with her phone in hand, her atention focused on the street. To aggravate her stressfull mood, telephone lines were collapsed and electricity went out every few minutes.

What gave her some relief was being able to communicate with her mother. Before the line went down again Abby told Clarke she was on her way home with the Blake family. The Blake´s siblings showed up at Abby´s hospital with their mother, who due to some turmoil in the streets ended with a wounded leg. And on her way out of work, by chance, Abby saw them between the sea of people in the waiting emergency room and with the impossibility of admiting new patients at the hospital, Abby decided to attend the woman herself in her own house, where she at least had some medical supplies.

 

From her place by the window, Clarke spotted her mother´s car arrive and park in the driveway. She got outside by the time Bellamy and Octavia stepped out of the vehicle carrying their wounded mother, Abby instructing them to follow her inside her home while Maddy and Clarke wasted no time and offered their help.

 

"Place her on the couch" Abby said as she approached with her medical kit in hand.

 

Aurora laid back against the armrest with a painful effort. Her children standed close with worried expressions on their faces. Bellamy placed a soothing hand over Octavia´s shoulder, trying to give some reassurance while Abby worked on their mother´s leg with Clarke´s assistance. Blood was pouring out of the nasty wound as the doctor used some gauze and tweezers to clean it.

 

"Is she going to be ok? " Octavia asked with a small voice when the doctor finished bandashing Aurora´s leg. The woman fell in a deep slumber after receiving some pain killers.

 

"It´s too soon to tell... We have to wait and see how she evolves. I did everything in my power with the supplies I had but I strongly recommend a check-up at the hospital to garantee everything is under control". Abby wanted to bring some relief to these kids, but as a doctor she had to make sure the family understood the severity of the patient state.

 

"Hospitals are in chaos right now..." Maddy reminded the doctor with corcern in her eyes. Right now it wasn´t safe to be in public places, much less in hospitals.

 

"I know. It would be pointless to go there right now. But I promise you-" Abby stared right to the kids eyes. "I will do the best I can to help her"

 

"Thanks Abby. We know you will." Bellamy said with a grateful smile. Still, his rigid posture betrayed his feelings. The young man had taken responsability for his family since early years. He grew watching his father mistreat his mother everytime he came home after spending the day in dingy bars, drinking his life away. After bearing his beating for so long Aurora made the dicision to get the man out of their house and lives, giving priority to her children safety. And as hard as it was she, with great effort, managed to balance her time to raise her children and run her small bakery on her own. The sacrifice was not unnoticed by Bellamy, who vowed to protect his mother and sister from harm at any cost. So, watching his mother lie so defenseless in that couch was taking a toll on him.

 

"As soon as she wakes up we´ll move her to the guest room so she can rest properly. Im the meantime I suggest you rest as well. Eat something..." Abby invited while giving Clarke a prompting look, who soon caught the hint and led the Blake siblings toward the kitchen.

 

"We can´t wait here until she gets better..." The words came heavy with apprehension from Madison, who stepped closer to her friend to be sure they were out of earshot. "We must leave as soon as possible. You were able to witness the crisis at your hospital, Abby. We have to keep the kids safe and we can´t do that here "

 

"I know..." The doctor said understanding Maddy´s line of thinking. Then she gave a look to the injured woman to make sure she was still asleep. "but her chances are not good if she doesn´t get proper assistance. She needs special medication to prevent further infection. If she doesn´t respond well in the next 24 hours her situation will get pretty critical and any treatment she get´s will be pointless"

 

It was not nessesary further explaination of what could happen.

 

"You are her best shot right now" Maddy reassured her friend squeezing her hand. "We are in this together. We will take her with us and we´ll do our best to help her, ok?". She received a nod in response.

 

 

"Oh, God" Octavia gasped at hearing Clarke update her on Lexa´s part take at the school earlier. Even though they came from different backgrounds it hadn’t taken them long to become friends. They were a tight group, Bellamy, Octavia, Clarke and Lexa, always taking care of each other. So there was no wonder in Octavia´s concern. "Is she ok?"

 

"I don´t know cause she left before I could talk to her-" Clarke started but was soon interrupted.

 

"She left?!--" The girl asked-yelled before toning her voice down. Bellamy excused himself a minute earlier and went out to get some fresh air but still Octavia didn´t want to risk him hearing their conversation. "Where?" She continued in a hushed tone.

 

"She didn´t say. But I have a slight idea of where...." Clarke focused her eyes on the glass of water between her hands. Octavia remained silent, waiting patiently for Clarke to continue. "She started talking to Costia again recently"

 

And there it was. Realization downed on Octavia as to why her friend has been so miserable lately. She was one of the few people who was able to witness Clarke and Lexa´s ups and downs throughout their entire relationship, she was there even long before Clarke returned to Lexa´s life. She was there when Lexa dated Costia and also when she took the decision to end the relationship to persue her feelings for Clarke. To say things did not ended on the best of terms between them was an understatement. The evidence of Costia´s slap against Lexa´s cheek remained engraved in Octavia´s memory until today. That´s why she was surprised to hear Lexa was back in touch with the girl.

 

"Is that the reason you´ve been moping these past few weeks?. I mean, besides the other little thingy only you and I know about... " Octavia raised her eyebrows and gave a subtle look towards Clarke´s stomach.

 

The blonde soon catched the gesture and turned to make sure no one noticed the action. She could not afford to bring another complication to this tangled day. She surely wasn´t ready to deal with the consequences if her mother happened to casually discover she may become a grandmother in the middle of a zombie outbreak. God, she was not ready at all. Her plan was to talk things through with Lexa and then figure out their next step together. But now, she hadn´t been able to talk to Lexa, there were about to leave town to god knows where, there were people killing each other in the streets, Lexa was out there doing god knows what and she was sitting in her kitchen counter in front of her best friend trying to keep it together. "I haven´t been moping as you put it..." Clarke said with a frown and let out a sigh before resuming. " it´s not the fact that they talk what bothers me. I trust Lexa, so is not jealousy. But yes, there is a deeper reason why I´ve been weird lately. Though I´m not ready to talk about it yet " She explained and hoped Octavia didn´t pushed the subject.

 

" I understand. Just know that you can talk to me whenever you want, ok?. I mean, if we survive this madness that is..." Octavia finished with a tightened jaw.

 

***

 

"Ok, this is the plan..." Maddy explained to the group of people present in the middle of the Griffins living room. They decided it wast best to lock the doors and wait all together in one house. Minutes earlier they were witnesses of how the neighbour across the street was assaulted by one of the inffected (that´s how they decided to call them) and that was reason enough to make the decission to stay put and dust off the old shotgun Abby kept hidden in the back of her closet. Said weapon used to belong to her late husband, wich although never been fired it remained clean and oiled, and hopefully functional. Power has been off for an hour now and the only light they counted with was the moon´s and two candles placed over the small table in the center of the room.
Octavia sat on the couch with her mothers leg on her lap. The woman have been awake for a few minutes, the pain of the injury keeping her from resting properly. Bellamy and Clarke remained attached to the front window, looking after any sign of movement while Abby guarded the door with the gun clutched to her chest. They all focused their attention on the woman speaking. "...as soon as Lexa and Travis are back we´ll get in the cars and-"

 

" If ... Travis and Lexa come back " Nick added from his spot on one of the couches under a blanket. He has been sweating cold profusely and throwing up every now and then. The effects of abstinence on full display just like his dark sense of humor. After his comment the whole room turned to him with deep frowns implying a halt in his speech. "Ok, that was out of line. I´m sorry mom I don´t know what I´m saying. Go on..." He shifted in his spot and brought the blanket up, covering half his face after sending a guilty smile to his mother.

 

Before Maddy could continue Bellamy stood up abruptly, gaze fixed on something on the street.

 

" Bell?-" Clarke asked but Bellamy shushed her raising one of his hands.

 

" Look " He instructed pointing his finger towards the front yard of the Clark´s house.

 

" Is that- What is he doing? "

 

A mans figure could be spotted walking aimlesly over Lexa´s driveway for a bit before slowly heading to the front door in an unsteady pace. Both, Clarke and Bellamy, followed his track until the bushes covered their view. Not wasting a second, Bellamy ran to the kitchen, where the window faced the side of Lexa´s house and where they had a better sight.

 

" There is someone in the house "

 

" What? " Asked Maddy, who followed them and stood next to the boy, squinting her eyes for a better look.

 

" Should we go there? Try and get him out ? " Bellamy tried.

 

" No. It´s too dangerous. No one is getting out of this house, ok? " Madison ordered with a pointed look. " We will wait and hope he leaves on his own "

 

" Oh shit. Isn´t that Travis´s truck? " Clarke then asked beside the pair when she noticed lights aproaching from the street.

 

" No..." Maddy managed to whisper. " No, no, no ". She retreated back to the living room where she bumped into Abby. " I need the gun. Travis is back and there´s a intruder in my house. I have to warn him " She said not taking a break to breathe. The rest of the ocupants in the room stood up alarmed at hearing her.

 

" Mom, you can´t go out there alone " Nick cut in.

 

" She´s not. I´m going with her " Bellamy added.

 

" Me too " Clarke joined.

 

" Ok, everyone stop! " The doctor exclaimed. " You are not leaving this house " She said sternly to her daughter before giving a look to Bellamy. " Maddy and I will go. And the rest of you will stay here and lock the door until we get back. Is that understood? " She only got a grunt as response from Clarke and a curtly nod from Bellamy. " Let´s go " Abby finally said to her friend before exiting the house.

 

Once Bellamy did as instructed and closed the door Clarke went back to the window, arms wrapped around herself in resignation as she watched her mother dissapeared into the night. Bellamy noticed this and stood next to his friend. Clarke vaguely registered him watching her with a troubled expression. She was too focused on mantaining her feelings from spiraling.
The room was quiet, as any minimun sound could disrupt their repressed unsteadiness. A couple of secods passed before Bellamy broke the silence. " She will be back " He said, conviction in his eyes.

 

" I know. I trust my mom " Clarke´s reply was dry. Slight annoyance tainting her words. She was exhausted and could no longer hide her surly mood.

 

" I meant Lexa... "

 

Clarke sighed and turned to him. Bellamy and his ability to read her like an open book. He didn´t deserve her outburst, none of this was his fault. So she forced a smile. " I´m s-..." She began but was cut short when a loud bang was heard from next door. Her eyes swam erraticaly over his face, words stuck on her throat. She felt how her blood rushed to her head in the matter on seconds, making it hard to distinguish the veracity of the situation. Did she just heard a-

 

" Gunshot " Bellamy let out in a whisper. " Clarke, no! . Wait! ". Before he could react the blonde ran passed him towards the kitchen. When he caught up to the room it was too late, the kitchen door was open. The girl was crossing the short distance that separated her house from Lexa´s and made her way inside through the side door. " Close this door, O. " He instructed his sister with finality in his tone when he noticed the young girl had joined him after the commotion. As soon as Octavia nodded he ran off after the blonde.

 

Darkness surrounded Clarke as her feet carried her through the dark halls. After spending great part of her life in this place, she trusted her memory to guide her. The only distinguishable sound was coming from her shoes as they made contact with the ceramics, soon harmonizing with the thumping of her wild heart. Realizing with every step that she wasn´t sure of what she would come across when she reached her destination. The thought took her breath away for a second but soon she worked up her courage and placed the fear on the back of her mind. Just for a little longer. She thought.

 

When Clarke reached the main room she was forced to a halt, stopped by the sudden brightness. Power came back then and there, lights coming alive again. Instinctively, Clarke covered her face to protect her eyes, taking her a few seconds to get used to the change.

 

The image she came across exceeded any imagined expectation. Any resemblance to a thriller movie was pure coincidence.

 

A dark, wet stain splashed over the wall and curtains was the first thing she noticed. The second thing was Travis standing next to a dead mans body, gunshot tightly gripped between his hands.
The third thing she noticed was that the living room was packed with people. In her quick survey she spotted an old man and a girl, she´d never seen before, in a corner. Not far Travis´s son and ex wife made their presence known too.

 

The world around her started to spin and she could swear the ground beneath her feet was shaking. She was about to faint. She knew it. Her previous worked up courage had ran out.
Her heart beat was out of control, the cold sweat that covered her hands and the shortness of her breathing were the clear symptoms before fainting.
Before Clarke lost her balance, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her, holding her up. Thanfully her mother was close enough to offer assistance and hold her tight to her side. She could hear the doctor giving her some soothing words but in her frenzy state she was unable to distinguish them, barely able to stomach what just happened. She almost didn´t noticed Bellamy had joined her side, the boy was just as paralized as her.

 

Time seemed to have stopped for a while since everyone remained frozen in place until Travis broke the spell. " Is everyone ok ?" . He asked without removing his eyes from the body splayed on the floor. " Is anyone hurt ? " He asked again, this time giving a look at each of the presents and receiving a few noes as answer. Travis let out a deep sight, taking a second to gather his force to continue. " We have to check every entrance is lock before we clean this " They had no time to dwell on moralities, they had to stay safe.

 

They shared a look between themselves before getting ready to follow Travis´s instructions. But when they intended to leave the room, two inconsistent blows resounded on the front door, making everyone stop in their track. Maddy, who was standing close to it, took a step back, fear clear in her eyes. Fear that another of those things was trying to get inside the house too.

 

Travis must´ve felt the same fear and as quietly as possible stood in front of Maddy, gunshot firmly aimed toward the wooden door. The rest didn´t dared to emit a sound, silently praying whoever was on the other side just walked away. Those prayers were aparently unheard cause the next second the doork nob began to turn. Holding his breath Travis straightened his posture, tensing his muscles getting ready to fight any threat that could come through the door.

But when his pointing finger grazed the trigger the door bursted open, startling everyone and revealing a dishveled Lexa. Face covered in blood, features not conveying any emotion. Her breathing hard as strong shoulders heaved with each intake. If she noticed the gun pointing at her face, she didn´t show... or didn´t care. Her eyes unfocused, appeared lost, void of light. She looked extremely exhausted.

 

" Lexa ? " . Maddy softly called, urging Travis to drop the gun with a hand and taking a small step towards her daughter. Maddy´s eyes traveled all along the girl´s body, inspecting for any visible wound. Wich was difficult cause her skin and clothes were dirty and ripped at some edges and made impossible to tell with precission if there was an injury. Plus the girl was carrying a backpack on her front, held securely with an arm against her chest as another bag rested over her shoulder.

 

Worry washed over Maddy as the girl in front of her kept unfazed. " Honey ? " She tried again after sharing a look of concern with Clarke ( who remained atached to her mother). And as a switch have been activated Lexa reacted, though her moves became desperate while removing the straps of the backpack the moment she acknowledge all eyes were on her. As soon as the staps were free, she held the item protectively between her arms and slowly approached Madison.

 

" Don´t drop this " Lexa said in a droning voice as she handed the backpack to her mother. Leaving the room right after.

 

Maddy glanced back to her retreating daughter when a barely audible weeping coming from inside the backpack drew her atention. Maneuvering the bag on one hand she was able to use the other to slide the zipper open, allowing her to see it´s content. What she saw made her gasp in shock.

 

" What is it ? " Travis questioned after Maddy´s reaction.

 

" It´s a baby "

Chapter Text


The atmosphere on the streets was tense. In plain sight you noticed people´s anxiety and nervousness that, added to confusion and lack of information, ran away from those places where violence arose. The trip, that under normal circunstances would have taken no more than fifteen minutes, had become a feat. Main streets congested with vehicles impeded all circulation and detours through alternative passages were no longer safe under the looming threat of being intercepted by those who took advantage of the current caos to thieve. After maneuvering through cars and passersby, Lexa arrived to the neighborhood she used to visit many times before.

 

 

When she stopped the motorcycle she took a time to observe her surroundings. The clime was thick and some traces of restlessness floated in the air. A few of the adjoining building neighbors, rushed, loaded their vehicles with suitcases and boxes full of stores. Others scurried into their homes, trying to stay safe and far from the danger that reigned on the streets.

Not waisting another minute, Lexa descended her bike and dragged it to the side of the building, resting it behind a trash container, she then removed her helmet and hooked it on the handle, and begged internally for it to remain in the place on her return. 
Seriousness was evident in her face and the tension extended to each of the muscles of her body when she stood in front of the entry of the building where Costia lived. An unsettling feeling nestled in her stomach when she noticed the main door was open, when normally it remained locked, the only way to open it was with key or by intercom.

 

The place was awfully quiet, her shoes echoing with every step she took on the stairs. When she reached the first floor she started hearing far rumblings here and there, wich made Lexa hold her breath as she could not exacly decipher where they were coming from and that increased her discomfort. All aggravated by the recent memory of her previous experience hours earlier, haunting her relentlessly. Lexa could still feel the blood´s thickness, wich scurried warm through her fingers and although recently washed, it was impossible to brush away the sense of impurity Lexa felt. Her senses on high display kept her alert to every small shift around her. Her only regret was the fact it didn´t occurred to her to bring anything to defend herself in case of threat. Chastising herself, Lexa shook her head and focused her atention on the current task and quickened the pace, as there was no way back then and she still had two more floors ahead.

 

When she came to face the door that read 302 her heart quickened it´s pace once again when she found it ajar. Lexa could not believe her luck, because even though she tried to maintain the optimism she knew these circumstances meant nothing good. Lexa hovered in front of the wooden door for a little while, staring intently at it, like if the object could give her some type of warning of what she was about to find on the inside. That brief moment felt almost eternal and when Lexa awoke from her lethargy she realised she´d been unconsciously praying. Prayin for some miracle and that for one of those weird reasons of destiny she wasn´t too late. Sucking in a sharp, deep breath, Lexa filled up with courage and nudged the door.

 

Power was gone but there was still a little weak sunlight left coming through the windows, coating the interior of the apartment. That glimmer allowed Lexa to notice stuff scattered over the floor. Swallowing down her nervousness, Lexa went in and looked around for some clue that denoted someone elses presence. Her body was already tense, muscles tight, prepared to confront what her subconscious warned her could happen. Her suspicions materialized when she spotted a lifeless body behind the couch and her heart threatened to beat out of her chest when she confirmed it belongned to Costia´s grandmother, Nidia. The old woman was laying on her side, blood covered an awfull wound on her head and her features suggested she, also, had been a victim of the infection. Despair overcame Lexa and not being able to control herself, she began to shake like a leaf.  I´m too late, she thought.  She rapidly turned around and, not wasting any more time, headed towards the bedrooms. She crossed the hall in a couple of strides, not caring about the sound she made when she accidentaly knocked the coffee table. 

 

She was desperate but when she came across the name  Aden hanging on the shut bedroom door she paused against it, frozen, too scared of what she might find on the other side. But then, nothing... Not the slightest creak was heard inside.

 

In a delicatelty movement, Lexa rested her forehead on the white wood. "Please..." . She begged once in the smallest voice possible. She didn´t need to specify out loud what for. But she repeated the word twice and thrice, pouring her soul on the simple word. " please, please..." .

 

Straightening her posture, Lexa brought her hand to the handle and turned it slowly and the hinges protested when she pushed the door open. Blood froze in her veins at the image she found: clothes scattered over the carpet next to a few stuffed animals. The white crib, that used to be on the left corner next to the window, now lingered tumbled on it´s side on the floor, same as the blue blanket that belonged inside it. This can´t be happening. Was her only thought. The nightmare appeared to be never ending. A discouragement feeling washed over her while simultaneously her hopes were vanished in less than the blink of an eye. She thought the worst feeling she experienced in her life was the death of her father. She thought nothing could ever hurt her more than that. But right then, the feeling that grew inside her chest crushed her like a ton of bricks. Unexpectedly everything seemed meaningless then.
 If two weeks ago somebody would have told her that having a child meant having your heart ripped out of your chest at the smallest chance of them getting hurt, Lexa would have laughed at their face. Two weeks ago her deepest concerns were academic related, bannal teenage matters... Just two weeks passed since she found out she had a son, and a second is all it took her to fall in love with him. In fact Lexa was certain that somewhere along the first seconds her eyes met son´s, her heart stopped being hers and slipped on to beat next to her child´s. And now, there was a chance she would never see her son again. She just met him and now their life together was over before it even had the chance to begin.

 




Her eyes filled up with tears as she kneeled down in the middle of the blue colored room to take a white tiny shirt between her hands. Everything indicated that something horrible had happened in the apartment and that she has gotten too late. There was nothing she could do and even though she had no physical proof, she knew it was most likely Costia and Aden, also encountered the same fate as Nidia. The thought only spreaded the hole in her heart.

A couple of minutes passed in wich Lexa remained static in the middle of the room. Her body and mind seemed unresponsive at her instincts that urged her to leave as soon as possible, that was too dangerous to stay any longer. But even so her anguish embraced her whole and kept her frozen. Her hands still held the small garment, with such force it turned her nuckles white.



But then her sorrow was interrupted when a light, almost imperteptible, whimper shattered the stony silence that reigned. Her neck almost cracked at the forceful whiplash her head gave towards the new sound, strartling her and making her drop the piece of clothe. There, from the bedroom closet, the baby whimper was heard again and gave Lexa a sudden rush of hope wich served as fuel to get her moving again. Holding her breath she swung the doors open.


"Aden..." She whispered with a sense of relief at the same time her soul returned to her body. The baby responded to the attention with a new wail, this time stronger than the last, so strong his face turned red, so strong it flooded Lexa with affection.


 

She could not contain the smile thar reached her face. Her son was alive, there, on the floor, hidden in between a nest of blankets. Someone had put him there. Someone who wanted to keep him safe, away from danger.

 

The calm was gone far too soon, before Lexa continued her conjectures, someone else entered the room. Because of the baby´s loud wailing she may not have noticed the  presence but thanks to the movement of shadows, Lexa had just enough time to whip around and take a guarded position before she, the one that used to be her son´s mother, lunged over her with the blind intention of hurting her. Her complexion was different. Her skin pale. Her blue eyes lost it´s beautiful radiance wich characterized them and now were a grim white, no expression whatsoever. Her neck had a deep wound on it´s side, so deep you could notice a biting mark. Rapidly, Lexa tied the loose ends when she remembered the blood that covered Nidia´s mouth in the other room. There was no doubt the old lady was responsable of Costia ending this way, not before making sure her son was as far as possible from her when the inevitable happened. The thought set a bittersweet feeling at the pit of Lexa´s stomach and she couldn´t help feeling guilty of not being there to help.



A kind of adrenaline overload began coursing through Lexa´s body, clouding her judgement with a protector instinct and before Costia stumbled closer to the baby, Lexa shoved the woman´s shoulders, forcing her back until she had her cornered against the wall. Lexa had to use her entire strength to keep the shorter woman from escaping and between the baby´s loud crying, costia´s awful guttural grunts and her own heavy breathing, it was almost impossible to think clearly. Lexa knew she could not let Costia, or what was left of her, leave that room and hurt someone. The risk was too high. But she also knew she didn´t have the heart to repeat what she did to the man at the school earlier... Costia did not deserve to end that way, with a simple blow to the head. So Lexa remembered something her father, a few years before dying, taught her and Nick (and sneaking away from Maddy). He was a cop and sometimes when he had to intervene in a confrontation he often resorted to unconventional ways to calm the agitation. One of those entailed positioning an arm around the subject´s neck, from behind, and applying enough force to get them to loose consciousness, but not too much, since excessive force could provoke a rupture and ultimately, death. 

So, that´s exactly what she did. As fast as she could, and with a little struggle, Lexa positioned behind the woman and in a single movement she placed her arm just like her father had taught her. Ignoring the blood that began coating her arms and part of her face (as result of the tight grip around the open wound), Lexa shut her eyes as she swallowed thickly, steering her attention on her son´s weeping, wich reminded her there was a good reason to what she was about to do, and holding her breath she applied as much pressure as she could. Consecuently, the young woman began to twist while choking noises came out of her mouth. A nauseating sensation arised inside Lexa again and a stray tear managed to slip away from her shut eyes. A mere painful cry left Lexa´s mouth when she heard the light crack noise that indicated it was all over.

 


The lifeless body fell limp but Lexa did not let it touch the floor, but held it until both of them reached the soft carpet. Lexa rested her back against the wall and adjusted her arms to cradle the girl. She could not stay much longer but the anguish and love she still held for Costia compelled her to spend one more moment to bid her farewell.



Aden´s requirement drew her back from her momentary stupor and exhaling long and steady breath, Lexa opened her eyes and delicately placed the girl´s body on the floor. The lump on her throat seemed to have claimed a permanent residency the moment her eyes studied the motionless figure, and though this time Lexa did not cry, her sight became blurry of the amount of tears that gathered in her eyes. With a gentle caress on the silk hair and the sweetest kiss on the girl´s forehead, Lexa gave her last goodbye to Costia. Then, as she tried to clean the blood out of her hands againts the fabric of her t-shirt, she walked to Aden, took him between her trembling arms and settled him over her chest, offering him some much needed confrort.

 

 

 


" You have to stay quiet " Lexa hushed the whimpering child while rocking him. She was certain more infected people were in the building and they could not risk to draw their atention so the only thought that came to her mind was to figure out a way to keep the baby hidden and secure and quiet while they made their way out. She gave a once-over at the room and found a made up baby bag next to a empty back pack over a rocking chair. So, holding the baby in one arm, Lexa took a blanket from the closet and wrapped Aden in it and then proceded to tuck him inside the bag pack. He was a four month old, and he was still that small that he fitted perfectly in the bag. It wasn´t ideal but Lexa had no time to spend on finding something more appropiate. The brunette strapped the bag over her chest and then gave a loving caress on his head. " I´m sorry, but I have to do this " She explained to the ingenuous, inocent child as he looked back at her with his big, teary green eyes. His cries eased soon after he felt Lexa´s strong arms wrap around him once more, offering the sense of protection and warmness he required. With one last look Lexa zipped the bag close, leaving a small gap that allowed the entry of air and a little light. She then took the baby bag, filled with baby goods (she hoped, cause she had no time to check it insides). "Ok... here we go" She said gathering her strenth once again, ready to head back home.

 

 

 

 

 

****

 

 

"Abby, can you give me a hand over here?" Madison asked her friend as she removed, carefully, the wriggling bundle out of the back pack. At first sight she didn´t notice any injury but she guessed it was better for Abby to check on the baby and dismiss all doubts.

 


The doctor nodded before giving a concern look to her daughter, who throughout the commotion maintained quiet on the spot. Sensing the girl was still shaken the woman decided it was better to send the girl home. "Clarke, go home, I´ll be there shortly"

 

Coming back to herself, Clarke registered her mothers words. "No, I- I have to check on Lexa. She needs me". She said, realizing her mothers intention of shutting her out of what was happening.

 

"I don´t think is a good idea for you to be here right now. I think you guys-" She looked between Bellamy and her daughter. "-should really listen to me this time and do as I say. Let us, adults, to take care of this. I´m not repeating myself again, Clarke..." Abby said with finality in her tone.

 

"Mom, she needs me..."

 

She understood Clarke´s position, it was cristal clear how her eyes showed how much she needed Lexa as much as Lexa probably needed her. And it pained her deep to set foot on her decision to keep them apart but there was a dalicate matter taking place and she couldn´t focus on Maddy´s request if her mind was worrying over Clarke. 
 

"You will be able to talk to her, but later... right now let her mother take care of it, ok?". Behind, Bellamy nodded and Abby was grateful that, at least, he seemed to understand the importance of her words. And with that the doctor walked towards Maddy and the small baby in her arms while Bellamy ushered Clarke out and back to her house.

 

"Can you handle this? I need to check on Lexa, figure out what happened..." Maddy said while she delicately handled the baby to the
doctor. In the mean time in the background, Liza, Travis´s ex-wife, approached the two and offered her assistance. Apparently in the rush of getting his son to safety, Travis had no choice but to bring his mother too, as there was no way the boy would leave without her and even though they didn´t discussed it beforehand, Maddy had no objection with the woman´s presence in her home given the cicunstamces. As for the other two strangers standing in her living-room, Maddy would have to wait and ask questions later, cause at the moment her daughter was her main priority.

 

 

The young girl was broken, this much was clear. Maddy soon empatized with the heartbreak all Lexa´s posture showed, breaking the woman´s own heart. When Maddy walked out through the back of the house she found the young girl kneeling in the middle of the backyard, head hung low as her shoulders heaved as elaborated breaths left her mouth. The weight of the day had clearly taken a toll on Lexa and by the aspect she carried it hasn´t gotten any easier since Maddy last saw her that afternoon. Walking calmly, as to not disturb the girl further, the blonde woman got closer and crouched down beside her. She took a minute to examine her beautiful features and wrap her mind around the right words to voice since her eagerness to find out the truth was eating her alive but the fear that Lexa would close up, restrained her. An overwhelming desire to wrap her arms around her daughter and washed all her sorrows away consumed Madison, to tell her everything would be ok and that this was just temporary, but she, herself, could not predict what the next hour would bring their way and that impotence was something she wasn´t used to deal with. So she just limited to find a way to ask the question without agravating Lexa´s anguish.
So, with the sweetest tone and a small smile, Maddy tried. "Hey, babe...". The term was an inside joke between the two that Maddy used to embarrass Lexa, since the nickname was one Clarke used to refer to the girl. Still, Lexa did not register her presence and seemed to be immerse in deep thought. "Lex, I need to know if you are hurt?". Trying her luck Maddy ran a gentle hand along the girl´s back and the single touch provoked an expected, but not desired, reaction. 

 

She jumped in place, startled by the sudden contact and coming back to time and place, Lexa registered her mother but seemed to not be able to make eye contact, ashamed maybe or disturbed, Maddy could not decipher. 

"Honey, please look at me". At not receiving an answer the blonde woman got frustated, not because Lexa was closed as a shell but because she did not have the time to manage things they way she would want to. They were supposed to leave the city soon and if Lexa was under a state of shock Maddy wouldn´t be able to find out where the little creature in the living room came from. Perceiving Lexa did not have the intention to start explaining Maddy decided to play a tougher card and work on tearing down Lexa´s barrier walls. So, grabbing the girl´s chin she forced Lexa to face her. "Please, talk to me baby". 

Eyes trained on her mother´s, are unable to stop the wave of tears that gather in them as a mix of fear and pain make an appearance. She wants to talk, to explain everything, but the lump in her throat make it an impossible task to utter words and let air circulate at the same time. How should she break the news to her mother?, and not only that she had a greatson but also that she just killed his mother. Would the woman still look at her the same?. Because Lexa never felt more impure in her life, the self aversion was flooding her brain, haunting hateful thoughts spreading to each and every nerve cell inside her head. And she knew the need to close herself off was strong, shut everyone out, and she definitely felt tempted to, but now there was also the other side wich encouraged to fight those thoughts to the back of her mind and take responsability, like an adult.
Aden needed her now. So, sucking in a deep breath to apeasse her emotions she was finally able to draw out a few words. "I had to- I had to bring him with me...." She started with quivering lips and shattered voice. Before continuing she removed her face from her mothers grasp, not being able to hold the womans eyes on her, wich were pooling with concern. "I went to Costia´s but it was too late. The door was open...". Lexa´s gaze got lost to the darkness, her green ayes flitting around quickly as horrible images filled up her mind, resulting in Lexa covering her mouth as an uncontrollable sob escaped her lips. And as Maddy attempted to offer a touch of confort Lexa flinched away knowing she had to finish her explanation, cause if she relented to her mother´s consolation she would break down in a second. "... the door was open and for a moment I had hope they´d already left. But then I saw the place was trashed and there was blood everywhere and Costia wasn´t there... ". At that point words were coming out rampantly as each en every one of them ripped her insides. " I found Aden hidden in the closet and he was crying. And the next second she was coming at me. She was- she--..." . Lexa needed to utter those words but speaking has never been so hard in her life as if the moment she said them it would become real... Costias was dead. " I had to-- I had no choice. God... I- I killed her... ".

 

"Hey, it´s ok. You did what you had to do to protect yourself and that baby, Lexa ". Maddy reassured convinced of her daughter´s good intentions. Unable to contain herself any longer, she pulled Lexa into her body and wrapped her arms around the girl as tight as she could. Lexa didn´t need to justify herself before her, as Maddy would blindly put her hands in fire for her daughter. After a few minutes of staying in that position Madison straighten up and took Lexa´s face between her hands once again, forcing her to lock eyes. " Listen to me Lexa, I know you... I know who you are and you are GOOD " . She said, trying to assure those words sinked in. " You hear me?. You are a good person and no matter what you had to do, that will not change the way I feel about you. And I will make sure to remind you every day of that if I have to... ".
 

A single tear slid down Lexa´s cheek as she berated herself for being this weak. On the other hand, she still needed to break the news of Aden´s identity to her mother, so taking a deep sigh prepared herself to start talking. 

 

But as if reading her thoughts Maddy beat her. "Who´s child is that, Lexa?"

 

"His name is Aden... He´s mine. Costia´s and mine" . That´s it, Lexa thought, I said it. And she waited in silence for the woman´s response who, with surprise written all over her face, took an entire minute to comprehend what she just heard.

 

"That baby is yours?" 

 

"Yes"

 

"How- Why- Why did you hide this from me?... I mean, this is definitely not the most appropiate time to reprimand you, but Lexa!"

 

"I´m sorry..." She started apologetic, not exactly for Aden, she would never be sorry for him, but because this undoubtedly wasn´t the best choice of scenery to reaveal such a delicate piece of information. "...and trust me, I would have told you sooner but I just found out recently and I was just taking my time to come around the idea and then all of this happened..."

 

"Oh my God, Lexa.... a baby... ". Maddy said astonished and confused, finding dificult to process the fact that her baby had a baby. And probably if they had had this conversation a few days earlier, Maddy would have been furious... because a baby at this age?!, when the girl wasn´t even out of highschool, when all she should have in mind was the academic oportunities ahead of her, not changing diapers and sorting out pacifiers. It maybe was the sequence of events or maybe the fact that she´s been terrified of loosing her daughter just an hour ago, it even could´ve been the actual hopeless state the girl was in, but Madison couldn´t find in her heart to be mad at Lexa, she was just grateful both her children were safe and close to her. "Right, uhm... we-- we will figure this out together, ok?. Come here". She ushered, enveloping Lexa in her arms lovingly and allowing the young girl cry out all the supressed feelings, secure in her embrace.