Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
#1: Franziska Von Karma vs. Athena Cykes
This was the weirdest idea anyone had had in a long time. But the district needed money to fix Courtroom No. 4, and rap battles were popular among the younger folks. Plus they'd managed to find two generous hosts in the form of Wocky Kitaki and newly rehabitated Marlon Rimes. They'd be seated in the judge's bench while a prosecutor and a defense attorney went at each other's throats, rap-battle style.
Since impromptu rap battles appeared to be the most popular, names would be drawn out of a hat to discover who the competitors were. Just like they were now.
Phoenix drew a name from the defense's side first. He unfolded it, and read aloud. "Athena Cykes."
Edgeworth was next. He pulled a name out of the prosecutor's cup, smirking when he saw it. "Franziska Von Karma."
The assembled crowd cheered at the announcement, despite not knowing who either of those women were. Both stood from the places in the gallery with a game face ready.
They took their places on the opposite ends of the courtroom. Wocky sat in the judge's seat, feet up on the desk. "No weapons," Franziska lowered her whip. Then he turned to Athena. "And no martial arts." She sighed.
Marlon Rimes finished off to Wocky's left side: "Let the rap battle begin!" He began to bust a beat.
Franziska went first:
"Who dares put me up against this foolish little brat?
I owned the female lead 'leven years before THAT!
You're a tough female lawyer with the power of your rage?
I came here first: Get you ass off my stage!
Rightful heir of Von Karma, youngest lawyer to date.
Step aside, little princess, while I seal your whole fate!
When you were crying for your mother, I rebuilt my reputation.
Pick up that mic and come and face your ruination!" The prosecutor cracked her whip for effect, trying to make her opponent flinch. Meanwhile, the gallery was in awe that any of these lawyers could rap.
Athena waited for a second, then casually picked up the mic:
"The rich girl with attitude is threatened by ME?
I worked my way through law school, you just relied on your Daddy!
Ooh look! A big WHIP? to keep yourself safe?
I throw men to the ground, knock them straight on their face.
You're not a female lead, you're just a rival in the set.
Oh, and what's this I hear? Ha! The weakest one yet?!
Every rival got three cases... except for you.
Can I borrow Blackquill's sword? I'll run it straight through you." she finished her rap off with a point and smile.
Now Franziska looked pissed. She slammed the bench hard, mic held in a death grip:
"You want to talk cases? Well take a look at this:
You barely won one, I took my streak to year fifth!
Perfect role, perfect style: you should run away fast.
I tackle crime 'round the world, while you dig through your past.
I had a role for four games, you bored people on your first.
Down at your agency, fans rated you the worst.
I work my own cases, you're a glorified aid.
Trucy Wright's the assistant: you're way overplayed!"
From the audience, Trucy looked shocked. But the blue haired woman wasn't finished, it seemed.
"I took out the smuggling ring, helped capture Simon Keyes.
You got locked up all day, had Foolish Wright set you free.
You couldn't catch the Phantom, you just chased your own ghosts.
When this rap battle ends, you'll see that I deserve the most!
The Queen of Prosecutors and the Trophy of all rap.
Meanwhile, you'll just he lucky to win a pity clap."
Phoenix looked over to Athena anxiously. She had one more verse to make this right.
But she didn't look worried at all. She turned on Widget, and held the mic one more time.
"Oh, I get it now! I see into your heart!
Or at least, I would, if empty space wasn't dark!
You whipped the boss to unconsciousness, threw a fit like a brat.
And just because you lost? Well... get used to that!
You never could evolve, never left your father's shadow.
Will you STILL think you're perfect, once I win this rap battle?
You throw your taunts and whips, but to me they're sticks and stones.
Your words will never hurt me, because guess what I've outgrown?
I shed my fear from eleven, fought to make the dark age right,
while you fled from America, and hid your ass from sight.
Thanks to stupid shallow anger, you resort to petty violence?
I only use for self defense, cut the Phantom's hand in silence.
The truth will set you free: you're an Edgeworth expy.
I'm the real girl prodigy, bright green for glee!"
And with that, the whole courtroom cheered. Wocky yucked it up from his place as host, then called out to the audience: "Who won? Who's next? You decide!"
That day, the district made almost $600.00 in revenue, just from the rap battle.
Oh yeah. They were definitely holding one next week.
Did my best to keep that battle fair, because I love them both to pieces. Who do you think won?
Oh, and my question at the end was serious: who's next? I really want to post more of these. Just leave your pick in the comment section, and I'll consider it. Currently, I am willing to do twelve and plan to end with Edgeworth v. Wright.
Thanks for reading, and I'll see you on the far side!
Chapter 2: Ema vs. Gumshoe
First, let me thank you so much for all the attention this had gotten. Honestly, it was just something silly I threw together one day.
Now, for everyone's two favorite detectives, as requested by DeadLyokoBrony on fanfiction.net.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
#2: Ema Skye vs. Dick Gumshoe
"Are you sure this is a good idea, detectives?"
"Of course, sir!" Gumshoe beamed. "Miss Von Karma and Miss Cykes made it look fun!"
"Um... Gumshoe? Can you even rap?" Phoenix scratched the back of his head, looking doubtful.
"Of course he can!" Detective Skye protested. "I've heard him."
"Hey hey hey!" Marlon Rimes walked up to the group. "Who am I to turn down two anxious volunteers?"
Edgeworth sighed. "Promise me this won't impact your work ethic, Detectives."
"Yeah, we got it."
"Don't worry about it, sir!"
He shrugged. "Alright then."
And with that, the detectives positioned themselves on opposite sides of the courtroom, microphones in hand. Marlon Rimes ran up to stand by Wocky Kitaki, doing everything in his power to get the crowd hyped.
"Yo, yo, yo! It's the second week, folks! Boy do we have a show for you today!"
"Yeah! Usually it's the coppers bustin' up a G's free verse. But today, they spittin' it good!" Wocky spoke over the cheers. Neither detective could understand what he was saying, but they assumed it was part of their introduction.
"Versus! Dick Gumshoe!"
"Let the rap battle begin!"
Gumshoe tried to start them off, but Ema got to the mic quicker:
"Look big guy, we might be friends,
"But today is the day that you finally meet your end.
"Oh wait, not today! That was years ago!
"As of 2019, you were dropped from the show.
"I guess the laughingstock had nowhere to grow,
"Ten years in the saddle left you with no place to go.
"So goodbye, old man, 'cuz it's my turn to show
"Just how great science be, use analysis to beat
"Even the best detectives hangin' out on the street.
"Why? 'Cuz Ema Skye is here to drop some beats!"
She took a step back, challenge clear in her eyes. With all the cheers in her midst, she wondered if she'd won prematurely.
She would have continued thinking that... Had Gumshoe not laughed.
"From East Japanifornia, named Dick at birth.
"I worked years as detective... Then got bored of scut work.
"Always cleaning someone's office, getting way underpaid.
"That ain't for me, pal! I'm glad you came.
"When the 'ttorney train started, I rose with them to fame.
"By the time you showed up, we just lost all we gained.
"'04 was the peak, '07 was the worst.
"But hey, at least you got to stop mocking Maya Fey first.
"Sweet little girl, but no Miss Fey.
"Why'd you go full cynic? So'd people look your way?"
"Oooh!" The crowd was clearly having fun with this. All the people who'd shown up last week had clearly told their friends, because the gallery audience had doubled in size.
Ema steeled herself for the comeback, but tried to keep herself from going too far. The big guy had a sensitive soul.
"You know what stole my hope? Phoenix Wright got disbarred!
"The man who saved my sis, thrown away and scarred.
"And where were you, his friend, when this all went down?
"Tryin' to make the guy lose, then ran straight out of town.
"I stuck it through, thick and thin, dug my way through the worst.
"Then what do exec's do? Make me miss the rebirth?"
Gumshoe blinked in surprise. "Me too, pal! I got replaced by a thief!"
Ema pulled the script for Dual Destinies of of her purse, flipping to the character summaries. "I was dropped for a spy? Oh, come on Chief!"
From the gallery, Edgeworth shrugged. He hadn't known at the time; it wasn't his fault.
Ema nodded to him. "Why'm I yelling at you? We're on the same side!"
"I wish I coulda stayed. I'd have been your best guide!"
Ema smiled. "We coulda caught the criminals, by and by.
"Now if only that fop would return to this Skye
"We'd have more than a cameo, where we'd just stand by!"
Gumshoe nodded furiously. "Why were we kicked out? We did nothing wrong!
"I hate to say this, pal, but-"
They spoke the last line together. "What the fuck, Capcom?"
And with those words, everyone burst into raucous applause, even though most were just really confused. How much of that was actually a rap battle?
"Well, uh," Wocky didn't seem sure either. Then he took it in stride. "Who won? Who's next? You decide!"
...I just can't burn Gumshoe. He makes me laugh too much, and I really want him and Ema to be friends. One of them better be on the Japanifornia side in AA6.
Speaking of AA6... Guess who's definitely gonna be there? That's right: MAYA!
In celebration of this fact, the next rap battle will feature Maya Fey. Her opponent is up to you, but she gets to serve up some disses before flying off to the kingdom of Kurain.
Leave your choices for opponent below, thank you for all this support, and I will see you on the far side!
Chapter 3: Maya vs. Kay
The votes are in. I asked who Maya's opponent was, and you told me Kay Faraday. So here we go!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
#3: Maya Fey vs. Kay Faraday
Maya ran up to where Nick and Edgeworth were sitting, noticing the dark haired girl standing nearby. "Hey! Nick called me right as I was about to leave for Kurain. This sounds like so much fun!"
Ever since Maya had discovered the online web series, she'd been obsessed. She sent her favorites to Nick, memorized at least ten, and even talked Pearly into helping her create a fan video. So when the district had started holding amateur rap battles as a fundraiser, Nick had been sure to sign Maya up for the third slot.
Now she was here, and ready to rock. The gallery was almost full, the hosts were almost here... it left her with only one question: who was her opponent?
"Good morning, Miss Fey. It's good to see you again," Edgeworth said as he bowed in greeting. He gestured to the girl waiting nearby, who walked over immediately. She was a few years younger than Maya, with bright green eyes and almost the same shade of hair. "This is Kay Faraday. She was my assistant."
"You had an assistant?!" Maya's mouth popped open. "Since when?"
"It was... about eight years ago, I think," Kay spoke up, reaching one gloved hand out to shake Maya's. "Nice to meet you."
Edgeworth smiled at their pleasantries. "You two are going to be opponents in the upcoming rap battle."
"What???" they both screamed at once.
"But we've just met!"
Phoenix shrugged. "Welcome to every other case I've taken thus far. And besides, it's not like you'll be completely in the dark. Edgeworth?"
He nodded. "I have compiled two files containing all the relevant information about each one of you. Naturally, I waited until you both were here, as to give neither one a distinct advantage."
They each grabbed a file out of Edgeworth's hands, skimming through it like mad. Maya got a bit nervous, the way her opponent's eyes were lighting up.
"The hosts will arrive in five minute's time. be ready."
"Oh, this is gonna be good..."
"Yo yo yo y'all! It's the third week, goin' us strong!"
"Nutha pair of ladies bustin' it tonight for you all, whoo hoo! Get ready to pop the hizzle, G's!"
"Doesn't that mean something sexual?" Kay questioned from her place at the prosecutor's bench.
"Anyway, we gotta special show up in here tonight," the main host, Marlon Rimes, said. "As nominated by their respective former bosses, we've got Maya Fey!"
"Versus! Kay Faraday!"
"Let the rap battle begin!"
Maya grabbed the mic before her opponent could, determined to get the first verse.
"Another 'ssistant in my shadow, come to covet my crown.
"You really wanna throw down, when the Master's in town?
"I'm flying out to Asia, finally making my return,
"While you're stuck here, where you can't land a burn.
"Don't bother wondering why. I mean, your team had a turn.
"But you couldn't make the sale, your first game was a fail,
"Sure, the sequel was great... but no one heard the tale.
"Honestly, sweetie? It's the time for you to bail.
"'Cuz Maya Fey's here's to stay, on the mic, spit all day.
"While you're just my knockoff. So blast away!"
She got a fair amount of applause when she finished. It would have been more reassuring, if Kay Faraday hadn't been laughing.
"Not so fast, Miss Fey, Imma stop you there.
"You think coming first means no one compares?
"What a head full of air. You're useless, kay?
"Go get off your high horse, come be me far-a-day!
"I rescued Edgeworth's ass, and together we beat,
"Quercus Alba, Simon Keyes, plus a million on the street.
"You're a damsel six times in the four games you're seen.
"You're one useful trait is being Mia to the scene.
"So don't hesitate, 'cuz it's time to 'vestigate.
"How I, with mere words, just sealed your fate!"
"Yowch!" Someone (who sounded suspiciously like Detective Gumshoe) yelled over the applause. But Maya was more than ready for a comeback.
"Oh, I'm Princess Peach because I'm kidnapped like crazy?
"You're on level with me. How's your memory that hazy?
"And maybe you've forgotten, but your storyline was lazy.
"Just like Edgeworth, cue for cue, all so he could catch Yew
"Who wasn't the real mastermind, which came tot'ly out the blue.
"Game took hours to end, and you don't help, my friend.
"It's like Gumshoe's only there for you to upend.
"You're a fake Robin Hood, a thief with no taste,
"Who never stole a thing and never kept a straight face.
"Couldn't be the Yat'garasu, when the law lost grace.
"I've been training all my life, now it's finally the day.
'I take my place as Master, forever to stay.
"Face it, Kay. The writers threw you away.
"In the end, there's only one. That's me: Maya Fey!"
There was a period of silence on the other end, causing Maya to beam. Was it over?
No. Of course it wasn't.
"You'll never be alone, not with little Trucy Wright.
"Or the great Athena Cykes, who last game, stepped in light.
"You cling to the past, when the future's so bright?
"Picture me, here for three, which there just so might.*
"Series moved on from you, but you won't without a fight.
"So enjoy playing damsel, cuz you never could handle
"A role where you'd finally hold the smallest of a candle,
"To the true female leads, balance helplessness with deeds,
"That strike every criminal down to their knees.
"You were born into power, did nothing earning fame.
"How delusional ya gotta be, think you're best in the game?
"If the writer's killed you off, there'd be no one to blame.
"Don't you hear, loud and clear? We've broken your chain.
"All the new girls beat you, by using their brain!"
And with that, the rap battle was finished. It took several minutes for the crowd to calm down enough for the closing line.
"Who won? Who's next? You decide!"
*- this actually could happen. Eshiro once said in an interview that he wanted to continue, and that Yamakazi wanted to as well. It's still unlikely, but hey: that's what fanfics are for (wink).
And there you have it: the assistants of two rivals going at each other's throats. I tried to write the battle as fair as possible, but I think my own bias shone through. Can you tell who I like better?
Also, for the "who's next" question, I kinda already have an idea. A reader on ff.net (JordanPhoenix) suggested Manfred Von Karma vs Damon Gant, which seriously appeals to me. But there was also a matchup suggested on the kink meme prompt (Blackquill vs Godot) that I also want to do. So, to leave some degree of audience participation in this round, I'm gonna let y'all choose between the two! Leave your choice below, and I will see you on the far side!
Chapter 4: Godot vs. Blackquill
Oh wow. Votes heavily favor Blackquill vs. Godot. ...I'm a little nervous. Can I really leave up to these two devils of wit? I guess you never know until you try.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
#4: Diego Armando vs. Simon Blackquill
Getting the necessary approval had not been easy.
First, Simon Blackquill needed to convince the police his opponent posed no threat to the public, using his compromised health as an argument. Then, he had to convince the prison medical staff that he would be properly cared for during the event, using his stable condition under the influence of coffee as an argument. Hell, he'd even talked the warden into counting the rap battle as community service, decreasing his sentence by a month. What a ridiculous amount of work for something so simple.
But he had a point to prove.
"Well, this is a bit of a... weird battle. But hey! You volunteer, you spit it good, you in. No questions asked!"
"Hawkeye wants to rap with me, huh? Why's that?"
"Hmph. You don't remember? We have a score to settle."
The ex-prosecutor laughed. "That little bout? It tasted like office coffee. But a rap battle?" he shook his head, sipping his doctor-approved drink. "Is Trite contagious?"
"You fear confrontation? What better way to measure our wits than a contest of rhythmic debate? If the pen's blade is sharper than a sword, then may the tongue surpass both as the superior weapon."
"Ha! You expect to win with that flowermouth? I'll spit words one blend at a time. A taste more bitter than hell."
"Hey, hey! Save the trash talk for the rap battle!" The annoying fox intervened. And with that, the two fell silent.
Blackquill laughed internally. He missed his bouts with this man. The two had first met during Blackquill's early days in prison, and for the life of him, he could not find a more delightfully spiteful man.
Well, a delightfully spiteful man who wouldn't attempt to kill him, that is.
Finally, Marlon Rimes was back from his trip to the bathroom. "Raise the roof ever'body! 'Cuz we about to have ourselves another battle. This one's on two rivals, taking their fight out of the clink and throwing it down right in this courtroom. We got: Simon Blackquill!"
"Versus: Diego 'Godot' Armando!"
"Let the rap battle begin!"
Everyone expected Blackquill to go first. But he didn't rush to the mic like his opponent did. Armando had it before his was out of its sheath.
"So we start another fight, as a rap to the death,
"Let's end this one quick. Don't even waste you breath.
"You tried to fill my void, with your story of despair.
"But I think we both know you can never compare.
"I'm blind with lost love, couldn't see past red white.
"You're only blind with folly. Through your false honor's blight,
"Couldn't find your own spy, with 'em right in plain sight.
"You didn't know who he was, he hurt the girl you protect.
"That leaves a bitter taste. You're nothing worth respect."
"Ooh!" The crowd was liking this rap battle. The others had been good, but they'd been left with a sense that the participants held back. This time, it was no holds barred.
And if the first verse hadn't proved it, Blackquill's comeback sure did.
"You critique my technique in a fight with a ghost?
"But I know about yours. Can you truthfully boast?
"Driven mad with revenge, even with her crimes paid,
"You stabbed a medium in the heart, 'love's' mother you slayed.
"It's a tale right out of Shakespeare, the tragic hero's flaw,
"Through your own hubric pride, you said 'death to it all'.
"How can one speak of honor, understand what his test is,
"When he can't even show his respect to both sexes?
"I risked life for Cykes's, gave all pride away for truth,
"And all you ever did was badger Wright without ruth."
"Wow," Phoenix Wright gasped from the audience. He would have never gone that far.
The crowd was going wild off of this. Everyone wondered if Blackquill had won...
...had Godot not just casually sipped his coffee, shaking his head sadly and lifting the mic to his lips.
"You take my time as Godot, call it my whole life?
"Well fine Hawkeye, I'll take the 'Twisted Samurai'
"On the road, for a ride, let hypocrisy fly.
"I saw the man in a prison, I wondered why,
"And the man who loves truth, here, fought me with a lie.
"He borrowed my crimes, hid behind the same facade.
"All through his time in court, he'd parade a charade.
"His reasons couldn' amount to the pain of his blade,
"Slashed his sister and the kid, all the way to the end.
"Always sheathed for the enemy, poised sharply for a friend.
"He wounded all he cared for, couldn't kill the doubt inside.
"So he sought to kill himself, used the state for suicide.
"And then, when the kitten heard through his threats of violence,
"He struck her where it hurts, raised his verbal blade and-"
Blackquill slammed his fists down onto the prosecutor's bench, causing everyone to envision the sound of breaking metal. No matter that he'd attended cases unshackled for a month now.
That man could insult him all he desired, But to even suggest he would hurt Athena...
There was a reason he hadn't rapped first. He knew he'd be desiring to receive the last word.
"You seek to sneak such an implication by?
"Such a bald faced lie. How'm I the twisted guy?
"Unlike you, I have morals, ideals I protect.
"One can care for a woman, still show her respect.
"I used a lie as a weapon. It's true, I suppose.
"But only before time of the Phantom's exposed.
"Now it's time to end this fight, to see you disposed.
"At the end of the day, they think you died years ago.
"I joined forces with the light, made the end-times right.
"While you wallowed in your pity, reached your death without sight.
"I laid it all on the line in hopes of a success,
"You never laid down pride 'til Wright-Dono had you best.
"You could have saved the Feys, stopped it all from the start.
"So I guess it's no wonder you could never keep her heart."
For a minute, the crowd was silent. They wanted to declare a winner, but they couldn't tell whose remains belonged to who.
Finally, Marlon Rimes broke the silence. "Well damn! How's that for a fourth week?"
They burst into deafening applause. And with that, the man's co host was again ready to do his job.
"Who won? Who's next? You decide!"
That was ridiculously difficult. I hope you people can see why it took me so long to update.
Anyway, I already kinda promised to take JordanPhoenix and cyanoscarlet's request of Aura vs Eve for the fifth rap battle, but sixth is open to any type of request. This includes AAI2 and DGS characters as well as dead people, since I can just ask Pearl to medium.
Hope you enjoyed! LEave a comment below with the winner and your request, and I'll see you on the far side!
Chapter 5: Aura vs. Eve
(tears hair out) This battle is so hard... I can't burn one side without simultaneously burning the other... and I can't even make fun of them for copying each other because the games were developed at (roughly) the same time!
Oh well, I'll survive. This is just me being whiny. (In case you haven't noticed, I write opening notes before I write the battle.)
In other news, I'm extending these battles from twelve to fifteen. The last is still going to be Wright vs. Edgeworth, but this way I can get more requests in in the meantime. And then, who knows? Maybe if I take long enough to update, I can put a few SoJ characters on the chopping block! Just think about that, the next time I take forever.
Okay, enough babbling. You came for a rap battle and I plan to deliver! Sorry if I don't live up to the glory of the last one. This was my last day of school, and I'm burned out.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
Aura Blackquill vs. Eve Bellduke
"...I have to follow that?"
Aura couldn't believe what she just saw. Last week, her little brother, the same nerd who once gave her a five minute lecture about the lack of respect people had for birds (yes, you read that correctly: birds. Ever heard of the Great Emu War? You will.), ripped a guy's organs out. With a microphone.
"Oh come now, sister. All you have to do is take your regular dialogue and set it to rhythm." Simon smirked. Aura had to visibly resist the urge to smack him upside the head. Her guard would go insane if she so much as touched another human. She may resent his presence with every fiber of her being, but if being good meant they didn't spend more time together, she was happy to comply. Best she could tell, the understanding was mutual.
"Why are you roasting me? You aren't even in this battle!" Aura snapped back, fingers adjusting the air around her waist out of habit. "And I still have no idea who I'm rapping against."
Just as she said those words, Phoenix Wright burst into the courtroom, all the while arguing with... a woman wearing cat ears. What the heck?
"When you invited me across the pond, Mr. Wright, you told me nothing about any sort of rap battle!"
"Oh come on," he looked visibly uncomfortable under the lady's stare. "It's charity."
"Charity is when you clean a soup kitchen, or bake bread for the poor. Charity is not using a musical beat to insult another woman. I cannot believe you had the nerve-!"
My thoughts exactly. Aura rolled her eyes. Would have been cute, if she wasn't so uptight. And not wearing an engagement ring.
"Please, Eve? I've already signed you up. You're opponent's already here, and remember: it's for a good cause."
"How do you expect me to perform well in a rap competition when I know nothing of my opponent's identity?"
And with that cue, but Phoenix Wright and Simon Blackquill pulled thick manila files out from... a hole in space (honestly. She had no idea.) They made eye contact, nodded, and handed the files to each woman simultaneously.
"You have ten minutes to learn everything there is to attack about Eve Bellduke. May your blade be sharp and ready."
Yeah, yeah. Enough with the sword metaphors. Aura was not about to humiliated in a courthouse a third time.
Whoever this Bellduke lady was, she was going down.
"Hey hey! It's our fifth week up on this house. I'd hate to be the sorry pair that followed our last battle, am I right?"
Lots of cheers from the audience. From her position at the Inquisitor's (sorry, prosecutor's) bench, Eve felt a growing wave of nervousness. This would be nothing like her performance as Lady Darklaw. But it seemed she would have to call upon that persona just one more time.
"This one had competitors fly in from England and escape prison-"
"-with full cooperation of the local penitentiary-"
"Just to stand before you today. Ladies and gentleman, facing each other for the team ever, we have: Eve Bellduke!
"Versus! Aura Blackquill!"
"Let the rap battle begin!"
Her opponent had her mic in hand before she could pick hers up. Aura Blackquill's wrath hit her without warning.
"So it's the psychopath witch who destroyed a town's sanity,
"Ran the experiment for years, abusing power for clam'ity.
"Went behind her boss's back to attack his own kin.
"Lied to everyone for years, brought him down from within.
"Because you couldn't just, you know, rat him out to the policemen!
"Your courts were just fine, you had children confined.
"I may not care, but science ethics say you're way out of line!
"When it comes to what went wrong, damn, where do I start?
"Forced a town to take drugs, made the 'dead' play your thugs.
"All so you could be 'magic', 'til ar'gance pulled the plug."
So that's all this is? Well, this was going to be easier than she thought. Eve almost wanted to laugh.
Still, she let the applause die a bit before speaking. No need to repeat herself.
"I lived in the town as a child, you would blame me this fast?
"Oh wait: this is you. And we all know your past.
"Your grief drove you mad, you hid in a lab.
"Envying a child for the love that she had.
"She thinks she's so moral, but last month, we heard her:
"This woman captured in'cents, threatened their murder!
"I cared for my Shades, kept the town full of grace.
"You 'buse all creations, act reckless in your haste.
"You're still blind in your hate, I forgave myself.
"I'd put you to burn... but you poisoned yourself."
She lowered her microphone, raising her eyebrows in non-verbal challenge.
It was exhilarating. Eve honestly had no ill intentions towards her opponent, yet the urge to beat her was striking. She could only imagine Miss Blackquill felt the same way.
Maybe that would explain what came next.
"Poison myself? Oh! Just like your dad!
"Should you really threaten burning, with the childhood you had?
"Such a cute little girl! Just children playing games,
"Then you wake up as hundreds die in your flames.
"And then, as if that trauma didn't scar the world enough,
"You spent years as Inquisitor, burning others for a bluff.
"Took your pyromanic ways, shoved them all on a friend.
"Use your mindfuck against her, til men brought your reign to end.
"Been eight years since then, you're allowed to sail the lake.
"So now I gotta ask: how much therapy did it take?
"To heal all the minds you left bent in your wake.
"Why's it when I take hostages, I'm imprisoned, feared and hate
"Yet when sci-fi fuels her fantasy, she can walk right out the gate?
"Come it's time, little witch, you finally faced up to fate."
Eve felt her cheeks burning. She tried to calm herself, but... even after all these years, she couldn't escape that lie.
She'd needed that lie, for the time. Eve didn't think she would have made it to adulthood if she'd know the truth. Even so... Labrelum hadn't escaped the scandal yet. She didn't think she ever would.
But that didn't mean she would lay down without a fight. Eve lifted her mic, going for the throat just one more time.
"You didn't capture for justice, you sought to kill a girl you hate!
"Phoenix Wright had to lecture you to save your brother's fate.
"You have family, still alive, but you yell at him all day.
"Exactly what he did, when he led the courts astray.
"My burning was an accident, I tried decades to overcome.
"And now I finally have, while you cling to your scum.
"You'll become an old hag when the day is finally done,
"Though... by game standards, y'are. Isn't fiction life great?
"At least when my end came, my cast could celebrate,
"'Cause unlike 'merica, Labrynthia pulled a fourth break.
"We'll never play again, it's storytellers' choice.
"So let's end this petty fight with the strongest woman's voice.
"I came before you and I end this, you'll never challenge another.
"In the meantime, kiss my ass. Pretend it's her mother."
The entire crowd collectively gasped, then burst into applause. Eve lived the moment up, taking a moment to bow.
She didn't see what her opponent was up to, but she could only assume it was the same thing. That is, until a prison guard approached her, and she was escorted back to prison.
As Aura Blackquill was carried out, Eve heard the announcers speak once more, to ask the age old question:
"Who won? Who's next? You decide!"
I hope that wasn't terrible. I may go back and edit everything through. But before I do, I have two announcements to make:
1. As anyone who also reads Rebirth may already know, I'm initiating a fan project: the fanfiction creation of AAI3. But I don't want this project to belong to just me. I want to share with the community. And the best way to do that is to let anyone and everyone add their contributions. Which they can do here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VV_80EEXnlI_lThRrDV0allRDHzeyHRRA49AJH7eR48/edit?usp=docslist_api
2. I want the sixth ERB:AA to be... a mass rap battle. And by mass, I mean four or five rappers, as opposed to the normal two. They can be in teams, but they don't have to be. The only canon characters off limits are those exclusive to AA6.
Can't wait to hear your suggestions, please check out the doc, and I'll see you on the far side!
Chapter 6: Engarde vs. Gavin vs. Keyes vs. Dahlia
This wasn't an actual request for a mass rap battle, but it's an idea I had a while ago when I couldn't choose between Kristoph vs. Keyes (as suggested by CzarThwomp) and Kristoph vs. Dahlia (suggested by both JordanPhoenix and AnimeVirtuoso). So I combined the requests and added Engarde (because... Matt) and yay! Big Bad boss battle FTW! Now to actually write it...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
#6: Matt Engarde vs. Kristoph Gavin vs. Simon Keyes vs. Dahlia Hawthorne
"You'll never believe what I found, sir!"
For once in his barely-competent, bumbling life, the detective had been correct. Miles Edgeworth could not believe what he'd just witnessed on the prison security tapes.
It was the middle of the week, and another courthouse rap competition wasn't due for three days. But due to the increasing popularity and recent prisoner participation, it seemed certain prisoners had decided rap battles were a sufficient way of... exorcising spirits?
Confused (and, quite frankly, exasperated the warden thought bringing this issue to him was a good idea), Edgeworth called Wright and Pearl Fey in for their... wisdom on the matter.
And, lucky for Edgeworth, his consultants of choice had just arrived.
"Did Gumshoe miss something when he came to get us?" Phoenix asked, shoulders drooping. "Because I could have sworn he said-"
"I'm telling you, pals! Dahlia Hawthorne is haunting the one of the men's cell blocks! A bunch of prisoners got tired of it and tried to exorcise her the way Mia Fey did, you know, insulting her and stuff, but then-"
"HOLD IT! Dahlia was a female prisoner. Why would she haunt the men's side?"
"The prisons were renovated soon after Miss Hawthorne was executed," Edgeworth explained. "Her former cell block became used for men."
"Still... Kristoph? Rapping? I won't believe that without proof."
"And proof we have, pal!" Gumshoe was ridiculously pleased with himself. "I got security footage of the whole thing."
"Excuse me? Mr. Edgeworth?" Pearl Fey spoke up for the first time since coming in. "Why would she come back to this world? I thought Mystic Mia sent her away."
"That's what I believed as well. It's why I called you here. After your cousin, I'm told you're the most powerful spirit medium in your village. Since your is on vacation, I asked for you."
"Oh! Um..." Pearl raised her hand to her face, chewing on her thumb. "Can I see the footage? Maybe I'll understand better if I see what's happening."
"Certainly," Edgeworth pushed his glasses up his nose, slid the tape into its player, and let the video play.
This. Was. Ridiculous.
Kristoph Gavin did not belong in general population. Unfortunately, one could only fake insanity for so long before a doctor saw straight through you. Or, in this case, a psychology inc;ined prosecutor who recently got exonerated. What business was it of his?
Condemned to the constant threat of murder, injury, or... worse things, Kristoph had used what little influence he still had on the outside world to gain favor with the infamous Supplier, not to mention his apprentice.
But even the boss (sorry, prisoner B-055) couldn't protect him from redheaded she-demons who threatened he and his cellmate's room every night.
The guards, of course, knew nothing. They'd just laughed when he told him his cell was haunted by the ghost of a serial killer. They said it was his reflection.
"You gotta admit, dude, that was funny," Matt Engarde was watching him, speaking as though he's actually heard his thoughts. "Have a sense of humor, every now and then."
"Hm," honestly, Kristoph didn't see the point. A sense of humor wasn't going to remove his life sentence in prison.
"You better not be making this up," Simon Keyes said by way of greeting, stepping into their cell. "If you're trying to learn how to pull a practical joke, this is a terrible way to start."
"You really think Krissy here has enough sense of humor to make this up? I saw her too, you know."
"Enough," Kristoph silenced the two men. "Miss Hawthorne, if you intend to haunt our cell for eternity, you'll need to step it up. So far, you can't even show yourself in front of Mr. Engarde. How's a ghost like you supposed to be terrifying when she acts so cowardly?"
Out of nowhere, a growling sound began to fill the small room, echoing off the cement walls and bouncing back, making it impossible to tell where the noise was coming from.
"What an easily provoked ghost," Keyes laughed drily, mimicking the sound without much effort. "Come out, little girl. We all know I'm a better version of you anyway."
"Not... true..." before their eyes, a wild mane of red hair materialized, despite the rest of her body being white. "I'm far better known."
"That's hardly something to brag about, lady," Engarde started. "Trust me: I know bad press.
"Look, we can throw shade at you all day, so let's speed this up: I know a certain charity project that we can use and save time. Rap battle, right here."
Was he insane? Kristoph could have just sworn that idiot Engarde just suggested-
"I don't partake in such activities," Kristoph replied coldly.
The ghost laughed at those words. "A rap battle? Between the three of you? Sounds fun. I'll keep the beat."
Could he wake from this nightmare at anytime soon? "That's enough-"
Engarde ignored him, like always. Jumping headfirst into trouble was his specialty.
"So it starts up again, the new prison blues.
"I came before all you: you can't stand in my shoes.
"I turned the series on it's head, first shock Big Bad.
"Unlike you, Krissy Gavin. Intro case is all you had.
"And presenting, the most unoriginal villain anyone ever saw:
"Keyes copied every predecessor, and one of them was moi!
"Like a fresh spring breeze, I fly right past.
"Watch out, Dollie Hawthorne, I got these bastards on blast!"
Kristoph raised an eyebrow at these allegations. The urge to respond was too delicious to resist. Maybe he was still insane, after all. That was the only reason a rap battle could possibly make sense.
"Your order in the lineup is all you have to say?
"Well, with that I can see they'd get you out the way.
"Both you did no work of your own and wore a paper thin disguise.
"Now accomplices want to kill you. What a lovely non-surprise.
"And all because 'Garde wanted him to break before their eyes.
"Which I did, ten times over. Now, you two, move aside.
"As I exorcise incompetent, wasteful spawn of a spirit guide.
"I pulled off everything you failed, and in the end, stayed alive."
Dahlia Hawthorne stopped keeping time, demonic face contorted in shock. Behind her, Simon Keyes began to laugh. "Oh, this is good."
The she-demon entered the battle arena swinging, Engarde and Keyes taking up the beatboxing. At this point, they were attracting the attention of other prisoners. Not to mention the guards.
"Think you're better, pretty boy, because you have more time to suffer?
"The last plan wasn't mine! It was the stupidity of my mother.
"Now I'm on forbidden list, get to rest in the burner.
"Oh, and when did any of you get away with a murder?
"That's right, I'm head bitch. Mass of men on their knees,
"In love with me, to service me, in any way I please.
"Your downfall, Phoenix Wright? He swallowed glass for me.
"I bat my pretty eyes, and get away with any deed.
"I took more souls than both of you, you failed three, two , and one killing.
"Now inferiority haunts your dreams, alongside my shrilling."
Engarde was staring at the woman in shock, trying to put together just what she'd implied about them. Kristoph, on the other hand, had no trouble understanding the implications.
Simon Keyes, on the other hand, could not stop laughing. "Now it's my turn."
Of course he waited until the end. Everyone knew how powerful the last word could be.
"You took more souls than all of us? I see someone's forgotten.
"I ensured the death of four. You hear that one often?
"Put two more in prison, framed three more, and caused amnesia.
"Pulled off everything y'all didn't, and used less effort just to teach ya.
"I mastermind the game, drive Edgeworth insane.
"I got that man to defend me, and not by kidnapping a dame.
"You all are in here 'til you die, got some targets on your back.
"I got the cops to cry for me, gettin' out in ten years flat.
"Took down everyone who hurt me, got them to do my work,
"If more people heard of me, I'd beat you all as fans' first.
"All three you cause your downfall, while I induce mine with pride.
"In the end I'm glad to be here, with Dogen at my side.
"So goodbye, redhead bitch, 'cause it's time for you to see.
"All the reasons you think your great are better shown within me."
And with his verse, Dahlia Hawthorne couldn't choose who to focus on, glaring daggers at each man in turn. Finally, she gave up, fleeing through the ceiling.
Keyes wiped off his hands, smug to the core. "And that, rookies, is how you out-rap a ghost."
"Hey dude, we did the real work here. You just struck after she was cornered."
"Your point? That's how I always do things."
"He isn't wrong," Kristoph acknowledged. "If we had done this for the court, they'd be questioning who won."
Engarde laughed. "Oh, and they'd wonder who's next. I wonder who actually gets to decide. Sure isn't us."
"I bet it's the audience on the fourth wall," Keyes replied. "That's how these projects always work."
I am SO SORRY this took so long. Originally, I had everybody going back in forth, but then, even I couldn't keep track of who was burning who and who was responding to which burn. In the end, everyone just got a single verse.
So there you have it. My four favorite AA villains, going head to head in a scenario where I was probably sleep deprived when I thought of it. I write a lot of weird stuff when I'm sleep deprived. Like this one kink meme fill about Kristoph being a demon and possessing Athena... I don't know where any of this comes from.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the rap battle, the first written material for AAi3 is being posted tomorrow, so the next ERB:AA is only coming when I get burned out on that. In the meantime, the seventh rap battle... is where you choose between my three favorite unfilled requests so far:
1. Pearl Fey vs. Trucy Wright
2. Manfred Von Karma vs. Damon Gant
3. (Okay, I came up with this one on my own) Naruhodou Ryunnosuke vs. Apollo Justice
Whichever gets the most votes is Rap Battle #7. Thanks for tuning in, keep your eyes peeled for AAI3, and I'll see you on the far side!
Chapter 7: MVK vs. Gant
I'm so sorry this took so long, guys. I meant to get it out August 21st, but I was so busy preparing for school. And this weekend was the first time I caught a real break.
That said, hope you enjoy this battle! The winners of the popular vote contest by a large margin (in other words, all the Big Bads who didn't make into the last battle (except the Phantom. But what would he even rap about?)) are channeled and ready to throw down! Whoo hoo!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
#7: Manfred Von Karma vs. Damon Gant
"Who thought this was a good match-up?!"
Phoenix had to take a step back. "Calm down, Edgeworth. They were nominated by popular vote, especially after that prison video went viral."
"Why does everyone want a taste of criminal?" Edgeworth turned away, walking towards his office window. "I'm not going, okay Wright?"
"No one said you had to. It's... I get it. You don't have to come if it's too much for you."
And with that, Wright left him, walked right out the door. Edgeworth ripped the glasses off his face, wiping them aggressively.
He hadn't faced either man in over a decade. He thought he would've been over it by now, but when he heard...
The people closest to Von Karma had lucked out, when he hung himself in prison. Unlike Edgeworth's subordinates, they faced no social obligation to visit their fallen relative, no need to care for him in his final years. Edgeworth wasn't sure he could have brought himself to do such a thing. Not after everything that man had done to him. Still, he felt like it was something he should have done...
He sighed. Such complicated matters were far easier to deal with when the man who created them was dead. One less voice among the raging noise.
Edgeworth never had to face what his mentor really was. At least, not to the man's face.
He could only imagine the Skye sisters felt the same.
The courtroom held a surprising lack of familiar faces in the audience, though still filled to the brim with rap fans. They'd increased ticket prices from two dollars to five, but it deterred no one.
On each bench stood a spirit medium, eyes solemn but determined. Neither Maya nor Pearl Fey had agreed to participate in the channeling, for differing reasons. Maya because she was studying overseas in the kingdom of Khura'in, and Pearl because of what one man had done to "Mystic Maya".
"Hey hey hey y'all! You ready for week six?"
The crowd cheered. "Well I'm sure you G's got the lowdown on the video out the slammer this week. Last countin' says the battle reached two million hits!"
More applause. "In honor of the event's growing popularity, this battle was decided by popular vote. And the results are in!"
The audience turned their gaze to the courtroom section of the gallery, staring blankly. One audience member was particularly confused.
"...who voted for the two cult women? 1800's and rabbit man all the way, man!"
"Since both G's have bit the dust, we called in some backup from the spirit turf. They gonna be channelin' Manfred Von Karma!"
"Versus! Damon Gant!"
"Let the rap battle begin!"
In seconds, signs of the channeling began to appear. Manfred Von Karma was the first to fully materialize, and turned his microphone on with disdain. He'd been briefed on what was happening at an earlier time, but still wasn't particularly inclined to this style of music. He preferred opera himself.
"Hmph. Well, I suppose we must start.
"But long after I depart.
"I've yet to be challenged by this lightning haired upstart.
"You say you ran the courthouse, but I disagree.
"Your puppet in my office couldn't lay a finger on me.
"You fight to catch criminals, but what's this I hear?
"Your bumbling incompetence nearly let Darke disappear.
"You dare slaughter prosecutors, the upholders of this hall?
"I'll declare your guilt a second time, hear you laugh as you fall.
"Ha, how funny, you've dis'pointed us all."
Damon Gant let the beat play for a few seconds, fixing his opponent with his once-infamous glare. Unlike Manfred Von Karma, he was delighted to be here. So smiled and let the old man have it:
"Calm down, Manny-boy, come with me for a swim.
"It was a fact from the start that you were never meant to win.
"Wrighto got you good, you must admit as much.
"But you ended yourself, with your revenge and such.
"Not content to simply get away with Greggo's death,
"You threw Worthy into jail for what he did losing breath.
"I fought to stop the crime, you fought only to win.
"In the end, perfection's pride became your greatest sin.
"And now that hell's fire has consumed you from within.
"Let me take you to a swimming pool, for a short little spin."
"Ooh!" the audience reacted on time, though it was doubtful half of them knew what these men were referencing. They hadn't even been alive when DL-6 or SL-9 went down. Gant was yukking it up like an animal in Von Karma's eyes.
So he silenced the audience with a single snap and growl, smirking like a successful hunter.
"Enough with this babble, I see you in your scrabble.
"You can't escape foolishness no matter how far you travel.
"Pitiful Edgeworth was weak, romanticism his vice.
"He sought to set a criminal free, and paid the ultimate price.
"He stained my reputation, weakened the beacon against crime.
"Such a pain in my shoulder, costing me a day of time.
"I never lost for forty years, prosecutors call me God.
"Now two more follow in my footsteps, spreading impacts long and broad.
"I taught Franziska well, in her the house is strong.
"I ran the golden age, without me, success was gone.
"I'm tired of your babble, always claiming this or that.
"I'll win this courtroom battle in only three minutes flat.
"I tried to teach Miles, but weakness spread to the son.
"My ATM is 0001, for only I am number one!"
"Ooh!" this was a different type of reaction, as hundreds of people whipped out their phone at once, trying to access his bank account. Then they all remembered he died eleven years ago, and the account was inherited by his daughter. She changed the password.
In all the money crazed hullabaloo, the audience completely forgot Damon Gant had another verse. His clapping quickly reminded them.
"Oh brava, good show! But you forgot Wrighto,
"And how you brought your empire down, with a detector and Miss Poll-o!
"You instigated a crime, something you claim to hate.
"Then forgot to destroy the letter, which ought to do out the gate.
"You treat the rest of us like bugs, while I control them all
"All your career, we just wanted you to fall.
"So count on my ID, seven repeats of seven.
"You were disgraced, then you died, and now you'll never get to heaven.
"I left my legacy in words, 'take them down, do what's needed'.
"Worthy nearly died, but it was advice Wrighto heeded.
"We ran kingdoms of darkness before the Dark Age of the Law.
"If your heart was free from madness, we could almost call a draw.
"Too bad you'll never win, not again in this hall.
"They've moved on and forgotten, and now, our judges' call!"
Rimes was the first to get the cue: "Who won? Who's next?"
"You decide!" Wocky joined in just a bit too late, barely heard as the gallery watchers burst into applause. Who knew dead old men rapping about stuff in history would be so profitable?
I think my characters are becoming a little too self-aware. Ah well. This was fun.
That's the rap everybody! Don't expect the next one anytime soon, but y'all can nominate whoever you want. Just be warned I won't be able to play SoJ right when it comes out (four days from now. EEEEE!!!), so I'll you know when those requests can be made. Other than that, there are no restrictions. You can ask for DGS characters, if you want.
Anyway, thanks for reading, please review, hope you contribute to AAI3, and I'll see you on the far side!
Chapter 8: Ryu vs. Apollo
Warning: The following rap battle features spoilers for both DGS and SoJ. If you have not played either game, or don't know much about them, this battle may not be that enjoyable for you. You have been notified.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
#8: Naruhodou Ryuunosuke vs. Apollo Justice
After six rap battles (and the city government finally agreeing to allocate funds), the reconstruction of Courtroom No. 4 was well underway in Los Angeles. All the battles, including that really random one from the central prison, were uploaded to various websites where they generated millions of views each. Online comments often asked for an eighth (or seventh, however this was being counted) battle to occur, but the charity project was over. With all the legal reforms going into effect, lawyers, prosecutors, and everyone close to them were too busy to host a weekend rap battle.
...In America, that is.
Nahyuta Sahdmadhi was struggling. He'd never had much consideration for money, and now he was in charge of billions. Three million people depended on the government to preform their basic duties, and while the regent didn't want to raise taxes, he was admittedly at a loss for what to do.
Part of the deal for bringing the Defiant Dragons back into society was that they wouldn't be charged for the millions in property damage they'd caused and that their non-violent charges would be dropped. In addition to repairs post-riot and investigation of government offices, Nahyuta sought to offer incentives and education for lawyers to be trained in Khura'in, or at least assist his poor brother. Not only that, but he'd been talked into promising partial reparations for all the people who'd been abused by the legal system. He'd already sold off the extravagances of his predecessor, but it wasn't enough.
Until Detective Skye had told him about what her home had done.
He'd been hesitant. While not a stranger to the style of music known as rap, it wasn't something he pictured Khura'in embracing. When a certain head monk had gone to jail for murder, his brothers had been quick to cite his love of harsh music as a sign he'd been tempted by demons. And not, you know, money and possible blackmail from the ex-Minister of Justice.
But then she'd brought the idea to Rayfa. And his mother. And Datz. They all thought it was hilarious. But they didn't know the first thing about rap.
So they found someone who did. Plus a... rather interesting opponent. Rayfa was convinced she could channel him, and was working tirelessly with Mother to bring him up to speed.
Nahyuta was concerned, but also intrigued. And he still had to ask Apollo.
"You want me to do what?"
Apollo knew he shouldn't be surprised anymore. With his luck, anything could happen. But still...
"Has anyone in Khura'in ever heard rap music?"
"Not that I know of. You get to set the standard."
"...Along with a guy who was born in the 1800's and doesn't know modern English. How is this battle in any way fair?"
"Well, when you put it that way... I daresay it would be very embarrassing if you lost."
"I haven't even agreed to do this yet!"
Nahyuta closed his eyes, pondering. "How about this? If you agree to help raise money this way, Mother will channel your opponent for the duration of a case and take one off your chest. Pending his consent."
Hm... Apollo could really do with some help around here. He imagined a Japanese man who immigrated to Great Britain in 1900 would have... about the same amount of knowledge he did about Khura'inese law.
At this point, it wasn't like anything else could go wrong. Why not take the crazy pills? Clearly everyone else had.
Oh, who was he kidding? He was going to regret this.
"Hey hey hey everybody! Happiraki, it's your MC, the Dragon Dude, ready to bust a... how does the phrase go again?"
"Bust a beat. It's not that hard." Whoever thought making Ema and Datz co-MC's was either an idiot or a comedic genius. She turned to the audience, who'd mostly purchased tickets out of sheer curiosity. "Well, we got a circus act here for you today."
"That's enough!" Rayfa protested from the prosecutor's bench. "This is no circus act. This is the nation's princess, Rayfa Padma Khura'in, proving she can channel spirits once and for all, long enough for the duration of a foreign music competition!"
"Yeah, what I said." The forensic's investigator handed her microphone back to the ex-rebel, muttering under her breath.
"Okay okay! It's like Her Benevolence said. In one corner, we have your boy AJ. Son of the OP-"
"OG dragon, and student of the blue phoenix!"
Cheering. Public opinion of the guy, and lawyers, had sure turned around in the span of a few months. To many, Apollo was their personal hero. Others liked him because Lady Amara, now co-regent to her daughter, had declared him her adopted son. Anyone she loved, they did.
"Versus! A foreign Japanese, similar in kind and different in time. Introducing Naruhodou Ryuunosuke!"
Rayfa called his soul to her body, fingers pointed skyward. For a second, nothing happened. But then...
Her height was the first thing to change. Her shoulders broadened as she grew taller, erasing her feminine features with those of a smallish man. Her facial features changed to those of another race, eyes widening and twitching with surprise. Apollo could almost relate.
"I-I'm possessing a young woman again? What strange afterlife is this?"
"Hey dude! Welcome to Khura'in!"
"I've never heard of this place. Do all dead souls come here?"
"Let the rap battle begin!"
"Oh, not that strange music again..."
Apollo figured he should go first, maybe give the guy an idea of what to do. Luckily, he'd been able to research the man before the battle started.
"Welcome, my friend, to the modern age
"You may not know, but my name is big beyond the stage.
"I'm a lawyer, stage assistant, snarker and regime toppler.
"Put two dark ages to bed, when no one else could stop her.
"I'm Apollo, I'm fine, and I don't give up.
"You're a substitute student, you can never measure up.
"You say you sailed to London, and you did the best you can.
"But we Westerners all know that you never left Japan."
The spirit didn't seem as frozen anymore, now that the battle was going. In fact, his retort came pretty quickly.
"Morning to you sir, which backstory'd you prefer?
"You have three options, and none in which the clouded heart shall stir.
"In this runaway room, your arrogance will end soon.
"Your speckled band will break your hand when I destroy this goon.
"I don't rely on magic to win my own trials.
"Nor panties, fake kidnappers, or a wrestler's acting guile.
"I kept my head on mostly straight when I traveled 'cross the world.
"My descendant made you pawn, took the system for a whirl."
So this Ryuunosuke guy had been given time to research Apollo. Great... Well, he couldn't leave his opponent with too much time. He had to retort.
"You think you're a hot new hero? You couldn't be milder.
"I took a bomb to the face, then it only got wilder.
"I flew through case number eight, while you're still on your fifth-"
"-Yes, but unlike you I don't pretend that three don't exist."
"Don't be so sure 'bout that. Soseki's better off forgotten.
"You call me a pawn, with what Megundal would've gotten?
"You beat a racist drunk in court, oh how amazing.
"He's the reaper of what he sows, with the carriage blazing.
"I'll give the closing argument here, don't stand there and pout.
"Let's put our heads together, Joint Logic this out.
"I took down Phoenix Wright, now I'm king of Turnabout!"
"Ooh!" The crowd hit their cue, even though it was obvious no one knew what they were talking about. Not that it had been much better in LA, if Apollo was honest.
This was strangely stress relieving, to spit out his bitterness on a hip hop beat. He wondered how the dead guy was doing.
Oh wait, he was laughing. "You might call yourself a king, you're the almost-son of one.
"Plus a musician, and a lawyer, and now they're all gone.
"Everyone who loves you dies, it's no longer a surprise.
"The real one was you falling for that phantom's framing, how unwise.
"And what's up with your Jurist system? Why's this MASON man so shady?
"Are you really in charge of that story? Because the line got really hazy.
"I solve cases, elementary, with my friend Holmes it's vital-"
"-With him there they'll forget you."
"Least my name's still in the title.
"You're overrated, I'm the rage. I haven' got an equal.
"Still confused how I did it? Wait for the sequel."
The two men lowered their microphones at once, and applause broke out. A second later, Rayfa lost control of the spirit, and he left this world once more.
Her face was red. "Apologies, good people... I guess I need more training."
And with that, Datz finally got his voice back. "Well damn! MC Dragon Dude is impressed!"
Ema, meanwhile, stuck to the script. "Who won? Who's next? You decide!"
Great... please don't pick me again, guys. I have cases to work on.
A/N's: First of all, a thousand apologies for not posting for so long. I don't have a concrete excuse, just... I wanted to do this matchup for a while, but I also wanted to play SoJ first. And go back through the YouTube sub of DGS, make sure all my jokes were accurate. Sorry if you don't understand some of them, or are waiting for the fan translation. I left out references to the finale for that very reason.
That said, this now means SoJ characters are fair game for upcoming rap battles! Vote in whoever you want, and at least for a little while, our rap battles will be taking place in Khura'in. Be convenient if you picked characters here, know what I'm saying?
Also, I wanna clarify a line. When Ryu says all of Apollo's father figures are gone, it just means they aren't in his life anymore. I am not implying Phoenix is dead. I just realized it could be read that way. Whoops.
Again, sorry for the wait, and I hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to leave your thoughts below, as well as your choice for our next victi-I mean participants!
Chapter 9: Gregory vs. Dhurke
I should really be doing homework, but honestly, this is way more fun. And easier.
Anyway, this was suggested to me by someone on ff.net (CzarThwomp), and I think it's an intriguing premise. Imagine: Edgeworth comes to visit and see how his one-time subordinate is doing... only to find out their dead fathers are rap battling.
Hey, at least Apollo got his wish.
PS: a few lines in here are a thinly veiled reference to my utmost favorite ERB of all time. Whoever guesses it gets... something from me. Probably a fic review or an internet hug. Or both.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
#9: Dhurke Sahdmadhi vs. Gregory Edgeworth
"Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth. What brings you to this humble nation?" Nahyuta Sahdmadhi received him warmly at the entrance to the royal residence. His appearance had changed little, but he was almost unrecognizable. Never during his short time in America had Edgeworth seen him with that much of a smile on his face.
"A few things, actually." Edgeworth pushed his glasses up, eyeing the monk/prosecutor/regent. "Wright sent me here believing I'd get some well deserved rest. Though I suspect he had a second motive."
"The welfare of Apollo, I presume?" Sahdmadhi waved a servant away. It seemed he had people seeking an audience with him. "My brother is quite busy, but last I knew he was well. Unfortunately, I haven't prosecuted a case in weeks. The two of us haven't seen each other since the foreign music competition where..." he suppressed his laughter, "Apollo was voted to have lost to a man who'd never heard rap music."
Edgeworth snorted. That must have been quite the embarrassment. "No, Wright contacts Mr. Justice often. You, however, are far more difficult to get in touch with. He believed I stood a better chance at meeting with you."
That caught the man's attention. "And Mr. Wright has an interest in my well-being? We... didn't exactly meet under the best of circumstances."
"You mean, prosecuting his assistant shortly after charging his daughter with murder?" He smiled ruefully. "Wright's not the type to hold a grudge, once the truth is revealed. I fear, after your father's passing, you might be his latest adoption."
"Nonsense." Nevertheless, the man was amused. Then he remembered. "Oh! That gives me an idea. If it obtains your approval, and the Holy Mother is willing..." he discussed the matter with his former boss, who agreed after some persuasion. For better or worse, it would certainly be an... interesting sight to see.
"Wassup wassup wassup! Dragon Dude is back for second reapings!"
"Oh my... please never do that again." Ema was burying her face in her labcoat. "You're about three decades too late to sound cool. Why do I have to be here with you?"
Datz just shrugged it off. "Last week, you got a taste of the new dragon's fangs, now get a load of this! It's the OG Dragon, my ol' friend from out the womb and beyond the grave. Getting channeled in from the Twilight Realm, it's Dhurke Sahdmadhi!"
Reactions surrounding the announcement were a little on the mixed side. While cleared of all charges he faced in life, twenty three years of fear and anger were hard to let go of. Still, many former rebels were attending the rap battle held in the temple (they'd been forced to move out of the courtroom due to the case backlog), and cheered plenty loud enough to make up for it.
"Versus! Mr... Edgeworth?" Ema had to look at her card again. "Is that why he flew in?"
Datz gave her a blank stare. "No. We're channeling both opponents. Yuty gave me the heads up."
"Mr. Edgeworth is dead?!"
"Yeah. He died when you were an infant." Datz was confused. "How do you know this Gregory guy?"
Snackoo eating. "...Simple mistake. Just get on with the channelings." How was she not getting paid overtime for this?
"When the spirits are channeled... let the rap battle begin!"
Amara laughed. This was the perfect practice for Rayfa, who still needed to get better at holding a spirit down. But Amara was confident.
...Oh! She should probably get channeling. Gregory Edgeworth would look quite dashing with light hair.
Nevertheless, Rayfa had Dhurke channeled first. So he was the one to kick the battle off.
"Gah-ha-ha! Good morning, Khura'in!
"Waged years of revolution, now I'm legend, country's fine.
"When things got tough, I just bit down harder.
"When the year long case was out, you were ripe for the slaughter.
"Misty Fey brought you back, and the truth? You attack.
"Why'd you lie about the Yogi guy? Cut him some slack!
"Naming him sent justice Miles out of whack.
"Fix in fifteen years, it appears. Or eighteen, I suppose.
"Leaving cases so unfinished isn't the path I'd have chose.
"But what do I know? You work your own country's field.
"I'll push through mine, win just in time.
"'Cause dragons never yield!"
So this was he had been channeled once more for? A rap battle against a revolutionary? An odd way to use one's supernatural power, to be sure, but Gregory wasn't about to tell women what to do with their bodies.
And now he had to give a verse back? He hadn't been the greatest fan of hip-hop in his life, but he supposed he could throw some words together.
"Yes, you died before a medium and harrassed your lost son.
"Fifteen years after leaving him. And he got your job done.
"Miles has grown so much, I'd never push him down my path.
"But your poorly thought out plan put your children in near bloodbath.
"Apollo nearly died twice in your whole scheme.
"You put your eldest in a viper's nest to achieve your own dreams.
"And excuse me for insulting your closely held ideal.
"But your organization has only a nonsensical appeal.
"You won only through chance, matters you couldn't have predicted.
"Your movement lacked force, when legal sister's lies existed.
"But thanks to all your praying, a miracle's occurred.
"Where three shots seem to fail, I end you with a word."
Gregory thought he'd done a decent enough job. Too bad his opponent was Santa Claus-ing his head off.
"Three bullets can't stop the full truth!
"I'll give this posh poser the full deuce!
"Hadn't for th' unpredicted, your son'd still be a demon.
"I'd give my life for my family, even if it meant treason.
"Of course this wanted man wanted the brightest future for his children!
"You think a man likes to admit he lost them to a villain?
"You died before your time, I had to watch evil thrive.
"But I couldn't let it go, else hope'd never stay alive.
"So I put it on the line, fought on past my time.
"It was my only chance to see justice shine!
"Any words you throw at me, I'll just return to sender.
"I battled past the end, and no, I never surrendered!"
His former followers all cheered from the gallery. Some of them were even seated on the temple floor, there were so many. It almost overwhelmed the long-dead man.
Wow. The rap genre had sure changed in the twenty-seven years he hadn't been alive. It made Gregory nostalgic, for life.
But all great things must come to an end. Even this rap battle.
"It's times like this I remember time as a father.
"No guns hidden away, no wars to raise the water.
"And the bravest man to ever live.
"Is the man who'd lose his life to protect his kids.
"You understand what I mean, why I thought it Yogi on the scene.
"Who made sure I never lived to see my greatest dream.
"Don't try to stir up pity, you got to see the end.
"I died in the dark, without foe or friend.
"All I had was my son, who lived on haunted.
"Your biological children exploited, forced around, and flaunted.
"We both failed as fathers, me because of death.
"May we end this battle now, and draw our true final breath."
The battle ended. Nahyuta Sahdmadhi and Miles Edgeworth had been watching from the gallery. But they didn't hear the announcers ask their typical questions.
They were too lost in their tears.
Sorry, I got a bit emotional in this battle. Be it 6-5 or I2-3, both these men, seeing them in action and them learning of/remembering their deaths... I still tear up a little. Just imagine their sons.
Still... any thoughts on who won? Who's next? What rap battle and novel I was so blatantly giving a shoutout to? I kinda wanna do a battle similar to Raputin vs. Stalin or Ivan the Terrible vs. Alexander the Great where the battle starts as two people, but more just keep showing up out of nowhere. Any ideas for that? It's the special tenth battle!
Well, leave thoughts in the comments, I guess. Thanks for reading and putting up with my dry spells in updating. See you soon, I hope!
Chapter 10: Zak vs. Valant
Whoo hoo! I'm back for number ten in the series! I'm excited for it, and I hope you all enjoy. I've been reading through past battles, and a lot of them are hit or miss. I like to think I'm getting better with time and practice, but am I really?
Anyway, let's get moving on this. Everyone's favorite rival magicians, about to throw down in a brand new field! This request was actually one of the originals from the kink meme prompt, though CzarThwomp also asked for something similar.
Also yes, I have played Asinine Attorney. Why do you ask?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney
#10: Zak Gramarye vs. Valant Gramarye
"How are gonna do this battle? The battles are taking place in Khura'in now! Sure, one guy needs to be channeled, but the other's still in American prison. No way they're gonna let us move him for a rap battle!" Marlon was freaking out when MC Dragon Dude faxed him the newest request. How was this battle going to fit into the larger narrative?
"Blow the steam down, G! I got jus' the thing for this!" Wocky had a smirk on his face and a gleam in his eye. "You know what dem Capcom G's did when they wanted to put together sumthin' not in canon? We ain't a serious fanfiction. We can do it."
"...I actually don't know." Marlon paused. "Wait, how do you know? Neither of us were in that last game!"
"I got ears." Wocky was smug. "Look, all we gotta do is hit up on the judge bench and say some stuff." He dug through his pocket for a slip of paper as they walked up to their spots. "Here ya go."
Marlon read aloud. "Welcome to Ace Attorney Theater- or in this case, ERB:AA theater. Today's is a rap battle drama of the most peculiar kind: It's a 'what if' story that may have happened in another world, not unlike our own. 'How peculiar could it be?' you might wonder, and to that, I wouldn't know the answer. But please don't take this too seriously-- just simply relax and enjoy the madcap fun."
"We good now?" Wocky asked the ceiling.
"Yes..." came a slow, booming voice from above. It was Author. "Let's get this party started."
And so, it began. Maya was ready to channel Zak Gramarye, much to Trucy's glee, and Valant Gramarye was given the same deal as Diego Armando to appear in the rap battle today. He wasn't quite sure what to expect from this ordeal, but it was an odd one, to be sure.
"Yo yo yo! We got another battle back in here for... some reason." Marlon shrugged it off. "But hey! You ready to spit it good, the audience is ready to cheer... we got ourselves a rap battle."
And the audience was certainly ready to cheer. There were just as many fans as their were back in the charity project's hayday.
"These G's a couple of magician fellas with beef datin' years back, ready to drag it to the court a secon' time. Introducin' Zak Gramarye!"
"Versus! Valant Gramarye!"
"Let the rap battle begin!"
Zak took a minute to be channeled so since Valant was already there, he figured her may as well go first. He turned his mic on, took a second to get used to the flow of the beat, and started to spit fire.
"Resurrected ex'piration, years after biting dust.
"Next time, bite the bullet. Then your wife'd remain with us.
"But if alive, would she stay? We heard your saga of times away.
"You compensate one to cheat, wallop her head in 'nice and sweet'.
"Phoenix Wright sought to help, you sought to ruin and repeat.
"Poor, pitiful Thalassa, matrimony to a deadbeat,
"You abandon your child. Thanks to that, she grew up well.
"Will Miss Trucy surpass your magic? The hands of time will tell.
"As for me, I pay my penance for helping rid the world of you.
"But once freed, I'll reappear, with an alakazoo!
"Zak Gramarye, fly away. Valant eternally returns.
"You've been dead since that day. Let's see you secure a burn."
To top it off, Valant gave the verse one hearty laugh. Much like putting on a show, the key to winning this battle was stage presence. And this time, he knew he would come out on top.
Too bad Zak Gramarye disagreed. His eyes narrowed the second he saw his old show partner. The dead man took the mic with a vengeance when he began his verse.
"Valant, you're a coward I thought I'd never see again.
"You put me in this mess and yet you try to impress
"Just how much better a person you are all because you can confess.
"I spent my years fleeing the trap you set for me, while
"You spent you years denying your own mediocrity.
"I'm the better magician, Magnifi said it himself.
"There's a reason you couldn' succeed. Take your fake pride off the shelf.
"And come face the man you are, without your persona's help.
"Strip your mind down to this. You aimed to kill me and you missed.
"I'd try in this battle, really, but the truth has you dissed.
"You can't be better than me, I beat you at everything.
"Magic, poker, love, and life, and even a marriage ring."
Most people walked into this battle expecting it to be vicious. These two had bad blood that just couldn't be healed by years apart. Everyone knew that.
Everyone except Trucy, it seemed. She watched the battle with teary eyes, making Phoenix wonder if it had been a good idea to bring her to this event.
And when Valant began his second verse, Phoenix knew he'd messed up. The man's supercillious masked slipped almost instantly.
"I deserved Magnifi's rights! I'm ten times the man you were.
"So the devil snared me once. Whole decision was a blurr.
"You mistreat all you meet, you didn't deserve all your talent.
"Neither did Magnifi, and so this valent man named Valant
"Sought to live beyond the troupe, rid myself of your group,
"And steal the world of magic in a well-placed coup.
"But I didn't make you scorn a lawyer, or plan a man to fail.
"Or even send that vengeful man to go crazy on your trail.
"You caused your own downfall more than I ever could.
"Ready to give in? We all think you should."
"Ouch!" The audience was cheering like rabid dogs, getting off on the raw hatred felt by the two ex-magicians. Trucy had left the courtroom by this point, causing Phoenix to run after her.
"Trucy, I'm sorry."
Unfortunately this caused the two characters to miss the end of the rap battle. Something Trucy would have wished she could see.
"Say what you want. The rights belonged to me.
"I risked life and limb to keep them in my family.
"You might say you one-upped me, but I dealt the final blow.
"Tricks will never be yours, never used in your 'show'!
"Your a hypocrite, you know? Stop seeking so much pity.
"Want me to pull a ghost trick? It won't be pretty.
"Either way, we're both done. Our work destroyed each other.
"Can you believe it? Once we were like brothers.
"But may this dark age end, and may Trucy light the way.
"My sweet, dear daughter. You're the last hand I play."
He looked up to see where his child had been sitting, only to see the spot was empty. His face fell. His spirit faded. What was the point?
Did Trucy want to meet with him? She must have been heartbroken to hear about all the bad things he'd done.
But he still cared about her. He always had. He just hoped that, despite everything, she at least knew that much about him.
He never had found Thalassa in the afterlife. Was she avoiding him too?
Zak faded from this world before he knew the answer, leaving the medium's body as her ears heard the parting.
"Who won? Who's next? You decide!"
So originally, I was going to include all of Troupe Gramarye in this battle, but I decided I liked the dynamic of these two too much to add anyone else. The Ivan vs. Alexander-esque battle will have to wait. But for anyone curious, Phoenix vs. Edgeworth is going to be quite similar to Hitler vs. Vader, taking place three times, each in a different era of their characters.
But we've got a long way until then. Feel free to suggest anyone you'd like, though my muse is so picky it may just go with something suggested forever ago. Nahyuta vs. Van Zieks sounds appealing. Gina vs. Kay would be fun if I hadn't already used Kay (that would have to be a really popular request for me to bring her back), and lots of other things. Maybe something with Klavier... oh gosh, I'm not even going to pretend I know what the next battle is!
Thanks for reading, leave your suggestions in the comments, and I'll see you on the far side!
Marlon hung his head when the new request came in. "Do I even want to know how we're going to pull this one off? Man, why are we gettin' all the crazy ones?"
Wocky shrugged. "Guess we gon' hafta pull the same trick as last time." He read the same thing he did from the last battle, and were immediately transported to the battle site. Except this time, there was no crowd in the gallery. They weren't even in the courthouse, but rather a high security prison's interrogation room. Instead of a crowd, there was a team of police officers and guards, one of which was operating a video camera. For security reasons, normal civilians wouldn't be allowed to watch the battle live. Even so, they were allowed to stream the video. Getting federal approval for the project hadn't been easy, but with a little bit of turbo author power on their side, anything was possible. So long as the prisoners followed their instructions and didn't rap about confidential information.
Despite the circumstances, Marlon was still able to put on his show face. He looked into the camera right as it began recording and announced: "And now, our faceless foes will face each other in a test of wits, answering the question once and for all. Which one is the better spy?"
"This is utterly pointless." The Phantom announced, a dead expression on his shadowed face. "Of all the cruel and unusual punishments in this country, this is what your government comes up with?"
"Gets the G's revenue, no doubt." Wocky answered, a fox-like grin on his face. "Introducing... the infiltrator best known as Calisto Yew!"
"Versus! Spy nickname The Phantom!"
"Let the rap battle begin!"
The Phantom still saw no benefits to participating in this endeavor. Though he knew plenty about his opponent, he felt no need to bash her via talk-singing, nor could he find any enjoyment to be had in this activity.
So best to get it over with. When the music began, he went first, speaking in deadpan monotone:
"Let's break this down quickly. I don't exactly have time
"For your demented laugh, so I'll be swift in my rhyme.
"You had a real shot, but your sense of humor blew it.
"After seven long years, one laugh and Edgeworth knew it.
"You're a traitor to your cause, ended your boss just because.
"Your emotions make you petty, they're the source of all flaws.
"I carry missions out in darkness. No one's seen beneath my mask.
"In the dark I start dark ages, no one knows my real task.
"I'm an enigma. I'm a mystery. Known to only a few.
"In one stab I'll strike you dead. Now no one ol' Miss Yew."
"...Pwh. Ah... Pwahahaha!" And with that, the beat dropped, waiting for her verse to start up again.
The woman took a few minutes to laugh, but was soon ready to begin. She fixed her lipstick as she rapped her verse.
"Cool it, old man. You're such a bore when you're serious.
"You think anyone likes you, all because you're mysterious?
"You failed your last few missions, you lack your own ambitions,
"And all your men betrayed you, shot you down t' prevent admissions.
"In our world of high crime, it's kill or be killed.
"So I saved my skin with Alba's. The ring can easily rebuild.
"All thanks to my plea, I'll be out in fifteen.
"I got away with double homicide, all on my own scheme.
"The only evidence time left can't be verified in court.
"And with a gun in my hand, I left straight for the airport."
His opponent was tough. Maybe it was time The Phantom pulled a trick. He knew his masks would come in handy again one day.
He'd show her just why it was wrong to have emotions. She was going to be a blubbering mess once he was finished.
So he pulled out the face of the man who shot at her: Tyrell Badd.
"Stop there, you traitor. The way you led us on a caper.
"Used our justice to aid crime, then disappeared like vapor."
"...The Yatagarasu ain't your playground, it's not Alba's tool.
"You give vigilantes bad names... two-faced ghoul."
Shi-Long Lang: "Shih-na, what have you done? How'd you enter Interpol?
"Did I care for a shell? What happened to your soul?
"You led my pack and I in circles, Calisto Yew was you.
"And yet after all you did, I took a bullet for you?"
Kay Faraday: "You think once you leave, this thief'll let you slip by?
"You killed my father! I won't let you be sly.
"You put a gun at me twice, yet I'm still around.
"I'm the one who tore your mask. Next time I'll take you down!"
And finally, Quercus Alba: "What an insolent traitor. Be prepared to end.
"You think I'm gone for good? My men will track you down and send
"You straight to your death. You aren't in prison forever.
"You'll lose this rap battle as your last endeavor."
For a split second, the woman was overwhelmed. But only for a second. Who did this man think she was? Did he really think all people with emotions were incapable of controlling them?
After betrayal, there was one thing that she did best. And that... was laugh at the cool. With tears (of laughter, of course) at the edge of her eyes, she pressed on ahead.
"You think your little masks can shield your fragile heart?
"A teen beat me to it: I don't know where to start.
"You wear your fake identities because you fear who you are.
"You don't know your true self. All your have is your scar.
"You might not know who I am, but that hardly matters.
"I know who I am, what I did, and when it all shatters,
"I'll be back at it again, and leave my past in tatters.
"There's nothing more for you. You were hated as a villain.
"People wished I was Big Bad. Of me you were a fill-in.
"Stick to being a detective, your injustice wasn't trusted.
"With a girl and a convict, the bombing ghost got busted.
"Who'd choose this expy over me? I'd be disgusted.
"Whether Yew or Shih-na, I get away with so much.
"All you have are tricks. What a cute little crutch.
"Now get back in your prison. Stop breaking architecture.
"Won't be coming back for seconds. Yew already wrecked ya."
The camera had to swing over to the two hosts of the battle. The waited until it was on them to deliver their ending line:
"Who won? Who's next! You decide!"
As long as I don't have to teleport into prisons no more. Marlon thought. This is getting crazy.
A/N's: So it's been a little while, but I'm finally back! Gotta say, I had fun with this battle. Especially the Phantom's second verse. Switching between the people's speaking styles mid-verse was fun. Four lines for four people, and somewhat reminiscent of his breakdown, where he switches willy-nilly. Much as I didn't enjoy the Phantom as a character, I loved his impression of Fulbright and enjoyed his breakdown quite a bit.
As for Yew, she's one of my favorite AAI characters. And I really do think she got away with her crimes in Turnabout Reminiscence. The only clue connecting her to Calisto Yew was a bottle kept in the possession of a biased third party (Kay). With the right attorney, she can ague she only claimed to be Yew on Alba's orders, and since they need her testimony to take down Alba, I would imagine she was given a plea deal for helping. Much like Keyes, she did so much and will likely pay so little for it all.
Also, this battle was suggested by Engardian and CzarThwomp (I use a lot of the latter's ideas. What can I say? They inspire me.). I don't have anything particular in mind for the next battle, but I would love to return to the Khura'in courtroom and use one of their characters. Also, I know what happens in both DGS and most of DGS2 (though I haven't experienced the latter's gameplay. The former, at least, had a YouTube translaton), so if anyone requests DGS characters, be warned. A Mia vs. Asougi battle, for example, would involve quite a few spoilers. Suggest whatever you want (I'm also open to doing intervention battles, a la Obama vs. Romney or Clinton vs. Trump), but I think it would be fun to work with the new characters.
Thanks for reading, don't forget to review, and I'll see you on the far side!
"Oh, stop your complaining! I did it first."
"I'm not complaining. I'm merely... Hesitant." Nahyuta replied, voice guarded. "I fear my performance in a rap competition would be unsatisfactory. It isn't a form of music I've dealt much with."
"You take yourself too seriously." Ema argued. "This project isn't about skill. It's about raising money for the reforms you want in this country."
Apollo continued before Nahyuta could get a word in. "Don't you think it would bring more attention to the cause if you made an appearance yourself? I'm sure the people of Khura'in would enjoy it no matter how well you do."
Both of them raised fair points. So far, Khura'in hadn't taken as well to the idea of rap battles, perhaps because the music style wasn't widely used in the area. The limited interest had caused the more recent competitions to revert back to their original location by an unknown higher power.
But his administration needed the money just as much as they had when the competitons started out. As the person who had signed off on the project, the responsibility chiefly lay with him when it came to making the project a success. He had spoke a good bit about supporting such an event (after being convinced himself, that is). Perhaps it was time he put his money where his mouth was, as Apollo once advised him.
"...Very well. I will announce my intent to compete. Who would the two of you have me oppose?"
Apollo and Ema shared a grin. "Someone we both know very well. He'll definitely help in bringing people's attention."
Oh Holy Mother... What have I done?
He walked over to his phone as it rang, forcing his caller through a long series of greetings before they got to the subject at hand.
"Rap battle? Ja, I remember them. They ended a long time ago. Courtroom No. 4 has been fixed ever since."
"No, they're still going. Just not in the US. The project was picked up in Khura'in a few weeks ago. I was the first one to go."
"Achtung! I missed that?" His voice was light as it teased Apollo. It'd been months since they last talked on the phone, but the man sounded the same as ever. "Herr Forehead! Why didn't you let me know? I would have loved to have seen you."
"Well, I'm letting you know now. We want you to compete in one against Nahyuta."
"Herr Sahdmadhi?" Klavier was confused. His encounters with the man had been limited when the foreign prosecutor was aiding their office last spring. But from what he'd heard... "He's your brother, ja? The prince?"
"Regent. He's serving as regent alongside his mother until his sister can take over. He's not actually a- anyway." Klavier wanted to laugh. Apollo always seemed so flustered. "Will you do it?"
"Herr Forehead. I'm a rock star, not a rap star. Not that I'd expect you to know, but they're very different styles of music. Even if I say ja, you can't expect me to be a talented performer in that area."
"Oh come on. I just went through this with-" a sigh. "No one is expecting you to be a rap genius. All the project is doing is helping fund legal reforms in the Kingdom of Khura'in. Pay for education of lawyers, integration of former rebels into society, reparations, stuff like that."
"So it's a charity event." Klavier smiled. "I do have a heart for charity. Count me in."
"Great. How soon can you get here?"
The battle took a few days to set up, giving ample time for each man to obsess over their opponent. While one may not always act like it, both were extreme perfectionists who took great pride in their work. Though a free style rap battle required one to be responsive to the jabs of the other (rehearsing the event beforehand was not an option), each walked into the temple room feeling they had a solid case to be made against the other person. The question was whether they would succeed at setting their points to the music. Klavier would also have to refrain from actually singing his raps.
"Weeeeeeeee're back, everybody! After a few weeks of passing the mic to our friends overseas, it's time for us to host another rap battle. Once again, it's your MC The Dragon Dude-"
"And- no, I'm not saying it." Ema protested. "I will not use that name."
"And what was this about me taking myself too seriously?" Nahyuta asked from his place at the prosecutor's bench.
Ema snorted. "Fine. In-V Skye, co-MC."
"That's the spirit!" Datz slapped her on the back, then continued. "And we're here to host your next rap battle! In one corner, you've got Dhurke's oldest boy, deliever of last rites, and you're own regent Nahyuta Sahdmadhi."
"Versus! Foreign rock star and prosecuting prodigy Klavier Gavin!"
"Let the rap battle begin!"
Klavier elected to go first. He was used to opening statements, and this allowed him to use a verse he'd put together the night before. He took a moment to get used to the beat, then began his assault:
"Ach! I can rap better than this Elsa-esque monk can.
"Not a court trial, it's a concert... with the prince-man.
"You hide behind religion, justifiy your cruelty for you.
"Is Her Holiness gonna take this battle for you?
"You seemed to be on both sides, with the rebels and the queen.
"Only ever pretended to support your father's dream.
"I don't hide where I stand. On a case or in blame.
"But the fact that you can't say the same is really a shame.
"You stood off the side when change had to come.
"Never said a word of truth 'til Ga'ran was almost done.
"I speak for myself in court, to the lies I retort.
"First amicable rival. Next to me, you fall short."
Nahyuta shook his head, waiting for the audience to finish reacting before starting his verse. Lucky for him, he had just the response for this.
"You claim I hide behind my faith? It only makes me stronger.
"I use Her guidance to live life, save my soul from hellish slaughter.
"I'll pray for you tonight, give you your last rites.
"And I'll do it right here. May you someday see the light.
"You say I'm not genuine. But I think you've seen the signs.
"You've lost yourself behind guitars, smiles, and cheap rhymes.
"I sacrificed myself for loved ones, not a value you would know.
"You aren't loyal to anyone, don't mention that word when you throw
"Around ignorant claims. But it's now I think I see why.
"Your cases are easily forgotten. Your parlor tricks aren't sly.
"When you do wrong in a trial, you run off with a band.
"When I repent for my sins, my brother and I reform this land."
Perhaps it was because Nahyuta was the familiar face in the battle, but the reaction to his verse was far more positive. Klavier knew he would have to pick it up if he wanted to capture his audience.
"And why would I be loyal? Dear bruder committed murder.
"Daryan shot a cop, framed a boy, and tried to kill her.
"I don't stand behind criminals. I fight for ideals.
"You turned your back on your heritage when you decided to yield.
"Don't take credit for reform. Herr Forehead led the way.
"If you had it your way, Ga'ran would rule to this day.
"You think when I entered this battle, I came here to play?
"You're guilty, love. Of false righteousness today.
"And yesterday, and before, and last spring in my home courts.
"What reason could you have, to play the tricks of a phantom
"On a young fraulein? And you're only remembered as handsome.
"No one likes you for who you are. And ja, perhaps no one knows.
"But that's your flaw as a character, with almost no growth.
"This jam ends herd. But one more riff could be fun.
"Your odds are sinking faster than your parents 'fore a gun."
"Ooh!" Ema cringed from her spot next to Datz. Sure, the fop could be irritating, but he usually knew when he went too far. Maybe he just got caught up in the moment?
That had to be it. And from what Nahyuta said next, he wasn't the only one, too.
"First you come for me. I can handle that.
"Then you mock my father. Still, I won't strike you back
"Simply because you have no one. Your brother's locked away
"Your best friend did the same. Your mentor? Passed away.
"Investigator Skye worked years for the day.
"Where she'd finally say goodbye, and yet you still say
"I'm the one who hides myself. Here, I'm surrounded by my brethren.
"You left behind your band. Now your company is barren.
"Don't take credit as a prosecutor. Someone's lies gave you fame.
"You didn't fix it yourself. It was Wright's whole MASON game.
"I can work in any courtroom, taking cases 'round the globe
"You go years without a case. I don't even take a night slow.
"I've never once stopped working since to make my country right.
"What have you been doing? How can you claim moral might?
"This battle is over. Remove yourself from sight!"
And with the end of the verse, Datz turned his microphone back on. "Who won? Who's next? You decide!"
"That was good!" Klavier declared, a stage smile on his face. "No hard feelings, ja?"
Nahyuta shook his head, his response barely heard. "None. Thank you for coming out today."
"This has to be the only charity project where people volunteer to get insulted."
A/N's: Surprised I'm updating in the middle of the week? Don't be. I've been avoiding homework for days so I can finish this fic. I'll regret it later, but I don't at the moment.
Anyway, here we got the two lower ranked (overall by the fandom. I happen to like both of them) main prosecutors facing off. I was going to write in Barok Van Zieks instead of Klavier (as per AnimeVirtuoso's request. CzarThwomp actually convinced me that Klavier would work in this instance.) but then I realized I would be including DGS and DGS2 spoilers. The latter, especially, is what I was concerned with. I've read a summary of the game, but I don't feel comfortable writing rap references to it. Unless people really want those characters to be included (like in Mia vs. Asougi, for example) I probably won't do it. I'm not saying no, I'm saying it needs to get a lot of votes for it to happen.
That said, I would love to include Mia in a battle. Any suggestions regarding who her opponent should be?
Thanks for reading (and for waiting so long on my updates), don't forget to leave your thoughts, and I'll see you on the far side!
Chapter 13: Mia vs. Asougi
WARNING: The following battle contains spoilers for BOTH DGS's. If you want to wait for a fan translation to experience either, this battle is not for you. I kept it somewhat vague (especially for the DGS2 finale), but still. If you have not experienced either game in some form, there are lines in here that will make zero sense to you. You have been warned.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It had been months since the royal regent had rapped against a foreign rock star, and still no new battles had occurred. To tell the truth, the Khura'inese had not been as interested in the activity as Americans were when they first started, and even people in America had lost interest and moved on to the next craze. The series they'd taken inspiration from wasn't even running anymore, and hadn't been for some time.
Most were okay with this development, as each country was kept busy with legal reforms. However, there were a few spirit mediums who felt the whole thing was an injustice.
"I can't believe no one wants to host another rap battle!" Maya complained, cheeks puffing out. Thanks to the bad lighting and her computer's camera quality, her expression looked vaguely menacing.
"My thoughts exactly! Just when I was introduced to a new style of music, Braid Head decided the competitions were not successful enough at raising money. He thinks people lost interest with the later battles because of their 'fad nature'. I think he's merely bitter that his opponent was voted the winner, don't you?"
"Hm..." Maya had to admit she'd voted for Prosecutor Gavin in the last round, but she didn't think Nahyuta Sahdmadhi was the type to be petty about it. He hadn't seemed all that bothered at the time. "I think he just got busy. But that's why I want to talk to you, Your Benevolence."
That caught the young princess's attention. "Huh? What do you mean?"
"If he won't authorize new battles, why don't you? You have the power to do so, right?"
Honestly? Rayfa had never considered it. She'd been busy herself, and not just with learning how to summon spirits more consistently. With every step closer she got to perfecting her power, her mother and brother gave her more political responsibility. She knew they were trying to help prepare her, but the events always put her on edge. Though she had yet to commit a severe gaff, she was terrified every time she spoke up. This was her duty, to be sure, but she longed for the days when her life was simpler. To be seen doing something other than meeting with diplomats or advisers.
And who knows? Maybe a silly, humorous event like a foreign music competition between volunteers would help.
The teenager smiled as she answered. "Of course I do! But who would we have participate?"
Maya thought about it, then laughed. "I think I know someone who would have fun with it. But I want to be the one to channel her."
"Then get on over here! I'll have everything organized in just few days." Before Maya could reply, the Skype call was terminated. She stood from her computer desk, calling out to Pearly as she did so.
She needed ask someone a question.
True to Rayfa's word, the thirteenth rap competition was ready to be held by the time Maya arrived. Detective Skye had refused to co-MC this time, but Datz was still on board, and together, they'd picked out the perfect opponent for Maya Fey's late sister.
"Are you sure you want to channel someone from so long ago once again?" Lady Amara was concerned. "Those spirits are more difficult to hold onto. You barely held through the last time you tried it."
"Which is exactly why such an arrangement is perfect! Mother," Rayfa struggled to remain mature as she argued, "this is an opportunity for me to prove my readiness to Khura'in. You know Braid Head never wanted his position, and as long as I have you, I know I'm ready to go forward."
The former queen pursed her lips in worry, but didn't argue further. "I will be watching from the audience to ensure things go well. Good luck, my dear."
The two mediums took their places on opposing sides of Tehm'pul Temple. Maya gave the princess a smile and wave before the MC/former rebel gave the opening speech.
"Whoo hoo hoo! You know who it is! MC The Dragon Dude is here, and we are back in business, baby! I know it's a been a while, but it's good to know we still have fans out there."
Scattered but enthusiastic cheers rang out in the audience. Despite mainstream Khura'inese society struggling to accept rap, pockets of youth had latched onto the style, associating it with a greater western culture they found personally fascinating.
"This battle has its roots in the past, going back decades. For each great lawyer in the Wright clan, there was an equally great mentor who left them behind all too soon. Being channeled before our eyes today are: Mia Fey.
"Versus! Kazuma Asougi! When they arrive, let the rap battle begin!"
Maya, being more familiar with the spirit she was calling (and not having to reach as far to do so) was the first to channel her participant. Mia, having been given ample time to prepare her first verse and research her opponent in the days prior, opted to go first.
"A role for me from the past. How this franchise has grown.
"They moved past me all too soon. Now they write for me a clone.
"You seek to save a college student framed by a woman for murder
"But can't risk it yourself, so you stand aside and see her
"Blame your friend for her conspiracy, politics absolve her crimes.
"You signed up for the same, then Ryu removes his blame.
"And substitutes for you as the premise of your game.
"While a mentor should be happy when a student surpasses them
"It took him a mere speech for Ryu's skills to outlast 'em.
"You don't fight for a client, you want revenge and outta Japan.
"Ironic, though. Thanks to Holmes, you never can.
"So sit back, relax, and accept the failure of your plan."
Asougi, who had materialized at some point during the first line, looked more annoyed than anything about her comments. He'd considered merely refusing to participate in this strange afterlife event, but the chance to prove himself superior to this woman was too tempting to resist.
And so he fired back:
"A clone of you? It may appear that way, true
"For the first half of the story, then I blow past you
"I survive my 'tragic' end, surprise audience and friend
"And don't rely on my sister to work as a godsend.
"So I traveled to England to avenge my wronged parent
"You left your village for the same, became a lawyer, it's apparent
"But lost to your cousin, months later lost your partner
"Then died before you could ever clear the name of your mother.
"I lost my memory but still fought to make the wrongs right.
"While you died underwhelmingly, and had to use Wright
"To complete your own tasks. Sword of Karma in his hands
"While Ryu and I stood together, and solved the mystery of two lands."
Mia listened to his assessment of her carefully, then offered a small, mysterious smile. The very same she would offer to Phoenix when he felt all hope was lost.
But the late attorney knew better. The only time a lawyer could cry was when it was all over. And if anyone was going to finish this battle, it was her. And no tormented figure from the turn of the twentieth century was going to change that.
"So you aren't just me. You claim Diego as well?
"When you rise from the dead, you fight everything you felt
"Once made life worth living, don a mask and the bench
"Once opposite to you, and then try to quench
"With that blade your taste for blood and revenge.
"I'm surprised to hear you rap. I thought your tongue would get twisted.
"With red, yellow, blue rolls, a skill for you never existed.
"You sought to fight a Death Bringer, one that almost became you
"But you couldn't strike true, and needed Ryu to do
"The digging towards the truth that haunted Van Zieks and you.
"You say living was a surprise. You tripped over a cat.
"My death was disappointing, but I went out better than that.
"I always stood by the side of my protoge and what's right
"Only stepping aside when there was a time Phoenix Wright
"Would only win without me, and end the tragic sight
"Of my family suffering from evil liars' blight.
"You think I lost to Dahlia? I defeated her twice.
"Once alive, once dead. Now take my advice.
"It'll take a third game before they can play as you.
"Oh wait... never mind. Nope. You're screwed."
The audience exploded with the end of Mia's verse. It wasn't until Mia stopped for a breath that she realized how long her verse had ended up being. As the noise died down, she became curious to see how her opponent would respond.
She wasn't disappointed.
"A defense gone prosecutor? I thought you liked guys like that.
"He did those things for you, you didn't like it, but you sat,
"On the sidelines the whole time, never tried to stop his crime
"Expose those misguided for what they were. Weren't inclined
"To do anything more than leave a cryptic hint.
"Can't fully blame those who're wrong, when you won't stop their stint
"Inside the arms of darkness, you say you saw it, and did nothing.
"While I fought to shine a light, using Karuma as my sight.
"Together, Ryunosuke and I won our respective fight.
"You claim you're above it, angel in death, but you see
"You're shortsighted as any mortal, to a loathsome degree.
"When things affect you personally, you clam up and flee.
"And not just towards your cousin. You tried to defend your aunt
"As she framed your sister. Lie, but you can't.
"You look at me like I'm just some combo clone,
"But it took you three games to be more than a hint phone.
"I don't need no short cases, my every 'pearance graces
"The screen with something new, complex, and veracious.
"I slay both sides with style, now don't you see?
"Your time in trilogy won't guarantee a top seat.
"With my honor as Asougi, I now have you beat."
For a man born over a century before the tradition of the mic drop, his was particularly dramatic. His gaze intense, hair floating in a warm breeze... Mia turned to the MC just to get out of eye contact.
It was then that Datz remembered his cue. In his defense, it had been a while. "Who won? Who's next? You decide!"
And with those words, Mia decided it was time to leave her sister's body. Her opponent did the same with Rayfa soon after, who looked extremely pleased with her channeling success.
There would be another battle, that much was certain. But Maya thought they needed one more before the ultimate smackdown could begin.
A/N's: Well, that was fun. I had to use the Wiki for details about DGS2 because while I knew what happened, I've yet to experience the gameplay itself. I hope that didn't cause this battle to suffer all too much. What do you all think?
I stopped doing these for a while because I didn't enjoy my own writing, and thought it was kinda dumb. But one comment on AO3 helped me remember how much fun I'd had with it, and for me, that's enough to write more. Who cares about quality (beyond a certain extent) when this whole series started as an excuse to have fun? Even if final exams are tomorrow and I seriously need to study after this, I've decided I'm not going to regret making this.
Obviously the last battle is Phoenix vs. Edgeworth (and trust that I will go all out on this one. Let's just say there will be more than two verses each for this one and this one only), but who should be before that? I am gonna make it a hard rule that no character can do more than one battle, simply because I think that makes it more interesting and the cast is large enough to bear it. I'm open to anyone, so nominate your choices below. The people who voted for Mia vs. Asougi are: Anyarein and (honestly) myself. I tried to do Mia vs. Lana, but Lana didn't have as much material, and that made it difficult to really get into the battle. Mia and Asougi were more evenly matched.
Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave your thoughts below, and I'll see you on the far side!
Chapter 14: Phoenix vs. Edgeworth (Part 1)
A/N's: I couldn't think of a good pair for the penultimate rap battle in this series, but had lots of ideas for what to do with the last battle... so many, that there was no way it would all fit into one chapter. So I'm taking the Hitler vs. Vader approach and writing more than one between the same pair. But I'm doing it a bit different. You'll see what I mean in a sec.
Without further ado... read and enjoy as the classic defense/prosecutor pair of besties go at each other in the rap contest of the ages!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Athena was logged into the WAA computer, watching the most recent rap battle to come out of Khura'in for the twentieth time. She hadn't known much about her boss's dead mentor before, but after seeing it the first time, she'd been fascinated. And curious. Who was this spirit she'd faced? When was the next rap battle going to come out?
She checked the posting date of the video. It had been almost three months since it was first uploaded. What was going on over there? She knew Khura'in was busy with internal affairs, but ever since the reception over there had gone lukewarm, updates on the project had been few and far between. not even the enthusiasm of Maya and Princess Rayfa had been enough to change that. She was beginning to wonder if they'd ever get the fifteen battles that had been agreed upon previously.
"What'cha looking at, Athena?" Trucy interrupted her browsing session, looking over the lawyer's shoulder. "Oh, I loved this one! Not as much as the one with Polly, but it was still really good."
"I just wish there were more on the way. I had a lot of fun, but it kinda sucks that I went first. I wish I could do another one."
"Oh, did Daddy not tell you?" Trucy covered her mouth in surprise. "He and Mr. Edgeworth were signed up for the final battle ever since these contests began. I found out when I tried to sign Pearl and I up for a slot."
Pearl rapping? That, she couldn't see. "But I thought there were going to be fifteen battles! Even if you include the one from the prison, we've only had thirteen so far. Shouldn't there be one more before them?"
"Well, there was going to be, but then Daddy had this really awesome idea for a double feature! You see, a few years ago, Daddy was the overseer of a legal experiment called the Jurist System. It got thrown out for ethical concerns, I think, but while he was getting ready for it, he built this great interactive system for the jurors to look at evidence. He called it... the MASON System," she announced with a flourish, like that was supposed to mean anything to Athena.
It didn't. "Okay... what does that have to do with the last two rap battles?"
"Well, to help the jurors understand the circumstances behind how each piece of evidence was gathered in a way that followed a certain path of logic, he made it look like they were traveling between two different time periods: the investigation conducted several years ago and the one in recent months- er, recent at the time. Since Daddy and Mr. Edgeworth have been through so much in their time in the legal system and have changed so much, they wanted to put together a rap video where they battle each other at different stages of their lifetime."
"That's so cool!" Athena wished her battle had been that cool. But she hadn't had the level of experience required to pull it off, not to mention she'd barely known her opponent. Now that she'd learned even more about Franziska Von Karma, she was a huge fan of hers. "But wait: are they actually going back in time, or are they just reenacting what they were like at different times of their career? And what does MASON even stand for"
Trucy shrugged. "I have no idea how anything in the MASON System works. I just think it's cool."
More like convenient for its purposes, but hey. Whatever this series needed to have a cool battle happen, it usually got. The amount of sense it made didn't seem to matter.
Leaning over the keyboard, Trucy logged into one of her father's accounts, a mischievous glint to her eyes. "Wanna see what they've finished producing so far? I think they're about halfway done."
Curiosity got the better of her. For all that Athena thought about it, she couldn't imagine Phoenix or Edgeworth being good at the rap game. "Sure."
The two girls waited in silence as the video buffered, giggling slightly at the hammy title.
Rapping Through Their Ages feat. Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth
Part 1: Feenie vs. Bratworth
The title faded before Athena could ask about the names. When the curtain rose on the courtroom, that was replaced with more questions. Namely, the nature of their outfits. Her boss stood behind the defense bench in a pink sweater and red scarf, surgical mask over his face. On the other side stood Miles Edgeworth in a suit that looked like he'd borrowed from his mentor and got it dyed. Both were missing some of the wrinkles they'd accrued over the years. Was it really time travel, or just well done make-up?
The contradiction was not in any way resolved by the appearance of the usual American hosts. They took over the judge's bench, looking straight into the camera. "Ladies and Gents, we've finally done it. We have reached the last rap battle in the series, and hoo boy does it promise to be a doozy!"
Wocky followed up where his partner left off. "You G's best prepare! No matter what year this is, these two are always ready to throw it down in the courthouse! Be it a case or a rap, these two got it made with their natural rivalry. So today, get ready to party like it's the early 2010's. Cause we got for you the young versions of Miles Edgeworth!"
"Versus! Phoenix Wright! Let the rap battle begin!"
The young incarnation of Edgeworth went first, eyeing the mic in his hand with a pointed stare of disdain.
"This may not be the battle of wits I've trained my life for, but
"Ending this love-struck idiot will be but a boring chore.
"At twenty, I prosecute, bring down criminals in this hall.
"In this hall you chomp on glass, cough, and watch yourself fall.
"You're a trusting sort of dumb, fall for her big eyes.
"No lie, I seek to win. I won't fall for a disguise.
"The guilty must pay, I didn't come here to play.
"I came to rid this city's scum, so no more Darke can slay.
"Not even the strangest of cases can stand before my eyes.
"If I had you found guilty, there would be no surprise.
"I've yet to lose a case, I won't fall before a lawyer.
"Not even your bimbo of a future employer."
"Feenie" gave a cough at the end of Edgeworth's verse with great sense of dramatic timing. He spent a second adjusting the mask on his face, then got ready to fire back.
"You're full of yourself! Mia Fey nearly beat you.
"If your suspect hadn't died, she would've totally defeated you.
"And before even that, in your first investigation,
"You let a murderer go free, and she fled across the nation.
"You think you're like your mentor, like a God of all that.
"Winston Payne thought that too. Now his hair is all flat.
"Don't blame me for my love, you didn't see through Dollie, either!
"Or you did, but didn't care, now two men are in the ether.
"Working yourself to the ground will drive you insane.
"Petty victory can't drive away your true pain.
"I see the truth now. I'm set to expose yours.
"Pretty soon, I'll be a lawyer. Then you'll never get bored.
Before the hosts could say anything or a second round could be had, the surroundings faded to black, and the text from earlier ran across the screen. It said:
And so it came to pass. Though these two men never actually met each other at this stage of their lives, they did once Phoenix Wright became a lawyer, and Miles Edgeworth had garnered some renown as "The Demon Prosecutor" with a reputation that followed him wherever he went. And so these two clash once again in...
Part 2: Trilogy!Phoenix vs. Trilogy!Edgeworth
Trilogy? What trilogy? Was it a name the media had given this stage of the pair's careers? Still, when the black faded once more, Mr. Wright was in a blue suit, albeit not one as fancy as his current one. Across the way, Mr. Edgeworth had traded Manfred Von Karma's hand me downs out for a suit more fitting for his individual style, though a haunted look still remained on his face.
As before, the hosts were still standing at the judge's bench. But they didn't say anything, only gestured to the two ace attorneys.
"In this match you'll see the great revival of me.
"Cast my demons aside, now be prepared to be
"Beaten in a moral, truthful, rightful way, you see
"I've come back wiser than you, I return out of the blue
"After being beaten down, I see only what is true.
"Thanks to me, you hated your opponents in this hall.
"Thought yourself above scrutiny, which forced you to fall
"For an actor's lies and schemes, gave you your bad dreams
"'Til my sister and I proved to be more than what we seemed.
"Then when you committed idiocy of running into flames
"I covered for you as fan favorite, earning me my own two games.
"I stand my bench alone, you rely on dead bosses.
"When this battle is over, we can add it to your losses.
"I could do your job whenever. You could never handle mine.
"And when it comes to this battle? You might as well resign.
"Wright, your time is done. It's mine now to shine!"
Phoenix shook his head at Edgeworth's taunts, smacking a piece of paper with his hands. It was clear before Edgeworth's was over that he already had a rebuttal in mind. One he wasted no time getting to.
"And who brought about your revival to begin with?
"If it wasn't for me, you'd be stuck living a myth.
"Stupid or not, I believed in you when no one else would.
"I proved you didn't kill your father. Or even could.
"And how is it you thank me? You pretend to choose death.
"After everything I did, you can't even use a breath
"To acknowledge my role in how I helped you be your best.
"So I was forced to take a guilty client once.
"You lost every other time. Don't be a dunce.
"So what if Chief helps me? The courts are biased towards you.
"Guilty 'til proven innocent, then I have to do
"A prosecutor's job to bring the true killer to light.
"You think I couldn't be you? Don't even start on that fight.
"I'm the classic Ace Attorney. I'm the true Phoenix Wright!
"Don't brag about spinoffs. This trilogy is mine.
"I'll beat you in this battle at any given time!"
Once again, the lights faded, but this time, there was nothing after it. The hosts didn't even make their ending announcement. "Where's the rest of it?"
"Not fit for viewing yet. And neither is that."
Trucy and Athena both jumped when they heard Mr. Wright's voice behind them. "I could have sworn I changed the password on that thing. How did you two get in?"
"Trucy knew it. it was her idea," Athena explained, not wanted to get in trouble with her boss. "I'm sorry, Mr. Wright. We were just curious."
He tilted his head down, eyes closed. "I wasn't going to show you two until Edgeworth and I were finished with it. It's much more enjoyable once you have the whole battle." Without waiting for the girls to respond, Mr. Wright turned towards the fourth wall and winked. "You'll see."
To be continued...
A/N's: As always, I apologize for making you wait so long. And as always, I hope my offering in terms of an update makes it worth it.
I've spent years thinking of how to make a Phoenix vs. Edgeworth rap battle, and the hardest part for me was always deciding what time period to set it in. These two have been through so much as this series goes on, and evolved so significantly as characters as a result. It didn't feel right to only include their time in the trilogy, or to ignore their role in AJ and the AAIs. Nor did I only want to see them as the boss/mentor figures they are now.
So I decided to write the battle this way. The true Turnabout Time Traveler. The battle is split in four parts: pre-trilogy, trilogy, AJ/AAIs, and current (DD/SoJ) era. First two are here, second two are the next chapter.
Thanks for sticking with me through the series, hope you've enjoyed, and I'll see you in the finale!
Chapter 15: Phoenix vs. Edgeworth (Part 2)
Two months after Trucy and Athena had stumbled on the first half of the finale rap video, Phoenix was finally ready to show them the whole thing. Trucy had made her father promise he would let them view the whole thing in advance (and send a copy off to Apollo in Khura'in) before the video went up online. They'd invited Maya, Edgeworth, and Pearl as well, turning a day in the office into a mini watch party. Everyone there knew the finished product was gonna be a huge hit.
"Assuming your transition effects aren't as stupid as they were last time." Athena teased. Edgeworth shook his head, then adjusted his glasses.
"I hardly think my presence here is necessary. I agreed to participate, but do not need to be reminded my role here."
"Mr. Edgeworth! Don't be like that. You had bars, from what we saw!"
He nodded a curt acknowledgement. Marlon Rimes had explained key rap terminology to him during the making of their video. "Thank you. This battle is the only one that was allowed to be scripted beforehand. Wright and I were careful to ensure that neither of us went too far with our verbal attacks."
"Oh, no one cares!" Maya interrupted before Edgeworth could say more. "We're all here for the battle!"
Phoenix laughed. "Calm down. I'm pulling it up now." He turned to Trucy. "Do you want to see the whole thing, or just the part you haven't seen yet?"
"All of it!" Athena and Pearl chimed in at once. Then Athena continued. "Pearl and Maya haven't seen it yet."
"Oh, that's right." Phoenix smiled, then pressed play. Everyone went silent.
This time, the title was in a fancy font, white text on a fully black background. The title, however, had not changed a bit.
Rapping Through Their Ages feat. Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth
Part 1: Feenie vs. Bratworth
"Someone's going to have to explain that to me later," Athena mumbled under her breath, only to be shushed. A gradual fade transitioned the title slide into the first courtroom battle. Like before, it was impossible to tell if they were faking or actually had gone back in time. Athena was inclined to believe the latter, but really, would she ever know?
Listening to the first two exchanges a second time, Athena was better able to appreciate the nuance that went into each verse. Both parties had worked hard, and it showed. The second one especially had a good flow (on both sides! She could tell it had been filmed later on) and got her excited for what was coming next. All three teenage girls could hardly contain a squeal when the third part appeared on the screen.
After three years of these two forging a legendary courtroom relationship, Miles Edgeworth's career continued to rise, if turbulently, as he took on a string of internationally entwined cases, in which he exposed the Allabahstian ambassador for his black market operations and even the president of Zheng Fa as a fake. With the help of equally talented individuals, it seemed there was no case the reformed Miles Edgeworth couldn't solve, no individual with the power to escape him. His career appeared destined for prolific status as he rode the prosecutor's path to the top.
It was a shame when Phoenix Wright couldn't say the same thing. As his rival rose in status, his declined after allegations of forged evidence destroyed his defense of Shadi Engimar. The Bar Association review following the case ended up costing him his badge with only one dissenting vote. For the next seven years, the disgraced ex-lawyer devoted himself to two things: eking out a modest living to support his daughter... and clearing his name. Through his leadership of the Jurist Test Trial and mentorship of Apollo Justice, he was finally able to rise from the ashes. But even that move was not without controversy. This dark period in his life, and the contrasting era in Edgeworth's, is documented below in...
Part 3: Hobo!Phoenix vs. Investigations!Edgeworth
The summary had to be split into three, long as it was. Reading it only intrigued Athena as to what this part of the battle would entail. For all she knew about her boss and the chief prosecutor, this was the era she (and most people) were least familiar with.
Lucky for her, she didn't have to wonder for long. Since he had before, the redhead expected Edgeworth to go first. He looked the same as he had in the previous video. It was Phoenix who had changed. He was in... sweatpants? And a beanie? She didn't have time to as questions before Edgeworth's rap started.
"Let me start this verse with a quick apology.
"You didn't deserve to fall. But Wright, I plea
"You don't listen to Gant. You don't do 'whatever's needed'.
"Gavin wasn't worth your soul. You shouldn't have needed
"To endanger others in your schemes. Abuse Justice, it seems
"All so you could return to the career of your dreams.
"You suffered, it's true. But did you really need to
"Put Apollo in the same situation as you?
"Your reforms were needed. But they were selfish, I see
"If you wanted justice for all, now, you would have come to me.
"You got away with things, though. Mostly because
"Everyone prefers you as the person you once was.
"You edgy little spinoff's a black mark on the list.
"If retcons were acceptable here, your era wouldn't exist.
"That's one reason the Jurist System won't be permanent.
"I walked the true Prosecutor's Path. I didn't swerve on it.
"Through my logic and my chess, I emerge as the best.
"Allow me to Deduce how to put this match to rest.
"I stopped fake rulers, fake rulings, and a smuggling ring.
"All while you were fixed on a seven year old thing.
"This was your worst era, but my best. Full stop.
"I faced the Mastermind of the Game, and I came out on top!"
Phoenix turned his head down while Edgeworth remained resolute. This version of her boss was unlike anything Athena knew or had experienced from him before. Had his disbarment period really been as dark as everyone claimed?
She resolved to ask him about it later. For now, she wanted to see how "Hobo!Phoenix" responded.
"Don't lecture me for using unconventional means.
"You weasle onto every investigation, no matter what it means
"For your professional career. But now, it appears
"I'm the only one who cares about my badge around here.
"You know what it means to tackle criminals 'above the law'.
"Don't look down on me. Your games had the same flaw.
"'Least mine will be remembered. Your first game was a haze.
"The story could have been good. Then it went down in Ablaze.
"You had an interesting sequel. Too bad no one played it.
"Everyone finished mine... then decided they hated it.
"They weren't ready for the messages I had to for them to tell.
"This series shouldn't avoid moral grey. But that doesn't sell.
"I developed hardcore. You were the same ol' bore.
"Oh, and half of your cast? Where have I seen them before?
"I tried to forge a new path. You just followed after me.
"Forgive me if to your speeches I'm feeling apathy.
"You got strung around your 'good' game by a single mastermind.
"The only reason you won is because he wanted you to find
"His torturers guilty. So he got his hands filthy.
"Then you only got him on one charge? That's just silly.
"My cards are played. Your arguments are slayed.
I've a daughter to get home to. You needn't have stayed."
Before anyone else could move, the screen went black another time. They were entering the grand finale now. This time, Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth would face themselves as they were today. After everything they'd been through together, Athena could only wonder how the battle would conclude.
After the Jurist test trial cleared Phoenix Wright's name, he regained his badge to become an attorney again and resume his role as the boss of his own law office. This time, however, he serves as the senior lawyer to newbies Apollo Justice and Athena Cykes. Soon after, Miles Edgeworth officially accepted the title of Chief Prosecutor, becoming the boss of the office in which he'd worked so long.
Despite the maturation each man had gone through over the years, their friendship and rivalry is vibrant as always whenever they reunite. As they reflect on the new and reminisce on the old, Phoenix and Edgeworth rap against each other one last time in...
Part 4: Boss!Phoenix and Chief!Edgeworth
"Last go!" Wocky yelled, breaking the hosts' habit of not speaking after the first part. This time, Phoenix and Edgeworth were dressed exactly as they were today, expressions as determined as they ever were when the two faced other.
The blue and the red. The two sides of the same coin. The two who were constantly losing and finding each other again. No matter how many times their paths diverged, the attorney and prosecutor were magnetized like two ends of a pole. Opposites belonging together.
Athena hadn't been sure at first, but now she agreed. These two definitely deserved the double feature they'd received. So long as their closing raps lived up to it.
Edgeworth, at least, was here for it.
"It's fitting that in court our battle here will end.
"But even once you lose, don't start this game again.
"No matter where we stand on the timeline,
"You can try and bust forward, but I hold down the line
"I'm your truest rival, play protagonist too.
"In your supposed own series, I'm in more games than you.
"Now I'm the true Chief. I won't let you sleep.
"You set the scene for dark age ending, while I dive in deep.
"It's my job to make 'your' games work behind the scenes.
"All while you steal half the spotlight from your 'prodigies'.
"I can pass the baton whenever I desire. My subordinates are fine.
"Why do you hold on so tight? Can the series not be defined
"By any Ace Attorney who isn't just you?
"I cleaned the Prosecutor's office, now I can really trust my crew.
"Still think you've got a few rhymes left at bay?
"Let me hop in my jet, and fly you away."
This battle was by far the most good-natured of all the parts. Their easy friendship was able to show through in this one, a friendship that (Athena guessed) the two of them hadn't exactly possessed at earlier stages of their lives. Her boss's laugh only confirmed that suspicion of hers.
"Are you sure you want to end here? I'm still winning cases.
"My roles still have content. Your cameos are thinning. Face it.
"First you show up in the finale. We have a good old fashioned fight.
"Then your shoved to DLC where you can't get romance right.
"Thanks for saving me some airfare, but you're useless after that.
"You're outsourcing of prosecutors temporarily resolves a spat
"Of prosecutor shortages. Why can't you develop your newbies like I am?
"Why not bring your mentee forward? Are the new games not Investi-fans?
"Are your claims to fame ignored in new games?
"Even with the same writer, you're all sparks and no flames.
"I'm still trying new things in this final stage.
"You're a deflating old timer. Check your pressure gauge.
"For the forseeable future, I'm sharing space on the page
"With my students. I'll pass the mantle when fans engage.
"Until then I have you beat in court and design sense.
"This series both started and will end with the defense!"
Channeling aspects of Franziska Von Karma, Phoenix Wright was daring enough to give a bow at the end of the battle. Edgeworth still had his arms crossed, but there was a smile on his face. However this ended, at lease both could say they had enjoyed themselves.
"Who won? That's all! You decide!"
The video faded, but the question didn't. It was a question that could only be resolved with one answer: