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Messages waiting. Accept? Y / N

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From: Leia Organa-Solo
Re: Messages

We’ve found a safe way to send you text-only transmissions to impart important information. I hope you and my brother are doing well. We miss you, Rey.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Feral children

I was trying to help out this kid and she bit me on the arm. I mean, she didn’t know me from the enemy but still. And Testor laughed at me, so she’s cleaning Black One with a toothbrush. Miss you.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Poe

He screamed like a little girl; of course I laughed. He’s the galaxy’s biggest drama queen.

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From: BB-8
Re: Friend-Rey

My antenna is broken. Please fix when friend-Rey returns from mission: find Luke Skywalker.

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From: Temmin Wexley
Re: Ach-To

Can you ask Luke Skywalker how to pronounce Ach-To? Poe bet me fifty credits on how to say it. I think it’s Ack-Two.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Betting

I don’t know what anyone has told you, but I don’t go around making bets with my squadron. But it’s Ahch-Toe, right? Asking for a friend. Miss you!

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Betting

I’ve got money on Ack-Toe.

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From: Karé Kun
Re: Betting

I’ve got money on Ahch-Two. Pot’s up to 500 credits, kid; don’t let me down.

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From: Temmin Wexley
Re: Betting

Leia found out. We’re all in disgrace. It’s Poe’s fault.

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From: C-3PO, human-cyborg relations
Re: Master Luke

I do hope you’ve found him well. Please convey my desire to see him safely returned.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Finn

I’ve been keeping an eye on him. Kalonia says his heart is getting a bit stronger. We’re going to try and get some bacta for him, see if we can’t speed up his recovery. I miss you, Rey. I’m keeping a list of things I want to show you when you get back. Be safe.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Pranks

I think I’m going to put some oil in Poe’s shoes. What do you think?

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Testor

If she’s not around when you get back, you know why.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Pranks

It was totally worth it.

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From: C-3PO, human-cyborg relations
Re: R2-D2

I do hope he is behaving himself. Please convey my wishes for his safety.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: BB-8

He misses you like crazy. I’ve adjusted his antenna at least 15 times and he’s still insisting it’s broken and only “friend-Rey” can fix it. Talk about being dramatic. I’d be annoyed at you but a. I’m not a jealous man and b. I like you as much as BB does.

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From: Leia Organa-Solo
Re: Hello, Rey

You are missed, dear Rey, as I have had to redefine “important information” several times. It doesn’t seem to have worked. I hope all is going well with you and my brother. We’ve moved to our new base and I’ve send the coordinates with this communication. Please don’t feel as if I am rushing you to come home.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Room

I’ve claimed you as my roomie and made sure we got a corner room. You’re a hero, after all. The longer you take to come back, the longer I’ve got the room to myself so no rush.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Room

I was kidding, you know. The room is lonely without you.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Finn

I got the General to authorize a raid on a bacta facility. We didn’t pick up enough for a full submersion but Kalonia slathered up his back. That is as gross as it sounds, by the way. The wound is looking better already. He may be up and ready to greet you by the time you get back. We miss you.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Bacta

Did you know bacta makes a squelchy sound? Too bad I can’t put any in Poe’s shoes, but bacta is way too precious. Maybe one of the cooks or Goss can cook something up.

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From: C-3PO, human-cyborg relations
Re: Master Chewbacca

I do hope he’s doing well. Please convey my wishes for a safe return.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Bacta-stuff

We managed to come up with something that feels a lot like bacta (and tastes pretty good, too). I’m filling up Poe’s shoes and his helmet.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Shoes

I am surrounded by infants. They will all die horrible deaths.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Helmet

Death is too good for them. The darkest of tortures known to man will be inflicted upon them. No one will escape. They got kriffing shit all over my hair, Rey.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Poe’s hair

I have never met a man who was so concerned over his hair. He’s worse than a girl.

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From: Karé Kun
Re: Poe’s hair

He’s always been like this with his hair. I’ve been tempted to shave it off, more than once.

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From: BB-8
Re: Friend-Rey

Master-Poe’s hair has been injured. Please advise, friend-Rey.

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From: Temmin Wexley
Re: Poe’s hair

Leia found out about dumping the bacta-stuff on Poe’s head. Everyone is in disgrace. It’s Testor’s fault.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Hair

I might cut it. That would serve them right.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Poe’s hair

There goes drama queen Poe again. Karé and I made some new propaganda posters featuring Poe and his hair. Poe hot Dameron.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Posters

When they least expect it, that’s when I’ll strike.

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From: Karé Kun
Re: Posters

Leia says we can use the posters but not Testor’s slogan. We’ll try and send you one.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Posters

I think “Poe Hot Dameron wants YOU to join the Resistance” would’ve kicked recruitment to a whole new level, personally.

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From: Karé Kun
Re: Posters

We always said Poe’s face on posters would triple recruitment; so far, so good. We changed his name in the system, just to give you a heads up.

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From: Poe Hot Dameron
Re: Help

I need someone on my side here, Rey. They keep ganging up on me. I think I’ll make Jess and Karé train the new recruits; it’ll serve them right. And I’m turning Jess over to Leia.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: 1-4

I will not play pranks on anyone, especially Poe Dameron. I will not play pranks on anyone, especially Poe Dameron. I will not play pranks on anyone, especially Poe Dameron. I will not play pranks on anyone, especially Poe Dameron.

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From: Jessika Pava
Re: Sorry

Leia made me write that sentence 50 times and I accidentally sent you some of it. In other news, I scared one of the new recruits so much he threw up on C3PO, who still hasn’t shut up about it. He’s lucky he didn’t throw up on me or he’d have been on latrine duty.

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From: Poe Dameron
Re: Finn

He’s woken up. Come home.

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End of messages.