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This Confession Note Wasn't Meant for You

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           Taehyung realized depressingly the next morning that it was the first day since his fail confession that Jimin didn’t text him.  There was no good morning text when he woke up from his restless three hour sleep.   He knew this would happen but he wasn’t prepared to feel this way.  It felt like there was a giant sitting in his chest, dragging him down.  All he wanted to do was stay in bed and slap himself silly for being stupid. 

           The worst part was he wasn’t sure if he regretted entirely what he did.  Of course Taehyung felt overwhelming guilt. Each time he remembered the look on Jimin’s face last night, he wanted to cry.  He never meant to lead Jimin on this long; it was never his intention to lead Jimin anywhere to be honest.  But...Jimin grew on him. 

           He wouldn’t admit it but Taehyung actually looked forward to talking to Jimin and receiving texts from him.  He enjoyed making the other laugh and maybe he somewhat liked when Jimin tried to hold his hand every once in a while, especially when he was having a bad day.  How could he regret what he did when he wound up getting a great friend? 

            Taehyung was still in bed staring at his ceiling as evening came.  Reluctantly he decided to get out of bed.  He needed something to distract him from all the thoughts in his head.  Ironically his feet led him to the dance studio.  When he walked into the studio he wasn’t surprised to see Hoseok dancing in front of the mirror; Yoongi was beside him making weird faces with a pretend microphone in his hands.

            Yoongi’s eyes met his in the mirror and he muttered an “Oh shit.”

            Taehyung looked curiously at Yoongi for a moment before Hoseok suddenly turned around and sprinted towards him.  Before he knew what was happening Taehyung was grabbed by the collar and pushed against the door.

            “You little brat!”

            “You told him?” Taehyung yelled at Yoongi, “You swore on your grave!”

            “Technically if I swear on my grave that means I’d be dead already.  And I really don’t care about keeping promises when I’m dead.”

           “I told you about Jimin,” Hoseok exclaimed, “I told you he liked you.  Why did you---“  

            “I know,” Taehyung began miserably, “I fucked up.”

            “What exactly happened?  I thought you guys were great together.  It’s been a lie this whole time?”

            Taehyung explained the whole story to Hoseok, who was surprisingly understanding by the end of it. 

            “You’re actually in love with Jungkook,” Hoseok stated.

            “Yeah,” Taehyung sounded uncertain.  Even he wasn’t sure anymore.  He hadn’t seen the younger in so long and at this moment he couldn’t care less.    

            “How can you fail so bad in life?” Hoseok put a hand to his head, “You put the confession letter in the wrong locker.”  He shook his head, “Jimin’s locker is literally five lockers down from Jungkook’s. 

            “Well I was nervous!  I thought I had the right----“

            “Did you even think about how Jimin would feel when he found out?  Were you planning on keeping it a secret from him forever?”

            “No!” Taehyung ran his hands angrily through his hair, “Maybe? I don’t know.  I didn’t know how to tell him!  I tried but you know how I am.  I’m not good at these kinds of things,” Taehyung slumped miserably to the ground, “And now I really don’t know what to do.  How do I make it up to----“ 

            The door swung open and Jimin walked in.  He paused as three pairs of eyes met his.

            “Hey Jimin,” Yoongi waved at the younger while Taehyung and Hoseok glanced at each other. 

            “Hey guys,” Jimin waved at them and smiled.  Taehyung felt himself light up in relief as he returned the smile.  He got up when he saw Jimin head into the bathroom. 

            “That’s not a good idea,” Yoongi muttered behind him.   

            Taehyung chose to ignore the other and entered the bathroom.  Jimin didn’t turn around when the door closed.  He didn’t greet him; Taehyung might as well be invisible.  Unsure of what to say, Taehyung stood by the door.

            “I…I’m sorry,” Taehyung managed to say.  It wound up sounding more like a shout as the words fought to leave his mouth without Taehyung’s brain functioning correctly.       There was silence.  Taehyung opened his mouth, attempting to utter more words but stopped when Jimin turned around.   

            “No.  I’m sorry.  I should’ve noticed; it was kind of obvious.”

            Was it?  Thinking back, even Taehyung knew he blurred the lines.  At first maybe it was obvious.  He refused to accept any of Jimin’s affections and ignored the other as much as he could.  But somehow Jimin grew on him, taking root somewhere in Taehyung and spreading like wildfire.  Hadn’t Taehyung accepted all of Jimin’s handholds recently? He didn’t argue when Jimin walked him to class even though he knew the older would be late for his own.  He waited for Jimin’s morning and good night texts.  He let Jimin drive him around and treat him to dinner.  He was the one who initiated movie cuddles.  It was anything but obvious at this point. 

            Taehyung realized with a start how selfish he’d been.  He knew from the start that Jimin liked him.  Deep down inside Taehyung knew friends didn’t do what they did but he let it persist because he was greedy.  He was selfish for Jimin’s affections.  He took advantage the other’s emotions towards him.  He knew Jimin thought they were dating and yet he never said anything.  He let Jimin continue thinking that.  What kind of person was he?  He didn’t even deserve to be friends with Jimin.  Why wasn’t Jimin yelling at him or shouting at him?  Why was he the one apologizing?     

            “Hey don’t beat yourself over this.  I know it’s killing you inside,” Jimin put a comforting hand on his shoulder.  Taehyung looked up at Jimin and wanted to punch the other because why was he being understanding?  Why was he being so nice when it was Taehyung who used him?

            Taehyung looked at Jimin as he walked towards the door, “Aren’t you supposed to hate me?  Shout at me?  Why aren’t you angry?  I deserve it.  I was a douche.  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t even know.  I was so stupid.  I…I’m so sorry.”

            Jimin opened the door and Taehyung was sure he would walk out without answering.

            Taehyung lunged forward and grabbed on to Jimin’s wrist, “Please just hit me.  Here,” Taehyung turned around and stuck his butt out at Jimin, “Just kick my butt! Really! I deserve it!”

            Jimin was silent and Taehyung turned around desperately.  His voice was coming out fast, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to say all he wanted to say.

            “Slap me!  Hit me,” Taehyung grabbed Jimin’s hand and put it to his cheek, “Please just be angry at me.” 

            Jimin’s eyes softened slightly.  His hand was still resting softly on Taehyung’s cheek. 

            “I’m a jerk.  I know I should’ve told you.  I was so selfish,” Taehyung’s voice was cracking because Jimin looked so broken right now.  He was the one that did that to him, “You can be angry at me, Jimin.  But please…please don’t leave me.” 

            Jimin looked at him confusedly for a moment before he dropped his hand from Taehyung’s cheek. 

“I can never hate you, Taehyung.  God, I must’ve made you uncomfortable so many times,” Jimin closed his eyes as if remembering those awkward times, “I’m the one who should be sorry.”  His words were soft; he turned around and walked out the door.  Taehyung never realized how much he could hate himself until that moment.

            “I’ll make it up to you,” Taehyung followed Jimin outside.

            “There’s nothing to fix Taehyung,” Jimin said simply.  He turned around to fully face Taehyung and there was a small smile on his face, “We’re okay.”  

 

            But they weren’t. 

           Jimin didn’t act differently after the locker room conversation.  He still made stupid jokes and laughed at Taehyung’s weird antics.  Taehyung was somewhat relieved by this, thinking that maybe they could move past Taehyung’s mistake.  But then he started noticing small things.  He noticed how Jimin didn’t look him in the eyes anymore. Jimin’s adoring stares were gone as well as the light touches that Taehyung never really noticed in the past.

          The weekend passed with no texts from Jimin.  Jimin might have said they were okay but it was getting obvious to Taehyung that things were anything but.  It started with the texts.  Taehyung was so used to Jimin’s good morning and good night texts that when they stopped, he found himself sleeping uneasily and waking up cranky. 

          And now it was Monday.  The last time he saw Jimin was on Saturday.  He didn’t know what to expect.  Would Jimin be waiting by his locker when he turned the corner?  He walked on unsteady feet through the hallway.  Kids were running frantically around him.  The morning bell was about to ring but Taehyung was gradually slowing down, dragging his feet across the floor.  When he round the corner, Jimin would either be waiting there for him or he wouldn’t be. 

          Taehyung imagined Jimin in his head, willing the other to be there, but when he turned the corner, there was no boy leaning against his locker with a smirk on his face or a bright smile to greet him. 

            Taehyung slowly got to his locker and opened it.  He grabbed the books he needed and threw the ones he didn’t into it.  When he closed his locker he stood there for a minute, not knowing what to do.  Was it possible that Jimin was late?  How about if he left and Jimin came by later?

            It was a stupid thought because the only time Jimin wasn’t there to greet him was when the boy was sick or working on something for dance club and even then Jimin texted him to let him know.

            Taehyung eyed his phone.  He must’ve typed a thousand messages before he sent a simple Where are you? He leaned against his locker hoping for Jimin to come or for some kind of message.  The late bell rang and Taehyung stood where he was.  He looked back at his phone and then down the empty hallway.  Jimin wouldn’t be coming.  He quickly sent another message, swallowing the lump in his throat as he dragged his feet to first period.

            Are we okay?

 

            “Where’s Jimin?” Namjoon asked quietly as Taehyung took a seat beside him at lunch. The table was unusually quiet as they waited for Taehyung to answer.

            “I don’t know.  He didn’t wait for me today.”  This morning hadn’t been a fluke.  Jimin didn’t visit his locker in between classes and he didn’t wait outside of Taehyung’s last class so they could walk to lunch together.  Taehyung didn’t know if he wanted to cry or scream because why did he feel so lost without Jimin?  He looked down at his phone again; still no new messages.    

            “Hey guys,” Jimin walked over to them and plopped into the seat beside Taehyung.  Taehyung looked up at him with an unsure smile and Jimin looked startled for a second before returning the smile. 

            “Hey we were just wondering where you were.  Movie night at my house Friday?” Seokjin leaned over to take an apple from Jimin’s plate.  Jimin glared at the other, “Uh I think I have plans that day.  I’ll let you know.  Actually I need to talk to a few people; I’ll catch you guys later?” Jimin got up from his seat.  Taehyung felt his hand unconsciously leave his side to grab onto Jimin but it dropped when the other didn’t turn to look at him.  He saw Jimin move across the lunch room and sit next to some other members of the dance club: Jackson Mark and Yugyeom. 

           

            Three weeks passed.  Weeks of Jimin slowly disappearing from Taehyung’s life.  The thing that hurt the most was Jimin only ignored him; Jimin still talked with the others in the group.  Only his messages and calls went unanswered.  By the second week, Taehyung stopped trying.   

            Taehyung wanted to hate him but how could he?  He deserved this.  He missed Jimin so much to the point where even he didn’t understand it.  He found himself going out of his way and making the most absurd routes around school just to pass by Jimin’s locker hoping to get a glimpse of his light orange hair.  He would hover around the send button on his phone each time he made a well-constructed text (Hey. What’s up?) but he never sent any of them. 

            “You’re not eating again,” Seokjin complained.  He felt the older kick him in the leg but he hardly flinched. 

            “I’m not hungry.” His eyes drew immediately across the cafeteria where Jimin was laughing at something Jr. said.  What kind of stupid name was Jr. anyway? What was wrong with his real name Jinyoung? What gave him the right to make Jimin laugh? Nothing could be that funny.  Jimin was practically in tears, slumping over Bam Bam to support himself as Jr. continued his story. 

            “You’re staring again,” Hoseok said. 

            “I haven’t seen him in weeks. Forgive me,” Taehyung said dramatically as he threw his fork onto his plate.  It bounced off of the plate and onto the floor. 

            “Do you know if he’s coming to movie night today?” Taehyung asked, his eyes focused on his plate.  The last few movie nights Jimin always managed to find an excuse to not show up.  But they all knew the only reason Jimin didn’t come was because of Taehyung.    

            “Uh he mentioned he has an essay he needs to finish and might come after.”

            Taehyung nodded.  It still felt weird that he had to ask the others about Jimin. 

            “Since when is school a priority for Park Jimin?” Yoongi asked.  He eyed Taehyung, “You should talk to him, you know.”

            “About what?  I don’t know what to do to make things better,” Taehyung put his head on the table, “He won’t answer my calls.” 

            “You look heartbroken,” Hoseok looked serious. 

            Taehyung’s heart jumped in his chest and he looked over at Hoseok.  Was that what he was feeling?  He looked over towards Jimin and saw Jimin staring back at him.  He quickly glanced away as soon as Taehyung noticed. 

            A frown appeared on Taehyung’s face and he willed Jimin to look at him again.

            Maybe there was some truth in Hoseok’s words.    

 

            Movie nights, Taehyung decided, were about 1 million out of 100 times worse without Jimin. 

            Taehyung arrived late to Seokjin’s house, still hoping against all hope that Jimin would stop by his house or text him about picking him up.  It was a long shot because Jimin hadn’t interacted with him in nearly a month.  He even contemplated calling Jimin but he didn’t want to feel the inevitable rejection that usually came with calling the other. 

            When he arrived the movie was already playing.  Namjoon had the decidedly worst taste in movies because he only liked about 10 movies in general and kept on choosing them for movie nights.  Taehyung began to wonder why he was appointed as the movie chooser.  The love sofa that he and Jimin usually occupied was empty, the whole group settling into their respective assigned seating. 

            “You missed the greatest part!” Namjoon threw a popcorn at Taehyung as he fell onto the sofa.

            “I’ve seen this movie twenty times,” Taehyung began.  He looked at the snack table and immediately saw the butter chips that were Jimin’s favorite.  He wrapped himself in one of Seokjin’s blankets as he continued watching the movie. 

            There were times during the movie where he would make comments and look to his side expecting Jimin to agree or comment as well before he realized that yes Jimin wasn’t there and he hasn’t been around for a month already.  It was ironic really because that’s all Taehyung thought about lately: Jimin wasn’t taking up a permanent part in his life.  Yet it was still a shock each time he thought about it.  He was probably having about 200 mini heart attacks a day because of Jimin.  And it definitely wasn’t good for his fragile heart.

            It was when the second movie started that Taehyung realized how zoned out he’d been.  Had he really been thinking about Jimin for 2 hours?  Seokjin got up from where he was on the floor and sat beside Taehyung.  Seokjin was the mom of the group; he was the most caring and the most receptive of other’s feelings.  Honestly a dumb pig could probably understand how Taehyung felt but it was nice to have Seokjin there to fill in Jimin’s empty spot on the sofa.  Seokjin didn’t say anything as he put an arm around Taehyung and pulled him forward into a comforting side hug.  The gesture was nice and made Taehyung feel warm inside but it lacked the warmth that he’d become used to. 

            It was probably 1AM when the third movie finished and by that time everyone but Yoongi and Seokjin were passed out. 

            Taehyung got up from where he was on the couch. 

            “Where are you going?” Yoongi asked.  He was obviously struggling not to move because Hoseok was fast asleep, his head on his lap.

            “Out for a walk,” Taehyung put on his coat.

            “It’s 1AM,” Seokjin pulled Taehyung back, “Are you mad?  How about if you get mugged?”

            Taehyung rolled his eyes, “I can handle it, Mom.”  He grabbed the unopened butter chips on the table. 

            Seokjin was about to argue, but Yoongi grabbed his sleeve, “Let him go.”  Surprisingly, Seokjin didn’t argue. 

 

            Taehyung found himself walking to Jimin’s house. Now that he was here he didn’t know what he wanted to do.  He wasn’t good at confrontation and making decisions and it was almost 2AM now.  He made his way slowly up the five flights of stairs to Jimin’s apartment.  By the time he actually reached Jimin’s apartment it was almost 2:30.  Where did the time go?  Another 10 minutes of waiting and debating of whether to bolt or not, he decided to knock on the door. 

            Or more like tap on the door because he tapped the door with one finger.

            “Well guess he must be sleeping,” Taehyung muttered.

            He could imagine Yoongi shaking his head at him and calling him an idiot.  

            ‘Fine. You want me to knock harder?  I will,’ he shouted to the Yoongi in his mind who was now smiling in encouragement. 

            The knock resounded throughout the whole hallway.  Taehyung jumped back.  Did he actually do that?  His fist was on the door.  Guess he did.  He was about to run away when his hand unconsciously knocked on the door again.  Was he being possessed? 

            He heard a shuffling of footsteps and the door swung open. 

            Taehyung’s mouth went dry as Jimin stared sleepily at him.  The guy wasn’t wearing a shirt and it was just rude. 

            Jimin backed away slightly and closed the door in his face.  Now that was actually rude. 

            The door swung open again and Jimin rubbed his eyes. Taehyung didn’t say anything, still lacking the ability to speak.  He wanted to hug Jimin.  He wanted to apologize.  He wanted to say he was an idiot.  He wanted to say he was wrong. But it was like watching the scene from third person point of view because he wanted to say something but he couldn’t. 

            “It’s 3AM Taehyung,” Jimin rubbed his hand through his hair.

            “I know,” Taehyung spoke slowly, “But…..” he held up the butter chips and Jimin smiled at him.

            “You came all the way here to give me butter chips?”

            “You said you would come after you finished your essay.”

            Jimin looked confused for a second before he nodded, “Yeah.” 

            Taehyung was still holding the butter chips in front of him and Jimin still had his hand on the door.  It looked like Jimin was using it as a barrier to block him from Taehyung. 

            “Uh. This was stupid.  I’ll go now,” Taehyung turned around but stopped when Jimin called out after him. 

            “My chips,” Jimin held out his hand.  Taehyung turned red as he handed it over to Jimin. His hand grazed Jimin’s and there was a little static shock that went through his body at the touch.  He kept the bag in his hand longer than appropriate, not wanting to let it go. 

            Jimin’s eyes shifted and then he rubbed his hair in frustration.  He grabbed the bag and turned around, “Well come in then.  We might as well get some sleep.”

            Taehyung’s eyes widened but he followed Jimin into his apartment. 

            “You can sleep in my room,” Jimin said plainly. He went to his couch and fell onto it, pulling the blanket up to cover his face.

            “Good night then,” Taehyung made his way across the room to Jimin’s bedroom.  The blankets were ruffled.  He was obviously sleeping before Taehyung came.  He fell onto the bed.  Things were weird between them. 

            He could smell Jimin’s familiar scent on the pillow and blanket and it opened up a pit in his stomach.  It reiterated how much he missed the boy who was only in the other room.  Before he knew it, he was shuffling out of the room.

            “Jimin, are you awake?” the living room was dark but he could still see the outline of Jimin’s body on the couch.

            The body shifted and Jimin groaned loudly, “I am now.  Tae, just go to sleep.” 

            “Can we talk?” Taehyung inched closer to the couch.  He saw Jimin sit up on the couch and rub his eyes.

            “Right now?  It’s almost 4am.” 

           “Please,” Taehyung pleaded.  He sat down on the couch beside Jimin, “You haven’t been answering my calls.  I’m trying Jimin.  Just tell me what I can do to fix this.  I’m sorry.”  

            Jimin sighed, “I know you’re sorry Taehyung.  You don’t have to keep repeating it every single time you see me.”

            “But I really am!”

            “Can you just give it a rest?” Jimin said angrily. 

            “Jimin, I,” Taehyung reached out a hand for the other but Jimin pushed it away.

            “I’m tired of hearing the same thing.  And I’m tired.  I want to go to sleep,” Jimin fluffed his pillow and laid down on it, “Go to bed.”    

            Taehyung stayed on the couch.  Jimin sounded really irritated.  It was one thing to know Jimin was angry at him but another thing entirely to witness it.

            “Leave Taehyung,” Jimin repeated. 

 

            Things didn’t change after that night.  He woke up the next morning to a note and an empty apartment.  Despairingly Taehyung knew deep inside that he wasted his last chance to make things right with Jimin.  Another two weeks passed by at school as well.  He didn’t see Jimin at all.  Jimin was purposely avoiding him. 

            It was the last straw.  Yes Jimin was mad at him and he had every right to be.  His punishment for Taehyung was fucking brilliant because he was suffering.  But he’d had enough.  He needed to see Jimin and work things out.  They could move past this and become friends again, couldn’t they? 

            Taehyung skipped last period and waited by Jimin’s locker.  There was no way Jimin could avoid him this time.  He had to go to his locker before leaving school.  He knew Jimin had dance practice today and he usually kept his clothes in his locker. 

            He heard the second bell signaling the day’s end and searched frantically down the now empty hallways.  Did Jimin manage to avoid him again?  You had to be kidding!  Taehyung heard footsteps nearing and straightened up but almost fell down when he saw Jungkook nearing him. 

            He felt his heart flutter and patter but it was nothing like the large heart attacks he once had when he saw the freshman.  Jungkook went to open his locker and Taehyung looked around.  It was only them.  After Jungkook closed his locker door he made his way to Taehyung.  He bowed slightly and Taehyung returned it.

            “You’re Taehyung hyung right?” Jungkook smiled at him.

            Taehyung didn’t trust himself not to stutter so he nodded.

            “Yeah Jimin hyung used to talk about you a lot,” Jungkook stopped beside him. 

            Taehyung’s good mood dimmed slightly.  Used to.  Taehyung repeated that word in his mind. 

            “Um, can you maybe move a bit?” Jungkook asked.  Taehyung moved away confusedly and then Jungkook opened Jimin’s locker.

            “Jimin hyung told me to stop by and get his things,” Jungkook began shyly as he grabbed Jimin’s draw string bag. 

            “Oh,” Taehyung pouted.  Then he thought of something, “Are you going to dance practice now?”

            Jungkook nodded.

            “Can I come with you?”

 

            Taehyung didn’t know how he managed a bus ride sitting beside the love of his life.  They got along surprisingly (well not really surprisingly) well.  They liked the same type of music and watched the same animes.  Jungkook even joined Taehyung when he randomly moved his hands to the bus music in an attempt at dancing while sitting down. 

But Taehyung’s heart didn’t explode and butterflies weren’t coming out of his mouth.  There was no stuttering. He was no longer nervous around the freshman.     

            They got off the bus together and were walking towards the building when a familiar Rolls Royce pulled into a parking spot and Taehyung froze. 

            Jimin got out of his car and Taehyung gave a start when he realized that Jimin no longer had orange hair.  He’d cut his hair.  It was shorter and more spiked up and it was brown. Jimin’s eyes drifted in his direction and Taehyung saw them move to Jungkook and then back to him.  There was a flash of hurt that crossed his eyes before he gave a small smile and wave. 

            Then he started walking towards the building.  Taehyung quickly turned to say bye to Jungkook before running to catch up to Jimin.

            “Hey.  Wait up,” Taehyung was out of breath by the time he reached Jimin. He stumbled on his own feet before grabbing onto Jimin’s shirt to prevent him from speed walking any further.  

            “What’s up,” Jimin said without stopping or turning around.

            “Hey, can we talk?”

            “What is there to talk about?” Jimin turned around and Taehyung almost crashed into him.

            “Look, I know I hurt you.”

            Jimin was quiet for a few seconds, “Then why did you do it?”

            Taehyung stopped, “Because I…”

            “You knew how I felt,” Jimin flung his hands in anger, “I looked like an idiot,” Jimin was shouting in frustration. Taehyung wasn’t sure but it looked like there were tears forming in Jimin’s eyes.  

            “It’s not like that,” Taehyung began in a shaky voice.

            “You should’ve told me earlier on before I….” Jimin stopped, “I thought we were dating!”

            “I’m an idiot.  I know.  I didn’t know how—“

            “You had a thousand opportunities!  But you didn’t!  Did you even care about me Taehyung?”

            “I wanted to tell you I just didn’t know how.  If you let me try to explain.”  This conversation was taking a dangerous turn and if he didn’t fix it now, things would never go back to normal with Jimin. 

            “Look Taehyung, don’t waste your breath on me,” there was sadness in Jimin’s cold stare, “I know everything so let’s just stop right here.  We’re just wasting time at this point,” Jimin’s voice was scarily serious and Taehyung stopped midsentence.

            “You know what?”

            “I know that confession note wasn’t meant for me.” 

            There was dead silence in the parking lot as Taehyung stared at Jimin. He swallowed. How did he find out?

            “You slipped that note into my locker accidentally right?  It all makes sense when I think about it.” Jimin looked devastated.  Taehyung felt a few tears fall freely down his face and quickly wiped them away with his sleeve.

            “How did you find out?”

            “I heard you and Hobi hyung that time in the studio,” Jimin said simply, “Jungkook’s the one you like.  I guess you really didn’t notice me huh?” Jimin’s voice broke at the last sentence and he turned around to start walking away.

            “You’re my best friend, Jiminie,” Taehyung managed to choke out, “I fucked up.  I know I should’ve told you.  I just didn’t know how!  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that this happened.  But I miss you.  I miss you so much that I feel like….I don’t even know…like I’m missing the ability to feel.  And I miss movie nights with you.  I miss your smile and holding your hand.  I miss talking to you and seeing you every day. And I’m not good with words and I don’t know what I can do so we can go back to how we were before. But I want us to.”  Taehyung spoke so quickly that he had to take long breaths as he finished.  That was probably the most he’s talked in the last two months. 

            Jimin’s back was to him but he turned his head slightly, “I just need time.”

 

            Taehyung didn’t know how much time Jimin needed but he was ready to wait as long as it would take.          

“What’s he up to these days?  How is he?” were Taehyung’s first words to Hoseok almost every day.

            “Well hello to you too,” Hoseok put his books beside Taehyung on the table and pulled up a chair.

            “That’s not an answer,” Taehyung began, “How much time does he need?” Taehyung muttered to himself.  It had been like a month since the incident in the parking lot.  Jimin wasn’t completely avoiding him anymore.  He still joined them occasionally at lunch and waved at him when he bumped into him at school. But it was all…friendly.  Like they were acquaintances and he was being polite.  Taehyung hated it. 

            He wanted Jimin to smile at him with that sunshine smile.  He wanted Jimin to hold his hand and cuddle with him.  He also missed laughing.  Taehyung hardly ever laughed anymore. 

            “Hey guys.”

            Taehyung closed his eyes.  Surely this was just his hallucination because there was no way Jimin just appeared at their table looking sinfully good in just his blazer and jeans and that damn brown hair.

            “Jimin!” Hoseok exclaimed. He got up and hugged the younger, quickly grabbing a chair and pushing Jimin into it. 

            Hoseok elbowed Taehyung roughly. Taehyung’s wide eyes crinkled as a smile appeared on his face.  He moved his chair closer to Jimin. 

            “Are we still having movie night at hyung’s?  Finals are finally over and I could use a night to relax,” Jimin leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head. 

            “Yup we are,” Hoseok smiled and looked over at Taehyung with a look that basically asked, “Are you mute or something?  He’s here.  Talk. Say something!”

            Jimin opened his backpack and took out his notebook. 

            Taehyung wanted to say something but he was afraid if he did, he would scare Jimin off.

            He looked over at Jimin who was writing some notes into his notebook and then at Hoseok who was shaking his head at him.  He saw his hyung mouth, ‘idiot’ at him before also taking out his homework.

            The three of them worked on their homework in silence until the bell sounded and then they all got up. 

            “Bye,” Taehyung muttered before he turned in the direction of his next class. Man he really was an idiot.  Taehyung was internally kicking himself because how could someone so stupid exist.  All he wanted and hoped for was a chance to be friends with Jimin again but now he was walking away.

            “I’ll walk you to class,” Jimin said. He waved goodbye to Hoseok as he fell into step with Taehyung. 

            Taehyung turned red.  Was this really happening?

            “Why are you acting so weird?”

            “Me?” Taehyung could feel sweat form on his forehead.  ‘Really?’ Taehyung cursed, ‘I thought we were past this.’

            Jimin wiped his forehead, “Are you okay?”

            “I…I just missed you,” Taehyung stuttered. 

            Jimin smiled.  It was one of his sunshine smiles and Taehyung’s boxy smile appeared on his own face. 

            “I missed you too,” Jimin patted him on the head and stopped outside his classroom, “Wanna go together to Hyung’s?”

            “Yeah,” Taehyung smiled, “I’ll see you later then.”  Jimin waved at him before sprinting off to his next class.  For the first time in months, Taehyung felt the sunshine.  It was cheesy but it was so true. 

 

            Taehyung almost did a double take when he saw Jimin leaning by the side of his locker after school.  It was almost like déjà vu.  There were a couple of girls who passed by and giggled and Jimin waved at them, a smile gracing his face.  Jimin could probably get anyone he wanted, Taehyung realized.  He was just unfortunate to choose someone whose heart belonged to someone else. 

            “Hey,” Taehyung shuffled up to Jimin who moved aside to allow him to open his locker.

            “Can you stop being awkward?” Jimin muttered. 

            “I’m not being awkward though,” Taehyung lied.

            “You’re acting weird.  You don’t have to feel strange or anything.  I don’t like you that way anymore.”

            Taehyung froze, “Oh?” he asked.  Was he disappointed?  Shouldn’t he be relieved that he could openly pursue Jungkook now?  Did he even like Jungkook anymore?  Each time he encountered the other his heart didn’t do back flips anymore.  Was he happy that Jimin was over him?  That meant they could be friends without Taehyung worrying about hurting Jimin’s feelings again. 

            “Yeah, I’m over it,” Jimin shrugged. 

            Inside Taehyung was thinking, ‘Why are you over me?  Am I not worth liking anymore?’ 

            “Hey, I’m serious,” Jimin helped Taehyung take off his backpack, “So don’t feel like you have to be awkward around me.” 

            “I’m not being awkward though.”

            Jimin raised an eyebrow, “Okay then.”