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Just between us, it only has one ball, but it’s having one (7, 3, 5)

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‘Twas an hour before deadline, and at every desk
The PCs were off, it was simply grotesque
Gnome junior was pacing the floor of the place
As AWOL was veteran writer Phil Space

Acres of white still were bare on the pages
That by now should be heaving with stories outrageous
And satire, and phonies, and witty transcriptions,
And readers in outrage withdrawing subscriptions

Where was Thribb? Where was Slagg? Where was sodding Craig Brown,
That’s a page a photo they also were down
Celeb and the Yobs and Dave Snooty weren’t there
And Gnome junior was pulling the last of his hair