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There's a piece missing from my heart and it looks like you

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It had been a painful week for Jimi Constantine. He had never expected Robin to have any sort of feelings for him beyond normal friendship. Dealing with just his own unacceptable ideas had been hard enough, but Robin actually reciprocating?

Things had become impossible.

There was just something about Robin that had made Jimi fall for him despite the huge age difference. Maybe it was the way Robin seemed so much older at times, but how he at times made Jimi feel like fourteen again. But he knew feeling this way was bad, that it was unacceptable. So he stayed silent, pretended he felt nothing and went on with being Robin's big brother-figure.

And it was great, really. Robin was amazing at everything he did and even though he pretended to be annoyed by it Jimi was proud of him. Proud of being part of his team and helping him. There was so much talent in the boy and nobody could deny that.

Jimi just happened to see all his other good sides too. More than he would like. In fact so much that he'd quite inconveniently found himself falling for a young boy seventeen years his junior. And if that wasn't disturbing, pretty much nothing was. He'd be the first to admit that at any time.

Ignoring the fact that he ever even considered Robin in that way worked just fine until exactly six days and 21 hours ago. That was when some goofing around on the trampoline ended with Robin kissing him and Jimi's world just about crumbled into tiny pieces.

Since then he had been avoiding Robin as much as possible. Due to their work he still got to see the boy around other people, but he made sure they were never just the two of them. And he stayed at least a metre away from him at all times. It worked, but it was exhausting.

The more he tried not to think about Robin, the more he did. And he could clearly see Robin was getting frustrated and wanted to talk about what happened. For the first couple of days the boy had looked like he was walking on pink clouds so Jimi was sure that talking was a bad idea. If the time their hands had accidentally touched in that cafeteria was anything to go by, very bad.

He could under no condition let Robin get to him like that again. He'd lose the battle against himself then.

Robin on the other hand was of course doing everything to get Jimi's attention. After his decision to figure out what had really made him do that he'd done just that. For a few days he'd walked around thinking basically only of Jimi. It was a lot easier than he'd expected, his head filled with all the nice memories from the summer and he couldn't help but smile. Or well, grin.

The song they were working on for his next album suddenly felt so much more special and he decided he'd make sure there were no girls mentioned in his parts. Because his missing piece wasn't a girl, it was his very own producer and buddy Jimi. It had just taken him a moments insanity and a kiss to realise it. But now there was no backing out.

Which is why he had to convince Jimi he was serious. That, he decided when the pink clouds from the first two days thinned out just enough for him to notice that Jimi was avoiding him. Instead of having Robin come to his room and work on mixing songs or watching some movie "Robin just had to see" he'd disappear quickly without a word. And he'd stayed far away from the trampoline.

His eyes kept following Jimi wherever he went and he started to deliberately try to bump into him, to get to feel a little bit of Jimi even for a short moment. His biggest success was on the fourth day since the Kiss when he managed to get in line right behind Jimi in a cafeteria and reached out at the exactly right moment.

Jimi's hand was warm, just as it had always been, but still in a different way. It made Robin want to grab it and hold it for as long as possible. It made something tingle and spark in him and he felt like a silly lovestruck fourteen year old. Which he supposed, was exactly what he was. The moment was over far too fast however, when Jimi pulled his hand away like it had touched a hot stove.

Slowly the giddyness of his realisation turned into annoyance as Jimi kept avoiding him and he really just wanted to talk to the man so bad. Maybe even just to get things to go back to the way they were before. Robin missed spending time with Jimi. A lot. By the eighth day since the Kiss, his best friend since forever and guitarist, Samppa, cornered him and asked what the heck was up with him and Jimi.

"I can see something's happened, I'm not blind."

And for a short moment Robin did try to pretend it was nothing, but when had he ever been able to keep something from Samppa? Pretty much never. So once they were alone in Robin's hotel room he gave in.

"I like Jimi."

"Aha?"

"And I kissed him."

"Oh."

They were both silent for a few seconds. It wasn't exactly awkward but Robin's heart was beating loudly and he bit his lip as he waited for Samppa to say anything else. The 16-year old knew everything about Robin (almost at least), but this must have been the heaviest thing he'd ever had to share.

"Okay. Well. I knew you weren't completely into girls but wow, didn't expect the older men thing."

Robin had to blink a couple of times and go over Samppa's words again in his head before actually understanding everything he'd said. Smiling he decided to not even ask how Samppa had figured out he liked boys too. He supposed he'd just made it obvious somehow. Obvious to the friend who knew him best in the whole world. Not very surprising.

"Well, it's-- it's not older men. It's Jimi."

He felt himself blushing as Samppa looked at him for a long time without a word but he looked back at him without breaking eye contact. He'd thought about this a lot and he did mean it. It was Jimi.

"You're actually serious. It's not idolizing or whatever? You don't want to be like him, but actually be with him?"

"Yes. Really, I've thought about it. A lot."

"Well, really, whatever floats your boat makes me happy, but uhm, you do have the problem of Jimi actively avoiding you."

With a sigh Robin told Samppa every detail he could remember from what had happened. Including that little kiss Jimi placed on his shoulder before disappearing. He sure wished he'd had time to snap an instagram of Samppa's face at that moment.

"I can see where he's coming from though, you're not exactly the same age."

"I don't care"

"I know, I know, Robin.", Samppa said with a smile. "And I have an idea."

 

Another week had almost passed already. This one had been a lot easier for Jimi. Robin had clearly gotten over most of his sudden burst of feelings as he wasn't trying to bump into Jimi and touch him all the time anymore. It made things easier but it did ignite a little disappointment in him. But mostly relief. The important part was that Robin went on with his life like the teenager he was and just forgot about whatever made him kiss Jimi.

There had been another succesful gig today and Robin kept amazing him with his talent and energy every single time. In both acceptable and unacceptable ways. Now, everyone was heading out for something to eat. Robin and Samppa were gonna catch up later but that ended up being the case for Jimi too. He must've forgotten his wallet in his jacket, which was still in the bus. Annoying, but there was nothing else to do than to go and get it.

The bus wasn't locked when he got there and he'd definitely have to mention that to their driver later. Quite a serious security risk. He got in and started digging around for his jacket, not really sure which seat he'd occupied when he took it off.

"Looking for this?"

It really shouldn't have come as a surprise. There, in the back of the bus was Robin. Holding Jimi's wallet with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah. I need that to get food", Jimi replied with a sigh.

"And I needed it to get a chance to talk to my missing piece."

"...Robin", Jimi started with a sigh.

"Yes, Jimi?"

With another sigh Jimi walked up and sat down on the other side of the aisle from where the boy was sitting. After swallowing once he looked at Robin and continued.

"You know I can't do this."

"The president's wife is 30 years younger than him."

That made him laugh a little. But Robin's face was dead serious. He turned in his seat so he was facing Jimi. Not good, Jimi thought.

"Look, I've been thinking a lot since then. I don't know when this started but I really do like you like that. Now when I sing, the words only make me think of you and I know I'm a kid but I won't always be and I won't tell anyone, I promise, I just-- well okay, Samppa already knows, but he knows everything-- want to be with you?"

Didn't Robin need to breathe like normal people?

"Samppa knows? What did he say?"

Robin blinked, looking adorable, before replying.

"Go steal his wallet or something before I go crazy watching you two dancing around the issue like monkeys."

Now at that Jimi couldn't help but laugh. Those two really were best friends. Sometimes he wished he had someone as close. Jare probably came closest, but he wasn't sure he'd tell him about something like this. This was too risky.

When he stopped laughing Robin was watching him again. Exactly the way he had during the first, torturous, week. With a little smile that went all the way to his eyes, like what he was looking at was the best thing in the world to him. Something clenched in Jimi's chest.

Suddenly Robin stood up and stepped across the aisle with Jimi's wallet in his hand.

"You probably want this back. So you can buy me soft ice."

But just as Jimi reached out to take it Robin leaned in and pressed his lips against Jimi's again. He tried so hard to pull away, to stop this madnesd that really couldn't end well. But as Robin moved his lips, actually kissing him this time, whatever determination Jimi had just drained away and he kissed back.

It was sweet and innocent. Just two pairs of lips moving against each other a little clumsily. But it felt like heaven and they both felt it all the way to their toes. Slowly Jimi lifted a hand up to Robin's head, letting it disappear into his messy hair and pull Robin just a little bit closer.

Robin followed and sat down on Jimi's lap. As they pulled away and rested their foreheads against each other Robin opened his eyes, never even realising he'd closed them. Jimi was looking right at him, his eyes dark.

"I like you."

"I know, Robin. I-- do like you too."

Robin's grin was the widest Jimi had ever seen on his face and suddenly Robin's arms were around his neck, hugging him tight. He let his own arms encircle Robin's small waist and breathed in his scent.

Oh boy, what had he gotten himself into? This was really not supposed to happen, but now it had. And now he was starting something that would be far from easy. He wasn't even pretending he thought it'd last. But could a little closeness be that bad? And if it did end up lasting... Robin wouldn't stay fourteen forever.

"Soft ice, you said? Of course I'll treat."

 

And they had many ice creams. Things went quite well from then on. They fell back into their previous routine of randomly watching movies and playing games. Those times just happened a bit more often and behind the closed doors Robin sat close to Jimi, leaning on him, sometimes even on his lap. There were kisses now and then. More of those sweet tastes of lips and warmth that made all of Robin feel like a butterfly farm. During practice Robin would turn and look at Jimi at certain places in the lyrics if no one was watching and they would both grin. Then Samppa would imitate throwing up behind a hand.

Weeks went by like this and autumn arrived. Robin felt like his feeling sonly intensified with every day that passed and they became closer and closer. Quite often Samppa would hang out with them too, just to make things less suspiscious. He truly was the greatest friend Robin could ever ask for. One who supported Robin and Jimi, because they knew that it couldn't stay this easy forever.

But for as long as these wonderful days lasted, they would enjoy them to the fullest.

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