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I'm Not Letting Go

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I sigh as I stir, & I feel his arm band around me & pull me closer to him. We rub noses & I smile. I open my eyes, greeted by his & we both smile as he closes the gap & kisses me.

“Morning,” he says.

“Mmmmmorning,” I reply.

“Best middle of the night wake up call.”

I chuckle.

“Does that count as make up sex?”

“Technically we weren’t together when we fought.”

“Seriously, I’m glad that you came over.”

I smile. “Me too,” I reply, leaning in & kissing him.

He wraps his arm around me as we kiss, pulling me on top of him. I grind my hips, making us both moan into our kiss. He pushes inside of me & slowly thrusts as I rock my hips.

He holds my hips, making me stop moving, & then thrusts faster. The pleasure gets too much & I orgasm, collapsing against him. He holds me close, not losing his pace. He then flips us, so I’m on my back, & kisses my neck as I pant. I grip his back- this is better than all my dreams. He continues on & I feel another orgasm coming. So I wrap my legs around his hips, both of us moaning as my inner walls tighten around him. We climax at the same time, his thrusts slowing as we come down. I turn & kiss his jaw. He turns & meets my lips.


“Hey, hey, hey, don’t fall asleep!” He says, squeezing my shoulder.

We’re standing in his quaint little kitchen. He’s cooking us bacon & scrambled eggs, his left arm around me & I have my arms around him, my head resting on his chest. I’m wearing one of his shirts.

“Well, someone kept me up all night.”

“Oh, says the one who turned up on my doorstep at almost 2am for a booty call.”

I lift my head up to look at him & gape. “It wasn’t a booty call!”

He grins. “Just teasing,” he replies, leaning in for a kiss.

I rest my head on his chest again as he turns back to cooking. “You know we haven’t talked about last night.”

“About the fight?”

I lift my head, looking at him as I nod. “I’m sorry for getting mad.”

He smiles a little. “You had the right to,” he replies. “I made a very private thing public without telling you.”

“I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

“Hey,” he says, putting down the tongs. He cups my cheek. “You did the right thing. Outside The Waterhole & when you turned up at my door.”

“Why do you have to be so understanding & kind to me? It just makes me feel so bad for treating you like crap.”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

I stare at him. My heart probably stopped for a few seconds too. That’s the first time he’s ever said he loves me.

He looks nervous. “I’m sorry,” he says. “It’s too soon to be saying it.”

“Well, you do have a strong habit of blindsiding me,” I reply with a smile.

He chuckles. “True.”

I press my lips to his. He pulls me closer & I wrap my arms around his neck. We break apart when we smell our breakfast burning.


“Have either of you seen Erin this morning?” Mark asks Paige & me as we make breakfast.

“No,” Paige replies. “Haven’t seen her since she left with you for the competition.”

“Haven’t seen her since she bolted after Jay’s song,” I reply.

Paige drops the butter knife she’s holding, turning to me & raising her eyebrow. “She bolted?”

I nod. “Jay sang a really beautiful original song that was a love song to Erin,” I reply. “She freaked out, & left straight after it. Jay chased after her, but came back without her.”

“Wow,” Paige says.

“I just hope she’s okay,” Mark says. “Her bedroom door has been open all night.”

I frown. “I swear it was shut when we got home.”

Mark frowns. “Maybe it was…” he replies. “But it’s not now.”

Paige shrugs. “Maybe she’s gone for a run,” she says. “You know, to clear her head. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s still upset over the song.”


I stop on our front veranda, psyching myself up for the onslaught of questions. Mostly from Paige & Mark.

I sigh, cross to the front door, open the security door & then main door. Mark & Paige are standing in the kitchen making breakfast, while Aaron’s seated at the bench. All three look at me.

“There you are!” Mark says. “Where have you been?”

Paige looks me over. She looks shocked but then smirks. She slaps Mark’s bare left bicep with the back of her hand, doing it repetitively, each time getting harder.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!” he says, moving his arm out of her reach on the last one. “What?”

“She’s been with Jay!”

He frowns as I cross to the bench.

“How do you know that?” he asks as I sit on a stool.

“She may be in the same dress as last night,” She replies. She looks at me. “Which still looks smoking hot, by the way.” She turns back to Mark. “But she wasn’t in knee-high boots or wearing that jacket when she left with you. So clearly she’s been back here & then went back out.”

“You are extremely observant,” I reply.

“When it comes to you slipping out in the middle of the night to go finally get all hot & heavy with the lovesick puppy you call a friend, then… Yes.”

“Don’t call him that.”

“So… was it as hot as your dreams?”

I fight back the urge to puke. “You are unbelievable!” I look at Mark. “Intervene, please!”

“Paige, leave her alone,” Mark says.

“Awww, come on! This is exciting!”

“I’m not going to talk about it!” I reply. “Yeah, I went to see him. Yes, I slept with him. That’s all you get to know.”

She pouts. She thinks for a minute & a small smirk appears.

“Don’t you dare harass him for details!” I say, sternly.

She frowns. “You’re no fun!”

Exasperated, I look at Mark.

“Paige,” He says, looking at her. “You need to give Erin space, okay?”

She raises an eyebrow. “So she makes us wait a month & then when it finally happens, I’m supposed to ignore it?”

“Yes,” I reply. “You’ve been driving me nuts pushing me to do it, despite knowing that I hated it. What makes you think that I would want to spill the details now?”

Tyler emerges from the bedroom. “What’s going on?”

“Erin slept with Jay,” Paige says.

Tyler looks at me, surprised. “Really?”

I nod.

“That’s… Surprising,” he replies. “Given how you reacted to his song last night. He was kicking himself when he came back.”

“Makes two of us.”

“Betcha the make-up sex was hot.”

Paige!” Mark says.

“If you want an escape route,” Tyler says quietly to me. “Felicity’s fussing. Pipes is in there now, but I’m sure she’ll want her mum.”

“You’re a life saver!” I quietly reply.

He smiles. “I’m just happy you worked things out with Jay.”

I smile. “Me too.”

“So am I,” Aaron says, patting my back.

“We all are,” Mark adds. “We’re just more respectful.”

Paige, shocked, hits him. I get up & head off to get Felicity.


I’m in the middle of giving Felicity her breakfast, when my mobile buzzes. I put down her spoon on her high chair, & pick my mobile up off the table. I smile when I see the text.

Come down to the Waterhole. Need you. Sheila’s pestering me. Jay xx

“Loverboy sending you a love note?” Paige asks.

“So what if he is?” I reply, unlocking my mobile to reply to him.

“It’s so cute!” She says.

I type a reply- You have the wrong number. You’ll want your manager.

I hit send, put my mobile down & then continue feeding Felicity. It buzzes again just as I’m crossing to put her empty bowl in the sink. I put it in & cross back.

Officially asking for you to take over. Besides, I want to see you. Xx

I reply- We’ll be there soon. Xx

I’m about to put my mobile in my pocket when he replies.

Please let that be you and Felicity!! Xx PS love seeing the kisses on the end ;)

I reply- You’ll see ;)


Aaron & I walk into The Waterhole. Sheila is hovering around Jay, trying to take photos of him. He’s unimpressed.

“Sheila!” Aaron says as we approach.

She looks at us, & then looks at Jay. “You called tin reinforcements?”

“Actually, I texted just her,” Jay replies.

He raises his right arm to wrap around me, but at the last second stops. I see him nervously look at the other two.

“It’s okay,” I say quietly. “Az knows.”

He puts his arm around me & presses a kiss to my left temple.

“Well, that’s a better sight than last night!” Sheila says.

I smile. “Stop taking photos of him, Sheila.”

“But they’re for our social media!” She replies. “He won the competition. Which you would know had you stuck around for the voting & announcement.”

That affects me more than it should. I fight back tears. Aaron guides Sheila away.

“You okay?” Jay asks.

I nod “Yeah,” I reply. “I don’t know why that got me so much.”

He pulls me in for a hug. “You’re probably just tired.”

“Yeah, probably,” I reply. “Or maybe I’m feeling guilty for not staying professional last night.”

He pushes me back to look me in the eyes. “You did the right thing. Sheila’s just being too harsh. They didn’t need all three of you there to decide.”

I force a smile.

“How about we sneak out, & we can have a quiet day back at mine?”

“Sounds like a really good plan.”

He smiles. We then head out.


“Erin,” Jay says, rubbing my arm.

I groan, snuggling into him more. It’s just too good being here to move.

“Come on, babe,” he says.

I open my eyes, turning my head to look at him. He smiles & presses a kiss to my forehead. I look at his TV, seeing the credits rolling on the movie we’d been watching.

“I missed the end,” I say.

“You’ll have more chances to see it,” he replies. “Besides, you needed the sleep.”

I look at him. “You make a good pillow.”

He smiles, chuckling. “Thank you,” he replies. “I think.”

“You’re welcome,” I reply, pushing myself up to kiss him.

“I should take you home.”

I pout. “Don’t you want me to stay the night?”

“I could be selfish & keep you all to myself for another night,” he replies. “But I was thinking how Felicity will want to see her mum.”


“Can’t have that beautiful little girl missing her mum.”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Being so perfect.”

He smiles, leaning in to kiss me as he replies, “I’m not.”

“You are,” I whisper against his lips after our kiss.

“Just looking out for the most important girl in my most important girl’s life.”

I fight back tears.

“Awww, don’t cry!”

“That was just so beautiful.”

He smiles. “Just stating the truth. It’s how I see things.”


It’s dusk when Erin & I walk up the drive at hers. We reach the top when she stops. I turn back to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can I just call Mark, find out if he’s in there?” She asks. “Can’t we just slip in, grab a few clothes & take Felicity back to yours?”

I pull her closer, wrapping my arms around her as she places her hands on my chest.

“Why don’t you want to be here?”

“Because we’re going to be met by an endless wave of questions from my hormonal crazy sister-in-law.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

She tilts her head. “You haven’t been on the receiving end of it yet.”

I smile. “I think I can handle it for one night.”

“Ha!” She says. “I can barely last five minutes of it!”

“You’re not alone this time.”

She smiles before kissing me.

Someone clears their throat & Erin jumps back. Tyler & Piper are walking up the last bit of the drive.

“Enough with the PDAs, sis!” Tyler says.

“Oh, yeah? Remember that when you get all lovey-dovey with Piper later,” Erin replies.

“Oh!” Tyler replies, faking being hurt. “But seriously, it’s good seeing you happy.”

She smiles. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” he replies. “Now… are you coming or going?”

“Coming,” Erin says. “Though I wish I could leave so I don’t have to be in the same room as Paige.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Tyler says. “After you & Az left, Mark gave her a long speech about it.”

Erin raises her eyebrow.

“So come in & see if she hounds you,” Tyler says.

Erin sighs. “Fine.”

She gestures for Tyler & Piper to go past & they do. I put my arm around her & we follow them up the stairs.

When we enter their house, Paige is sitting in the armchair while Mark is sitting on the couch with Felicity.

“Ah, the other lovers have arrived home!” She says.

Mark stands, Felicity in one arm. He steps past Paige just as she reaches out. He helps her to her feet, & the trio come over to us. Paige makes a beeline to me, throwing her arms around me. I hug her back.

“I’m so happy Erin finally went for it,” She says as we hug.

I catch sight of Erin fuming, reaching with both hands in Paige’s direction like she’s going to strangle her. Paige & I part, & Erin quickly drops her arms. She takes Felicity from Mark, smothering the little girl’s face with kisses.

“You staying for dinner, Jay?” Mark asks.

I nod. “That would be good. Thanks, Mark.”

He smiles as Paige quietly claps excitedly.

“You’re welcome,” Mark says. “We were going to get Chinese.”

“Sounds good.”

“What about Az?” Tyler asks.

“He’s on his way shortly,” Mark replies.


I quietly shut Felicity’s bedroom door so not to wake her. I jump a little as arms wrap around me, but relax against his chest.

“She asleep?” He whispers.

I nod, resting my head back on his shoulder. This is the first time all night that we’ve had a moment to ourselves. It’s a much needed break from being around Paige. She’s been fairly quiet about bombarding us with relationship questions, but has been giving us looks & asking Jay heaps of personal questions. So getting away from her for a few minutes with him is relaxing.

“We should head back out to the others.”

I shake my head. “Let’s go to my room.”

He chuckles. “Is it really that bad spending time with your family.”

“My brothers & Piper, yes.”

“Paige isn’t that bad.”

“You haven’t seen how bad she gets yet.”

He kisses my cheek. “Just ignore her. She’ll get over it soon enough.”

“She hasn’t dropped it yet & it’s been a month.”

“Hold on just a little longer,” he says. “Besides, you have me now.”

I turn around in his arms. “Can’t we just go to my room?”

“Just come back for a little while,” he says. “And then we can go curl up in your bed.”

I pout.

“I’ll make it worth your time later.”

I narrow my eyes. “You better.”

He gives me a quick kiss, before taking my hand & leading me back into the lounge. The others have set up a game on the coffee table. Paige is sitting in the armchair, Mark perched on the arm, while Tyler & Piper sit on the couch. Aaron’s sitting on the floor to the right of the table. Jay leads me round the back of the couch. He sits down & pulls me down so I’m sitting on his lap.

“Three teams of two & I’ll be the game master,” Aaron says. “Any objections?”

“Nope,” Tyler says. “But be prepared to be annihilated by me & Pipes!”

“HA! In your dreams, little bro!” I reply.

“Oh, game on!” he replies.


“Okay, we just need to roll a three or higher to win,” Tyler says, shaking the dice in his hands.

Jay & I currently hold the lead. We’re two moves from the end. Tyler & Piper are just behind us. Mark & Paige are three behind them. Tyler had been gloating for most of the game since they were smashing it. But luck swung my & Jay’s way shortly after, & we took the lead.

“Just hurry up & roll it,” Aaron says.

“What will you do if I don't?”

“I’ll make you go back fifteen places.”

Tyler gapes. “That's not in the rules!”

“I’m Game Master,” Aaron replies. “I can change the rules whenever I see fit.”

“Just roll it!” Piper says.

Tyler gives his hands one last furious shake, blows his fingers for luck, & then releases the dice onto the game board. We watch them bounce. It's an anxious few seconds, but they finally stop.

“Snake eyes!” Aaron declares.

Tyler groans, flopping back. I punch the air. Piper moves their piece forward two spots, onto the square one ahead of mine & Jay’s but one before the finish mark. Which means we still have the chance to win.

“Which one of you wants to roll the winning numbers?” Aaron asks as he picks up the dice for us.

“Oi, potentially winning!” Tyler says.

“You go for it,” Jay says. “Beat him.”

I smirk as I turn & take the dice from Aaron. I give them a quick shake & then toss them onto the table. One bounces a few times & then stops. The other rolls across the table, only just managing to stop before toppling off. Aaron checks each one. He then looks at Tyler, who is nervously waiting.

“Sorry, Gurtie,” Aaron says, causing Tyler to flop back. “Erin, you rolled a ten!”

“YESSSS!” I say.

Jay pulls me closer to him & I lean down to meet his lips. Paige whistles & we part, looking sheepish.

“Congratulations,” Mark says.

“Thanks,” Jay & I say in unison.

“And Ty?” Mark asks. “You're a sore loser.”

“Says the guy who came last.”

“I’m not the one complaining!”

“Well, this has been fun,” Paige says. “But I’m going to head to bed.”

“No! Stay & we’ll do a rematch!” Tyler says.

“Uh, no. One time is enough,” Paige replies. “Besides, I have two babies who love to use my bladder as a kick bag.”

Tyler scrunches up his face. “Too much information.”

“Awww, poor widdle Gurtie.”

Paige gets up with Mark’s help. They say goodnight & head through.

“I should go home,” Piper says.

“Nooo,” Tyler says. “Stay.”

She sighs. “I don't know, Ty.”

He nods slowly & looks down.

“You're such a toddler!” She says, shaking her head.

She stands & walks away. She stops, looks down at him. “You coming or what?”

He leaps up as he grins. They say goodnight, & I chuckle as I watch him follow her through to his bedroom. She still looks annoyed.

Aaron’s packing up the game. I get up & start helping, Jay joining in.

“I thought you two would want to head to bed too,” Aaron says as we pack up.

“And leave you here cleaning up? Not a chance,” I reply. “Besides, there’ll be a queue for the bathroom.”

He smiles. “True.”


We get into my bed & Jay flicks off the lamp. We get comfortable, Jay lying behind me. He wraps his left arm around me, hooking his hand around my right side, & pulls me even closer so my back is flush against his.

“Comfortable?” He asks.

“Yep. You?”



He kisses my shoulder. A part of me wants to make love to him, but I know we’ll get carried away & we won’t sleep for half the night. So I just lean back more against him. It feels so good to lie here in his arms. To have his warmth against my back. I never realised how much I’ve missed this.


It's 9am when I make my way through to the kitchen for a drink. Everyone else, including Piper, are still asleep. After all, it’s Sunday. I’m gulping down a glass of water when there's a knock at my door. Frowning, I place the glass down on the bench & cross to the door. I open it, shocked to see Mavi standing there. She walks past me without a word.

“Sure, let yourself in,” I say, shutting the door.

I turn to face her.

“I know it's been a really long time since we broke up, & it's a shock to see me here.”

“Yeah, it is,” I say. “A huge shock.”

“I’ve been missing you lately,” She says. “Initially I was okay, but lately I can't get you out of my head & I had to come & see you.”

“I’m with Piper now.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You're still with that little schoolgirl?”


“Dump her.”


“You heard me. Dump her.”


“You & I belong together.”

“Do you even remember how we broke up?”

“Whatever you have with her is just a little infatuation, that's going to sizzle out sooner rather than later,” she says, stepping closer. “But we always had lots of fun. We’ll out last what you have with her.”

I shake my head. “I’m with Piper,” I reply. “I love her.”

“But you love me.”

Used to.”

She steps even closer, placing a hand on the back of my head before I can step back. She pulls my head down, pressing her lips to mine. I try to pull back, but she holds me close.

“What the hell?!

Mavi pulls back, smirking. I look over to Piper, who is standing in the doorway to the bedrooms in one of my shirts.