The Couple’s Yoga Challenge
“I’d like to state for the record, before this video even starts that I think this is a terrible idea and will end in bruises.”
Bucky glares at Steve before focussing his attention back to the camera. “Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed didn’t they? Hey guys, ignore Captain Grumpy here. So last Friday, I put up a post on twitter asking you guys what you’d like to see for this months ‘Fans Select’. There were an awful lot of people who wanted something called ‘The Couple’s Yoga Challenge’. Now, let’s be honest, you guys know me. I’ve never done a day of yoga in my life. So I was pretty hesitant at first, but you guys requested it so here it is!”
He cuts off and glances at Steve, who’s next to Natasha on the couch. He’s playing with Sputnik, Natasha’s golden retriever puppy, but he still looks up when Bucky pauses and smiles reassuringly. “Sounds like a good intro to me Buck.” Then his grin widens and he adds, “He is literally not kidding about never doing yoga you guys! So he wanted to practice a bit before this video so he wouldn’t look too silly, and he tried to do a few stretches. That didn’t end well did it Nat?”
Bucky pans the camera so that it focuses on Natasha’s face, who’s giving him her best unamused look. “No it didn’t. For the record Barnes, you still owe me a new coffee table.”
Turning the camera back to face him, he continues, “Well, now that everyone’s done picking on Bucky (Steve snorts at this), I realised at one point that for this to be a couple’s yoga challenge, I did in fact need another person.”
“Really Buck, I never would have gathered. Brilliant deduction.”
He rolls his eyes at Steve’s good natured teasing but inwardly he’s excited that Steve now feels comfortable enough to crack jokes around his camera, although he’ll edit out most of this footage to protect his friend’s privacy.
“Initially, I thought of asking Natasha for help, but then I realised she’d make me look completely terrible. I needed someone who was a bit more my level. Which is why I recruited....”
Bucky waits for a minute, and when nothing happens, he clears his throat and repeats a bit louder, “Which is why I recruited….”
“Oh for the love of, Clint!”
There’s a muffled curse and some clanging sounds before Clint comes stumbling in, batting away Lucky who’s nipping at his ankles. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over Pizza Dog’s barking.”
He waves at the camera and Bucky introduces him. Bored with the lack of attention, Lucky trots over to the sofa and squeezes his way between Natasha and Steve, plopping down noisily. Sputnik glares at him disdainfully before pawing at Steve’s hand, a signal for him to continue his petting.
“And would you take a look at that guys. We’re all one big, happy, dysfunctional family,” Bucky cheerfully exclaims.
“Anyway, as you can tell, we’re not in my flat this week, because somehow I had a feeling my neighbours wouldn’t have been too appreciative of all the noise.”
“And trust me,” Clint interjects, “This is going to be noisy. And hard. And sweaty.”
Bucky freezes for a second, his mind catching up with the words, “Wait, did you just? Oh no, there is no way you are turning this video into a pile of innuendos.”
“Why not? It’s be hilarious!”
“I’d get flagged, that’s why.”
Pouting, Clint says, “Fine.”
Shaking his head amusedly, Bucky continues, “So we asked you guys to send us some yoga poses that we could try out and,”
It’s rare that Natasha cuts him off midway in a sentence unless he’s said something stupid or she’s about to make his video a hundred times better.
“You’re not going to do yoga in skinny jeans and hoodies are you?”
He feels a tendril of fear creeping up his spine. “Well, no. We were going to change into sweats and t-shirts. But I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that we’re no longer going with that plan.”
“I’d be a terrible friend if I allowed you to do this challenge without being well-prepared.” Natasha says with a smile.
“Oh no, do I want to know?”
Fifteen minutes later, Clint and Bucky have changed into their respective yoga outfits and Steve wheezes on the couch with laughter, red in the face. Natasha has brought them both yoga pants in hideously bright shades of red and purple (for Clint) as well as fitted tops that look more like bandeaus. She’d even bought them headbands and wrist bands and Bucky wonders if the camera is picking up on how disgruntled he looks.
He glances as Steve coughs again and says, “Hey pal, you need your inhaler?”
“Nah, I’m fine, don’t worry.”
“Alright, well just tell us if you do, ok?”
He catches Natasha’s knowing look and ignores it entirely.
“Well, now that we’re in the appropriate attire (Yeah, for a 90’s inspired exercise video), let’s take a look at what you guys have sent in.”
As he scrolls through his twitter feed, Steve tries to swallow and ignore the fact that his mouth is absolutely parched because those yoga pants leave very little to the imagination. Steve is very resolutely not looking at Bucky’s thighs. He’s not looking so hard at Bucky’s thighs that he yelps in shock when Natasha elbows him in the side.
“Shit, Stevie you ok?” And suddenly, Bucky is very, very close to him, with his broad hands on Steve’s back trying to check for any injuries.
“Your face is all red and sweaty, I told you, you should have used your inhaler. Honestly pal.”
“I’m fine, really Bucky, just have a crick in my neck from staying up too late to finish a comic yesterday.”
“You work too hard punk. Seriously, one of these days I’m going to take you on vacation somewhere.”
Steve smiles at Bucky softly, he’s not used to having someone take care of him like that.
“If you too lovebirds are quite done, maybe we could shoot this video? Not that I want to cut in on your bonding, but these yoga pants are cutting off all circulation in my essential bits.”
Bucky rubs Steve’s back again before sitting down in front of the laptop.
“So the first pose is called the Half Lord of the Fishes Pose, and it’s supposed to promote intimacy and a sense of togetherness if you’re doing this with your partner. For me and Clint, it’s just going to promote a feeling of awkwardness, but we all know that’s why you’re here.”
The first pose isn’t too hard, although a bit too close for comfort and he kind of wishes it was Steve instead of Clint here, but he knows deep down that there’s no way Steve would feel comfortable doing something like this with him, forget about the fact that it’s on camera. Then there’s the fact that, as much as he’s gotten healthier over the years, Steve’s still prone to asthma and odd pains, as a side effect of his various childhood ailments and his current lifestyle. It’d be against Bucky’s conscience to ask Steve to do this.
The poses get tougher and tougher, even including one where they’re both doing headstands facing each other and Clint still manages to crack out a weak, “You know, I’ve always said, you’ve got beautiful eyes.” Causing the pair to collapse into giggles onto each other.
Then come some of the… strange poses.
“No. No way.” Clint says, “My body cannot do that. That’s photo shopped.”
Even Bucky has to admit that the pose looks unreal.
“Well,” Natasha says looking at it, “It might be possible with a bit of help. I can hold your legs up and Steve can support Bucky’s head. If we do that, Clint will be able to lift Bucky.”
He’s hesitant and slightly conscious of the fact that he and Clint are sweating like pigs and there’s no way he can smell very nice. But Steve smiles down at him before lifting Bucky’s shoulders. It goes well for a few seconds, before Lucky decides to investigate what all the fuss is about and noses Clint’s ear.
Who promptly squeaks and loses his grip on Bucky, dropping him. Steve tightens his grip, preventing him from falling and possibly getting injured, but also ends up pulling him closer towards himself. Leaving Bucky uncomfortably close to a part of Steve’s anatomy he would ideally only see after a date.
“Oh no, Stevie, Steve this is too close.”
His face is red and later he admits it’s hilarious how high his voice goes.
The four of them sit on the yoga mat, pointedly not looking at one another as Bucky decides it’s time to wrap up the video.
“Well, I think that last pose was definitely too ambitious for us. We’ll be really feeling that tomorrow won’t we Clint? So there you have it guys, this was the Couple’s Yoga Challenge just like you asked for! I hope you all enjoyed it! A big thank you to Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye, who was brave enough to do this with me. We also did another video on his channel where we baked cupcakes, well we tried to anyway. And thank you to Natasha and Steve as well for their help. I’ll put links in the description to their channels and Stevie’s comic books!”
“As always, if you enjoyed this video, make sure to like, comment and subscribe! That’s all for now, thanks for watching!”
He turns off the camera and turns around only to find the three staring at him thoughtfully.
“What?” he asks warily.
“This video is going to get a lot of interesting comments and screenshots,” Natasha says, “Those yoga pants really leave nothing to the imagination.
Bucky groans and buries his face into Steve’s side. “I hate you all. Except Steve. He can stay.”
* Bloopers *
“No, Clint your foot does not go there, reverse, reverse, reverse….OW!”
“How the heck are the people in these photos smiling? This is not fun, this is hell.”
“I think I need to ice parts of me that should not have to be iced.” “Shut up Barton.”
“No.” “But…” “No. We are not doing that.”
“I’m not sure how that one would work, we’re both the same size.” “Actually, I have an idea, hey Steve, could you come here a minute?” “I will stab you with this pencil and I will show no remorse.”
*Creak* “Hey guys, do you think I could borrow some… Uh.” “Oh shit, Sam this isn’t what it looks like.” “You know what, I don’t even want to know. I’m just to walk out, and lie down because all the brain bleach in the world wouldn’t be enough.”
I'm on tumblr! Come say hi!