Sho reflected on himself, and he thought of all the wrong things he has done in his life that could led to this: being locked in the restroom with his first crush from high school.
He took a deep breath, refusing to move even an inch from the door as he knocked on it stubbornly, hoping that someone would walk by and heard his desperate plea to get the fucking out of here.
Because he didn’t want to face him – he didn’t want to face his crush.
The said crush, who goes with the name Enomoto Kei, was sitting on the floor now, eyes staring blankly at Sho’s futile attempt to draw attention to the restroom; futile, yes, because the music was blaring loudly outside, and unless someone was willing enough to leave the party that was going on outside lead by a famous DJ, then no, no one was going to help them.
Sho regretted his decision to come to this club today – when Jun, his bestfriend since high school invited him over for a class reunion while celebrating his birthday party, Sho has actually think of not going. The reason was he never liked going to the club, never liked the deafening music and strong scent of alcohol and smokes lingering in the air; but if he was to be honest, he was also afraid that Enomoto would suddenly appear out of nowhere. Jun assured him at that time, saying that he probably wouldn’t come since Jun also didn’t have his contact.
But here he was now, sitting on the floor across from Sho, eyes blinking sleepily and was obviously not in a panic like Sho did. Sho wondered why, of all times, he had to show up here now and accidentally went to the restroom at the same timing as Sho did and getting locked together when they tried to leave. Sho never heard from Enomoto again after they graduated. No, he had never heard from Enomoto again after he –
Enomoto let out a loud sigh. “Give it up, Sho – Sakurai-san.” Enomoto corrected himself quickly. “No one would hear us.”
Enomoto looked up at him from behind his thick-framed glasses, asking without actually saying any words.
“Call me Sho.” He said, and he knew he was pushing his luck, but well. “You used to call me Sho-kun.”
“Sho-kun.” Enomoto said slowly, as if tasting how the words rolled in his tongue. “Well, just give it up, Sho-kun. No one would hear us.”
Sho sighed and his shoulders slumped in defeat as he finally moved away from the door, though he had no intention to get closer to Enomoto. He simply sat against the wall, keeping the distance between them as he sat Indian-style across from him. “Let’s just hope that someone would come to this restroom soon.”
“There’s another restroom though.” Enomoto said as a matter-of-fact, and Sho cringed because he had intentionally not bringing the topic up because it’d shatter all his hope of getting out of here before they talked about things he did not want to be talked. “Closer from the dance floor. People would prefer going there than to this restroom.”
“You went to this one though.” Sho pointed out. “Why?”
“It’s too crowded over there.” Enomoto replied smoothly, and his reason was the same with Sho. “That’s why.”
“Huh.” Sho mumbled. He pulled out his phone from his pocket to try and call Jun, but it just happened that there was no signal in the restroom, and with a loud, exaggerating sigh, he stuffed it forcefully back to his pocket. “Shit.”
Enomoto blinked at him, and then he asked, “Do you not like being here that much?”
Sho stared at him in a surprise. “What?”
“Do you dislike my presence?” Enomoto asked quietly, and it might just his mind playing trick on him, but Enomoto sounded slightly disappointed. “Are you feeling uncomfortable being here with me?”
No shit, Sherlock. Of course he was uncomfortable; it has been years since he last saw Enomoto after all. The last time he saw him was spring, right when they just graduated. Enomoto changed a lot, but at the same time, he also didn’t change. Appearance-wise, Enomoto has, undoubtedly, matured. But even though he didn’t look like a teenager that Sho knew anymore, he still looked almost the same to him. His brown eyes were still as sleepy and bored as ever, hidden behind thick-framed glasses. His cheeks were still as chubby as ever, and his pouty lips were as prominent as ever. But even though it was like that, Sho knew that he had changed – Enomoto was an adult now, he wasn’t the quiet teenager he fell in love with years ago.
Sho knew that, and yet –
“You came today.” Sho said that instead of answering. “I can’t believe that you’re actually here. You moved away right after graduation, right? We never heard from you ever since.”
Enomoto frowned at the sudden change of topic, but after a while, he finally answered, “Yes. It has been my dream to travel the world. At that time I’ve saved up enough money, so I went.”
“Wow.” Sho breathed out – he never knew that Enomoto left to another country, he always thought that he just moved to a much quieter area, away from Tokyo and it’s crowd and also, probably, away from Sho. “So you didn’t go to college?”
“Never did.” He mumbled. “It’s a waste of time, going to college. I just travel and travel more.”
“But how about work?”
“I studied a lot while traveling, and I did lots of works while I’m at it so I won’t be running out of money. I am working too right now.”
“What is your job now?”
Enomoto tilted his head, and a small smile was ghosting his lips. “I don’t kiss and tell.”
Sho nearly had a heart attack at that, and he need to stay silent for a while to calm himself down.
“Did I say it wrong?” Enomoto asked upon Sho’s silence. “Did I use it at the wrong time?”
“No, well, no. You said it at the right time. I just – well.” He waved his hand in hope that Enomoto would just drop it, and then he said, “So you traveled a lot.” At this, Enomoto nodded timidly. “But now you’re staying at Tokyo?”
“And you came to Jun’s party.”
“Ninomiya-san told me about this party, and he asked me to go along.”
“You met Nino?!” He asked in a surprise, because he still got along and talked with Nino even until this day, and yet Nino never brought up the fact that he has met Enomoto.
“He came to my office once, and we’ve been talking ever since.”
Sho felt something hot sizzling on his chest, which later he found out to be jealousy. It was stupid to get jealous, but he did. Somehow it irritated him that Nino met Enomoto faster than him, and he even knew what kind of work Enomoto was doing right now, while Sho know next to nothing about it; Enomoto could possibly do anything. He could either be a scientist or a baker, and Sho’d probably never find out. “I see.”
“Ninomiya-san is pretty persistent. He told me over and over again to come. He said that I could meet you here.”
Sho wasn’t expecting that.
He stared worriedly at Enomoto, but the said man was as calm as ever; his expression was betraying nothing, but Sho knew that he was about to bring that up. Enomoto was going to talk about that day, he was sure of it. “You want to see me…?”
“There’s something that we need to talk about.” Enomoto stared at him knowingly. “Isn’t there?”
Sho didn’t know how to answer to that other than by silence. He bit his lower lips anxiously, silently praying to every God up there that someone would walk in right at this moment to save him because he didn’t want to have this conversation – he didn’t want this. “Is there?” He asked instead as he averted his eyes from Enomoto’s stare.
“On the graduation day, you gave something to me.” Enomoto’s voice carried over, and Sho could feel his heart sped up. “You gave me the second button of your gakuran.”
“You did.” Enomoto sounded a bit offended at this; there was a soft rustling noise coming from him, and soon enough something rolled towards Sho’s direction and Sho stared at it in a surprise.
It was the second button of his gakuran.
“I kept it.” Enomoto said. “I always bring it with me whenever.”
Sho couldn’t believe he was hearing this; he took the button and he held it tight around his palm.
“You asked me something at that day, didn’t you?” Enomoto asked, but his voice dropped into a whisper now; despite the blaring music seeping from the outside though, Sho could hear it just fine. “And I never get to answer it.”
Sho closed his eyes. Oh god.
Sho remembered that day like it happened just yesterday. He still remembered the sakura petals that were dancing in the sky that day, still remembered how he asked from one person to another about Enomoto’s whereabouts, still remembered how he had to turn down some of the girls that had asked for the second button of his gakuran. He still remembered finding Enomoto on the pond on the back of the school, sitting under the tree with his eyes closed and his graduation certificates resting on the grass quietly. He still remembered how Enomoto’s eyes went open when Sho approached him, still remembered the question marring his face as he stood to face Sho properly.
He still remembered the look on Enomoto’s face as Sho shyly took his second button and gave it to Enomoto. He still remembered the look on Enomoto’s face as Sho said, “I like you, Kei-kun.”
Confusion. Disbelief. Also sadness.
Sho had waited for a moment as the words sunk in, and he waited some more for Enomoto to reply, but he never did. Enomoto was silent all the time with a frown on his face, and he was staring at Sho’s second button, and Sho knew then that he was stupid. He knew then that Enomoto was going to reject him.
So he left. He left without saying anything else to Enomoto. He left before Enomoto had the chance to further break his heart.
Enomoto never called out for him.
Sho stuffed the button to his pocket and he stood; it happened years ago, and although it made him happy that Enomoto was still keeping his second button, Sho didn’t want to hear his answer anymore. It has been years, for god sake, and wasn’t it going to be really cruel if Enomoto rejected him now? “You don’t have to answer it anymore.” Sho said as he approached the door and turned the knob over and over again in hope it’d give up and open it way for Sho to leave this place for good. “You don’t have to.”
“But I want to.” Enomoto said stubbornly. “You left without me giving me a chance to answer.”
“It was obvious that you didn’t want to answer anyway.” Sho said. God dammit this fuckin door I swear I’m going to kick it now. “I saw your expression, and –“
“You don’t know what I was thinking about.”
“I can guess.” FOR THE LOVE OF –
Enomoto didn’t answer anymore, and Sho didn’t know if he should be glad or not. What did he knew was that he needed to get out of here immediately and –
Enomoto was suddenly behind him, and before Sho could turn away to properly face him, he slammed his hands on both sides of Sho’s body, successfully trapping him against the door with a sulk on his face as he glared in annoyance at Sho. Sho found all of this to be quite funny, really, because Enomoto was smaller and shorter than him, and Sho would’ve laugh at the bizarre situation if not because Enomoto was standing way too close, and Sho was staring down at him, at his long eyelashes and pretty lips and –
“Whatever you were guessing back then, it was all wrong.” The words came out from Enomoto’s parted lips – dammit he should’ve looked away, but he couldn’t. “I told you before that I was traveling – I was going to leave that day, Sho-kun. I have a flight ready at night after my graduation, and I was so ready to leave, before you came up to me and told me you like me. I couldn’t answer right away because I wasn’t sure on what to say – I was leaving, Sho-kun. And I hate how you made me feel that day; I hate it because for a moment, I actually doubted my decision on leaving.”
Sho’s eyes widened; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. If his confession that day made Enomoto doubted his decision, then did that means Enomoto actually have feeling too for him? Before Sho could ask him, Enomoto has continued again. “But as I was thinking on how to answer you, you left me.” He said accusingly, and Sho felt his cheeks heated up thanks to that. “Before I could answer you properly, you left, and I have no way of telling you about how I feel, so I decided to just stick to my plan and left.”
Sho took a deep breath. “So if I actually waited for you, what would your answer be?”
Enomoto answered flatly. “I like you too.”
He didn’t know how Enomoto could said such words with such flat expression and flat voice, but nevertheless, Sho was so happy about it anyway. He could feel a grin forming in his face as the knots on his stomach loosened; slowly, shyly, he circled his arms around Enomoto’s waist, tugging him closer but not quite because he still needed a confirmation. “And if I tell you that I still like you even now, what would your answer be?”
Enomoto sighed, but Sho could never miss the reddening of his cheeks under the bright fluorescent light. “I still like you even now too.”
That was all the answer he needed.
Sho swiftly leaned in for a kiss. Enomoto’s glasses bumped against his nose painfully as he kissed him, but Sho didn’t care at all – the pain seemed to be non-existent as their lips touched, because Sho felt his chest explode and warmth flooding over his whole being, even more when Enomoto kissed back passionately. He couldn’t help but thinking about how stupid he was back then; if only he hasn’t misunderstood, if only he waited just a little bit more for Enomoto’s answer, perhaps he would’ve never left and Sho would be able to kiss him like this – all those years of kissing Enomoto like this was wasted because of his foolishness.
But he decided then, as Enomoto pulled him in for another kiss right when Sho was about to pull away, that he wouldn’t regret this. Perhaps it was all just fate wicked way to bring them together, but nevertheless, they were together now, and that was all that matters.
He asked him though, when they finally stopped kissing long enough to catch their breaths, “You’re mine now, aren’t you?”
Enomoto smiled – he smiled, for god sake – and then he nodded firmly. “I think we need a lot of catch up to do though, but not here.”
“What –“ Before he knew it, Enomoto has pulled out a pin out of nowhere and inserted it into the keyhole, and after a few tumbling here and there, a very satisfying sound of the door being unlocked could be heard, and true enough, Enomoto managed to turn the door knob successfully, and it went opened smoothly. “How about we continue talking somewhere else?” Enomoto suggested nonchalantly, while Sho couldn’t help but staring at him in shock, even more when he noticed why exactly no one has come to help them – a sign of ‘This restroom are unavailable at the moment’ was hanging on the door.
“You…” Sho stuttered. “Did you just – what is going on here – I can’t even –“
Enomoto twirled the pin on his fingers with a smirk. “I’ll tell you my job.” He tip-toed and placed his warm lips against Sho’s ears, and then he whispered something that made everything clear to Sho.
“I work at a security company.”
And Sho laughed, so hard he even has to double-over with Enomoto watching him amusedly. He couldn’t believe that everything that had just happened – them being locked in the restroom together and them finally ended up being together – was all Enomoto’s scheme. It was all a crazy, fucked up scheme, but if he was to be honest, Sho didn’t mind at all.
He didn’t mind at all.
Swiftly, he circled his arm around Enomoto’s waist, and he stirred them towards the exit of the building. Enomoto stared at him, and then at the crowds where everyone was busy dancing, and then he asked, “Is it okay to leave?”
“Isn’t it what you wanted, Kei-kun?”
Enomoto smirked yet again.