Currently, Eren sat with his friends at lunch, halfheartedly stirring his so-called soup, which mostly consisted of water. Not that he wasn’t hungry, but he had definitely lost his appetite this morning as Levi had told him to come to Hange’s room after lunch. Most likely for another experiment.
“Yeager, you’re late. Get your ass over here”, came the not-so-friendly shout of the Corporal across the dining hall before he already turned around and left the room once again.
Eren jumped in his seat and quickly slid the dish over to Sasha, who downed the soup like her life depended on it, then he got up and followed the raven with quick, wide steps to catch up with him. His friends called after him and wished him good luck, making him grimace and think ‘Thanks, I’ll definitely need that.’
After half of the way to Hange’s room Eren caught up with Levi. The man strode with a fast and stern pace, the sounds of his combat boots colliding with the floor Eren cleaned just yesterday being the only ones in the hallway. For the raven at least, because Eren sure as hell could hear his own damn heart beating wildly in his chest. Being in one room with the Corporal was nerve-wrecking enough, let alone walking behind him. The raven just had to sway his hips a little while he walked, just barely noticeable, and raise both of his arms to correct the way his alluring cravat was tied, unconsciously lifting his shirt in the process and revealing his pale, ripped physique.
It took all he had to take his eyes off the man he was drawn to and to concentrate on the task at hand instead. ‘Do not think about the hot, perfectly curved ass of Levi’, Eren chided himself mentally, ‘do not think about the hot, perfectly curved ass of Levi, do not think about the hot, perfectly curved ass of-‘
“LEVI, MY LITTLE MIDGET!” The ear-shattering scream of Hange echoed through the hallway, being the perfect diversion for Eren as they skipped towards the Corporal and embraced him in a bone crushing hug. “I missed you! You were gone for so long, I thought you died!” They sobbed.
“Let me down, you shit-faced titan! I was only gone for ten fucking minutes”, he snarled and hit them on their head so Hange let him fall with a pout. “Ouchie. Levi, I’m hurt!”
“Whatever. Don’t we have other things to do? I’ve brought the titan brat with me.”
Their attention snapped towards Eren and their eyes began to have a crazy shimmer. Eren gulped at this sight and prepared himself mentally for another pain-filled, agonizing experiment.
Next thing he knew, he was tugged into their room and left standing in front of a machine as big as Squad Leader Mike. It was built of metal, and on its side was some kind of display of the inside and a lot of different buttons Eren didn’t even want to understand.
He looked at Levi helplessly, but in the way he eyed the …thing…in the middle of the room Eren knew he was just as skeptical about it as the titan shifter himself. The raven send him a look that if he didn’t know better he’d say consisted of pity.
“This, my cutie pies, is my newest invention!” Hange squealed with delight while turning around to the display and beginning to type something. Eren could almost hear Levi rolling his eyes at the nickname they gave them.
“And what does it do?”, Eren asked carefully, hoping not to suffer from another, hour-long speech without becoming one bit wiser.
“It can transport you through time and back!”, they grinned.
While Eren just stood there and let the words sink in, the Corporal snorted. “And how the fuck should that help with defeating the titans, you useless shit?”
They typed in the last few things and looked up. “Well, he could ask someone in the future how we defeated them, or he could bring something back, maybe a clever invention of mine which killed all titans we came across! Imagine the POSSIBILITIES!”
Eren gulped loudly. “So, basically I’m the guinea pig for your invention? And you’re sure I’m not dying between the centuries?”
“Totally sure, like, 100% sure! You could lose an arm or a leg on the way, but that’s not a problem for you right?”
“Right”, he replied bitterly, and then sighed. “Well, if it’s for humanity, I guess I could try it…”
He could barely hear Levi’s “Don’t be dumb, you’re only satisfying their curiosity” while Hanji squealed once again. They led him through some kind of door into the machine, where he felt sort of claustrophobic. The door closed and Hange pushed some buttons again. “Okay, it’s set”, came the muffled, but excited statement of the scientist through the walls of the machine. “You’re in the future for only five minutes, alright? You’ll land in the exact same spot you’re now standing. Have a good trip and don’t forget to –“
Eren never knew what he shouldn’t forget as everything blurred in front of him and a bright light nearly blended him, making him close his eyes. He felt like his form was jerked and then minimized before he felt normal once again. As his feet finally stood on a firm ground he dared to open his eyes. ‘Wow, this was once Hange’s room? How many years did she send me into the future again?’ Eren thought while he let his look wander through the room. The walls were exactly the same kind of stone as in his times, but the king-sized bed in the middle of the room had messy but colorful sheets thrown over the mattress, and there were some things placed next to it he couldn’t quite put a finger on. He remembered himself that he had only five minutes, and strode towards the strange object. It looked a lot like those leather bag only those rich bastards within Wall Sina had, but instead of cowhide it consisted of a hard but bendable material and had four rolls underneath. Letting his curiosity get the better of him, he opened the bag and found a lot of clothes, a notebook with an old cover and yellowed pages, some kind of thin machine which would fit onto his lap and many, many square foils with a circle in it.
“What the fuck is this shit?” He mumbled.
Suddenly, one of the two doors opened and –Eren couldn’t quite believe his very own eyes- Levi and a second Eren strutted into the room, half-naked and only covered by very revealing towels. He jumped up from his position next to the bag and stared at them open-mouthed, unable to say or do anything else.
But they didn’t notice at first, too busy shoving their tongues down each other’s throat. He blushed furiously, and granted, it was weird and hot at the same time, watching himself and the man of his (wet) dreams make out.
Unconsciously, he had taken a step backwards and accidently hit a nightstand. His heart beat like mad as he looked up and was met with two pairs of eyes. Fuck.
“Well, this is awkward”, he muttered, trying to brace himself against a shit storm coming from his Corporal and himself. Really fucking awkward.
“Oh, we already anticipated you!”, the Future Eren grinned, letting go of Levi and skipped towards the time traveler, who stood there dumb-struck. “Not right now but in general, you know?”
“What the …”
“Oh, I forgot, you only got five minutes, right? You must have a lot of questions, but first let me give this to you!”
The Future Eren squatted down next to the bag the other Eren had examined earlier, and handed him the book – and after an amused, wicked glance to Levi also some of the foils – before he sat down on the bed. “Okay, shoot!”
“How many years have I travelled in time?”, he asked after a confused look at the gifts and then at Levi and the other Eren. Although his look definitely remained longer on the half-naked, hot raven whose hair was still a bit wet.
“Ten years.” Levi responded while strutting over to Future Eren and sat behind him on the bed, laying his arms around his waist.
Unable to not ask, he pointed at them, extremely confused firstly at their make out session and secondly, those affectionate touches. “What exactly are you two?”
“Fiancées”, Eren grinned. “We’ll be husbands in a six days, to be exact.”
While he blushed at the unexpected answer, Levi actually smiled. He fucking smiled. Maybe this was a parallel universe after all?
Eren had probably only one minute before he’d go back in time, but fuck scientific questions, this was more important. “Since when are you guys together?!”, he asked hastily.
“Ten years”, came the cheeky answer of himself- eh, the Future Eren. “I asked Levi out after I discovered we’re going to be together after my own time travel. Also the reason why we already awaited your arrival.”
Levi smirked and nodded along with what his fiancée said before he spoke. “By the way, we already defeated the titans some years ago. Some crazy invention of Hange, don’t ask me. But it’s all explained in there” – he pointed at the book – “so just give it to them and you all will be fine.”
“Oh my God”, Eren breathed. “This is fantastic. And this’ll absolutely work?”
“Yep. As well as you and Levi”, Future Eren joked, earning a snort by Levi.
The time traveler blushed again, but cursed as he noticed the same kind of nausea he had felt while he had gone through time and space. “Shit, I gotta go”, he said hurriedly as he raised the foils. “What are these?!”
“Condoms!”, came the hasty but laughed response of Future Eren, while his sight was already blurred. “Use them for clean, safe sex!”
Then the ground fell out underneath Eren’s feet, and he held the condoms and the book in a firm grip, squinting his eyes shut. As he opened them some seconds later, he stood behind Hange gaping at the machine and Levi tapping his feet repeatedly. Both of them jumped as Eren awkwardly cleared his throat.
“EREN, THERE YOU ARE! WHAT HAPPENED; AND CAN WE DEFEAT THE TITANS?!” Hange screamed like a madman after they composed themselves. Levi just shot them an annoyed look and strutted towards Eren, taking the two things out of his hands and scanning through the yellowed pages of the book.
“Ehm, well, I talked with my older version and Levi”, he laughed sheepishly (Levi looked up at the mention of his own name and his expression changed into a curious one while he waited for Eren to continue) “and they gave me the book where everything is standing inside. Yes, we’ll defeat the titans with your invention, Hange!” he grinned.
Hange started to scream again and pried the book out of Levi’s hands, maniacally flipping through it. While they were occupied with this, the Corporal looked at the foils with narrowed eyes. “And for what is this?”
Eren flushed in embarrassment once again. “W-well, uhm, these are condoms”, he mumbled, earning himself a raised eyebrow of Levi, who had of course no idea of those kind of modern inventions.
“A condom is a sheath-shaped barrier device that may be used during sexual intercourse to reduce the probability of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted infections”, Hange crackled while reciting of the last page of the book they already opened. “It says here that you both should go on a date ASAP – what does that even mean? – because we both know how you feel for each other.” At this point they started to laugh loudly and wiggled their eyebrows at them suggestively, making Eren blush and Levi send them a look that basically said ‘are you fucking kidding me you piece of shit’. “Who the fuck had written that?”
Hange looked at it again, first narrowing their eyes just to widen them comically. “HAH! Here’s your own signature and Eren’s. Seems legit.”
“We’re married in ten years”, Eren stated sheepishly, looking at his own feet.
For a moment, nothing happened, until Levi’s own feet appeared in his visual field. “Well”, the Corporal purred, making the brunet look up by gently pushing his chin higher with his forefinger. “I guess then I have to listen to myself and ask you out.”