First posted to ff.net on 10/6/11
a/n – I'm never short of imagining scenes between these two.
Disclaimer : I will not state the obvious here. That I'm poor and cannot even afford one of those ugly bridesmaid dresses let alone ownership of an entire fucking movie. Yeah, I just stated it.
Fools In Love Come In Pairs.
Kevin never knows why he joins her on these masochistic endeavors of hers.
You get the drift right? The ones where she tries on the wedding dress for her spoilt brat of a sister who's marrying the love of Jane's life. The ones where said spoilt brat of a sister shows how much of a spoilt brat she is and demands that Jane better get those ' damn lilies' because nothing but pure white virginal flowers will do for the girl who was obviously born in the deepest pits of hell. (Jane half-heartedly protests this conclusion but he's pretty sure he'll win her over. Half way through trying on ugly bridesmaid dresses and Jane will hop over to the side of all that is good and bright.)
Seriously, is he a masochist though?
Some part of his conscious agrees and come to think of it, masochist tendencies have to be the only explanation for why he's head over heels, crazy in love with a born masochist who has spent a lifetime putting other's needs before her own.
On one such endeavor or rather suicide mission (seriously, she needs to get her head examined like now) where she's tasting the dinner courses for the reception, he asks her a question which unknowingly spawns repercussions or some shit like that. (He'd like to have you know, at that point of time, he was undergoing some serious trauma to a fist shaped blood pumping mass of muscle that seemed like a frivolous addition to the anatomy)
"Obviously, you hate your sister's guts. Yet why sit here and go through the motions with an actual goddamn honest to goodness smile pasted on your face?"
The smile that slides across her face at his strained outburst veers between mildly amused to slightly cautious.
"Because, even though I hate her guts, she's my little sister and you should know by now, I kind of can't seem say no to her." This time, another smile skitters across her face, woven with a multitude of emotions – anger, fondness, resignation, defeat and love.
That smile sours his mood and makes him feel like he regurgitated something bitter. They call that jealousy, he realizes much later. The monster possesses him and voices what he cannot subdue but has been striving to do so.
"Why do you care for all the wrong people? Why not the ones who deserve it?"
"I don't care for all the wrong ones. I care for the ones who matter. No matter how much of a bitch my sister is, she's still my sister. And as much as I hate it, I love her."
In an uncharacteristic burst of emotion, the volcano inside his heart explodes.
"Don't I deserve it? Don't I matter?" His voice is petulant and angry cause – is she really that blind? Can't she see that he's crazy about her and will love her and adore her and appreciate her more than her stupid lunkhead of a boss ever will?
"Why would I?" She scoffs instantly but the look on his face, like he's been repeatedly punched in the gut brings her to a dead halt.
"Kevin? Is there something I need to know?"
He pulls his sarcastic armor back on quick. "Nothing. Was pulling your leg. Got you, didn't I?" He laughs. And it sounds like his normal laugh. Sarcastic and with just enough bite to cover the hurt that blindsides him.
Jane looks at him with worried apprehension, like something is tightening inside of her heart but he does not allow her to peer beyond the surface veneer of his emotions. His head arbitrarily decides that he is wasting his time on her. Obviously, she will never love him like she loves that oblivious dunderhead.
However, Jane does notice. Jane notices the pain of someone pining for a person who is yet to see them and all that they have to give. And instinctively, her heart wells and connects with that pain even though it goes away before it can even register it properly.
Things go back to normal, but there is an undercurrent of something that Kevin refuses to acknowledge and that Jane can't quite put her finger on.
Later that day, when they part ways, Jane gives Kevin a hug and her arms linger around him a little longer than necessary. In turn, Kevin's head shifts into the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of roses and being filled by an unimaginable yearning that he can't quite comprehend.
The moment lingers much too long, and when they finally separate, they can't quite face each and just like that, goodbyes are said and done.
Unsaid words however still hang in the air.
Later that night, Kevin thinks back and realizes, that, shit – he and Jane aren't that much different from each other. At least not as far as one aspect is concerned.
Two fools in love is what Kevin bitterly chuckles to himself.