This morning, I saw the most lovely of flowers growing in the sidewalk. At first, I couldn’t believe it had remained so intact, being trapped in the middle of the road. In the middle of a battlefield, even. But I thought, it’s so beautiful, of course no one would disturb such beauty.
It is a ray of sunshine, a beautiful woman in the road. I hope it is a sign of good fortune for us.
Soon... Soon, we will...
It doesn’t much matter. I have nothing to fear. If Guren believe in us, there is nothing to fear.
Still, as I say this, I can’t stop shaking. Why is that?
His arms grasp my neck so swiftly, so tightly, I have no hope of breathing at all. I’m amazed I can open my mouth, to even have the strength and air to say a final word.
I must be strong, for them. I must be the adult, for them. For the children, for Hyakuya, I must remain strong.
I open my mouth slowly, and then--!
The boy is a nuisance, but isn’t that true for all boys? I wonder if even Guren was like that. Headstrong, with an unmatched passion in his eyes. I respect the boy’s hardiness, but still... A child? A child soldier?
Are we so low on men we must resort to using children?
He has a look that says “I’m doing this of my own volition,” and yet I can’t help but feel sorry for him. If we both make it, to the end, I have to make him a nice dinner. So he doesn’t forget that we are his family, so that he remembers what having a family is like.
...Stupid, isn’t it?
Would those vampires even believe I could kill one of their own with a pitiful knife? Somehow, I doubt it. Do they feel nothing for this man?
I wonder why I’m saying all these things to him. I should protect Hyakuya, and yet I’m giving him away so easily.
If I lived where that vampire left me, all my efforts would have been for nothing. I would have lived in shame. If I thought of that, I’d never be able to sleep at night again.
So I told him what I could.
My body is writhing, but this isn’t enough. This isn’t...
The garden is marvelous in all it’s destruction. It has an air of life to it other places do not. Even with all the pain I feel, thinking of the comrades I’ve failed to protect, I feel at ease breathing this air.
In a way, I could lie here forever, contemplating all the beautiful things we fight for. All the people who are still alive, all the plants that still grow, the children who still smile.
Perhaps it’s only fate that I, too, should die here. But... But... But I...
I take a walk to the fountain, or rather what’s left of it. I feel a little nervous going outside these days, but who wouldn’t? If I let that fear take me, I’ll be worthless to Guren, so I take these walks everyday.
Water drips down slowly, so dreadfully slowly at times it brings my skin crawling and my heartbeat racing. When will it drop? When will it be free?
I let the air hold my hand as I walk home. I’m alive today, as is the whole world around me. I should be happy.
I don’t want to die.
I hope Hyakuya is happy...
What kind of family am I.... Dying on him... Crying in front of him...
If this vampire lets him smile, then--
I saw the most lovely flower bloom today. So bright, so full of life... To be able to grow in such a dull, lifeless area...
I will wait for the others here. For Guren, to prove to him I am good enough, I must wait for them.
This flower must be a sign of good fortune, a fact that we will make it through this mess alright. That we will smile together again.
I truly believed I could smile one more time, without pissing myself in fear. I wonder, if in the face of danger I’ve lost my humanity to them.
Is that why I said all those reckless things so easily?
Hyakuya... Are you proud of us? Are we... your... family?
In the end, the flower drooped, as well.